Acapulco H.E.A.T. (1998–…): Season 1, Episode 15 - Code Name: Till Death Do Us Part - full transcript
A widow needs the team to prove her husband is really dead and not faking it, but their investigation reveals that the man has several other grieving wives.
Tonight on
"Acapulco H.E.A.T."...
- Ahh!
- Good luck pumping yourself!
- ♪ Oh, can you feel it
♪ Burning inside
♪ Yeah
♪ Making it hazy
♪ Making me crazy
♪ Deep in the darkest night
♪ I feel the motion
♪ Keep all my love alive
♪ Come to the ocean
♪ Out on the street
♪ I feel the heat
- Hey, guys, look!
- Finally a day in the sun.
I feel like...
Jeez.
I feel like I should be
conducting
some kind of primitive ritual.
Ooh!
- Your dating behavior
already qualifies you.
God.
What a helpless feeling
that has to be.
Hanging up there
from a parachute
with somebody shooting at you.
- It was pretty awful.
- Yeah.
- Well, I imagine there
must be a little downturn
in the parasail income.
- I think that's terrible to
focus on business
when a man has died.
- Well, let's not mourn
until we're sure
the son of a bitch is dead.
- Uh... you knew him?
- I was his wife.
But you wouldn't know it
as much as he was around.
- We're sorry about your
husband.
- I'm not.
Uh, then we're sorry about
whatever emotions
you're feeling.
Is there something we can do?
- I'm here to hire your
services.
- What makes you think our
services are for sale?
- It seems we have a mutual
friend on the Supreme Court.
- The Supreme Court?
Which one?
- What, uh, kind of services
did this, uh,
mutual friend
say we might perform?
- He assured me that if that rat
did fake his death,
you'd find him.
Or if somebody actually did
kill him, you'd find the body.
So I can take him home and give
him an indecent burial.
- And not have
to wait a few years
to collect on any insurance.
- That too.
- I... I... I don't really
understand...
how you might think
he might still be alive.
I mean, there were 50 witnesses
to the shooting.
- I've known
Frankie long enough to know
that he wasn't away on business.
He had the look of a hawk
circling its prey.
- And you weren't the prey?
- Exactly.
- Do you have any pictures
of Frank... uh, Frankie?
- No, he hated
having his picture taken.
- Maybe a sneaky one?
One he didn't know about?
- A girlfriend of mine might
have one from a party last year.
- Well, it would help.
- Sure.
- Do you, uh, know our fees?
- Look, dead or alive,
I'll pay you.
I mean, him, not me.
- We'll see what we can do.
- Thank you.
- Watch.
Hey, hey!
Business is lousy, Tommy.
I will give you
half-hour ride for free.
- Manuel, the reason you wanna
give me a free ride
is so you can have a gringo
flying around for advertising.
- If they find the body,
it will be better.
Right now, everybody
thinks sharks eat gringos.
- Yeah.
Well, hey, I'm looking for the
body, can you tell me anything?
- He was a nice guy.
I liked him.
- You fastened him in a harness
and in five minutes,
you form a friendship?
- He was a regular.
- Regular what?
- Good guy.
He'd gone up a half-dozen times.
And he tipped good.
- Can I, uh, see the harness?
- The federals have it.
- You know, hanging
around on the beach drinking
is not gonna make people really
wanna go up.
- With all this
sniper and shark talk,
anybody who would go up today
will be drinking more than me.
- All right, come on, I'll go up
for a short ride with you
to get you some business.
- Ah, muy bien, Tommy.
- Yeah, right, anything you say.
- Well, the women remember him.
- It is as if he was
invisible to the men.
- Well, I'm gonna go talk to
the housekeeping girls
and see what I can find out.
And then I'm gonna
go check his room.
- The room is probably sealed.
- So?
- Oh.
- I'll go check at
the Bel-Air Hotel.
One of the girls there said
that she thought
she overheard him
making some arrangements
to meet with someone there
in a couple of days.
- Okay.
- Man, you look distressed.
- Either I have lost
all of my skills,
or this guy's one of
the cleverest people alive.
- You, uh, care to elaborate
on that?
- I can't.
- You can't?
- I tried to pull his passport
from INS, and it's gone.
I... I tried to
work off his last-known address,
and I get a maze of addresses.
I look for bank accounts,
and there are so many,
it is going to take me
days to find the real ones
and eliminate other legitimate
Frank Bartlows.
I... I try...
- Okay, I get it, I get it.
I'll catch you later.
I'll be with our friend,
the captain, if you need me.
- Hola, my name's Remington.
- You've got to be kidding.
- And I wish I was, but my dad
had a thing for firearms.
He was a lousy shot,
but he liked guns.
And even though
he wasn't a great shot,
my mother made him get
rid of them...
before the divorce.
- My father was a pacifist.
- I think my dad was too,
he just liked guns.
You are the most
beautiful woman I've ever seen.
I would like very much just to
buy you a drink.
- I'm working.
- Just one?
- It would mean a lot to me.
- You don't know me.
- Yes, I, do, I...
- It's about energy.
I felt yours when I watched
you walk in here.
I can feel it now
while we're standing here.
- Do you feel that?
- No.
- It's like you are
a planet and I'm a gravita...
I'm a spaceship caught in
your gravitational pull.
- That's a frankly
suggestive little metaphor.
- Just one drink?
I am the most knowing guy
in Puerto Vallarta.
I know everything.
- Everything?
- Everything.
- Just one drink?
One?
- Okay.
- Whoa, hey!
Whoa, it's okay,
there's been a mistake, I...
