Adam Ruins Everything (2015–…): Season 3, Episode 4 - Adam Ruins Nature - full transcript
Adam digs up the dirt on nature, revealing that Mount Everest is a frozen pile of poop, natural disasters are actually man-made, and there is no such thing as untouched wilderness.
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♪♪
(MAN GRUNTING)
Look around, Birch.
You've made it.
Mount Everest.
(GRUNTING)
How foolish the fellows
back home
in the urban hiking club
will feel when you regale them
with this adventure.
Forget their tawdry walks
through the city park.
(LAUGHING, SHOUTING)
(SIGHS)
This... this is real nature.
No people, no cities.
Just pure,
untrammeled wilderness.
(LAUGHS)
Mother Nature doesn't get
any more natural than this!
Actually, your idea
of what counts as nature
is all wrong.
(SCREAMING)
Talk about a cold open.
Hi, I'm Adam Conover, and this
is "Adam Ruins Everything."
♪♪
Closed Captions Provided by
truTV
So, you said
your name's Birch?
Is that a nickname or...
Pull me up!
Pull me up!
Of course.
Sorry.
(GRUNTING)
Thank you.
(SIGHING)
Now, if you will
excuse me,
I will be continuing
my Everest summit solo.
I came up here to get
away from people.
Hate to break it to you,
but Everest
is actually
way too full of people.
And this avalanche
of tourists
is turning this
majestic mountain
into a depressing dump.
(SCOFFS)
I'm no tourist.
I'm on a spiritual journey.
Summitting Mount Everest
is the pinnacle
of human achievement.
Sure, it was,
the first time.
When mountaineers
Tenzing Norgay
and Edmund Hillary
summited Mount Everest
in 1953,
it was a feat never before
achieved by humankind.
Huzzah, we've done it!
And now, no one else
ever has to do it again.
(ADAM)
But today,
budget tour companies
help over 100,000 amateurs
climb Everest every year.
Unh!
(CAMERA CLICKS)
Ha-ha, crushing Everest A-F.
(IMITATES EXPLOSION)
What?!
But he's not
seeking enlightenment,
he's just a tourist!
Yeah!
And to make matters worse,
these tourists
are total slobs!
So many climbers abandon
tents, equipment,
and other items
on their climb,
every year the mountain
accumulates
around 50 new tons of trash.
Ugh.
Dude, can we Postmates
a maid up here?
Oh, that is shameful!
I will be taking all
of my waste with me.
Yeah?
Well, don't forget
about your human waste.
Everest tourists
annually leave behind
around 26,000 pounds
of pee and poop.
And since it takes longer
for waste to disintegrate
at high altitudes, that means
this majestic mountain
is now covered
in our poop-sicles.
So much human waste
has built up over the years
that local villages'
major water sources
are now completely polluted,
and their yaks
frequently get stuck
in ponds of human poop.
I can't imagine anything
more disturbing.
Well, it gets worse.
Because Everest is also
covered in dead bodies.
This once-pristine peak
is steadily becoming
the world's tallest
frozen cemetery.
(THUNDER CRASHING)
Hundreds of people have
died on Everest.
For every ten
successful summits,
there's one dead body.
And since the temperatures
are so frigid,
they'll never decompose.
There are so many
frozen corpses on Everest,
climbers actually use them
to navigate.
Holy shit, is that a dead guy?
Tight... that means
we make a left.
But Everest isn't just
dangerous for visitors.
The indigenous Sherpas
are the ones
taking the real risks...
Mapping out routes
and securing guide ropes,
all while babysitting
these amateur alpinists.
Ah, dude, can you take
a photo of me?
(ADAM)
It's one of the deadliest
jobs on the planet.
A third of people who die
on Everest are Sherpas.
Oh, back up more...
so you can get that cloud
that looks like a...
Ahhh!
Oh!
Whoa!
He's okay.
My trash broke his fall.
This is appalling!
Not only are these
narcissistic tourists
ruining this sacred mountain,
but they're getting
people killed?
Why hasn't the government
of Nepal
limited the amount
of people who can climb?
They can't afford to.
Nepal is a very
low-income nation,
and Everest tourism
is a major industry.
Sorry, how many people
are in your tour?
200.
My girl wants a destination
wedding at the summit,
and then we're all
gonna paraglide down.
Ha!
I am nothing
like that guy!
I'm afraid you are.
I know it's your dream
to climb this sacred mountain.
But the impact that you
and others have
when you indulge
in that dream
is turning Everest into
a poop-covered trash coffin.
Oh, you're right.
I am no better
than those monsters
who picnic in national parks.
People ruin everything!
(ECHOING)
An avalanche!
See?
No matter how bad
people mess things up,
Mother Nature is still
in charge!
Come on, let's run!
Actually, so-called
natural disasters
are pretty much human-made.
Come on,
I'll show ya.
(CHUCKLES)
Ah, I wish you'd let me
fall off that cliff.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
Welcome back to
the Weather History Channel,
also known as the only channel
your dad ever watches.
Every time
a natural disaster occurs,
the news reports on it
as though it's an unstoppable
act of God.
Right, Mother Nature
could destroy us
at any moment,
and we are powerless
to prevent it.
Wrong! Tonight, we revisit
some of the most deadly
natural disasters
in recent history,
and discover that these
"acts of God"
are very much human creations.
For more on that, let's go
to our disconcertingly cheery
chief meteorologist,
Drip Dripley.
Well, howdy do,
and how are you, Adam?
Hurricane Katrina was one
monster of a mess.
