Acapulco H.E.A.T. (1998–…): Season 1, Episode 20 - Code Name: Blood Ties - full transcript
Tonight on
"Acapulco H.E.A.T."...
- ♪ Oh can you feel it
♪ Burning inside
♪ Yeah
♪ Sweat
♪ Dripping down my spine
♪ Making it hazy
♪ Wet
♪ Fingers touching mine
♪ Making me crazy
♪ I'm on the street
♪ I feel the heat
♪ Deep
♪ In the darkest night
♪ I feel the motion
♪ Keep
♪ All my love alive
♪ Come to the ocean
♪ I'm on the street
♪ I feel the heat
- See? I told you
we wouldn't be late.
- We are late, ten minutes late.
- Ten minutes is not late.
Two hours is late.
Two hours?
Why show up at all?
- Look, they haven't even come
out yet, so get off my case.
- I'm not on your case,
I just like to be on time,
that's all.
- Well, the trouble
with being punctual
is that there's nobody
there to appreciate it!
- Is that a quote from one of
your parole officers?
- My father.
- Oh, it makes sense.
If you're gonna rob a bank,
perfect timing is essential.
- He was not a bank robber.
He was a cat burglar.
- Hey, Tommy, Kat.
- Brett!
Ha ha!
How you been?
- I could tell you,
but then I'd have to kill you.
Guys, I want you to meet
the love of my life, Tina Cobb.
- Hey, how you doing?
- Nice to meet you.
- Tina.
- Yeah.
Hey, nice tie.
I love that.
- Oh...
- Hey, guys!
- How are you?
- Marcos?
- Yeah!
- Marcos?
- Oh, my gosh,
what are you doing here?
- Woo!
What are you doing out, man?
Hey!
- Look at you, man!
- Look at you!
Come on, it's...
Hey, Tina, how you doing?
It's margarita time.
Come on, we got three years of
catching up to do.
Oh, man.
- I'm such a big guy, who knows?
We'll have a great time.
We'll cruise around in the limo,
we'll drink piña coladas,
dance, eat, the whole enchilada.
Thank you, but no thank you.
Is he always like that?
- Only when he's in love.
You're right.
He is always like that.
- Brett, Daddy
wants me to call him.
Be right back.
- So much for thinking
we ditched
the great Senator Edward Cobb.
- Not your favorite person,
I gather.
- Pompous jerk who thinks
I'm after his daughter's money.
- I wonder if you would
accompany me.
- Who are you?
- Please.
Do as I say or I'll
be forced to shoot you.
- She's not in our room
or the lobby.
- So?
- Weird.
- Why is that weird?
- It's not like Tina
to just take off.
- Well, maybe her father
asked her to do something,
you know, important.
- Yeah, like, dump me
and come home to daddy.
- He really hates you
that much, huh?
- More.
- I'm sure she hasn't run off.
She loves you too much.
- Spoken like a true
French chick.
- Chick?
- I think mademoiselle was
the word she was looking for.
Absolutely, mademoiselle,
it's one of my favorite words,
I use it all the time.
In fact, if you have
dinner with me tonight...
- Give it a rest, Romeo.
I'll be at the boutique.
I hope I see you again soon.
- See, now, that figures.
I play Prince Charming,
she blows me off.
You ignore her,
she goes gaga over you.
- It's a secret with
French women.
You let them do all the talking.
- It's not just true with
French women.
- Hey, you looking
to start a war here?
- Only if you show up
on time for it.
- I'm gonna check out the hotel,
see if I can track down Tina.
- We'll go with you.
Just like old times, eh?
- Yeah, you could say that.
- Yeah.
- She's not in the room.
- The doorman says he
thinks he saw Tina
leaving with some guy.
- What'd he look like?
- He doesn't remember.
- It must be a mistake.
Like I said, Tina wouldn't
just take off like that.
You're not telling me something.
I gotta know now.
What is it?
- He says Tina
wasn't leaving willingly.
- She's been kidnapped.
- Hey, now, don't jump
to conclusions.
We don't know that yet,
not for sure.
- It makes sense...
Senator Cobb's a very rich man,
and very rich men who have kids
are faced with that reality
every day of their lives.
- Even so, it's too early
to call it a kidnapping.
I mean, there hasn't
been any ransom calls yet.
- Yeah, man, he's right.
Before we push
the panic button, let's...
Let's get the people together,
we'll go search the whole town.
- I'll call Nicole and Joanna
and tell them to meet us.
Oh, in the meantime, that
picture of Tina you showed us,
get it Xerox'd.
It'll save us a lot
of time and questions.
- Have you seen this girl?
Do you know this girl?
- Do you know this girl?
- Hey, I'm melting.
You wanna go get a drink,
beer or soda or something?
- I think we should
keep looking.
- Am I that much of a turnoff?
- What?
- Well, you know, I
keep knocking at your door,
you keep acting like
nobody's home.
- Perhaps you should
knock on another door, hmm?
- Marcos, yo.
Do me a favor.
My fiancé's missing and
you're hitting on Nicole.
- Why, is that a problem, bro?
- I'd be happier if you waited
until after we found Tina.
- Hi.
Any word from anyone?
- Not yet.
Don't worry, we'll find her.
- I wish I had your confidence.
- Before I forget, the hotel
left you a message.
Senator Cobb called.
He wants to know why
Tina hasn't returned his calls.
He said you're to call
him or else.
- Right.
Just what I need,
to tell
him his darling daughter's
been kidnapped.
- You can use our phone
if you like.
- Thanks, but I like to
do my bleeding in private.
- Well, I know you don't
need this.
- Gin.
Well...
That's 8,000 pesos you owe me.
- Take it out in trade.
- You don't mind paying off my
debts, do you, Chiquita?
- Please...
Call my father.
He's rich, he'll
pay whatever you ask.
- What do you say, Ernesto?
Should we shoot her first
and then call her daddy?
- Lay off her, Ricardo.
He thinks he's a comedian.
Nobody's gonna hurt you.
- One more
and I break my record.
And then you're gonna have
dinner with me, remember?
- I never said that.
- My Uncle Eli
built a pyramid once.
- Uncle Zack,
Uncle Bob, Uncle Eli.
How many uncles do you have?
- Eight.
Counting both sides of
the family and...
11 aunts.
