Adam-12 (1968–1975): Season 1, Episode 8 - Log 72: El Presidente - full transcript
Malloy teases Reed about calculating the cost of a new house while their first baby is still 6 months away. In the meantime they settle a domestic dispute between arguing neighbors, help a taxi driver that was just robbed, and a local man mistaken as the President by a group of rural Mexicans. Finally, they must arrest a psychotic shooter holed up in his house.
(female dispatcher)
1-Adam-12, 1-Adam-12,
possible 459,
suspects there now.
1-Adam-12, 1-Adam-12,
a 415, man with a gun.
1-Adam-12, no warrant.
Lincoln, X-Ray, Ida 483.
1-Adam-12, a 415, fight group
with chains and knives.
Hey man,
how was vacation?
Just terrific.
But I really put a lot of
miles on that heap of mine.
Went all the way
up to Redwood Highway,
then over
to Sacramento,
up to Tahoe, down
to Vegas and back.
20,000 times 8%,
let's see...
Uh, that's not right.
Maybe I should
just take...
No, no, look, you had it
right the first time.
But, you didn't divide
by 30 years.
Now look,
if you don't divide it,
how are you gonna know
how much it is per year, huh?
I don't think either of you
guys know what you're doin'.
It seems to me that you have
to multiply 30 times 12,
and then divide
to get your right answer.
No.
Look, do I add the points in now
or do I add 'em to the 20,000?
Maybe, I should just take
this figure here and--
Are you guys playing monopoly or
trying to figure the U.S. budget?
Hi, Malloy.
No, I'm trying to figure out how
much it'll cost me to buy a house.
You wanna
buy a house?
You just finished painting
the apartment.
I thought you
were all set.
We were, but by the time
the third baby arrives,
it's gonna be
kind of crowded.
The third baby.
Aren't you rushing
things a little?
The first one isn't due
for another six months.
Oh, he's plannin' for the
future, Malloy. You know.
[all laugh]
About this house bit, Malloy, you
know it's mostly Jean's idea.
Yeah, I figured.
Women can get themselves kind of
worked up over somethin' like that.
It's not that I don't
agree with her.
I think it's
a good idea,
a house instead of
an apartment.
Last Sunday we drove out and
looked over this new development.
It's really great.
Everythin' brand-new,
and plenty of yard space
where Jean could let the kids play without
havin' to watch 'em all the time.
And it's big enough so that someday
we could even put a pool in.
Listen, you don't
have to convince me.
I think it's a fine idea.
You don't sound
too enthusiastic.
It's just that I think
you're rushing things a bit.
You know, Reed, you got
a long future ahead of you,
and one of the best ways I
know to get yourself loused up
is to get into a money hole.
In this job,
the raises don't come fast
and they don't come easy.
Yeah, that's something I'm sure
gonna have to think about.
So anyhow, if I can get the Cal-Vet
loan along with an F.H.A. or a V.A.,
and spread the whole thing
over 30 years,
I'll only have to put up $1,000
cash and the house is mine.
Start puttin' all those
loans together,
I think your monthly payments might
be more than your take-home pay.
Like, how are you
gonna eat?
All right. Now, there are only
the two of us.
I know, that's why I can't see
what you need a house for.
I've gotta plan
for the future, don't I?
(dispatcher) 1-Adam-12, 1-Adam-12.
Unknown trouble.
See the woman,
2238 St. Victor Road.
1-Adam-12, roger.
(Thelma) ...I feel the same way
about you, the day I do...
(Agatha) I don't
understand your attitude.
I certainly don't.
I know what you've
come over here--
Thelma! I came over here
to help you.
To help me!
Ha, listen, you old bag,
just you wait
till the cops get here.
Ha! The cops.
[doorbell ringing]
[Thelma exclaims]
Come in, Officers.
You come right on in.
Now then, arrest her.
Well, could you tell us
what the trouble is, please?
Oh, that Agatha.
She's hiding.
She's hiding someplace!
Oh, I just know she is.
That little sneak.
Agatha!
You come out here,
wherever you are!
Come out here!
Take it easy, ma'am,
please.
Can we have your name,
please?
Oh, certainly.
Mrs. Thelma T. Walker.
Why did you call the police,
Mrs. Walker?
Why did I call
the police?
Because she's a thief,
that's why!
Who's a thief?
Agatha's a thief.
Stole my money.
Probably stealing
my jewels right now.
Sneak.
(Malloy)
Who's Agatha?
Agatha, my neighbor
from across the hall.
Who else?
Maybe we'd better try and find her.
Is it okay if we have a look around?
Help yourself,
Officers.
What's in there?
That's just
a little closet.
Hi.
Are you Agatha?
Who else?
