ALF Tales (1988–1990): Season 1, Episode 4 - Legend of Sleepy Hollow - full transcript
In this ALF Tales episode, ALF and his friends retell the Legend of Sleep Hollow.
[ORCHESTRA PLAYING]
Announcer: WITH ADVENTURE!
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
LIONS GATE ENTERTAINMENT
YO!
GORDON "ALF TALES"
SHUMWAY HERE,
I PLAY ICHABOD CRANE,
A SUPERSTITIOUS GUY
FROM A SMALL VILLAGE.
ICHABOD'S LINED UP
A JOB INTERVIEW
IN THE WORLD'S
MOST EXCITING CITY,
SLEEPY HOLLOW.
WHAT ICHABOD DOESN'T KNOW
IS THAT ONE REASON
SLEEPY HOLLOW IS SO EXCITING
IS THAT IT'S HAUNTED.
P.A.: ATTENTION,
20th CENTURY LIMITED EXPRESS
FROM ANAHEIM AND DESOUSA
TO SLEEPY HOLLOW,
NOW ARRIVING ON TRACK 2.
SAY! WHAT A TOWN!
SENSATIONAL!
PARDON ME, FRIEND,
CAN YOU TELL ME HOW TO GET
TO THE VAN TASSEL BUILDING?
MA'AM, WOULD
YOU BE SO KIND--
IF IT'S NOT
TOO MUCH TROUBLE--
BOY, THINGS SURE WORK
DIFFERENTLY IN THE BIG CITY.
HEY, YOU!
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
VAN TASSEL BUILDING!
OUT THE DOOR, LEFT,
2 BLOCKS DOWN.
ALL RIGHT. ON YOUR WAY.
YOU GOTTA KNOW THE LINGO.
[WHISTLES]
[CARS HONKING]
OHH!
[GROANS]
WHOA!
THE VAN TASSEL BUILDING,
HOME OF
THE DAILY HEMISPHERE
AND MAYBE A JOB.
[ELEVATOR DINGS]
AAH!
WHOA!
UHH!
[GROANS]
GRR!
AWFULLY NICE
RUNNING INTO YOU.
LET ME JUST TRY TO FIX...
GRR!
GRR!
[STRAINS]
UHH!
HEY!
NO WONDER YOU
WALKED INTO ME.
YOU STEPPED ON A CRACK.
THAT'S BAD LUCK.
LISTEN, YOU'D BETTER
MOVE YOUR FOOT.
WHY DON'T WE
JUST STEP THIS WAY?
GRR...
[ROARS]
[GASPS]
HAVE IT YOUR WAY.
SEE YOU LATER, KONG.
DON'T TAKE
ANY WOODEN BANANAS.
[ELEVATOR DINGS]
GRR!
OOF! UHH!
WHOA!
WHOA! AAH!
UHH!
C-COULD YOU
ROLL THIS WAY?
I GOTTA GET
THIS C-C-COPY
TO THE PUBLISHER.
LET'S MAKE LIKE
CHRISTMAS AND UNWRAP.
NAME'S CRANE.
ICHABOD CRANE.
I WAS EXPECTING YOU.
I-I-I'M HENDRICK.
I HOPE YOU GET
THE J-J-JOB.
YOU'LL LIKE IT HERE.
EVERYONE'S
SO FRIENDLY.
P.A.: HENDRICK!
WHERE'S THAT WIRE COPY?
HENDRICK!
HENDRICK!
WHO'S THE AMBASSADOR
OF GOODWILL?
T-T-THAT'S
MR. VAN T-T-TASSEL,
THE PUBLISHER.
YOU'RE SUPPOSED
TO MEET WITH HIM
IN 5 MINUTES.
MAYBE I'D BETTER
COME BACK LATER.
GIVE THE BIG GUY
A CHANCE TO RELAX,
GET OLD,
RETIRE.
HE ISN'T
SO B-B-BAD,
ONCE YOU GET
USED TO HIM.
KIND OF LIKE
A DULL THROBBING PAIN.
[JAZZ PLAYING]
WELL, HELLO.
[CRASH]
I'M KATRINA.
YOU MUST BE MR. CRANE.
I MUST BE IN HEAVEN.
YOU'RE JUST IN TIME
FOR YOUR APPOINTMENT
WITH MR. VAN TASSEL.
I'D RATHER
STAY HERE WITH YOU.
I'LL BE HERE
WHEN YOU GET OUT.
THEN YOU'LL WAIT FOR ME?
FOR HOWEVER
LONG IT TAKES.
TILL LUNCH
IF NECESSARY.
GOOD LUCK IN THERE.
THINGS SURE ARE DRAMATIC
IN THE BIG CITY.
BE STRONG.
MR. VAN TASSEL,
IT'S A PLEASURE TO--
TINY TIM, SCHMIMY TIM!
I DON'T CARE WHO
THE DICKENS YOU HAVE
TO SUPPORT, CRACHETT!
YOU'RE FIRED!
NO, WAIT.
I TAKE THAT BACK.
I GIVE YOU A RAISE!
A BIG, BIG RAISE!
NOWYOU'RE FIRED!
[GROANS]
THIS WAY I SAVE
EVEN MORE MONEY!
[CHUCKLES]
GOOD-BYE.
AND LET THAT BE
A LESSON TO YOU.
ONE WRONG MOVE,
AND YOU'RE OUT, OUT, OUT!
WHO ARE YOU?
I'M ICHABOD CRANE.
YOU WANTED
TO INTERVIEW ME
FOR THE STAFF
PHOTOGRAPHER POSITION.
PHOTOGRAPHER?
INTERVIEW?
YES! WELL...
WHAT'S THAT THING
AROUND YOUR NECK?
A CAMERA.
YOU'RE HIRED.
