9JKL (2017–2018): Season 1, Episode 14 - Fridays with Harry - full transcript
Harry now has Fridays off and wants to spend them with Josh. Andrew tries to get Judy to see a doctor.
- Hey, Judy. Have you ever noticed...
- Hmm?
...that my plate is different
from the others?
Uh, that's because
the original four came together.
You know, a complete set.
Mom, I just ran into your internist,
Dr. Thomas, on the street.
Oh. I just had an appointment
with him last week.
He said he retired five years ago.
- Well, now I've been caught in a lie.
- Hmm.
Wait a minute. You haven't been
to the doctor in five years?
I don't like doctors.
I am a doctor.
Well, for you, I try
to make an exception.
Okay. I am going to pull
some strings and get you
an appointment with the
best internist in the city.
Fine. I'll go.
Great. And because I know you
have no intention of going,
I will be taking you.
Okay.
Kids, I have an exciting announcement.
After working full-time for 40 years,
I've finally decided to
scale back at the office.
That's right. From now on,
your father has Fridays free.
All right, Dad.
- Good for you.
- Good for you, Harry.
That's so great, Dad.
You and Mom can go see matinees,
have long lunches,
take walks in the park.
Oh, no, no, no.
We learned a long time ago
that our relationship works best
when Mommy gets a little
time away from me.
Keeps things fresh.
Kept things very fresh this morning.
- Ugh, God.
- Why?
Oh, careful, Eve. You don't want
to break your special plate.
So, Dad, tomorrow's
your first free Friday.
What are you gonna do with it?
Well, I thought I'd spend it
with you, if you're free.
Is Josh free?
Oh, I'm sorry. I thought...
I thought you were making a joke, Dad.
Hey, hey, hey. Just 'cause I'm an actor
with a flexible schedule,
doesn't mean I'm free.
- Are you?
- Yes.
♪ La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la ♪
♪ Come on, won't you take me home? ♪
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com
Okay, Mom. I pulled some strings.
I got you an appointment
10:00 Monday morning
with the top internist
in the city, Dr. David Starnes.
I don't like him.
You don't know him.
I don't like doctors.
I am still a doctor.
And like him or not,
you haven't had a physical
in five years; we're going.
What a first day off.
I haven't been to
Coney Island in forever.
Who knew we could ride the
Cyclone that many times?
Who knew we'd want to?
Harry, that thing is not staying here.
Oh, I'm gonna give it to Wyatt.
Oh, good. We'll give it to him together,
that way he'll think
it's from both of us.
Thanks again for today, Joshie.
It was the best.
Aw.
It was the worst.
- All right.
- We were supposed to have
a quick lunch at the diner downstairs.
Six hours later, we've
been to all five boroughs.
You know what doesn't
go over well in the Bronx?
Two grown men walking around
with a giant stuffed bear.
Well, at least it's over.
Oh, it's not over; it's just beginning,
because Dad wants to
hang out every Friday.
Yeah. He called us "Friday Buddies."
- I mean, I have a life.
- Ha. Good one.
Look, just be honest.
Tell him you don't want to hang out.
I can't. I don't want
to hurt his feelings.
I just have to find something
for him to do every Friday,
like a hobby or a 6,000-piece puzzle.
Well, I'd tell him the truth.
He can take it; he's a big boy.
I couldn't give him up.
Oh, Andrew, thank God.
I am so sorry, David.
I got word in the waiting room
my mother's not being
a very good patient.
She won't let me take her blood.
And she hissed at me.
I don't care for your tone
or your cold hands.
You know what? I'm gonna
give you two a minute.
I'm gonna go call my
mother and thank her
for living in Arizona.
What? Don't look at me like that.
I'm not comfortable with
a complete stranger
sticking a needle in me.
Okay. Would it make you feel better
if your son drew your blood?
Which son?
I was thinking the one
that went to medical school.
Ugh. God.
When did you become so scared
of a little blood draw?
It's not that.
What is it?
It's Suzanne Baker.
Who is Suzanne Baker?
Suzanne Baker was...
the picture of health.
Then she went in for a routine checkup
and six months later, kaput.
Okay. Well, I'm sorry
about your friend, but...
No. She wasn't my friend,
she was a miserable drunk
who once hit on your father, but...
she was a cautionary tale.