Whoa, it's okay, whoa!
I guess no one told you about
Mexican jails, huh?
- You're the one that's
gonna be puffing up on
beans and tortillas, darling!
This is my husband's hotel room!
- This room belongs to
Frank Bartlow.
- I know, you idiot!
I'm Mary Rose Bartlow.
- His ex-wife?
- His nowwife!
Or it appears his now widow.
- For a woman, you defend
yourself very well.
- Shame I didn't
learn to defend myself
from Frankie's charm.
- Sorry to hear that.
- So am I.
He hit me for a ton of money.
Even his insurance is a dud.
I have to prove that he's dead.
So what were you doing
in his hotel room?
- Well, the company
I work for was hired
to find him for his body.
- Who hired you?
- An interested party.
- That's all I'm going to get?
- That's it.
- Then I guess I'm not
the only one
who thinks this
son of a bitch might be alive.
- Well, let me pay for
these and, um,
I'll take you
to meet my partners.
- Okay.
First I wanna clean up a little.
- All right, I'll meet you
outside the front door.
- I'm still trying to,
uh, figure out...
how a man with
three bullets in his heart
released the harness.
- Well, maybe it wasn't fastened
right in the first place.
- Strange it, uh,
should release after shooting
instead of before.
- Yeah, true, but...
maybe he had
enough left in him to...
release it in an attempt to stop
being such a perfect target.
- I do not consider a man
being pulled behind
a... a speeding boat...
a perfect target.
- Well, maybe if you were
a better shot, you would.
- Anytime, my friend.
The firing range.
Dollars, not pesos.
- Well, see, I'm afraid
that if you lost,
it'd be the firing squad for me.
- True.
- All right, well, you let me
know if the body turns up, okay?
- And you will let me know
whatever you find.
- Absolutely.
- I traveled a lot in Europe
for many years.
- Did you find it...
exciting or just lonely?
- There were times I found it
to be both.
- A few laughs, a few tears.
- I try not to cry.
I still don't.
- You are a fine woman, Nicole.
- Thank you.
I'm also a woman
who has to get back to work.
- Dinner tonight.
- 8:00.
- You son of a bitch!
Ahh!
- You didn't tell me you were
having a sugar craving.
- She didn't like the fact that
I was working
for an interested party
and wouldn't tell her who it is.
- Why was she running
through a restaurant?
- Why don't you ask her?
- Why were you running
through a restaurant?
- Because, I saw a guy
who I thought looked like
Frankie's brother.
I figured maybe he was
down here hiding Frankie.
- And what makes you think
he's still alive?
- Tax time.
My accountant was going over
some of the books
for one of the health clubs.
He noticed that Frank moved some
money from account to account.
During the process,
somewhere the money disappeared.
- Do you have any
pictures of him?
- No.
We had a wedding album,
but that was stolen along
with some jewelry a few months
after we were married.
- Didn't that
raise any suspicions?
- I was in love.
Or heat.
Sometimes it's hard
to tell the difference.
So the other interested party
doesn't have any photos either?
No.
- Okay, let us speculate that
Frank Bartlow is alive.
- Well, if he
is alive, he may have
already have left the country.
- No.
Too many beautiful women here.
He'd have
a real hard time leaving.
I tell you, that guy would come
visit me at one of the clubs,
his head would whip around like
a blind dog in a meat market.
- Maybe I'll check
all the places in town
where he might be.
Why don't you come with me and
see if you can help me spot him?
- Okay, um, first I wanna get
cleaned up a little.
- For real this time.
So dear Frank has two wives.
- I think she saw him
at the hotel.
- If she did, I don't get the
feeling she's going to tell us.
- It's the same feeling I got.
- And if she does
spot him again,
I don't think she's
going to be able to hide it.
- You look terrific.
- Thank you.
Did you run Mary Rose Bartlow?
- Yes.
She's a real wife.
I mean, she's married to him.
I also found three other real
wives besides Kathleen
and there could be more.
- Five wives?
- That's not all.
Now, I'm not 100% sure of this,
but it looks as if he may have
been dead before.
- Explain.
- There is so much electronic
information on Frank Bartlow,
I don't know who's who.
- Could it be
another Frank Bartlow?
- I think some of it has to be
a couple of other
Frank Bartlows.
I'll know later tonight
when and if I can get my hands
on some prints or dental charts
or something
that belonged to Frank
that was married to Kathleen.
Then I can compare them
with the ones I've got
on the one that
died nine years ago.
- I'm going to dinner.
You can call me
on my cell phone.
- I hate to interrupt
your evening.
- Me too.
Ah, do it anyway.
- Line 'em up.
- I have a confession.
When I saw you walking across
the restaurant towards me,
I wondered...
if my knees would
hold up when I stood up.
I mean, look at you.
You're so beautiful.
I feel like I should faint
so you know how deep I feel.
- You look very handsome
yourself.
- And that heart
is contained
in such a wonderful...
Don't misunderstand me.
I am equally drawn to
your inner beauty.
- It's okay.
I work hard to maintain
this body.
It did not just fall off a tree.
I like the fact that you
appreciate all of me.
- It's very easy to do.
You're beautiful...
you're busy.
Just what is it that you do?
- About what?
- A good answer.
Vague...
but good.
- Some friends and I own
a boutique on the beach.
- Whew...
- That's all you do
is run your boutique?
- Mm-hmm, why?
- Mmm...
I don't know, I just...
You seem like someone who
would require more mental
stimulation.
- I require all
kinds of stimulation.
It doesn't have to come from
what I do for a living.
- Wow, that's
another good answer.
