Adam-12 (1968–1975): Season 1, Episode 24 - Log 172: Boy, the Things You Do for the Job - full transcript

Malloy and Reed pull over a driver for reckless driving and speeding. The driver a wealthy young spoiled gorgeous blonde tries to talk Malloy out of a ticket but fails. To Malloy's and the rest of the force dismay she develops a crush on Malloy leading to fake police calls along with expense gifts. Mac finally has to tell Malloy to solve the issue one way or another.

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(female dispatcher)
1-Adam-12, 1-Adam-12,

possible 459
suspects there now.

1-Adam-12, 1-Adam-12,

a 415, man with a gun.

1-Adam-12, no warrant.
Lincoln, X-Ray, Ida 483.

1-Adam-12, a 415, fight group
with chains and knives.

A guy I used to room with
has this ketch

and he invited me for
a three-day sail to Catalina.

Sounds like fun.
When you leavin'?

First thing in the morning.
What are you gonna do?

Oh, you know,
a little painting this



and a little painting that.

Yeah. Great way to spend
three days off,

painting.

Little close.

[tires screeching]

Doesn't look like
she's gonna stop.

I'll see
if I can change her mind.

[siren wailing]

Your driver's license,
please.

Don't tell me I did
something wrong, Officer?

[birds chirping]

Not very much.
You ran a boulevard stop.

You were doing about 50
in a 35-mile zone.

You failed to stop
when we signaled you.



And your driver's license
has expired.

[laughing] I thought you
were just putting me on.

It happens to me all the time.

[chuckling]
You know,

that's why I didn't pull over
right away,

and about
all those other things, well,

I'm taking Mistinguette
to her stylist and I'm late.

You almost hit two cars.

Oh, poo.

Screeching their brakes
like that.

Trying to scare me,
that's all.

What's your present address,
Miss Lang?

It's right there.

Number five, Winston Lane.

Do you have
a business address?

Business! Who works?

Daddy's in oil,

just dripping with it,
like they say.

Wait here, please.

What do you got?

I got a real cute chick
who knows it,

and she's trying to dazzle me
out of writing her.

Like that, huh?

Well, she is cute.

They always are.

You better run her.
The license is expired.

You're not really going to
give me a ticket, are you?

Afraid I am.

How square can you get?

[gasping]
Tell you what,

why don't
we have dinner tonight

and talk it over.

There isn't anything
to talk over.

You've gotta be kidding.

You do understand,

it was a date
I was offering you.

How can you not
wanna go out with me?

I've cited you to appear
on or before this date

at the address indicated.
Now if you'll just sign here.

What happens if I don't?

Well, I'll call a Sergeant,

he'll come out and tell you
exactly the same thing

I just did.

And if you still refuse,
we'll take you to jail.

Jail?

That's right.
It's just that simple.

You're really serious,
aren't you?

Yes, ma'am. I'm serious.

Well, then,

looks like I just better sign,
doesn't it?

Nice gal.

Yeah. Real peach.

Didn't take long
to convince her to sign.

L--l guess the word jail
has a special ring to it.

That wasn't it.

I think she just got the first
real shock of her life.

Huh?

The charm and beauty routine.
It didn't work.

[chuckling]

(female dispatcher) All units
in the vicinity and 1-Adam-12.

A 459 silent,

2211 North Moorpark.

1-Adam-12 handle Code 2.

1-Adam-12, roger.

[people chattering]

Did I forget
my pants or somethin'?

Where you been, Pete?

On days off.
What's the matter?

How do you figure it?

I mean, I don't see
anything so special about him.

Must be his gift of gab.

No, no, no,
it's the shaving lotion.

He smells pretty.

[all laughing]

No, I think it's, uh, it's something
more than that, something special

but I just can't quite
put my finger on it.

I know.

It's his baby blue eyes.

[all laughing]

Pete, how was Catalina?

It was great, but I think
maybe I should've stayed.

Hey, Reed,
did your partner cut you in?

On what?

Hey, what's with them?
I don't know.

L, uh, checked the box,
this is addressed to you.

Me?

No return address.

I wonder, who'd be
sending me somethin' here?

[sighing]
Oh, boy.

Hmm.

[whistling]
What do you got, Pete?

Hey, fellas,
you gotta look at this.

To Pete with love, Penny.

Now isn't that sweet?
[whistling]

Hey, you guys
recognize her?

