Adventure Time (2010–2018): Season 4, Episode 3 - Web Weirdos - full transcript
After being caught by a giant spider, Finn and Jake try and help the arachnid with its marital problems so they won't be eaten.
♪ Adventure Time ♪
♪ Come on, grab your friends ♪
♪ We'll go to very
distant lands ♪
♪ With Jake the dog ♪
and Finn the human ♪
♪ The fun will never end ♪
♪ It's Adventure Time ♪
Ripped By mstoll
Babla-babla babla-babla-baloo!
Stunts!
Hyah!
Yeah!
Yo, Finn! Look what I found!
A vertical trampoline!
It's sticky.
Dude, it's a spider web.
Ohhh.
Well, cut me out, yo!
No way.
I'll stunt you out!
Whaaah!
I was thinking something
else would happen.
You got anything sharp?
The only sharp thing I
had were my fingernails,
but you made me cut them.
They were too long, Finn.
Aaaaah!
You broke the skin, dude!
I guess my fingernails are
really lo-o-o-o-o-o-o-ng!
Aaaaaaaaaaaaah!
Oh, yeah.
Sorry.
It's cool, man.
Can you stretch us out of here'?
Humph!
Hmphhhhh!
Humphhh!
Aghh!
I'm gonna take a nap while you
grow out your fingernails.
We'll make our escape
when I wake up.
You'll never escape!
We will all die in the web!
That's the circle of life.
That's not a circle.
That's, like... a straight line.
We don't make the rules, man.
Well, don't just give up.
And you're walking too fast.
You know I can't...
The spiders are back!
Try to stay calm.
Greet your fate with dignity.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
We got to go, Jake!
Jake!
So, what? You're not
talking to me now?
No.
I'm just tired from setting
traps all day solo style.
Why are you mad?
I just said I was tired.
But you're acting
like you're mad.
I'm not mad!
Oh, look... food...
that I caught.
In my web.
For us.
I spin webs, too, Ed.
Yeah, I know.
I try just as hard as you.
Hmm?
Well, go ahead, then.
Wrap them up for laters.
What's wrong, Barb?
What's going on there, Jake?
I can't!
You think I'm gross
when I spin my web!
What?!
I could see it on your face!
Tell me that you don't!
Uh...
I... uh... um...
You tell me you don't
find me gross!
Oh, get stuffed, Ed!
Barb!
You guys are sad.
Ugh! What is that sound?
Sick, dude! She makes
that sound, too?
Yeah, I guess, but she never
does it in front of me.
Anyway, it's not gross
when guys do it.
Dude, that's not cool.
You need to think
about what you say
and how that affects your lady.
How about how she affects me?
I love her, man.
Hmm... huh?
Humph!
Oh, snap.
How long was I out?
Can someone tell
me why we fight...
Why she treats me like all
I do is make her feel bad?
Tell me, Glob.
Why don't you ever answer me?!
It's hard to step outside of
yourself when you're enmeshed
with another being.
Oh, Grod! It's over! It's over!
Aaaaaaaah!
Wait!
What?
Ummmmm...
Right now, we got to real-talk
about your girlfriend.
I don't real-talk with my food.
Uh...
We real-talk now, or
you're gonna be as single
as your stinky web squirter!
Yeah, right.
You just want to
get out of my web.
All you food ever
want to do is escape.
Y'all is always like in cahoots,
making plans not to be food.
I'm not in cahoots.
So, okay.
Eat your friend here.
Okay.
No, Finn! What?! Where
is your heart?!
Look inside yourself!
This isn't you!
I'm gonna fake-eat you, man.
Oh. Word.
N-o-o-o-o-o-o!
Oh, my guts!
My guts everywhere!
Ohhhh! How could you?!
Aaaaah!
Okay, man.
You've earned my trust.
So let's do this.
Real-talk me, Bro.
Okay, first off, then,
how you're going about
this isn't working.
Am I right?
Yeah.
It's not working.