- Oh.
Apparently, birth control is not
a high priority in your family.
- Aunt Rose says it's on
account of the long winters.
- Aunt Rose?
- Uncle Eli's second wife.
- Now, why didn't I
think of that?
So Uncle Eli
was what, an engineer?
- Mm-mm, milkman.
- Wait a minute.
Why would a milkman want to
build a pyramid?
- Oh, he didn't.
Aunt Rose tricked him into it.
- Why?
- Well, Uncle Eli
saved milk bottles.
- Milk bottles?
- Yes.
Their whole garage
was full of them.
Aunt Rose had just bought
this new car, you see,
and winter was coming
and she wanted to park...
- Joanna.
Cut to the chase.
What about the pyramid?
- Oh.
Aunt Rose bet Uncle Eli he
couldn't build a pyramid
out of milk bottles
in the backyard,
and then she could
park her car, in the garage.
- You guys look like you're
enjoying yourselves.
- Hey, bro, any news?
- Would you care if there was?
- Of course I would care.
What kind of
dumb question is that?
- The kind a poor man's Casanova
like you should understand.
Hey, whoa...
Hold it right there, man.
Maybe we should finish this
conversation somewhere else.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa...
Bad idea, right?
Bad idea, huh?
Come on, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Just chill out,
just chill out, it's okay.
Okay, um...
Look, just...
Just give him a
little rest, huh, you know?
- Yeah.
- He's got barbed wire just
chewing up his guts right now.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah...
- Yeah...
All right.
- Well, well.
You're just the lowlife
I'm looking for.
- You sure didn't waste
any time getting here, Senator.
- Well, I got on the first
plane as soon as I learned
you dragged my
daughter down here.
- I didn't drag Tina anywhere.
She came willingly.
- Oh.
I won't believe that for a
minute, not one second.
Listen, no daughter of mine
would go and
pick a loser like you.
Hey, hey, sonny, come back here.
Don't you dare walk
away while I'm talking.
- Then quit yelling.
- Well, I would...
As soon as you tell me
what you've done with
my daughter, Tina.
- Done?
What do you think
I've done with her?
- God knows, kidnapped her?
Maybe you even killed her
for all I know.
- You're crazy.
Why would I kill
someone I'm in love with?
- For her money, what else?
Look, you knew that Tina had
made out a new will
leaving everything to you.
- That's a lie.
- Baloney!
Her lawyer said that she did
it because you had threatened
to dump her if she didn't...
Don't you...
- Go to hell, Senator.
- Hey, look!
You see that?
He hit me.
Little bastard.
- Wait.
- You hit a United States senator?
- I didn't hit him.
I almost did.
Wouldn't you if he accused
you of murdering his daughter?
- Yeah, probably, but you know,
it wouldn't make
it any less stupid.
Uh-oh.
We got company.
- Arrest him.
- For what?
- Assault.
- Get me out, will you?
- No bail?
What are you talking about?
- Senator Cobb nixed it.
- He can't do that.
This is Mexico, not the U.S.
- When you have enough money
and political clout,
you can do anything, anywhere.
Attacking a senator?
Are you out of your mind?
- I didn't hit him.
Whose side are you on anyway?
- Hey.
- Yours.
Now chill out.
- That's right.
Going ballistic's not gonna help
'cause the senator's
holding all the aces.
Look, Marcos is working on
his Uncle Gomez.
His wife's brother is the chief
of police and you'll hopefully
be able to persuade him
to intercede on her behalf
and we'll bail you outta here.
- I got a roommate named Rocko
who thinks I remind him
of his girlfriend.
- Good luck.
- Hey, girls.
- Oh, man!
I almost had you.
Hey, not bad for a guy whose
only exercise lately
has been warming
the seat of a limo.
- I thought you owned
the company.
- I do, but my cousin,
who I hired to work for me
took off on me at
the last minute,
I was stuck
for a driver, you know.
- Uh-huh.
- Hey.
Any word on Tina or Brett?
- Nothing.
Weird, don't you think?
- What?
That we've heard
nothing from the kidnappers.
- Yeah.
I was thinking the same thing.
- If she was kidnapped.
- Well, what else?
Well, do you know
something that we don't?
- No.
I was wondering if there are
other alternatives.
- Like what?
- I don't know.
But what if Senator Cobb
is right
and Brett is somehow involved?
- Involved?
How?
- I don't know.
- Take a guess.
- Well, call me suspicious, but
it's possible, you know,
that maybe Brett had something
to do with her disappearance.
- What?
- What, are you,
out of your French mind?
- Hey, Brett wouldn't
murder anybody.
- Hey, I didn't say murder.
- No, no, no,
Brett was a partner, okay?
Now, I trust him with my life
and I have on many occasions.
- I know that, but I also know
that sometimes, people change.
Now, I'm not saying...
- No way.
- Okay.
- Here's a thought.
Maybe the kidnappers called
or sent a ransom note
to the senator's
home in San Diego,
or maybe his office
in Washington.
- And he hasn't
been notified yet.
Good call, Joanna.
Why don't you go check it out?
Listen...
Brett didn't have anything to do
with Tina's disappearance.
That you can take to the bank.
- Okay.
I tell you, Ernesto,
we're not
getting paid enough money.
Kidnapping's a dangerous
business.
We should be
getting at least twice,
maybe three times the amount
he's giving us.
- But we aren't
really kidnappers.
- You tell that to the stinking
judge if we're caught.
No, amigo.
Next time we see him, I'm gonna
tell him we want more money.
Lots more.
Or we'll cut her throat.
- Come on now.
Behave yourself.
Let me in.
All right.
Now we're getting somewhere.
Bingo.
- Capitan Moreno.
I'm here to see
the yankee prisoner.
On your feet, señor.
- Where are we going?
- That depends.
Me?
I think we should get
the hell out of here.
- Marcos?
Man, am I glad to see you.
- Somehow,
I though you would be.
Here, eat this.
- Soap?
Are you nuts?
Why?
- 'Cause we're missing a very
important item
that's vital to your escape.
- Like what?
- The keys.
Hurry up, something's
wrong with the prisoner!
If I hadn't have known,
I thought you'd
have flipped out myself.
- I did.
Have you ever eaten
a full bar of soap?
- Okay, let's have it.
How'd you pull this off?
