A Different World (1987–1993): Season 4, Episode 20 - It's Showtime at Hillman - full transcript
When Walter arranges a telethon to raise extra money for the outreach center, the Hillman gang contributes by showcasing their various talents.
£ I know my parents loved me £
£ stand behind me
come what may £
£ I know now that I'm ready £
£ for I finally heard them say £
£ it's a different world £
£ than where you come from £
£ yes, it is now, yeah £
£ here's our chance to make it £
£ and if we focus on our goal £
£ you can dish it,
we can take it £
£ hey, just remember
that you've been told £
£ it's a different world £
£ it's a different world £
£ it's a different world £
£ than where you come from £
£ ooh £
£ than where you come from. £
Walter: Yo everybody!
We have two days
until the telethon.
Station wxep has allowed us
to use the studio for free.
If it's free, it's raggedy.
It's not the most high-tech.
That's why we need
everybody to help.
So I urge those
who have not yet volunteered
to lend a hand, a foot,
a lip, whatever you got.
These children need your help.
Look at them.
Walter, I got volunteers
and I wrote a song.
£ the planet's
got to change... £
and your voice got to change.
Time to go home.
Follow Freddie on out.
Thank you, Freddie.
Dion, where are you going?
Your mama's
working late tonight.
Let me see your math homework.
If you know so much about math,
how come operation
outreach is broke?
Did you spend all the money?
Yo, man, eat this.
You big, fake, jheri-curl
peasy rotten head.
Come here man.
Let me tell you what happened.
The company
that promised us $15,000
got bought by another company
that ain't going
to give us 15 cents.
It's a case of the big fish
eating the little fish.
Just face it, Walter...
This program's a goner.
The telethon's going to save us.
Right.
I have been looking all
over for you. I've tried
to call you all day.
Just like I thought.
Come crawling back to me.
Dream on, brother.
Look, I know I'm an alum, but...
You want to sing.
Mm-hmm.
No.
Why not? You know I can sing.
Yes, you can sing...
In church on Sunday
with other people.
Excuse me?
Jaleesa, you sound good
in front of a bunch
of testifying friends.
"Sing jaleesa! Girl!
Woo! Get it!"
I need some acts
that are smoking...
Some people who can
set the stage on fire.
Some James brown.
Ladies.
Walter, have a seat,
because this number
is a four-alarm fire.
Right.
£ lost £
£ in a dream £
£ and I don't know
which way to go £
£ let me tell you that £
£ if you're all that you seem £
£ then, baby, I'm moving £
£ way too slow, yeah £
£ I been fooled before £
£ wouldn't like
to get my love caught £
£ in the slammin' door £
£ how about some information £
£ please? £
your hair's on fire.
£ straight up, now, tell me £
£ do you really
wanna love me forever? £
we'll raise the $15,000.
$15,000. That's right.
That's what we need
to keep operation outreach
reaching out to these children
in the community,
with tutoring, counseling,
hot lunches, field trips.
We want to keep
operation outreach
reaching out to these kids,
giving them some self esteem.
We want them off the streets
and on the road to college.
For the next three hours,
you'll see the talents
of hillman college students
and the local community,
and this talent is gonna
knock your socks off.
But this is not
just a talent show.
This is a telethon, so we
want you to get on the phone
and show your appreciation, and
call that toll-free number:
5-5-5-give.
Yes! Our first pledge already.
Look what we got.
Five dollars from wynona Hendrix
and her lovely sister,
aquenetta.
Thank you so much for pooling...
Go ahead and sit down children.
Thank you so much
for pooling your piggy banks.
Let's go to the tote board.
This is our lovely hostess
vanna black.
Ron, drum roll, please.
People, we have less
than three hours left
and we are $14,995 away
from our goal.
So let's get busy!
First up, we have
the slamming, jamming
operation outreach demons.
Hit it!
Ow!
Ooh!
I bet we make a million dollars.
You're tripping.
Nobody cares about us.
Beautiful, my precious...
Hey everybody, we're on
our way. And remember
why we're here.
That's for one purpose.
To raise enough money
to send colonel Taylor's son
back to Germany.
Just playing, pee wee.
If you want to see when
you're on Terrence is
the man to see.