1,800 people died
and 80% of the population
of New Orleans was displaced.
But I'm gonna
shock you here.
The surprising truth is,
Hurricane Katrina
was not the storm
of the century.
In fact, it may have been
as weak as a Category 1
when it hit New Orleans.
Only a Category 1?
Then why all the destruction?
Good question,
Mr. Mountain Main.
The real culprit
wasn't the storm itself,
it was our failure
to prepare for it.
Half of New Orleans
lies below sea level,
which means it relied
on these levees
to control flooding.
But the levees
were constructed
out of sand built atop
porous soil,
which made them
extremely vulnerable
to rapid erosion
during Katrina.
Whoa, wipe out!
(SINGING)
Drip!
Inappropriate!
(LAUGHING)
Sorry, Adam.
Now, these levees had been
desperately in need
of maintenance for decades.
According to an
engineering investigator...
(DOLPHIN CHIRPING)
Whoa, I should not
be allowed on television!
And this pattern
of negligence
holds across every
major natural disaster
in recent history.
For more, let's go
to the Weather History Channel's
own Mr. Science,
Hurricane Harvey.
That's my name,
and what I'm here to talk about!
Hurricane Harvey
is a textbook example
of how human choices
artificially turned
a minor hurricane
into a devastating flood!
Up until the 1960s,
Houston was naturally protected
from major flooding
thanks to its
coastal prairies,
which absorbed flood waters
before they could do
any damage.
Ooh!
But as the city expanded,
greedy developers
exploited legal loopholes
to pave over those prairies.
And worse, they didn't even
tell new residents
that they now lived
in a flood zone.
So, when Harvey hit,
the water had nowhere to go,
and 47,000 people
were displaced.
And worst of all,
my breakfast is ruined.
Back to you, Adam!
(CHUCKLING)
Harvey.
So that area only flooded
because of how humans
modified the land?
It's unbelievable!
Okay, what about
Maria, huh?
That storm was huge.
Good question!
For more on that,
let's go to our
time-traveling storm chaser,
Dan Champion,
who's on the scene
at Hurricane Maria.
Thanks, Adam!
Every time
there's a major storm,
the media sends dopes like me
to stand outside
and get rained on
for your amusement.
But the truth is,
it wasn't the wind and rain
that was responsible
for the estimated
thousands of lives lost
in Puerto Rico.
It was because
after the storm...
...the island went 84 days
without water
and 64 days
without electricity.
The corporate corruption
and government neglect
that led to those failures
was the real killer.
Back to you, Adam.
I'm going the (BLEEP) inside.
So, all those people died
and we could have
prevented it?
Yes.
But I'm afraid the problem
is much bigger than just
a failure to prepare.
Our collective impact
on the planet
has led to climate change
on such a massive scale,
it's actually
making disasters stronger.
And for more on that,
we have Dr. Michael Mann,
distinguished professor
of atmospheric science
at Penn State University.
Always a pleasure to appear
on a parody
of the Weather Channel, Adam.
And you're right,
we can say
with a great degree
of confidence
that climate change
is making hurricanes
and other weather disasters
more extreme.
Now, Michael,
how is that possible?
Explain it to me like
I'm a five-year-old
who hates science
and thinks climate change
is a hippie crack-pot
conspiracy.
When you burn fossil fuels,
you warm the atmosphere,
you warm the ocean.
A warmer atmosphere
holds more moisture,
so these storms produce
more rainfall.
For every additional
degree of warmth,
wind speeds
for the strongest storms
increase by about
10 miles per hour.
Now, that translates
to a nearly 25% increase
in the destructiveness
of these storms.
The warming also
slows down the jet stream,
so these storms stay parked
in the same spot for longer,
giving you even more rainfall
and worse flooding.
Not only that,
climate change has caused
unprecedented wildfires
in North America
in recent years.
Global warming gives you
more heat waves,
it dries out forests,
so you get larger,
more destructive wildfires.
The truth is, Birch,
human activity is making
extreme weather events
more destructive.
And if we continue
to burn fossil fuels
and put carbon pollution
into the atmosphere,
we are gonna see
worse and worse droughts,
heat waves, superstorms,
floods, and wildfires.
That's unbelievable.
Believe it.
As mighty as nature is,
our impact on the planet
is even greater.
See, this is why
we need to be protecting
and preserving our planet,
not choking it to death
with our noxious emissions!
God, I cannot wait
to get back
to pure, wild,
untrammeled nature!
(GRUNTS)
What Birch hasn't
fully absorbed yet
is that no spot on Earth
is free from human impact.
We all affect nature.
Every breath you take,
every move you make...
I'll be watching you.
Now, this is why
I love climatologists.
You folks are hilarious.
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
(SIGHING)
Finally...
pure, pristine,
unadulterated nature.
(ADAM, IN BRITISH ACCENT)
Observe the homo sapien.
He believes he is a humble,
respectful visitor in nature.
But little does he know,
his very presence on this planet
irreparably changes it.
Hey, who is talking?!
In anger, he tears
at the undergrowth,
revealing our trusty narrator.
Like all humans,
he wreaks havoc on nature
wherever he goes.
Okay, David Atten-Boring,
that is not true.
I preserve nature.
I donate to
the National Parks Foundation,
I am on the board...
The human chatters
in protest,
not realizing that even
national parks
are human-made constructions.
What?
In fact, the man who conceived
of the very idea, John Muir,
himself irreparably
altered an entire ecosystem
in American's greatest park,
Yosemite.
