A.N.T. Farm (2011–2014): Season 3, Episode 17 - The New York ExperiANTs - full transcript

I can't believe Mr. Grundy flew
us to New York in his private jet!

It was so awesome! Except
for that crying baby.

Hey, my ears were clogged up.

Everyone! Welcome to the grand
opening of my flagship z-store!

First, the ceremonial ribbon cutting!

Where are my comically large scissors?

Ah.

Sorry.

I borrowed them to make these
comically large paper dolls.

Aw.

They're holding hands, we're holding hands.



And they're dolls and you're a doll.

And he's nauseous and I'm nauseous.

Okay, everyone.

This is it.

One... Two...

Zee!

Uh... where are you going? It's a work day!

What? We have to work here?

And wear ugly shirts?

Yes.

Why pay employees when I can
make my students unpaid interns?

Welcome to the z-store.

You will be zelling all
my ztuff with a zmile!

Zorry! Zee ya, zucker!



♪ Ooh, ooh doo, doo ♪
ooh, ooh doo, doo Whoo!

♪ Everybody's got that thing ♪
something different we all bring

♪ don't you let 'em clip your
wings ♪ you got it you got it

♪ we're on fire and we blaze ♪
in extraordinary ways ♪ 365 days

♪ we got it we got it ♪ you
can dream it ♪ you can be it

♪ if you can feel it ♪ you can believe it

♪ 'cause I am, you are, we are
♪ exceptional exceptional

♪ yeah, I am, you are, we are
♪ exceptional exceptional

♪ ooh, ooh, ooh ♪ ooh, ooh Whoo!

Whew!

Well...

At least I caught a few of you.

Thank goodness!

I'm going to need help handling the crowds.

What crowds?

Why isn't the store busier?

I spent $20 million on
advertising and promotion.

Well, maybe you should have spent a
little bit more on the "we're open" sign.

Someone should be here.

Where is everybody?

♪ Jack be quick, Jack be nimble

♪ the z-phone ain't
nothin' but a status symbol

♪ let me school you
gather 'round, my scholars,

♪ you're getting poor while they
worth fitty billion dollars ♪

How could he say that?

Z-tech is worth
fitty-figh billion dollars.

Angus, look what I found outside.

Look what I found outside!

I'm going to make a fortune!

Well, this is even better!

Well, for me.

They're holding open video
auditions for a new Broadway musical.

Goldilocks! I'm perfect for it!

Why? Because your legs are
hairy and you growl a lot?

I mean for goldilocks, not the bear!

This is my big chance and Chyna
cannot steal this from under me!

If you whisper one word of this
to her, I will maul you!

Are you sure you don't want
to audition for the bear?

This is great.

The New York museum of art
has something for both of us.

You can admire the paintings,
and I can correct the people

when they mispronounce the artists' names.

Everyone, the museum is thrilled to present

the latest masterpiece by
Ikhagvasuren Balnamdolchoyjijantsan!

Ugh!

She pronounced it right!

Oh, please.

His work is so overrated.

I don't know why anyone would like his...
Oh, my gosh!

It's beautiful!

Fletcher, are you okay?

This painting.

Something about it just...

Moves me to tears.

You know it's not a real onion, right?

I know, but the brush
strokes, and the symbolism...

I'll never paint anything this good.

I'm through with art!

I might as well just become a plumber.

Fletcher, don't be ridiculous.

You can't just quit
art to become a plumber.

Plumbing is way harder. It takes skill.

I'm a total failure!

You're not a failure, Fletcher.

First of all, you have a gorgeous
girlfriend, who's way out of your league.

And you can paint your own masterpiece.

Really? You think so?

I know so.

Come on, let's go get you some art supplies

and you can paint something
way better than this...

Actually quite beautiful onion.

Excuse me, sir.

I'm going to have to ask you to leave.

As you can see, this sign says,

"no loitering."

I've been rapping on this corner long
before there was a z-store here.

If anyone is loitering, it's you.

Do you know who I am?

I think so.

♪ Yo, yo, check it
it's the real z. Grundy

♪ he'll sell you fancy
phones for three or four hundy.

♪ I'm chiseled like a
rock you're like a water bed

♪ I rap all day while
you eat banana bread

♪ you think you can
beat me? You've been misled

♪ I've won more battles than
you got hairs up on your head ♪

Okay, that was some very hurtful flow.

Hi, I'm Chyna.

'Sup? I'm Hudson.

Listen, Hudson.

I think you're very talented.

But maybe you could find a
different topic to rap about

instead of telling people

they shouldn't waste their
money on anything in this store.

No, it! Wa how may I be of zervice?

Hmm, another topic to rap about?

Yeah! I could do that. Great.

♪ Yo, yo, peep this prissy
missy with the fancy shoes

♪ from the burbs, don't
know what it's like to lose

♪ you cruise through life
as some rich guy's daughter

♪ you probably only
bathe in bottled water ♪

You know what? I'm tired of being nice.

Why don't you just do us
all a favor and go home.

Maybe because I can't.

What?