£ mi £
£ ah ha ha £
£ ah. £
your cry has attracted
the game warden.
Yes, I've been hunted
and caught.
How's the stand-up coming?
Hey, man, I'm ready.
I'm going to kill.
You ready for this?
I'm ready.
Are you ready?
Ready?
I'm ready man.
Huh?
Wait, wait, wait.
Ahem.
My neighborhood is so rough,
we don't recycle...
We reload.
Wait, I got another one.
This is a good one.
Uh-huh?
How many South Africans
does it take
to screw in a light bulb?
How many?
I don't know.
They won't let me in the house.
That's cool.
You like that one?
Terrence, put down Dwayne
for the finale.
If he bombs, can I dance?
You'll be dancing.
Whoo!
Whoa, yes, yes.
Those phones
are jumping off the hook now.
Oh, goodness!
Look at this!
Let's go to the tote board.
Black vanna, what's up?
Walter, we've got $1,945.
Yes, we do.
$1,945, we got a new total
and we still have two and a
half hours to go.
Oh yes. Keep operation
outreach reaching out.
Keep these phones ringing.
And right now we're
going to go outside.
We got Freddie and Matthew
collecting contributions.
Freddie, what's happening
out there?
Hi, Walter.
We're outside the station.
People are just
dropping off donations.
So far, we've collected $200
and one crate
of canned cling peaches.
If you're dropping off fruit
please put it in its own juice
and not the syrup.
It's so bad.
Freddie, it's only
a three-hour telethon.
Walter: Thank you Freddie!
Let's go down and meet these
hardworking phone volunteers.
Right now we have
colonel Bradford Taylor,
thsi is a much-decorated
Vietnam war hero.
By the way, if you're listening
Hollywood, Oliver stone,
black men contributed more
to the Vietnam war effort
than just a motown soundtrack.
Who's on the phone, colonel?
Well, Walter, we have
the Morgan family
and they're donating $125.
Whoo!
Thank you so much,
Morgan family.
And tell all the people, tell
your neighbors, please.
Right over here we have
one of my favorite people.
He's in charge
of food administration.
He's the king of fine cuisine.
Mr. Vernon gaines.
What?
No, but this is
for the children!
How do you get off
giving such a measly amount?
You know what I think?
You're cheap.
That's right, cheap.
Get off the phone, velma.
Oh, velma's his wife.
He can talk to her like that.
Vernon, it's velma
on this line here.
She says you're sleeping
on the couch tonight.
Right now we have
a special guest...
Hold it!
Just a moment.
Brother, what's up?
Hey, I'm sorry.
I'm Larry, of Larry's floors
and I'm here to give
operation outreach
a check for $1,000.
God bless you, brother.
Thank you so much.
Because at Larry's floors
we believe the children
are our future.
Yes, they are.
Larry's floors.
We strip, we stain,
we even polyurethane.
I can't believe it!
And we will shellac
on special request.
A Larry's floor
is a flawless floor.
I bet you it is.
Where's the check?
Check?
The money.
I must have left that
at the executive offices
of Larry's floors.
Why don't you slide down there
by special request
and go get it?
Ladies and gentlemen,
we have a special treat for you.
We have hillman's own
miss Kim Reese
singing "inseparable."
Do it to them, baby.
£ inseparable £
£ that's how we'll always be £
£ inseparable £
£ just you and me £
£ it's so wonderful £
£to know that
you'll always be around me £
£ incredible £
£ what you are to me £
£ incredible £
£ you bring out
the woman in me £
£ with your style of love £
£ inseparable £
£ yes, we are... £
up two, three, four,
five, six, seven, eight.
Sorry about that, Ellis.
Down in the split.
And up, two.
And touch and touch.
Whoa!
I love this part.
You boys are so strong.
I could stay up here
all day long.
- Thank you.
- Hey David...
Mmm, she sure is fine.
You hear what she said to me?
Get that hair out your ear.
She was talking to me
through most of that rehersal.
Man, you're doing the same
thing we did with Rhonda.
Be glad I took Rhonda
off your hands.
£ ...Blow our thing £
£ we're just inseparable £
£ that's how it is £
£ inseparable £
£ for the rest of our years £
£ it's so wonderful £
£ to know £
£ you'll always be £
£ around. £
Everybody, guess what?
