A Different World (1987–1993): Season 1, Episode 9 - Romancing Mr. Stone - full transcript

Denise has a crush on her geology professor.

£ I KNOW MY PARENTS LOVE ME £

£ STAND BEHIND ME
COME WHAT MAY £

£ I FOUND OUT THAT I'M READY £

£ BECAUSE I FINALLY
HEARD THEM SAY £

£ IT'S A DIFFERENT WORLD £

£ FROM WHERE YOU COME FROM £

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£ HERE'S A CHANCE TO MAKE IT £

£ IF WE FOCUS ON OUR GOAL £

£ IF YOU DISH IT,
WE CAN TAKE IT £

£ JUST REMEMBER
YOU'VE BEEN TOLD £



£ IT'S A DIFFERENT WORLD £

£ FROM WHERE YOU COME FROM £

£ IT'S A DIFFERENT WORLD £

£ FROM WHERE YOU COME FROM £

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

I'M TRYING TO DECIDE
WHAT TO WEAR.

ALL OVER MY BED?

MY BED'S TOO HIGH.

I GUESS YOU MIGHT
AS WELL GO ON.

YOU'RE ALREADY USING
MY SIDE OF THE CLOSET.

IF WE LIVED IN JAPAN,
THIS WOULD NEVER HAPPEN.

WHAT?

IN PSYCH CLASS

WE'RE LEARNING ABOUT
"BODY BUFFER ZONES."



IN JAPAN, TWO FAMILIES
COULD SHARE A ROOM THIS SIZE.

THAT'S BECAUSE DENISE
ISN'T DUMPING HER KIMONOS

ALL OVER THEIR FUTONS.

NO, IT'S BECAUSE

THEY'VE LEARNED TO LIVE
WITH LESS PERSONAL SPACE.

IN FINLAND, ENTIRE NEIGHBORHOODS
SHOWER TOGETHER

AND IN FRANCE, MANY WOMEN
SHARE THE SAME RESTROOMS.

WE'VE BEEN DOING THE SAME
THING IN BROOKLYN FOR YEARS.

ALL OVER THE WORLD,
PEOPLE SHARE THEIR SPACE

BUT IN AMERICA,
WE'RE "SPACE GUZZLERS."

I'M GOING TO STOP BEING
A "SPACE GUZZLER."

GOOD, DENISE CAN
USE YOUR CLOSET SPACE.

NOT THAT KIND OF SPACE.

THIS KIND OF SPACE.

MAGGIE, WHAT
ARE YOU DOING?

I'M SHOWING YOU IT'S OKAY TO
SHARE YOUR "BODY BUFFER ZONE."

GEE, GREAT, MAGGIE.

WELL, GOT TO GO.

MAGGIE!

GIRLS...

NO NEED TO DANCE WITH
YOURSELVES ANY LONGER.

A GUY DOWNSTAIRS WANTS
TO DRIVE DENISE TO CLASS.

WELL, I WILL GO TAKE UP
LESS SPACE SOMEWHERE ELSE.

( car horn honking )

OOH, IT'S KENT RILEY THE THIRD.

ONE WOULD HAVE BEEN ENOUGH.

I'LL TAKE
CARE OF THIS.

HELLO, KENT?

SHE TRANSFERRED! BYE!

THANKS, JALEESA.

OH, HE SEEMS KIND OF CUTE.

GUYS ARE SO IMMATURE,

ALL THESE GUYS CARE ABOUT
IS WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE.

AND HOW QUICKLY THEY
CAN SEE MORE OF IT.

WELL, DENISE, IT WAS A DATE.

I HAVEN'T GONE OUT IN TWO YEARS.

TWO YEARS?

SIX YEARS, IF YOU
COUNT MY MARRIAGE.

I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL.

I'M SCARED
OF YOU GIRLS.

YOU'RE GOING TO
CLASS LIKE THAT?

DO I HAVE TO DRESS FOR GEOLOGY?

NOT FOR GEOLOGY.

FOR PROFESSOR GUMM'S
REPLACEMENT.

BYRON WALCOTT.

HE'S CUTE, SINGLE,
AND HE HAS HIS OWN TEETH.

HOW CAN YOU RESIST?

I DON'T CARE WHAT HE LOOKS LIKE

IT'S STILL 50 MINUTES
OF ROCKS.