If it's any of your business.
It seems as if a girl can't
have any privacy anymore
without some cop busting in.
What are you doing
in the closet?
Everybody's got to be
someplace.
Would you come out
of there, please?
I'd be delighted.
Can I have your full name?
Agatha Zephyr.
Agatha R. Zephyr.
Miss or Mrs.?
So I'm a widow.
Is there some law
against it?
No, ma'am.
Mrs. Walker says you took
some money from her.
She says I took--
Thelma! I think I'm going
to bust you--
Now, ladies.
Take it easy.
Now, did she take
the money or not?
Well, not exactly money.
I'll say not exactly money.
Not exactly anything.
Mrs. Zephyr, please.
What did she take?
[door opens]
(Walker)
Hey.
What's goin' on here?
What happened?
Who are you?
Well, I'm Walker, her husband.
What's the trouble?
We got
a call from--
That's what she's trying
to steal: him.
Everyday she comes
over here
and says she's gonna
help me clean up.
All she does is drink my booze
and wait for him to come home.
Look at her.
Just look at her.
Well, just because a girl
happens to be attractive.
Fellows, sorry you went
through all this trouble.
But this is a little situation,
I think, I can handle myself.
Agatha. Thelma.
Sit down!
You've got everything under control.
If you'll excuse us, sir?
Right.
Sorry to trouble you.
Now look,
both of you.
This place is
an absolute pig pen.
It's looked like this
for a week.
I haven't had my supper
on time in all that time.
Now look. I want this place
cleaned from top to bottom.
Now you get the mops
and the buckets,
and you get the brooms.
And I don't want any fooling around.
Let's move!
You know, those two have gotta be
driving that guy out of his mind.
Oh, I don't know. It's kind of nice
to have some help with the housework.
(dispatcher) 90-27, no want.
Ida, George, Queen, 442.
[car honking]
Hey, I've been robbed!
I've been robbed! Just now!
He just robbed me.
Right around the corner.
Not two blocks from here.
Just now.
Did you see which way he went?
He was heading South down Fifth.
Get in. We'll see if
we can find him. Okay.
Hit the first tunnel
on the right.
Up two blocks.
Okay.
What happened?
I picked up this fare right up the
street here and first thing I knew,
he had a knife at my throat.
Asked for my money so I stopped.
How much did he get?
Uh, about a hundred bucks.
Can you identify him?
You bet I can.
He's wearing one of those blue
denim jackets and a cowboy hat.
Hey, that's him.
I'd know him anywhere.
(Reed) Just sit back and don't get out.
We'll handle it.
Hold it right there.
Police officer, let's go.
Now move it.
Over to the post.
Move.
Hands on the post.
Feet back and spread 'em.
Spread 'em out.
What's the matter with you guys? Can't
a guy walk down the street no more
without some bunch of cops
stopping him?
Put your left hand
behind your head.
[handcuff clicking]
I'm placing you under arrest.
You have the right to remain silent. If
you give up the right to remain silent,
anything you say can and will be
used against you in a court of law.
You have the right to speak
with an attorney
and to have an attorney
present during questioning.
If you so desire and cannot afford one,
an attorney will be appointed for you
without charge before questioning.
Do you understand each of the rights
I have explained to you?
Yeah.
Do you wish to give up
the right to remain silent?
Yeah. You got no business picking up
people just walking down the street.
Do you wish to give up the right
to speak with an attorney
and to have an attorney
present during questioning?
I don't know.
Step over to the car.
[police radio chattering]
Would you come
out of the car, sir?
(dispatcher)
Ida, George, Queen, 442.
You want me to repeat
the last question?
Nah, what's the use?
I ain't got no luck at all.
Just got off the bus not more
than two hours ago from Texas.
Figured I'd help myself
to some easy bread.
Never even got
to see the town.
Okay.
Let's go.
Two hours in town. That guy from
Texas sure didn't see much of L.A.
Yeah, maybe they ought to have residence
requirements for hold-up men.
What's that look like to you?
The Iowa State picnic.
And what is that,
a wayward bus?
(female dispatcher)
2053, yes, we're checking.
[police radio chattering]
1966. Roger.
1999, 1999.
Well, this is what I call
real service, gentlemen.
Sir?
If you'll step right over here I'll show
you right where I wanna build that fence.
We wouldn't know anything
about a fence.
We wanna talk to you about the
condition of your property.
I've sure got to fire
that gardener.
I'm not surprised
the neighbors are complaining.
No, sir, we're the ones
making the complaint.
You don't like the way
the place is kept up, either?
(Malloy) We have a few questions.
Really? About what?
That bus parked out in front
there, that belong to you?
Me? No.
Who does it belong to,
would you know?
