According to Jim (2001–2009): Season 7, Episode 12 - The Gift Certificate - full transcript

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YES.

NOW THIS IS A SANDWICH,
MY FRIEND. (chuckles)

MOM DOESN'T WANT
HAM AND CHEESE ANYMORE.

NOW SHE WANTS SALAMI.

SALAMI IT IS.

YOU KNOW, ANDY,

WHEN YOUR WIFE'S
ABOUT TO HAVE TWINS,

IT'S LIKE YOU'RE
A SHORT-ORDER COOK 24/7.

FORGET THE SALAMI.
NOW SHE WANTS TURKEY.

TURKEY IT IS.

YOU KNOW, ANDY, YOU CAN
HELP ME HERE A LITTLE BIT.



OH, YEAH, SURE.

THAT TURKEY IS POISON-FREE.
CARRY ON.

NOW MOM WANTS BOLOGNA,

OR SHE SAYS
SHE'S GONNA GO APE CRAP.

BOLOGNA IT IS.

PREGO WANTS BOLOGNA,
PREGO GETS BOLOGNA.

(cell phone beeps)

UH-OH.
TEXT MESSAGE FROM CHERYL.

"NO SANDWICH. JUST APPLE.
APPROACHING APE CRAP."

FINE.

YOU KNOW WHAT?
THIS MAY LOOK LIKE A PAIN,

BUT IN THE END,
IT'LL ALL BE WORTH IT,

'CAUSE I'LL HAVE
TWO SCREAMING KIDS

PUKING ON ME
AT 4:00 IN THE MORNING.



YES! GOOD JOB, TROOPS.
LUNCHTIME. (laughs)

YOU KNOW, WE COULD HAVE
MADE OUR OWN SANDWICHES.

IT'S BETTER WHEN WE TRICK HIM.
SHUT IT.

♪♪♪

HEY, HOW'S YOUR MOTHER?

REALLY HUNGRY.
SHE ALMOST BIT ME.

GOOD. GOOD. GOOD. GOOD.
THAT'S GOOD.

AND THEN SHE SET
HER HAIR ON FIRE.

AH, THAT'S GREAT, HONEY.
THAT'S GREAT.

YOU'RE NOT LISTENING TO ME.

YEAH, NO, YOU CAN HAVE
FRIENDS OVER, JUST NO BOYS.

HOW MANY DAYS
ARE THERE IN APRIL?

30.

ISN'T THIS A LEAP YEAR?

DOESN'T MATTER.

ALL RIGHT.
THEN IT'S OFFICIAL...

YOUR UNCLE ANDY
IS A COMPLETE FATHEADED JERK.

YOU NEED A CALENDAR
TO KEEP TRACK OF THAT?

DO YOU REMEMBER
UNCLE ANDY'S BIRTHDAY LAST YEAR?

YEAH, MOM WAS IN FLORIDA.
YOU MADE ME BAKE A CAKE.

YES. THE CAKE...

THE FIRST DISAPPOINTMENT
OF THAT EVENING.

(Jim) YAY.

(cheering)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

(laughs) THANK YOU.

NOW WHO WANTS A PIECE...

OF THIS TRAIN WRECK?

I'M ONLY 12.
MAKE YOUR OWN CAKE.

WELL, ANDY.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YA.

OH. (laughs)

(gasps) HOLY CRAP.

A GIFT CERTIFICATE
TO SIR STEVEN B's STEAKHOUSE.

YEAH, YEAH,
IT'S... IT'S, UH, WORTH 200 BUCKS,

SO YOU JUST HAVE
TO PICK A FRIEND...

WHO LIKES STEAK...

AND GO WILD.

WOW. HMM. LET'S SEE.

(gasps) YOU'RE A FRIEND,
AND YOU LIKE STEAK.

(clicks tongue) DO I?

I REMEMBER I DO!

(laughs) AW, MAN, JIM.
(laughs)

OH, THE BEST GIFT EVER
FROM THE BEST FRIEND EVER.

AW.
AW, WHEN CAN WE GO?

OH, WE CAN GO
WHENEVER WE WANT,

BUT REMEMBER,
THIS EXPIRES IN SIX MONTHS,

SO DON'T FORGET IT.