IT'S A PLEASURE TO
WORK WITH YOU, SIR.
IT'S ALSO
A PLEASURE TO WORK
WITH YOUR SECRETARY.
SHE'S A BABE!
SHE'S A BEAUTY!
SHE'S A BOMBSHELL!
SHE'S A DAUGHTER.
NAMELY, MINE.
DID YOU THINK I
MEANT YOURSECRETARY?
I MEANT
THE SECRETARY OF STATE.
YEAH, WHAT
A PUBLIC OFFICIAL!
I SEE BIG THINGS
FOR YOU, CRANE.
BIG, BIG THINGS!
THAT'S WHY
I'M PUTTING YOU
ON SLEEPY HOLLOW'S
HOTTEST STORY!
THE HEADLESS HORSEMAN.
THE WHAT-LESS HORSEMAN?
THIS HORSEMAN IS
TERRORIZING THE CITY.
THING IS...
HE'S GOT NO HEAD
TO SPEAK OF.
NO HEAD?
NOT EVEN ONE.
THERE IS A LEGEND
THAT HE'S AN OLD SOLDIER
WHO LOST HIS HEAD
HUNDREDS OF YEARS AGO,
AND HE'S SEARCHING
SLEEPY HOLLOW
[LAUGHING]
UNTIL HE FINDS IT.
IN OTHER WORDS,
HE'S A GHOST.
A GHOST?!
YOU'RE GONNA
GET ME A PICTURE
OF OLD HEADLESS HERE, OK?
WELL,
IT'S LIKE THIS...
PORTRAITS ARE
MY SPECIALTY.
YOU KNOW, HEADSHOTS?
AND THIS GUY,
WELL...
[CHUCKLES]
DO IT.
MAYBE I SHOULD
START SMALL.
A GUY WITH NO...HAT.
DO IT.
WHY NOT SEND YOUR
BEST PHOTOGRAPHER?
I SENT OUT OUR BEST GUY,
AND OUR SECOND BEST,
AND THIRD BEST!
THEY ALL VANISHED
WITHOUT A TRACE!
I HOPE THIS
ISN'T A TREND.
YOU'LL REPORT TO
OUR CITY EDITOR,
BROM BONES.
AND YOU'D BETTER
LISTEN TO HIM.
NOT ONLY DID HE BREAK
THE HORSEMAN STORY,
BUT HE'S PROBABLY
GOING TO MARRY MY KATRINA.
BONES, GET IN HERE!
MARRY KATRINA?
YEAH!
YOU WANNA
MAKE SOMETHING
OUT OF IT?
BONES,
THIS IS ICHABOD CRANE.UHH!
HE'S TAKING PICTURES
FOR THE HORSEMAN STORY.
I'M LOOKING
FORWARD
TO WORKING
THIS GUY OVER.
I MEAN,
WORKING OVER
THIS GUY.
I WONDER IF
THIS JOB COMES WITH
MEDICAL BENEFITS.
YOU BET, SIR!
I'LL FIND THAT GHOST
IF IT'S THE LAST THING I DO!
FIRST THING I'LL DO
IS HOP THE NEXT TRAIN HOME.
ICHABOD...
THE BOSS'S DAUGHTER!
S-SOMETHING I CAN
DO FOR YOU?
AAH!
HOW ABOUT
A DATE TONIGHT?
WELL, UH,
THE TRUTH IS I-I DON'T--
I-I SHOULDN'T
COME ANYWHERE...
NEAR YOU.
DON'T YOU LIKE ME?
I'M WISE. YOU'RE
ENGAGED TO THAT BIG APE.
YOU'RE THE GORILLA
HIS DREAMS.
OH, ICHY!
ICHY?
DADDY'S BEEN
TRYING TO GET ME
TO MARRY BROM BONES
FOR YEARS,
BUT I LIKE YOU.
NOTHING DOING, SISTER!
HE FINDS OUT
I'M DATING YOU,
AND IT'LL BE
MONKEY SEE, MONKEY HIT.
BESIDES THAT,
HE'S GONNA BE AN IN-LAW
TO THAT OUTLAW IN THERE.
BUT I WAS
THINKING OF YOU.
ME?
AND ME.
YOU?
TOGETHER.
NOT SEPARATE.
DANCING THE NIGHT AWAY.
2 DANCING FOOLS.
BIG FOOLS.
GREAT BIG FOOLS.
SO I'LL SEE YOU TONIGHT.
8:00.
AT THE NOSELAND BALLROOM.
NOSE O'CLOCK.
8 LAND BALLROOM.
MAKE IT 7:55.
[WHISTLING]
WHOA-WHOA.
[WHISTLING]
GRR!
[WHISTLING]
M-M-MR. CRANE,
I'M SUP-P-POSED
TO SHOW YOU YOUR NEW OFFICE.
NEW OFFICE?
POINT THE WAY, HENDRICK.
H-H-HOW DID
IT G-G-GO
BACK THERE,
M-MR. CRANE?
PIECE OF CAKE.
EASY AS PIE.
SWEET AS SUGAR.
SMOOTH AS PUDDING.
Y-YOU WANNA GET SOME LUNCH?
I DON'T USE FOOD.
I LIVE ON LOVE.
Y-Y-YOU DON'T MEAN
MISS VAN T-T-TASSEL!
IS THAT EASY TO TELL?
B-B-BUT WHAT
ABOUT BROM BONES?
DON'T WORRY.
IF PUSH COMES TO SHOVE,
I'LL HANDLE TALL,
DARK, AND SIMIAN.
O-OH, NO!
YOU WERE MY FAVORITE
ONE SO FAR, TOO.
YOU'VE GOTTA LEARN
TO RELAX, HENDRICK.
LOOK AT ME.