Good news.
We have raised over $6,000.
Fantabulous.
Oh, yeah?
Where is it?
Yo, they don't just put the
money in your hands,
they don't bring the
money in shoe boxes.
They send in checks.
Man, this program gonna be
gone like the last one.
Oh, is it so?
We're gonna make
$15,000 and then some.
All right?
All right, because I
know what I'm doing.
I called Jerry Lewis.
I know how to run a telethon.
Mr. Gaines:
Hey are we up yet?
Mr. Gaines, we need you
on the phones.
No, they don't.
They hardly ringing.
Better call Jerry Lewis again.
Bring it on home.
Get ready.
Okay, here we go, baby.
Come on home.
Easy.
Hey!
I'm giving the folks an encore.
No, no, no.
Did you come to challenge?
No. Get off the stage.
I'm giving the folks an encore.
Hold on, Vernon.
We already did five encores.
It's vaudeville protocol.
Give the folks what they want.
I'm giving you an encore.
What do ya'll want?
All:
Get off the stage!
You got to give the folks
what they want.
I'd like to thank Vernon gaines
and colonel Taylor
for their never, never,
ever, ever-ending rendition
of "Lou's blues
and his funky tap shoes."
Now, let's go to the phone bank.
Ron, drum roll, please.
What's the matter here people?
Somebody forget to pay
the phone bill?
You're not calling like before.
We got less than an hour left.
Now, get out of the fridge
and get on the phone.
I'm not asking, I'm begging.
Please, send the
money. Please.
Kinu, kinu, you're up next.
Dwayne...
What?
I can't remember a single lyric.
Don't worry.
It's just a couple of rows
of very friendly people.
Don't forget the millions
who will be watching on TV.
It's just
a local program, whitley.
But most people have satellites.
I'm sure this thing
will be airing in India.
Good luck, kila da-da.
Ladies and gentlemen,
kinu Owens.
£ hey, mister melody £
£ you're on my mind constantly £
£ and I think of you
the whole day long £
£ you are my melody £
£ you mean all the world to me £
£ without you
I would have no song £
£ ah, ah, ah, oh, yeah £
£ scu-be-du-be-du-ya £
£ scu-be-du-be-du-ya £
£ du-be-du-be £
£ du-ya-du-ya-du-ya-du-ya £
£ du-ya £
£ scu-be-du-be-du-ya £
£ du-be-du-be £
£ du-be-du-be £
£ du-doi-du-doi-du-doi £
£ mister melody £
£ you make me sing... £
I hear they're loving her
in Calcutta, too.
Mmm! Mmm!
£ whee! Mister melody £
£ mister melody £
£ yeah £
Right now, let's bring out
miss whitley Gilbert
and the fabulous
Braxton brothers
doing their tribute
to Josephine baker.
£ j'ai deux amours £
£ mon pays et Paris £
£ par eux toujours £
£ mon coeur est Ravi. £
£ ow! Ow! £
£ j'ai deux amours £
£ mon pays et Paris. £
Wait a minute.
My feet!
Ah!
Ooh, give them some love!
You hang in there, baby.
I think this belongs to you.
Let's go to the tote board.
Where are we standing?
The same place we were
an hour ago...
Whitley:
Let me down,
please.
$7,134.
Yes, indeedy.
People aren't leaving
contributions here.
Maybe they're outside
with Matthew and Freddie
just hanging out.
Whitley: Please
let me down!
Freddie, take it away.
Hi, Walter.
We're right where we were
two hours ago... $250,
but, I'm really trying.
Please stop.
Walter, nobody cares about us.
People see us and they start
rolling up their windows
and locking their doors
and stuff.
Somebody's listening.
Who is it?
Mrs. Estelle Douglas.
What's estelle pledging?
She pledges
to kill Larry of Larry floors.
Something about linoleum warped.
Speak of the devil,
here's Larry now.
I just want to say
to Mrs. Estelle Douglas,
that Larry's floors is not
responsible for her problem.
I told her
to keep your fat son
off the linoleum,
till the adhesive dried.
Forget the fat son
and give us the fat check.
Right here.
This is an official
Larry's floors company check
for $1,000.
Whoo, all right.
Thank you, Larry
of Larry's floors.