HE'S COMING.

HELLO.

I'M PROFESSOR BYRON WALCOTT.

AS YOU ALL KNOW,
PROFESSOR GUMM

HAD AN UNFORTUNATE ACCIDENT
IN YELLOWSTONE.

SO REMEMBER:

IF YOU'RE ON A FIELD TRIP,
THERE'S REALLY NO SUCH THING

AS AN
INACTIVE
GEYSER.

SO...

I'M GLAD TO SEE ALL YOU
BUDDING ROCK HOUNDS.

WHAT BRINGS YOU
TO GEOLOGY 119?

UM...
AHEM!

WELL, I'VE ALWAYS FELT
THAT SCIENCE WAS SO UNLADYLIKE--

ALL THOSE BEAKERS
AND OLD BONES?

THEN I HEARD ABOUT YOUR CLASS

AND I FELT MAYBE
A WOMAN'S SILLY RESISTANCE

COULD BE BROKEN DOWN
BY A TRULY POWERFUL MAN.

I SEE.

AND HOW ABOUT YOU?

OH, UH...

WELL...

I... ALWAYS LIKED TO
COLLECT ROCKS AS A KID

SO, UH... NOW I HAVE
THE OPPORTUNITY

TO ENJOY THEM AS AN ADULT.

( laughing )

ARE YOU HERE TO FULFILL
YOUR SCIENCE REQUIREMENT?

WELL... YEAH.

SO YOU THINK GEOLOGY
IS PRETTY BORING?

I DIDN'T SAY THAT.

THAT'S ALL RIGHT.

BY THE END OF THIS COURSE

YOU WILL KNOW STALACTITES,
STALAGMITES, GLACIERS

OCEANS, VOLCANOES

JUST AS WELL AS YOU KNOW THE
FURNITURE IN YOUR LIVING ROOM.

I'VE GONE TO THE GRAND CANYON
EVERY SUMMER WITH MY FAMILY

AND I WOULD HAVE PREFERRED
TO STAY IN MY LIVING ROOM.

HAVE YOU EVER THROWN
A PAPER AIRPLANE OVER THE EDGE?

NO.

MY DAD DID.

IT'S A LONG WAY DOWN.

IF YOU FOLLOW THAT
PAPER AIRPLANE ON ITS FLIGHT

YOU CAN READ THE ENTIRE
HISTORY OF THE EARTH

EVERYTHING THAT HAS HAPPENED IN
THOSE ROCKS.

WOW.

I NEVER LOOKED AT IT LIKE THAT.

ALL YOU NEED IS THE KNOWLEDGE
AND A LITTLE IMAGINATION.

TO SOME PEOPLE,
IT WILL NEVER BE MORE

THAN A LONG
WAY DOWN.

HI.
DWAYNE WAYNE.

MR. WAYNE, I DON'T
HAVE YOU DOWN HERE

AND AS YOU CAN SEE,
THERE ARE NO MORE SEATS.

I DON'T MIND STANDING.

THE VIEW FROM HERE
IS BEAUTIFUL.

I'M SORRY

BUT THIS SECTION
IS CLOSED.

BUT I ALREADY DROPPED
MY WOMEN'S STUDIES CLASS.

SORRY.

HI.

HI.

FOSSILS: NATURE'S HIEROGLYPHS.

IS THIS TO HELP YOU SLEEP?

NO.

GEOLOGY IS REALLY INTERESTING.

HE'S THAT CUTE, HUH?

THAT ISN'T THE POINT.

IT IS REALLY
INTERESTING.

TAKE THE GRAND CANYON,
FOR EXAMPLE.

WITH A LITTLE IMAGINATION,
A LITTLE KNOWLEDGE

YOU CAN SEE THE ENTIRE
HISTORY OF THE EARTH

IN THE FLIGHT OF
A PAPER AIRPLANE.

DENISE, YOU HATE
THE GRAND CANYON.

YOU SAID THOSE WERE
THE WORST FAMILY VACATIONS.

THAT WAS BECAUSE
PROFESSOR WALCOTT WAS NOT THERE.

THE WAY THE MAN TEACHES

HE MAKES YOU FEEL LIKE YOU'RE
THE ONLY PERSON IN THE ROOM.