Uh, not exactly.
How long has it been parked
there, would you know that?
Uh, not too long. What is it?
A parking violation?
Well, I'll be only too happy
to accept the citation.
Thought you said
it didn't belong to you.
Well, yes, I did, but you see I'll see to
it that the ticket is paid I assure you.
What's your name, sir?
Name, my-- Oh, Wilson
Ted Wilson's my name.
Mr. Wilson, let's all try working
together here, what do you say?
Oh, I always cooperate
with the police, always.
All right, sir. Suppose you begin
by telling us what's going on here.
E! Presidente. E! Presidente,
I'm happy to report
the tacos and frijoles
are fit for a King.
Fine, fine, fine.
El Presidente,
why you do this?
Do what?
Your policia.
You do not need them.
I don't.
We'll watch over you. Nobody will
bother you at the fiesta. Nobody.
We will protect you.
What's your name, sir?
Pepe Hernandez, a special
emissary to El Presidente Wilson.
You can go back
to Washington and D.C.
and tell them El Presidente
is in good hands.
The best.
I will finish the guacamole.
Adios.
From the beginning,
please, Mr. Wilson.
Uh, well, you see, the wife and I took
a little trip down south of the border
about three months ago.
Yes, sir, go on.
[children shouting]
E! Presidente, E! Presidente.
Viva El Presidente.
?my M) El Presidente, El Presidente,
we want to see your policies.
Policia, can we please
see your guns?
(boy #2)
Where are your cabal/as?
Uh, we don't ride horses, son.
You were saying, Mr. Wilson.
Yes. Well, we went down to Mexico three
months ago on an official visit.
Official visit?
Yes, you see I'm the president
of the Westside Boosters Club.
[children shouting] E! Presidente. E!
Presidente. Viva E! Presidente.
We decided that it might be a good idea
for Westside to have a sister city.
So we picked a small town
in Mexico about equal size,
and I went down to tender
the invitation. Understand?
I'm sure we will
if you'll just go on.
Well, the fellow that was just
here, Pepe Hernandez,
he's the town representative from down
there and he came up here to accept.
Shouldn't this be
an official city affair?
I'm afraid it's gone
far beyond that. Far beyond.
How do you mean, sir?
Number one, Hernandez and 51
youngsters arrived this morning
at 5 a.m., unannounced. Didn't
even send a postcard, nothing.
Number two, they drove up
in that bus.
Took 'em two and a half weeks,
driving day and night.
Number three and this is a problem.
They think I'm the president.
El Presidente, El Presidente,
viva El Presidente.
You see?
You are the president
of the Boosters Club.
No, no, you don't understand.
They think I'm the you-know-what
of the whole thing?
The whole thing?
The country, you know,
the U.S.A.
El Presidente, El Presidente,
viva El Presidente!
Doesn't take much
to set 'em off, does it?
No, and what's worse, they say
it would be rude to go home
before they properly honor
you-know-who.
Yes, sir, but I'm afraid if you
don't make other arrangements,
you're gonna get
some complaints.
Yes, I know, I know. Portable
lavatories in the driveway,
that tent in the front yard.
If you men would just say
it's all right,
I'm sure I can get them
to go home by 5:00 today.
Why do you say 5:00?
Because that's when my wife
threatens to divorce me.
What about that bus? It doesn't
have any license plates.
They won't be able to cross
back into Mexico without 'em.
I don't know how they
got through this side.
Ingenuity. They've sure
got ingenuity.
The license plates fell off near San Diego.
But we obey El Presidente's laws.
Carlito sits in front of the bus.
Juanito sits in the back.
Besides, they're twins.
They've got to be attached to the
outside of your bus, front and rear.
We bought the nuts and bolts. We shall
fix the license plates, Sefior Policies.
If there was some way I could
convince them they should go home
without hurting
their feelings.
El Presidente, you want us
to go home before the fiesta?
No, Sefior,
but right after the fiesta.
But why?
We wanna honor El Presidente, We don't
wish to be rude to your presidente.
The President's a very
busy man. Affairs of State.
Oh, I see what you mean. Surely, surely.
We will leave.
[Speaking Spanish]
He says by 5:00.
Will it be all right
till then?
Until 5:00, okay?
[children shouting]
E! Presidente, E! Presidente.
Viva El Presidente!
Uh, thanks, officers.
So long, Mr. President.
[children cheering]
Anyway, if I get this house, it'll
sure be a load off my mind.
No, it won't.
It'll just be the beginning.
I don't see why.
Look, now you're paying rent,
right? The landlord takes care
of taxes, insurance,
repairs, everything.
You buy the place, those all
become your problems.
What're you gonna do if the roof starts
leaking, or you get invaded by termites?