What can I say about this check?
I wouldn't deposit that
for a couple of days
if I were you.
People, where are you?
I tell you what.
If this next performer
doesn't inspire you
nothing will.
Let's bring out the comic genius
of Dwayne Wayne.
Hey, Dwayne Wayne, come on down.
Make the people laugh.
Uh... ah...
Whoo! Ain't he funny?
Tell a joke, brother.
Uh... uh...
Why did the chicken
cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Tell a good joke, okay?
Uh, how many South Africans
does it take
to put on a light
when they're not in the house?
Are you okay?
Tell them about the
rough neighborhood
you're from.
It was rough, Walter.
How rough was it?
Oh, it was rough, Walter.
I bet I wouldn't want
to live there.
No, no.
Okay. Could somebody
come get this brother
off the stage right now.
The lovely kinu Owens.
Get him out of here.
You know what, people?
Let's get serious for a
second here.
One of the kids
said that nobody cares
but that's a lie.
You do care.
At least you cared
two and a half hours ago.
Ten seconds?
Please give some money!
Call 555-give.
We're off the air.
I'm sorry, Walter.
I choked.
Nah, you just stank.
People quit calling
long before you.
But still...
Hey, wait a minute.
Only one cupcake per customer.
Only one per customer.
Oh, lord...
Hey, Dion.
Now you never been one
to pass up free vittles.
I'm not hungry.
Not hungry?
Not even for a double-Dutch
chocolate fudge
devil food cupcake?
We didn't raise enough money.
What's that got to do
with a cupcake?
I can't come here anymore.
Hush that foolish talk.
But Walter promised
we'd raise the money.
You're not raising anything
sitting here.
All these people
worked hard for you.
It's time for you
to get off of your little butt
and do something.
Could you spare a quarter
for operation outreach?
Maybe a dollar?
Mr. Gaines:
There you go.
Everybody, hold it down.
Walter, you're the only one
who hasn't made a donation.
What's this for?
Operation outreach.
Cough up a dollar.
Was this your idea?
No, my mama's.
Now cough up a dollar.
You all right, man.
Ya'll better get
this party started.
This ain't no funeral.
I've got to get my beauty rest.
Go home to velma.
That's my boy.
Go colonel! Go colonel!
£ stand behind me
come what may £
£ I know now that I'm ready £
£ for I finally heard them say £
£ it's a different world £
£ than where you come from £
£ yes, it is now, yeah £
£ here's our chance to make it £
£ and if we focus on our goal £
£ you can dish it,
we can take it £
£ hey, just remember
that you've been told £
£ it's a different world £
£ it's a different world £
£ it's a different world £
£ than where you come from £
£ ooh £
£ than where you come from. £
Walter: Yo everybody!
We have two days
until the telethon.
Station wxep has allowed us
to use the studio for free.
If it's free, it's raggedy.
It's not the most high-tech.
That's why we need
everybody to help.
So I urge those
who have not yet volunteered
to lend a hand, a foot,
a lip, whatever you got.
These children need your help.
Look at them.
Walter, I got volunteers
and I wrote a song.
£ the planet's
got to change... £
and your voice got to change.
Time to go home.
Follow Freddie on out.
Thank you, Freddie.
Dion, where are you going?
Your mama's
working late tonight.
Let me see your math homework.
If you know so much about math,
how come operation
outreach is broke?
Did you spend all the money?
Yo, man, eat this.
You big, fake, jheri-curl
peasy rotten head.
Come here man.
Let me tell you what happened.
The company
that promised us $15,000
got bought by another company
that ain't going
to give us 15 cents.
It's a case of the big fish
eating the little fish.
Just face it, Walter...
This program's a goner.
The telethon's going to save us.
Right.
I have been looking all
over for you. I've tried
to call you all day.
Just like I thought.
Come crawling back to me.
Dream on, brother.
Look, I know I'm an alum, but...
You want to sing.
Mm-hmm.
No.
Why not? You know I can sing.
Yes, you can sing...
In church on Sunday
with other people.
Excuse me?
Jaleesa, you sound good
in front of a bunch
of testifying friends.
"Sing jaleesa! Girl!
Woo! Get it!"
I need some acts
that are smoking...
Some people who can
set the stage on fire.