I better excuse myself
and wipe the perspiration off
my forehead.
- Whew...
I knew it!
- Take it easy, I...
Let me out of here!
- Nicole.
- What happened to you?
- One... one of the boys
had a little too much to drink.
Fell down, and I helped
him up and he started to...
Started a fight with me.
- Are you okay?
- Yeah, yeah.
He's resting quietly too.
You know what, let's go dancing.
- Oh, I have to go to, uh...
I'll be right with you.
- No, but I wanna...
I wanna beat the crowds,
and I wanna get a really
good table.
- All of life
is a matter of timing.
- Tell my dinner partner
I had an emergency phone call,
my mother's sick.
- Freeze!
Frank, you...
Where do you think
you're going?!
- Who the hell are you?!
Frank?!
- Let go of me!
- Oh!
I've lost the diamond in
my engagement ring!
Oh, it's your fault!
Help me look for it.
- Not until you tell me
why you want Frankie.
Get off of me!
Ahh!
Please, let me go!
- "Acapulco H.E.A.T."
- will be right back.
- Cat, I'd like you to meet
Annabelle Bartlow.
- As in Frank?
- Who are you two?
- Allow me to introduce
Kathleen Bartlow
and Mary Rose Bartlow.
- Um, there must be some
mistake.
- I'm afraid not.
You are all married
to Frank Bartlow.
- How charming.
We're related.
- Oh, God.
- Oh, God.
- What are we waiting for?
- For a friend who's got some
more information on the, uh,
supposedly deceased
Frank Bartlow.
- We all know him already.
- When were you married?
- What?
- When did you and Frank
get married?
- June of '92.
- How about you?
- None of your business.
- June of '93.
And you were June of '91.
- Well... Frank likes June.
- Well, being that I've been
married to him the longest,
I think I should have
some say in this investigation.
- So far, there are four other
Mrs. Bartlows.
Two of which
were married before you.
- He was married to them
when he married me?
- Hey, he was married
to youwhen he married us.
- I guess he was looking for
something
he couldn't get at home.
- Oh, you bitch.
- I'd watch what I'd say
if I was you, darling.
He was married to
you when he married me.
I'd say he was definitely
looking.
- None of you
are the last Mrs. Bartlow.
And I don't think that
his performance
had much to do with, um...
what he was lacking.
- What is she talking about?
- I don't know.
What are you talking about?
- Frank Bartlow
was in Marshall Hospital
in Illinois in March of '91.
And, um...
had one of those
pump devices installed.
- What kind of pump?
- One of those pumps.
You know.
- You mean, like a, uh...
blood-pressure pump?
- Well, not exactly.
Well, yeah.
Maybe a blood-pressure pump.
But sort of...
localized.
- How local?
- Below-the-waist local.
- The son of a bitch!
- I need to tell them
about the beneficiary.
- Later.
- Tell you what,
when I find that fraud,
I'm gonna pump him
until he floats.
- Why don't you three go enjoy
a tall ice tea and, uh,
enjoy the beach?
I'm sure you all
have a lot to talk about.
- Oh, I think we have some
work to do.
- Listen, you guys
start prowling around town,
it's guaranteed to
scare him off.
If you haven't already.
- None of you know
what he looks like.
- Maybe we do.
We'll have an artist work with
the three of you...
just to make sure.
Then we'll know.
Nicole!
I'm glad I found you.
I went by the boutique.
I left a message on your phone.
I feel terrible about
having to leave last night.
- We all have emergencies.
How's your mom?
- Better, thanks.
Let me buy you lunch at
the Marriott to make up for it.
- Okay.
Just let me make one phone call.
- Okay.
So how's business?
You don't seem to be spending
too much time at the boutique.
- To tell you the truth,
I haven't had much time lately.
I'm helping out a friend
to find out if her husband
is dead or alive.
- That must be awful for her.
- Hmm, it's starting to look
like maybe he's alive.
Of course,
she's going to kill him.
But it will solve the mystery.
- Hmm.
- What was that?
- What?
- I thought I heard a camera
clicking somewhere over here.
- Why wouldn't you hear
a camera?
The town is full of tourist.
Lots of cameras,
lots of cameras.
How we doing?
- Not too good.
- You found them.
- Yeah, prowling around town
like a pack of wild dogs
on the hunt.
- This better be good.
It's him.
- It looks so recent.
- It's Remington
and I having lunch.
- Remington?
- What made you take
his picture?
- His sudden need to
get to know me and what I do
started to make me suspicious.
- He always talked about
changing his name to Remington.
- He told me he wanted to change
it to Vance.
- Lance.
- I found he told a lot of
things to a lot of people.
Joanna?
- Almost all of the insurance
policies he had with all of you
and the other wives
have been changed
so that one Bebe Halston
is the beneficiary.
- Bebe?
- If that's her real name.
- Yeah, we figured he's been
hanging around here
either because
it's a good place to hide
or he plans on meeting
this Bebe.
- Or more like making
Nicole wife number whatever.
- I don't think so.
His life-insurance policies
amount to some $16 million.
- I think some new
Kathleen hired us
and wanted to get close
to me to get information.
- Bebe?
- Without his body,
she'll have to wait
seven years to get the money.
- But we've all seen him.
- I don't think it
would make much difference.
Bebe could hire lawyers
who would say it was
sour grapes from wives
who found out they couldn't
get any money.
- What are we gonna do?
- Find him.
Whoo.
Sharks got to him.
- No kidding.
You said this was
Bartlow's body but there...
are no bullet holes in it.
- I know.
