ALF Tales (1988–1990): Season 2, Episode 8 - King Midas - full transcript
In this ALF Tales episode, ALF and his friends retell the story of King Midas.
[ orchestral music plays ]
[ announcer speaks ]
[ arrows whizzing ]
I hate snakes.
I don't care
what my contract says,
I won't do the snake thing
and that's final.
But, Oklahoma,
the network research shows
that snakes
boost ratings.
Nice watch, Roger.
- Gold?
- Of course.
Hope it's waterproof.
Now about those snakes.
[ gulps ]
I'm sure we can
work something out.
See to it.
In the meantime,
I'll know when
I'm fashionably late.
Today's ALF Tale
is "King Midas,"
the story of the man
with the Midas touch.
Everything he touched
turned to gold.
Woman:
Smile, Professor.
Hey, my right
profile's better.
[ camera clicks ]
This is Connie Chung,
artifacts reporter
for the Irrational
Broadcasting Company
here on the campus
of Oklahoma Junior College.
Professor Oklahoma Jones,
the world-famous archeologist,
is about to depart
on his latest expedition.
Professor Jones is searching
for the legendary King Midas.
Chung on radio:
This will be Professor Jones'
last lecture
before leaving
on this perilous expedition.
[ German accent ] It will be
his last lecture ever.
Audience:
We want Oklahoma!
We want Oklahoma!
We want...
Am I fashionably
late yet?
We want Oklahoma.
- Thank you.
- [ audience applauding ]
For years,
King Midas has been
just another
mythical figure
like the tooth fairy.
[ gasps, cheers ]
No tooth fairy?
But who left me
all those quarters?
But new evidence
has recently come to light.
Slide, please.
As you can see,
he appears to really exist.
Unfortunately,
the photographer
who took this picture
made the mistake
of shaking hands
with King Midas
and was instantly
turned to mold.
"Mold"?
Is he a knucklehead
or what?
But the photographer's
camera survived
along with this map
of the uncharted ancient
theme park of Midasland.
And that's where
our expedition is headed.
There's Hertz Budget
Camel Rentals.
I hope they're open.
Welcome to the Hertz
Budget Camel Rental.
You know our motto,
"It only hurts
when you pay."
Brit?
Good to see
you again, Okie.
What are you doing here?
I'll make this whole expedition
seem more exotic
by speaking with
a pretentious British accent.
Would you like the one-hump
or the two-hump model?
Anything as long as
it's air-conditioned.
I believe I have
a reservation.
Ah, Professor Jones,
I presume.
The one and only.
Where have I heard
that voice before?
Your camels are ready.
Did you want
mirage insurance?
No, thanks.
I gave at the office.
Say, haven't I heard
your voice before?
Who, me?
Oh, you're mistaken,
sahib.
I never forget a voice.
Stop that,
hot breath.
My archrival,
Professor Bouquet.
What are you doing here?
Following you,
Oklahoma Jones.
Now hand over that map.
Make me,
you sleazy bully.
Try your puny bullwhip
on my razor-sharp
scimitar,
Oklahoma Jones.
Come on, punk.
Make my day.
I think we'll be hiring
a new prop guy.
[ yells ]
Grab a camel, guys.
Let's split.
I will split you...
in half!
[ coughing ]
Herr Limburger,
you fool.
You let them get away.
I'll get you yet,
Oklahoma Jones!
Aha!
Signs of civilization.
You mean junk?
Jones:
No, I mean junk food.
- [ door opens ]
- [ bell rings ]
Oklahoma!
Rhonda!
Ow!
What was that for?
That's for jilting me
10 years ago
when you were
a young instructor
and I was
your innocent student.
Yeah, but at least
you got an A.
Don't change
the subject.
How about
some service here?
I'm hungry.
Oh, typical.
Always thinking
of yourself first.
Yeah, but I always
thought of you second.
- Really?
- Really.
Close your eyes, kids.
Here comes
the mushy part.
Oh, Oklahoma.
Oh, Rhonda.
Hey, what happened
to the schmaltzy love scene
music?
Are the sound editors
out to lunch or something?