- Bottom line, one of my
cousins is an actor
on the Mexican soaps.
Plays a cop.
- Man, I'm a jerk,
thinking you didn't care or...
Forgive me?
- On one condition, bro.
- Name it.
- When you come to Mexico City,
you rent one of my limos.
- You got it, amigo.
- All right.
- Hey, colonel.
What can we do for you?
- I should arrest you, huh?
- For what?
- For helping your American
friend to break out of jail.
- Brett's broken out of jail?
- When?
Or is it a government secret?
- That's very funny.
- Hey, seriously,
we had nothing to do with it.
- Do not act so innocent,
I know it was you.
And when I can prove it,
I will arrest all of you.
- C-c-colonel, I swear,
it was...
- Mr. Richardson is
a wanted man.
We will find him.
If he tries to resist,
he will be shot.
Is that clear?
Come on, let's go.
Hey, don't go away.
"Acapulco H.E.A.T."
will be back in a moment.
- You guys are crazy.
You know that?
The cops are talking
about shooting you on sight.
- They gotta find me first.
- Yeah, I'm stashing him away
with my uncle Ignacio.
Mr. gypsy, we call him.
The way that guy gets around,
it'd be easier to find
the invisible man.
- Good call, man, but I sleep
with my eyes open,
'cause Colonel Tapia
is really ticked.
- Who cares?
Without Tina, my life
is one big fat zero anyway.
I'm just glad you guys
believe in me.
Be a real drag to go this alone.
- Well, that's something you
don't ever have to worry about.
We're here for you.
Always.
Any news on Tina?
- Nothing.
We know some of
Marcos' relatives,
we got this whole town covered.
Not even a trace of her.
Where the hell
did she disappear to?
- Well, she didn't fly
out of here
and she didn't leave by boat,
at least not in her own name.
I checked all the airlines
and crew ship passenger lists.
Nothing.
- Well, I guess
we gotta face it.
She really was kidnapped.
- Then why haven't the
kidnappers demanded any ransom?
I checked Senator Cobb's phone
records from San Diego and D.C.
and then ran 'em past
my FBI friend
and he says no
one's contacted them.
Curiouser and curiouser,
said the cat to Alice.
- You want curious?
Brett said Senator Cobb
told him he flew down
as soon as he
heard Tina was missing.
- So?
- It's true, he did.
But why did he?
I mean, why didn't he...
- Joanna, this isn't gonna be,
like, one of your long-winded
stories, is it?
- No.
But I can easily make
it one if you'd like.
- Just...
give me the punchline, okay?
- Okay, but it won't
make any sense.
Flight reservations.
- What about them?
- See?
I told you...
- Joanna!
Just...
Okay, okay.
The senator's secretary
in San Diego made reservations
before Tina was even missing.
- Before?
- Yeah, it's kinda weird,
don't you think?
- Yeah.
Very weird.
- Senator Cobb's
reservations to Puerto Vallarta
were made two days before
Tina even disappeared.
- Which was two days
before Brett and Tina
even arrived, right?
- Mm-hmm.
- Son of a gun.
He must have found out
they were eloping
and planned to fly
down and stop the wedding.
- Yeah, but why didn't he?
I mean, what changed his mind?
- Good question.
One I plan on asking him
next time I see him.
- Oh, I never thought
fresh air could smell so good.
- Sorry, but...
You have to be locked up.
Ricardo, he make me...
- I know, I know it's
not your fault, Ernesto.
You've been very kind to me
and I appreciate it.
If you let me go, I'll tell
my father how nice you've been.
He's a very generous man, he'll
give you a lot of money if you...
- I thought I told you
to keep her inside.
- Yes, but she wants...
- Next time, just
do as I say, you got it?
- Okay, okay.
- You didn't have to hit him.
- Shut up.
- What's the big deal?
I just wanted some fresh air!
- I don't care what you wanted.
You might be used to getting
your way with dear daddy,
but your little dimples?
They don't mean nothing to me.
Now go back inside
and shut your face up.
You got it?
Ernesto, we got
a change of plans.
- Like what?
- Like we're kidnapping
her for real.
- Are you loco?
- Yes, man.
I am one million dollars loco!
That's the price the senator's
gonna have to pay
if he wants his precious
little daughter back alive.
- No, I... I'm not...
- What do you mean no?
- I'm no kidnapper.
Not for real.
- You sure about that?
- Very sure.
- You won't change your mind?
- Never.
- Man.
That's too bad.
- Where's Ernesto?
- Ever heard of Pancho Villa?
- The Mexican revolutionary?
- Ernesto just joined his gang.
- Pancho Villa is dead.
- Well, you are a bright girl.
And if you don't
want to hook up with him,
you are gonna keep your
pretty little face shut.
You do exactly what I tell you.
You got that?
- It's done, amigos.
Meet me at the shack.
- Psst!
Hey!
You buy t-shirt?
- No.
- No?
Porque?
Hey!
You buy t-shirt?
I sell you cheap.
- No, thank you.
- Maybe I'll buy one
for my sister.
She's always nagging
me to send her something.
- Oh, well, just take 'em all.
My treat.
- Hey.
I guess it works, huh?
- Gimme that.
- Ha ha ha!
What are you doing here, man?
- Are you crazy?
Do you want
the cops to shoot you?
- Anything would be better than
being holed up in a shack.
Besides, no
one will recognize me.
I mean, you didn't.
- Here's someone who will.
- Hey, Senator.
Look like you
just had a bill vetoed.
- Aren't you Tommy,
a friend of Brett?
- Yeah.
- Look, do you have a VCR?
- Yes, I do.
- I want your people
to watch this.
- Daddy.
Please help me.
If you don't, they'll kill me.
- New deal, Senator.
One million
American dollars cash
or I will blow your spoiled
little baby's brains out.
One more thing.
I'll call you and tell you
where to leave the money.
- Well, at least now we can make
contact with the kidnappers.
It's a start.
- It's more like an end.
- Senator, I know how you feel.
At least I would if Tina were
my daughter, but...
Gotta think positive.
- Tommy's right.
We'll get her back no matter
what it takes.
- It's you.
Look, all of this is my fault.
- Why do you say that?
- Look, if you know
something that we don't...
- Does this have anything to do
with why you reserved a flight
down here before
Tina was kidnapped?