But, uh, according to the
identification in the wallet,
which contains $6,000,
it's Frank Bartlow.
Stay tuned for more
"Acapulco H.E.A.T."
- Doesn't it like bother you
that the head, hands
and feet are gone?
Like maybe it wasn't his body
and he wants us to think it is.
- I would guess, uh...
those were the parts of his body
thrashing around in the water.
And therefore, the most
appealing to the sharks.
- Then why didn't the shark or
the sharks eat the rest of him?
- We will know more when
the pathologist
has completed his examination.
- Bingo.
- Oh.
- Did the body have its...
genitalia?
- Yes.
- Have your pathologist see
if, um...
the body had a pump.
- A pump?
- Yes, a pump.
- You mean, like, uh...
for his heart or something?
- Uh...
Can you help us here?
- A pump.
A pump to pump up his,
you know...
- They have such things?
- Yes.
- Frank Bartlow...
had one of these pumps?
- Yes.
- Anytime you want to?
- That's what I understand.
Anytime you want to.
- Now, there's a good reason why
they wouldn't wanna kill him.
- I think that, uh...
would depend on when and where
he decided to, uh...
pump his pump.
- What do you plan on doing
with the women?
- Releasing them to you.
- Well, maybe we could get more
done with them in jail.
- If you enjoy your
relationship with the federales,
you will take them with you.
- Oh.
- Sounds fair with me.
How about you guys?
- Sure.
Okay.
Have lunch here on us.
- Then go to your rooms
and stay there.
- That doesn't make any sense.
We know what he looks like.
- In case you weren't
paying attention,
you are under suspicion for
the murder of Frank Bartlow.
You do not wanna be running
around town.
- And what really
worries me is the body.
Now, you three may have panicked
him to the point
of killing somebody
to cover his tracks.
- Now stay here and stay safe.
Go.
Think they're gonna stay?
- No.
- You know, I overheard them
talking about Frankie
having a gambling problem.
- He had to get
the convertible somewhere.
- Yeah, well, maybe we can find
him before they finish lunch.
- If I were them,
I would be ordering to go.
- Hello?
I understand you know
who I am now, so...
how about you meet me and we
talk about how I resolve this?
- How about you start by
apologizing
to whatever family had
their relative mutilated by you?
- Nicole...
I was assured that the body
was a John Doe.
Now, we can waste
time talking about the past...
or you can meet me
and we can find a way
to put this thing to bed.
- I thought it was me you
wanted to put to bed?
- Absolutely, but things
got a little out of hand.
- Where do you want to meet?
- Yeah, hello?
I just got something that
adds up to something more.
- Okay, whatever that means.
- Two nights ago,
a male body was stolen from
Ortiz's Funeral Home.
Same height and weight
as the dead body that showed up.
- Well, now that's not
a bad something.
Why don't you give
the info to Captain Rodriquez?
- Oh, he already knows
about the body.
The night watchman
was killed when they took it.
- Then there's two bodies.
- Well, the watchman was 81.
- Well, now we're not just
looking for a bigamist.
He's also a murderer.
Now that's a something.
- That's not all.
Nicole doesn't know about
this, and... and...
she's meeting Bartlow
at the South Point.
- I'm glad that you came.
- You may not be
when we're finished here.
- The fact that you came
makes me think that maybe...
just maybe we can negotiate.
- And just what do you want
to negotiate?
- I am going to be
a very rich man... soon.
I'd like to share it with you.
- 16 million or so?
- We can go away,
live very nicely
in the Caribbean.
It can be a great life.
- Most of the islands have
extradition treaties
with the United States.
- We would make
beautiful children.
- And we can ask
Bebe to babysit.
- You're not interested.
- Not in the least.
So this is the one who help you
stage the shooting.
- Yup.
And he's the one that's gonna
help me get rid of you.
- That's stupid.
Everyone knows you're alive.
We have medical records
from your implant.
The pathologist is probably
checking right now.
- Well, once you four
are out of the picture,
no one will spend a lot of time
listening to the rantings
of disinherited wives.
- Ahh!
- Whoa, whoa.
Very feisty, Nicole.
- Good luck pumping yourself!
- Just be careful about
my operation.
- Let me go, you big...
Stop it!
Tommy!
- Nicole, head shot.
- Oh, my hero.
- Yeah, that's me,
your giant mosquito.
Stay tuned for more
"Acapulco H.E.A.T."
Hey, boy!
- Uh...
Okay, whatever she wants,
the answer is no.
- One of Frank's
other wives is here
trying to get him out of jail.
- I wouldn't worry about that
if I were you.
Even though he thought the body
was from the funeral home,
the government's
charging him with a killing.
- And all for the money.
- I'm sorry, we'd love to chat,
but we're on a very important
mission.
- No, no, that's okay.
I just wanted to make sure
the bum didn't get a break.
- Oh, send us a card!
- Have a nice trip.
- Actually, I'm not leaving
right away.
- You're not?
- No, no, Mary Rose,
Annabelle and I are leaving
on a two-week cruise from here
this afternoon.
- Great, have
a terrific time, okay?
- Bye.
- Oh, look at these.
Cute.
- Joanna, could not get away.
- Forget Joanna.
Think about those poor men
those three women
are going to meet on the cruise.
- Now wait a minute, okay?
Some of those are beautiful
women, you know.
I wouldn't mind being locked
in a cabin with Annabelle.
- Locked in a cabin is right.
Those women just can't help
themselves
but make any man
they encounter suffer.
- They cannot get
a Frank Bartlow,
so someone has to
pay for his escapades.
- Oh, boy.