Bouquet:
No, but you are...
permanently.
[ muffled ]
Let me go, you--
[ yells ]
Now hand over
that map
or it's curtains
for your girlfriend.
That's terrible.
I know she'd prefer
Venetian blinds.
Jones:
So there we were,
trussed up like turkeys
in a roasting pan,
waiting for
the bomb to go off.
- The evil Professor Bouquet
- [ fuse sizzling ]
had absconded with the map
to King Midas' castle
and left us up the creek
without a poodle.
That's paddle.
Sorry.
Typo.
Aren't you gonna
do something
to get us
out of here, Okie?
You're the macho one,
remember?
I thought macho was out
and sensitive was in.
[ grunting ]
That Limburger guy
sure has a way with knots.
Bet he does
some dandy macramé.
Brit:
The bomb, Okie.
Don't worry.
No harm
will come to me
while I'm wearing
this solid gold Swiss timepiece.
[ explosion ]
[ ticks ]
Takes a licking
and keeps on ticking.
And now
back to our show.
We've gotta reach
King Midas before Bouquet
and Limburger do.
But we have no map.
I forgot about that.
We're sunk.
If we don't make
it out of here,
we'll never
get to do a sequel.
Well, my place is history.
Guess I'll have to join you
so I can cash in
on Midas' riches.
Besides, since you
lost the map,
I'm the only one
who knows the way.
[ hissing ]
[ squawking ]
Maybe we should've
taken the freeway.
I thought you'd appreciate
the scenic route.
So how do you know so much
about this Midas thing?
Don't you remember?
I did my senior thesis
on Midas.
Besides, I used to take
my camel to his place
for tune-ups.
[ yells ]
So how did he acquire
this... affliction?
Well, he was
Bob Midas then.
He started out
with nothing
but a humble muffler shop
in the desert.
He was a huge success.
He was the king
of the muffler biz.
- [ yells ]
- [ blasts ]
Rhonda:
So he set up franchises
all over.
There were Midas camel
muffler shops everywhere.
Bob grew
fabulously wealthy,
but still
he wanted more.
One day a superior being
named Cartier Tiffany...
- Ah!
- brought his camel in
for a complete overhaul.
[ thud ]
Wow.
Rhonda:
He gave Bob
a wonderful gift
in exchange
for reviving his camel.
Everything Midas touched
turned to gold.
Jones: Hold it!
I thought it was mold.
Everything he touched
turned to mold.
You were wrong.
Me wrong?
Impossible.
The only mold
is in your ears.
Gold with a G.
Oh, gold.
No wonder everyone's
so excited.
Come on.
We're at the entrance
to the secret passage
to Midasland.
Are you sure
this is safe?
Of course.
Ooh, it's in Latin.
What does it say,
Okie?
"Caveat snakus fallum."
Watch for falling snakes.
[ gulps ]
Uh...
ladies before
gentlemen.
My hero.
[ all yelling ]
[ thud ]
Snakes!
Get me out of here.
Oh, stop it,
you big baby.
They're more afraid of you
than you are of them.
I don't think so.
[ hissing ]
Why don't you imagine
that the snakes
are something
that you aren't afraid of?
Think of
your favorite animal.
Favorite animal, huh?
Okay.
- [ mooing ]
- It worked!
Don't you
just love cows?
They're so
affectionate.
Cows!
I'm terrified
of cows.
I'd rather
be surrounded by snakes.
Snakes?
Did somebody say snakes?
[ hissing ]
Whoa!
I'm not scared,
I'm not scared.
- I'm not--
- Watch out, Oklahoma!
Whoa!
- [ screams ]
- [ crash ]
Midasland.
Wow.
[ thunks ]
Heavy metal.
This way.
Rhonda:
This is Midas' wife....
and his two kids.
Jones:
My, they're well-behaved.
A bit shy, perhaps.
And, finally,
the king himself.
Rhonda, how nice
to see you.
King Midas!
I'm Oklahoma Jones.
Are you nuts?
You wanna end up
like them?
[ gulps ]
Whoops.