Ah, there he is now,
entering Yosemite
for the very first time.
My goodness!
We must preserve this pristine
and untrammeled wilderness.
But the truth is,
it wasn't untrammeled at all.
Are you gonna do that voice
for the whole time?
(IN NORMAL VOICE)
Nah, that was enough.
The Ahwahnechee People
had made their home
in the area
we now know as Yosemite
for at least 3,500 years.
But Muir didn't consider them
natural in the least.
These people are most ugly,
some altogether hideous.
They have no right place
in the landscape.
Get them out of here!
(RIFLE COCKING)
Wait, the father
of America's national parks
believed in ethnic cleansing?
Pretty much, yeah.
But what Muir
didn't realize
was the supposedly pristine
nature he found
was in fact created
by the Ahwahnechee,
because for millennia,
they had cultivated the land
by selectively pruning plants,
sowing seeds,
and setting controlled fires.
What?
But forest fires
are bad, right?
To the contrary.
Forest fires
are actually necessary
to maintain the health
of a forest.
And by conducting
controlled burns,
the Ahwahnechee
cleared undergrowth
and made space
for new plants to grow,
increasing biodiversity.
Only we can start
forest fires.
(GUN COCKING)
After they were kicked out,
the undergrowth returned,
and without regular
controlled fires,
the forest became
twice as dense,
and as more vegetation had
to compete for water, drier.
So now, instead of many
small controlled burns,
Yosemite is more prone
to rare-but-extreme wildfires.
Muir didn't preserve
Yosemite's landscape
he completely altered it.
What?!
I thought that conversation
was all about preserving nature
in its natural state...
To have as little
impact as possible.
Sorry.
Try as we might,
our species is incapable
of having no impact
on the natural world.
Everywhere we go
is affected by our presence.
Simply going on a hike
in the woods
changes the ecosystem you visit.
One study found
that hiking trails
create a corridor of impact,
wherein wildlife reacts
to human presence
up to 100 meters
on either side of the trail.
And just by traveling
from place to place,
we introduce non-native species
into new environments
all the time,
even if it's just
the tiny bacteria
and fungi on your shoes.
(BIRCH)
But people have to travel.
How am I supposed
to protect nature
if I can't even get to it?
(ADAM)
The truth is,
there quite literally
isn't a spot on Earth
that hasn't been impacted
by humanity's existence.
The Atlantic Ocean
is so crowded
with fishing boats,
shipping lines,
undersea cables
and chemical runoff,
that right whales
now effectively live
in a noisy and polluted
underwater city.
To feed our massive appetite,
humanity now breeds
so much livestock
that our animal food supply
outweighs all other
terrestrial mammals
by 14 times.
We've even changed
the air itself.
5,000 years ago
the dawn of rice farming
released so much methane
into the atmosphere
it actually thwarted
a second Ice Age.
And thanks to increased
forest clearing,
factory emissions,
electricity generation,
and transportation,
every breath we take
now contains 41% more
carbon dioxide
than it did in 1750.
The hard truth is,
human activity
is altering the Earth's
fundamental systems
on such a massive scale,
scientists believe
we've actually entered
a new geological age...
The Anthropocene.
(WOMAN)
Otherwise known
as the Age of Humans.
(ADAM)
Birch, this is Emma Marris,
a science writer
who's written extensively
about the Anthropocene.
But pure nature must
exist somewhere, right?
I've seen it in
nature documentaries.
Actually, those documentaries
are part of the problem.
They're usually filmed
as if they're in
a vast wilderness
filled with animals.
But often, they're filmed
right by the road,
and they just cut it
out of the shot.
(HORN HONKING)
What?
No!
The truth is,
the majority of the Earth
is neither totally humanized
or totally wild.
It's somewhere in between.
We've altered three-quarters
of the land on Earth.
We have dammed rivers,
we have acidified the oceans,
we have pumped the atmosphere
full of carbon dioxide,
and we have moved
plants and animals around
on a massive scale.
And our effects on the planet
threaten life on Earth.
Our impact is immense
and deeply scary.
Entire ecosystems are on
the verge of being wiped out.
And because we transformed
their homes
and turned up
the temperature,
and introduced
new predators,
many species are on
the verge of extinction.
A meteor triggered
the mass extinction
that wiped out the dinosaurs.
And unless we make
drastic changes in how we live,
we could be the next meteor.
And although
the planet will survive,
our impact will be felt
in the geological record
for eternity.
So, there's no pristine,
untouched nature to preserve.
I'm afraid not.
Well, how do I go on living
in a world like that?
Don't lose heart, Birch.
There's still so much
we can do to protect
the nature right
in our own back...
No, Adam!
Just leave me here to die.
There's nothing left
to talk about.
Man, he is taking
this hard.
Pfft.
Nature bros.
(WHISTLING THEME)
Just leave me here
to die, Adam.
What's the point of living
if there's no more nature
to protect?
No matter how I try
and minimize my impact,
it's too late!
Forest beasts and insects come!
Feast upon my pitiful
human flesh!
Return me to the earth
so that I may harm you no more.
Yikes.
Birch, you are taking this
too hard, man.
Yeah, I think
I see the problem.
Birch, if you try
to define nature
as a place that's totally
untouched by humanity,
yeah, you're not gonna
find that on this planet.
But I think you just have
the wrong definition.
Instead, you could
define nature
as anywhere
where live thrives,
anywhere where there's
multiple species interacting.
And when you do that,
something kind of
amazing happens.
