ALF (1986–1990): Season 3, Episode 15 - Suspicious Minds - full transcript

ALF has started to believe in one of the biggest urban legends - that Elvis is alive. When Raquel describes their new neighbor, ALF is convinced the man is Elvis. Since nobody believes ALF, he decides to venture into the man's house.

Hey, hey, did you know that
if you looked really carefully

you could see Elvis in one
of the crowd scenes in Gandhi?

Do you believe
everything you read?

Yeah...except for stuff
marked unbreakable.

Where'd you get that book

I joined the legend
of the month club.

Next month,
they're doing Steve Allen.

Sorry, I asked.

ALF, Elvis Presley died
more than ten years ago.

Oh, yeah?

Then how do you explain

this shocking photograph

of Elvis standing in line
for Pirates Of The Caribbean?

- I was on that ride.
- Then we have an eyewitness.

ALF, if Elvis were alive, do you
think he'd be out in public

where people could take shocking
photographs of him?

Well, here's something
that should convince even you

doubting Tanner.

A picture of Elvis
at a swap meet.

What's he buying?

A hubcap?

That's a belt buckle.

[theme music]

[music continues]

[instrumental music]





- What is he doing?
- 'Oh.'

- 'Oh.'
- Facial exercises.


This one tightens up
a double chin.



This one prevents sagging ears.





What's that one?

That one means Raquel's
coming up the back walk.

Hi-ho, Silver! Away!


- Hello, Willie.
- Oh, hi, Raquel. Come on in.

I brought your magazine back.

Oh, thanks, Raquel.

How'd you like
Sylvester Stallone's

pot roast recipe?

It was a real disappointment.

I had to pound on that beef
for two hours

and Trevor still said
it was tough.

First "Rambo III," now this.

Let's face it,
Sly's in a slump.

Oh, point of interest.

Have you met the man
who has rented

the Phennamen's old house?

Oh, somebody rented
the Phennamen's old house?

Well, wake up and wipe the crud
from your eyes, Willie.

The man has been here
six whole days.

- What's he like, Raquel?
- His name is Aaron King.

Let's see,
he's in his early 50s.

He has a Southern accent
and he sings in the shower.

Other than that,
I know nothing.

Well, we all have
our little secrets.

Oh, really?

Like what?


I sing in the shower too.

Why do you think
the Phennamen's moved out?

Well, ta.

We've found him.
We've found Elvis.

Oh, good. I was getting tired
of looking for him.

I'm serious, Willie.
The king lives two doors down.

ALF, you don't really
believe that.

Willie, I thought
Paul McCartney was dead.

I thought Bobby Ewing was dead,
and I thought Chrysler was dead.

I won't be fooled again.

Oh, come on.

Well, look, Raquel said
this guy's in his 50s

he has a Southern accent,
and he likes to sing.

Who else could it be?

Willie Nelson,
Jerry Lee Lewis

Huckleberry Hound.

No, no, no.

Those guys would never live
next to the Ochmonek's.

ALF, this book does not have
one shred of evidence

that would convince
any rational thinking.



- Oh!
- I give up.

Wait, wait, wait. I can be
logical if I have to.

The man's name is Aaron King.

Elvis' middle name was Aaron

and he was king
of rock and roll.

I am not convinced.

Okay. How about this?

Hank Aaron is baseball's
home run king

and Elvis loved baseball.

ALF, you're grasping at straws.

Okay. Listen to this.

Aaron Burr wanted
to be king of America

and he was from the South,
just like Elvis.

Well.. least I got his watch.

[instrumental music]

[Willie screaming]

Dad, what happened?

I slipped on a banana peel.

I don't know why people
find that so amusing.

Let me help you.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I was just thinking
of a joke I heard

on a different world.

No, really, there was one.


Three loaves of bread.

At least he's cutting down.

How did he get peanut butter
on the smoke detector?

I'll clean this up.

I'll go have a word
with hurricane Skippy.

ALF, there are peanut butter
handprints all over the kitchen.

Each of them has four fingers.

Your comment?

I have no recollection
of that event.

Look, Willie, I've been thinking
about this Aaron King thing.

And you're right.

I can't go around saying
he's Elvis without proof.

- Good.
- So I got proof.

Listen to this.

(man on tape)
'Huh? It's the middle
of the night, man.'

'Who is this?'

That doesn't sound anything
like Elvis Presley.

But wait till
I play it backwards.


- See?
- See what?

That's exactly what
Elvis sounded like backwards.. his later years.

And when did you call Mr. King

to get this
overwhelming evidence?

- 3:00 a.m.
- You woke him up?