- You want to tell us about it?
- You see...
I'm the one that had Tina
kidnapped in the first place.
Acapulco H.E.A.T.
will be right back.
- I knew I couldn't
stop Tina from marrying you,
at least not by ordering
her not to,
so I had to find another way.
- Even if it meant
scaring the pants off her?
- Look, I was desperate.
I couldn't
think of any other way,
short of having you murdered.
- Thanks for nothing.
- Look, regardless of what you
might think of me, all of you,
I did what I thought
was best for my daughter.
- Best for you, you mean.
You know...
You and people
like you make me sick.
You're so used to power trips,
to ruling other people's lives,
that it never dawns on you that
everyone has the right
to make their own choices,
to decide for themselves
what they will
do and will not do.
- Well, that's easy
for you to say.
But wait 'til you
have a child of your own,
a person that you love more
than life itself,
and you're about to
see her throw her life away,
then, then you'll feel
differently, believe me.
- That's a cop-out
and you know it.
- Cat's right.
Millions of parents don't like
what their kids
are doing or gonna do.
But they don't try
to kidnap 'em.
- There's something
I don't understand.
How did you think Tina would
feel when she found out later
what you'd done?
I mean, do you really
think she'd forgive you?
- I wasn't even intending
to tell her.
I thought that Brett here
would just take off once Tina
was gone and he realized he
couldn't get the money.
- When are you gonna
get it through your fat head
that I was never after
her money?
- Then I was going to pretend
to pay the ransom and let Tina
think that the man she loved
had run out on her.
- That's it.
- Wait a minute, wait a minute,
man, I want to whack out this
bastard, too,
but it's not
gonna get Tina back.
Now, listen.
These guys you paid
to take your daughter away,
where'd they stash her away.
Do you know?
- No, no.
No.
I'll just have to pay the
ransom and hope and pray to God
that the kidnappers will
keep their word
and return
my little Tina safely.
- I wouldn't count on that,
Senator.
Better you let us
try and find her first.
- Well, how do you intend
to do that?
I mean, you haven't been
able to find her up to now.
- Up to now, we didn't
have the videotape.
- You got something?
- Maybe.
When I roll the tape
and she starts talking,
listen to the background noises,
see if you
can identify anything.
- Daddy, please help me.
If you don't, they'll kill me!
- New deal, Senator.
One million
American dollars cash,
or I will blow your spoiled...
- Hear anything familiar?
- Did I hear
the sound of the surf?
- You did.
- So she's somewhere
near the beach.
- Except that
doesn't do us much good,
'cause there are miles and
miles of beaches.
- Yeah, but only one
is in the flight pattern.
Here, I'll block out
everything but that.
- The airport.
- Bingo.
- Joanna...
You're a genius.
- About time certain people
around here realized that.
- What?
- Let's fan out.
Surround the place.
- As soon as we're all
in position, I'll move in
and find out how many of
them there are.
Inside, I mean.
- Oh, I knew that Navy SEAL
training would come in handy
someday.
- Get out of here.
The closest he
ever came to a seal
was cleaning out the tank
at SeaWorld.
- What would a Puerto-Vallartan
cab driver know about SeaWorld?
- I can see now why
the coalition decided
to shut down
Acapulco H.E.A.T.
- If we're all through with our
David Letterman routines,
could we get on with this?
- Okay, Captain Bligh.
Let's do it.
All right.
Keep your cards.
- There, I'm done.
- What do you think, guys?
- Get away from me.
Want me to call Delgardo?
Get away from me!
- No, don't go, no!
- You do that again,
you stupid bastard,
and I'm gonna
shoot your cojones off.
- Hey!
- How did you guys find me?
Uh, thank Aero Mexico for that.
- And Joanna.
Thank God you're safe.
- I'm not safe.
There's no safe places.
- There is now.
- Look at that.
Isn't it great?
- Well, it's nice to look at.
I know it feels good.
But great's depending on
who you're all wrapped up in.
- Just because your wrappings
are as interchangeable
as your trucks doesn't
mean it isn't great for them.
They're getting married.
They're gonna be together,
they're gonna start a family.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I don't think my uncle would
agree with you.
- You have an uncle?
- That's right.
Yeah, yeah.
You're not the only
one with famous uncles
that spout out hometown wisdom.
- What was he famous for?
- Eating.
- That doesn't make him smart.
- Hey, the amount
of food he ate,
he had to be
brilliant to pay for it.
He once ate 41 hot dogs
in one sitting.
- My Uncle Leon ate 72 pancakes.
- With mustard,
relish and onions.
- Maple syrup and butter.
- And buns.
- With sausage patties.
- Four quarts of beer.
- Two gallons of cider.
- I don't believe you.
- Have I ever lied to you
about any of my relatives?
I have opened up my entire
family to help you get through
those difficult times
when you needed
that little something extra.
What do you think about that?
- I still don't believe you.
- Were you telling the truth?
- Mostly.
- Me too.
That's... That's pretty
close enough for friends.
Did I tell you that I think it's
great about Brett and Tina?
- I ever tell
you about my uncle?
"Acapulco H.E.A.T."
will be right back.
Brett's gonna miss you
guys so much, now I know why.
- I don't know how to
thank you guys.
- Me neither.
- And that goes triple for me.
- Then don't try.
- I want you guys just to send
us some photos of the wedding.
- Okay.
It's a deal.
- Okay, I'll see you two
at the gate.
- Think you'll ever
forgive your future in-law?
- I honestly don't know.
- It's gonna take a lot of work
on all our parts, and time,
but hopefully going home
and having the wedding there
will be a start.
- You'll work it out, I'm sure.
- Thanks.
- Now, don't be a stranger, you.
- I promise.
- Thanks again for everything.
- Yeah.
- Adios, Amigo.
- Take care.
- Eh...
- Always.
- Thanks.
- I gotta know something.
Why don't you like me?
- I do like you.
- Then why don't you go to
Mexico City with me?
- The truth?
- Yeah.
- I'm engaged.
- Get out.
To who?
Now, you see, I knew it.
You were putting me on,
weren't you?
- No.
- Well, then, to who, then?
- His name is Zack.
- Zack... Who the hell is Zack?
- Joanna's favorite uncle.
He's a wonderful man.
He builds pyramid
out of milk bottles.