I can always borrow on the house, you
know, to pay for things like that.
Reed, you've already
borrowed on it.
How do you think you're gonna
buy it in the first place?
All I know is, it's better to own
something than to just pay rent.
(dispatcher) Correction. There's
no want on subject number one.
And if I get all these loans
strung together,
it should come out to
approximately $171.28 per month.
Approximately?
Well, I'm not sure if it's a $171.28
or $171.38, but that's pretty close.
I'd say that's pretty close.
You're only off ten cents a month.
You can't be too far wrong.
Of course, I haven't figured in the taxes
and the other charges yet, but ,um--
1-Adam-12, 1-Adam-12,
unknown trouble.
P.Rs at 3840, Bonita Sierra.
1-Adam-12. Code Two.
1-Adam-12, roger.
Do you know
this neighborhood?
Not too well.
There's an alley running behind these
houses, parallel to this street.
What do you think we've got?
I don't. Could be nothing
Could be big trouble.
We'll see if we can find
a P.R.
Are you looking for us?
Did you call the police, son?
We sure did. He shot at us. He shot at us twice.
He must be crazy or something.
All right. Now take it easy, and
tell us exactly what happened.
Who shot at you?
Mr. Slade did. He lives in
the house around the corner.
Where is he now?
He went back inside.
He's still there, I guess.
We weren't doing anything.
Me and Billy.
We were just skating down the
sidewalk like we do every day.
And all of a sudden,
he comes out on the porch,
he started yelling he was
sick and tired of us kids.
And then he started
shooting at us.
Do you know what kind
of a gun he had?
Do you know whether
it was a rifle or pistol?
It was a pistol. A big one.
All right, now. You fellas, just take it easy
and keep out of it. We'll take care of it.
You said his name was Slade?
Yes, sir. He's lived here for a long
time but we hardly ever see him.
He lives all by himself.
Is there anybody else
home here?
No, sir, our mom
went out to the market.
Okay. You guys get back up on
that front porch and stay there.
We'll be back in a minute.
Yes, sir.
What have you got, Malloy?
I'm not sure. The kids say their
neighbor took a couple of shots at 'em
from his front porch.
Well, what were they doing?
Said they were just skating down the sidewalk
and he just started blasting away at 'em.
Do you think
they're telling the truth?
There's only one way to find out.
I'm going to try to call him out.
Mr. Slade, Police Officer.
Police officers, Slade Come on out.
We wanna talk to you.
[gun fires]
Yeah. They were telling
the truth all right!
Reed, get back to the car
and sit on the radio.
You better request a sergeant
right away.
And bulletproof vests and gas
and another unit for backup.
Tell them to come in
from the south end.
Looks like we've got ourselves
a psycho.
Russo, you take Miller down the other end
of the block, so he can close it off.
And circle back through the alley. Make
sure nobody gets in from this end.
And you'd better take
these two kids with you.
They can stay with Miller at
the other end of the street.
(Russo)
Right, Malloy.
How are we doing?
The vests and gas
are on the way.
We got a psycho with a gun in a house next door.
His name's Slade.
He took two shots at a couple
of little kids and one at me.
Bill, you and Brinkman go around and
cover the back of Slade's house.
Reed and I will be here
on the front.
First check out
the across the street.
If there's anybody in there,
clear 'em out the back way.
All right, Reed.
Oh, do we go in after him now?
We wait
for the vests and gas.
We're gonna try
and do this the easy way.
Here's your vest,
Who's shooting at you?
Looks like a psycho. He took a
couple of shots at some kids, too.
How do you figure it?
We're gonna have to
flush this guy out, Sarge.
Probably won't work, but I'll have
another try at talking him out.
What about the neighbors?
Have they been evacuated?
All clear, sir.
Okay. Go to it. I'll stand by
the radio if you need anything.
Here, get a vest on.
Come on out, Slade!
You're surrounded.
Put the gun down
and come out now.
Don't shoot, Slade!
We see you.
Well, that's not gonna work. I'm
gonna put one through the window.
Reed, bring me
a couple more rounds.
[glass breaking]
Put in one more.
That'll force him out the rear so
the team back there can grab him.
Malloy, hold it. We got him.
Did any trouble?
No, he just came running out
and threw his hands up.
We'll transport him back if you want.
You guys start the paper work, huh?
Okay, we'll see you later.
Come on, partner,
let's get those kids home and start
putting this thing together.
What a place!
Yeah, clearly was a mess.
Poor guy living alone like that.
No wonder he cracked up.
Sure hope they'll be able to help him at
the hospital or wherever he winds up.
They can probably
do something for him.
Malloy?
Yeah.
Things like this, they don't
seem to get to you, do they?