Bye, Joanna!
- Good luck!
- Help me to pick
a few out for my cruise.
Oh, I like this.
What do you think?
"Acapulco H.E.A.T."...
- Ahh!
- Good luck pumping yourself!
- ♪ Oh, can you feel it
♪ Burning inside
♪ Yeah
♪ Making it hazy
♪ Making me crazy
♪ Deep in the darkest night
♪ I feel the motion
♪ Keep all my love alive
♪ Come to the ocean
♪ Out on the street
♪ I feel the heat
- Hey, guys, look!
- Finally a day in the sun.
I feel like...
Jeez.
I feel like I should be
conducting
some kind of primitive ritual.
Ooh!
- Your dating behavior
already qualifies you.
God.
What a helpless feeling
that has to be.
Hanging up there
from a parachute
with somebody shooting at you.
- It was pretty awful.
- Yeah.
- Well, I imagine there
must be a little downturn
in the parasail income.
- I think that's terrible to
focus on business
when a man has died.
- Well, let's not mourn
until we're sure
the son of a bitch is dead.
- Uh... you knew him?
- I was his wife.
But you wouldn't know it
as much as he was around.
- We're sorry about your
husband.
- I'm not.
Uh, then we're sorry about
whatever emotions
you're feeling.
Is there something we can do?
- I'm here to hire your
services.
- What makes you think our
services are for sale?
- It seems we have a mutual
friend on the Supreme Court.
- The Supreme Court?
Which one?
- What, uh, kind of services
did this, uh,
mutual friend
say we might perform?
- He assured me that if that rat
did fake his death,
you'd find him.
Or if somebody actually did
kill him, you'd find the body.
So I can take him home and give
him an indecent burial.
- And not have
to wait a few years
to collect on any insurance.
- That too.
- I... I... I don't really
understand...
how you might think
he might still be alive.
I mean, there were 50 witnesses
to the shooting.
- I've known
Frankie long enough to know
that he wasn't away on business.
He had the look of a hawk
circling its prey.
- And you weren't the prey?
- Exactly.
- Do you have any pictures
of Frank... uh, Frankie?
- No, he hated
having his picture taken.
- Maybe a sneaky one?
One he didn't know about?
- A girlfriend of mine might
have one from a party last year.
- Well, it would help.
- Sure.
- Do you, uh, know our fees?
- Look, dead or alive,
I'll pay you.
I mean, him, not me.
- We'll see what we can do.
- Thank you.
- Watch.
Hey, hey!
Business is lousy, Tommy.
I will give you
half-hour ride for free.
- Manuel, the reason you wanna
give me a free ride
is so you can have a gringo
flying around for advertising.
- If they find the body,
it will be better.
Right now, everybody
thinks sharks eat gringos.
- Yeah.
Well, hey, I'm looking for the
body, can you tell me anything?
- He was a nice guy.
I liked him.
- You fastened him in a harness
and in five minutes,
you form a friendship?
- He was a regular.
- Regular what?
- Good guy.
He'd gone up a half-dozen times.
And he tipped good.
- Can I, uh, see the harness?
- The federals have it.
- You know, hanging
around on the beach drinking
is not gonna make people really
wanna go up.
- With all this
sniper and shark talk,
anybody who would go up today
will be drinking more than me.
- All right, come on, I'll go up
for a short ride with you
to get you some business.
- Ah, muy bien, Tommy.
- Yeah, right, anything you say.
- Well, the women remember him.
- It is as if he was
invisible to the men.
- Well, I'm gonna go talk to
the housekeeping girls
and see what I can find out.
And then I'm gonna
go check his room.
- The room is probably sealed.
- So?
- Oh.
- I'll go check at
the Bel-Air Hotel.
One of the girls there said
that she thought
she overheard him
making some arrangements
to meet with someone there
in a couple of days.
- Okay.
- Man, you look distressed.
- Either I have lost
all of my skills,
or this guy's one of
the cleverest people alive.
- You, uh, care to elaborate
on that?
- I can't.
- You can't?
- I tried to pull his passport
from INS, and it's gone.
I... I tried to
work off his last-known address,
and I get a maze of addresses.
I look for bank accounts,
and there are so many,
it is going to take me
days to find the real ones
and eliminate other legitimate
Frank Bartlows.
I... I try...
- Okay, I get it, I get it.
I'll catch you later.
I'll be with our friend,
the captain, if you need me.
- Hola, my name's Remington.
- You've got to be kidding.
- And I wish I was, but my dad
had a thing for firearms.
He was a lousy shot,
but he liked guns.
And even though
he wasn't a great shot,
my mother made him get
rid of them...
before the divorce.
- My father was a pacifist.
- I think my dad was too,
he just liked guns.
You are the most
beautiful woman I've ever seen.
I would like very much just to
buy you a drink.
- I'm working.
- Just one?
- It would mean a lot to me.
- You don't know me.
- Yes, I, do, I...
- It's about energy.
I felt yours when I watched
you walk in here.
I can feel it now
while we're standing here.
- Do you feel that?
- No.
- It's like you are
a planet and I'm a gravita...
I'm a spaceship caught in
your gravitational pull.
- That's a frankly
suggestive little metaphor.
- Just one drink?
I am the most knowing guy
in Puerto Vallarta.
I know everything.
- Everything?
- Everything.
- Just one drink?
One?
- Okay.
- Whoa, hey!
Whoa, it's okay,
there's been a mistake, I...
Whoa, it's okay, whoa!
I guess no one told you about
Mexican jails, huh?
- You're the one that's
gonna be puffing up on
beans and tortillas, darling!