Tell us what it's like
to be the richest man
in the world.
It's lonely at the top.
And I'm starving.
I haven't eaten
a thing in years.
You've got
to help him, Oklahoma.
Sure.
No job's
too challenging
for Oklahoma Jones.
There is
a magic coffee mug
that can lift
this curse.
But to get it,
you must go to...
the Tomb of Dishware.
[ all gasp ]
[ together ]
The Tomb of Dishware?
I have to ponder this
for a while.
Isn't it about time
for a commercial break?
Bouquet:
Oklahoma Jones must never
leave the tomb alive.
I want that gold
for myself
and my gruesome
colleagues.
The gold is mine!
And as long as Midas
has the magic touch,
I'll have
an endless supply.
[ laughs ]
[ laughing ]
[ all grunting ]
Now, legend has it
that the entrance
to the Great Sphinx
is through the snout.
Hmm.
There must be a trick lever
around here somewhere.
[ yells ]
Yeow!
[ gasps, yells ]
[ slurps ]
[ fabric ripping ]
Hey, what
are you doing?
I'm making a torch.
But that's
my smoking jacket.
Be thankful I didn't
take your trousers.
[ gasps ]
Let's see, according to
my knowledge of hieroglyphics...
that inscription says...
"Play whatever
tune you wish,
but get it wrong
and you'll get squished."
Hmm...
why don't you try?
I've got a tin ear.
- [ clanks ]
- See?
I can't.
In these stories, the heroines
are supposed to
scream a lot
and act scared.
[ rattling ]
We're gonna be crushed!
Oklahoma,
do something!
You might remember
this next number
from a long time ago
and far, far away.
[ rattling ]
Well, at least we'll
all have thinner thighs.
My thighs are fine,
thank you. Try again.
[ rattling ]
Brit:
Well, Okie...
here we are
in the Tomb of Dishware.
Now it's time for you
to face massive danger
and get the magic mug.
- Says who?
- [ gun cocks ]
- Bouquet: Says me, Okie.
- [ screams ]
How nice of you
to show up, Mr. Jones.
Now you can risk your life
to get the mug for us.
Couldn't I just
wash your car instead?
Get going.
Um, according
to my thesis,
to reach the tomb,
one must solve
three riddles.
The first,
"What lays eggs
and goes quack?"
Hmm.
A chicken?
Nah, a chicken goes...
[ clucks ]
A parrot?
Nah, a parrot goes,
"Polly want a cracker?"
Okie, duck!
Yeah, that's it.
Duck.
Boy, I bet you played
a mean game of charades.
[ together ]
No, stupid!
Duck!
[ gasps, yells ]
What ho!
Flying saucers.
Hopscotch,
my favorite.
To pass safely,
you must correctly
spell the word
"Encyclopedia."
How come it's never
a word like "cat"?
E.
Whew.
N.
Hey, I'm pretty
good at this.
If we ever
get out of this alive,
remind me to enter
a spelling bee.
Where was I?
Oh, yeah,
"Encyclopedia."
E-N-S...
whoa!
- [ gasps ]
- I say...
do you think I
could have his hat?
From now on,
I'm sticking to board games.
[ grunts ]
This is the toughest
challenge of all.
You must believe
that you can walk
across this chasm
on your own
imaginary bridge.
So long, good-bye,
adios, I'm outta here.
I may take a lot of ridiculous,
near-fatal risks,
but I'm not stupid.
I see a bridge.
Don't you see a bridge?
And what
a lovely bridge it is.
One small step for man,
hopefully not
one giant fall for me.
Hey, it works!
Solid construction.
I guess the trick
to this believing thing
is to be 100% sure.
But I wonder
what would happen
if I had just
the teeniest bit of doubt.
Whoa!
I believe, I believe!
♪ I'm dreaming
to dream ♪
♪ The impossible
dream... ♪
Oof.
Well, it's about time.
I opened this lousy shop
700 years ago
and finally a customer.
Why open a shop
in the middle of a sphinx?
The rent was cheap.
That's the last time
I feed somebody
a straight line.