I COULD NEVER FORGET
SOMETHING THIS GENEROUS,

NOT IN A MILLION YEARS.

THAT WAS 5 MONTHS
AND 29 DAYS AGO.

IT EXPIRES TOMORROW!

AND HE STILL
HASN'T USED IT!

MAYBE HE TOOK A DATE.

(both laughing)

NO. NO. ABSOLUTELY NOT.

I HAVE BEEN KEEPING TRACK
OF EVERY ONE OF ANDY'S MEALS

FOR THE PAST SIX MONTHS,

AND I KNOW FOR A FACT
HE HASN'T USED THAT CARD,

AND HE'S ON
A 56-DAY NO SALAD STREAK.

I CAN'T BELIEVE I JUST WASTED
$200 ON THAT JERK.

WELL, LUCKILY,
IT'S THE THOUGHT THAT COUNTS.

IT'S THE WHAT THAT WHATS?

YOUR GENEROSITY.
YOUR HEART.

YOU GIVE SOMEONE A GIFT
BECAUSE IT MAKES THEM FEEL GOOD.

NO. YOU GIVE SOMEONE A GIFT,
HONEY, TO GET A CREDIT.

THAT WAY
THEY GOTTA GET YOU A GIFT

EVEN BETTER THAN THE ONE
YOU GAVE 'EM,

AND THEN YOU'RE AHEAD

AS LONG AS YOU DIE FIRST.

BUT WHEN I GIVE SOMEONE A GIFT,
I HAVE NO EXPECTATIONS.

BABY, YOU GAVE ME
A PICTURE FRAME

MADE OUT
OF POPSICLE STICKS.

WHAT EXPECTATIONS
COULD YOU POSSIBLY HAVE?

WELL, I THINK
YOU SHOULD GIVE UNCLE ANDY

THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT.

I WOULD,

BUT HE PROBABLY WOULDN'T
USE IT FOR SIX MONTHS.

(door opens)
(Andy) HEY, EVERYBODY.

MAYBE THAT'S HIM
COMING TO ASK YOU

TO HAVE
A STEAK DINNER WITH HIM.

YOU KNOW WHAT, RUBY?
MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT.

MAYBE TONIGHT IS STEAK NIGHT.

HEY, NEW TACO PLACE
ON 5th STREET!

AW.

(laughs)

TE AMO, TACO.
TE AMO. MMM.

DO YOU HAVE ANY PLANS FOR DINNER
TOMORROW NIGHT, UNCLE ANDY?

(mouth full) MM, NO.

THURSDAYS I TEACH WATER AEROBICS
AT THE SENIOR CENTER.

(normal voice)
I'VE BEEN TRYING TO GET

SOME ALONE TIME WITH ROSE,
BUT HER HUSBAND JUST SITS THERE

GLARING AT ME
FROM BEHIND HIS OXYGEN MASK,

AS IF HE'S SOME BIG SHOT...

(deep voice)
"OOH, I'M AN EX-COP."

(normal voice) OW. MM.
IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME,

I BELIEVE THE ALAMO IS
ABOUT TO FALL TO THE MEXICANS.

RUBY,
THAT'S MY BEST FRIEND.

HE FORGOT THE MOST GENEROUS GIFT
I HAVE EVER GIVEN.

WHY DON'T YOU JUST
REMIND HIM

THAT HE HAS THE GIFT CERTIFICATE?
IT'S THE PRINCIPLE OF THE THING.

WHAT PRINCIPLE?

(scoffs) COME ON, HONEY.
WISE UP!

POINTLESS MALE PRIDE!

RUN! COME ON, CATCH UP.
COME ON, GET HIM!

THANK GOD,
A BOY TO TALK TO.

COME ON. COME ON. COME ON.
I'M GONNA GET YOU.

KYLE...
THE TV's NOT ON.

I KNOW.
I'M JUST PRETENDING.

DANG, I LOST AGAIN.

KYLE...
(sighs) YOU KNOW WHAT?

I NEED YOUR OPINION
ON SOMETHING.

LET'S SAY THAT YOU GAVE GRACIE
A REALLY NICE GIFT,

LIKE A PUPPY.

WE'RE GETTING A PUPPY?

