A Different World (1987–1993): Season 3, Episode 14 - Pride and Prejudice - full transcript

£ I know my parents loved me £

£ stand behind me
come what may £

£ I know now that I'm ready £

£ for I finally heard them say £

£ it's a different world £

£ than where you come from £

£ yes, it is now, yeah £

£ here's our chance to make it £

£ and if we focus on our goal £

£ you can dish it,
we can take it £

£ hey, just remember
that you've been told £



£ it's a different world £

£ it's a different world £

£ it's a different world £

£ than where you come from £

£ ooh £

£ than where you come from £

well, here you go,
one sleeping bag.

It's a little beat up,
but it is so warm.

That will work.

I store it
in a mixture of moth balls

pine cones, pine needles
and hickory chips.

So that way it always smells
like the wilderness.

Oh, that it does, Freddie!

You got everything you need
for the weekend in this
little bitty bag?



Hey, I'm going on an r.O.T.C.
Retreat.

I'm not gonna bring a bunch of
junk so I can standout
like an idiot civilian.

All right, Dwayne, let's go...

Got everything I need, brother.

You look like you read to
run away from home, bro.

Trust me, thin man, I got this
survival weekend beat.

You know I've lived in the wild.

Where?

I was born in phily...

Corner of 53rd and girard.

People had wolves
instead of dogs.

Well, we gonna show these army
grunts

that they have nothing
on us athletes, or what?

Athletes?

Hey, I'm on the baseball team.

No, my brother, you on
the baseball bench.

Hi.

Bye.

Ready to go?

Oh, goodness.

Sure you're ready for this?

Hey Walter, I was the most
decorated boy scout in
troop 1294

till my mom yanked me out.

Why?

I was always decorated
with poison oak.

Oh, well, let's go, itchy. We
don't wanna be late.

Excuse me.

Where are you rushing off to?

Oh, I forgot tomorrow's my
daddy's birthday.

I have to buy a present

and send it by this afternoon.

No, he's won't but his
"romper room" wife will.

Monica will crawl out
of the crib

just in time to tell him

that his ungrateful daughter
forgot his birthday.

But you did.

But if I send it
express mail by 4:00

I didn't.

Well, can I come with you?

I gotta get a new pair of
birkenstocks.

Plus, I just love
to watch you power shop.

Cha-cha-ching.

Cha-cha-ching.

Freddie...

Freddie, honey, you can
come with me.

Don't make that noise in public.

Uh-huh, that will get
your attention.

Alright, our main objective
this weekend

is to expose civilians
to army training.

Because we all know

that the key to survival
is fitness.

Hey, hey, don't worry about me,
I'm in good shape.

Yeah, well, if you say so.

Now, over the next two days

you will obtain points
for each test.

Now, we're gonna start with
the reaction course.

It's a grueling test
of strength and endurance.

Some of you may want to sit
this out.

I got 50 bucks
to make you eat your words.

Fifty dollars?

Let the challenge begin!

Mr. Wayne.

Do it, Dwayne.

Over!
Over!

Alright!
Do it brother!

All right, let's go!

Come on, Johnson,
come on, Johnson.

Good going.

Okay, oaks, rise and climb!

Rise and climb!

Come on, oaks, come on, oaks.

Come on, oaks.

Well now, maybe you ought
to give me that $50 right now

just might lighten your load.

Piece of cake.

Come on Ford, show him
how to do it.

Use the other rope.
Come on, Ford, take it down.

Come on, soldier.

Come on, there you go!

There you go!

Not bad.

No, the rope won't help you.

It's not the rope.
It's not the rope.

Come on there, d.

Ah, not bad, 8.5 seconds.

Okay.
8.5 seconds

how do you like me now?

I like you fine.

I did it in 8.2!

Yeah, 'cause you're experienced.

You crawl out that, but I
bet I'll get you on this
balance beam.

Oak tree, one, drain pipe, zip.

Uh-oh, what's the matter?

Looks like that score
just changed.

Backpack got caught
on something.