My way sucks.
Cool. Now we got to
do damage control...
Healing the negs
energy at the source.
Yes, heal the negsergies in me.
All right, uh...
Go find Barb a present.
That'll fix the first neg.
Can you do that?
Yeah, I can find her a present,
if you think that'll help.
I don't think it will.
But what do l know?
I'm just a big ol' dummy
who does everything wrong.
Ptoo!
Wheeeeee!
You're free-e-e-e-e!
Ugh!
Oh, man!
It's okay, Finn.
You bought us some time.
Yeah. Think fast.
What can we use?
There's nothing.
Just a bunch of nature.
I have a dumb idea.
Get her a present.
Hmph.
When was the last time
she got me a present?
What would she want, anyways?
How do I know? We never talk.
Geez, what happened to my life?
All my friends are gone.
They all got kids now.
I don't have kids.
All I have is Barb.
And she treats me
like a-a dingus!
Oh! Cool!
A sword!
Wow! Neat!
It's magic or something!
We can hang this up over our
mantel and snuggle by the fire
like we... like we used to!
I'm gonna fix us, Barb!
Fix us!
All right, one...
two...
three!
Yo! What?
Shoot!
Here comes another one.
One, two, three!
My eyes!
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
Ha ha! Yes! Finally!
Good job!
Last chance for life. Break out!
Yeah, you mommy!
Hey! What's going on here'?
Nothing.
Aah!
Oh!
Crabapples!
Where's Ed?
Oh. Uh, he's getting you
an "I'm sorry“ gift.
He feels crazy about
making you cry.
He does'? Really?
Barb! Barb!
Ed?
Barb! Look! Damage control!
Check it out!
I wrapped it up and everything!
Oh, Ed, I can't believe it!
Yeah! Come on! Open it!
I-I really just...
I-It's just so unlike you to...
What's this?
It's a sword.
I found it in the woods.
In the woods?!
Yeah. It's magical, though.
Check out the blade!
You got this for you, Ed.
No, I got it for us... For
snuggles by the fire!
We are never gonna snuggles
until you learn
to appreciate me!
Oh, really?
Well, I guess we're never
gonna eat again, either,
'cause I catch the food and
your butt is dysfunctional!
Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
Yaaaaah!
Go! Run away, food!
We don't need you, apparently!
Just break up, you guys!
Do it for you!
Now what are you gonna eat?
Huh, Barb?
I'm gonna eat you!
Yo! That's wrong!
Who ca-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-res?!
Aaah!
Aaaaaaaah!
We're free!
Aaaaaaaaaah!
Eeee! Ohhhh! Aaaah!
Aaaaaaaaaaaaah!
No! No! No! Aah!
Oh, no.
You got that look on your face.
You going back to
help that fool?
His wife's gonna eat him!
Spider marriage is complicated.
Sometimes you just got
to mind your own biz.
Oh, help! Somebody help me!
Go with Glob.
Oof!
Mercy!
Aah! Oh! Ugh!
Ugh!
You little twerp!
Are you stupid Or something?!
Yeah, I'm stupid!
But I know something real... You
shouldn't eat your husband!
Whoa! Ugh!
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
Aaaaaah! Ohhhhhhhhhhh!
Yo. Smoothing things out?
Uh, not exactly.
Barb! Barb!
What's wrong, my love?
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargghh!
Aghh!
O-kay.
What is happening?!
Something we're not
supposed to see.
Oh, Ed.
We're parents!
Oh, sick!
I think there's
hope for us, Barb.
We can make a new start...
As a family.
Nice.
Think they're gonna make it?
Love like theirs will
always find a way.
It'll crawl all up over you
and drain your body fluids,
poisoning you slowly
until you pass out.
Whaaaaaa!
Circle of life, Finn.
Circle of life.
Yeeeeoooohhhhh!
♪ Come along with me ♪
♪ And the butterflies and bees ♪
♪ We can wander
through the forest ♪
♪ And do so as we please ♪
♪ Come along with me ♪
♪ To a cliff under a tree ♪
This party is so crazy!
