A Different World (1987–1993): Season 2, Episode 22 - There's No Place Like Home - full transcript

As the semester comes to an end, students make plans for the summer.

£ I know my parents loved me £

£ stand behind me
come what may £

£ I know now that I'm ready £

£ for I finally heard them say £

£ it's a different world £

£ than where you come from £

£ yes, it is now, yeah £

£ here's our chance to make it £

£ and if we focus on our goal £

£ you can dish it,
we can take it £

£ hey, just remember
that you've been told £

£ it's a different world £

£ it's a different world £

£ it's a different world £

£ than where you come from £

£ ooh £

£ than where you come from £

I know this is finals week

and you have work to avoid

but I'll make this quick.

Get your housing forms in
by Friday, 5 P.M.

Or you will be pitching
a pup tent in the quad.

Act now!

No late forms will be accepted.

If it isn't
my two future campers.

Walter, these last
couple of years

you've always been there for us

and we'll never forget you.

We'll miss you, buddy.

The summer ain't long enough
for me to miss you.

You'll miss us next September.

While you're laying out
the dorm rules

we'll be laying out by the pool

of our apartment
at villa monte cristo.

Check this out.

Two and a half bedrooms,
one and a half baths...

Microwave oven,
trash compactor...

With a balcony
and a view of our pool.

Which is right next to

our jacuzzi.

You two non-working


do not have enough money
to afford this place.

Wrong again, hot tub breath.

They have to set aside
ten apartments at student rates.

Between his scholarship

and the money
my daddy's giving me

for maintaining
my straight "c" average

we are in like Flynn.

The dorm won't be the same.

The place will be clean.

Pretty girls will
hang around for once.

This Sunday night

we're having a couple dozen
of our closest friends over

to bid a fond farewell
to our sophomore year.

And a fonder hello
to our new pad.

Shall I slip a couple of shrimp
on the Barbie for you, mate?

Sounds like a plan.

The villa monte cristo.

This ain't bad.

You want to know the best part?

This lady is not just a model.

She lives in the building.

She's our neighbor.

Just the kind of woman

you might want to borrow
some sugar from.

Ladies, guess who will not be
spending the summer

cruising the mediterranean
with her mother?

Besides you.

I have accepted a position
at the Adams museum of art.

Assistant coordinator
of public acquisitions.

So you got that job selling
souvenirs in the gift shop.

Yes, I did.

But I would peel chewing gum
off the marble statues.

I'm just thrilled
to be joining those

that work hard for their money.

Whoa! This is the biggest news
since man landed on the moon.

I don't care what
raggedy Ann has to say.

So how's mama taking the news?

She is livid, livid, livid.

But I told her, "look, mama.

I'm working this summer
and that is it."

I wonder what I'll do
with that extra $75 a week?

I thought this was
a full-time job?

It is.


What are you making
in the medical lab?

Oh, about the same.

How close to the same?

About three-twenty-five.


$3.25 an hour
is barely minimum wage.

Research assistants
do very important work.

It's $325 a week.

$325 a week to baby-sit
a bunch of rats?

A person's worth isn't measured
by what they make.

That is obvious.

At least I'll be enriching
my soul this summer

not my pocketbook

while you'll be chasing
after rodents

with a little rat

Hi, Vernon.

Look at this trash.

I can't wait for vacation.

Then these children
can take their garbage home

to the people
who gave them life.


I need some of your
high-octane coffee.

Don't pour it.

I'll just spoon it from the pot.

Those deep worry lines

got "children" written
all over them.

Every year I can't wait
to see their smiling faces

when they arrive.

Then I can't wait
to see their backs when they go.


Our party is really shaping up.

We've got music

paper goods and seashell
soaps for the bathroom.

Now we need the food.


I'm on my break.

Ron and I got an apartment

and wanted to invite you
to a housewarming.

Sunday, 8:00.

That's very sweet.

What can I bring?

The food.

Just ignore him.

Bring yourself.

And some of those
deviled eggs you make.

And pasta salad.

I can never get enough
of your pasta salad.

Oh, and a big plate of veggies.

Anything else?

Just bring yourself.

Oh, thanks.

That takes care of the food.

Money, money, money.

Instead of playing poker

why don't you just write me
a check every Thursday?

It would save wear and tear
on these cards.

I'd like to check
those cards for marks.

That's your game.

These cards are fine.

All 53 of them.

Deal, man.

I'm ready for my next fleecing.

That's the last you'll see
of my money till September.

Those kids at day camp
will take your life savings.

We're not playing cards
this summer.

Last year they got everything.

I worked at a camp one summer.

Camp tapawingo.

That's Indian for
"happy land in the hills."

It should have meant

"wild children blowing jello
through their noses."

I'm looking forward
to a good summer.

The last kids leave at 6:00.

At 6:01, my brother and I
jump into the car

go home,
splash on some old spice

jump into the convertible,
hit all the hot spots.

What's miss vinson doing while
you're splashing on old spice?

Installing cable TV in Camden.

I'll see her
every couple of weeks.

I've worn old spice.