This is my husband's hotel room!
- This room belongs to
Frank Bartlow.
- I know, you idiot!
I'm Mary Rose Bartlow.
- His ex-wife?
- His nowwife!
Or it appears his now widow.
- For a woman, you defend
yourself very well.
- Shame I didn't
learn to defend myself
from Frankie's charm.
- Sorry to hear that.
- So am I.
He hit me for a ton of money.
Even his insurance is a dud.
I have to prove that he's dead.
So what were you doing
in his hotel room?
- Well, the company
I work for was hired
to find him for his body.
- Who hired you?
- An interested party.
- That's all I'm going to get?
- That's it.
- Then I guess I'm not
the only one
who thinks this
son of a bitch might be alive.
- Well, let me pay for
these and, um,
I'll take you
to meet my partners.
- Okay.
First I wanna clean up a little.
- All right, I'll meet you
outside the front door.
- I'm still trying to,
uh, figure out...
how a man with
three bullets in his heart
released the harness.
- Well, maybe it wasn't fastened
right in the first place.
- Strange it, uh,
should release after shooting
instead of before.
- Yeah, true, but...
maybe he had
enough left in him to...
release it in an attempt to stop
being such a perfect target.
- I do not consider a man
being pulled behind
a... a speeding boat...
a perfect target.
- Well, maybe if you were
a better shot, you would.
- Anytime, my friend.
The firing range.
Dollars, not pesos.
- Well, see, I'm afraid
that if you lost,
it'd be the firing squad for me.
- True.
- All right, well, you let me
know if the body turns up, okay?
- And you will let me know
whatever you find.
- Absolutely.
- I traveled a lot in Europe
for many years.
- Did you find it...
exciting or just lonely?
- There were times I found it
to be both.
- A few laughs, a few tears.
- I try not to cry.
I still don't.
- You are a fine woman, Nicole.
- Thank you.
I'm also a woman
who has to get back to work.
- Dinner tonight.
- 8:00.
- You son of a bitch!
Ahh!
- You didn't tell me you were
having a sugar craving.
- She didn't like the fact that
I was working
for an interested party
and wouldn't tell her who it is.
- Why was she running
through a restaurant?
- Why don't you ask her?
- Why were you running
through a restaurant?
- Because, I saw a guy
who I thought looked like
Frankie's brother.
I figured maybe he was
down here hiding Frankie.
- And what makes you think
he's still alive?
- Tax time.
My accountant was going over
some of the books
for one of the health clubs.
He noticed that Frank moved some
money from account to account.
During the process,
somewhere the money disappeared.
- Do you have any
pictures of him?
- No.
We had a wedding album,
but that was stolen along
with some jewelry a few months
after we were married.
- Didn't that
raise any suspicions?
- I was in love.
Or heat.
Sometimes it's hard
to tell the difference.
So the other interested party
doesn't have any photos either?
No.
- Okay, let us speculate that
Frank Bartlow is alive.
- Well, if he
is alive, he may have
already have left the country.
- No.
Too many beautiful women here.
He'd have
a real hard time leaving.
I tell you, that guy would come
visit me at one of the clubs,
his head would whip around like
a blind dog in a meat market.
- Maybe I'll check
all the places in town
where he might be.
Why don't you come with me and
see if you can help me spot him?
- Okay, um, first I wanna get
cleaned up a little.
- For real this time.
So dear Frank has two wives.
- I think she saw him
at the hotel.
- If she did, I don't get the
feeling she's going to tell us.
- It's the same feeling I got.
- And if she does
spot him again,
I don't think she's
going to be able to hide it.
- You look terrific.
- Thank you.
Did you run Mary Rose Bartlow?
- Yes.
She's a real wife.
I mean, she's married to him.
I also found three other real
wives besides Kathleen
and there could be more.
- Five wives?
- That's not all.
Now, I'm not 100% sure of this,
but it looks as if he may have
been dead before.
- Explain.
- There is so much electronic
information on Frank Bartlow,
I don't know who's who.
- Could it be
another Frank Bartlow?
- I think some of it has to be
a couple of other
Frank Bartlows.
I'll know later tonight
when and if I can get my hands
on some prints or dental charts
or something
that belonged to Frank
that was married to Kathleen.
Then I can compare them
with the ones I've got
on the one that
died nine years ago.
- I'm going to dinner.
You can call me
on my cell phone.
- I hate to interrupt
your evening.
- Me too.
Ah, do it anyway.
- Line 'em up.
- I have a confession.
When I saw you walking across
the restaurant towards me,
I wondered...
if my knees would
hold up when I stood up.
I mean, look at you.
You're so beautiful.
I feel like I should faint
so you know how deep I feel.
- You look very handsome
yourself.
- And that heart
is contained
in such a wonderful...
Don't misunderstand me.
I am equally drawn to
your inner beauty.
- It's okay.
I work hard to maintain
this body.
It did not just fall off a tree.
I like the fact that you
appreciate all of me.
- It's very easy to do.
You're beautiful...
you're busy.
Just what is it that you do?
- About what?
- A good answer.
Vague...
but good.
- Some friends and I own
a boutique on the beach.
- Whew...
- That's all you do
is run your boutique?
- Mm-hmm, why?
- Mmm...
I don't know, I just...
You seem like someone who
would require more mental
stimulation.
- I require all
kinds of stimulation.
It doesn't have to come from
what I do for a living.
- Wow, that's
another good answer.
I better excuse myself
and wipe the perspiration off
my forehead.
- Whew...
I knew it!
- Take it easy, I...