This becomes just as much
a part of nature
as Yosemite is.
Even a city park
like this one
is full of diverse plants,
insects, and other species,
including humans!
We're a part
of nature too.
And yes, that means
we can't help but impact it.
But we're unique among
all these species
in that we can
understand and change
the impact we're having.
And that gives us the power
and the responsibility
to nourish and protect
the natural world.
The trends we talked
about today are troubling.
But we can slow
and even reverse them
if we act now to fight
climate change,
and to protect not just
the nature out there,
but also the nature
here in our own backyards.
And that way,
you and everyone
can have a life filled
with nature every day.
And now, if you'll excuse me,
I'm gonna do a little
urban bird watching.
(BIRD CALLING)
(GASPS)
A bufflehead?
This time of year?
Amazing.
Wow.
You know, I never
thought of it that way.
I don't have to go out
into the wilderness
to commune with nature.
It's all around me!
(LAUGHS)
Hello, anas platyrhynchos!
(DUCK QUACKING)
And hello to you,
muhlenbergia rigens.
And a heartfelt hello
to you...
homo sapiens.
Birch, you're back.
I thought you said
city hikes were beneath you
and you needed to climb
Mount Everest to "escape."
(CLEARS THROAT)
My fellow outdoors people!
Please, forgive me.
I now see the error
of my ways.
This urban park is worthy
of as much respect
as the highest peaks.
Will you accept me
back into your fold?
Uh... sure.
We're leaving now, though.
Oh!
(LAUGHS)
Oh, Adam, I can't
thank you enough.
I now feel more
in touch with nature
than I ever did before.
Would you like
to join our hike?
I would love to!
I even brought a snack.
My patented trail bologna.
Um... never mind.
Okay, haha, more for me!
Mm!
Sweet and slimy!
(CHUCKLES)
Mm!
(WHISTLING THEME)
Okay, so we're here
at Griffith Park,
which is the big park in LA.
And we've been
shooting here all day.
You keep pointing out all
these animals all around us.
Well, we keep getting
practically interrupted
by, like, herds of deer,
and red-tail hawks come
swooping out of the sky,
and there's acorn woodpeckers
flitting amongst us.
We're shooting a scene
where it's supposed
to be ecological
devastation,
and we're getting,
like, mobbed by wildlife.
So, that's your point, right?
That, like, there's so much
nature all around us
that we don't...
We don't even acknowledge.
Yeah, I mean,
it's one of my points,
one of my many points,
but I think...
Sure.
You have... your one
of many points.
But I do, I think that,
you know,
we've been sort of trained
in part by nature documentaries
to see nature as something
that's far away
and out there...
Right.
...and it's something
that only rich people
can afford to access.
And often, that means
that we just don't have
our nature eyes on when
we're just walking
around the city,
but there's tons here.
And your philosophy is,
make more nature
everywhere we can.
Yes.
And the nice thing
about not fixating
on this sort of super-pristine
untouched nature,
is that you can't make
more of that stuff.
Mm.
You can't make more
of untouched nature.
Right.
But you can make
more nature.
You can take a place
that's denuded of species,
and you can bring that
biodiversity level up.
I read a study recently
that since 1970,
like, 60% of wildlife
has declined
in areas that we thought
were, hey, wild,
and the animals
just hanging out there.
How do we remain optimistic
when that's happening?
Well, we need to take those
declines really seriously.
But I think that
it's important to realize
that those are declines in
the numbers of each species,
not in the numbers
of species, right?
Okay.
So 60% of species
aren't extinct.
It's just many species
are on these downward trends.
Got it.
So, the bad news is,
the numbers of animals
are going down
'cause we are
squeezing them out.
Mm-hmm.
But the good news is,
is that there's still time
to turn the ship around.
There is still time
to reform our ways
and to change our ways so that
these species can come back.
How do we do that?
What... what are things
that people can do?
Well, there's a bunch
of really important
structural things
that we need to do, right?
So, we can all be super-good,
and we can all
have our bag
that we take
to the grocery store.
(LAUGHING)
The canvas bag, yeah, yeah.
The canvas bags.
But what we really
need to do
is we really need to have,
like, big, big changes
in how... in what kind
of fuels we're using,
the kind of energy mix
that we're using.
Yeah.
How we're permitting
development.
Those new roads that
you think are inevitable,
like, we can decide not
to build those new roads.
Or build them differently
or put them in different
places, or...
Yeah, right.
You know, there are big
systemic things to do.
So, I actually think that
the most important thing
that we can do
as individuals
is get a little bit
politically involved.
Mm.
Actually,
that's more important
than the whole
shopping bag thing.
I mean, we've all been
sort of trained
that the way
we can be good people
is being good consumers
and buying the right kind
of green stuff.
But I think that
it's actually better
to occasionally just feed
your kids a frozen pizza,
and then go to
the city council meeting
and make sure that
the zoning laws...
Right, right.
...in your town are conducive
to biodiversity.
It is really dire.
Situation is bad.
There's a lot of work to do.
But the message that I hope
that we can bring across
is that it isn't
too late, right?
Because if it's too late,
then people stop trying
to make a change.
Right.
The goals that are important
to me are stopping extinctions,
increasing biodiversity,
making sure that everybody
and their brother
has access to nature.
Right.
Those are goals
that are achievable, right?
And they don't involve
trying to go back in time.
It's a changing world,
it's not gonna go back
to some pristine,
pure state.
And there never
was some magical day
that everything was right
with the world.
Yeah.
