90210 (2008–2013): Season 3, Episode 11 - Holiday Madness - full transcript

Adrianna rents a mansion and decides to throw a housewarming party complete with an ice skating rink and elves. All is great in Adrianna's world until Victor decides to reveal Adrianna's secrets to the media. Annie decides to skip the party so she can take care of Liam, which leads to the two of them rekindling their old romance in Dixon's bed. Ivy's reconciliation with her father doesn't go quite as she planned. Teddy and Ian discuss their feelings and decide to keep their relationship quiet for the time being, unaware that Dixon saw them share a kiss. Meanwhile, Navid and Silver share their feelings and realize they both feel the same way. Naomi returns home from the party to find an unexpected visitor.

Previously on 90210:

Javier had this notebook of songs.

After he died, I took it.

I'm famous.

You won't be, if I tell them the truth.

You could expose me

or you can continue
being my manager, on my terms.

It's not the way Adrianna's been acting
that's bothering me.

It's also the way
that I've been feeling about you.

Ivy doesn't know
that you and I slept together.

- Babe, I know you're upset.
- Yes. I'm upset!

Upset because my mother
is a whore.

Well, I don't feel that way
about you either.

I'm still in love with Dax.

Dax is here. I can't handle this.

No, he's gonna think
you have a new boyfriend.

Stay away from my girl.

I know she's much better off
without you.

Wait until you see this house.
It is so Sunset Blvd.

I thought we were off of Mulholland.

Yeah, get this. Allegedly, supposedly.
You didn't hear it from me.

But Gloria Swanson
actually used to live here.

Oh, Sunset Blvd. the movie.
Sunset Blvd.

Right, Gloria Swanson.
I mean, come on. She was huge.

"It was the pictures that got small."


Now, it's not cheap, but the legend,
the history. It's beyond fabulous.

And when I saw this place,
I said to myself,

I said, "This place is so Adrianna."

It is so me.

I love it. I want it.

Uh, what do you say we, uh...?

We look inside
before we start making offers?

There's no "we," Victor.

There is me and there is you,
who works for me.

"I'm ready for my close-up,
Mr. DeMille."

Incredible, right?

The parties that have been thrown
in this house, legendary.

- Really?
- Mm-hm.

Well, apparently, supposedly.
You didn't hear this from me.

But Rudolph Valentino once swung
across this room on a chandelier.

- In the nude.
- Ha, ha. Whoa.

Mm-hm. Come on.

I wanna throw a party here.

A huge party.

- Wow.
- This is a house for a star, Adrianna.

Honestly, and I say this as your friend,
not as your real-estate agent,

this house is your destiny.

Okay. How much is it?

Twenty grand a month and you have
to commit for six months.

When destiny calls...

- Adrianna?
- What?

- I'll give you two a moment.
- No, l...

- It's okay.
- Fine.


Look, I wouldn't be doing my job
as your manager

if I didn't at least suggest

that you look for a house
that's more affordable.

- Ugh, you're such a wet blanket.
- I don't mean to be a wet blanket,

but six months' commitment,
that's no joke.

A lot of things can change
in the music business in six months.

- I see. So you don't believe in me?
- It's not that, I swear.

Ha, ha, you know what?
It doesn't matter if you do or you don't

because I believe in me
and my career is gonna be just fine.

It's not that I doubt you,
but being cautious financially...

Fine. You want me
to save my money?

I'm cutting your commission in half.

Happy now?

I'll take it. Ha, ha.


We love it here, don't we, Beyonc??

Good girl.

- Oh!
- Wipe out.



- About what happened at the luau...
- Yep.

And, uh, me confessing my feelings
for you...

Awkward or not awkward?
I'm taking a poll, ha, ha.

Uh, I'm gonna go with awkward.

- Yeah.
- Yeah. Ha, ha. Yeah.

I'm just really confused, Silver.

I mean, officially, I'm with Adrianna,
but maybe I shouldn't be.

I just...
I don't feel the same way I felt.