Ripped By mstoll
♪ Come on, grab your friends ♪
♪ We'll go to very
distant lands ♪
♪ With Jake the dog ♪
and Finn the human ♪
♪ The fun will never end ♪
♪ It's Adventure Time ♪
Ripped By mstoll
Babla-babla babla-babla-baloo!
Stunts!
Hyah!
Yeah!
Yo, Finn! Look what I found!
A vertical trampoline!
It's sticky.
Dude, it's a spider web.
Ohhh.
Well, cut me out, yo!
No way.
I'll stunt you out!
Whaaah!
I was thinking something
else would happen.
You got anything sharp?
The only sharp thing I
had were my fingernails,
but you made me cut them.
They were too long, Finn.
Aaaaah!
You broke the skin, dude!
I guess my fingernails are
really lo-o-o-o-o-o-o-ng!
Aaaaaaaaaaaaah!
Oh, yeah.
Sorry.
It's cool, man.
Can you stretch us out of here'?
Humph!
Hmphhhhh!
Humphhh!
Aghh!
I'm gonna take a nap while you
grow out your fingernails.
We'll make our escape
when I wake up.
You'll never escape!
We will all die in the web!
That's the circle of life.
That's not a circle.
That's, like... a straight line.
We don't make the rules, man.
Well, don't just give up.
And you're walking too fast.
You know I can't...
The spiders are back!
Try to stay calm.
Greet your fate with dignity.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
We got to go, Jake!
Jake!
So, what? You're not
talking to me now?
No.
I'm just tired from setting
traps all day solo style.
Why are you mad?
I just said I was tired.
But you're acting
like you're mad.
I'm not mad!
Oh, look... food...
that I caught.
In my web.
For us.
I spin webs, too, Ed.
Yeah, I know.
I try just as hard as you.
Hmm?
Well, go ahead, then.
Wrap them up for laters.
What's wrong, Barb?
What's going on there, Jake?
I can't!
You think I'm gross
when I spin my web!
What?!
I could see it on your face!
Tell me that you don't!
Uh...
I... uh... um...
You tell me you don't
find me gross!
Oh, get stuffed, Ed!
Barb!
You guys are sad.
Ugh! What is that sound?
Sick, dude! She makes
that sound, too?
Yeah, I guess, but she never
does it in front of me.
Anyway, it's not gross
when guys do it.
Dude, that's not cool.
You need to think
about what you say
and how that affects your lady.
How about how she affects me?
I love her, man.
Hmm... huh?
Humph!
Oh, snap.
How long was I out?
Can someone tell
me why we fight...
Why she treats me like all
I do is make her feel bad?
Tell me, Glob.
Why don't you ever answer me?!
It's hard to step outside of
yourself when you're enmeshed
with another being.
Oh, Grod! It's over! It's over!
Aaaaaaaah!
Wait!
What?
Ummmmm...
Right now, we got to real-talk
about your girlfriend.
I don't real-talk with my food.
Uh...
We real-talk now, or
you're gonna be as single
as your stinky web squirter!
Yeah, right.
You just want to
get out of my web.
All you food ever
want to do is escape.
Y'all is always like in cahoots,
making plans not to be food.
I'm not in cahoots.
So, okay.
Eat your friend here.
Okay.
No, Finn! What?! Where
is your heart?!
Look inside yourself!
This isn't you!
I'm gonna fake-eat you, man.
Oh. Word.
N-o-o-o-o-o-o!
Oh, my guts!
My guts everywhere!
Ohhhh! How could you?!
Aaaaah!
Okay, man.
You've earned my trust.
So let's do this.
Real-talk me, Bro.
Okay, first off, then,
how you're going about
this isn't working.
Am I right?
Yeah.
It's not working.
My way sucks.
Cool. Now we got to
do damage control...
Healing the negs
energy at the source.
Yes, heal the negsergies in me.
