A Moody Christmas (2012): Season 1, Episode 5 - Water Under the Bridge - full transcript
Translate: Shuter
And what is it, Sean?
MAN, ON PHONE: Ah,
QF1, arriving at 9am.
Great, except it's
BA14 arriving at 6am.
I don't have it in front of me.
I've got the email.
If you're not going to
be there, just tell me.
I don't want Patience waiting
around all day for you.
You reckon she'll come?
Yes, of course she's
going to turn up.
MAN, ON PHONE: I've
heard that before.
Is that Terry?
Hey Dan, how's London?
Yeah, good Tez.
Dan, do not worry. Your transport
needs are taken care of.
Sorted! Fine.
Just tell me you're going to
be there in the morning, Sean.
No worries. All good, Dan.
Don't worry about
the smash and grab.
You'll take him to the house...
Sean!
What are you saying?
It's rhyming slang.
Sean.
Sean. This is a
long distance call!
You'll take him to the
house, the mickey mouse.
Oh, my God.
I normally love heat.
This is just oppressive.
Where's your brother?
He's probably still in bed.
Ah, I'm Dan Moody.
Mr Moody? Welcome to Australia.
I'm from Australia.
I trust you had a pleasant flight?
Yeah. Who sent...
My name is Keith. I'm
your driver today.
Right. Oh, thanks.
Is this as hot as it gets,
or does it get more hot?
Ah, it's... Oh, my God.
Lost luggage?
Year 10 formal last night.
Is he OK?
♪ DANCE MUSIC I think
I'm going to be sick.
Um, Keith, do these
windows go down at all?
Ah, no.
Well, they do, but the lights don't
work when the window's down.
We can probably live with that.
So could you maybe put them...
..down.
Thanks. That's good.
Thank you.
OK, that'll be 200 dollars.
Ah, no, I'm Sean's brother.
I'm not... 200 dollars for
a 20-minute car ride?
You still have the car for the hour
if you'd like to go for a drive?
No, I don't want
to go for a drive.
I'm not going to give
you 200 dollars.
Take it up with your boss, OK?
Merry Christmas. Let's go.
Dan.
Sean! Sean!
Ohh!
Bridge, what's...
Can you lower your
voice, please?
Hi, Mrs Moody.
Ah no, no, um, it's
Bridget, my sister Bridget.
This is Patience.
Yeah, I know. I
was just kidding.
I've got my Dad's dark sense
of humour, God rest his soul.
I'm sorry.
He's not dead. It was an
example of my humour.
Where's Sean? What's going on?
Yeah, just give me a minute.
When did Sean move out?
Oh, about two months ago. Dad
nearly had another heart attack.
Wow. Thought it'd be
till he was 40 at least.
No, that honour's probably
going to fall to me.
I lived with my parents last summer.
It was so tragic.
Yeah, well my ex and I-
The gay bloke you're
adopting with?
Yeah. We just sold our house, so
it's just until I find a new place.
Or I kill myself,
whichever comes first.
You have such a great
sense of humour.
Hey, where are Mum and Dad?
Ah, they're visiting Grandma.
She's too sick to come
for Christmas lunch.
Is she OK?
Yeah, but you should
probably go see her.
- This could actually be...
- Grandma's last Christmas.
OK, I will.
Last Christmas, I
shagged an old guy.
He was 80. I thought he was 80.
Turned out he was 65.
Just kidding.
Hello!
Hey! Here he is. Wow,
look at you two.
How are ya? There you go, mate.
You right? There we go.
Hey, look at you.
Hey? With your hair, look at you.
Fab Four, eh?
Groovy! Where's Ringo?
You remember Peggy?
Yeah, of course. Peggy,
Merry Christmas.
This is Patience. Hiya.
How're you going? Patience, eh?
Parents big Gunners fans, or...?
♪ Patience... ♪
No? No.
Yeah. Ah, can I talk to you?
Ah what, about the
$200 limo scam?
Scam? Mate, I gave you
the family discount.
Can you believe this guy?
It's normally 350.
Oh, well. Is this about Rhys?
What?
No, why would I talk about him?
Who's Rhys? He's a
crazy uncle in jail.
He's out on day release
for Christmas.
You'll have the pleasure
of meeting him later.
Oh, my God, like a pirate. A word.
Just for a minute.
The word I think you're
thinking about is 'convict'.
Convict.
Well, he's a family member, Sean.
You can't-
Mate, he did shoot me.
Yeah, wasn't it an arrow?
A crossbow.
Yeah, but just in the leg.
Mate, he could have killed me.
Well, if Rhys come
over with a crossbow,
then I'll jump in front of you
and take the arrow for you, OK?
Can I go in now? No, no, no.
Listen.
I'm gonna propose today. What?
I'm gonna propose today.
What? That's amazing, mate.
Congratulations. Wow.
You be best man? Yeah, I'd be honoured.
That's awesome.
It's gonna be massive. Yeah?
I've already started
planning the whole thing.
Big wedding? Big buck's party.
Yeah, right. I'm thinking...
Oh, you've got to be kidding me.
Oh yeah, Dad. So tacky, hey?
If he got up there, why
couldn't he just take it down?
Exactly. Actually, I don't
mind the old and the new.
Dan?
How long have you got, mate?