We just gotta
keep figuring out
how can we make a better
world looking forward.
Yeah.
Thank you so much for coming.
I really appreciate it.
Yeah, thank you
for having me.
---
♪♪
(MAN GRUNTING)
Look around, Birch.
You've made it.
Mount Everest.
(GRUNTING)
How foolish the fellows
back home
in the urban hiking club
will feel when you regale them
with this adventure.
Forget their tawdry walks
through the city park.
(LAUGHING, SHOUTING)
(SIGHS)
This... this is real nature.
No people, no cities.
Just pure,
untrammeled wilderness.
(LAUGHS)
Mother Nature doesn't get
any more natural than this!
Actually, your idea
of what counts as nature
is all wrong.
(SCREAMING)
Talk about a cold open.
Hi, I'm Adam Conover, and this
is "Adam Ruins Everything."
♪♪
Closed Captions Provided by
truTV
So, you said
your name's Birch?
Is that a nickname or...
Pull me up!
Pull me up!
Of course.
Sorry.
(GRUNTING)
Thank you.
(SIGHING)
Now, if you will
excuse me,
I will be continuing
my Everest summit solo.
I came up here to get
away from people.
Hate to break it to you,
but Everest
is actually
way too full of people.
And this avalanche
of tourists
is turning this
majestic mountain
into a depressing dump.
(SCOFFS)
I'm no tourist.
I'm on a spiritual journey.
Summitting Mount Everest
is the pinnacle
of human achievement.
Sure, it was,
the first time.
When mountaineers
Tenzing Norgay
and Edmund Hillary
summited Mount Everest
in 1953,
it was a feat never before
achieved by humankind.
Huzzah, we've done it!
And now, no one else
ever has to do it again.
(ADAM)
But today,
budget tour companies
help over 100,000 amateurs
climb Everest every year.
Unh!
(CAMERA CLICKS)
Ha-ha, crushing Everest A-F.
(IMITATES EXPLOSION)
What?!
But he's not
seeking enlightenment,
he's just a tourist!
Yeah!
And to make matters worse,
these tourists
are total slobs!
So many climbers abandon
tents, equipment,
and other items
on their climb,
every year the mountain
accumulates
around 50 new tons of trash.
Ugh.
Dude, can we Postmates
a maid up here?
Oh, that is shameful!
I will be taking all
of my waste with me.
Yeah?
Well, don't forget
about your human waste.
Everest tourists
annually leave behind
around 26,000 pounds
of pee and poop.
And since it takes longer
for waste to disintegrate
at high altitudes, that means
this majestic mountain
is now covered
in our poop-sicles.
So much human waste
has built up over the years
that local villages'
major water sources
are now completely polluted,
and their yaks
frequently get stuck
in ponds of human poop.
I can't imagine anything
more disturbing.
Well, it gets worse.
Because Everest is also
covered in dead bodies.
This once-pristine peak
is steadily becoming
the world's tallest
frozen cemetery.
(THUNDER CRASHING)
Hundreds of people have
died on Everest.
For every ten
successful summits,
there's one dead body.
And since the temperatures
are so frigid,
they'll never decompose.
There are so many
frozen corpses on Everest,
climbers actually use them
to navigate.
Holy shit, is that a dead guy?
Tight... that means
we make a left.
But Everest isn't just
dangerous for visitors.
The indigenous Sherpas
are the ones
taking the real risks...
Mapping out routes
and securing guide ropes,
all while babysitting
these amateur alpinists.
Ah, dude, can you take
a photo of me?
(ADAM)
It's one of the deadliest
jobs on the planet.
A third of people who die
on Everest are Sherpas.
Oh, back up more...
so you can get that cloud
that looks like a...
Ahhh!
Oh!
Whoa!
He's okay.
My trash broke his fall.
This is appalling!
Not only are these
narcissistic tourists
ruining this sacred mountain,
but they're getting
people killed?
Why hasn't the government
of Nepal
limited the amount
of people who can climb?
They can't afford to.
Nepal is a very
low-income nation,
and Everest tourism
is a major industry.
Sorry, how many people
are in your tour?
200.
My girl wants a destination
wedding at the summit,
and then we're all
gonna paraglide down.
Ha!
I am nothing
like that guy!
I'm afraid you are.
I know it's your dream
to climb this sacred mountain.
But the impact that you
and others have
when you indulge
in that dream
is turning Everest into
a poop-covered trash coffin.
Oh, you're right.
I am no better
than those monsters
who picnic in national parks.
People ruin everything!
(ECHOING)
An avalanche!
See?
No matter how bad
people mess things up,
Mother Nature is still
in charge!
Come on, let's run!
Actually, so-called
natural disasters
are pretty much human-made.
Come on,
I'll show ya.
(CHUCKLES)
Ah, I wish you'd let me
fall off that cliff.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
Welcome back to
the Weather History Channel,
also known as the only channel
your dad ever watches.
Every time
a natural disaster occurs,
the news reports on it
as though it's an unstoppable
act of God.
Right, Mother Nature
could destroy us
at any moment,
and we are powerless
to prevent it.
Wrong! Tonight, we revisit
some of the most deadly
natural disasters
in recent history,
and discover that these
"acts of God"
are very much human creations.
For more on that, let's go
to our disconcertingly cheery
chief meteorologist,
Drip Dripley.
Well, howdy do,
and how are you, Adam?
Hurricane Katrina was one
monster of a mess.
1,800 people died
and 80% of the population
of New Orleans was displaced.
But I'm gonna
shock you here.