Excuse me, I'm looking
for a magic mug,
preferably
dishwasher-proof.
Magic mugs?
I got a million of 'em.
Sol:
But choose wisely.
Only one will remove
the Midas touch.
And the others will do
who knows what.
Bouquet:
Thank you for leading me
to the magic mug,
Professor Jones.
What do you
want with it?
You don't have
the Midas touch.
Yes, but with Midas
under my power,
I'll be the richest man
in the world.
Now hand me the mug
so I can smash it
into a thousand pieces.
[ laughs ]
Sol:
Remember...
choose wisely.
You win, Bouquet.
But before
you smash it,
allow me to toast
your victory.
But, Oklahoma,
how can you give in
so easily?
It's been a long day.
I'm tired.
We'll have
plenty more adventures.
Hmm, I guess Midas
isn't the only one
with the golden touch.
Maybe this
is what they mean
by a hardened
criminal.
You interested in
some solid gold bad guys?
- [ rumbling ]
- All: Whoa!
It's Cartier.
He's angry that
we're tampering with forces
that we cannot
comprehend.
Boy, I'd hate
to see him
after he gets
a parking ticket.
Let's get
out of here.
That's it.
Run away.
Eh, you kids today.
Make a mess and leave
the cleaning up for me.
The magic mug.
You found it.
Drink all you want, king.
It's decaf.
I'm cured!
What took you so long,
you no-good,
lousy bum?
And why didn't you
ever polish me?
I want my allowance.
[ crying ]
Boy, does she need
a diaper change.
Ah...
the soothing voices
of my loving family.
You know, Okie,
it's about time
we started raising
a family of our own.
Family, suburbs,
the old nine-to-five
thing...
Hey, Rhonda, watch out
for that boulder.
What boulder?
I don't see any boulder.
Okie, where are you?
Okie, come back!
I'll get your hat cleaned
for you, Okie.
Wait!
- ♪ Gordon, send us...
- ♪ Oh, send us...
♪ Into outer space
♪ 'Cause there ain't
nobody like you ♪
♪ In the Melmacian race
♪ Teach us, Gordon
♪ Make us twitch.
Hah!
I kill me!
[ announcer speaks ]
[ arrows whizzing ]
I hate snakes.
I don't care
what my contract says,
I won't do the snake thing
and that's final.
But, Oklahoma,
the network research shows
that snakes
boost ratings.
Nice watch, Roger.
- Gold?
- Of course.
Hope it's waterproof.
Now about those snakes.
[ gulps ]
I'm sure we can
work something out.
See to it.
In the meantime,
I'll know when
I'm fashionably late.
Today's ALF Tale
is "King Midas,"
the story of the man
with the Midas touch.
Everything he touched
turned to gold.
Woman:
Smile, Professor.
Hey, my right
profile's better.
[ camera clicks ]
This is Connie Chung,
artifacts reporter
for the Irrational
Broadcasting Company
here on the campus
of Oklahoma Junior College.
Professor Oklahoma Jones,
the world-famous archeologist,
is about to depart
on his latest expedition.
Professor Jones is searching
for the legendary King Midas.
Chung on radio:
This will be Professor Jones'
last lecture
before leaving
on this perilous expedition.
[ German accent ] It will be
his last lecture ever.
Audience:
We want Oklahoma!
We want Oklahoma!
We want...
Am I fashionably
late yet?
We want Oklahoma.
- Thank you.
- [ audience applauding ]
For years,
King Midas has been
just another
mythical figure
like the tooth fairy.
[ gasps, cheers ]
No tooth fairy?
But who left me
all those quarters?
But new evidence
has recently come to light.
Slide, please.
As you can see,
he appears to really exist.
Unfortunately,
the photographer
who took this picture
made the mistake
of shaking hands
with King Midas
and was instantly
turned to mold.
"Mold"?
Is he a knucklehead
or what?
But the photographer's
camera survived
along with this map
of the uncharted ancient
theme park of Midasland.
And that's where
our expedition is headed.
There's Hertz Budget
Camel Rentals.
I hope they're open.
Welcome to the Hertz
Budget Camel Rental.
