Adam-12 (1968–1975): Season 1, Episode 7 - Log 71: I Feel Like a Fool, Malloy - full transcript

Reed & Malloy examine domestic disputes when the sergeant catches a black eye and they are called upon to stop a domestic dispute at an ashram. Later, a liquor store owner miscommunicates a robbery call and an elderly woman is mad at a neighbor's loud music until she learns there was a deadly accident. Each time the officers think first and act second.

(female dispatcher)
1-Adam-12, 1-Adam-12,

possible 459
suspects there now.

1-Adam-12, 1-Adam-12,

a 415, man with a gun.

1-Adam-12, no warrant.
Lincoln, X-Ray, Ida 483.

1-Adam-12, a 415, fight group
with chains and knives.

Was she really
only 5'1", Sergeant?

Just go out and catch
some crooks, funnyman.

Okay, Sergeant.

Malloy? You got something
on your mind, say it.

Okay.



Maybe you should've handcuffed
the wife instead of the husband.

[people laughing]

All right, all right,
let's get to work.

How was the day off?

About 24 hours too short.

[car engine starts]

We're clean.

(dispatcher)
AH units.

Recovery in the one column.
Adam-Paul-Queen 195, recovered.

How'd the Sergeant
buy that black eye?

Family dispute.

1-Adam-12.
P.M. watch clear.

(dispatcher)
1-Adam-12, roger.

Must've been some guy to hand
one on him like that.



She was 5'1"
and a fast 102 wringing wet.

Seems she and her husband
were at each other's throats

and the Sarge had to muscle
the guy down to break 'em up.

Next thing you know the woman's
swinging from left field.

He caught one.

(Reed)
He sure did.

Family disputes. Boy, I
really don't understand them.

Now you take Jean and me,
know what we did yesterday?

We painted the bathroom.

On your day off
you painted the bathroom?

That's right.
And we had a ball, too.

You're putting me on.

(dispatcher) 1-Adam-12, 1-Adam-12.
A 415 fight, 2742 Melrose.

Code Two.

1-Adam-12. Roger.

[glass shattering]

[people exclaiming]

All right, you folks wanna break
it up and move on, please?

Hi, friend.

What's the score?

How should I know?

All right. Knock it off.
Knock it off.

I might have expected
something like this from you.

Calling the Gestapo.

Me! I'd sooner die first!

That's enough.
Both of you.

There's some things
I can't take from anybody.

How did this get started?

(Love)
I was in the middle of worship

when he came upon me
like a wild thing

and he started
ripping up the Sanctuary.

He was radiating--

Okay. Okay.
Step over here with me.

What's your name?

Krishna the Seeker.

Your real name.

That is my true name.

The one
on your birth certificate.

Norman Crane.

Do you have any I.D?

It's upstairs.

Is that where you live?

It is also my temple.

Let's hear your side of this.

Well, I arose this afternoon.

We'd had a very rewarding though
lengthy meditation last night.

You should have been there.

You could feel love amongst us
like a physical living presence.

Mmm-hmm.

You wouldn't understand.

Just get back to the problem.

Well, as I began
my meditations,

I knew that I was on the verge
of communion with infinity.

A rapport with limitless love.

I had no more than
approached the threshold,

when that creep
started summoning the unknown

with those god-awful bongo drums
of his and that hideous chanting.

Now who can meditate
under conditions like those?

Well,

I've spoken to him about it
over and over again.

Naturally, I came down here
to, uh, to reason with him.

I see.
Just wait here a minute.

What've you got?

Willis Janney. Prefers to
be called Badmah.

Padmah, you cretin.

That's enough of that.

Claims the other one broke in and started
kicking in his drums for no reason at all.

I had no more than begun
my moment of solitude.

That's the time I set
aside myself every day

to bring myself
into attunement with

the omnipresent vibrations
of ineffable love.

Love!

The key. That's all there is.

Crane, would you step
over here please?

Krishna, if you don't mind.

Now, feeling the way
you fellas do,

you ought to be able to
get along better.

It strikes me that instead
of fighting about it,

you should work out something
practical, some kind of an arrangement.

Maybe stagger your hours
of meditation

or whatever it is you do, so you
don't interfere with each other.

Yes. A practical demonstration
of the spirit of love.

Well, if you're
gonna believe him...

So what if he is a cop?

The point is
he's an unbeliever.

He knows more about it
than you do.

You and that bunch of stiffs up there
looking for love in your navel.

Silent meditation is
the only true path.

Only true path!
Only true path?

Crassness!
Crassness and stupidity.

You're sure not going to find the
true path beating on a silly bongo.

The music is
simply a focus. A focus.

Can't you get that
through your thick skull?