Exhibit number two

fresh from Aaron King's
trash can.

Elvis' blue suede shoes.

Those are red corduroy slippers.

He changed the color and fabric
to protect himself

from garbage-scavenging fans.

- Like you?
- Exactly.

Exhibit number three..

...Elvis' lyrics.

Listen to this hidden message.

"Since my baby left me,
I found a new place to dwell."

That's "Down At The End
Of Lonely Street"

not next door to the Ochmonek's.

Okay. But here's the clincher.

If you re-arrange the letters
in Elvis Aaron Presley

they spell..

...Presley Lives Nora.

Now, all we have to do
is find this Nora chick.

You've convinced me, ALF.

We are living two doors down

the street from Elvis Presley

and Raquel is Janis Joplin
and Trevor is Buddy Holly.

That'll be the day.

Look, Willie,
just wait till he gets here.

Then you'll find out for sure.

Wait till who gets here?

Oh, uh, did I forget to mention

when I called Mr. King, I said
we had a fruit basket for him?


And, uh,
did I also forget to mention

he'll be here
any minute to pick it up?


I'm so forgetful.

I should've tied a string
around my finger.

Oh, I did.

Gee, forgot all about that.

What am I supposed to do
when Mr. King

asks for his fruit basket?

No problem.

I ordered one over the phone.

Dad, we have a visitor.

Send him in.

Now, look, Willie,
when this guy gets here

monitor him
for Elvis-like behavior.

What would you have me do?

See if these make him salivate.

What are they?

These are deep-fried
peanut butter

and banana sandwiches.

Elvis loved them.
He could eat 20 a day.

And you think he's still alive?


- Dad, this is Mr. King.
- Morning.

Morning, I'm-I'm Willie Tanner.

Uh, Mr. King says we have
a basket of fruit for him.

Yes, it's something we do
for all our new neighbors now.

You call them at 3:00 a.m. too?

I'm terribly sorry. I..

I guess I'm still
on daylight savings time.

From Melbourne.

Please, take these.

- Welcome to the neighborhood.
- That's mighty nice of you.

Well, somebody took a bite
out of this apple.

Pesky Mediterranean fruit flies,
bigger every year.

We can get you another
basket of fruit.

Oh, no, that's alright.

But these wouldn't
happen to be peanut butter

and banana sandwiches,
would they?

Uh, yes, yes. Yes, they are.
Help-help yourself.

Well, if you don't want 'em.

Believe me,
I don't want them.

Thank you.
Thank you very much.

I used to have a pair
of slippers like these.

Threw mine away though.

See you.

Uh, yeah. Nice to meet you.

Bye bye.

Elvis has left the building!

- That was not Elvis Presley.
- Are you kidding?

He was on that sandwich
like red beans on rice.

ALF, he didn't seem like
Elvis to me either.

Elvis was a brilliant actor.

He could play anything
from a singing race car driver

to a singing deep sea diver.

Even if this man were
Elvis Presley

and I assure you he's not,
he'd never admit it.

I bet I can get it out of him.

Leave the man alone!

Leave him alone!

So what are you saying,
leave the man alone?

I won't rest till I prove
this man is Elvis Presley.


But first,
I think I'll take a nap.

[instrumental music]

[music continues]

Either he's Elvis, or Priscilla
had a heck of a lawn sale.

[instrumental music]

[keys jingling]

[glass shattering]

What the heck are you?

I ain't nothin'
but a hound dog.

Hound dogs don't talk.

Neither do dead singers.

Say what?

You're Elvis Presley.

I knew it! I knew it!

I'm not Elvis Presley.

Right and I'm not an alien.

Wait a minute.
I remember you.

You're that talkin' monkey
I saw in Vegas.

Vegas? You've been to Vegas?
That proves it!

- Proves what?
- That you're Elvis.

Wait a minute.
Let's get back to who you are.

Or what you are.

Hey, I'll have you know
that I'm a superior being

from the Planet Melmac.

There's no Planet Melmac.

Well, not anymore.

That's why I'm here.

Can I pet you?

Only above the waist.


Are you trying to tell me
you're from outer space?

Yeah, yeah,
but now I live down the block.

My friends call me ALF.

Boy, "The Enquirer" would sure
love a photo of this.

Elvis Meets Creature
From Space.

But don't let all this stuff
fool you. I'm not Elvis.

I'm just a collector.

I understand.

Hey, we're both
in the same boat.

We're fugitives from fame.

You, me and Debbie Allen.

I can't be Elvis. I'm alive.
He's dead.

Hey, look, I didn't expect you
to admit that you're alive.

Come on, be reasonable.

Why would somebody like Elvis
wanna pretend he was dead?