You know, you get to
a certain age and...
Look, if something really is wrong,
I don't want to know, okay?
Mom, if something is wrong,
we need to know.
- You think something's wrong?!
- No.
No, I don't.
Look, Mom,
when I was little
and scared of getting a shot,
you told me your love is so big,
it would protect me from all my fears.
I was a wonderful mother.
Well, now it's my turn.
Mom.
My love is so big, it will protect you
from all your fears.
Oh, Andrew.
That's not gonna cut it.
What else ya got?
I'll tell you what I got...
your blood.
Wait a minute. Did you just
emotionally manipulate me
to get what you want?
Sure did.
That's my son.
Hey, next Friday, I thought
we could go ice-skating,
and then we could
- kill some time and then...
- Actually, Dad,
I think you should use
your Fridays to explore
any interests you may not have
had time for in the past.
Well, we could take a pottery
or a cooking class,
and then we could make the pots
that we put the food in.
Yeah. Yeah, sure, but
I was thinking more
of an individual passion, you know?
What's something that
you've always wanted to do?
Nothing comes to mind.
Okay, well, let's think about it.
I mean, you could find your passion
in the most unexpected ways.
Like, for me, you remember
in high school,
I needed an elective
and everything was full
except drama, and then, bam,
I discovered I loved acting.
- Okay, I'll do that.
- Do what?
Be an actor. Sounds fun.
Oh, no, no, no. That was just
a personal example from my life.
Well, I'm in.
Everyone says that you get
your acting talent from me.
You're the apple and I'm the tree.
Okay, sure.
I mean, acting is something
you can do on Fridays.
How does it work?
I mean, should you set up
a meeting with your agent?
How about you start
with an acting class?
Great idea.
Fasten your seat belts,
because Harry Roberts
is landing in a theater near you.
Acting and stewarding.
I just combined two of my passions.
All right. Great.
Hey, Mom.
I brought you some ice cream
and your favorite cookies.
Why? Did my test results
come back? What's wrong?
Can't a son come home
in the middle of the day
for dessert with his mother?
Not unless he's my other son
who has less to do.
All right.
Get it over with. Tell me.
Everything is fine.
Oh, thank God.
But there was one blood test
that came back slightly elevated.
Okay. There it is. It's happening.
It's just your potassium levels.
They're slightly high,
which could have been caused
by any number of reasons,
including how the blood was drawn.
Oh, see? I knew that doctor
was an idiot.
I was that doctor.
Oh.
Anyway, we just need to draw
some more blood so they can retest it.
I'll do it tonight
when I get back from work.
- Sure, if I'm still around.
- Mom.
Relax. And whatever
you do, for God sakes,
do not go on the Internet
and start self-diagnosing.
Oh, what are you, crazy?
I don't even know how
to use the Internet.
Oh, my damn, Mrs. Roberts.
It could be any one of these things.
Oh, my God. My days are numbered!
Hey, hey, hey.
Don't you give up on me,
okay? We can beat this.
How?
Mexico.
Yeah, they do all sorts
of cutting-edge stuff.
My grandpa got LASIK there way
before they even knew it worked.
Yeah? How did it turn out?
Real wonky. I'm scared, Mrs. Roberts.
All right, Dad. Here we go.
I don't know, Josh.
Maybe this wasn't a good idea.
Everybody looks so
sophisticated and funky.
- Dad, you're just a little nervous.
- I'm not nervous.
Then why are you holding my hand?
I didn't know I was doing that.
Look, it's gonna be okay.
First days can be hard.
That's true.
I remember your first day
in kindergarten.
You were crying and you
wouldn't let go of Mommy.
Actually, Mom was crying
and wouldn't let go of me.
Come on. Let's introduce
ourselves to the teacher.
- Hello, there.
- Hey.
Hello. I'm Harold Roberts,
and it's a pleasure to meet you.
Harold Roberts. Look at you
with your bow tie and handshake,
so wonderfully formal.
But here in our studio,
we are much more open.
We hug.
Oh, this is nice.
Very different from law school.
You're right. This is
very different from law school.
It's time to set you free,
Harold Roberts. Ha!
Dad, are you okay?
I'm more than okay, Joshie.
I've been set free.