And there's you.

Truth is, uh,
what I said at the beach...

I think we've been spending
too much time together.

- What?
- You have a girlfriend.

Your girlfriend's my good friend.

Let's just give each other
some space, okay?

I can't believe
those eyelashes are real.

You know, I can't believe
that fake eyelashes exist.

Dude, don't you think the idea
that women use, like, glue

to attach false pieces of hair made
from plastic to their lids at all strange?

- Um, no.
- Well, we will agree to disagree, then.

Speaking of body hair, I'm going to this
amazing new wax place tonight

if you wanna come with.

They serve blueberry margaritas
and they so don't card.

Yeah, no, thank you.

Not that the idea
of blueberry-flavoured cocktails

and hair removal doesn't sound
like a killer combination,

but I have plans.

- Hmm.
- I'm seeing my dad tonight.

Gonna see your dad?
I didn't know he was in the picture.

Yeah, well, we haven't spoken
in, like, years,

but, uh, things are pretty bad
with my mom back at home,

- so I just figured...
- You'd call your dad.

Yeah. And I didn't know
how it was gonna go, right?

Because I thought he'd moved on
and he has this new family.

Maybe he didn't care
about me anymore.

But he was totally into it.
It was really cool.

And he, like, wanted to do something
right away, so...

Anyways, we'll see.

Oh, it's gonna go great.

And if it doesn't and you need to bail,
just join me for a blueberry Brazilian.

Uh, yeah, no. That sounds horrible.

- It's amazing.
- Dude, that sounds horrible.

- Okay, we'll agree to disagree.
- Fine.

- Hey.
- Hey.

- What are you up to?
- Escaping the Pleistocene era.

You don't look a day over Holocene.

Um, so that was fun.

The luau.

- Yeah. It was.
- Mm-hm.


What's wrong?

I'm just... I'm not...

I'm not ready for everyone
to know I'm...


Look, I like you
and I wanna keep seeing you,

but I need it to be a...

A secret.

Yeah, I guess.

Look, I came out of the closet
in ninth grade

and I'm not willing
to go back there again.

I'm sorry, Teddy.

- That's ridiculous.
- Exactly.

- He said that I said that?
- Exactly.

That's absurd.

I mean, who doesn't get
yeast infections these days?

Oh, anywhere.
The gas station, the grocery store.

Oh, my God.

- I know. I know.
- As if I did ever, ever...

- Exactly.
- Well, he's not un-cute.

- Ha, ha, people are rude.
- No kidding.

- It's Charlie.
- Ha, ha.

Go ahead.


Hey. Oh, I miss you too.

That's really it.
I just called to say I miss you.

Oh, well, I miss you.

- You wanna do something soon?
- Definitely.

Tonight I'm sleeping over
at Adrianna's new house.

But tomorrow night, you better come
to that party with me.

Adrianna's getting an ice-skating rink.

Apparently, she's going all-out so I can
only imagine what that will mean.

- Dixon, I'm on the phone. Sorry.
- Liam is in the hospital.

Wait. What do you mean?

Is he okay? What happened?

Is everything all right?

Liam's in the hospital.

- What happened?
- I don't know.

Apparently, he got beat up real bad
after the luau.

- They took him to the hospital.
- We gotta go. I gotta go.

Wait, no, is Liam all right?

I don't know.
I'll call you as soon as I know anything.

Come on.

Hey, Naomi.

So I enjoyed eating guacamole
with you the other night.

- That sounds dirty.
- Ha, ha.

I didn't mean it dirty.
I meant it for real.

It was kind of fun being miserable
with you too.

Oh, it looks like you've healed.

Ah. Time heals all wounds.

Time and a boatload
of Cr?me de la Mer.

- Well, you look great.
- Thank you.

Hey, um, so would you like to go out
with me sometime?

I don't know. Maybe.

Well, it's not a no.

But it's not a yes.

Not yet.

Look, I know you hate Oscar, okay?
But he's really not such a bad guy.