The bikini's new
but it's her all right.

[all laughing]
All of her.

What's that supposed to mean?

You mean, that's the girl who's
been bugging 'em at the front desk

for three days
with, "Where's Pete?

When's he coming back
to work? Where's he live?"

[chuckling]
Talk about being hung up.

Oh, that's her
all right.

Come on, Pete,
tell us what's your secret.

(Walters) I told you, it
was his baby blue eyes.

What are you looking for?

Citation book.

Taking it back?

It's going back the same way
it came.

U.S. Mail.

Taking the easy way out, huh?

You know a better way?

Sure, deliver it yourself.

That way, you can put it
right on the line.

Tell her
how the cookie crumbles.

Reed, how do you get
so many bad ideas?

I don't think
it's such a bad idea.

Oh, boy.

What are you doing here?

Just wanted to see you, Pete.
That's all.

That's all, huh?

That's right.

You know
you're not allowed back here.

(Brinkman)
Hey, Pete,

you're on company time,
you know.

Well, it beats
making radio calls.

You just can't
come around here like this.

Oh, don't be silly,
I'm not gonna hurt anything.

You've caused
enough trouble already,

so why don't you
just be a good little girl

and go on home?

See, I've outgrown
your kind of games.

You want a bet?

Believe me, I'm not your type.

So would you please
just go away?

You're my type all right,
Pete.

You just unbend a little

and give me a chance
to prove it to you.

No chance.

You're out of your league.

As a matter of fact,
we're both out of our leagues.

So why don't we quit
while we're still ahead?

Here,
you can save me a few stamps.

1-Adam-12,
P.M. watch clear.

(female dispatcher) 1-Adam-12, P.M.
watch clear.

Talk about a gutsy girl.

I guess that's what money does
to some people.

At least
she's out of my hair now.

You think you discouraged her,
huh?

Sure.

[chuckling] Like the lady
said, "You want a bet?"

Seriously, Pete,
what do you gonna do

if she didn't
get the message?

I mean, if she keeps it up?

You're a regular ray of
sunshine, aren't you?

Hey, you're not answering
my question.

Don't I know it.

Wanna get somethin'
to eat?

No, I'd better get home.

Well, certainly is nice

to see you getting off work
on time, Malloy.

You know, I don't know
what's going on around here.

I got a feeling
you are at the bottom of it.

What's the matter, Ed?

Oh, you know,
you know darn well.

I heard that cancellation
you got on that prowler call

and you heard them give it us,
right?

Yeah, but so what,
it's your district.

Yeah. Yeah,
it's my district,

but it's your problem.

And her name
is Penelope Lang.

Come on, Ed,
one prowler call.

Three, three, pal.

Number one, somebody
lets the air out of her tires,

so she says.

Number two, somebody steals
her garden hose, so she says.

I didn't mind the first call.

And I thought the thing about the
garden hose was kind of funny.

But then we got
the prowler call,

and I really got it.

Yeah?
Yeah.

She got mad.
Can you believe it?

She got mad.

She started yellin' at me.

Said she didn't want me
to look for her prowler.

Said she was sick and tired of
the whole Police Department.

What?
Oh, yeah.

Can you believe it?

Oh, but then
it all comes out, you see.

She told the complaint board

to be sure and send
Officer Malloy.

He's the only one that
she has any confidence in.

It's, uh, getting sticky.

Ed, you should've arrested her
for making a false complaint.

Oh, yeah, I got a fat chance.

You know how hard
that is to prove.

Look, all I want is
for it to stop.

And now. Now, I don't know
what you got going with her,

but I better not
get another call

and find her looking for you.

Ed, did, uh, did she act
friendly to you at all?

What do you mean, friendly?

Well, you know,
kind of, well, interested?

Oh, interested? like in me?

Well, yeah, kind of.

Uh-uh, no. No, Malloy,
it's not gonna happen.

You can kiss your girlfriend's
problems off on somebody else,

not me!

I'm not havin' it,
you got it?

Hey, wait a minute, Ed.

Maybe you got a few ideas on how to
solve this problem for both of you.

Both of us?

It's Malloy's grave.
Let him lie in it.

I got work to do.

Work? What kind of work?

Oh, I forgot to tell you
the best part.

While I'm inside
and she's yelling at me,

some joker sideswipes
the black and white.