NO. NO. LET'S JUST SAY
YOU GAVE HER A GIFT,

AND SHE PUT THIS PUPPY
IN HER DRAWER.

IF YOU DON'T GET THAT PUPPY
OUT OF THE DRAWER BY TOMORROW,

THAT PUPPY'S GONNA DIE.

IF HE DIES,
CAN WE GET A KITTY?

FOCUS!

IF I DON'T GET THAT PUPPY
OUT OF THAT DRAWER,

IT'S GONNA DIE.

WHAT SHOULD DADDY DO?

YOU GOTTA SAVE IT.
I LOVE THAT PUPPY.

I KNOW YOU DO.

I LOVE THAT PUPPY, TOO.

I'M GONNA GO
SAVE THE PUPPY!

YAY!

CHERYL, I'M GOING TO DINNER.
WATCH THE KIDS!

GRACIE!
GIVE ME BACK MY PUPPY!

SIR?
YES.

I CHECKED WITH OUR MANAGER.
SINCE YOU HAVE YOUR RECEIPT,

WE'LL BE HAPPY TO ACCEPT
YOUR GIFT CERTIFICATE.

OH, THAT'S GREAT,

BECAUSE I LICKED
ALL THE SILVERWARE ALREADY.

CAN I START YOU OFF
WITH A DRINK?

OH, I DRANK BEFORE I CAME.

AHH, LET'S SEE.

I WANT
$200 WORTH OF MEAT...

ALL KINDS OF MEAT.

WOULD YOU LIKE
TO HEAR OUR SPECIALS?

DO YOU HAVE
A $200 MEAT SAMPLER?

NO.

OKAY THEN.
I'LL HAVE THE RIB EYE STEAK,

THE PORTERHOUSE STEAK,
SOME CRAB LEGS...

OH, AND BY THE WAY,

UH, GIVE ME A HEADS-UP
WHEN I HIT 185 BUCKS.

I'M ALMOST AFRAID
TO TELL YOU THIS,

BUT ALL THOSE ENTRéES
COME WITH SALADS.

MEAT SALADS?

(groans)

ARE YOU OKAY, SIR?

FANTASTIC.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE
A DESSERT MENU?

YES.

BUT YOU'LL HAVE
TO HOLD IT FOR ME,

BECAUSE I CAN'T
LIFT MY ARMS.

(gasps)

(high-pitched voice)
OH, MY GOD.

(normal voice)
BRING 'EM ALL.

KYLE, STOP FOLLOWING ME.

I DON'T HAVE
A STUPID PUPPY!

I HEAR HIM BARKING.

YOU'RE A LIAR!

OH, BOY.
IT'S GOOD TO BE HOME.

HOW WAS YOUR DINNER?

YOU ENJOY
YOUR REHEATED MAC 'N CHEESE?

I HAD THREE STEAKS
AND A RACK OF LAMB.

YOU USED UNCLE ANDY'S
GIFT CERTIFICATE, DIDN'T YOU?

DAMN RIGHT, I DID.

$198.50...

RIGHT THERE.

BUT I THOUGHT IT WAS FOR...

HEY, I'M NO MONSTER.
I LEFT A TIP.

DON'T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT.

HE WAS NEVER GONNA
USE THAT CERTIFICATE,

AND YOU KNOW IT, NEVER!

OH, JIM,
I AM SUCH A DUMMY.

AGREED. CONTINUE.

YOU REMEMBER
THAT GIFT CERTIFICATE

YOU GAVE ME
FOR MY BIRTHDAY?

VAGUELY.

WELL, HERE'S THE THING...
I COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT IT.

I KNOW.
I'M THE BIGGEST JERK EVER.

OR IN THE RUNNING.

IT MUST HAVE FALLEN
OUT OF MY WALLET,

'CAUSE I FOUND IT IN BETWEEN
A COUPLE OF COUCH CUSHIONS,

BUT THE GOOD NEWS IS,

IT DOESN'T EXPIRE
UNTIL TOMORROW.

THAT IS GOOD NEWS!

SO ME AND MY BEST BUDDY CAN GO
EAT OURSELVES SICK ON STEAK.

THAT SOUNDS GREAT.

BUT... BUT... BUT, OH, YOU GOT
THAT AEROBICS CLASS TOMORROW.