- I thought that was Uncle Eli!
- Bye!
"Acapulco H.E.A.T."...
- ♪ Oh can you feel it
♪ Burning inside
♪ Yeah
♪ Sweat
♪ Dripping down my spine
♪ Making it hazy
♪ Wet
♪ Fingers touching mine
♪ Making me crazy
♪ I'm on the street
♪ I feel the heat
♪ Deep
♪ In the darkest night
♪ I feel the motion
♪ Keep
♪ All my love alive
♪ Come to the ocean
♪ I'm on the street
♪ I feel the heat
- See? I told you
we wouldn't be late.
- We are late, ten minutes late.
- Ten minutes is not late.
Two hours is late.
Two hours?
Why show up at all?
- Look, they haven't even come
out yet, so get off my case.
- I'm not on your case,
I just like to be on time,
that's all.
- Well, the trouble
with being punctual
is that there's nobody
there to appreciate it!
- Is that a quote from one of
your parole officers?
- My father.
- Oh, it makes sense.
If you're gonna rob a bank,
perfect timing is essential.
- He was not a bank robber.
He was a cat burglar.
- Hey, Tommy, Kat.
- Brett!
Ha ha!
How you been?
- I could tell you,
but then I'd have to kill you.
Guys, I want you to meet
the love of my life, Tina Cobb.
- Hey, how you doing?
- Nice to meet you.
- Tina.
- Yeah.
Hey, nice tie.
I love that.
- Oh...
- Hey, guys!
- How are you?
- Marcos?
- Yeah!
- Marcos?
- Oh, my gosh,
what are you doing here?
- Woo!
What are you doing out, man?
Hey!
- Look at you, man!
- Look at you!
Come on, it's...
Hey, Tina, how you doing?
It's margarita time.
Come on, we got three years of
catching up to do.
Oh, man.
- I'm such a big guy, who knows?
We'll have a great time.
We'll cruise around in the limo,
we'll drink piña coladas,
dance, eat, the whole enchilada.
Thank you, but no thank you.
Is he always like that?
- Only when he's in love.
You're right.
He is always like that.
- Brett, Daddy
wants me to call him.
Be right back.
- So much for thinking
we ditched
the great Senator Edward Cobb.
- Not your favorite person,
I gather.
- Pompous jerk who thinks
I'm after his daughter's money.
- I wonder if you would
accompany me.
- Who are you?
- Please.
Do as I say or I'll
be forced to shoot you.
- She's not in our room
or the lobby.
- So?
- Weird.
- Why is that weird?
- It's not like Tina
to just take off.
- Well, maybe her father
asked her to do something,
you know, important.
- Yeah, like, dump me
and come home to daddy.
- He really hates you
that much, huh?
- More.
- I'm sure she hasn't run off.
She loves you too much.
- Spoken like a true
French chick.
- Chick?
- I think mademoiselle was
the word she was looking for.
Absolutely, mademoiselle,
it's one of my favorite words,
I use it all the time.
In fact, if you have
dinner with me tonight...
- Give it a rest, Romeo.
I'll be at the boutique.
I hope I see you again soon.
- See, now, that figures.
I play Prince Charming,
she blows me off.
You ignore her,
she goes gaga over you.
- It's a secret with
French women.
You let them do all the talking.
- It's not just true with
French women.
- Hey, you looking
to start a war here?
- Only if you show up
on time for it.
- I'm gonna check out the hotel,
see if I can track down Tina.
- We'll go with you.
Just like old times, eh?
- Yeah, you could say that.
- Yeah.
- She's not in the room.
- The doorman says he
thinks he saw Tina
leaving with some guy.
- What'd he look like?
- He doesn't remember.
- It must be a mistake.
Like I said, Tina wouldn't
just take off like that.
You're not telling me something.
I gotta know now.
What is it?
- He says Tina
wasn't leaving willingly.
- She's been kidnapped.
- Hey, now, don't jump
to conclusions.
We don't know that yet,
not for sure.
- It makes sense...
Senator Cobb's a very rich man,
and very rich men who have kids
are faced with that reality
every day of their lives.
- Even so, it's too early
to call it a kidnapping.
I mean, there hasn't
been any ransom calls yet.
- Yeah, man, he's right.
Before we push
the panic button, let's...
Let's get the people together,
we'll go search the whole town.
- I'll call Nicole and Joanna
and tell them to meet us.
Oh, in the meantime, that
picture of Tina you showed us,
get it Xerox'd.
It'll save us a lot
of time and questions.
- Have you seen this girl?
Do you know this girl?
- Do you know this girl?
- Hey, I'm melting.
You wanna go get a drink,
beer or soda or something?
- I think we should
keep looking.
- Am I that much of a turnoff?
- What?
- Well, you know, I
keep knocking at your door,
you keep acting like
nobody's home.
- Perhaps you should
knock on another door, hmm?
- Marcos, yo.
Do me a favor.
My fiancé's missing and
you're hitting on Nicole.
- Why, is that a problem, bro?
- I'd be happier if you waited
until after we found Tina.
- Hi.
Any word from anyone?
- Not yet.
Don't worry, we'll find her.
- I wish I had your confidence.
- Before I forget, the hotel
left you a message.
Senator Cobb called.
He wants to know why
Tina hasn't returned his calls.
He said you're to call
him or else.
- Right.
Just what I need,
to tell
him his darling daughter's
been kidnapped.
- You can use our phone
if you like.
- Thanks, but I like to
do my bleeding in private.
- Well, I know you don't
need this.
- Gin.
Well...
That's 8,000 pesos you owe me.
- Take it out in trade.
- You don't mind paying off my
debts, do you, Chiquita?
- Please...
Call my father.
He's rich, he'll
pay whatever you ask.
- What do you say, Ernesto?
Should we shoot her first
and then call her daddy?
- Lay off her, Ricardo.
He thinks he's a comedian.
Nobody's gonna hurt you.
- One more
and I break my record.
And then you're gonna have
dinner with me, remember?
- I never said that.
- My Uncle Eli
built a pyramid once.
- Uncle Zack,
Uncle Bob, Uncle Eli.
How many uncles do you have?
- Eight.
Counting both sides of
the family and...
11 aunts.
- Oh.
Apparently, birth control is not
a high priority in your family.