The surprising truth is,
Hurricane Katrina
was not the storm
of the century.
In fact, it may have been
as weak as a Category 1
when it hit New Orleans.
Only a Category 1?
Then why all the destruction?
Good question,
Mr. Mountain Main.
The real culprit
wasn't the storm itself,
it was our failure
to prepare for it.
Half of New Orleans
lies below sea level,
which means it relied
on these levees
to control flooding.
But the levees
were constructed
out of sand built atop
porous soil,
which made them
extremely vulnerable
to rapid erosion
during Katrina.
Whoa, wipe out!
(SINGING)
Drip!
Inappropriate!
(LAUGHING)
Sorry, Adam.
Now, these levees had been
desperately in need
of maintenance for decades.
According to an
engineering investigator...
(DOLPHIN CHIRPING)
Whoa, I should not
be allowed on television!
And this pattern
of negligence
holds across every
major natural disaster
in recent history.
For more, let's go
to the Weather History Channel's
own Mr. Science,
Hurricane Harvey.
That's my name,
and what I'm here to talk about!
Hurricane Harvey
is a textbook example
of how human choices
artificially turned
a minor hurricane
into a devastating flood!
Up until the 1960s,
Houston was naturally protected
from major flooding
thanks to its
coastal prairies,
which absorbed flood waters
before they could do
any damage.
Ooh!
But as the city expanded,
greedy developers
exploited legal loopholes
to pave over those prairies.
And worse, they didn't even
tell new residents
that they now lived
in a flood zone.
So, when Harvey hit,
the water had nowhere to go,
and 47,000 people
were displaced.
And worst of all,
my breakfast is ruined.
Back to you, Adam!
(CHUCKLING)
Harvey.
So that area only flooded
because of how humans
modified the land?
It's unbelievable!
Okay, what about
Maria, huh?
That storm was huge.
Good question!
For more on that,
let's go to our
time-traveling storm chaser,
Dan Champion,
who's on the scene
at Hurricane Maria.
Thanks, Adam!
Every time
there's a major storm,
the media sends dopes like me
to stand outside
and get rained on
for your amusement.
But the truth is,
it wasn't the wind and rain
that was responsible
for the estimated
thousands of lives lost
in Puerto Rico.
It was because
after the storm...
...the island went 84 days
without water
and 64 days
without electricity.
The corporate corruption
and government neglect
that led to those failures
was the real killer.
Back to you, Adam.
I'm going the (BLEEP) inside.
So, all those people died
and we could have
prevented it?
Yes.
But I'm afraid the problem
is much bigger than just
a failure to prepare.
Our collective impact
on the planet
has led to climate change
on such a massive scale,
it's actually
making disasters stronger.
And for more on that,
we have Dr. Michael Mann,
distinguished professor
of atmospheric science
at Penn State University.
Always a pleasure to appear
on a parody
of the Weather Channel, Adam.
And you're right,
we can say
with a great degree
of confidence
that climate change
is making hurricanes
and other weather disasters
more extreme.
Now, Michael,
how is that possible?
Explain it to me like
I'm a five-year-old
who hates science
and thinks climate change
is a hippie crack-pot
conspiracy.
When you burn fossil fuels,
you warm the atmosphere,
you warm the ocean.
A warmer atmosphere
holds more moisture,
so these storms produce
more rainfall.
For every additional
degree of warmth,
wind speeds
for the strongest storms
increase by about
10 miles per hour.
Now, that translates
to a nearly 25% increase
in the destructiveness
of these storms.
The warming also
slows down the jet stream,
so these storms stay parked
in the same spot for longer,
giving you even more rainfall
and worse flooding.
Not only that,
climate change has caused
unprecedented wildfires
in North America
in recent years.
Global warming gives you
more heat waves,
it dries out forests,
so you get larger,
more destructive wildfires.
The truth is, Birch,
human activity is making
extreme weather events
more destructive.
And if we continue
to burn fossil fuels
and put carbon pollution
into the atmosphere,
we are gonna see
worse and worse droughts,
heat waves, superstorms,
floods, and wildfires.
That's unbelievable.
Believe it.
As mighty as nature is,
our impact on the planet
is even greater.
See, this is why
we need to be protecting
and preserving our planet,
not choking it to death
with our noxious emissions!
God, I cannot wait
to get back
to pure, wild,
untrammeled nature!
(GRUNTS)
What Birch hasn't
fully absorbed yet
is that no spot on Earth
is free from human impact.
We all affect nature.
Every breath you take,
every move you make...
I'll be watching you.
Now, this is why
I love climatologists.
You folks are hilarious.
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
(SIGHING)
Finally...
pure, pristine,
unadulterated nature.
(ADAM, IN BRITISH ACCENT)
Observe the homo sapien.
He believes he is a humble,
respectful visitor in nature.
But little does he know,
his very presence on this planet
irreparably changes it.
Hey, who is talking?!
In anger, he tears
at the undergrowth,
revealing our trusty narrator.
Like all humans,
he wreaks havoc on nature
wherever he goes.
Okay, David Atten-Boring,
that is not true.
I preserve nature.
I donate to
the National Parks Foundation,
I am on the board...
The human chatters
in protest,
not realizing that even
national parks
are human-made constructions.
What?
In fact, the man who conceived
of the very idea, John Muir,
himself irreparably
altered an entire ecosystem
in American's greatest park,
Yosemite.
Ah, there he is now,
entering Yosemite
for the very first time.
My goodness!
We must preserve this pristine
and untrammeled wilderness.