YOU DON'T WANT TO DISAPPOINT
THOSE OLD PEOPLE.

PLEASE.

I SHOW UP ON FRIDAY,
TELL 'EM IT'S THURSDAY,

THEY DON'T KNOW
THE DIFFERENCE.

SO WHAT DO YOU SAY?

YEAH, DADDY.
WHAT DO YOU SAY?

I SAY LET'S DO IT!

I CAN'T REMEMBER THE LAST TIME
I HAD A GOOD STEAK.

DADDY, I FOUND OUR PUPPY.

GRACIE HAD HIM TIED UP
IN THE NEIGHBOR'S YARD.

♪ DOO, DOO, DOO ♪

♪ CHEW, CHEW, CHEW ♪

♪ STEAK, STEAK, STEAK ♪

HOW DO I LOOK?

LIKE A REALLY BAD FRIEND
AND A HORRIBLE ROLE MODEL.

NO, I DON'T CARE
ABOUT THAT.

THE SHIRT, THE PANTS...
DO THEY MATCH? IT'S FINE.

OH, THANK YOU, SWEETHEART.

YOU ALREADY USED UP
UNCLE ANDY'S GIFT CERTIFICATE.

WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?

I'M GONNA MAKE IT
VERY SIMPLE FOR YOU, HONEY.

I'M GONNA ENJOY
A FANTASTIC, EXPENSIVE STEAK,

AND THEN WHEN THE CHECK COMES,
I'M GONNA GO TO THE BATHROOM,

DITCH OUT
AND LEAVE THE CHECK FOR ANDY.

DADDY, THAT'S TERRIBLE!

OH, RUBY, MY SWEET RUBY.
SIT DOWN, HONEY.

LET ME
BREAK THIS DOWN FOR YOU.

I CAN EITHER GET IN TROUBLE
WITH UNCLE ANDY

AND NOT HAVE STEAK,

OR GET IN TROUBLE
WITH UNCLE ANDY

AND HAVE STEAK!

HAVE A GOOD NIGHT.

YOU KNOW...

YOU COULD SECRETLY
GIVE THE WAITER $200,

AND LET UNCLE ANDY THINK
THAT NOTHING HAPPENED.

WHY WOULD I DO THAT?

I ALREADY SPENT
200 BUCKS ON HIM.

NO, YOU SPENT $200 ON YOU.

I MIGHT NOT BE A GROWN-UP,

BUT I THINK THAT'S
THE RIGHT THING TO DO.

"THE RIGHT THING TO DO"?

WHAT DOES THAT
HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING?

YOU KNOW,
YOUR MOTHER CAN SIT THERE

AND FOLD HER LEGS
AND FOLD HER ARMS

AND GIVE ME THAT LOOK

AND TRY TO GUILT ME
INTO DOING THE RIGHT THING,

BUT DON'T THINK YOU CAN.

(gritted teeth) DAMN IT.

FINE.
I'LL DO THE RIGHT THING.

BUT IT'S THE LAST TIME!

(jazzy piano music playing)

UHH.
UHH.

I TELL YA WHAT, JIM,

IF I DIE TONIGHT,
I'LL DIE A HAPPY MAN.

I HEAR YA, ANDY.

NO, I'M SERIOUS.
I MAY DIE TONIGHT.

CAN YOU BELIEVE I FORGOT
THIS GIFT CERTIFICATE?

OHH.

IT'S ALMOST LIKE
I DON'T DESERVE THIS DINNER.

ALMOST.

YOU MUST'VE BEEN STEWING
ABOUT IT FOR MONTHS.

(sighs) WELL,
YOU KNOW WHAT, ANDY?

WHEN I GAVE YOU
THIS GIFT CERTIFICATE,

THE LOOK ON YOUR FACE
WAS WORTH THE $200,

AND NOW HAVING
THIS MEAL TONIGHT,

IT'S LIKE
IT'S ANOTHER $200.

(laughs) OH.

(gasps) WHOA, HEY.

HEY. WHOA, WAIT.

WHAT ARE YOU,
MY CARDIOLOGIST?

I WAS GONNA EAT THAT FAT!

HEY, BUDDY.
BUDDY, COME HERE.