PROFESSOR SCHMIDT DID THAT TO ME
WITH STATISTICS.

HE UNLOCKED THE MYSTERIES
OF STANDARD DEVIATIONS.

RIGHT, MAGGIE.

THE MOTION TO ADJOURN
LAST WEEK'S DORM MEETING

WAS MADE BY
MAGGIE LAUTEN.

THE MOTION WAS PASSED, AND
THE MEETING CLOSED AT 8:17.

THANK YOU,
WHITLEY.

OKAY, JALEESA, WHAT'S NEXT?

UH, NEW BUSINESS.

WE ARE NOW FACED
WITH THE EXCITING TASK

OF PICKING THIS MONTH'S MOVIE.

I VOTE FOR SOMETHING ROMANTIC.

LIKE THE ONE STARRING THE
MOORES-- DUDLEY AND MARY TYLER--

WHERE SHE PULLS A FEW STRINGS

TO GET HER DAUGHTER
TO DANCE IN THE NUTCRACKER

AND AFTERWARDS THE POOR THING
DIES OF LEUKEMIA IN THE SUBWAY.

GIVE ME A BREAK, WHITLEY.

HOW ABOUT SOMETHING LIKE

JOURNEY TO
THE CENTER OF THE EARTH?

WHY, DENISE!

APPARENTLY,
SOMEONE HAS JOURNEYED

TO THE CENTER OF YOUR HEART.

YOU'VE GOT TO ADMIT,
PROFESSOR WALCOTT IS CUTE.

"CUTE"?

THE MAN IS FINE.

I WOULDN'T
GO THAT FAR.

I LIKED
HIS SUIT.

IT'S WHAT'S IN THE SUIT.

I CANNOT
BELIEVE YOU!

PROFESSOR WALCOTT IS
A BRILLIANT GEOLOGIST

AND ALL YOU CAN SAY IS,
"I LIKED HIS SUIT"?

IT'S A NICE SUIT.

SOUNDS LIKE SOME OF YOU
WERE TAKING HIS CLASS

FOR THE WRONG REASONS.

THEY ARE NOT ONLY TAKING IT

THEY ARE WEARING
HIGH-HEELED SHOES TO IT--

AT 9:00 A.M.

JUST BECAUSE HE'S A TERRIFIC GUY

DOESN'T MEAN
HE'S NOT A GREAT TEACHER.

I TOLD YOU
HE WAS FINE.

I UNDERSTAND
THIS MAN IS ATTRACTIVE

BUT DO YOU WANT TO
GET THIS WORKED UP

OVER A MAN WHO CAN
GIVE YOU A GRADE?

THAT DEPENDS ON
WHAT HE'S GRADING...

AND WHETHER HE'S
MARKING ON A CURVE.

CURVE OR NO CURVE

PROFESSOR WALCOTT IS ONE OF
HILLMAN'S TOUGHEST TEACHERS.

HAVE ANY OF YOU TAKEN
A CLOSE LOOK AT HIS SYLLABUS?

NO, BUT WE'D
CERTAINLY LIKE TO.

( laughing )

£ Don't know much
about history £

£ Don't know much biology £

£ Don't know much
about science book £

£ Don't know much about
the French I took £

£ But I do know
that I love you £

£ And I hope that
if you love me, too £

£ What a wonderful world
this would be £

£ Don't know much
about geography £

£ Don't know much trigonometry £

£ Don't know much
about algebra £

£ Don't know what
a slide rule is for £

£ But I do know
one and one is two £

£ And if this one
could be with you £

£ What a wonderful world
this would be £

UH...
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

I'M TRYING TO REDUCE
MY "BODY BUFFER ZONE"--

THE PERSONAL SPACE
AROUND MY BODY.

YOU'RE REDUCING MINE.

THAT'S THE POINT.

WE ALL NEED TO SHARE
OUR SPACE IN THIS WORLD.

FOR EXAMPLE:

DOES THIS MAKE YOU
FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE?

DON'T TAKE THIS
PERSONALLY, BUT YES.

MAGGIE...

BUT THIS DOESN'T.

PROFESSOR WALCOTT.

YOU'RE PROFESSOR WALCOTT?!

NICE SUIT!

BYE.

THAT'S MY ROOMMATE.