Sure they get to me. But I was
thinking about those kids.
The way I figure it, Slade had his chance.
If he blew it, that's tough.
If he'd killed one of those kids,
that would have been a lot tougher.
Come on, let's go to work.
1-Adam-12, 1-Adam-12,
possible 459,
suspects there now.
1-Adam-12, 1-Adam-12,
a 415, man with a gun.
1-Adam-12, no warrant.
Lincoln, X-Ray, Ida 483.
1-Adam-12, a 415, fight group
with chains and knives.
Hey man,
how was vacation?
Just terrific.
But I really put a lot of
miles on that heap of mine.
Went all the way
up to Redwood Highway,
then over
to Sacramento,
up to Tahoe, down
to Vegas and back.
20,000 times 8%,
let's see...
Uh, that's not right.
Maybe I should
just take...
No, no, look, you had it
right the first time.
But, you didn't divide
by 30 years.
Now look,
if you don't divide it,
how are you gonna know
how much it is per year, huh?
I don't think either of you
guys know what you're doin'.
It seems to me that you have
to multiply 30 times 12,
and then divide
to get your right answer.
No.
Look, do I add the points in now
or do I add 'em to the 20,000?
Maybe, I should just take
this figure here and--
Are you guys playing monopoly or
trying to figure the U.S. budget?
Hi, Malloy.
No, I'm trying to figure out how
much it'll cost me to buy a house.
You wanna
buy a house?
You just finished painting
the apartment.
I thought you
were all set.
We were, but by the time
the third baby arrives,
it's gonna be
kind of crowded.
The third baby.
Aren't you rushing
things a little?
The first one isn't due
for another six months.
Oh, he's plannin' for the
future, Malloy. You know.
[all laugh]
About this house bit, Malloy, you
know it's mostly Jean's idea.
Yeah, I figured.
Women can get themselves kind of
worked up over somethin' like that.
It's not that I don't
agree with her.
I think it's
a good idea,
a house instead of
an apartment.
Last Sunday we drove out and
looked over this new development.
It's really great.
Everythin' brand-new,
and plenty of yard space
where Jean could let the kids play without
havin' to watch 'em all the time.
And it's big enough so that someday
we could even put a pool in.
Listen, you don't
have to convince me.
I think it's a fine idea.
You don't sound
too enthusiastic.
It's just that I think
you're rushing things a bit.
You know, Reed, you got
a long future ahead of you,
and one of the best ways I
know to get yourself loused up
is to get into a money hole.
In this job,
the raises don't come fast
and they don't come easy.
Yeah, that's something I'm sure
gonna have to think about.
So anyhow, if I can get the Cal-Vet
loan along with an F.H.A. or a V.A.,
and spread the whole thing
over 30 years,
I'll only have to put up $1,000
cash and the house is mine.
Start puttin' all those
loans together,
I think your monthly payments might
be more than your take-home pay.
Like, how are you
gonna eat?
All right. Now, there are only
the two of us.
I know, that's why I can't see
what you need a house for.
I've gotta plan
for the future, don't I?
(dispatcher) 1-Adam-12, 1-Adam-12.
Unknown trouble.
See the woman,
2238 St. Victor Road.
1-Adam-12, roger.
(Thelma) ...I feel the same way
about you, the day I do...
(Agatha) I don't
understand your attitude.
I certainly don't.
I know what you've
come over here--
Thelma! I came over here
to help you.
To help me!
Ha, listen, you old bag,
just you wait
till the cops get here.
Ha! The cops.
[doorbell ringing]
[Thelma exclaims]
Come in, Officers.
You come right on in.
Now then, arrest her.
Well, could you tell us
what the trouble is, please?
Oh, that Agatha.
She's hiding.
She's hiding someplace!
Oh, I just know she is.
That little sneak.
Agatha!
You come out here,
wherever you are!
Come out here!
Take it easy, ma'am,
please.
Can we have your name,
please?
Oh, certainly.
Mrs. Thelma T. Walker.
Why did you call the police,
Mrs. Walker?
Why did I call
the police?
Because she's a thief,
that's why!
Who's a thief?
Agatha's a thief.
Stole my money.
Probably stealing
my jewels right now.
Sneak.
(Malloy)
Who's Agatha?
Agatha, my neighbor
from across the hall.
Who else?
Maybe we'd better try and find her.
Is it okay if we have a look around?
Help yourself,
Officers.
What's in there?
That's just
a little closet.
Hi.
Are you Agatha?
Who else?
If it's any of your business.
It seems as if a girl can't
have any privacy anymore
without some cop busting in.
What are you doing
in the closet?
Everybody's got to be
someplace.
Would you come out
of there, please?
I'd be delighted.