Naomi, he is, okay?

He's a really, really bad guy.

- But he's...
- But he's what? He's "hot?"

- Well, yeah, but...
- Look, I'm sorry.

You haven't forgotten
what he did to me?

No. Of course not.

Just because someone does
a bad thing doesn't mean they're bad.

Maybe he's learned his lesson,
you know?


You know what?
Naomi, just do your thing. Okay?

Seriously, it's cool. It's totally cool.
You just... You live your life.

I'm gonna live mine. It's all good.

No harm, no foul, okay?

- But...
- What?

So they don't remake The Odd Couple
starring you and me.

It's okay. I think I'll live.

Liam, you need to take it easy.

I'm fine. You don't have
to worry about me.

Liam, you're not fine. Okay?

You're staying in my room,
I'm sleeping on the couch.

You don't have to give up your room,
I'm not...

Liam. Look, you got your ass kicked.

If you don't shut up
and let us take care of you,

- you're gonna get it kicked again.
- Yeah. By me.


What do you want us to do?

Let you go back to sleeping
in your car?


All right.

That's right.

You don't wanna deal
with these fists of fury.

- Ooh.
- You're staying. Come on.

- Excuse me, sir.
- Yeah.

Hello, they've got prime rib.

Oh, do they?

Do you eat red meat?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course.

Of course I eat red meat. Um...

But we don't have a lot at home
because Mom's a vegetarian mostly,

but I love red meat.

I don't think I've ever had prime rib,

Ha. Why do they even call prime rib
"prime rib" anyway?

Is it like there are some ribs
that are prime

and others that are less than prime,

because who's gonna order less
than prime rib? That would...

Okay, I'm officially shutting up now.

No, I'm glad to hear you talk.

I'm sorry. I'm obviously
a little nervous to see you.

And excited.

I feel like nervous and excited equals
me rambling on like an auctioneer.

And I'm sorry.

I'm really glad you called me.

I've actually been trying
to get in touch with you.

It's just...

Your mother told me
to keep my distance.

She did? She actually told you
to stay away from me?

- Mm-hm.
- God, she is unbelievable.

- Classic Laurel.
- Yeah. Totally.

Your mother doesn't always think
about how her decisions

will affect other people.

No kidding.

We're not really speaking
at the moment.

Welcome to the club.

But, look, the important thing is
we're getting a chance to start over.

- You and me.
- Yeah.

I'm really, really, really glad for that.

- Do you sing?
- No.

I mean, you know, not, like,
outside of the shower or anything.

Well, you should start practising.

Because we do a lot of carolling
at our house around the holidays.

Spend Christmas with me.

Really? Because Mom never does
the Christmas thing

and we do some, you know, like,
winter solstice thing, but...

I've kind of missed, like,
a real Christmas.

Then it's a deal. It's a good time.

We have a big Christmas tree
and a turkey dinner...

- And carolling.
- And carolling. It's fun, actually.

Well, I don't sing, but I am learning
how to play the guitar.

Well, bring your guitar.

What can I get you for dinner tonight?

You know, I'm actually gonna try
the prime rib.



- Hi.
- Whoa. Hi.

So, what do you think
of my humble abode?

Uh, I think it's insane.

What did you...? This is totally
and wonderfully and clinically insane.

- You have a balcony in your foyer.
- Right?

Romeo, Romeo,
wherefore art thou Romeo?

Oh, Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down
your gorgeous hair extensions. Ha, ha.

- Navid.
- Hey.

Are you sleeping over?

Yeah. I decided to make it a guy-girl
thing, but no one else could make it.

I guess Annie and Dixon
are with Liam,

and apparently, Naomi is drunk
after some kind of waxing session.

God knows what that means.
And Ivy's with her dad.

So it's just the three of us.

Oh, okay.

And Beyonc?. Ha, ha.

- Ha, ha.
- This is gonna be so fun, ha, ha.

So much fun.

Yeah, totally.


Isn't this relaxing?

- Yeah, this is great.
- Absolutely.