SHE'S VERY INTENSE
ABOUT HER STUDIES.

I'M SURE.

I FOUND THIS ROCK
BY THE POND.

I WAS GOING
TO LOOK IT UP

BUT MAYBE YOU COULD
HELP ME OUT.

JUDGING FROM IT'S TEXTURE,
COLOR AND WEIGHT

I'D HAVE TO SAY THAT
THIS IS CEMENT.

OH... IT IS.

YOU WOULDN'T WANT THIS
FOR YOUR ROCK COLLECTION.

I'D LIKE TO HAVE IT.

YOU WOULD?

A MOMENTO OF A BORED STUDENT
WHO BECAME A ROCK HOUND.

YOU MEAN "CEMENT HOUND."

THE FIRST ROCK

I EVER PICKED UP

I IDENTIFIED
AS LIMESTONE.

IT WAS ACTUALLY
SANDSTONE.

( chuckling )

IT'S A GEOLOGY JOKE.

IT'S FUNNY.

YOU MUST HAVE
SOME ROCK COLLECTION.

THEY'RE IN STORAGE
UNTIL I FIND A BIGGER PLACE.

THAT'S RIGHT, YOU JUST
MOVED FROM CALIFORNIA.

I'M FROM NEW YORK.

HAVE YOU EVER
BEEN THERE?

NO.

YOU'VE GOT TO COME UP SOMETIME.

I'D LOVE TO SHOW YOU AROUND.

I MEAN, MY PARENTS AND I
WOULD LOVE TO SHOW YOU AROUND.

THEY LOVE VISITORS.

DID YOU KNOW THAT
THE ISLAND OF MANHATTAN

IS SOLID GRANITE?

I LIVE IN BROOKLYN.

BUT WE CAN TAKE THE SUBWAY
TO MANHATTAN.

IT CUTS RIGHT THROUGH
THAT GRANITE.

DENISE...

COULD I SPEAK TO PROFESSOR
WALCOTT FOR A MOMENT?

OH, SURE, STEVIE.

SEE YOU IN CLASS,
PROFESSOR.

MS. RALLEN.

YOU KNOW, YOU ARE
A VERY ATTRACTIVE MAN.

THANK YOU.

AND I HAVE A HOUSE FULL
OF IMPRESSIONABLE GIRLS

WHO ARE TAKING YOUR CLASS
FOR REASONS OTHER THAN

THEIR LOVE
OF GEOLOGY.

NO MATTER.

I'VE MANAGED TO CAPTURE
HER IMAGINATION.

YOU'VE MANAGED
TO CAPTURE

A GREAT DEAL
MORE THAN THAT.

I'M HERE TO TEACH,
NOT TO TITILLATE

AND YOU OBVIOUSLY
CAN'T TELL THE DIFFERENCE.

I KNOW YOU...

YOU HARDLY KNOW ME

AND FRANKLY,
I'D LIKE TO KEEP IT THAT WAY.

OOH, BYRON, YOU OLD DOG, YOU!

OOH!

DENISE!
MAGGIE!

DENISE, MAG...

WHITLEY!

JUST WHO I'M
LOOKING FOR.

DWAYNE,
HOW NICE TO SEE YOU.

DO SHUT THE DOOR
ON YOUR WAY OUT.

OOH, THAT HURTS!

WHAT HURTS EVEN MORE

IS SEEING HIGH-HEELED
WOMEN LIKE YOURSELF

UNDER THE THUMB OF A MAN
WHO IS LYING TO YOU.

THAT HURTS ME.

SURELY YOU'RE NOT REFERRING
TO PROFESSOR WALCOTT.

BYRON?

THAT'S RIGHT.

THE MAN HAS GOT
ANOTHER WOMAN
ON HIS STRING.

HE'S DOGGING
ALL OF YOU.

I CAN ASSURE YOU

THAT MY INTEREST
IN PROFESSOR WALCOTT

IS PURELY ACADEMIC.

WHO WAS THE JEZEBEL?

YOUR DORM DIRECTOR,
STEVIE RALLEN.

THEY WERE FIGHTING
IN THE LIBRARY.

AND WHEN THEY TOUCHED...

£ OOH, OOH... FIRE! £

DENISE, FORGET HIM.