All right now.
That's enough.

Whatever you say to me,
I still love you.

That's the proof
of who's right.

You can't say that about me.
I love you. I love everybody.

Not the way I do.

Love? You don't even know
the meaning of the word.

Are you all right?

Yes.

Now I think for the first
time in my life,

I can appreciate
your role in society.

Well, that's something anyway.

Yes, indeed.

Somebody's got to protect us
from the rest of those kooks.

(Reed)
1-Adam-12. Clear.

(dispatcher)
1-Adam-12. Clear.

Those two back there
can't be for real.

Wait till you've
been around a while.

The world is
full of squirrels,

and some days on this job,
it seems like we get 'em all.

Like that?

If not like that,
they got other hang-ups.

I remember a girl, must have
been three, four years ago.

She almost drove
the Division crazy.

She was calling in two, three times
a week with prowler complaints.

What was it?
Some guy with a fix on her?

Not just some guy.

Her boyfriend.

They'd have a fight, she'd get
mad and get us to bust him.

Went on for months.

What finally happened?

They got married.

And then everything
was okay, huh?

I don't know. They moved out
of the Division, fortunately.

Anyway, that guy back there,
Willis Janney,

I guess he finally won
the argument, after all.

I guess so.

He gets knocked down
and refuses to press charges.

If that isn't love,
it'll do.

Well, they're still
pretty far out for me.

You think that's weird. I know a guy
who paints bathrooms on his day off.

Hey, don't knock it.
Get yourself married first.

Just can't stand to see
a happy bachelor, huh?

[car tires screeching]

Look at that!

[siren wailing]

Looks like he's
trying to lose us.

Let's go get him.

We got him. He's got
no place to go now.

Come on out of there.
Let's go!

Let's go!

Hi, fellas.

Put out a Four, Reed.
I think we can handle this.

Hope you are right.

May I see your license--

Certainly, Officer.
It's in my purse--

I'll get it. You stand
right over here, please.

Take it out of
the purse, please.

Now, Miss Wilson, what was this all about?
This race we just had.

It was fun, wasn't it?

Fun?

Real kicky. You boys
really lucked out.

If it wasn't for
this stupid dead end,

you'd never have
caught up with me.

Well, now we're gonna play
the second half of the game.

What's that?

We are gonna go to the station and
try and guess how many sections

of the vehicle code you've
violated in the last five minutes.

You cops.
I swear you're all alike.

No sense of humor.

Let's go.

(dispatcher) All units in
the vicinity and 1-Adam-12.

1-Adam-12.
211 silent, 895 Cordova.

1-Adam-12, Code Three.

[siren wailing]

500. Three blocks.

Must be that liquor store
close to the corner. Yeah.

That's them, get them!
Stop them! Shoot them!

Hold it! Police Officers.

Shoot them! Kill them!
Shoot them!

[tires screeching]

[siren wailing]

All right. Hold it!

Come out of there!

Let's go!

All right. Let's go.
Step away from the wall.

You got them!
Lousy hoods.

Your partner
should have shot them.

Would've saved
time and trouble.

Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

You be quiet.

(man) You punk. What happened?

They nearly wrecked my store.
That's what happened.

He wanted to
buy beer on credit.

Well, I wouldn't sell.
Then they got mean.

One of them kicked over a display,
accidentally, if you know what I mean.

Next minute they started
busting up things.

He's lying to his teeth.
Come on now.

I told you to button it up.
You'll get your chance.

Run 'em in.

I'll press all the charges, they will
spend the rest of their lives in jail.

Did they show you a weapon?

No.

Then they didn't
try to steal anything?

No. No.

Like I said they just
busted up the store.

Did you know you're only
supposed to use a silent alarm

in the case of
an attempted robbery?

Yeah.

I guess, I lost my head.

But somebody's gotta stop
these punks sometime.

Yes, sir, but we'll
have to report this.

On--on them?

That, too. But also the fact you
used a silent alarm unlawfully.

You're kidding!

No. I'm not kidding and
I'll tell you something else.

If my partner
had listened to you,

those kids could
all be dead now.

Maybe they'll learn they can't
go busting up a man's place

of business just because
he won't sell a few beers.

You can't blame the owner
in a way.

Six holdups
in the last year.

No wonder he
hit the panic button.

1-Adam-12. Clear.

(dispatcher)
1-Adam-12. Roger.

Reed, back there
at the liquor store,

why didn't you fire?

It didn't figure.

What do you mean
it didn't figure?

It came out a 211. The owner
sure acted like they were 211s.

I figured
we could catch them.

Suppose I'm running a liquor store and
three characters come in to rob me.

They show me a gun. I'm looking down the
muzzle of a barrel as big as a cannon.