WELL, WE'RE ALMOST OUT
OF STEAK,

BUT I KNOW THE SOUS-CHEF
KEEPS A HORSE AT HIS HOUSE.

YEAH. NO, NO, NO.
IT'S NOT THAT.

UM, LISTEN, UH,

THIS GUY I'M WITH
IS GONNA TRY TO USE

THAT GIFT CERTIFICATE
THAT I USED LAST NIGHT,

SO WHEN HE PRESENTS IT,
UH, JUST GO WITH IT, ALL RIGHT?

AND ON MY WAY OUT,
I'LL FLIP YA 200 BUCKS.

ONE OTHER THING.

HOW WOULD YOU BE SERVING
THAT HORSE TONIGHT?

WOW, WHAT A NIGHT.

(laughs)

THANK YOU.

JIM, THIS IS PROBABLY
THE MOST GENEROUS GIFT EVER.

OH, COME ON, MAN.
IT WAS NO BIG DEAL.

OH, SURE IT WAS.
YOU'RE THE CHEAPEST GUY I KNOW.

ANDY, I AM NOT CHEAP.

I'M THRIFTY.
THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.

(laughs) YEAH.
YEAH, CHEAP COSTS LESS.

THAT'S WHY YOU'RE CHEAP.
I'M THE GENEROUS ONE.

I'M NOT GONNA ARGUE
WITH YOU TONIGHT, ALL RIGHT?

BUT TRUST ME, I'M BEING
TWICE AS GENEROUS AS YOU THINK.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

WHAT, YOU REMEMBER
YOUR LAST BIRTHDAY?

I GOT YOU
THAT SATELLITE RADIO,

'CAUSE NOTHING'S TOO GOOD
FOR MY BEST BUDDY, MR. CHEAP.

(inhales deeply)

WELL, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME,

MR. CHEAP HAS TO GO
TO THE BATHROOM.

I UNDERSTAND IT'S FREE.

I MAY GO TWICE.

(laughs) OH.

HEY, PUT A ROLL OF TOILET PAPER
IN YOUR POCKET,

'CAUSE IT'S...
(high-pitched voice) FREE!

(laughs)

(laughs) YOU KNOW, ANDY,
WHILE I'M AWAY,

WHY DON'T YOU ORDER DESSERT?

ORDER WHATEVER YOU WANT.
IT'S ON ME.

EVEN IF IT GOES OVER

THE GENEROUS $200
I'VE ALREADY SPENT.

I LOVE
THIS BIG, CHEAP GUY!

YOU KNOW THE, UH,
PLAN I GAVE YOU BEFORE?

FORGET IT.

STICK THE BILL
TO MR. GENEROUS OVER HERE.

I AM THE LUCKIEST BOY
IN THE WORLD.

(blues music playing)

(laughing)

(man) THAT WAS "CADILLAC MAN,"
BY THE SACRED HEARTS.

COMING UP NEXT, FOUR HOURS
OF UNINTERRUPTED BLUES

ON THE SATELLITE RADIO NETWORK.

(laughs)

OHH, OH, I'M SO STUFFED.

I FEEL TERRIBLE.

SERVES YOU RIGHT
FOR RIPPING OFF UNCLE ANDY

AND DITCHING HIM AT DINNER.

HE CALLED ME CHEAP!

YOU ARE CHEAP.
WHY, LISTEN, MISSY...

OH, TOO FAST. TOO FAST.

WHAT THE HELL?

YOU USED MY GIFT CARD
AND THEN YOU DITCHED ME?

YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT I DID!
WHOA, TOO FAST. OH, GOD.

I HAD TO SHELL OUT 250 BUCKS,
WALK HOME,

I ALMOST GOT HIT
BY A CAR... (groans)

AND I DROPPED
MY OTHER SWANS.

HOW COULD YOU DO THAT
TO ME?

HOW COULD I DO THAT TO YOU?
HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?

WHAT DID I DO TO YOU? YOU
SPIT IN THE FACE OF MY GIFT CARD.

SO YOU USED IT
WITHOUT ME?

I RESCUED IT,
LIKE A PUPPY FROM THE DRAWER,

AND THEN I TRIED
TO DO THE RIGHT THING,

AND YOU CALLED ME CHEAP!
I AM NOT CHEAP!

OH, I'M SORRY.