Very relaxing. Ha.


Uh, you know what? I better get out.
I feel like an overcooked noodle.

Oh, don't be silly. You just got in.

Just relax.

So, Ade, how are things
going with your album?

Uh, hold that thought.

Victor is here. Apparently,
he has something to drop off.

Some sort of holiday present.

Ha, ha. You two, soak.

- No, no, I'll come with you.
- No, seriously, I'm getting woozy.

- Sorry to bother you.
- Yeah, I was hanging with my friends,

but, whatever, you're here now.

- Nice robes.
- Uh, they're hers.

Uh, anyway, uh, this is for you.

It's just a little Christmas
gift/housewarming present.

Housewarming? If it was up to you,
I wouldn't even live in this place.

Slash-apology gift.

- A blanket?
- And a bottle of champagne.

Uh, nonalcoholic, of course.

Yeah, uh, get it?

A wet blanket?

Because I was being such
a, you know, downer before.

It's cashmere.

Look, I could pretend like I love it,
but to be honest, I really don't love it.

It'd be easier for me if you just
returned it. Do you mind? Thanks.

Yeah. Okay, sure.

- That's my bad.
- Ha, ha.

- What?
- That was pretty harsh.

Oh, please, you feel bad for Victor?

That guy treated me like crap
and you know it.

You hated him, Navid.

Ha, ha, a blanket? Seriously?

Hey, babe?

It's late.

You should get some sleep.

So I've got a surprise.

We're going to Rome.

I figured we needed a vacation
this year.

You can see your cousins,
check out the Sistine Chapel.

- I just booked us a flight.
- You did?

Leaving tomorrow.

Hey, don't worry. I already picked up
a pi?ata on Olvera Street.

The traditional mother-daughter winter-
solstice tradition will remain intact...

I called Dad.

- What?
- Yeah.

Okay? I called Dad,
and we went to dinner,

and he invited me
to spend Christmas with him.

Like a real Christmas,
not a winter solstice with a pi?ata.

A Christmas with a tree,
and a turkey, and carols...

I can't believe you called your father.

More like you can't believe that your
efforts to keep us apart didn't work.

- Look, it's not true.
- Okay, so...

You didn't tell Dad
to stay away from me?


Yes, I did.

You know, but with good reason.
Your father, Ivy, he's not a good guy.

He's selfish and not trustworthy...

Not trustworthy?

Wow, that's really funny.

You talking about trust.

I'm not going to Italy, okay?
You can go without me.

You know what, it's really late.
I'd like to get some rest.

Come on, Beyonc?.

Uh, hi.

- Couldn't sleep.
- Right.

Got a glass of water.

Look, um,

I can't stop thinking about you,

And I gotta ask you,
is what I'm feeling all in my head?


You mean,

you don't feel the same way
that I feel?

What are you guys doing?

- Just getting a glass of water.
- Just walking Beyonc?.

Well, I just had
the most horrible nightmare ever.

I was at the Grammy's, I was wearing
the same dress as Miley Cyrus. Ugh.

I'm literally shaking.

Hey, girls. Say cheese.

- Cheese, ha, ha.
- Ha-ha-ha.

More like cheese-y.
Outdoor ice skating in L. A?

Come on, big whoop.

I get it.

Someone's jealous they didn't think
of it for their big party.

I had ice sculptures and cookies
with my face on it.

She does not have cookies.

True. On the other hand,
she has Justin Bieber.

- Get out. What?
- No, I saw him by the latke table.

He was double-dipping
in the applesauce.

Jeremy Piven
and Rachel Zoe, I mean, oh, my God.

- Elves.
- What?

She has elves.


Santa baby
Just slip a sable under the tree

For me

Been an awful good girl
Santa baby

So hurry down the chimney tonight

Santa baby, a '54 convertible too
Light blue

I'll wait up for you, dear

Santa baby
So hurry down the chimney tonight

Hurry down the chimney tonight

Hurry tonight


I should've thought of elves.