Somehow I manage to trip the silent alarm.
Then what do I do?

With that gun staring at me, I
do exactly what they tell me.

I give them what they want
and I don't move a muscle.

And I hope
law arrives on time.

It does. Code Three.

The suspects hear the siren
and bail out of my store.

But if they've got a gun,
do I chase them?

Am I practically on their heels,
hollering like a banshee?

Heck, no, man.

I sit tight and I stay as far
away from that gun as I can.

Like I said. It didn't figure
they were holdup men, did it?

You may earn that badge yet.

What about
the liquor store owner?

That's up to
the Commission.

Like I told him, they issued the
permit for the silent alarm.

They can take it away.

(dispatcher)
1-Adam-12. 1-Adam-12.

See the woman. 415 party,
627 Regna Street.

1-Adam-12. Roger.

N[music playing]

Thank heavens,
it didn't take you long!

What's the trouble?

Over there.
Across the street.

Twice I asked her
and very nicely, mind you.

Very nicely.

And do you think
she'd turn it off?

I declare, I don't know what's
happening to the new generation.

May I have your name,
please?

Uh, n-never you mind my name!

You just go and make her
turn that thing off

and you lock her up.

My partner's going
to talk to her.

Talking is no good.
I told you.

Not 15 minutes ago
I tried that.

Oh, mercy, I do believe
she's insane.

How do you mean?

Well, not two minutes ago,
she came flying over here,

screaming and banging
on my door.

I thought she
was gonna knock it down.

What did she want?

Do you think I'd
answer my door

when a crazy person
bangs on it in the night?

Or at any time
for that matter.

Oh, dear.

Insane. That's what she is.

The nerve of that woman.

Leaving her child
with--with that thing.

I'm afraid I don't understand,
ma'am.

That insane baby-sitter.

She can't be
more than 14.

The idea.

Now you just go right over
there and you lock her up.

(Malloy)
Reed.

Excuse me, ma'am.

[knocking on door]

I can't raise anybody.
You wanna check around back?

[woman coughing]

(Karen)
Help!

[Karen gasping]

(Karen)
Please help! Help!

(Reed)
Malloy! Malloy!

Get her.
Please get her.

1-Adam-12. Requesting
an ambulance at 629 Regna.

Possible drowning.

(dispatcher)
1-Adam-12. Roger.

Miss?

Miss?

I don't know
how to swim.

We need some blankets.

I don't know
how to swim.

Come on.

Go in the house
and get us some blankets.

And turn some lights on
out here.

Turn off the music.

Ambulance is on the way.

Doesn't look good.

Pool like this should have
a fence all the way around it

so kids can't get in.

Yeah.

Cissie.

Cissie.

Cissie. Cissie.

[sobbing]

[ambulance siren wailing]

She ran outside.
I couldn't find her.

I tried to get help
but nobody would come.

Nobody would help me.

[panting]

We were having fun.

She didn't want to go to bed.

(Reed)
In here.

All right, folks. Clear back
out of the way, please.

Can you tell us anything,
miss?

Huh?

You said
she ran outside.

We were goofing around.

Dancing and playing
hide-and-go-seek.

I couldn't find her.

I heard her laughing out here.

She was standing on the edge.

And I yelled at her.

She fell in.

What's your name?

Karen.

I live two blocks from here
on Wilmont.

She'll be all right,
won't she?

You poor thing.
Of course, she will.

Now you come on
into the house with me

and we'll get you
out of these wet things.

And everything's
going to be fine.

Just fine. Now you'll see.
Now come on in.

Mrs. Stockton?

What do you want?

There are a few things we
have to know for our report.

The child's name.
Her parents.

Maybe Karen can tell us how we
can get in touch with them.

Her mother's divorced.

I'm sorry. I don't know
where she is tonight.

Uh, the child's name
is Cissie Franklyn.

Her mother. Well, her mother
goes out with men.

Uh, the rest of your
report can wait.

You wring yourself out.

I'll see if I can get
a line on Mrs. Franklyn.

Malloy.

Yeah?

She said she was glad
we got here fast.

I wonder if we were in time.

Thank you,
Mrs. Stockton.

Found her address book.

Mrs. Franklyn?

Yeah.

She was at a party. Somebody's
driving her to the hospital.

I don't think she's
going to make it, Malloy.

Cissie.

People die everyday.

ADW. Hit-run. Murder.

Most of the time
we're involved.

Somehow you learn
to live with it.

But I'll tell you something.

When it happens to a child,
you never get used to it.

Let's go get you
some dry clothes.

1-Adam-12.
Up to the station.

(dispatcher)
1-Adam-12. Roger.