I'VE GOT A DATE
WITH AN ANGEL,
AN ASSIGNMENT
WITH A GHOST,
AND AN OFFICE
WITH A VIEW.
LIFE IS PERFECT.
WHY IS THERE SO MUCH
TILE IN MY OFFICE?
MEN?!
WHO PUT MY DESK
IN THE BATHROOM?
M-M-MR. VAN TASSEL,
SIR.
'SCUSE ME.AAH!
UHH!
UHH!
CRANE!
I'VE GOT ONE THING
TO SAY TO YOU...
IF I EVER SEE YOU SO MUCH
AS LOOKAT MISS VAN TASSEL...
[GROWLS]
UHH!
EVERY DAY ON YOUR CALENDAR
WILL BE FRIDAY THE 13th.
WHAT WAS I SAYING
A MINUTE AGO, HENDRICK?
LIFE IS
PERFECT, SIR.
SHUT UP.
WHY AM I GOING ON A DATE
WITH KATRINA VAN TASSEL?
BROM BONES WILL TAKE ME
APART IF HE FINDS OUT.
BUT WHAT CAN I DO?
I'M IN LOVE.
I'VE GOT THE JITTERBUG.
AAH!
WAIT A MINUTE.
IF BROM BONES
SEES ME WITH KATRINA,
HE'LL HAVE MY HEAD.
NO!
WHOO!
SO WHAT IF I LOSE MY HEAD?
I'LL STILL BE NECK
OVER HEELS IN LOVE
WITH KATRINA.
I CAN FEEL IT.
MY LUCK'S
BEGINNING TO CHANGE.
FROM HERE ON IN,
IT'S ALL 4 LEAF CLOVERS.
ALL THE SIGNS ARE POSITIVE.
[MARCHING FOOTSTEPS]
[HOOVES CLACKING]
[HOOVES CLACKING]
[HOOVES CLACKING]
[HOOVES CLACKING]
[WHINNIES]
IF THAT GUY DOESN'T YELL
"HI-HO-SILVER" IN 5 SECONDS,
I'M RUNNING.
[GALLOPING HOOF BEATS]
AAH!
[GHOULISH LAUGHTER]
HO HO HA HA HA HA!
[TRAIN SIREN BLARES]
UHH!
JUST PASSING THROUGH, FOLKS.
[PANTING]
UH, I MUST'VE LOST HIM.
ONLY A GENIUS COULD'VE
FOLLOWED ME HERE.
[HORSE WHINNIES]
HUH?!
AAH!
THIS GUY'S GOT SOME
HEAD ON HIS SHOULDERS.
[GASPS]
NOW I KNOW WHY
THEY CALL IT A DEAD END!
[GHOULISH LAUGHTER]
LISTEN, I KNOW JUST WHAT
YOU'VE GONE THROUGH.
YOU SAY TO THE BARBER,
"A LITTLE
OFF THE TOP," AND--
ICHABOD CRANE,
HEAR ME.
LEAVE SLEEPY HOLLOW
AND NEVER COME BACK!
WHEN TOMORROW'S
FULL MOON RISES HIGH,
YE MUST BE GONE,
OR YE SHALL DIE.
I'M GONNA GET
HIS HEAD HANDED TO ME.
[GHOULISH LAUGHTER]
WELL, WHAT
A WONDERFUL FIRST DAY
IN THE BIG CITY.
UHH!
WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?
I'M SAYING YOU BETTER
FIND YOURSELF ANOTHER
HEADLESS HUNTER.
I'M PACKING IT IN,
MOVING IT OUT,
HEADING BACK HOME WHERE
THERE AREN'T ANY GHOSTS.
YOU CAN'T WALK OUT
ON BAULTUS VAN TASSEL!
WHY, IF I WEREN'T
THE PUBLISHER, I'D--I'D--
DO THIS?
HEY!
YEAH. THEN I'D--I'D--
DO THIS?[GULP]
YEAH. THEN I'D--I'D--
DO THIS!
NO. I WOULDN'T
GO THAT FAR.
YOU STOOD ME UP
LAST NIGHT!
WHOA!
THE HEADLESS HORSEMAN HAD
OTHER PLANS FOR MY EVENING.
DON'T TELL ME YOU'RE
SEEING GHOSTS.
ONLY WHEN I'M NOT
RUNNING AWAY FROM THEM.
THE ONLY THING
THAT'S RUNNING AWAY
IS YOUR IMAGINATION.
THE HORSEMAN VERY NICELY
SUGGESTED THAT I LEAVE TOWN
BY THE TIME
THE FULL MOON RISES TONIGHT,
OR I'LL DIE.
SO I'LL JUST
BE TODDLING ALONG.
[WINDING SQUEAL]
I REMEMBER THE DOOR
BEING CLOSER.
OH, ICHY-POO,
YOU CAN'T GO AWAY.
DON'T YOU KNOW
I LOVE YOU, YOU LUG?
YOU LOVE ME? ME LUG?
I LOVE YOU, TOO, KATRINA.
STAY IN
SLEEPY HOLLOW
JUST FOR ONE
MORE NIGHT.
IF YOU DO THAT,
YOU'LL KNOW
THERE'S NOTHING
TO BE SCARED OF!
ICHABOD,
DO IT FOR ME.
FOR US.
WELL, I WOULDN'T
WANT TO LET US DOWN.
YOU CAN COME TO
THE BIG HALLOWEEN PARTY
AT THE MANSION TONIGHT.
BUT WON'T
BROM BONES BE THERE?
YES, BUT HE'S REALLY
A HONEY-BUNNY.
A BIG, BRAINLESS,
OBNOXIOUS HONEY-BUNNY,
BUT AFTER ALL,
ARE YOU A MAN
OR A MOUSE?