Some James brown.
Ladies.
Walter, have a seat,
because this number
is a four-alarm fire.
Right.
£ lost £
£ in a dream £
£ and I don't know
which way to go £
£ let me tell you that £
£ if you're all that you seem £
£ then, baby, I'm moving £
£ way too slow, yeah £
£ I been fooled before £
£ wouldn't like
to get my love caught £
£ in the slammin' door £
£ how about some information £
£ please? £
your hair's on fire.
£ straight up, now, tell me £
£ do you really
wanna love me forever? £
we'll raise the $15,000.
$15,000. That's right.
That's what we need
to keep operation outreach
reaching out to these children
in the community,
with tutoring, counseling,
hot lunches, field trips.
We want to keep
operation outreach
reaching out to these kids,
giving them some self esteem.
We want them off the streets
and on the road to college.
For the next three hours,
you'll see the talents
of hillman college students
and the local community,
and this talent is gonna
knock your socks off.
But this is not
just a talent show.
This is a telethon, so we
want you to get on the phone
and show your appreciation, and
call that toll-free number:
5-5-5-give.
Yes! Our first pledge already.
Look what we got.
Five dollars from wynona Hendrix
and her lovely sister,
aquenetta.
Thank you so much for pooling...
Go ahead and sit down children.
Thank you so much
for pooling your piggy banks.
Let's go to the tote board.
This is our lovely hostess
vanna black.
Ron, drum roll, please.
People, we have less
than three hours left
and we are $14,995 away
from our goal.
So let's get busy!
First up, we have
the slamming, jamming
operation outreach demons.
Hit it!
Ow!
Ooh!
I bet we make a million dollars.
You're tripping.
Nobody cares about us.
Beautiful, my precious...
Hey everybody, we're on
our way. And remember
why we're here.
That's for one purpose.
To raise enough money
to send colonel Taylor's son
back to Germany.
Just playing, pee wee.
If you want to see when
you're on Terrence is
the man to see.
£ mi £
£ ah ha ha £
£ ah. £
your cry has attracted
the game warden.
Yes, I've been hunted
and caught.
How's the stand-up coming?
Hey, man, I'm ready.
I'm going to kill.
You ready for this?
I'm ready.
Are you ready?
Ready?
I'm ready man.
Huh?
Wait, wait, wait.
Ahem.
My neighborhood is so rough,
we don't recycle...
We reload.
Wait, I got another one.
This is a good one.
Uh-huh?
How many South Africans
does it take
to screw in a light bulb?
How many?
I don't know.
They won't let me in the house.
That's cool.
You like that one?
Terrence, put down Dwayne
for the finale.
If he bombs, can I dance?
You'll be dancing.
Whoo!
Whoa, yes, yes.
Those phones
are jumping off the hook now.
Oh, goodness!
Look at this!
Let's go to the tote board.
Black vanna, what's up?
Walter, we've got $1,945.
Yes, we do.
$1,945, we got a new total
and we still have two and a
half hours to go.
Oh yes. Keep operation
outreach reaching out.
Keep these phones ringing.
And right now we're
going to go outside.
We got Freddie and Matthew
collecting contributions.
Freddie, what's happening
out there?
Hi, Walter.
We're outside the station.
People are just
dropping off donations.
So far, we've collected $200
and one crate
of canned cling peaches.
If you're dropping off fruit
please put it in its own juice
and not the syrup.
It's so bad.
Freddie, it's only
a three-hour telethon.
Walter: Thank you Freddie!
Let's go down and meet these
hardworking phone volunteers.
Right now we have
colonel Bradford Taylor,
thsi is a much-decorated
Vietnam war hero.
By the way, if you're listening
Hollywood, Oliver stone,
black men contributed more
to the Vietnam war effort
than just a motown soundtrack.
Who's on the phone, colonel?
Well, Walter, we have
the Morgan family
and they're donating $125.
Whoo!
Thank you so much,
Morgan family.
And tell all the people, tell
your neighbors, please.
Right over here we have
one of my favorite people.
He's in charge
of food administration.
He's the king of fine cuisine.
Mr. Vernon gaines.
What?
No, but this is
for the children!
How do you get off
giving such a measly amount?
You know what I think?
You're cheap.