I know what that does to women.

I'm an aqua velva man myself.

I couldn't stand the traffic
from the old spice.

I hear you.

I'm just looking forward
to spending some time

with my brother.

And the sisters.


Man, did you write these
with your feet?

And if you did,
are your feet clean?

Walter, I am so glad
you're sitting down.

Instead of installing
cable television this summer

I have been promoted
to sales representative.

I'll be handling all
of southern New Jersey

as well as
northern Pennsylvania.

I believe that's your
neck of the woods.

That's my neck all right.

They're giving me a company car.

We can spend
every weekend together.

Oh, that's beautiful.

When you say every weekend

do you mean, like,
every weekend?

And if I do a little bit
of overtime

they said,
maybe wednesdays, too.

Ooh, wednesdays, too?

How much good news
can one man take?

Come on, Walter,
you're supposed to be

putting your arms around me

nibbling on my ear

jumping up and down for joy.

Trust me, inside I'm jumping.

I'm like, whoa, jump!


Okay, I understand now.

You don't want me to visit you.

Oh, no, no, no.

It's not that.

It's just that on every weekend

I'll be taking the children
on field trips

and wednesdays, too.

What's her name, Walter?

Jaleesa, you're jumping
to conclusions.

Am I jumping to
the wrong conclusions?

Since when did you
start wearing old spice?

It's a good thing
I bumped into you two.

We need some chairs...

We don't need them
till Sunday now.

What's happening, brothers?

You won't see me here next year.

Got a new pad.

Yes, I do.

Oh, I'm going to have such
a good time in my new place.

This is lovely.

What are you doing?

Hey, man, I'm getting in shape
for the good life.

You bought this stuff?

I figured the smell
of burning coals

would lure our new neighbor
onto our terrace.

She might not be
our new neighbor.

Oh, no, she moved?

Not exactly.

You're about to find out
how fast this hibachi can fly.

When my daddy found out
I got that "d" in Latin

he pulled the plug
on my credit card

ergo, the pad.

You better duck.

This hibachi has
a dufus-seeking mechanism.

You're overreacting.

I'm overreacting?

Because of you,
we lost our housing

ergo, we have no place to live.

Worse, I have no place to live.

I'm going to break your neck.

Look, I found another place

to replace the old place.

La grenad.

That's French for the grenad.

Have you seen this place?


Not exactly.

How could you take a place
sight unseen?

It's not just any old place.

We're subletting from none other
than slick Rick gilmore.

The dude with the red Porsche
and leather clothes?

One and the same.

When can we see it?

Slick Rick is moving out now.

The apartment manager's
meeting us in the morning.

Don't you feel silly for
doubting your old buddy?

This better be good.

It's going to be good.

-== [ www.OpenSubtitles.org ] ==-

This is a lesson.

Never trust anyone who dresses
like a bucket seat.

Look, a piano.

The place has possibilities.

The only improvement
would be a three-alarm fire.

I've seen worse.

Only in communist countries.

I can't live here.

Slick Rick said
partially furnished

not partial furniture.

Oh, no.
A cockroach.

That's a raisin, man.

Thank goodness.

That's a cockroach.


Don't worry, he's going
to get the raisin.

That's it.

I'm calling my daddy.

Maybe you ought to write him.

When that apartment
manager gets here

I'm going to give him
a piece of my mind.

Oh, my goodness.

Mr. Gaines, you're the manager?

No, velma is.

She's off visiting her sister.

They're twins.

I married one.

Can't stand the other one.

Oh, my goodness.

You've only been here
five minutes

and the place looks like
a tornado hit it.

This is how it was
when we got here.

Are there any other
apartments here?

23, but you rented this one.

I cannot live here.

You can live anyplace you want

as long as you give me
the rent on this one.

Or you can deal with velma.

She loves to go to court.

Gives her an excuse
to buy a hat.

How about a couple
of coats of paint?

That's a nice suggestion.

Be sure and use
long, smooth strokes.

Don't let me catch you
using no cheap roller.

And don't hesitate
to call me if you need me.

And by the way,
welcome to the grenad.

I can't believe
I messed up this bad.

I told Susan, Debbie,
yvette and Margie

they could be queens
in my kingdom

not maids in my dungeon.

You didn't do that bad.

It's better than the dorm.

We're our own bosses here.

In the dorm,
we don't have freedom.

Here, we have independence.

Here, we have cockroaches.

Think of all the one's
that died under the door.

For the last two weeks,
all he's been saying is

"this is our last movie
until September."

Then I go through
all this trouble

to make it possible
to be with the man

and he says he'll be busy

toasting marshmallows
with some campers.

I'm sorry, what were you saying?

You haven't listened
to a single word I've said.

I heard every word.

You're angry with Walter

because he went to the movies

and didn't toast his watermelon.

Yeah, you didn't miss a thing.

Excuse me, that's my bundt cake.

Go on, I'm listening.

I thought we had
an understanding.

I really believed...

I have some
wonderful news to share.

Good luck.

I don't know if
you two have heard

but this summer,
I'll be a working girl.