I only got about two hours
of reports to fill out now.

Thanks to you.

If this keeps up,

you're liable to wind up
losing a few friends.

Or my mind.

Hey, how was court
this morning?

Oh, nothing much. That
drunk driver pled guilty.

Our Miss Lang
was there, too.

No kiddin',
looking for you?

I don't think so.

She paid her ticket
and left.

What'd she have to say?

I didn't talk to her.

You mean you saw her
but she didn't see you?

L, uh,
ducked into the men's room

till after she left.

[chuckling] That's what I'd
call facing the issue.

Well, I call it
avoiding trouble, smart guy.

You know, she was staked out
on the station last night

when we went off.

I spotted her five minutes
after I drove out.

Tailing you?

I guess she wanted to
find out where I live.

Boy,
talk about goin' overboard.

Did you lose her?

Well, yeah,
but that was a problem, too.

It took me 30 minutes.

I was dizzy from driving
up and down back streets.

I finally shook her by pulling
through a drive-in theater.

Hmm, police experience
sure comes in handy, huh?

Well, 11:00.

No one's got a call
at 5 Winston Lane.

Maybe she gave up.

Optimist.

(female dispatcher) 1-Adam-12,
1-Adam-12, 507 radio.

See the man,
1216 Bushard Street.

Apartment 1401.

1-Adam-12, roger.

Loud radio.

Biggest call all night.

Let's hope
it stays that way.

What took you so long?

I called
over 15 minutes ago.

What's the problem, sir?

I told them on the phone
what was wrong.

It's that stereo music.

No, no, no,
it's on the 19th floor.

All the other tenants
are complaining.

You are the manager, sir?

The resident superintendent,
young man.

The name's Prendle,
Milton J. Prendle.

Have you talked to the party
making the noise?

I certainly have,

and I must say
she was very rude.

She said
if I wanted the noise stopped,

I should call the police,
and that's why you're here.

I called.

We'll have a talk with her.
What's the apartment number?

First, I must admonish you,
young man,

to be very discreet.

We cater to nothing
but top drawer here.

We want no problems.

What's the number, sir?

1902. A new tenant.

So, please, be tactful.

And gentlemen,

if you come back here again,

don't park out front.

It just doesn't look good.

[doorbell buzzing]

Glad he called. Gives us
a chance to practice our tact.

Hmm, I must say, Malloy,

you exercised
extremely poor judgment

by parking out in front.

How could I have been
such a fool?

I'll never live it down.

Ah, simply matter of lacking
that top-drawer quality.

Either you got it
or you don't.

N[loud music playing]

Hello!

(Penny)
Who is it?

Police.

Come on in,
be right with you.

It's about your record player,
could you turn it down?

The manager finally called,
huh?

What's that?

I said old Milton
finally called.

Oh, boy.

Here we go.

Well,

hi there.

[sighing]

We were called.

Complaints about the noise.

Well, if you want me to keep
it down, I'll just do that.

Whatever you say.

How've you been, Pete?

Miss Lang, I wonder--

Penny, call me Penny, Pete.

No, Miss Lang,

and it's Officer Malloy.

I'm a police officer,

I'm here on official business.

So? Go ahead
and do your cop thing.

[sighing]
Well,

all of this has gotta stop.

Oh, now, don't get all huffy.

I turned it down, didn't I?

You know
what I'm talking about,

the letters, the calls,
the whole thing.

How come you're living here,
Miss Lang?

Oh, because of
your silly districts.

I just moved in today.

Our districts?

Why, yes.
This building is in

your reporting district,
isn't it?

1-Adam-12.

How did you know that?

Tell you what, Pete, honey,

you come over
for dinner tomorrow

and we'll talk about it.
How's that?

Now, Miss Lang,
I wanna put this nicely.

In the first place,
it's against regulations.

We're not allowed
to fraternize.

Well now,
that's just plain silly.

Who says
what you do on your own time?

I do.

Look, I'm not interested.

Can you understand that?

I'm just not interested.

What did I ever do to you?

You're mean and nasty.

Well, Miss Lang, I'm sorry.

Penny.

But that's just the way it is.

You know,
I paid the traffic ticket.

I didn't
try to make any trouble.

And I appreciate that,
really, I do.

Now, if you just promise
not to call in anymore?

Makes you problems, huh?