That's right, cheap.
Get off the phone, velma.
Oh, velma's his wife.
He can talk to her like that.
Vernon, it's velma
on this line here.
She says you're sleeping
on the couch tonight.
Right now we have
a special guest...
Hold it!
Just a moment.
Brother, what's up?
Hey, I'm sorry.
I'm Larry, of Larry's floors
and I'm here to give
operation outreach
a check for $1,000.
God bless you, brother.
Thank you so much.
Because at Larry's floors
we believe the children
are our future.
Yes, they are.
Larry's floors.
We strip, we stain,
we even polyurethane.
I can't believe it!
And we will shellac
on special request.
A Larry's floor
is a flawless floor.
I bet you it is.
Where's the check?
Check?
The money.
I must have left that
at the executive offices
of Larry's floors.
Why don't you slide down there
by special request
and go get it?
Ladies and gentlemen,
we have a special treat for you.
We have hillman's own
miss Kim Reese
singing "inseparable."
Do it to them, baby.
£ inseparable £
£ that's how we'll always be £
£ inseparable £
£ just you and me £
£ it's so wonderful £
£to know that
you'll always be around me £
£ incredible £
£ what you are to me £
£ incredible £
£ you bring out
the woman in me £
£ with your style of love £
£ inseparable £
£ yes, we are... £
up two, three, four,
five, six, seven, eight.
Sorry about that, Ellis.
Down in the split.
And up, two.
And touch and touch.
Whoa!
I love this part.
You boys are so strong.
I could stay up here
all day long.
- Thank you.
- Hey David...
Mmm, she sure is fine.
You hear what she said to me?
Get that hair out your ear.
She was talking to me
through most of that rehersal.
Man, you're doing the same
thing we did with Rhonda.
Be glad I took Rhonda
off your hands.
£ ...Blow our thing £
£ we're just inseparable £
£ that's how it is £
£ inseparable £
£ for the rest of our years £
£ it's so wonderful £
£ to know £
£ you'll always be £
£ around. £
Everybody, guess what?
Good news.
We have raised over $6,000.
Fantabulous.
Oh, yeah?
Where is it?
Yo, they don't just put the
money in your hands,
they don't bring the
money in shoe boxes.
They send in checks.
Man, this program gonna be
gone like the last one.
Oh, is it so?
We're gonna make
$15,000 and then some.
All right?
All right, because I
know what I'm doing.
I called Jerry Lewis.
I know how to run a telethon.
Mr. Gaines:
Hey are we up yet?
Mr. Gaines, we need you
on the phones.
No, they don't.
They hardly ringing.
Better call Jerry Lewis again.
Bring it on home.
Get ready.
Okay, here we go, baby.
Come on home.
Easy.
Hey!
I'm giving the folks an encore.
No, no, no.
Did you come to challenge?
No. Get off the stage.
I'm giving the folks an encore.
Hold on, Vernon.
We already did five encores.
It's vaudeville protocol.
Give the folks what they want.
I'm giving you an encore.
What do ya'll want?
All:
Get off the stage!
You got to give the folks
what they want.
I'd like to thank Vernon gaines
and colonel Taylor
for their never, never,
ever, ever-ending rendition
of "Lou's blues
and his funky tap shoes."
Now, let's go to the phone bank.
Ron, drum roll, please.
What's the matter here people?
Somebody forget to pay
the phone bill?
You're not calling like before.
We got less than an hour left.
Now, get out of the fridge
and get on the phone.
I'm not asking, I'm begging.
Please, send the
money. Please.
Kinu, kinu, you're up next.
Dwayne...
What?
I can't remember a single lyric.
Don't worry.
It's just a couple of rows
of very friendly people.
Don't forget the millions
who will be watching on TV.
It's just
a local program, whitley.
But most people have satellites.
I'm sure this thing
will be airing in India.
Good luck, kila da-da.
Ladies and gentlemen,
kinu Owens.
£ hey, mister melody £
£ you're on my mind constantly £
£ and I think of you
the whole day long £
£ you are my melody £
£ you mean all the world to me £
£ without you
I would have no song £
£ ah, ah, ah, oh, yeah £
£ scu-be-du-be-du-ya £
£ scu-be-du-be-du-ya £
£ du-be-du-be £
£ du-ya-du-ya-du-ya-du-ya £
£ du-ya £
£ scu-be-du-be-du-ya £
£ du-be-du-be £
£ du-be-du-be £
£ du-doi-du-doi-du-doi £
£ mister melody £
£ you make me sing... £
I hear they're loving her
in Calcutta, too.