Hey, Judy. I think I left
the baby monitor... there it is.
Eve, you're a doctor, right?
We both know that I am.
I'm trying to find out something
for a friend
who needs medical advice.
Is it a big deal if
you have hyperkalemia?
It can be. I mean, your friend
might have diabetes,
heart problems, kidney failure.
Ah.
And I suppose it gives you
great pleasure
to tell me that I'm dying?
You? You just said it was for a friend.
Oh, come on.
When someone asks something
on behalf of a friend,
the friend is always the person.
High potassium readings can happen
for many different reasons.
- I'm sure you're fine.
- I have too much to live for.
The best husband, two wonderful sons,
a beautiful grandson.
Those four matching plates.
Yes.
And the thing that's
right in front of me.
- Really?
- This perfect apartment.
The reviews are in, Joshie.
Harry Roberts is a star!
So acting class was a success?
The teacher said that I had...
and I quote... "raw talent."
Does this mean that
you're going back next Friday?
Absolutely. I've already been
assigned my first character,
Frank Tumbleweed.
He's a traveling salesman
with a dark past.
Well, pass the popcorn,
'cause I'm watching.
We're doing method acting.
Have you ever heard of method acting?
Dad, I'm an actor. Of course
I've heard of method acting.
It's when you're
in the character the whole time.
You eat, breathe and live it.
And-and you don't come out
of it, no matter what.
Who knew acting was such hard work?
I did, on account of me being an actor.
I'm gonna get into my character.
Say good-bye to Harry Roberts.
Good-bye, Harry Roberts!
I'm Frank Tumbleweed,
a widower who moves in with his son.
Okay, here we go.
This will only take a few...
I hit a parked car in 1988
and I didn't leave a note!
What?
I want to make my amends and
go out with a clear conscience.
Mom, you are not...
Oh, and your guinea pig
didn't go live on a farm.
I accidentally drowned it
while giving it a bath.
- You killed Jeffrey?
- I thought he could swim!
Please say you forgive me.
I do not forgive you.
And we are just rechecking
your potassium.
My jewelry is hidden in vases
all around the apartment.
I want it all to go to you.
- Really?
- Yes.
Because you were born in place
of the daughter I always wanted.
Mom, these blood tests
come back wrong all the time.
You know what was wrong?
When I stole my best
friend Tina's boyfriend,
Ira, in college.
Sure, she had bosoms that wouldn't quit,
but I had a pizzazz that
was very rare in those days.
Hey, guys. What's going on?
Mom has to redo a blood test.
- Is everything okay?
- Yes.
No.
Well, Dad wants to move in with me
because he's playing
the role of a widower.
Yeah, I heard. It's a case
of life imitating life.
Dad is moving in with you?
Yeah, he's method acting.
You had a problem and you made it worse.
Listen, my darling sons, please,
grant your mother's last wish.
Don't tell your father I'm dying.
He'll worry so.
You're not dying.
Oh, yes, just like that.
Only let Josh do it... he's the actor.
- How you doing, Dad?
- I miss Mommy.
Great. You should go home
and be with her.
I can't, son. She's been dead for years.
Oh, I get it. You're in character.
Your mother had character.
I wish I hadn't spent
all that time on the road.
But people needed their vacuums.
All right, Frank, time for bed.
I'm not tired.
I wish your mother was here
to make me some warm milk.
Are you talking about Mom
or Mrs. Tumbleweed?
I don't even know anymore.
Hey. Got a minute?
Sure. What's up?
I'm dying. Can I come in?
Okay.
Eve,
I haven't always been
the best mother-in-law.
Whatever comes next,
I will remember this moment.
I want you to have this.
- A matching plate?
- Mm-hmm.
You said it only came in a set of four.
Well, before I knew I was dying,
I lied to you all the time.
It's from Crate and Barrel.
They got a million of 'em.
Thank you, Judy.
- And...
- Yeah?
I want you to know that when I'm gone,
I'm grateful that Andrew
and Wyatt have you
to take care of them.
I think Andrew chose wisely.
Wow.
I-I can't tell you
how much that means to me.
- Also...
- Yeah?
I think we should hug.
Oh.
Okay. Uh...
Should you sit back down or do I stand?
- Well, why don't you stand?
- I'm already up.
Yes. Okay.