THE MAN IS
NO GOOD.

WHAT?

DWAYNE, I THINK THIS
REQUIRES A WOMAN'S TOUCH.

DENISE, PROFESSOR BYRON WALCOTT
IS SEEING STEVIE RALLEN.

WHAT?!

THEY HAD A LOVERS' QUARREL
IN THE LIBRARY.

THAT'S RIGHT

APPARENTLY, THEY ARE
A PASSIONATE COUPLE.

IT'S THE TRUTH.

HE ACCUSED HER OF TOYING
WITH HIS AFFECTIONS.

WELL...

THE UPSHOT OF IT WAS
SHE SLAPPED HIM.

SLAPPED HIM?

WOULD I LIE?

YOU COULD HEAR IT
CLEAR ACROSS THE ROOM.

BYE-BYE, DENISE.

I'LL SEE YOU IN GEOLOGY
TOMORROW MORNING.

DENISE,
CAN'T YOU SEE

THE HAND OF FATE
DRAWING US CLOSER?

THIS WAS
MEANT TO BE.

DWAYNE...

MAYBE NOT NOW.

HE HAS MY CEMENT.

HI, DENISE.

PROFESSOR WALCOTT.

YOU KNOW, THE PAVEMENT
OUTSIDE OF GILBERT HALL

IS MADE OF SHALE.

OF COURSE.

I'VE NOTICED LOTS OF SHALE
AROUND CAMPUS.

THERE IS A GREAT OUTCROPPING
BY THE CAFETERIA.

REALLY?
YOU MUST SHOW ME SOMETIME.

OH, I'D LIKE THAT.

I WOULD, TOO.

IS MS. RALLEN HERE?

WHO?

OH... OH, STEVIE.

UM... NO, SHE'S NOT HERE.

CAN I HELP YOU?

I WANTED TO TALK TO HER
AND GIVE HER THIS.

IT'S A PEACE OFFERING.

OH, THAT'S NICE.

COLLECTED ANY GOOD
SPECIMENS LATELY?

UM... NO, I HAVEN'T
HAD MUCH LUCK.

WELL, I'LL SEE YOU IN CLASS.

SEE YOU.

I GUESS HE WAS
A ROLLING STONE, HUH?

WE'VE SEEN HOW GREAT FORCES
CAN SQUEEZE HUMBLE CARBONS

INTO PRECIOUS DIAMONDS--

A GLITTERING TRIBUTE TO BEAUTY
AND LOVE THROUGH THE AGES.

YES?

I THINK IT'S WONDERFUL
THAT THERE'S A COURSE

THAT ACKNOWLEDGES AN
INDISPENSABLE NATURAL RESOURCE--

GEMS.

I DON'T AGREE WITH
YOUR PRIORITIES, BUT THANK YOU.

WHO CAN TELL US
THE COMMON NAME

FOR CRYSTALLINE
ALUMINUM OXIDE?

DENISE?

I'M SORRY.

I DIDN'T HEAR THE QUESTION.

THE COMMON NAME FOR
CRYSTALLINE ALUMINUM OXIDE.

I DIDN'T DO THE READING.

I SEE.

WELL, THAT'S IT FOR TODAY.

DENISE, MAY I SPEAK
TO YOU FOR A MOMENT?

SURE.

IS THERE ANYTHING
I CAN HELP YOU WITH?

NOT ANYMORE.

YOU'VE TAKEN ON
A DIFFICULT COURSE

AND I'D LIKE TO SEE YOU
DO WELL.

YOU GOT OFF TO
A GREAT START.

I THINK IT WAS
A WRONG START.

OH?

REMEMBER WHEN
YOU WERE TALKING
ABOUT FOOL'S GOLD?

YES.

WELL, IT'S LIKE THAT.

I THOUGHT I SAW SOMETHING
PRECIOUS THAT I COULD HAVE

AND IT WASN'T
WHAT I THOUGHT IT WAS.

WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?

YOU.

I'M TALKING ABOUT YOU.

YOU DIDN'T THINK THAT I...

YES, I DID.

I DON'T ANYMORE,
BUT...

I FEEL LIKE
A FOOL.

YOU SHOULDN'T.

FOOL'S GOLD IS WHAT YOU FIND
WHEN YOU'RE PANNING

FOR THE
REAL THING.