Let me out of here!
- Nicole.
- What happened to you?
- One... one of the boys
had a little too much to drink.
Fell down, and I helped
him up and he started to...
Started a fight with me.
- Are you okay?
- Yeah, yeah.
He's resting quietly too.
You know what, let's go dancing.
- Oh, I have to go to, uh...
I'll be right with you.
- No, but I wanna...
I wanna beat the crowds,
and I wanna get a really
good table.
- All of life
is a matter of timing.
- Tell my dinner partner
I had an emergency phone call,
my mother's sick.
- Freeze!
Frank, you...
Where do you think
you're going?!
- Who the hell are you?!
Frank?!
- Let go of me!
- Oh!
I've lost the diamond in
my engagement ring!
Oh, it's your fault!
Help me look for it.
- Not until you tell me
why you want Frankie.
Get off of me!
Ahh!
Please, let me go!
- "Acapulco H.E.A.T."
- will be right back.
- Cat, I'd like you to meet
Annabelle Bartlow.
- As in Frank?
- Who are you two?
- Allow me to introduce
Kathleen Bartlow
and Mary Rose Bartlow.
- Um, there must be some
mistake.
- I'm afraid not.
You are all married
to Frank Bartlow.
- How charming.
We're related.
- Oh, God.
- Oh, God.
- What are we waiting for?
- For a friend who's got some
more information on the, uh,
supposedly deceased
Frank Bartlow.
- We all know him already.
- When were you married?
- What?
- When did you and Frank
get married?
- June of '92.
- How about you?
- None of your business.
- June of '93.
And you were June of '91.
- Well... Frank likes June.
- Well, being that I've been
married to him the longest,
I think I should have
some say in this investigation.
- So far, there are four other
Mrs. Bartlows.
Two of which
were married before you.
- He was married to them
when he married me?
- Hey, he was married
to youwhen he married us.
- I guess he was looking for
something
he couldn't get at home.
- Oh, you bitch.
- I'd watch what I'd say
if I was you, darling.
He was married to
you when he married me.
I'd say he was definitely
looking.
- None of you
are the last Mrs. Bartlow.
And I don't think that
his performance
had much to do with, um...
what he was lacking.
- What is she talking about?
- I don't know.
What are you talking about?
- Frank Bartlow
was in Marshall Hospital
in Illinois in March of '91.
And, um...
had one of those
pump devices installed.
- What kind of pump?
- One of those pumps.
You know.
- You mean, like a, uh...
blood-pressure pump?
- Well, not exactly.
Well, yeah.
Maybe a blood-pressure pump.
But sort of...
localized.
- How local?
- Below-the-waist local.
- The son of a bitch!
- I need to tell them
about the beneficiary.
- Later.
- Tell you what,
when I find that fraud,
I'm gonna pump him
until he floats.
- Why don't you three go enjoy
a tall ice tea and, uh,
enjoy the beach?
I'm sure you all
have a lot to talk about.
- Oh, I think we have some
work to do.
- Listen, you guys
start prowling around town,
it's guaranteed to
scare him off.
If you haven't already.
- None of you know
what he looks like.
- Maybe we do.
We'll have an artist work with
the three of you...
just to make sure.
Then we'll know.
Nicole!
I'm glad I found you.
I went by the boutique.
I left a message on your phone.
I feel terrible about
having to leave last night.
- We all have emergencies.
How's your mom?
- Better, thanks.
Let me buy you lunch at
the Marriott to make up for it.
- Okay.
Just let me make one phone call.
- Okay.
So how's business?
You don't seem to be spending
too much time at the boutique.
- To tell you the truth,
I haven't had much time lately.
I'm helping out a friend
to find out if her husband
is dead or alive.
- That must be awful for her.
- Hmm, it's starting to look
like maybe he's alive.
Of course,
she's going to kill him.
But it will solve the mystery.
- Hmm.
- What was that?
- What?
- I thought I heard a camera
clicking somewhere over here.
- Why wouldn't you hear
a camera?
The town is full of tourist.
Lots of cameras,
lots of cameras.
How we doing?
- Not too good.
- You found them.
- Yeah, prowling around town
like a pack of wild dogs
on the hunt.
- This better be good.
It's him.
- It looks so recent.
- It's Remington
and I having lunch.
- Remington?
- What made you take
his picture?
- His sudden need to
get to know me and what I do
started to make me suspicious.
- He always talked about
changing his name to Remington.
- He told me he wanted to change
it to Vance.
- Lance.
- I found he told a lot of
things to a lot of people.
Joanna?
- Almost all of the insurance
policies he had with all of you
and the other wives
have been changed
so that one Bebe Halston
is the beneficiary.
- Bebe?
- If that's her real name.
- Yeah, we figured he's been
hanging around here
either because
it's a good place to hide
or he plans on meeting
this Bebe.
- Or more like making
Nicole wife number whatever.
- I don't think so.
His life-insurance policies
amount to some $16 million.
- I think some new
Kathleen hired us
and wanted to get close
to me to get information.
- Bebe?
- Without his body,
she'll have to wait
seven years to get the money.
- But we've all seen him.
- I don't think it
would make much difference.
Bebe could hire lawyers
who would say it was
sour grapes from wives
who found out they couldn't
get any money.
- What are we gonna do?
- Find him.
Whoo.
Sharks got to him.
- No kidding.
You said this was
Bartlow's body but there...
are no bullet holes in it.
- I know.
But, uh, according to the
identification in the wallet,
which contains $6,000,
it's Frank Bartlow.
Stay tuned for more
"Acapulco H.E.A.T."