You know our motto,
"It only hurts
when you pay."
Brit?
Good to see
you again, Okie.
What are you doing here?
I'll make this whole expedition
seem more exotic
by speaking with
a pretentious British accent.
Would you like the one-hump
or the two-hump model?
Anything as long as
it's air-conditioned.
I believe I have
a reservation.
Ah, Professor Jones,
I presume.
The one and only.
Where have I heard
that voice before?
Your camels are ready.
Did you want
mirage insurance?
No, thanks.
I gave at the office.
Say, haven't I heard
your voice before?
Who, me?
Oh, you're mistaken,
sahib.
I never forget a voice.
Stop that,
hot breath.
My archrival,
Professor Bouquet.
What are you doing here?
Following you,
Oklahoma Jones.
Now hand over that map.
Make me,
you sleazy bully.
Try your puny bullwhip
on my razor-sharp
scimitar,
Oklahoma Jones.
Come on, punk.
Make my day.
I think we'll be hiring
a new prop guy.
[ yells ]
Grab a camel, guys.
Let's split.
I will split you...
in half!
[ coughing ]
Herr Limburger,
you fool.
You let them get away.
I'll get you yet,
Oklahoma Jones!
Aha!
Signs of civilization.
You mean junk?
Jones:
No, I mean junk food.
- [ door opens ]
- [ bell rings ]
Oklahoma!
Rhonda!
Ow!
What was that for?
That's for jilting me
10 years ago
when you were
a young instructor
and I was
your innocent student.
Yeah, but at least
you got an A.
Don't change
the subject.
How about
some service here?
I'm hungry.
Oh, typical.
Always thinking
of yourself first.
Yeah, but I always
thought of you second.
- Really?
- Really.
Close your eyes, kids.
Here comes
the mushy part.
Oh, Oklahoma.
Oh, Rhonda.
Hey, what happened
to the schmaltzy love scene
music?
Are the sound editors
out to lunch or something?
Bouquet:
No, but you are...
permanently.
[ muffled ]
Let me go, you--
[ yells ]
Now hand over
that map
or it's curtains
for your girlfriend.
That's terrible.
I know she'd prefer
Venetian blinds.
Jones:
So there we were,
trussed up like turkeys
in a roasting pan,
waiting for
the bomb to go off.
- The evil Professor Bouquet
- [ fuse sizzling ]
had absconded with the map
to King Midas' castle
and left us up the creek
without a poodle.
That's paddle.
Sorry.
Typo.
Aren't you gonna
do something
to get us
out of here, Okie?
You're the macho one,
remember?
I thought macho was out
and sensitive was in.
[ grunting ]
That Limburger guy
sure has a way with knots.
Bet he does
some dandy macramé.
Brit:
The bomb, Okie.
Don't worry.
No harm
will come to me
while I'm wearing
this solid gold Swiss timepiece.
[ explosion ]
[ ticks ]
Takes a licking
and keeps on ticking.
And now
back to our show.
We've gotta reach
King Midas before Bouquet
and Limburger do.
But we have no map.
I forgot about that.
We're sunk.
If we don't make
it out of here,
we'll never
get to do a sequel.
Well, my place is history.
Guess I'll have to join you
so I can cash in
on Midas' riches.
Besides, since you
lost the map,
I'm the only one
who knows the way.
[ hissing ]
[ squawking ]
Maybe we should've
taken the freeway.
I thought you'd appreciate
the scenic route.
So how do you know so much
about this Midas thing?
Don't you remember?
I did my senior thesis
on Midas.
Besides, I used to take
my camel to his place
for tune-ups.
[ yells ]
So how did he acquire
this... affliction?
Well, he was
Bob Midas then.
He started out
with nothing
but a humble muffler shop
in the desert.
He was a huge success.
He was the king
of the muffler biz.
- [ yells ]
- [ blasts ]
Rhonda:
So he set up franchises
all over.
There were Midas camel
muffler shops everywhere.
Bob grew
fabulously wealthy,
but still
he wanted more.
One day a superior being
named Cartier Tiffany...