Can I have your full name?
Agatha Zephyr.
Agatha R. Zephyr.
Miss or Mrs.?
So I'm a widow.
Is there some law
against it?
No, ma'am.
Mrs. Walker says you took
some money from her.
She says I took--
Thelma! I think I'm going
to bust you--
Now, ladies.
Take it easy.
Now, did she take
the money or not?
Well, not exactly money.
I'll say not exactly money.
Not exactly anything.
Mrs. Zephyr, please.
What did she take?
[door opens]
(Walker)
Hey.
What's goin' on here?
What happened?
Who are you?
Well, I'm Walker, her husband.
What's the trouble?
We got
a call from--
That's what she's trying
to steal: him.
Everyday she comes
over here
and says she's gonna
help me clean up.
All she does is drink my booze
and wait for him to come home.
Look at her.
Just look at her.
Well, just because a girl
happens to be attractive.
Fellows, sorry you went
through all this trouble.
But this is a little situation,
I think, I can handle myself.
Agatha. Thelma.
Sit down!
You've got everything under control.
If you'll excuse us, sir?
Right.
Sorry to trouble you.
Now look,
both of you.
This place is
an absolute pig pen.
It's looked like this
for a week.
I haven't had my supper
on time in all that time.
Now look. I want this place
cleaned from top to bottom.
Now you get the mops
and the buckets,
and you get the brooms.
And I don't want any fooling around.
Let's move!
You know, those two have gotta be
driving that guy out of his mind.
Oh, I don't know. It's kind of nice
to have some help with the housework.
(dispatcher) 90-27, no want.
Ida, George, Queen, 442.
[car honking]
Hey, I've been robbed!
I've been robbed! Just now!
He just robbed me.
Right around the corner.
Not two blocks from here.
Just now.
Did you see which way he went?
He was heading South down Fifth.
Get in. We'll see if
we can find him. Okay.
Hit the first tunnel
on the right.
Up two blocks.
Okay.
What happened?
I picked up this fare right up the
street here and first thing I knew,
he had a knife at my throat.
Asked for my money so I stopped.
How much did he get?
Uh, about a hundred bucks.
Can you identify him?
You bet I can.
He's wearing one of those blue
denim jackets and a cowboy hat.
Hey, that's him.
I'd know him anywhere.
(Reed) Just sit back and don't get out.
We'll handle it.
Hold it right there.
Police officer, let's go.
Now move it.
Over to the post.
Move.
Hands on the post.
Feet back and spread 'em.
Spread 'em out.
What's the matter with you guys? Can't
a guy walk down the street no more
without some bunch of cops
stopping him?
Put your left hand
behind your head.
[handcuff clicking]
I'm placing you under arrest.
You have the right to remain silent. If
you give up the right to remain silent,
anything you say can and will be
used against you in a court of law.
You have the right to speak
with an attorney
and to have an attorney
present during questioning.
If you so desire and cannot afford one,
an attorney will be appointed for you
without charge before questioning.
Do you understand each of the rights
I have explained to you?
Yeah.
Do you wish to give up
the right to remain silent?
Yeah. You got no business picking up
people just walking down the street.
Do you wish to give up the right
to speak with an attorney
and to have an attorney
present during questioning?
I don't know.
Step over to the car.
[police radio chattering]
Would you come
out of the car, sir?
(dispatcher)
Ida, George, Queen, 442.
You want me to repeat
the last question?
Nah, what's the use?
I ain't got no luck at all.
Just got off the bus not more
than two hours ago from Texas.
Figured I'd help myself
to some easy bread.
Never even got
to see the town.
Okay.
Let's go.
Two hours in town. That guy from
Texas sure didn't see much of L.A.
Yeah, maybe they ought to have residence
requirements for hold-up men.
What's that look like to you?
The Iowa State picnic.
And what is that,
a wayward bus?
(female dispatcher)
2053, yes, we're checking.
[police radio chattering]
1966. Roger.
1999, 1999.
Well, this is what I call
real service, gentlemen.
Sir?
If you'll step right over here I'll show
you right where I wanna build that fence.
We wouldn't know anything
about a fence.
We wanna talk to you about the
condition of your property.
I've sure got to fire
that gardener.
I'm not surprised
the neighbors are complaining.
No, sir, we're the ones
making the complaint.
You don't like the way
the place is kept up, either?
(Malloy) We have a few questions.
Really? About what?
That bus parked out in front
there, that belong to you?
Me? No.
Who does it belong to,
would you know?
Uh, not exactly.
How long has it been parked
there, would you know that?
Uh, not too long. What is it?
A parking violation?
Well, I'll be only too happy
to accept the citation.
Thought you said
it didn't belong to you.