- Aunt Rose says it's on
account of the long winters.
- Aunt Rose?
- Uncle Eli's second wife.
- Now, why didn't I
think of that?
So Uncle Eli
was what, an engineer?
- Mm-mm, milkman.
- Wait a minute.
Why would a milkman want to
build a pyramid?
- Oh, he didn't.
Aunt Rose tricked him into it.
- Why?
- Well, Uncle Eli
saved milk bottles.
- Milk bottles?
- Yes.
Their whole garage
was full of them.
Aunt Rose had just bought
this new car, you see,
and winter was coming
and she wanted to park...
- Joanna.
Cut to the chase.
What about the pyramid?
- Oh.
Aunt Rose bet Uncle Eli he
couldn't build a pyramid
out of milk bottles
in the backyard,
and then she could
park her car, in the garage.
- You guys look like you're
enjoying yourselves.
- Hey, bro, any news?
- Would you care if there was?
- Of course I would care.
What kind of
dumb question is that?
- The kind a poor man's Casanova
like you should understand.
Hey, whoa...
Hold it right there, man.
Maybe we should finish this
conversation somewhere else.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa...
Bad idea, right?
Bad idea, huh?
Come on, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Just chill out,
just chill out, it's okay.
Okay, um...
Look, just...
Just give him a
little rest, huh, you know?
- Yeah.
- He's got barbed wire just
chewing up his guts right now.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah...
- Yeah...
All right.
- Well, well.
You're just the lowlife
I'm looking for.
- You sure didn't waste
any time getting here, Senator.
- Well, I got on the first
plane as soon as I learned
you dragged my
daughter down here.
- I didn't drag Tina anywhere.
She came willingly.
- Oh.
I won't believe that for a
minute, not one second.
Listen, no daughter of mine
would go and
pick a loser like you.
Hey, hey, sonny, come back here.
Don't you dare walk
away while I'm talking.
- Then quit yelling.
- Well, I would...
As soon as you tell me
what you've done with
my daughter, Tina.
- Done?
What do you think
I've done with her?
- God knows, kidnapped her?
Maybe you even killed her
for all I know.
- You're crazy.
Why would I kill
someone I'm in love with?
- For her money, what else?
Look, you knew that Tina had
made out a new will
leaving everything to you.
- That's a lie.
- Baloney!
Her lawyer said that she did
it because you had threatened
to dump her if she didn't...
Don't you...
- Go to hell, Senator.
- Hey, look!
You see that?
He hit me.
Little bastard.
- Wait.
- You hit a United States senator?
- I didn't hit him.
I almost did.
Wouldn't you if he accused
you of murdering his daughter?
- Yeah, probably, but you know,
it wouldn't make
it any less stupid.
Uh-oh.
We got company.
- Arrest him.
- For what?
- Assault.
- Get me out, will you?
- No bail?
What are you talking about?
- Senator Cobb nixed it.
- He can't do that.
This is Mexico, not the U.S.
- When you have enough money
and political clout,
you can do anything, anywhere.
Attacking a senator?
Are you out of your mind?
- I didn't hit him.
Whose side are you on anyway?
- Hey.
- Yours.
Now chill out.
- That's right.
Going ballistic's not gonna help
'cause the senator's
holding all the aces.
Look, Marcos is working on
his Uncle Gomez.
His wife's brother is the chief
of police and you'll hopefully
be able to persuade him
to intercede on her behalf
and we'll bail you outta here.
- I got a roommate named Rocko
who thinks I remind him
of his girlfriend.
- Good luck.
- Hey, girls.
- Oh, man!
I almost had you.
Hey, not bad for a guy whose
only exercise lately
has been warming
the seat of a limo.
- I thought you owned
the company.
- I do, but my cousin,
who I hired to work for me
took off on me at
the last minute,
I was stuck
for a driver, you know.
- Uh-huh.
- Hey.
Any word on Tina or Brett?
- Nothing.
Weird, don't you think?
- What?
That we've heard
nothing from the kidnappers.
- Yeah.
I was thinking the same thing.
- If she was kidnapped.
- Well, what else?
Well, do you know
something that we don't?
- No.
I was wondering if there are
other alternatives.
- Like what?
- I don't know.
But what if Senator Cobb
is right
and Brett is somehow involved?
- Involved?
How?
- I don't know.
- Take a guess.
- Well, call me suspicious, but
it's possible, you know,
that maybe Brett had something
to do with her disappearance.
- What?
- What, are you,
out of your French mind?
- Hey, Brett wouldn't
murder anybody.
- Hey, I didn't say murder.
- No, no, no,
Brett was a partner, okay?
Now, I trust him with my life
and I have on many occasions.
- I know that, but I also know
that sometimes, people change.
Now, I'm not saying...
- No way.
- Okay.
- Here's a thought.
Maybe the kidnappers called
or sent a ransom note
to the senator's
home in San Diego,
or maybe his office
in Washington.
- And he hasn't
been notified yet.
Good call, Joanna.
Why don't you go check it out?
Listen...
Brett didn't have anything to do
with Tina's disappearance.
That you can take to the bank.
- Okay.
I tell you, Ernesto,
we're not
getting paid enough money.
Kidnapping's a dangerous
business.
We should be
getting at least twice,
maybe three times the amount
he's giving us.
- But we aren't
really kidnappers.
- You tell that to the stinking
judge if we're caught.
No, amigo.
Next time we see him, I'm gonna
tell him we want more money.
Lots more.
Or we'll cut her throat.
- Come on now.
Behave yourself.
Let me in.
All right.
Now we're getting somewhere.
Bingo.
- Capitan Moreno.
I'm here to see
the yankee prisoner.
On your feet, señor.
- Where are we going?
- That depends.
Me?
I think we should get
the hell out of here.
- Marcos?
Man, am I glad to see you.
- Somehow,
I though you would be.
Here, eat this.
- Soap?
Are you nuts?
Why?
- 'Cause we're missing a very
important item
that's vital to your escape.
- Like what?
- The keys.
Hurry up, something's
wrong with the prisoner!
If I hadn't have known,
I thought you'd
have flipped out myself.
- I did.
Have you ever eaten
a full bar of soap?
- Okay, let's have it.
How'd you pull this off?
- Bottom line, one of my
cousins is an actor
on the Mexican soaps.