You know, Walter,
since I don't have my camera

man, I'm going to have
to talk about youuu!

Okay, Ford, Bennett,
help him on out of this
thing here.

Ooh! Well, well, well...

No wonder you took so long.

Yeah, you just stopped in
there to do a little shopping.

Can we just get on
with the next event, please?

There you go.
There you go.

There you go. Good,
keep it moving.

Alright, come on, keep it
moving. Keep it moving.

Keep it moving.
Come on, Walter,
let's go.

Good. Good.

That's nice.

All right, Wayne.

You're starting
to get on my nerves.

Come on, oak man.

Now, now, I hope you didn't get

my money dirty.

Wow.

Now this

is a place to do
some serious shopping.

Yes. Du monde's
is the Monica killer.

The cheapest thing in here
would make her gift

look like it came out
of a gum ball machine.

Watch your elbows.

This isn't a piano bar.

I want this.

Excuse me.

Hello, miss?

Yes?

Hi, I'd like to look at some
men's watches, please.

Fine they're right
down here in this end of this
case.

I can see that.

But I might want
a closer look, please.

Well, I'd have to get the key
from my manager.

Why don't you do that?

Oh, look at these pearls!

Fake.

I can't tell the difference.

You just keep shopping
at hazeen's sparkle-rama.

Here's one that may suit you.

Miss, I'm not looking
for a watch for tinkerbell.

It's for my daddy.

I'd like a gold watch, please.

Like that one.

You do realize
it's not gold plate.

Good. Then the gold
won't rub off

when you take it
out of the case.

Gold plate.

Oh, hold my purse.

It's a very expensive watch.

That is why I like it.

It's got
"eat your heart out, Monica"

written all over it.

Along with your fingerprints.

Whitley, can I talk to you
for a moment, please?

Excuse me.

Surely.

I think that we should leave.

Why?

Because I just... I don't like
this woman's "attitude."

I don't like her breath.

Somebody should
give her a tic-tac.

Well, it's very obvious that
she doesn't want our business.

Our business?

Yes, she didn't exactly

rush to your assistance.

Look at that rinky-stinky
watch she showed you...

Even I wouldn't wear it.

Freddie, if anything

she took one look
at this Billy Jean king wear

and decided that I couldn't
afford to shop here.

Your co-ordinates
for the color blind

don't help matters any.

Good afternoon, madam.

Is there something
here I can show you
at du monde's?

Look, I have seen
and heard enough.

Let's get out of here.

Not leaving until I get my daddy
a birthday present.

Fine. I'll see you
back at the dorm.

Hmm. I'd rather shop
at hazeen's sparkle-rama.

Excuse me.

I'd like to see
these watches again, please.

I have a customer.

I know... me.

I was here first.

Amy, I believe
this lady is right, she was
here first.

Someone will be with you
in just a moment.

Are you going to buy
the gold watch?

No, Amy, I'm not.

I'm going to buy
the golden diamond watch.

You do realize it's considerably
more than the other one?

Do you see concern on my face?

In fact...

Throw in one of those
tennis bracelets.

Money clips...
Two of those, please.

And gold key chains, not plated.

We don't have a layaway plan.

And a few of these.

And how will you be paying
for this?

Let me see...

Which one of
my many credit cards

will I use today?

My purse...

Is with Freddie.

I'll be right back.

Of course you will.

Freddie!

You got my purse, girl!

I cannot believe that
you bought all this stuff.

I don't believe
I asked you for your opinion

I don't believe I asked you
to go shopping with me in the
first place

and I certainly didn't ask you

to ride with your head out the
window like a sheepdog.

What's going on?

Hi.
Hi, Kim.

I took paranoid Polly here
to the mall.

She left me stranded
at du monde's

with no wallet, no credit cards,
and an ounce of pride.

I finally tracked her down

feeding corn nuts
to a boa constrictor at some
pet shop.

It was a gopher snake.

Does it matter?

The point is

I had to track all the way
back to du monde's.