- Ah!
- brought his camel in
for a complete overhaul.
[ thud ]
Wow.
Rhonda:
He gave Bob
a wonderful gift
in exchange
for reviving his camel.
Everything Midas touched
turned to gold.
Jones: Hold it!
I thought it was mold.
Everything he touched
turned to mold.
You were wrong.
Me wrong?
Impossible.
The only mold
is in your ears.
Gold with a G.
Oh, gold.
No wonder everyone's
so excited.
Come on.
We're at the entrance
to the secret passage
to Midasland.
Are you sure
this is safe?
Of course.
Ooh, it's in Latin.
What does it say,
Okie?
"Caveat snakus fallum."
Watch for falling snakes.
[ gulps ]
Uh...
ladies before
gentlemen.
My hero.
[ all yelling ]
[ thud ]
Snakes!
Get me out of here.
Oh, stop it,
you big baby.
They're more afraid of you
than you are of them.
I don't think so.
[ hissing ]
Why don't you imagine
that the snakes
are something
that you aren't afraid of?
Think of
your favorite animal.
Favorite animal, huh?
Okay.
- [ mooing ]
- It worked!
Don't you
just love cows?
They're so
affectionate.
Cows!
I'm terrified
of cows.
I'd rather
be surrounded by snakes.
Snakes?
Did somebody say snakes?
[ hissing ]
Whoa!
I'm not scared,
I'm not scared.
- I'm not--
- Watch out, Oklahoma!
Whoa!
- [ screams ]
- [ crash ]
Midasland.
Wow.
[ thunks ]
Heavy metal.
This way.
Rhonda:
This is Midas' wife....
and his two kids.
Jones:
My, they're well-behaved.
A bit shy, perhaps.
And, finally,
the king himself.
Rhonda, how nice
to see you.
King Midas!
I'm Oklahoma Jones.
Are you nuts?
You wanna end up
like them?
[ gulps ]
Whoops.
Tell us what it's like
to be the richest man
in the world.
It's lonely at the top.
And I'm starving.
I haven't eaten
a thing in years.
You've got
to help him, Oklahoma.
Sure.
No job's
too challenging
for Oklahoma Jones.
There is
a magic coffee mug
that can lift
this curse.
But to get it,
you must go to...
the Tomb of Dishware.
[ all gasp ]
[ together ]
The Tomb of Dishware?
I have to ponder this
for a while.
Isn't it about time
for a commercial break?
Bouquet:
Oklahoma Jones must never
leave the tomb alive.
I want that gold
for myself
and my gruesome
colleagues.
The gold is mine!
And as long as Midas
has the magic touch,
I'll have
an endless supply.
[ laughs ]
[ laughing ]
[ all grunting ]
Now, legend has it
that the entrance
to the Great Sphinx
is through the snout.
Hmm.
There must be a trick lever
around here somewhere.
[ yells ]
Yeow!
[ gasps, yells ]
[ slurps ]
[ fabric ripping ]
Hey, what
are you doing?
I'm making a torch.
But that's
my smoking jacket.
Be thankful I didn't
take your trousers.
[ gasps ]
Let's see, according to
my knowledge of hieroglyphics...
that inscription says...
"Play whatever
tune you wish,
but get it wrong
and you'll get squished."
Hmm...
why don't you try?
I've got a tin ear.
- [ clanks ]
- See?
I can't.
In these stories, the heroines
are supposed to
scream a lot
and act scared.
[ rattling ]
We're gonna be crushed!
Oklahoma,
do something!
You might remember
this next number
from a long time ago
and far, far away.
[ rattling ]
Well, at least we'll
all have thinner thighs.
My thighs are fine,
thank you. Try again.
[ rattling ]
Brit:
Well, Okie...
here we are
in the Tomb of Dishware.
Now it's time for you
to face massive danger
and get the magic mug.
- Says who?
- [ gun cocks ]
- Bouquet: Says me, Okie.
- [ screams ]
How nice of you
to show up, Mr. Jones.
Now you can risk your life
to get the mug for us.
Couldn't I just
wash your car instead?