Plays a cop.
- Man, I'm a jerk,
thinking you didn't care or...
Forgive me?
- On one condition, bro.
- Name it.
- When you come to Mexico City,
you rent one of my limos.
- You got it, amigo.
- All right.
- Hey, colonel.
What can we do for you?
- I should arrest you, huh?
- For what?
- For helping your American
friend to break out of jail.
- Brett's broken out of jail?
- When?
Or is it a government secret?
- That's very funny.
- Hey, seriously,
we had nothing to do with it.
- Do not act so innocent,
I know it was you.
And when I can prove it,
I will arrest all of you.
- C-c-colonel, I swear,
it was...
- Mr. Richardson is
a wanted man.
We will find him.
If he tries to resist,
he will be shot.
Is that clear?
Come on, let's go.
Hey, don't go away.
"Acapulco H.E.A.T."
will be back in a moment.
- You guys are crazy.
You know that?
The cops are talking
about shooting you on sight.
- They gotta find me first.
- Yeah, I'm stashing him away
with my uncle Ignacio.
Mr. gypsy, we call him.
The way that guy gets around,
it'd be easier to find
the invisible man.
- Good call, man, but I sleep
with my eyes open,
'cause Colonel Tapia
is really ticked.
- Who cares?
Without Tina, my life
is one big fat zero anyway.
I'm just glad you guys
believe in me.
Be a real drag to go this alone.
- Well, that's something you
don't ever have to worry about.
We're here for you.
Always.
Any news on Tina?
- Nothing.
We know some of
Marcos' relatives,
we got this whole town covered.
Not even a trace of her.
Where the hell
did she disappear to?
- Well, she didn't fly
out of here
and she didn't leave by boat,
at least not in her own name.
I checked all the airlines
and crew ship passenger lists.
Nothing.
- Well, I guess
we gotta face it.
She really was kidnapped.
- Then why haven't the
kidnappers demanded any ransom?
I checked Senator Cobb's phone
records from San Diego and D.C.
and then ran 'em past
my FBI friend
and he says no
one's contacted them.
Curiouser and curiouser,
said the cat to Alice.
- You want curious?
Brett said Senator Cobb
told him he flew down
as soon as he
heard Tina was missing.
- So?
- It's true, he did.
But why did he?
I mean, why didn't he...
- Joanna, this isn't gonna be,
like, one of your long-winded
stories, is it?
- No.
But I can easily make
it one if you'd like.
- Just...
give me the punchline, okay?
- Okay, but it won't
make any sense.
Flight reservations.
- What about them?
- See?
I told you...
- Joanna!
Just...
Okay, okay.
The senator's secretary
in San Diego made reservations
before Tina was even missing.
- Before?
- Yeah, it's kinda weird,
don't you think?
- Yeah.
Very weird.
- Senator Cobb's
reservations to Puerto Vallarta
were made two days before
Tina even disappeared.
- Which was two days
before Brett and Tina
even arrived, right?
- Mm-hmm.
- Son of a gun.
He must have found out
they were eloping
and planned to fly
down and stop the wedding.
- Yeah, but why didn't he?
I mean, what changed his mind?
- Good question.
One I plan on asking him
next time I see him.
- Oh, I never thought
fresh air could smell so good.
- Sorry, but...
You have to be locked up.
Ricardo, he make me...
- I know, I know it's
not your fault, Ernesto.
You've been very kind to me
and I appreciate it.
If you let me go, I'll tell
my father how nice you've been.
He's a very generous man, he'll
give you a lot of money if you...
- I thought I told you
to keep her inside.
- Yes, but she wants...
- Next time, just
do as I say, you got it?
- Okay, okay.
- You didn't have to hit him.
- Shut up.
- What's the big deal?
I just wanted some fresh air!
- I don't care what you wanted.
You might be used to getting
your way with dear daddy,
but your little dimples?
They don't mean nothing to me.
Now go back inside
and shut your face up.
You got it?
Ernesto, we got
a change of plans.
- Like what?
- Like we're kidnapping
her for real.
- Are you loco?
- Yes, man.
I am one million dollars loco!
That's the price the senator's
gonna have to pay
if he wants his precious
little daughter back alive.
- No, I... I'm not...
- What do you mean no?
- I'm no kidnapper.
Not for real.
- You sure about that?
- Very sure.
- You won't change your mind?
- Never.
- Man.
That's too bad.
- Where's Ernesto?
- Ever heard of Pancho Villa?
- The Mexican revolutionary?
- Ernesto just joined his gang.
- Pancho Villa is dead.
- Well, you are a bright girl.
And if you don't
want to hook up with him,
you are gonna keep your
pretty little face shut.
You do exactly what I tell you.
You got that?
- It's done, amigos.
Meet me at the shack.
- Psst!
Hey!
You buy t-shirt?
- No.
- No?
Porque?
Hey!
You buy t-shirt?
I sell you cheap.
- No, thank you.
- Maybe I'll buy one
for my sister.
She's always nagging
me to send her something.
- Oh, well, just take 'em all.
My treat.
- Hey.
I guess it works, huh?
- Gimme that.
- Ha ha ha!
What are you doing here, man?
- Are you crazy?
Do you want
the cops to shoot you?
- Anything would be better than
being holed up in a shack.
Besides, no
one will recognize me.
I mean, you didn't.
- Here's someone who will.
- Hey, Senator.
Look like you
just had a bill vetoed.
- Aren't you Tommy,
a friend of Brett?
- Yeah.
- Look, do you have a VCR?
- Yes, I do.
- I want your people
to watch this.
- Daddy.
Please help me.
If you don't, they'll kill me.
- New deal, Senator.
One million
American dollars cash
or I will blow your spoiled
little baby's brains out.
One more thing.
I'll call you and tell you
where to leave the money.
- Well, at least now we can make
contact with the kidnappers.
It's a start.
- It's more like an end.
- Senator, I know how you feel.
At least I would if Tina were
my daughter, but...
Gotta think positive.
- Tommy's right.
We'll get her back no matter
what it takes.
- It's you.
Look, all of this is my fault.
- Why do you say that?
- Look, if you know
something that we don't...
- Does this have anything to do
with why you reserved a flight
down here before
Tina was kidnapped?
- You want to tell us about it?
- You see...