I'M A MAN!
A MAN, I SAY!
A MAN!
IT'S GOOD TO BE A MAN!
ANYBODY HAVE ANY CHEESE?
[SWING MUSIC PLAYING]
I'M SO GLAD
YOU CAME!
AAH!
WELL, I REALLY
SHOULD BE GOING.
BUT THE PARTY'S
JUST STARTING!
ALL THESE PARTIES
ARE THE SAME.
YOU TALK, YOU EAT,
THE MOON RISES,
AND A GHOST KILLS YOU.
WHA--
UH-OH.
CRANE,
GET YOUR HANDS
OFF OF HER!
NO PROBLEM!
I'M GOING TO MURDERIZE YOU!
WHOA!
[SWING MUSIC PLAYING]
MAN OR MOUSE,
MAN OR MOUSE?
AAH![GHOULISH LAUGHTER]
I'M A MOUSE.
I'M A MOUSE.
I'M A MOUSE.
AAH!
AAH!
AAH!
OOF!
HEY!
UHH!
[GHOULISH LAUGHTER]
I GUESS I'M A MAN.
[GHOULISH LAUGHTER]
SO HE'S PLAYING A LITTLE
GAME OF CAT AND MOUSE.
I MEAN, CAT AND MAN.
HO HO HA HA HA HA!
HO HO HA HA HA HA!
HO HO HA HA HA HA!
HO HO HA HA HA HA!
HO HO HA HA HA HA HA!
HO HO HA HA HA!
HO HO HA HA HA!
HEY!
HMM.
I GOTTA TAKE
A HEADLESS COUNT.
[CROWD MURMURING]
WOW, LOOK AT THAT!
HUH?
WHAT GIVES AROUND HERE?
[ALL GASP]
BROM BONES!
WHY'D YOU DO IT?
I WANTED TO SCARE YOU
AWAY FROM KATRINA.
BESIDES, THE STORY'S
MADE ME A BIG MAN
WITH THE BOSS.
OF ALL THE DISHONEST,
UNETHICAL--
BONES! YOU'RE FIRED!
I POSED AS
THE HEADLESS HORSEMAN
TO BOOST CIRCULATION
OF MY PAPER!
OK, JUNIOR. UNWRAP.
I-I WANTED TO HELP YOU
GET A P-P-PICTURE
OF THE HEADLESS HORSEMAN.
I-I ONLY D-DID IT
'CAUSE I LIKE YOU,
AND NOT FOR MONETARY GAIN.
All: AW!
I-I GUESS THIS
MEANS I'M FIRED,
HUH, MR. VAN T-T-TASSEL?
YES, IT DOES,
HENDRICK.
WELL, THAT SETTLES THAT.
UH, ACTUALLY, SIR,
IPOSED AS
THE HEADLESS HORSEMAN,
TO GET SOME NATIONAL
PUBLICITY FOR SLEEPY HOLLOW.
I'M TREASURER OF...
THE "LET'S DRESS UP LIKE
THE HEADLESS HORSEMAN"
SOCIETY.
I DO IT BECAUSE IT MAKES ME
FEEL GOOD ABOUT MYSELF.
ALL RIGHT, THAT'S IT.
I'VE HAD IT
WITH THE BIG CITY.
FROM NOW ON, IT'S JUST ME,
THE WOMAN I LOVE,
AND A POLICE HORSE.
OH, ICHY!
AND I PROMISE,
NO MORE SUPERSTITIONS.
NO MORE GHOSTS.
NO MORE RUNNING AWAY.
[CHEERING]
ALL RIGHT, FRIEND.
HALLOWEEN'S OVER!
[GHOULISH LAUGHTER]
[GHOULISH LAUGHTER]
ICHY, UH, REMEMBER
WHAT YOU SAID
ABOUT NO MORE
SUPERSTITIONS
OR GHOSTS
OR RUNNING AWAY?
YES?
FORGET IT!
AAH!
AAH!
[GHOULISH LAUGHTER]
ICHABOD,
WHERE IS YOUR LITTLE
HOMETOWN ANYWAY?
BROOKLYN!
[GHOULISH LAUGHING]
[HORSE WHINNIES]
[GHOULISH LAUGHTER]
WELL, I SEE BY
THE OLD CLOCK ON THE WALL,
THAT IT'S TIME
FOR THE OLD ALFER
TO FISH ANOTHER LETTER
OUT OF THE OLD MAILBAG.
OH!
HERE'S ONE.
"DEAR ALF,
"I FEEL MY BEST YEARS
ARE BEHIND ME.
"SURE I'M DOING
FINE IN THIRD GRADE,
"BUT I ALWAYS THINK BACK
"TO MY GLORY DAYS
IN KINDERGARTEN.
"I WAS YOUNG, I WAS STRONG,
"I WAS CAREFREE.
"WHAT COULD I DO
TO RECAPTURE THE ZEST
"OF THAT ERSTWHILE ERA?
"SIGNED,
ANTIQUATED IN ANAHEIM."
DEAR "A" AND "A",
STOP WHINING!
YOU CAN'T LIVE IN THE PAST.
THINK OF THE FUTURE.
NEXT TUESDAY, FOR EXAMPLE.
IF YOU WANT
TO RELIVE THE OLD DAYS,
ORGANIZE A REUNION
OF YOUR OLD CLASSMATES.
THE WAY THEY'VE
GOTTEN FAT AND BALD
WILL CHEER YOU UP, NO END.
WELL, THAT'S IT
FOR ALF'S MAILBAG.
SEE YOU NEXT TIME.
♪ GORDON, SEND US
♪ OH, SEND US
♪ INTO OUTER SPACE
♪ OUTER SPACE
♪ 'CAUSE THERE AIN'T
NOBODY LIKE YOU ♪
♪ IN THE MELMACKIAN RACE
♪ TEACH US, GORDON...