All right, uh...
Go find Barb a present.
That'll fix the first neg.
Can you do that?
Yeah, I can find her a present,
if you think that'll help.
I don't think it will.
But what do l know?
I'm just a big ol' dummy
who does everything wrong.
Ptoo!
Wheeeeee!
You're free-e-e-e-e!
Ugh!
Oh, man!
It's okay, Finn.
You bought us some time.
Yeah. Think fast.
What can we use?
There's nothing.
Just a bunch of nature.
I have a dumb idea.
Get her a present.
Hmph.
When was the last time
she got me a present?
What would she want, anyways?
How do I know? We never talk.
Geez, what happened to my life?
All my friends are gone.
They all got kids now.
I don't have kids.
All I have is Barb.
And she treats me
like a-a dingus!
Oh! Cool!
A sword!
Wow! Neat!
It's magic or something!
We can hang this up over our
mantel and snuggle by the fire
like we... like we used to!
I'm gonna fix us, Barb!
Fix us!
All right, one...
two...
three!
Yo! What?
Shoot!
Here comes another one.
One, two, three!
My eyes!
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
Ha ha! Yes! Finally!
Good job!
Last chance for life. Break out!
Yeah, you mommy!
Hey! What's going on here'?
Nothing.
Aah!
Oh!
Crabapples!
Where's Ed?
Oh. Uh, he's getting you
an "I'm sorry“ gift.
He feels crazy about
making you cry.
He does'? Really?
Barb! Barb!
Ed?
Barb! Look! Damage control!
Check it out!
I wrapped it up and everything!
Oh, Ed, I can't believe it!
Yeah! Come on! Open it!
I-I really just...
I-It's just so unlike you to...
What's this?
It's a sword.
I found it in the woods.
In the woods?!
Yeah. It's magical, though.
Check out the blade!
You got this for you, Ed.
No, I got it for us... For
snuggles by the fire!
We are never gonna snuggles
until you learn
to appreciate me!
Oh, really?
Well, I guess we're never
gonna eat again, either,
'cause I catch the food and
your butt is dysfunctional!
Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
Yaaaaah!
Go! Run away, food!
We don't need you, apparently!
Just break up, you guys!
Do it for you!
Now what are you gonna eat?
Huh, Barb?
I'm gonna eat you!
Yo! That's wrong!
Who ca-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-res?!
Aaah!
Aaaaaaaah!
We're free!
Aaaaaaaaaah!
Eeee! Ohhhh! Aaaah!
Aaaaaaaaaaaaah!
No! No! No! Aah!
Oh, no.
You got that look on your face.
You going back to
help that fool?
His wife's gonna eat him!
Spider marriage is complicated.
Sometimes you just got
to mind your own biz.
Oh, help! Somebody help me!
Go with Glob.
Oof!
Mercy!
Aah! Oh! Ugh!
Ugh!
You little twerp!
Are you stupid Or something?!
Yeah, I'm stupid!
But I know something real... You
shouldn't eat your husband!
Whoa! Ugh!
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
Aaaaaah! Ohhhhhhhhhhh!
Yo. Smoothing things out?
Uh, not exactly.
Barb! Barb!
What's wrong, my love?
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargghh!
Aghh!
O-kay.
What is happening?!
Something we're not
supposed to see.
Oh, Ed.
We're parents!
Oh, sick!
I think there's
hope for us, Barb.
We can make a new start...
As a family.
Nice.
Think they're gonna make it?
Love like theirs will
always find a way.
It'll crawl all up over you
and drain your body fluids,
poisoning you slowly
until you pass out.
Whaaaaaa!
Circle of life, Finn.
Circle of life.
Yeeeeoooohhhhh!
♪ Come along with me ♪
♪ And the butterflies and bees ♪
♪ We can wander
through the forest ♪
♪ And do so as we please ♪
♪ Come along with me ♪
♪ To a cliff under a tree ♪
This party is so crazy!
Ripped By mstoll