- I'm glad we're doing this.
- Me, too.
- I'm comin' in.
- Okay.
I think we built it up too much.
Josh, how's your mom doing, man?
That is one brave lady.
You know she's not really dying, right?
That's the spirit.
Keep hope alive.
My problem is not my mother...
it is my father.
- Oh, you mean Frank Tumbleweed?
- Yeah.
Poor dude. I'm starting to think
he's never gonna get
over losing his wife.
Yeah, well, I couldn't bring
a date home last night
because Frank was
on the phone cold-calling
to get some vacuum leads.
Well, if you don't want him there,
then why don't you just ask
him to move back home?
Because home is a small town
in Ohio with one stoplight,
a drugstore, and a lot of broken dreams.
Gotcha.
And I don't want to hurt his feelings.
Hey, family needs to talk
about their issues, Josh.
Otherwise, you build up resentment.
It's like my Aunt Nita
and my cousin, Monroe.
What happened with them?
They didn't talk about their issues
and they built up resentment.
Are you not listening to me right now?
Hey, Dad.
Can we have a li...
Oh, my God.
Did a very specific
tornado hit my apartment?
I discovered the irony
of being me, Frank Tumbleweed.
I sell vacuums but I'm also a slob.
Okay, can I talk to my dad for a second?
I'm really glad that
you've found your passion.
Well, I wouldn't say that
selling vacuums is my passion.
- Dad. Okay.
- Yes, Frankie Jr.?
Look, I need you to break
character for a minute
so we can have a real conversation.
Oh. Okay.
Okay, I'm gonna be honest.
I'm not loving... you living here.
Why didn't you say something?
I didn't want to hurt your feelings.
Don't be silly. You can
always be honest with me.
- Really?
- Absolutely.
I'll leave right now.
Wow. Dad,
thank you so much.
Oh, and I'm ready for you
to set up that meeting with your agent.
- What?
- I think
I'm ready to discuss the next
phase of my acting career.
Okay, well, um,
- in the spirit of honesty...
- Yes?
The truth is, acting was just
a fun little thing for you to do
'cause I didn't want to have to
hang out with you every Friday.
Well, in that case, I think I'll go.
And, in the spirit of honesty,
I think you should clean up
your apartment.
It's disgusting.
And that's when I realized
that sometimes you need more
than a powerful vacuum
to pick up the pieces of your life.
That was transcendent.
Chills. I have them.
But you got to clean up
the peanut shells.
Okay, everybody, see you next week.
- Can I help?
- What are you doing here?
I came to apologize
for what I said last night.
There's honest and then there's hurtful.
And the thing is, I just watched
your whole performance,
and, honestly, you were great.
- I was?
- From the apple to the tree,
you really were.
I was, wasn't I?
I didn't know where I
ended and Frank began.
You guys were, like, one and the same.
Next week, I'm gonna be
playing Clive Bigglesworth,
a repressed butler who lives to serve
and serves to live.
Does Clive live with his wife?
He does. She's a sturdy woman.
Then I can't wait to meet him.
Hey, maybe I could come watch
Clive in action next Friday?
Will you be free?
That time, I made the joke.
Andrew, look, I've got my own plate.
I'm part of the complete set.
That is great, babe.
Although it's strange to me
how much you want in to this family.
Hello, Tina? This is Judy Roberts.
Tina, remember your old boyfriend Ira?
Oh, he's your husband now?
You might want to
pour yourself a scotch.
She's still making amends?
She has been on the phone all day.
She really thinks she's gonna die.
But she's gonna be okay, right?
I'm very sorry.
My pizzazz got the best of me.
Oh, Tina, I have to go.
My doctor's calling.
- It's Dr. Starnes. What do I do?
- Well, answer it.
I can't. I'm scared. What if it's bad?
It's okay. We'll all do it together.
Yeah, that's right.
Hello...?
Oh, God. I don't know why
I answered like that.
- I'm nervous.
- Hi, Mrs. Roberts.
Your second test came back and...
And what?
Sorry, just taking a bite of sandwich.
Everything's normal.
- Everything's...
- Oh!
- Oh!
- Thank you, Dr. Starnes! I'm normal!
Thank God. I knew it.
- I know.
- Oh.
- That's so wonderful.