You live this privileged life and
just assume everyone else does, too.

Well, guess what? I'm from the street.

Hudson, I'm so sorry... Look! Save it.

You don't even know how
to talk to someone like me.

No, but I do.

Mr. Grundy, what are you doing?

If 'tis a rap battle he desires, then
'tis a rap battle he shall receive.

♪ Straight out of liverpool
don't play me as a fool

♪ run my own school got a jet with a pool

♪ if you got any sense,
you'll rap on another block

♪ 'cause I gots two hands,
like a tickety-tickety clock ♪

Well, if you didn't want anyone to take it,

you shouldn't have left it on the corner!

Fletcher, this is... This is beautiful.

No, no, no, beautiful
doesn't begin to describe it.

It's... it's stunning.

Exquisite. In a word... Zazow!

Well, of course you like it.

It's a painting by someone you love

of someone you love even more.

But, I'll never be as good as
Ikhagvasuren Balnamdolchoyjijantsan.

Why does everyone
keep pronouncing it right?

Come on, if this were hanging in a museum,

people would think it's
the best thing in the place.

In fact, let's go over there
and hang it up right now.

What? How are we supposed
to get that into the museum?

What's with your shape?

What's with your shape?

Mr. Grundy!

I thought of how to stop Hudson from
hanging around outside of the store.

Letting him hang around inside the store!

Chyna!

You hired him without asking me?

Well, maybe you shouldn't have me,

a 14-year-old girl, heading
up your personnel department!

Please, Mr. Grundy.

Look, Hudson's had a tough life,

but all he needs is someone
to give him a chance.

I will personally vouch for him.

Hey, hey, check out how
many of these I can juggle.

Zero. I do not know how to juggle.

Whoo.

All right. If we're going
to hang this painting,

all you need to do is hammer
this nail into the wall.

Hammering's going to
draw too much attention.

I'll use this nail gun instead.

Okay, but hurry.

I'll keep the curator busy.

Excuse me, ma'am, can I ask you a question?

Well, that's what I'm here for.

Can you help me pick up these toothpicks?

I cannot believe what I'm seeing.

Uh, I can explain...

You don't need to explain to me.

I have a PHD in art history and this
is the most cutting edge example

of "installation art" I have ever seen!

I mean, everybody does art about
society's need to break down walls,

but you nailed it!

See? You gave Hudson a chance, and
now he's attracting customers.

He is a good sign spinner.

Okay, Chyna's not looking.

Let's record my "goldilocks" audition.

I don't mind helping, but
do I really have to be mama bear?

Yes!

The papa bear suit was too big on you
and the baby bear suit was too small!

This one's just right.

Chyna's coming!

Act natural!

As you can see, Ms. Bear,

the new z-pad has features
that will simplify your life.

Hmm?

Ooh! Plus, you'll like this.

It has a hibernation mode.

Did you see that?

Hudson just stole a z-phone!

I'm with a customer.

The z-pad cases come
in a variety of colors.

Including salmon.

Hey, thanks for getting me this job, Chyna.

Zee you tomorrow.

Wait! I know what you're up to!

I'm not up to anything!

You stole a z-phone!

What?

All right, you caught me.

I stole it.

I don't have a rich
daddy to buy me a phone!

You have to return this!

Once you delete all of these.

Why are there photos of you
and your family in Bermuda?

I stole that family.

And, uh, made them take
me to Bermuda. Yeah.

You're not from the street.

Yes I am!

My house is on a street.

What street?

Easy street.

125 north easy street.

Why would you lie to me about who you are?

Look, I'm a rapper.

The best raps are about having
nothing or having everything.

There are no hit songs about a
comfortable suburban upbringing.

Look.

♪ I spend every night
with a roof above me

♪ got a mom and a dad ♪ and
they both really love me

♪ dad's an accountant mom's a Professor

♪ we all go to yoga it's
the perfect de-stressor ♪

I can't believe you. You're a total phony.

You know, the minute I met you,

I knew you were all
condescending, judgmental...

Pretty...

Did you just call me pretty?

Uh...

I don't know what I'm saying.

Mr. Grundy didn't give me a lunch break.

I'm feeling a little lightheaded.

I swear I saw a tap-dancing
bear in a skirt. Yeah.

Listen, you don't have to pretend to be
something you're not to impress people.

Especially me.

You'll find your own voice.

You just have to...

Do your own thing.

♪ Gotta lose control everybody knows

♪ feel it in your
soul it's your own thing!

♪ Everybody is moving
different way to do it

♪ throw your hands up
lose it do your own thing

♪ rising like a tower independent power

♪ it is your finest
hour do your own thing!

♪ Do do do do do do it do your own thing

♪ do do do do do do it do your own thing!

♪ Come on, gotta stand
up for what you believe in

♪ gotta stay fresh as long you're
breathing better get used to it

♪ we ain't leaving staring so
hard looking like you're reading

♪ I got the gift of
something, baby I'm doing me

♪ and I'm doing it daily this
is my thing don't call me crazy

♪ when I say yes, I ain't ever hazy

♪ everybody is moving
different way to do it

♪ throw your hands up,
lose it do your own thing

♪ do your own thing

♪ do do do do do do it do your own thing

♪ do do do do do do it do your own thing!