- Doesn't it like bother you
that the head, hands
and feet are gone?
Like maybe it wasn't his body
and he wants us to think it is.
- I would guess, uh...
those were the parts of his body
thrashing around in the water.
And therefore, the most
appealing to the sharks.
- Then why didn't the shark or
the sharks eat the rest of him?
- We will know more when
the pathologist
has completed his examination.
- Bingo.
- Oh.
- Did the body have its...
genitalia?
- Yes.
- Have your pathologist see
if, um...
the body had a pump.
- A pump?
- Yes, a pump.
- You mean, like, uh...
for his heart or something?
- Uh...
Can you help us here?
- A pump.
A pump to pump up his,
you know...
- They have such things?
- Yes.
- Frank Bartlow...
had one of these pumps?
- Yes.
- Anytime you want to?
- That's what I understand.
Anytime you want to.
- Now, there's a good reason why
they wouldn't wanna kill him.
- I think that, uh...
would depend on when and where
he decided to, uh...
pump his pump.
- What do you plan on doing
with the women?
- Releasing them to you.
- Well, maybe we could get more
done with them in jail.
- If you enjoy your
relationship with the federales,
you will take them with you.
- Oh.
- Sounds fair with me.
How about you guys?
- Sure.
Okay.
Have lunch here on us.
- Then go to your rooms
and stay there.
- That doesn't make any sense.
We know what he looks like.
- In case you weren't
paying attention,
you are under suspicion for
the murder of Frank Bartlow.
You do not wanna be running
around town.
- And what really
worries me is the body.
Now, you three may have panicked
him to the point
of killing somebody
to cover his tracks.
- Now stay here and stay safe.
Go.
Think they're gonna stay?
- No.
- You know, I overheard them
talking about Frankie
having a gambling problem.
- He had to get
the convertible somewhere.
- Yeah, well, maybe we can find
him before they finish lunch.
- If I were them,
I would be ordering to go.
- Hello?
I understand you know
who I am now, so...
how about you meet me and we
talk about how I resolve this?
- How about you start by
apologizing
to whatever family had
their relative mutilated by you?
- Nicole...
I was assured that the body
was a John Doe.
Now, we can waste
time talking about the past...
or you can meet me
and we can find a way
to put this thing to bed.
- I thought it was me you
wanted to put to bed?
- Absolutely, but things
got a little out of hand.
- Where do you want to meet?
- Yeah, hello?
I just got something that
adds up to something more.
- Okay, whatever that means.
- Two nights ago,
a male body was stolen from
Ortiz's Funeral Home.
Same height and weight
as the dead body that showed up.
- Well, now that's not
a bad something.
Why don't you give
the info to Captain Rodriquez?
- Oh, he already knows
about the body.
The night watchman
was killed when they took it.
- Then there's two bodies.
- Well, the watchman was 81.
- Well, now we're not just
looking for a bigamist.
He's also a murderer.
Now that's a something.
- That's not all.
Nicole doesn't know about
this, and... and...
she's meeting Bartlow
at the South Point.
- I'm glad that you came.
- You may not be
when we're finished here.
- The fact that you came
makes me think that maybe...
just maybe we can negotiate.
- And just what do you want
to negotiate?
- I am going to be
a very rich man... soon.
I'd like to share it with you.
- 16 million or so?
- We can go away,
live very nicely
in the Caribbean.
It can be a great life.
- Most of the islands have
extradition treaties
with the United States.
- We would make
beautiful children.
- And we can ask
Bebe to babysit.
- You're not interested.
- Not in the least.
So this is the one who help you
stage the shooting.
- Yup.
And he's the one that's gonna
help me get rid of you.
- That's stupid.
Everyone knows you're alive.
We have medical records
from your implant.
The pathologist is probably
checking right now.
- Well, once you four
are out of the picture,
no one will spend a lot of time
listening to the rantings
of disinherited wives.
- Ahh!
- Whoa, whoa.
Very feisty, Nicole.
- Good luck pumping yourself!
- Just be careful about
my operation.
- Let me go, you big...
Stop it!
Tommy!
- Nicole, head shot.
- Oh, my hero.
- Yeah, that's me,
your giant mosquito.
Stay tuned for more
"Acapulco H.E.A.T."
Hey, boy!
- Uh...
Okay, whatever she wants,
the answer is no.
- One of Frank's
other wives is here
trying to get him out of jail.
- I wouldn't worry about that
if I were you.
Even though he thought the body
was from the funeral home,
the government's
charging him with a killing.
- And all for the money.
- I'm sorry, we'd love to chat,
but we're on a very important
mission.
- No, no, that's okay.
I just wanted to make sure
the bum didn't get a break.
- Oh, send us a card!
- Have a nice trip.
- Actually, I'm not leaving
right away.
- You're not?
- No, no, Mary Rose,
Annabelle and I are leaving
on a two-week cruise from here
this afternoon.
- Great, have
a terrific time, okay?
- Bye.
- Oh, look at these.
Cute.
- Joanna, could not get away.
- Forget Joanna.
Think about those poor men
those three women
are going to meet on the cruise.
- Now wait a minute, okay?
Some of those are beautiful
women, you know.
I wouldn't mind being locked
in a cabin with Annabelle.
- Locked in a cabin is right.
Those women just can't help
themselves
but make any man
they encounter suffer.
- They cannot get
a Frank Bartlow,
so someone has to
pay for his escapades.
- Oh, boy.
Bye, Joanna!
- Good luck!
- Help me to pick
a few out for my cruise.
Oh, I like this.
What do you think?