Well, yes, I did, but you see I'll see to
it that the ticket is paid I assure you.
What's your name, sir?
Name, my-- Oh, Wilson
Ted Wilson's my name.
Mr. Wilson, let's all try working
together here, what do you say?
Oh, I always cooperate
with the police, always.
All right, sir. Suppose you begin
by telling us what's going on here.
E! Presidente. E! Presidente,
I'm happy to report
the tacos and frijoles
are fit for a King.
Fine, fine, fine.
El Presidente,
why you do this?
Do what?
Your policia.
You do not need them.
I don't.
We'll watch over you. Nobody will
bother you at the fiesta. Nobody.
We will protect you.
What's your name, sir?
Pepe Hernandez, a special
emissary to El Presidente Wilson.
You can go back
to Washington and D.C.
and tell them El Presidente
is in good hands.
The best.
I will finish the guacamole.
Adios.
From the beginning,
please, Mr. Wilson.
Uh, well, you see, the wife and I took
a little trip down south of the border
about three months ago.
Yes, sir, go on.
[children shouting]
E! Presidente, E! Presidente.
Viva El Presidente.
?my M) El Presidente, El Presidente,
we want to see your policies.
Policia, can we please
see your guns?
(boy #2)
Where are your cabal/as?
Uh, we don't ride horses, son.
You were saying, Mr. Wilson.
Yes. Well, we went down to Mexico three
months ago on an official visit.
Official visit?
Yes, you see I'm the president
of the Westside Boosters Club.
[children shouting] E! Presidente. E!
Presidente. Viva E! Presidente.
We decided that it might be a good idea
for Westside to have a sister city.
So we picked a small town
in Mexico about equal size,
and I went down to tender
the invitation. Understand?
I'm sure we will
if you'll just go on.
Well, the fellow that was just
here, Pepe Hernandez,
he's the town representative from down
there and he came up here to accept.
Shouldn't this be
an official city affair?
I'm afraid it's gone
far beyond that. Far beyond.
How do you mean, sir?
Number one, Hernandez and 51
youngsters arrived this morning
at 5 a.m., unannounced. Didn't
even send a postcard, nothing.
Number two, they drove up
in that bus.
Took 'em two and a half weeks,
driving day and night.
Number three and this is a problem.
They think I'm the president.
El Presidente, El Presidente,
viva El Presidente.
You see?
You are the president
of the Boosters Club.
No, no, you don't understand.
They think I'm the you-know-what
of the whole thing?
The whole thing?
The country, you know,
the U.S.A.
El Presidente, El Presidente,
viva El Presidente!
Doesn't take much
to set 'em off, does it?
No, and what's worse, they say
it would be rude to go home
before they properly honor
you-know-who.
Yes, sir, but I'm afraid if you
don't make other arrangements,
you're gonna get
some complaints.
Yes, I know, I know. Portable
lavatories in the driveway,
that tent in the front yard.
If you men would just say
it's all right,
I'm sure I can get them
to go home by 5:00 today.
Why do you say 5:00?
Because that's when my wife
threatens to divorce me.
What about that bus? It doesn't
have any license plates.
They won't be able to cross
back into Mexico without 'em.
I don't know how they
got through this side.
Ingenuity. They've sure
got ingenuity.
The license plates fell off near San Diego.
But we obey El Presidente's laws.
Carlito sits in front of the bus.
Juanito sits in the back.
Besides, they're twins.
They've got to be attached to the
outside of your bus, front and rear.
We bought the nuts and bolts. We shall
fix the license plates, Sefior Policies.
If there was some way I could
convince them they should go home
without hurting
their feelings.
El Presidente, you want us
to go home before the fiesta?
No, Sefior,
but right after the fiesta.
But why?
We wanna honor El Presidente, We don't
wish to be rude to your presidente.
The President's a very
busy man. Affairs of State.
Oh, I see what you mean. Surely, surely.
We will leave.
[Speaking Spanish]
He says by 5:00.
Will it be all right
till then?
Until 5:00, okay?
[children shouting]
E! Presidente, E! Presidente.
Viva El Presidente!
Uh, thanks, officers.
So long, Mr. President.
[children cheering]
Anyway, if I get this house, it'll
sure be a load off my mind.
No, it won't.
It'll just be the beginning.
I don't see why.
Look, now you're paying rent,
right? The landlord takes care
of taxes, insurance,
repairs, everything.
You buy the place, those all
become your problems.
What're you gonna do if the roof starts
leaking, or you get invaded by termites?
I can always borrow on the house, you
know, to pay for things like that.
Reed, you've already
borrowed on it.
How do you think you're gonna
buy it in the first place?
All I know is, it's better to own
something than to just pay rent.