- Aw, darling.
My turn.
God, I hope she stays healthy
for a long, long time.
I know, 'cause this is really weird.
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com
- Hmm?
...that my plate is different
from the others?
Uh, that's because
the original four came together.
You know, a complete set.
Mom, I just ran into your internist,
Dr. Thomas, on the street.
Oh. I just had an appointment
with him last week.
He said he retired five years ago.
- Well, now I've been caught in a lie.
- Hmm.
Wait a minute. You haven't been
to the doctor in five years?
I don't like doctors.
I am a doctor.
Well, for you, I try
to make an exception.
Okay. I am going to pull
some strings and get you
an appointment with the
best internist in the city.
Fine. I'll go.
Great. And because I know you
have no intention of going,
I will be taking you.
Okay.
Kids, I have an exciting announcement.
After working full-time for 40 years,
I've finally decided to
scale back at the office.
That's right. From now on,
your father has Fridays free.
All right, Dad.
- Good for you.
- Good for you, Harry.
That's so great, Dad.
You and Mom can go see matinees,
have long lunches,
take walks in the park.
Oh, no, no, no.
We learned a long time ago
that our relationship works best
when Mommy gets a little
time away from me.
Keeps things fresh.
Kept things very fresh this morning.
- Ugh, God.
- Why?
Oh, careful, Eve. You don't want
to break your special plate.
So, Dad, tomorrow's
your first free Friday.
What are you gonna do with it?
Well, I thought I'd spend it
with you, if you're free.
Is Josh free?
Oh, I'm sorry. I thought...
I thought you were making a joke, Dad.
Hey, hey, hey. Just 'cause I'm an actor
with a flexible schedule,
doesn't mean I'm free.
- Are you?
- Yes.
♪ La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la ♪
♪ Come on, won't you take me home? ♪
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com
Okay, Mom. I pulled some strings.
I got you an appointment
10:00 Monday morning
with the top internist
in the city, Dr. David Starnes.
I don't like him.
You don't know him.
I don't like doctors.
I am still a doctor.
And like him or not,
you haven't had a physical
in five years; we're going.
What a first day off.
I haven't been to
Coney Island in forever.
Who knew we could ride the
Cyclone that many times?
Who knew we'd want to?
Harry, that thing is not staying here.
Oh, I'm gonna give it to Wyatt.
Oh, good. We'll give it to him together,
that way he'll think
it's from both of us.
Thanks again for today, Joshie.
It was the best.
Aw.
It was the worst.
- All right.
- We were supposed to have
a quick lunch at the diner downstairs.
Six hours later, we've
been to all five boroughs.
You know what doesn't
go over well in the Bronx?
Two grown men walking around
with a giant stuffed bear.
Well, at least it's over.
Oh, it's not over; it's just beginning,
because Dad wants to
hang out every Friday.
Yeah. He called us "Friday Buddies."
- I mean, I have a life.
- Ha. Good one.
Look, just be honest.
Tell him you don't want to hang out.
I can't. I don't want
to hurt his feelings.
I just have to find something
for him to do every Friday,
like a hobby or a 6,000-piece puzzle.
Well, I'd tell him the truth.
He can take it; he's a big boy.
I couldn't give him up.
Oh, Andrew, thank God.
I am so sorry, David.
I got word in the waiting room
my mother's not being
a very good patient.
She won't let me take her blood.
And she hissed at me.
I don't care for your tone
or your cold hands.
You know what? I'm gonna
give you two a minute.
I'm gonna go call my
mother and thank her
for living in Arizona.
What? Don't look at me like that.
I'm not comfortable with
a complete stranger
sticking a needle in me.
Okay. Would it make you feel better
if your son drew your blood?
Which son?
I was thinking the one
that went to medical school.
Ugh. God.
When did you become so scared
of a little blood draw?
It's not that.
What is it?
It's Suzanne Baker.
Who is Suzanne Baker?
Suzanne Baker was...
the picture of health.
Then she went in for a routine checkup
and six months later, kaput.
Okay. Well, I'm sorry
about your friend, but...
No. She wasn't my friend,
she was a miserable drunk
who once hit on your father, but...
she was a cautionary tale.
You know, you get to
a certain age and...
Look, if something really is wrong,
I don't want to know, okay?