I whipped out my wallet
and I said

here.. "Pick a card, any card."

You should have seen
the manure-munching grin

on that saleswoman's face.

I showed her.

And gave a hefty commission

to a woman who
treated her like she
had the plague.

She didn't even want to take
the watches out of the
display case.

I'll admit she wasn't
the most attentive.

Well, she was attentive
to certain things.

Probably boiled
everything we touched.

Freedie, she didn't want me
touching the merchandise

because she thought
I was too poor.

She thought you were too black.

She pratically burned rubber
trying to get the white
customer.

Oh, Freddie!

Freddie's just talking
out the side of her neck.

Whitley, even if you only
had two dollars

you shouldn't have been
treated like that.

You need to take that
stuff back.

And have that woman think
I can't afford it?!

Can you?

No.

Whitley...

As long as you continue to
shop there

you encourage
her funky attitude.

Now, this reminds me of the time
that I was traveling

with my very good friend

Floyd ambris,
Dr. Floyd ambris.

Now, he was one of the first few
black surgeons of the time.

And I met him in the war.

Oh no, not the war again.

We were in the lobby
of the hotel Winston

getting ready to see
the floor show

in the famous blue room

when this couple handed
Dr. Ambris three dollars

and said, "take our luggage
to our room, boy."

No, they didn't?

And they wanted
a wake-up call, too.

I stood there thinking...

"when Floyd goes off

"this is going
to be good."

But he never did.

Well, he should've. He
should've told him he was
a doctor

and set them straight.

Floyd said it wasn't necessary.

He knew who he was.

But he kept that
three-dollar tip.

Got us a front table
to see the floor show.

That couple is still probably
looking for their luggage...

If they ever woke up.

All right, it's 1500 hours...

That's 3:00
to you civvies.

Yeah man, just show us the map,
please.

Well, if we take this path,
we'll capture the most flags.

No, no, no if we take your
path, what we're gonna
capture is last place.

I'll show you.

You capture the most
difficult flags first.

If there's time,
come back for the rooty-pooks.

Check this out.

We follow the stream south
to this area here.

Are those supposed to be trees?

This is a mountain.

That is nobody's mountain.

It looks like a sombrero.

This is the snow line.

At best, it's a cowboy hat.

Not a very good one.

We will go north at the hat.

I know this terrain.

It will take us
at least 40 minutes

to capture a flag.

Nod your head and act like
you're following me.

To reach points a, b and c
within 1600 hours

the probability is 90%.

That's the only way we can
collect all of the flags.

I say we stick with
military strategy.

Gomer, everybody will use
military strategy.

Because it works.

This is not an easter egg hunt
at aunt pauline's.

I know that

although I did win
that easter egg hunt

at aunt pauline's.

Are we going to do this
the right way or his way?

If it's between
general patton and aunt pauline

I'll pick the general.

Okay, fine.

I'll be at the finish line
sipping kool aid.

You going to be sipping
a big, bare pine cone.

Units one and two have searched

the southwest
and southeast quadrants.

Still no sign of missing party.

We'll check the mountains.

No, sergeant Johnson.

Nobody would be stupid enough
to wander into those mountains.

Colonel, we're talking
about Dwayne Wayne.

Comb the mountains.

We'll stay here
in case he wanders back.

Affirmative.

Johnson out.

Okay.

Well, I hope we find him
before dark.

I hope so, too.

Dwayne still sleeps
with a night-light on.

I noticed you've lost
a little pep in your step.

I got muscles left.

They're all screaming out
for Ben-gay.

You know, you win.

Keep your money.

It's the only thing on me

that's not black and blue.

I'll take it before
we rub the face off.

Are you worried about the kid?

Dwayne?

No way.

Look, over those mountains...

On the other side of them...

That's the golf course,
a country club.

To the east, the drive-in.

We'll find Dwayne
on the 18th hole

or putting extra butter
on his popcorn

at the concession stand.

I always thought the army
was a place you went

when you had no job,
nowhere to go

wanted to date ugly women.