♪ Do do do do do do it do your own thing

♪ do do do do do do
it do your own thing ♪

Now, the song is called
"do your own thing,"

not "do your thing in
the middle of my thing."

Sorry, I thought... I'm kidding.
You were great.

And I hope you get the message.

You don't need to front.
I like the real you.

You know, you're pretty smart.

Did you just call me pretty again?

I think you pretty much
hear what you want to hear.

Hey, guys.

Did we miss anything?

Chyna sang a song.

And Angus was dressed like a bear.

No.

Fletcher!

Oh, no, it's the museum curator.

She probably figured out that
my wall damage wasn't really art.

Don't worry. I got this.

Ugh! That usually works!

Fletcher, I've been going
through your portfolio online.

Your artwork is astounding!

I'd like you to be the
museum's artist-in-residence.

Artist-in-residence?

Wait.

Is this a trick to get
me to paint your house?

No. It's a very prestigious fellowship.

We want you to move to New York.

What? What?

See ya!

You'd have a rare opportunity to work
with the world's greatest artists.

We've never offered this
to a teenager before.

Wow!

What an incredible honor. I'm flattered.

But I'm going to have to pass.

What? Why?

My life is in California
with my family and friends.

And most of all, the girl that I love.

Well, I hope you're not doing this for me,

because I was just about
to break up with you.

What? What?

Yes!

Look, it's not me. It's you.

I don't really know why I was
even dating you in the first place.

If you moved to New York,
I would not miss you at all.

Olive? What are you doing?

Moving on. And you should, too.

Sorry, Fletcher. But
"zazow" always ends in "ow."

But I don't think I've
had enough "zaz" yet!

I really like "zaz!"

Well, this worked out.

I'll start the fellowship paperwork.

Angus, they texted me!

They loved my video audition!

I got the part!

I'm goldilocks!

Congratulations!

I am also having a good day.

Finally me, Lexi Reed, not Chyna Parks,

is going to be the star
of a Broadway musical!

Actually, the flyer
says it's off-Broadway.

Wow, they weren't kidding.

This alley is literally off Broadway.

♪ What a quaint little cottage
♪ in this beautiful forest!

♪ Oh, look, three bowls, and
they're filled with porridge!

♪ All my life I've searched for something

♪ I've searched all day and night

what are you doing?

Get off my stage!

♪ And I finally found that
something, that something just right ♪

This stinks!

I beg to differ!

Bravo!

Bravo!

You took the fellowship?

So, you're really not coming
back to the ant farm with us?

Look, it's an incredible opportunity.

And even my parents said I should go.

I'm going to be living in
Brooklyn with my grandma Dottie.

Fletcher,

not only are you my best friend,

but I've loved being roommates
with you this past year.

And if you ever decide
New York isn't for you,

our room will always be there.

Of course, your bed will be gone and
replaced with a soft pretzel machine.

I know. You did that two months ago.

Fletcher,

you and I never got to know each
other that well back at school.

Thank you for that.

You're welcome?

Hey, whoa.

I barely know you.

Fletcher,

since the day you showed up at
my house in a top hat and monocle,

I knew I wanted you to
be my friend forever.

I can't believe we're saying goodbye.

I don't care where I am,

you're always going to
be a part of my life.

I wouldn't be who I am
if it weren't for you.

What do you mean?

When you first arrived at the ant
farm, I was this scared little kid.

And you were so confident and fearless.

You made me not be afraid.

And now, I'm moving to New York!

By myself.

I really don't know how I'm
going to do it without you.

Oh, don't worry.

You'll find another girl
to obsess over for years

and then completely forget about
so you can date her best friend.

You know, I never thought
Olive and I would get together,

but on we dice I'd never
felt anything so real.

I guess I was the only
one who felt that way.

I think that garbage can is crying.

I really should have given
myself a lunch break today.

Olive? What are you doing in here?

Just making sure Fletcher really
leaves because I hate him so much.

Wait.

Did you break up with me just so
I wouldn't miss this opportunity?

Maybe.

Thank you, Olive.

I love you, too.

There's grandma Dottie.

Whoa!

Grandma Dottie is grandma hottie.

She's actually my step-grandmother.

My grandpa Zeke was loaded.

So she's a widow who likes wealthy men?

Maybe I'll move to New York.

Nah.

I'd miss you guys too much.

Man, it's weird being in the
Ant Farm without Fletcher.

Yeah.

You doing okay?

Yeah. I mean, I miss him, But I guess
it'll be just us single ladies now.

We should do pretty well.

I'm zazow! And you're...

Zaz-okay.

Well, I'm cool with some girl time.

Just me and you.

Ooh, man. This school is on point!

Do you guys have a yoga studio?

Hudson? What are you doing here?

Z-money asked me to join the school.

And my new rap label, zip zop.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. A rap prodigy?

Doesn't that kind of step
on someone else's territory?