Mom, if something is wrong,
we need to know.
- You think something's wrong?!
- No.
No, I don't.
Look, Mom,
when I was little
and scared of getting a shot,
you told me your love is so big,
it would protect me from all my fears.
I was a wonderful mother.
Well, now it's my turn.
Mom.
My love is so big, it will protect you
from all your fears.
Oh, Andrew.
That's not gonna cut it.
What else ya got?
I'll tell you what I got...
your blood.
Wait a minute. Did you just
emotionally manipulate me
to get what you want?
Sure did.
That's my son.
Hey, next Friday, I thought
we could go ice-skating,
and then we could
- kill some time and then...
- Actually, Dad,
I think you should use
your Fridays to explore
any interests you may not have
had time for in the past.
Well, we could take a pottery
or a cooking class,
and then we could make the pots
that we put the food in.
Yeah. Yeah, sure, but
I was thinking more
of an individual passion, you know?
What's something that
you've always wanted to do?
Nothing comes to mind.
Okay, well, let's think about it.
I mean, you could find your passion
in the most unexpected ways.
Like, for me, you remember
in high school,
I needed an elective
and everything was full
except drama, and then, bam,
I discovered I loved acting.
- Okay, I'll do that.
- Do what?
Be an actor. Sounds fun.
Oh, no, no, no. That was just
a personal example from my life.
Well, I'm in.
Everyone says that you get
your acting talent from me.
You're the apple and I'm the tree.
Okay, sure.
I mean, acting is something
you can do on Fridays.
How does it work?
I mean, should you set up
a meeting with your agent?
How about you start
with an acting class?
Great idea.
Fasten your seat belts,
because Harry Roberts
is landing in a theater near you.
Acting and stewarding.
I just combined two of my passions.
All right. Great.
Hey, Mom.
I brought you some ice cream
and your favorite cookies.
Why? Did my test results
come back? What's wrong?
Can't a son come home
in the middle of the day
for dessert with his mother?
Not unless he's my other son
who has less to do.
All right.
Get it over with. Tell me.
Everything is fine.
Oh, thank God.
But there was one blood test
that came back slightly elevated.
Okay. There it is. It's happening.
It's just your potassium levels.
They're slightly high,
which could have been caused
by any number of reasons,
including how the blood was drawn.
Oh, see? I knew that doctor
was an idiot.
I was that doctor.
Oh.
Anyway, we just need to draw
some more blood so they can retest it.
I'll do it tonight
when I get back from work.
- Sure, if I'm still around.
- Mom.
Relax. And whatever
you do, for God sakes,
do not go on the Internet
and start self-diagnosing.
Oh, what are you, crazy?
I don't even know how
to use the Internet.
Oh, my damn, Mrs. Roberts.
It could be any one of these things.
Oh, my God. My days are numbered!
Hey, hey, hey.
Don't you give up on me,
okay? We can beat this.
How?
Mexico.
Yeah, they do all sorts
of cutting-edge stuff.
My grandpa got LASIK there way
before they even knew it worked.
Yeah? How did it turn out?
Real wonky. I'm scared, Mrs. Roberts.
All right, Dad. Here we go.
I don't know, Josh.
Maybe this wasn't a good idea.
Everybody looks so
sophisticated and funky.
- Dad, you're just a little nervous.
- I'm not nervous.
Then why are you holding my hand?
I didn't know I was doing that.
Look, it's gonna be okay.
First days can be hard.
That's true.
I remember your first day
in kindergarten.
You were crying and you
wouldn't let go of Mommy.
Actually, Mom was crying
and wouldn't let go of me.
Come on. Let's introduce
ourselves to the teacher.
- Hello, there.
- Hey.
Hello. I'm Harold Roberts,
and it's a pleasure to meet you.
Harold Roberts. Look at you
with your bow tie and handshake,
so wonderfully formal.
But here in our studio,
we are much more open.
We hug.
Oh, this is nice.
Very different from law school.
You're right. This is
very different from law school.
It's time to set you free,
Harold Roberts. Ha!
Dad, are you okay?
I'm more than okay, Joshie.
I've been set free.
Hey, Judy. I think I left
the baby monitor... there it is.
Eve, you're a doctor, right?
We both know that I am.