You should go to Ade's party.

I'm not going to Ade's party.

I'm staying here
and taking care of you.

Oh, Charlie. Hi.

- What the hell are you doing here?
- I was worried.

- Get out.
- I want to make sure you're okay.

You know what, I will be okay
if you get out of my face. Get out.

- If you'd just let me talk...
- I don't wanna talk.

Okay, man.

I'm sorry. I was worried.

I know, but everything's okay.

Dixon and I will take care of Liam.

Okay, I just...

Just take good care of him.

Yeah, I will.

I'll see you later.


Okay, oh, my God,
thank you all so much for coming.

This is amazing.

Whoo! We love you, girl.

Ha, ha. Ahem.

"The holidays are a time
when we can celebrate miracles.

Christians celebrate the miraculous
virgin birth of Jesus Christ,

from whom we get
the word 'Christmas.'

And Jews celebrate
some sort of miraculous candle oil

that burned way longer
than advertised.

And when I look out at all of you
and I think about my life right now,

my success, my friends,
my forthcoming album, ha, ha,

I keep thinking
that I'm living a miracle."

- Aw.
- I love you all, guys. Enjoy the party.


Wow, man, it's...

It's crazy how much has changed
just this year.

Everything's different.

Ade's a huge pop star living
in the Munster Mansion.

And Naomi's been
through hell and back.

Me and Ivy are over.

And you, you've gone through
a pretty big change yourself.

What do you mean?

You know, not being able
to play tennis anymore.

Oh, ahem, yeah, yeah.

Not being able to play tennis
is huge.

You didn't tell me you could surf
like that. You're seriously good.

Okay, no, I seriously wiped out, like,
four times.

Ivy, I am so impressed with you.

So is surfing something
you wanna do with your life?

Yeah. God, I would love, love, love
to be a pro surfer.

That'd be amazing.

So is that something that you'd do
right away out of high school?

Yeah, maybe.

I'd be stoked, but on the other hand,

you know, I don't wanna miss out
on the chance to go to college.

And coming from the parental angle,

you probably think I should go
to college first, huh?

Well, whatever you want.
You know, I just...

Just what?

Ah, never mind. I don't wanna rag
on your mother too much.

No, no, no, tell me.
What were you gonna say?


I'll tell you this because I feel like
we get each other, you and me.

Yeah, totally. What's up?

Not sure how much you know
how the divorce went down.

Not much. Mom was always
pretty tight-lipped about it.

It was typical.

Uh, well, things were threatening
to get nasty

and I agreed to some things
that maybe I shouldn't have.

Like what?
What did she make you do?

There's a clause in the divorce papers
that says I have to pay for your college.

And I have two kids of my own
right behind you

and I don't have the kind of money
your mother does.

And now that we're on good terms,

hopefully we could present
a united front to Laurel to tell her

that paying for your college
is her responsibility.

Oh, hey, did I mention
that you should stop by for Christmas?

You really should try and make it.

Patricia and the kids
and I have a real blast,

and it'd be so cool
if you could come by.


Yeah, no, that sounds good.


How gorgeous is this?

I love it.

Oh, this is hideous. Return pile.

Another present for me? Yay.

Okay, you know what,
I'm gonna take a walk, Ade.

A scarf?

Oh, my gosh. This is so beautiful.

Oh, I'll see you in a little bit, babe.

- Do we hate it?
- Oh, we so hate it.

Return pile.

Candy cane, gingerbread,
figgy pudding?

No, thanks.

Candy cane, gingerbread,
figgy pudding?

I didn't even know figgy pudding
was a real thing.

Oh, it's real, all right. Real delicious.

Yeah. No, thanks.

I'm actually just about to take off.

Turns out watching other people have
fun doesn't always cheer a person up.

Thank you, though.

- Hey.
- Hey.

How was dinner?


I know you're still annoyed with me
about the whole Oscar thing.

But I just...

What was it like to see your dad?
How did it go?

How did it go?

Well, I'll tell you.