But the truth is,
it wasn't untrammeled at all.
Are you gonna do that voice
for the whole time?
(IN NORMAL VOICE)
Nah, that was enough.
The Ahwahnechee People
had made their home
in the area
we now know as Yosemite
for at least 3,500 years.
But Muir didn't consider them
natural in the least.
These people are most ugly,
some altogether hideous.
They have no right place
in the landscape.
Get them out of here!
(RIFLE COCKING)
Wait, the father
of America's national parks
believed in ethnic cleansing?
Pretty much, yeah.
But what Muir
didn't realize
was the supposedly pristine
nature he found
was in fact created
by the Ahwahnechee,
because for millennia,
they had cultivated the land
by selectively pruning plants,
sowing seeds,
and setting controlled fires.
What?
But forest fires
are bad, right?
To the contrary.
Forest fires
are actually necessary
to maintain the health
of a forest.
And by conducting
controlled burns,
the Ahwahnechee
cleared undergrowth
and made space
for new plants to grow,
increasing biodiversity.
Only we can start
forest fires.
(GUN COCKING)
After they were kicked out,
the undergrowth returned,
and without regular
controlled fires,
the forest became
twice as dense,
and as more vegetation had
to compete for water, drier.
So now, instead of many
small controlled burns,
Yosemite is more prone
to rare-but-extreme wildfires.
Muir didn't preserve
Yosemite's landscape
he completely altered it.
What?!
I thought that conversation
was all about preserving nature
in its natural state...
To have as little
impact as possible.
Sorry.
Try as we might,
our species is incapable
of having no impact
on the natural world.
Everywhere we go
is affected by our presence.
Simply going on a hike
in the woods
changes the ecosystem you visit.
One study found
that hiking trails
create a corridor of impact,
wherein wildlife reacts
to human presence
up to 100 meters
on either side of the trail.
And just by traveling
from place to place,
we introduce non-native species
into new environments
all the time,
even if it's just
the tiny bacteria
and fungi on your shoes.
(BIRCH)
But people have to travel.
How am I supposed
to protect nature
if I can't even get to it?
(ADAM)
The truth is,
there quite literally
isn't a spot on Earth
that hasn't been impacted
by humanity's existence.
The Atlantic Ocean
is so crowded
with fishing boats,
shipping lines,
undersea cables
and chemical runoff,
that right whales
now effectively live
in a noisy and polluted
underwater city.
To feed our massive appetite,
humanity now breeds
so much livestock
that our animal food supply
outweighs all other
terrestrial mammals
by 14 times.
We've even changed
the air itself.
5,000 years ago
the dawn of rice farming
released so much methane
into the atmosphere
it actually thwarted
a second Ice Age.
And thanks to increased
forest clearing,
factory emissions,
electricity generation,
and transportation,
every breath we take
now contains 41% more
carbon dioxide
than it did in 1750.
The hard truth is,
human activity
is altering the Earth's
fundamental systems
on such a massive scale,
scientists believe
we've actually entered
a new geological age...
The Anthropocene.
(WOMAN)
Otherwise known
as the Age of Humans.
(ADAM)
Birch, this is Emma Marris,
a science writer
who's written extensively
about the Anthropocene.
But pure nature must
exist somewhere, right?
I've seen it in
nature documentaries.
Actually, those documentaries
are part of the problem.
They're usually filmed
as if they're in
a vast wilderness
filled with animals.
But often, they're filmed
right by the road,
and they just cut it
out of the shot.
(HORN HONKING)
What?
No!
The truth is,
the majority of the Earth
is neither totally humanized
or totally wild.
It's somewhere in between.
We've altered three-quarters
of the land on Earth.
We have dammed rivers,
we have acidified the oceans,
we have pumped the atmosphere
full of carbon dioxide,
and we have moved
plants and animals around
on a massive scale.
And our effects on the planet
threaten life on Earth.
Our impact is immense
and deeply scary.
Entire ecosystems are on
the verge of being wiped out.
And because we transformed
their homes
and turned up
the temperature,
and introduced
new predators,
many species are on
the verge of extinction.
A meteor triggered
the mass extinction
that wiped out the dinosaurs.
And unless we make
drastic changes in how we live,
we could be the next meteor.
And although
the planet will survive,
our impact will be felt
in the geological record
for eternity.
So, there's no pristine,
untouched nature to preserve.
I'm afraid not.
Well, how do I go on living
in a world like that?
Don't lose heart, Birch.
There's still so much
we can do to protect
the nature right
in our own back...
No, Adam!
Just leave me here to die.
There's nothing left
to talk about.
Man, he is taking
this hard.
Pfft.
Nature bros.
(WHISTLING THEME)
Just leave me here
to die, Adam.
What's the point of living
if there's no more nature
to protect?
No matter how I try
and minimize my impact,
it's too late!
Forest beasts and insects come!
Feast upon my pitiful
human flesh!
Return me to the earth
so that I may harm you no more.
Yikes.
Birch, you are taking this
too hard, man.
Yeah, I think
I see the problem.
Birch, if you try
to define nature
as a place that's totally
untouched by humanity,
yeah, you're not gonna
find that on this planet.
But I think you just have
the wrong definition.
Instead, you could
define nature
as anywhere
where live thrives,
anywhere where there's
multiple species interacting.
And when you do that,
something kind of
amazing happens.
This becomes just as much
a part of nature
as Yosemite is.
Even a city park
like this one
is full of diverse plants,
insects, and other species,
including humans!