Get going.
Um, according
to my thesis,
to reach the tomb,
one must solve
three riddles.
The first,
"What lays eggs
and goes quack?"
Hmm.
A chicken?
Nah, a chicken goes...
[ clucks ]
A parrot?
Nah, a parrot goes,
"Polly want a cracker?"
Okie, duck!
Yeah, that's it.
Duck.
Boy, I bet you played
a mean game of charades.
[ together ]
No, stupid!
Duck!
[ gasps, yells ]
What ho!
Flying saucers.
Hopscotch,
my favorite.
To pass safely,
you must correctly
spell the word
"Encyclopedia."
How come it's never
a word like "cat"?
E.
Whew.
N.
Hey, I'm pretty
good at this.
If we ever
get out of this alive,
remind me to enter
a spelling bee.
Where was I?
Oh, yeah,
"Encyclopedia."
E-N-S...
whoa!
- [ gasps ]
- I say...
do you think I
could have his hat?
From now on,
I'm sticking to board games.
[ grunts ]
This is the toughest
challenge of all.
You must believe
that you can walk
across this chasm
on your own
imaginary bridge.
So long, good-bye,
adios, I'm outta here.
I may take a lot of ridiculous,
near-fatal risks,
but I'm not stupid.
I see a bridge.
Don't you see a bridge?
And what
a lovely bridge it is.
One small step for man,
hopefully not
one giant fall for me.
Hey, it works!
Solid construction.
I guess the trick
to this believing thing
is to be 100% sure.
But I wonder
what would happen
if I had just
the teeniest bit of doubt.
Whoa!
I believe, I believe!
♪ I'm dreaming
to dream ♪
♪ The impossible
dream... ♪
Oof.
Well, it's about time.
I opened this lousy shop
700 years ago
and finally a customer.
Why open a shop
in the middle of a sphinx?
The rent was cheap.
That's the last time
I feed somebody
a straight line.
Excuse me, I'm looking
for a magic mug,
preferably
dishwasher-proof.
Magic mugs?
I got a million of 'em.
Sol:
But choose wisely.
Only one will remove
the Midas touch.
And the others will do
who knows what.
Bouquet:
Thank you for leading me
to the magic mug,
Professor Jones.
What do you
want with it?
You don't have
the Midas touch.
Yes, but with Midas
under my power,
I'll be the richest man
in the world.
Now hand me the mug
so I can smash it
into a thousand pieces.
[ laughs ]
Sol:
Remember...
choose wisely.
You win, Bouquet.
But before
you smash it,
allow me to toast
your victory.
But, Oklahoma,
how can you give in
so easily?
It's been a long day.
I'm tired.
We'll have
plenty more adventures.
Hmm, I guess Midas
isn't the only one
with the golden touch.
Maybe this
is what they mean
by a hardened
criminal.
You interested in
some solid gold bad guys?
- [ rumbling ]
- All: Whoa!
It's Cartier.
He's angry that
we're tampering with forces
that we cannot
comprehend.
Boy, I'd hate
to see him
after he gets
a parking ticket.
Let's get
out of here.
That's it.
Run away.
Eh, you kids today.
Make a mess and leave
the cleaning up for me.
The magic mug.
You found it.
Drink all you want, king.
It's decaf.
I'm cured!
What took you so long,
you no-good,
lousy bum?
And why didn't you
ever polish me?
I want my allowance.
[ crying ]
Boy, does she need
a diaper change.
Ah...
the soothing voices
of my loving family.
You know, Okie,
it's about time
we started raising
a family of our own.
Family, suburbs,
the old nine-to-five
thing...
Hey, Rhonda, watch out
for that boulder.
What boulder?
I don't see any boulder.
Okie, where are you?
Okie, come back!
I'll get your hat cleaned
for you, Okie.
Wait!
- ♪ Gordon, send us...
- ♪ Oh, send us...
♪ Into outer space
♪ 'Cause there ain't
nobody like you ♪
♪ In the Melmacian race
♪ Teach us, Gordon
♪ Make us twitch.
Hah!
I kill me!