(dispatcher) Correction. There's
no want on subject number one.
And if I get all these loans
strung together,
it should come out to
approximately $171.28 per month.
Approximately?
Well, I'm not sure if it's a $171.28
or $171.38, but that's pretty close.
I'd say that's pretty close.
You're only off ten cents a month.
You can't be too far wrong.
Of course, I haven't figured in the taxes
and the other charges yet, but ,um--
1-Adam-12, 1-Adam-12,
unknown trouble.
P.Rs at 3840, Bonita Sierra.
1-Adam-12. Code Two.
1-Adam-12, roger.
Do you know
this neighborhood?
Not too well.
There's an alley running behind these
houses, parallel to this street.
What do you think we've got?
I don't. Could be nothing
Could be big trouble.
We'll see if we can find
a P.R.
Are you looking for us?
Did you call the police, son?
We sure did. He shot at us. He shot at us twice.
He must be crazy or something.
All right. Now take it easy, and
tell us exactly what happened.
Who shot at you?
Mr. Slade did. He lives in
the house around the corner.
Where is he now?
He went back inside.
He's still there, I guess.
We weren't doing anything.
Me and Billy.
We were just skating down the
sidewalk like we do every day.
And all of a sudden,
he comes out on the porch,
he started yelling he was
sick and tired of us kids.
And then he started
shooting at us.
Do you know what kind
of a gun he had?
Do you know whether
it was a rifle or pistol?
It was a pistol. A big one.
All right, now. You fellas, just take it easy
and keep out of it. We'll take care of it.
You said his name was Slade?
Yes, sir. He's lived here for a long
time but we hardly ever see him.
He lives all by himself.
Is there anybody else
home here?
No, sir, our mom
went out to the market.
Okay. You guys get back up on
that front porch and stay there.
We'll be back in a minute.
Yes, sir.
What have you got, Malloy?
I'm not sure. The kids say their
neighbor took a couple of shots at 'em
from his front porch.
Well, what were they doing?
Said they were just skating down the sidewalk
and he just started blasting away at 'em.
Do you think
they're telling the truth?
There's only one way to find out.
I'm going to try to call him out.
Mr. Slade, Police Officer.
Police officers, Slade Come on out.
We wanna talk to you.
[gun fires]
Yeah. They were telling
the truth all right!
Reed, get back to the car
and sit on the radio.
You better request a sergeant
right away.
And bulletproof vests and gas
and another unit for backup.
Tell them to come in
from the south end.
Looks like we've got ourselves
a psycho.
Russo, you take Miller down the other end
of the block, so he can close it off.
And circle back through the alley. Make
sure nobody gets in from this end.
And you'd better take
these two kids with you.
They can stay with Miller at
the other end of the street.
(Russo)
Right, Malloy.
How are we doing?
The vests and gas
are on the way.
We got a psycho with a gun in a house next door.
His name's Slade.
He took two shots at a couple
of little kids and one at me.
Bill, you and Brinkman go around and
cover the back of Slade's house.
Reed and I will be here
on the front.
First check out
the across the street.
If there's anybody in there,
clear 'em out the back way.
All right, Reed.
Oh, do we go in after him now?
We wait
for the vests and gas.
We're gonna try
and do this the easy way.
Here's your vest,
Who's shooting at you?
Looks like a psycho. He took a
couple of shots at some kids, too.
How do you figure it?
We're gonna have to
flush this guy out, Sarge.
Probably won't work, but I'll have
another try at talking him out.
What about the neighbors?
Have they been evacuated?
All clear, sir.
Okay. Go to it. I'll stand by
the radio if you need anything.
Here, get a vest on.
Come on out, Slade!
You're surrounded.
Put the gun down
and come out now.
Don't shoot, Slade!
We see you.
Well, that's not gonna work. I'm
gonna put one through the window.
Reed, bring me
a couple more rounds.
[glass breaking]
Put in one more.
That'll force him out the rear so
the team back there can grab him.
Malloy, hold it. We got him.
Did any trouble?
No, he just came running out
and threw his hands up.
We'll transport him back if you want.
You guys start the paper work, huh?
Okay, we'll see you later.
Come on, partner,
let's get those kids home and start
putting this thing together.
What a place!
Yeah, clearly was a mess.
Poor guy living alone like that.
No wonder he cracked up.
Sure hope they'll be able to help him at
the hospital or wherever he winds up.
They can probably
do something for him.
Malloy?
Yeah.
Things like this, they don't
seem to get to you, do they?
Sure they get to me. But I was
thinking about those kids.
The way I figure it, Slade had his chance.
If he blew it, that's tough.
If he'd killed one of those kids,
that would have been a lot tougher.
Come on, let's go to work.