Yes, it does, and you know it.

One date?

No date.

You're putting me down, Pete.

I'm sorry
if that's the way you see it,

there's nothing
I can do about it,

and there's nothing
I wanna do about it.

Now that's the way it is,
Miss Lang. Got it?

You're tough,
aren't you, Pete?

I mean, really tough.

You know,
it's positively fascinating.

Now you listen to me,
and listen good.

This act of yours

is about as subtle
as a neon sign.

First you tried to con me
out of that traffic ticket,

and when it didn't work
you got all bent out of shape.

And ever since you been making
a big deal out of it.

Now, maybe I'm the first
person in your life

that ever said "no" to you,

or maybe you're just tryin'
to get a good story

to tell at cocktail parties,

or maybe

you just don't have anything
better to do with your time,

but however
you wanna slice it,

I'm not gonna play.

See, Miss Lang,

I don't like you.

And
what's even more important,

you turn me off.

But good.

Let's go back to work.

Malloy, come on in,
will you?

I wanna talk to you
for a minute, privately.

I think
I'll get the car gassed.

I'll meet you at the pumps.
Right.

About this girlfriend of yours,
Pete, this Penelope Lang.

Oh, now,
wait just a minute, Mac.

She is not, I repeat,
not my girlfriend,

no, Wall-

Okay, if that's your story,
maybe I buy it. Maybe.

I'm tellin' you,
that's the way it is.

The way it is, Malloy,

this thing has gotten
out of hand. Way out of hand.

The Captain brought it up
this morning

at the supervisors' meeting,

and I'm telling you
he wants it stopped

right now.

Now, look, maybe you're not
encouraging this girl,

and again maybe you are,
don't realize it.

But whatever the score is,

I'm telling you,
get out from under.

It started when I gave her
a traffic citation.

The next thing I know, I get a
message to call this number.

So I call it.

...so I laid it
right on the line to her

and there'll be no more problems.
I guarantee it.

I hope you're right, Pete.

You don't need
this kind of trouble,

and neither does
the department.

Pete, come on out in back.
Somebody wants to see you,

and Sarge,
you don't wanna miss this.

[people chattering]

(Kendall)
Peter Malloy?

Yes. What is this?

Kendall's the name,
Charles Kendall.

King James Foreign Car Agency.

Well,
what do you think of her?

She's a real beaut, huh?

Would you like to explain?

Well,
there's nothing to explain.

It's yours,
all bought and paid for.

Boy, are you a lucky man!

Don't you understand,
it's a gift?

Doesn't cost you a dime.

[laughing]

You still can't
get used to the shock, huh?

Well, she said
it would be a big surprise.

It's a surprise all right.

Now, if you'll just sign here,
it's all yours.

I'm not signing anything.

Look, friend,
you don't understand.

There's no money involved.

This is just
a delivery receipt.

Now, you sign right here--
No, you don't understand.

I don't want the car.
Take it back where you got it.

Hey, look, friend,
I've got a $500 commission

comin' out of this deal.

You got a problem, friend.

[sighing]

How's the book look
for a special tomorrow night?

Well, let's take a look.

I see, 18, 20.

Yeah, I can spare you.

Put it down, will you?

Okay, Malloy,
you get the day off.

But Pete,

whatever it is
you got planned,

I hope it works.

You can count on it.

What are you gonna do?

I'm desperate.

You're gonna transfer?

Worse.

Only one solution left.

I'm just gonna have to
take her out.

Miss Lang? Penny?

Oh, this is Pete Malloy.

Yeah.

I was wondering if you were
free tomorrow night.

Great, great.

7:00?

All right.

Well, see you then.

Bye.

Boy, the things you do
for the job.

Ah.

1-Adam-12,
P.M. watch clear.

(female dispatcher) 1-Adam-12, P.M.
watch clear.

Ah, Malloy?

Yeah?

You gonna tell me about it?

About what?

Come on. Quit kidding around.
How did it go last night?

Well, how did what go?

Your date with Penny Lang.
Oh, oh.

You gonna tell me about it
or not?

There's not much to tell.

We had dinner,
caught a show,

went dancing.
Oh, she's a good dancer.

[sighing]
It was a date, you know.

You must remember
what they were like.

And that's it?

That's it.

Oh, uh, there is
one more little thing.

What?

She's not gonna be
a problem anymore.

Not at all.