I'm trying to find out something
for a friend
who needs medical advice.
Is it a big deal if
you have hyperkalemia?
It can be. I mean, your friend
might have diabetes,
heart problems, kidney failure.
Ah.
And I suppose it gives you
great pleasure
to tell me that I'm dying?
You? You just said it was for a friend.
Oh, come on.
When someone asks something
on behalf of a friend,
the friend is always the person.
High potassium readings can happen
for many different reasons.
- I'm sure you're fine.
- I have too much to live for.
The best husband, two wonderful sons,
a beautiful grandson.
Those four matching plates.
Yes.
And the thing that's
right in front of me.
- Really?
- This perfect apartment.
The reviews are in, Joshie.
Harry Roberts is a star!
So acting class was a success?
The teacher said that I had...
and I quote... "raw talent."
Does this mean that
you're going back next Friday?
Absolutely. I've already been
assigned my first character,
Frank Tumbleweed.
He's a traveling salesman
with a dark past.
Well, pass the popcorn,
'cause I'm watching.
We're doing method acting.
Have you ever heard of method acting?
Dad, I'm an actor. Of course
I've heard of method acting.
It's when you're
in the character the whole time.
You eat, breathe and live it.
And-and you don't come out
of it, no matter what.
Who knew acting was such hard work?
I did, on account of me being an actor.
I'm gonna get into my character.
Say good-bye to Harry Roberts.
Good-bye, Harry Roberts!
I'm Frank Tumbleweed,
a widower who moves in with his son.
Okay, here we go.
This will only take a few...
I hit a parked car in 1988
and I didn't leave a note!
What?
I want to make my amends and
go out with a clear conscience.
Mom, you are not...
Oh, and your guinea pig
didn't go live on a farm.
I accidentally drowned it
while giving it a bath.
- You killed Jeffrey?
- I thought he could swim!
Please say you forgive me.
I do not forgive you.
And we are just rechecking
your potassium.
My jewelry is hidden in vases
all around the apartment.
I want it all to go to you.
- Really?
- Yes.
Because you were born in place
of the daughter I always wanted.
Mom, these blood tests
come back wrong all the time.
You know what was wrong?
When I stole my best
friend Tina's boyfriend,
Ira, in college.
Sure, she had bosoms that wouldn't quit,
but I had a pizzazz that
was very rare in those days.
Hey, guys. What's going on?
Mom has to redo a blood test.
- Is everything okay?
- Yes.
No.
Well, Dad wants to move in with me
because he's playing
the role of a widower.
Yeah, I heard. It's a case
of life imitating life.
Dad is moving in with you?
Yeah, he's method acting.
You had a problem and you made it worse.
Listen, my darling sons, please,
grant your mother's last wish.
Don't tell your father I'm dying.
He'll worry so.
You're not dying.
Oh, yes, just like that.
Only let Josh do it... he's the actor.
- How you doing, Dad?
- I miss Mommy.
Great. You should go home
and be with her.
I can't, son. She's been dead for years.
Oh, I get it. You're in character.
Your mother had character.
I wish I hadn't spent
all that time on the road.
But people needed their vacuums.
All right, Frank, time for bed.
I'm not tired.
I wish your mother was here
to make me some warm milk.
Are you talking about Mom
or Mrs. Tumbleweed?
I don't even know anymore.
Hey. Got a minute?
Sure. What's up?
I'm dying. Can I come in?
Okay.
Eve,
I haven't always been
the best mother-in-law.
Whatever comes next,
I will remember this moment.
I want you to have this.
- A matching plate?
- Mm-hmm.
You said it only came in a set of four.
Well, before I knew I was dying,
I lied to you all the time.
It's from Crate and Barrel.
They got a million of 'em.
Thank you, Judy.
- And...
- Yeah?
I want you to know that when I'm gone,
I'm grateful that Andrew
and Wyatt have you
to take care of them.
I think Andrew chose wisely.
Wow.
I-I can't tell you
how much that means to me.
- Also...
- Yeah?
I think we should hug.
Oh.
Okay. Uh...
Should you sit back down or do I stand?
- Well, why don't you stand?
- I'm already up.
Yes. Okay.
- I'm glad we're doing this.
- Me, too.
- I'm comin' in.
- Okay.
I think we built it up too much.