HA! I KILL ME!
Announcer: WITH ADVENTURE!
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
LIONS GATE ENTERTAINMENT
YO!
GORDON "ALF TALES"
SHUMWAY HERE,
I PLAY ICHABOD CRANE,
A SUPERSTITIOUS GUY
FROM A SMALL VILLAGE.
ICHABOD'S LINED UP
A JOB INTERVIEW
IN THE WORLD'S
MOST EXCITING CITY,
SLEEPY HOLLOW.
WHAT ICHABOD DOESN'T KNOW
IS THAT ONE REASON
SLEEPY HOLLOW IS SO EXCITING
IS THAT IT'S HAUNTED.
P.A.: ATTENTION,
20th CENTURY LIMITED EXPRESS
FROM ANAHEIM AND DESOUSA
TO SLEEPY HOLLOW,
NOW ARRIVING ON TRACK 2.
SAY! WHAT A TOWN!
SENSATIONAL!
PARDON ME, FRIEND,
CAN YOU TELL ME HOW TO GET
TO THE VAN TASSEL BUILDING?
MA'AM, WOULD
YOU BE SO KIND--
IF IT'S NOT
TOO MUCH TROUBLE--
BOY, THINGS SURE WORK
DIFFERENTLY IN THE BIG CITY.
HEY, YOU!
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
VAN TASSEL BUILDING!
OUT THE DOOR, LEFT,
2 BLOCKS DOWN.
ALL RIGHT. ON YOUR WAY.
YOU GOTTA KNOW THE LINGO.
[WHISTLES]
[CARS HONKING]
OHH!
[GROANS]
WHOA!
THE VAN TASSEL BUILDING,
HOME OF
THE DAILY HEMISPHERE
AND MAYBE A JOB.
[ELEVATOR DINGS]
AAH!
WHOA!
UHH!
[GROANS]
GRR!
AWFULLY NICE
RUNNING INTO YOU.
LET ME JUST TRY TO FIX...
GRR!
GRR!
[STRAINS]
UHH!
HEY!
NO WONDER YOU
WALKED INTO ME.
YOU STEPPED ON A CRACK.
THAT'S BAD LUCK.
LISTEN, YOU'D BETTER
MOVE YOUR FOOT.
WHY DON'T WE
JUST STEP THIS WAY?
GRR...
[ROARS]
[GASPS]
HAVE IT YOUR WAY.
SEE YOU LATER, KONG.
DON'T TAKE
ANY WOODEN BANANAS.
[ELEVATOR DINGS]
GRR!
OOF! UHH!
WHOA!
WHOA! AAH!
UHH!
C-COULD YOU
ROLL THIS WAY?
I GOTTA GET
THIS C-C-COPY
TO THE PUBLISHER.
LET'S MAKE LIKE
CHRISTMAS AND UNWRAP.
NAME'S CRANE.
ICHABOD CRANE.
I WAS EXPECTING YOU.
I-I-I'M HENDRICK.
I HOPE YOU GET
THE J-J-JOB.
YOU'LL LIKE IT HERE.
EVERYONE'S
SO FRIENDLY.
P.A.: HENDRICK!
WHERE'S THAT WIRE COPY?
HENDRICK!
HENDRICK!
WHO'S THE AMBASSADOR
OF GOODWILL?
T-T-THAT'S
MR. VAN T-T-TASSEL,
THE PUBLISHER.
YOU'RE SUPPOSED
TO MEET WITH HIM
IN 5 MINUTES.
MAYBE I'D BETTER
COME BACK LATER.
GIVE THE BIG GUY
A CHANCE TO RELAX,
GET OLD,
RETIRE.
HE ISN'T
SO B-B-BAD,
ONCE YOU GET
USED TO HIM.
KIND OF LIKE
A DULL THROBBING PAIN.
[JAZZ PLAYING]
WELL, HELLO.
[CRASH]
I'M KATRINA.
YOU MUST BE MR. CRANE.
I MUST BE IN HEAVEN.
YOU'RE JUST IN TIME
FOR YOUR APPOINTMENT
WITH MR. VAN TASSEL.
I'D RATHER
STAY HERE WITH YOU.
I'LL BE HERE
WHEN YOU GET OUT.
THEN YOU'LL WAIT FOR ME?
FOR HOWEVER
LONG IT TAKES.
TILL LUNCH
IF NECESSARY.
GOOD LUCK IN THERE.
THINGS SURE ARE DRAMATIC
IN THE BIG CITY.
BE STRONG.
MR. VAN TASSEL,
IT'S A PLEASURE TO--
TINY TIM, SCHMIMY TIM!
I DON'T CARE WHO
THE DICKENS YOU HAVE
TO SUPPORT, CRACHETT!
YOU'RE FIRED!
NO, WAIT.
I TAKE THAT BACK.
I GIVE YOU A RAISE!
A BIG, BIG RAISE!
NOWYOU'RE FIRED!
[GROANS]
THIS WAY I SAVE
EVEN MORE MONEY!
[CHUCKLES]
GOOD-BYE.
AND LET THAT BE
A LESSON TO YOU.
ONE WRONG MOVE,
AND YOU'RE OUT, OUT, OUT!
WHO ARE YOU?
I'M ICHABOD CRANE.
YOU WANTED
TO INTERVIEW ME
FOR THE STAFF
PHOTOGRAPHER POSITION.
PHOTOGRAPHER?
INTERVIEW?
YES! WELL...
WHAT'S THAT THING
AROUND YOUR NECK?
A CAMERA.
YOU'RE HIRED.
IT'S A PLEASURE TO
WORK WITH YOU, SIR.