But after this weekend...

It's just been one day.

I'm lucky I never
had to fight in a war.

So is america.

Ooh, jaleesa, good.

Could you put
your finger here, please?

Sure.

That's nice.

Did I use the wrong finger?

I've wrapped this dumb thing
seven times.

Oh, is that the watch?

Yes.

Really, this is it?

I expected this thing to be
four feet long

with diamonds
as big as your head.

Jaleesa, this is a watch
of the finest quality.

14-karat gold link bracelet

florentine face

and diamond bezel, of course.

I'm sure your dad will love it.

He wouldn't be caught dead
in this gaudy piece of junk.

What?!

My father's a judge

not a televangelist.

Then why did you buy it?

Please, don't you start!

I've heard it all day from
the morality police...

Officers Kim and Freddie.

I know...

I'll go to Mr. Sid's.

Get a nice cashmere
glove and scarf set.

Monica will never think of that.

She's the polyester queen.

So you are returning the watch?

No, I'm not returning anything.

I will not give that saleswoman
the satisfaction.

Good idea.

Punish her with
a four-figure sale.

She treated me like a cat hair
on a black wool jacket.

If I return this stuff,
she'll just think I'm nothing.

Well, whitley, who cares
what she thinks?

What do you think?

Would you think you were nothing

if you couldn't buy this watch?

I don't know.

You are intelligent

and that's got
nothing to do with money.

You're strong, persistent...

Very persistent...

And that's something
you can't buy

at Gucci's, pucci's or lucci's

and definitely
not at du monde's.

But, jaleesa, this afternoon

I was strong and persistent
and intelligent.

I was even very polite.

And she just refused to see it!

When you have got
her kind of ignorance

none of that matters.

The only thing that
people like that ever see

is a "little black girl."

Well, I'm not a little anything.

I'm a black woman,
and I'm proud of it.

There you go.

I'm not taking this any longer.

She is not getting away
with this.

Just return this stuff.

Isn't that a little extreme?

We searched the entire perimeter
of the camp.

No sign of him.

I'll check the country club.

I'll check the drive-in.

They got some good hot dogs
there.

Well, Mr. Wayne,
nice of you to drop in.

If you've been playing golf,
you're a dead man.

Hey, find any
easter eggs, chief?

Shut up.

You're not my friend.

This is my only friend.

She came this close
to being my only lunch.

What happened, man?

It was dark, cold.

I thought I'd never see
another human again.

I thought I'd have to forget
how to speak, walk on all fours

eat berries and bugs, eat Janet.

Janet?!

Miss Jackson to you.

That was a good one.

Thank goodness you're back.

I'm better than back.

As of 2200 hours

this civilian has won
the flag competition.

I got five flags.

Five flags?

These two are from
the golf course.

Shouldn't that count
for something?

It should, man.

I've played that course before.

Those are two tough holes.

Hey, why are you
scratching like that?

Poison oak.

Itchy strikes again.

Hello, is there something
you'd like to see?

Just Amy, please.

Well, hello again.

Hello, Amy.

Love that brooch.

Brings out
the fire in your eyes.

Slight problem, aim.

I need to return a few things.

You're returning everything?

Each and every item.

That means you won't collect
commission on them.

Isn't that a shame?

Well, que sera.

It's only money.

Refund, please.

Typical.

Typical for whom?

People with pointy heads?

Buck-toothed people?

Big-eared people?

Or is it just black people?

I don't know what
you're talking about.

I wish you really were
playing dumb.

Merci beaucoup.

Those are awfully pretty.

Yes, aren't they exquisite?

Emeralds.

That's my birthstone.

My mother was cursed
with turquoise.

Can you imagine living your life
with that tacky stone?

These would be
wonderful for you.

Care to try them on?

Well...

I'd like to

but I won't.

Not in this store.

Is there a problem?

Ask Amy.

She seems to have a problem
with customers like me.

Amy...

I'd like to talk to you...

In my office.

No.

No!

Don't you call my name.

Don't you call it.

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