Mmm! Mmm!
£ whee! Mister melody £
£ mister melody £
£ yeah £
Right now, let's bring out
miss whitley Gilbert
and the fabulous
Braxton brothers
doing their tribute
to Josephine baker.
£ j'ai deux amours £
£ mon pays et Paris £
£ par eux toujours £
£ mon coeur est Ravi. £
£ ow! Ow! £
£ j'ai deux amours £
£ mon pays et Paris. £
Wait a minute.
My feet!
Ah!
Ooh, give them some love!
You hang in there, baby.
I think this belongs to you.
Let's go to the tote board.
Where are we standing?
The same place we were
an hour ago...
Whitley:
Let me down,
please.
$7,134.
Yes, indeedy.
People aren't leaving
contributions here.
Maybe they're outside
with Matthew and Freddie
just hanging out.
Whitley: Please
let me down!
Freddie, take it away.
Hi, Walter.
We're right where we were
two hours ago... $250,
but, I'm really trying.
Please stop.
Walter, nobody cares about us.
People see us and they start
rolling up their windows
and locking their doors
and stuff.
Somebody's listening.
Who is it?
Mrs. Estelle Douglas.
What's estelle pledging?
She pledges
to kill Larry of Larry floors.
Something about linoleum warped.
Speak of the devil,
here's Larry now.
I just want to say
to Mrs. Estelle Douglas,
that Larry's floors is not
responsible for her problem.
I told her
to keep your fat son
off the linoleum,
till the adhesive dried.
Forget the fat son
and give us the fat check.
Right here.
This is an official
Larry's floors company check
for $1,000.
Whoo, all right.
Thank you, Larry
of Larry's floors.
What can I say about this check?
I wouldn't deposit that
for a couple of days
if I were you.
People, where are you?
I tell you what.
If this next performer
doesn't inspire you
nothing will.
Let's bring out the comic genius
of Dwayne Wayne.
Hey, Dwayne Wayne, come on down.
Make the people laugh.
Uh... ah...
Whoo! Ain't he funny?
Tell a joke, brother.
Uh... uh...
Why did the chicken
cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Tell a good joke, okay?
Uh, how many South Africans
does it take
to put on a light
when they're not in the house?
Are you okay?
Tell them about the
rough neighborhood
you're from.
It was rough, Walter.
How rough was it?
Oh, it was rough, Walter.
I bet I wouldn't want
to live there.
No, no.
Okay. Could somebody
come get this brother
off the stage right now.
The lovely kinu Owens.
Get him out of here.
You know what, people?
Let's get serious for a
second here.
One of the kids
said that nobody cares
but that's a lie.
You do care.
At least you cared
two and a half hours ago.
Ten seconds?
Please give some money!
Call 555-give.
We're off the air.
I'm sorry, Walter.
I choked.
Nah, you just stank.
People quit calling
long before you.
But still...
Hey, wait a minute.
Only one cupcake per customer.
Only one per customer.
Oh, lord...
Hey, Dion.
Now you never been one
to pass up free vittles.
I'm not hungry.
Not hungry?
Not even for a double-Dutch
chocolate fudge
devil food cupcake?
We didn't raise enough money.
What's that got to do
with a cupcake?
I can't come here anymore.
Hush that foolish talk.
But Walter promised
we'd raise the money.
You're not raising anything
sitting here.
All these people
worked hard for you.
It's time for you
to get off of your little butt
and do something.
Could you spare a quarter
for operation outreach?
Maybe a dollar?
Mr. Gaines:
There you go.
Everybody, hold it down.
Walter, you're the only one
who hasn't made a donation.
What's this for?
Operation outreach.
Cough up a dollar.
Was this your idea?
No, my mama's.
Now cough up a dollar.
You all right, man.
Ya'll better get
this party started.
This ain't no funeral.
I've got to get my beauty rest.
Go home to velma.
That's my boy.
Go colonel! Go colonel!