IT'S ALSO
A PLEASURE TO WORK
WITH YOUR SECRETARY.
SHE'S A BABE!
SHE'S A BEAUTY!
SHE'S A BOMBSHELL!
SHE'S A DAUGHTER.
NAMELY, MINE.
DID YOU THINK I
MEANT YOURSECRETARY?
I MEANT
THE SECRETARY OF STATE.
YEAH, WHAT
A PUBLIC OFFICIAL!
I SEE BIG THINGS
FOR YOU, CRANE.
BIG, BIG THINGS!
THAT'S WHY
I'M PUTTING YOU
ON SLEEPY HOLLOW'S
HOTTEST STORY!
THE HEADLESS HORSEMAN.
THE WHAT-LESS HORSEMAN?
THIS HORSEMAN IS
TERRORIZING THE CITY.
THING IS...
HE'S GOT NO HEAD
TO SPEAK OF.
NO HEAD?
NOT EVEN ONE.
THERE IS A LEGEND
THAT HE'S AN OLD SOLDIER
WHO LOST HIS HEAD
HUNDREDS OF YEARS AGO,
AND HE'S SEARCHING
SLEEPY HOLLOW
[LAUGHING]
UNTIL HE FINDS IT.
IN OTHER WORDS,
HE'S A GHOST.
A GHOST?!
YOU'RE GONNA
GET ME A PICTURE
OF OLD HEADLESS HERE, OK?
WELL,
IT'S LIKE THIS...
PORTRAITS ARE
MY SPECIALTY.
YOU KNOW, HEADSHOTS?
AND THIS GUY,
WELL...
[CHUCKLES]
DO IT.
MAYBE I SHOULD
START SMALL.
A GUY WITH NO...HAT.
DO IT.
WHY NOT SEND YOUR
BEST PHOTOGRAPHER?
I SENT OUT OUR BEST GUY,
AND OUR SECOND BEST,
AND THIRD BEST!
THEY ALL VANISHED
WITHOUT A TRACE!
I HOPE THIS
ISN'T A TREND.
YOU'LL REPORT TO
OUR CITY EDITOR,
BROM BONES.
AND YOU'D BETTER
LISTEN TO HIM.
NOT ONLY DID HE BREAK
THE HORSEMAN STORY,
BUT HE'S PROBABLY
GOING TO MARRY MY KATRINA.
BONES, GET IN HERE!
MARRY KATRINA?
YEAH!
YOU WANNA
MAKE SOMETHING
OUT OF IT?
BONES,
THIS IS ICHABOD CRANE.UHH!
HE'S TAKING PICTURES
FOR THE HORSEMAN STORY.
I'M LOOKING
FORWARD
TO WORKING
THIS GUY OVER.
I MEAN,
WORKING OVER
THIS GUY.
I WONDER IF
THIS JOB COMES WITH
MEDICAL BENEFITS.
YOU BET, SIR!
I'LL FIND THAT GHOST
IF IT'S THE LAST THING I DO!
FIRST THING I'LL DO
IS HOP THE NEXT TRAIN HOME.
ICHABOD...
THE BOSS'S DAUGHTER!
S-SOMETHING I CAN
DO FOR YOU?
AAH!
HOW ABOUT
A DATE TONIGHT?
WELL, UH,
THE TRUTH IS I-I DON'T--
I-I SHOULDN'T
COME ANYWHERE...
NEAR YOU.
DON'T YOU LIKE ME?
I'M WISE. YOU'RE
ENGAGED TO THAT BIG APE.
YOU'RE THE GORILLA
HIS DREAMS.
OH, ICHY!
ICHY?
DADDY'S BEEN
TRYING TO GET ME
TO MARRY BROM BONES
FOR YEARS,
BUT I LIKE YOU.
NOTHING DOING, SISTER!
HE FINDS OUT
I'M DATING YOU,
AND IT'LL BE
MONKEY SEE, MONKEY HIT.
BESIDES THAT,
HE'S GONNA BE AN IN-LAW
TO THAT OUTLAW IN THERE.
BUT I WAS
THINKING OF YOU.
ME?
AND ME.
YOU?
TOGETHER.
NOT SEPARATE.
DANCING THE NIGHT AWAY.
2 DANCING FOOLS.
BIG FOOLS.
GREAT BIG FOOLS.
SO I'LL SEE YOU TONIGHT.
8:00.
AT THE NOSELAND BALLROOM.
NOSE O'CLOCK.
8 LAND BALLROOM.
MAKE IT 7:55.
[WHISTLING]
WHOA-WHOA.
[WHISTLING]
GRR!
[WHISTLING]
M-M-MR. CRANE,
I'M SUP-P-POSED
TO SHOW YOU YOUR NEW OFFICE.
NEW OFFICE?
POINT THE WAY, HENDRICK.
H-H-HOW DID
IT G-G-GO
BACK THERE,
M-MR. CRANE?
PIECE OF CAKE.
EASY AS PIE.
SWEET AS SUGAR.
SMOOTH AS PUDDING.
Y-YOU WANNA GET SOME LUNCH?
I DON'T USE FOOD.
I LIVE ON LOVE.
Y-Y-YOU DON'T MEAN
MISS VAN T-T-TASSEL!
IS THAT EASY TO TELL?
B-B-BUT WHAT
ABOUT BROM BONES?
DON'T WORRY.
IF PUSH COMES TO SHOVE,
I'LL HANDLE TALL,
DARK, AND SIMIAN.
O-OH, NO!
YOU WERE MY FAVORITE
ONE SO FAR, TOO.
YOU'VE GOTTA LEARN
TO RELAX, HENDRICK.
LOOK AT ME.
I'VE GOT A DATE
WITH AN ANGEL,
AN ASSIGNMENT
WITH A GHOST,
AND AN OFFICE
WITH A VIEW.