I figure you want to be an
average Joe in an average town

with an average fleet
of pink Cadillac's.

But your fans wouldn't let you.

So you booked that big gig
into rock and roll heaven.

What do you aliens do all day?
Look for dead celebrities?

I'm so tired of that stereotype.

Aliens have many interests.

We sit around the house.
We eat. We watch TV.

You sound more like Elvis
than I do.

Hey, hey, why don't you
ring up Ann-Margret

and get her over here?

Oh, sure, I'll just hop over
to Graceland

and pick up my Rolodex.

[knock on door]
Whoever that is

don't tell 'em I'm here.

Uh, unless it's somebody
who knows me.

But you'd have no way
of knowing that

unless we work out a code.

How about I just
don't let 'em in?

Good thinking.

- Howdy, ma'am.
- Hello.

Uh, we haven't officially met.

I'm Raquel Ochmonek.
I live next door.

Oh, right. I didn't recognize
without the binoculars.

I, uh, brought you
some pot roast.

It's Sylvester Stallone's

That's mighty neighborly of you.

If you'd like, I could,
uh, heat it up for you.

It'd only take a minute.

Oh, don't trouble yourself,

- I've already had my dinner.
- I know.

So, uh, why don't you
just let me

put it in the freezer for you?

Well, to tell you the truth,
ma'am, I'm..

You caught me in kind
of a compromising position.

What do you mean?

Well, I'm not exactly alone.
If you get my drift.


I didn't observe any second
parties entering the premises.

So you won't think I'm rude
if I don't invite you in?

Oh, of course not.

Just keep playing
those Elvis records.

- No girl can resist that voice.
- I know.

that Raquel is one nosy gal.

I can't even sneeze without her
handing me a Kleenex.

That proves it!

Elvis couldn't sneeze without

somebody handing him a Kleenex.

ALF, I've had it
with this Elvis thing.

Look, I'll prove it to you.

[guitar music]

♪ Well since my baby left me ♪

♪ I found a new place to dwell ♪

♪ It's down at the end
of lonely street ♪

♪ It's heartbreak hotel.. ♪♪

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

No wonder your baby left you if
you've been singing like that.


Now, are you convinced
I'm not Elvis?

You just need
a little more practice.

You've been dead for a while.

Look, I wish I was Elvis, buddy

but I'm just a truck driver
from Tupelo.

And that's as close as I'll ever
get to being the king.

In fact..

...Aaron King
isn't even my real name.

I changed it
from Clarence Williams III.

A truck driver? Right.

Clarence? Come on.

They could put bamboo shoots
under my toenails

and I'll still say you're
Clarence, the truck driver.

But in my heart,
I'll always know you are Elvis.

[instrumental music]
You are Elvis.

You are Elvis.


Oh. Oh.




Where's the king?

We don't have a king.
This is America.

I mean Elvis.
I was just talking to him.

You were sleeping.

Oh, you mean, I was just
dreaming that Elvis was alive?

No, he was alive, but that
was before he was dead.

Don't mess with a groggy alien.

Come on, ALF,
mom's got lunch ready.

Great. A hunk of burnin' food.

[instrumental music]

[instrumental music]

But you know what he said
that convinced me

even more than ever
that he's Elvis?


He said, "I'm not Elvis."

Who else,
but Elvis would say that?

Almost anyone.

I can't wait any longer, Kate.

I've got to go over there
and get conclusive proof.


...let's assume for a moment
and just a moment..

that Aaron King
is Elvis Presley.

What do you think
he'd want you to do?

He'd want me to track him down,
hound him and force him

to hang out with me.

Guess again.

He'd want me
to leave him alone.

That's right.

- Give him his privacy.
- That's right!

And order the complete set
of Elvis memorial shoe trees.

That's wrong.

'Yoo-hoo! Kate!'

- Bye.
- Bye.

[knock on door]
Hi, Raquel. Come on in.

Kate, you'll never guess
what happened.

Aaron King moved out
in the middle of the night.

- Oh, isn't that strange?
- That's not all that's strange.

I don't think that man
was who he claimed to be.

Oh, not you too.

- What?
- I mean, what?

Well, he always kept
the blinds drawn.

He always wore sunglasses
when it wasn't even sunny

and I saw him loading two
or three guitars into his car.

I know what you're thinking

and he's been dead a long time.

I thought that too at first.

But you mark my words, Kate

that man who lived next door
to us was Buddy Holly.

Boy, is she gullible.

Everybody knows
that Buddy Holly

runs a bait and tackle shop
in Phoenix.

[instrumental music]

[theme music]

[ALF laughing]