THANKS.

DENISE,
CAN I

KEEP THE CEMENT?

SURE.

BY THE WAY,
THE ANSWER IS RUBIES.

BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM.

NOW WE'RE TRANSFORMING INTO
THE STARFLEET CHOPPER!

WHOO!

WHOO!

NOW WE'RE TRANSFORMING INTO
TIRED AND DIZZY.

( ring )

HELLO?

PROFESSOR WALCOTT... RIGHT.

WHO IS THIS?

PROFESSOR WALCOTT.

IT'S REALLY YOU.

HI. IT'S DENISE.

I'M BABY-SITTING.

OH, YOU WANTED TO COME OVER
AND SEE STEVIE.

SHE'LL BE HOME SOON.

IN FACT, SHE TOLD ME TO TELL
ANYONE WHO WANTED TO COME OVER

SHE WOULD BE HOME SOON

AND JUST TO COME... NOW.

YOU WILL?

GREAT.

BYE.

I JUST GOT A GALLON OF
MARSHMALLOW ALMOND CRUNCH

SOME "JIFFY POP" AND A TV GUIDE.

TONIGHT IS "UGLY NIGHT."

I KICK OFF MY SHOES

WATCH MIAMI VICE

AND GET FAT.

I'LL GET THE SPOONS.

OKAY.

YOU CAN'T DO
THAT TONIGHT.

WHY NOT?

YOU HAVE A GUEST COMING.

IT'S A MAN.

SO IS
PHILLIP MICHAEL THOMAS

BUT HE
DOESN'T CARE

WHETHER MY SHOES
ARE ON OR OFF.

HE'S COMING OVER.

WHO?

BYRON WALCOTT.

HE'S COMING HERE?
TO SEE YOU?

NO, TO SEE YOU.

I DON'T WANT
TO SEE HIM.

I SAID
YOU DID.

HE WAS FOOL'S GOLD TO ME,
BUT HE COULD BE

REAL GOLD
TO YOU.

COULD YOU EXPLAIN THAT?

LOOK...

( knocking )

YOU GET THE DOOR.

I'LL PUT THE
GROCERIES AWAY.

DENISE SAID THIS WOULD BE
A GOOD TIME TO DROP BY.

I'M SORRY,
BUT MY SON IS SLEEPING NOW.

MOMMY...

DENISE SAID
WE COULD EAT
THE ICE CREAM

IN HER
ROOM.

HE HAS INSOMNIA.

HI, PROFESSOR.

PLEASE
EXCUSE ME.

J.T. AND I
HAVE A DATE.

DENISE, YOU DON'T
HAVE TO DO THIS.

SURE I DO.

I LOVE MARSHMALLOW
ALMOND CRUNCH.

ME, TOO.

OKAY.

GOOD NIGHT.

MAYBE THIS ISN'T
A GOOD TIME.

OH, NO.
I HAVE A SITTER.

WHY DO YOU WANT
PROFESSOR WALCOTT AND STEVIE

TO GET TOGETHER?

BECAUSE
BYRON WAS

MY ONE LIFE'S CRUSH

SINCE BOBBY FONTANA
HIT ME OVER THE HEAD

WITH HIS DUMP TRUCK.

I WORSHIPPED THIS KID.

WELL, WHAT
HAPPENED THEN?

IN THE END

ALL HE WAS INTERESTED IN
WAS MY SANDBOX.

THAT'S SO SAD.

I GOT OVER IT,
MAGGIE.

BOBBY FONTANA?

NO, PROFESSOR WALCOTT.

WHAT WE HAD
WAS A FANTASY

BUT HIM AND STEVIE--
THEY COULD BE REAL.

THIS IS LIKE
A TALE OF TWO CITIES.

"IT'S A FAR, FAR BETTER
THING YOU DO

THAN YOU HAVE
EVER DONE."

BESIDES

THOSE ROCKS WERE HEAVY.

WHAT ARE
YOU DOING?

I'M SHARING
YOUR SPACE.

J.T. HAS MINE.

OH..!

YOU SPACE GUZZLER!

Captioning made possible by

WRIGLEY'S SPEARMINT CHEWING GUM
and NBC.

Captioned by
The Caption Center
WGBH Educational Foundation