Eight hours, Kev, and I intend to
make the most... G'day, Sean.
And what is it, Sean?
MAN, ON PHONE: Ah,
QF1, arriving at 9am.
Great, except it's
BA14 arriving at 6am.
I don't have it in front of me.
I've got the email.
If you're not going to
be there, just tell me.
I don't want Patience waiting
around all day for you.
You reckon she'll come?
Yes, of course she's
going to turn up.
MAN, ON PHONE: I've
heard that before.
Is that Terry?
Hey Dan, how's London?
Yeah, good Tez.
Dan, do not worry. Your transport
needs are taken care of.
Sorted! Fine.
Just tell me you're going to
be there in the morning, Sean.
No worries. All good, Dan.
Don't worry about
the smash and grab.
You'll take him to the house...
Sean!
What are you saying?
It's rhyming slang.
Sean.
Sean. This is a
long distance call!
You'll take him to the
house, the mickey mouse.
Oh, my God.
I normally love heat.
This is just oppressive.
Where's your brother?
He's probably still in bed.
Ah, I'm Dan Moody.
Mr Moody? Welcome to Australia.
I'm from Australia.
I trust you had a pleasant flight?
Yeah. Who sent...
My name is Keith. I'm
your driver today.
Right. Oh, thanks.
Is this as hot as it gets,
or does it get more hot?
Ah, it's... Oh, my God.
Lost luggage?
Year 10 formal last night.
Is he OK?
♪ DANCE MUSIC I think
I'm going to be sick.
Um, Keith, do these
windows go down at all?
Ah, no.
Well, they do, but the lights don't
work when the window's down.
We can probably live with that.
So could you maybe put them...
..down.
Thanks. That's good.
Thank you.
OK, that'll be 200 dollars.
Ah, no, I'm Sean's brother.
I'm not... 200 dollars for
a 20-minute car ride?
You still have the car for the hour
if you'd like to go for a drive?
No, I don't want
to go for a drive.
I'm not going to give
you 200 dollars.
Take it up with your boss, OK?
Merry Christmas. Let's go.
Dan.
Sean! Sean!
Ohh!
Bridge, what's...
Can you lower your
voice, please?
Hi, Mrs Moody.
Ah no, no, um, it's
Bridget, my sister Bridget.
This is Patience.
Yeah, I know. I
was just kidding.
I've got my Dad's dark sense
of humour, God rest his soul.
I'm sorry.
He's not dead. It was an
example of my humour.
Where's Sean? What's going on?
Yeah, just give me a minute.
When did Sean move out?
Oh, about two months ago. Dad
nearly had another heart attack.
Wow. Thought it'd be
till he was 40 at least.
No, that honour's probably
going to fall to me.
I lived with my parents last summer.
It was so tragic.
Yeah, well my ex and I-
The gay bloke you're
adopting with?
Yeah. We just sold our house, so
it's just until I find a new place.
Or I kill myself,
whichever comes first.
You have such a great
sense of humour.
Hey, where are Mum and Dad?
Ah, they're visiting Grandma.
She's too sick to come
for Christmas lunch.
Is she OK?
Yeah, but you should
probably go see her.
- This could actually be...
- Grandma's last Christmas.
OK, I will.
Last Christmas, I
shagged an old guy.
He was 80. I thought he was 80.
Turned out he was 65.
Just kidding.
Hello!
Hey! Here he is. Wow,
look at you two.
How are ya? There you go, mate.
You right? There we go.
Hey, look at you.
Hey? With your hair, look at you.
Fab Four, eh?
Groovy! Where's Ringo?
You remember Peggy?
Yeah, of course. Peggy,
Merry Christmas.
This is Patience. Hiya.
How're you going? Patience, eh?
Parents big Gunners fans, or...?
♪ Patience... ♪
No? No.
Yeah. Ah, can I talk to you?
Ah what, about the
$200 limo scam?
Scam? Mate, I gave you
the family discount.
Can you believe this guy?
It's normally 350.
Oh, well. Is this about Rhys?
What?
No, why would I talk about him?
Who's Rhys? He's a
crazy uncle in jail.
He's out on day release
for Christmas.
You'll have the pleasure
of meeting him later.
Oh, my God, like a pirate. A word.
Just for a minute.
The word I think you're
thinking about is 'convict'.
Convict.
Well, he's a family member, Sean.
You can't-
Mate, he did shoot me.
Yeah, wasn't it an arrow?
A crossbow.
Yeah, but just in the leg.
Mate, he could have killed me.
Well, if Rhys come
over with a crossbow,
then I'll jump in front of you
and take the arrow for you, OK?
Can I go in now? No, no, no.
Listen.
I'm gonna propose today. What?
I'm gonna propose today.
What? That's amazing, mate.
Congratulations. Wow.
You be best man? Yeah, I'd be honoured.
That's awesome.
It's gonna be massive. Yeah?
I've already started
planning the whole thing.
Big wedding? Big buck's party.
Yeah, right. I'm thinking...
Oh, you've got to be kidding me.
Oh yeah, Dad. So tacky, hey?
If he got up there, why
couldn't he just take it down?
Exactly. Actually, I don't
mind the old and the new.
Dan?
How long have you got, mate?
Eight hours, Kev, and I intend to
make the most... G'day, Sean.