We're a part
of nature too.
And yes, that means
we can't help but impact it.
But we're unique among
all these species
in that we can
understand and change
the impact we're having.
And that gives us the power
and the responsibility
to nourish and protect
the natural world.
The trends we talked
about today are troubling.
But we can slow
and even reverse them
if we act now to fight
climate change,
and to protect not just
the nature out there,
but also the nature
here in our own backyards.
And that way,
you and everyone
can have a life filled
with nature every day.
And now, if you'll excuse me,
I'm gonna do a little
urban bird watching.
(BIRD CALLING)
(GASPS)
A bufflehead?
This time of year?
Amazing.
Wow.
You know, I never
thought of it that way.
I don't have to go out
into the wilderness
to commune with nature.
It's all around me!
(LAUGHS)
Hello, anas platyrhynchos!
(DUCK QUACKING)
And hello to you,
muhlenbergia rigens.
And a heartfelt hello
to you...
homo sapiens.
Birch, you're back.
I thought you said
city hikes were beneath you
and you needed to climb
Mount Everest to "escape."
(CLEARS THROAT)
My fellow outdoors people!
Please, forgive me.
I now see the error
of my ways.
This urban park is worthy
of as much respect
as the highest peaks.
Will you accept me
back into your fold?
Uh... sure.
We're leaving now, though.
Oh!
(LAUGHS)
Oh, Adam, I can't
thank you enough.
I now feel more
in touch with nature
than I ever did before.
Would you like
to join our hike?
I would love to!
I even brought a snack.
My patented trail bologna.
Um... never mind.
Okay, haha, more for me!
Mm!
Sweet and slimy!
(CHUCKLES)
Mm!
(WHISTLING THEME)
Okay, so we're here
at Griffith Park,
which is the big park in LA.
And we've been
shooting here all day.
You keep pointing out all
these animals all around us.
Well, we keep getting
practically interrupted
by, like, herds of deer,
and red-tail hawks come
swooping out of the sky,
and there's acorn woodpeckers
flitting amongst us.
We're shooting a scene
where it's supposed
to be ecological
devastation,
and we're getting,
like, mobbed by wildlife.
So, that's your point, right?
That, like, there's so much
nature all around us
that we don't...
We don't even acknowledge.
Yeah, I mean,
it's one of my points,
one of my many points,
but I think...
Sure.
You have... your one
of many points.
But I do, I think that,
you know,
we've been sort of trained
in part by nature documentaries
to see nature as something
that's far away
and out there...
Right.
...and it's something
that only rich people
can afford to access.
And often, that means
that we just don't have
our nature eyes on when
we're just walking
around the city,
but there's tons here.
And your philosophy is,
make more nature
everywhere we can.
Yes.
And the nice thing
about not fixating
on this sort of super-pristine
untouched nature,
is that you can't make
more of that stuff.
Mm.
You can't make more
of untouched nature.
Right.
But you can make
more nature.
You can take a place
that's denuded of species,
and you can bring that
biodiversity level up.
I read a study recently
that since 1970,
like, 60% of wildlife
has declined
in areas that we thought
were, hey, wild,
and the animals
just hanging out there.
How do we remain optimistic
when that's happening?
Well, we need to take those
declines really seriously.
But I think that
it's important to realize
that those are declines in
the numbers of each species,
not in the numbers
of species, right?
Okay.
So 60% of species
aren't extinct.
It's just many species
are on these downward trends.
Got it.
So, the bad news is,
the numbers of animals
are going down
'cause we are
squeezing them out.
Mm-hmm.
But the good news is,
is that there's still time
to turn the ship around.
There is still time
to reform our ways
and to change our ways so that
these species can come back.
How do we do that?
What... what are things
that people can do?
Well, there's a bunch
of really important
structural things
that we need to do, right?
So, we can all be super-good,
and we can all
have our bag
that we take
to the grocery store.
(LAUGHING)
The canvas bag, yeah, yeah.
The canvas bags.
But what we really
need to do
is we really need to have,
like, big, big changes
in how... in what kind
of fuels we're using,
the kind of energy mix
that we're using.
Yeah.
How we're permitting
development.
Those new roads that
you think are inevitable,
like, we can decide not
to build those new roads.
Or build them differently
or put them in different
places, or...
Yeah, right.
You know, there are big
systemic things to do.
So, I actually think that
the most important thing
that we can do
as individuals
is get a little bit
politically involved.
Mm.
Actually,
that's more important
than the whole
shopping bag thing.
I mean, we've all been
sort of trained
that the way
we can be good people
is being good consumers
and buying the right kind
of green stuff.
But I think that
it's actually better
to occasionally just feed
your kids a frozen pizza,
and then go to
the city council meeting
and make sure that
the zoning laws...
Right, right.
...in your town are conducive
to biodiversity.
It is really dire.
Situation is bad.
There's a lot of work to do.
But the message that I hope
that we can bring across
is that it isn't
too late, right?
Because if it's too late,
then people stop trying
to make a change.
Right.
The goals that are important
to me are stopping extinctions,
increasing biodiversity,
making sure that everybody
and their brother
has access to nature.
Right.
Those are goals
that are achievable, right?
And they don't involve
trying to go back in time.
It's a changing world,
it's not gonna go back
to some pristine,
pure state.
And there never
was some magical day
that everything was right
with the world.
Yeah.
We just gotta
keep figuring out
how can we make a better
world looking forward.
Yeah.
Thank you so much for coming.
I really appreciate it.
Yeah, thank you
for having me.