Josh, how's your mom doing, man?
That is one brave lady.
You know she's not really dying, right?
That's the spirit.
Keep hope alive.
My problem is not my mother...
it is my father.
- Oh, you mean Frank Tumbleweed?
- Yeah.
Poor dude. I'm starting to think
he's never gonna get
over losing his wife.
Yeah, well, I couldn't bring
a date home last night
because Frank was
on the phone cold-calling
to get some vacuum leads.
Well, if you don't want him there,
then why don't you just ask
him to move back home?
Because home is a small town
in Ohio with one stoplight,
a drugstore, and a lot of broken dreams.
Gotcha.
And I don't want to hurt his feelings.
Hey, family needs to talk
about their issues, Josh.
Otherwise, you build up resentment.
It's like my Aunt Nita
and my cousin, Monroe.
What happened with them?
They didn't talk about their issues
and they built up resentment.
Are you not listening to me right now?
Hey, Dad.
Can we have a li...
Oh, my God.
Did a very specific
tornado hit my apartment?
I discovered the irony
of being me, Frank Tumbleweed.
I sell vacuums but I'm also a slob.
Okay, can I talk to my dad for a second?
I'm really glad that
you've found your passion.
Well, I wouldn't say that
selling vacuums is my passion.
- Dad. Okay.
- Yes, Frankie Jr.?
Look, I need you to break
character for a minute
so we can have a real conversation.
Oh. Okay.
Okay, I'm gonna be honest.
I'm not loving... you living here.
Why didn't you say something?
I didn't want to hurt your feelings.
Don't be silly. You can
always be honest with me.
- Really?
- Absolutely.
I'll leave right now.
Wow. Dad,
thank you so much.
Oh, and I'm ready for you
to set up that meeting with your agent.
- What?
- I think
I'm ready to discuss the next
phase of my acting career.
Okay, well, um,
- in the spirit of honesty...
- Yes?
The truth is, acting was just
a fun little thing for you to do
'cause I didn't want to have to
hang out with you every Friday.
Well, in that case, I think I'll go.
And, in the spirit of honesty,
I think you should clean up
your apartment.
It's disgusting.
And that's when I realized
that sometimes you need more
than a powerful vacuum
to pick up the pieces of your life.
That was transcendent.
Chills. I have them.
But you got to clean up
the peanut shells.
Okay, everybody, see you next week.
- Can I help?
- What are you doing here?
I came to apologize
for what I said last night.
There's honest and then there's hurtful.
And the thing is, I just watched
your whole performance,
and, honestly, you were great.
- I was?
- From the apple to the tree,
you really were.
I was, wasn't I?
I didn't know where I
ended and Frank began.
You guys were, like, one and the same.
Next week, I'm gonna be
playing Clive Bigglesworth,
a repressed butler who lives to serve
and serves to live.
Does Clive live with his wife?
He does. She's a sturdy woman.
Then I can't wait to meet him.
Hey, maybe I could come watch
Clive in action next Friday?
Will you be free?
That time, I made the joke.
Andrew, look, I've got my own plate.
I'm part of the complete set.
That is great, babe.
Although it's strange to me
how much you want in to this family.
Hello, Tina? This is Judy Roberts.
Tina, remember your old boyfriend Ira?
Oh, he's your husband now?
You might want to
pour yourself a scotch.
She's still making amends?
She has been on the phone all day.
She really thinks she's gonna die.
But she's gonna be okay, right?
I'm very sorry.
My pizzazz got the best of me.
Oh, Tina, I have to go.
My doctor's calling.
- It's Dr. Starnes. What do I do?
- Well, answer it.
I can't. I'm scared. What if it's bad?
It's okay. We'll all do it together.
Yeah, that's right.
Hello...?
Oh, God. I don't know why
I answered like that.
- I'm nervous.
- Hi, Mrs. Roberts.
Your second test came back and...
And what?
Sorry, just taking a bite of sandwich.
Everything's normal.
- Everything's...
- Oh!
- Oh!
- Thank you, Dr. Starnes! I'm normal!
Thank God. I knew it.
- I know.
- Oh.
- That's so wonderful.
- Aw, darling.
My turn.
God, I hope she stays healthy
for a long, long time.
I know, 'cause this is really weird.
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com