THE ALTRUISTIC PHILANTHROPIST
SKIPPED OUT ON THE CHECK.

YOU...

RUBY?

UNSELFISH DO-GOODER.

(gasps)

HOW DARE YOU?

AFTER I SPENT $200
ON THAT CERTIFICATE FOR YOU

BECAUSE IT WAS YOUR BIRTHDAY.

I WANTED TO SHOW YOU
HOW MUCH YOU MEAN TO ME.

ACTUALLY, DAD...

HOW'S UNCLE ANDY'S
BIRTHDAY CAKE COMING?

REALLY GOOD.

WE'RE OUT OF BAKING SODA,
SO I USED DIET SODA.

GOOD THINKING.

WHAT DID YOU GET
UNCLE ANDY?

OH, I GOT HIM WHAT I CALL
"THE BIRTHDAY COMBO PACKAGE"...

FLASHLIGHT,

A 10-POUND CAN
OF CHOCOLATE PUDDING,

JUMPER CABLES...

DAD,
HE'S YOUR BEST FRIEND.

YOU HAVE TO GET HIM
SOMETHING MORE THAN THAT.

I DID. PICKLES.

HE'S FAMILY, DAD,
AND THAT JAR IS HALF EMPTY.

CORRECTION...

HALF FULL.

FINE. I'LL GET HIM
SOMETHING GOOD.

YOU HAD TO BE TALKED INTO
THIS PRESENT YOU STOLE FROM ME

AFTER I SO GENEROUSLY GAVE YOU
THAT SATELLITE RADIO?

IT CRACKLES
WHEN I DRIVE UNDER BRIDGES.

IT'S A GOOD GIFT, JIM,

AND IT CAME FROM MY HEART
BECAUSE I'M THE GENEROUS ONE.

NOT SO FAST...

IS THAT DADDY'S BIRTHDAY
PRESENT? SURE IS.

WHAT DID YOU GET HIM?
OH, HE IS GONNA LOVE IT.

I GOT HIM A MOOSE
THAT POOPS CANDY,

A NAKED LADY PEN

AND JUMPER CABLES.

FINE. I'LL GET HIM
SOMETHING GOOD.

I THINK I KNOW
WHAT THE PROBLEM IS HERE.

I THINK I DO, TOO.

OHH.
OHH.

IT'S YOUR FAULT.

ME? WHAT DID I DO?

YOU FORCED US
TO BE GENEROUS.

WE WOULD HAVE BEEN
PERFECTLY HAPPY

WITH THE GIFTS
THAT WE PLANNED FOR EACH OTHER,

BUT YOU HAD TO STICK
YOUR LITTLE NOSE IN IT.

ANDY, DO YOU STILL HAVE
THAT CANDY-POOPING MOOSE?

IF YOU STILL HAVE
THAT PUDDING.

COME ON OVER HERE
AND GIVE ME A BIG HUG.

I JUST CAN'T MOVE, JIM.
SOMETHING'S GONNA POP.

WELL, THEN
LET'S JUST HOLD HANDS.

AHH.

OHH.
OHH.

OH, OH, I TASTED A
LITTLE BIT OF THAT. YEAH.

AHH.

YOU TWO ARE CRAZY.

DO SOMETHING ABOUT HER, JIM.

SHE'S RUINING OUR MOMENT.

WHAT CAN I SAY, RUBY?

YOU'RE GROWING UP,
BUT YOU'RE NOT YOUR MOTHER YET,

SO I FORBID YOU
TO ACT LIKE HER

UNTIL YOU HAVE YOUR OWN
GROWN-UP MAN TO MANIPULATE.

YEAH. RUIN HIS LIFE.
STAY THE "H" OUT OF OURS.

HOLD ON A SECOND.

YOU GOTTA MAKE THIS RIGHT.

ANDY, ARE YOU FREE
TOMORROW NIGHT?

IS EVERYTHING OKAY
OVER HERE?

KEEP IT COMIN'
TILL ALL THIS MONEY'S GONE.

HEY, WHAT DO WE DO
IF SHE CAN'T COVER THIS?

SNEAK OUT THE BATHROOM.
(laughing)

(laughing)

YOU WANT A PIECE, HONEY?
CAN'T HAVE IT.

(growls)