LIFE IS PERFECT.
WHY IS THERE SO MUCH
TILE IN MY OFFICE?
MEN?!
WHO PUT MY DESK
IN THE BATHROOM?
M-M-MR. VAN TASSEL,
SIR.
'SCUSE ME.AAH!
UHH!
UHH!
CRANE!
I'VE GOT ONE THING
TO SAY TO YOU...
IF I EVER SEE YOU SO MUCH
AS LOOKAT MISS VAN TASSEL...
[GROWLS]
UHH!
EVERY DAY ON YOUR CALENDAR
WILL BE FRIDAY THE 13th.
WHAT WAS I SAYING
A MINUTE AGO, HENDRICK?
LIFE IS
PERFECT, SIR.
SHUT UP.
WHY AM I GOING ON A DATE
WITH KATRINA VAN TASSEL?
BROM BONES WILL TAKE ME
APART IF HE FINDS OUT.
BUT WHAT CAN I DO?
I'M IN LOVE.
I'VE GOT THE JITTERBUG.
AAH!
WAIT A MINUTE.
IF BROM BONES
SEES ME WITH KATRINA,
HE'LL HAVE MY HEAD.
NO!
WHOO!
SO WHAT IF I LOSE MY HEAD?
I'LL STILL BE NECK
OVER HEELS IN LOVE
WITH KATRINA.
I CAN FEEL IT.
MY LUCK'S
BEGINNING TO CHANGE.
FROM HERE ON IN,
IT'S ALL 4 LEAF CLOVERS.
ALL THE SIGNS ARE POSITIVE.
[MARCHING FOOTSTEPS]
[HOOVES CLACKING]
[HOOVES CLACKING]
[HOOVES CLACKING]
[HOOVES CLACKING]
[WHINNIES]
IF THAT GUY DOESN'T YELL
"HI-HO-SILVER" IN 5 SECONDS,
I'M RUNNING.
[GALLOPING HOOF BEATS]
AAH!
[GHOULISH LAUGHTER]
HO HO HA HA HA HA!
[TRAIN SIREN BLARES]
UHH!
JUST PASSING THROUGH, FOLKS.
[PANTING]
UH, I MUST'VE LOST HIM.
ONLY A GENIUS COULD'VE
FOLLOWED ME HERE.
[HORSE WHINNIES]
HUH?!
AAH!
THIS GUY'S GOT SOME
HEAD ON HIS SHOULDERS.
[GASPS]
NOW I KNOW WHY
THEY CALL IT A DEAD END!
[GHOULISH LAUGHTER]
LISTEN, I KNOW JUST WHAT
YOU'VE GONE THROUGH.
YOU SAY TO THE BARBER,
"A LITTLE
OFF THE TOP," AND--
ICHABOD CRANE,
HEAR ME.
LEAVE SLEEPY HOLLOW
AND NEVER COME BACK!
WHEN TOMORROW'S
FULL MOON RISES HIGH,
YE MUST BE GONE,
OR YE SHALL DIE.
I'M GONNA GET
HIS HEAD HANDED TO ME.
[GHOULISH LAUGHTER]
WELL, WHAT
A WONDERFUL FIRST DAY
IN THE BIG CITY.
UHH!
WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?
I'M SAYING YOU BETTER
FIND YOURSELF ANOTHER
HEADLESS HUNTER.
I'M PACKING IT IN,
MOVING IT OUT,
HEADING BACK HOME WHERE
THERE AREN'T ANY GHOSTS.
YOU CAN'T WALK OUT
ON BAULTUS VAN TASSEL!
WHY, IF I WEREN'T
THE PUBLISHER, I'D--I'D--
DO THIS?
HEY!
YEAH. THEN I'D--I'D--
DO THIS?[GULP]
YEAH. THEN I'D--I'D--
DO THIS!
NO. I WOULDN'T
GO THAT FAR.
YOU STOOD ME UP
LAST NIGHT!
WHOA!
THE HEADLESS HORSEMAN HAD
OTHER PLANS FOR MY EVENING.
DON'T TELL ME YOU'RE
SEEING GHOSTS.
ONLY WHEN I'M NOT
RUNNING AWAY FROM THEM.
THE ONLY THING
THAT'S RUNNING AWAY
IS YOUR IMAGINATION.
THE HORSEMAN VERY NICELY
SUGGESTED THAT I LEAVE TOWN
BY THE TIME
THE FULL MOON RISES TONIGHT,
OR I'LL DIE.
SO I'LL JUST
BE TODDLING ALONG.
[WINDING SQUEAL]
I REMEMBER THE DOOR
BEING CLOSER.
OH, ICHY-POO,
YOU CAN'T GO AWAY.
DON'T YOU KNOW
I LOVE YOU, YOU LUG?
YOU LOVE ME? ME LUG?
I LOVE YOU, TOO, KATRINA.
STAY IN
SLEEPY HOLLOW
JUST FOR ONE
MORE NIGHT.
IF YOU DO THAT,
YOU'LL KNOW
THERE'S NOTHING
TO BE SCARED OF!
ICHABOD,
DO IT FOR ME.
FOR US.
WELL, I WOULDN'T
WANT TO LET US DOWN.
YOU CAN COME TO
THE BIG HALLOWEEN PARTY
AT THE MANSION TONIGHT.
BUT WON'T
BROM BONES BE THERE?
YES, BUT HE'S REALLY
A HONEY-BUNNY.
A BIG, BRAINLESS,
OBNOXIOUS HONEY-BUNNY,
BUT AFTER ALL,
ARE YOU A MAN
OR A MOUSE?
I'M A MAN!
A MAN, I SAY!
A MAN!
IT'S GOOD TO BE A MAN!