I'm the one that had Tina
kidnapped in the first place.
Acapulco H.E.A.T.
will be right back.
- I knew I couldn't
stop Tina from marrying you,
at least not by ordering
her not to,
so I had to find another way.
- Even if it meant
scaring the pants off her?
- Look, I was desperate.
I couldn't
think of any other way,
short of having you murdered.
- Thanks for nothing.
- Look, regardless of what you
might think of me, all of you,
I did what I thought
was best for my daughter.
- Best for you, you mean.
You know...
You and people
like you make me sick.
You're so used to power trips,
to ruling other people's lives,
that it never dawns on you that
everyone has the right
to make their own choices,
to decide for themselves
what they will
do and will not do.
- Well, that's easy
for you to say.
But wait 'til you
have a child of your own,
a person that you love more
than life itself,
and you're about to
see her throw her life away,
then, then you'll feel
differently, believe me.
- That's a cop-out
and you know it.
- Cat's right.
Millions of parents don't like
what their kids
are doing or gonna do.
But they don't try
to kidnap 'em.
- There's something
I don't understand.
How did you think Tina would
feel when she found out later
what you'd done?
I mean, do you really
think she'd forgive you?
- I wasn't even intending
to tell her.
I thought that Brett here
would just take off once Tina
was gone and he realized he
couldn't get the money.
- When are you gonna
get it through your fat head
that I was never after
her money?
- Then I was going to pretend
to pay the ransom and let Tina
think that the man she loved
had run out on her.
- That's it.
- Wait a minute, wait a minute,
man, I want to whack out this
bastard, too,
but it's not
gonna get Tina back.
Now, listen.
These guys you paid
to take your daughter away,
where'd they stash her away.
Do you know?
- No, no.
No.
I'll just have to pay the
ransom and hope and pray to God
that the kidnappers will
keep their word
and return
my little Tina safely.
- I wouldn't count on that,
Senator.
Better you let us
try and find her first.
- Well, how do you intend
to do that?
I mean, you haven't been
able to find her up to now.
- Up to now, we didn't
have the videotape.
- You got something?
- Maybe.
When I roll the tape
and she starts talking,
listen to the background noises,
see if you
can identify anything.
- Daddy, please help me.
If you don't, they'll kill me!
- New deal, Senator.
One million
American dollars cash,
or I will blow your spoiled...
- Hear anything familiar?
- Did I hear
the sound of the surf?
- You did.
- So she's somewhere
near the beach.
- Except that
doesn't do us much good,
'cause there are miles and
miles of beaches.
- Yeah, but only one
is in the flight pattern.
Here, I'll block out
everything but that.
- The airport.
- Bingo.
- Joanna...
You're a genius.
- About time certain people
around here realized that.
- What?
- Let's fan out.
Surround the place.
- As soon as we're all
in position, I'll move in
and find out how many of
them there are.
Inside, I mean.
- Oh, I knew that Navy SEAL
training would come in handy
someday.
- Get out of here.
The closest he
ever came to a seal
was cleaning out the tank
at SeaWorld.
- What would a Puerto-Vallartan
cab driver know about SeaWorld?
- I can see now why
the coalition decided
to shut down
Acapulco H.E.A.T.
- If we're all through with our
David Letterman routines,
could we get on with this?
- Okay, Captain Bligh.
Let's do it.
All right.
Keep your cards.
- There, I'm done.
- What do you think, guys?
- Get away from me.
Want me to call Delgardo?
Get away from me!
- No, don't go, no!
- You do that again,
you stupid bastard,
and I'm gonna
shoot your cojones off.
- Hey!
- How did you guys find me?
Uh, thank Aero Mexico for that.
- And Joanna.
Thank God you're safe.
- I'm not safe.
There's no safe places.
- There is now.
- Look at that.
Isn't it great?
- Well, it's nice to look at.
I know it feels good.
But great's depending on
who you're all wrapped up in.
- Just because your wrappings
are as interchangeable
as your trucks doesn't
mean it isn't great for them.
They're getting married.
They're gonna be together,
they're gonna start a family.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I don't think my uncle would
agree with you.
- You have an uncle?
- That's right.
Yeah, yeah.
You're not the only
one with famous uncles
that spout out hometown wisdom.
- What was he famous for?
- Eating.
- That doesn't make him smart.
- Hey, the amount
of food he ate,
he had to be
brilliant to pay for it.
He once ate 41 hot dogs
in one sitting.
- My Uncle Leon ate 72 pancakes.
- With mustard,
relish and onions.
- Maple syrup and butter.
- And buns.
- With sausage patties.
- Four quarts of beer.
- Two gallons of cider.
- I don't believe you.
- Have I ever lied to you
about any of my relatives?
I have opened up my entire
family to help you get through
those difficult times
when you needed
that little something extra.
What do you think about that?
- I still don't believe you.
- Were you telling the truth?
- Mostly.
- Me too.
That's... That's pretty
close enough for friends.
Did I tell you that I think it's
great about Brett and Tina?
- I ever tell
you about my uncle?
"Acapulco H.E.A.T."
will be right back.
Brett's gonna miss you
guys so much, now I know why.
- I don't know how to
thank you guys.
- Me neither.
- And that goes triple for me.
- Then don't try.
- I want you guys just to send
us some photos of the wedding.
- Okay.
It's a deal.
- Okay, I'll see you two
at the gate.
- Think you'll ever
forgive your future in-law?
- I honestly don't know.
- It's gonna take a lot of work
on all our parts, and time,
but hopefully going home
and having the wedding there
will be a start.
- You'll work it out, I'm sure.
- Thanks.
- Now, don't be a stranger, you.
- I promise.
- Thanks again for everything.
- Yeah.
- Adios, Amigo.
- Take care.
- Eh...
- Always.
- Thanks.
- I gotta know something.
Why don't you like me?
- I do like you.
- Then why don't you go to
Mexico City with me?
- The truth?
- Yeah.
- I'm engaged.
- Get out.
To who?
Now, you see, I knew it.
You were putting me on,
weren't you?
- No.
- Well, then, to who, then?
- His name is Zack.
- Zack... Who the hell is Zack?
- Joanna's favorite uncle.
He's a wonderful man.
He builds pyramid
out of milk bottles.
- I thought that was Uncle Eli!
- Bye!