Oh, no!
My ravioli exploded.

I could have been
frittering away my days

playing shuffleboard on
the s.S. Sea Princess with mama.

But instead I chose
to serve my public

in a position that could
be a stepping-stone

to an exciting,
fulfilling career.

Oh, my trout is burning.

I didn't expect you
to pull your pogo stick

out of the attic

but "attagirl, whitley"
would be appropriate.

So, what are your plans
for the summer?

Why do I feel like I'm not
getting your attention?

You're welcome.

It's the second door
on the left.

Just stand clear
when you open it.

Can I pick an apartment or what?

This place has got it going on.

Put on some slow records.

It's getting funky in there.

The fast dancing
is killing the cockroaches.

Lettie, this pasta casserole
is delicious.

You've got to give me
the recipe.

It's rather complicated.

First you take a pound of pasta

and you overcook it.

Then you take a trout

and char it beyond recognition.

I get it.

It's an old family
secret recipe, right?


This time next year

we'll be together
two whole years.

Do you know what that means?

That means we could
be together for a long time.

A long, long time.

Wednesdays, too.

I wouldn't get
the ball and chain
just yet.

When we finally get together

I don't want to reach
in my pocket

and pull out some wild oats.

I completely understand that.

You do?

You want to have
a summer of freedom.

You are truly a liberated woman.

As a liberated woman

it is my duty to reach
into my pockets

to see if I have any wild oats.

How many wild oats
are you talking about?

I feel a bumper crop
coming on right now.

If you children think

you're going to break your lease

by having wild parties,
think again.

I have friends
on the police force.

They'll drop a dragnet
on this whole orgy.

Okay, guys, one more shot.


This is great.

I'll write you guys every week.

You guys can write me back.

It will be like we
never left each other.

One more shot?

A picture.

Yeah, great.

Hey, what are you
doing out here?

I just wanted some fresh air.

So how do you like our terrace?

There's a certain poetry
to urban decay.

What are you doing
for the summer?

Internship at
kineshiwa electronics.

If you don't see me in September

it's because Dwayne-tendo

has hit the stores.

I bet you always knew
what you wanted to be.

Ever since I was five

I wanted to be Spiderman.

Good hours, great threads.

Then when I was nine

I set my sights
on being Reggie Jackson.

I was 12 when I figured out
I wanted to be an engineer.

Just like Kim.

She always knew
she wanted to be a doctor.

I bet her first words were,
"I do not make house calls."

I envy you ambitious types.

There's got to be something

you've always wanted to do.

Come on.


I always wanted
to be Lola falana.

Get out of here.

I saw her on
the merv Griffin show.

She could sing
and she could dance.

She even made
merv Griffin laugh.

And I said, "I want
to be just like her."

Whitley falana.

Is that still what
you want to be?

I don't know.

Right now, Spiderman's
looking pretty good.


I thought working this summer

would give me
some kind of direction.

Certainly more direction

than cruising
the mediterranean
with my mama.

Wait, back up.

You'd rather work
in a stuffy old museum

than catch some rays with mama?

Don't you think that not working

would be spoiled
and self-indulgent?

Yes! That's
the best part.

You've got your whole life
to be responsible.

If you're not going

I'll go hang out with mama.

I do have this adorable
little string bikini

I've never worn.

Send me a picture, please.

I'll even send you
a postcard or two.

You're an okay guy, Dwayne.

You're okay yourself, whitley.

You know, it's funny.

Here we are,
two pretty okay people

feeling pretty okay
about each other.

Maybe we could...


Mr. Gaines:
Blues chord
right here.

I didn't know
you play the piano.

All you've got to know

is rent is due on the 1st.

Let me show you.

£ get up in the morning £

£ roll out of bed £

£ walk into the pit £

£ take an aspirin for my head £

£ got the blues £

£ got those mean
children blues £

£ can't find no way to lose £

£ these mean children blues £

what you talking about?

£ jukebox is blarin',
folks jumpin' all around £

£ burgers are burnin' £

£ there's trash on the ground £

£ got the blues £

£ yeah yeah £

£ got those mean
children blues £

£ can't find no way to lose £

£ these mean children blues £

£ well, you think
you got problems £

£ I live in this place £

£ girls bang on my door £

£ and start screaming
in my face £

£ I got the blues £

£ got the mean children blues £

£ can't find no way to lose £

£ those mean, mean
children blues £

£ 'cause I'm a part-time mama £

£ I'm a part-time nurse £

£ with all their traumas £

£ things here
couldn't get no worse £

£ I got the blues £

£ got the mean children blues £

go, lettie!
Go, lettie!

£ can't find no way to lose £

£ these mean, mean
children blues £

take it, Vernon.

£they're rude
and they're selfish £

£ act like they don't care £

£ makes me so nervous £

£ that's why I lost my hair £

£ I got the blues £

£ got those mean
children blues £

£ can't find no way to lose £

£ these mean, mean,
mean, mean, mean children £

£ blues £

£ ohhhh £

£ yeahhhh! £

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