ANYBODY HAVE ANY CHEESE?
[SWING MUSIC PLAYING]
I'M SO GLAD
YOU CAME!
AAH!
WELL, I REALLY
SHOULD BE GOING.
BUT THE PARTY'S
JUST STARTING!
ALL THESE PARTIES
ARE THE SAME.
YOU TALK, YOU EAT,
THE MOON RISES,
AND A GHOST KILLS YOU.
WHA--
UH-OH.
CRANE,
GET YOUR HANDS
OFF OF HER!
NO PROBLEM!
I'M GOING TO MURDERIZE YOU!
WHOA!
[SWING MUSIC PLAYING]
MAN OR MOUSE,
MAN OR MOUSE?
AAH![GHOULISH LAUGHTER]
I'M A MOUSE.
I'M A MOUSE.
I'M A MOUSE.
AAH!
AAH!
AAH!
OOF!
HEY!
UHH!
[GHOULISH LAUGHTER]
I GUESS I'M A MAN.
[GHOULISH LAUGHTER]
SO HE'S PLAYING A LITTLE
GAME OF CAT AND MOUSE.
I MEAN, CAT AND MAN.
HO HO HA HA HA HA!
HO HO HA HA HA HA!
HO HO HA HA HA HA!
HO HO HA HA HA HA!
HO HO HA HA HA HA HA!
HO HO HA HA HA!
HO HO HA HA HA!
HEY!
HMM.
I GOTTA TAKE
A HEADLESS COUNT.
[CROWD MURMURING]
WOW, LOOK AT THAT!
HUH?
WHAT GIVES AROUND HERE?
[ALL GASP]
BROM BONES!
WHY'D YOU DO IT?
I WANTED TO SCARE YOU
AWAY FROM KATRINA.
BESIDES, THE STORY'S
MADE ME A BIG MAN
WITH THE BOSS.
OF ALL THE DISHONEST,
UNETHICAL--
BONES! YOU'RE FIRED!
I POSED AS
THE HEADLESS HORSEMAN
TO BOOST CIRCULATION
OF MY PAPER!
OK, JUNIOR. UNWRAP.
I-I WANTED TO HELP YOU
GET A P-P-PICTURE
OF THE HEADLESS HORSEMAN.
I-I ONLY D-DID IT
'CAUSE I LIKE YOU,
AND NOT FOR MONETARY GAIN.
All: AW!
I-I GUESS THIS
MEANS I'M FIRED,
HUH, MR. VAN T-T-TASSEL?
YES, IT DOES,
HENDRICK.
WELL, THAT SETTLES THAT.
UH, ACTUALLY, SIR,
IPOSED AS
THE HEADLESS HORSEMAN,
TO GET SOME NATIONAL
PUBLICITY FOR SLEEPY HOLLOW.
I'M TREASURER OF...
THE "LET'S DRESS UP LIKE
THE HEADLESS HORSEMAN"
SOCIETY.
I DO IT BECAUSE IT MAKES ME
FEEL GOOD ABOUT MYSELF.
ALL RIGHT, THAT'S IT.
I'VE HAD IT
WITH THE BIG CITY.
FROM NOW ON, IT'S JUST ME,
THE WOMAN I LOVE,
AND A POLICE HORSE.
OH, ICHY!
AND I PROMISE,
NO MORE SUPERSTITIONS.
NO MORE GHOSTS.
NO MORE RUNNING AWAY.
[CHEERING]
ALL RIGHT, FRIEND.
HALLOWEEN'S OVER!
[GHOULISH LAUGHTER]
[GHOULISH LAUGHTER]
ICHY, UH, REMEMBER
WHAT YOU SAID
ABOUT NO MORE
SUPERSTITIONS
OR GHOSTS
OR RUNNING AWAY?
YES?
FORGET IT!
AAH!
AAH!
[GHOULISH LAUGHTER]
ICHABOD,
WHERE IS YOUR LITTLE
HOMETOWN ANYWAY?
BROOKLYN!
[GHOULISH LAUGHING]
[HORSE WHINNIES]
[GHOULISH LAUGHTER]
WELL, I SEE BY
THE OLD CLOCK ON THE WALL,
THAT IT'S TIME
FOR THE OLD ALFER
TO FISH ANOTHER LETTER
OUT OF THE OLD MAILBAG.
OH!
HERE'S ONE.
"DEAR ALF,
"I FEEL MY BEST YEARS
ARE BEHIND ME.
"SURE I'M DOING
FINE IN THIRD GRADE,
"BUT I ALWAYS THINK BACK
"TO MY GLORY DAYS
IN KINDERGARTEN.
"I WAS YOUNG, I WAS STRONG,
"I WAS CAREFREE.
"WHAT COULD I DO
TO RECAPTURE THE ZEST
"OF THAT ERSTWHILE ERA?
"SIGNED,
ANTIQUATED IN ANAHEIM."
DEAR "A" AND "A",
STOP WHINING!
YOU CAN'T LIVE IN THE PAST.
THINK OF THE FUTURE.
NEXT TUESDAY, FOR EXAMPLE.
IF YOU WANT
TO RELIVE THE OLD DAYS,
ORGANIZE A REUNION
OF YOUR OLD CLASSMATES.
THE WAY THEY'VE
GOTTEN FAT AND BALD
WILL CHEER YOU UP, NO END.
WELL, THAT'S IT
FOR ALF'S MAILBAG.
SEE YOU NEXT TIME.
♪ GORDON, SEND US
♪ OH, SEND US
♪ INTO OUTER SPACE
♪ OUTER SPACE
♪ 'CAUSE THERE AIN'T
NOBODY LIKE YOU ♪
♪ IN THE MELMACKIAN RACE
♪ TEACH US, GORDON...
HA! I KILL ME!