It went horribly, okay?

Turns out he doesn't actually care
about me at all and it sucked.

Happy holidays.

"To Adrianna.

May this holiday season bring you
everything you deserve.

With love, Victor."

Ugh, what a kiss-ass.

Where is he, anyway?

Who cares?

This better be good
or someone's unemployed.

- Ha-ha-ha.
- Come on. Open it.

What is it?

- What did you get?
- What is it, a photo?

- Who took it?
- I hope someone famous.

I think he took it himself.

Well, what is it,
some kind of private joke?

I do not get
that man's sense of humour.

Now, where are you going?

What, did you, like, miss your flight?

I decided not to go.

Why not?

Naomi called me and she told me that
things didn't go so well with your dad.

She thought you might not
wanna be alone.

I'm fine, okay? I'm fine.

Everything's fine.

Ivy, what happened?

What is it?

He didn't really
wanna have me for Christmas.

Okay? He just wanted to see me

because he didn't wanna pay
for my college.

That's it, he just didn't wanna pay
for me.

He has his own kids, you know,
his real kids he has to pay for.


Oh, sweetie, come here.

Come on, honey.

You were right, Mom.

He's not trustworthy. He's not.


Oh, I'm so sorry you got hurt.

And, Ivy, from the bottom of my heart,
I'm so sorry for how I hurt you. I...

I'm so sorry about Oscar and...

And I'm sorry that we don't have
a white picket fence, you know,

and I don't know
how to make a turkey

or do any of the mom things
that moms are supposed to do.

Mom, it's okay.

I don't care about a turkey,
not really.

I just...

I really need you.

I really...

I just need you to love me.

That's all.

Well, that's something I can do.

I can love you.

I can love the hell out of you, Ivy.

- Hello.
- Did you steal my notebook?

Your notebook?
Ha, ha. That's pretty funny.

You did. You stole it.

No, no, no, you stole it,
I'm merely seeking restitution.

- What does that mean?
- It means payback, ha, ha.

No, I mean, what did you do?

- What did you do with the notebook?
- Look, you cut my commission in half.

I had to figure out another way
to make money.

Turns out there were a number
of "Internet journalists," shall we say,

that were, uh, willing
to pay quite handsomely.

And I'm doing an exclusive
with People tomorrow. Should be fun.

Yeah. Maybe they'll take my picture.

Hey, sweetheart, how would you like
a cashmere blanket?

I gotta take this, okay?

People are so rude.

Hey, Marla, long time no talk.

So, um, thanks for calling my mother.

That was totally out of line
and an invasion of privacy and all that,

but it was sweet.

And I'm grateful.

I'm glad, Ivy.

I know you think I'm self-centered
and boy crazy,

but I really care about my friends,
and you're one of my friends.

Yeah, well, cool.

Ho's before bros.

Exactly. Ha, ha.

And listen,
I've been thinking about it, um,

as much as I think that Oscar
is a total jerk...

I know, I know.

No, wait, wait.

I'm not gonna stand in the way
if you wanna go out with him.

You know, I can be friends with you
without liking the guy that you date.



And I wanna be friends with you.

So I guess we'll just agree
to disagree about him.

Thanks, Ivy.

Hey, good to go.

Uh, okay. Yo, I gotta go.


Happy holidays.

Yeah. You too, Naomi.

Ha, ha, thattagirl.
You got a piece of it.

I hate prime rib.

It's bloody and disgusting.

I hate turkey dinners.
I hate meat in general.

I hate white picket fences.

I hate carolling.

I hate stupid Christmas carols.

Whoo-hoo! Got it!




Hey. I'm sorry to wake you.

No, no.

No, you've gotta for the concussion.


Thanks, by the way.

I feel bad that you missed the party.

I don't.


When I heard that you were
in the hospital, I just...

I felt like my heart stopped
or something.

If you weren't okay,
then I wouldn't be okay.

I'm sorry how I acted before.

With Charlie.

I've got my problems with him, but...

It's not just that.

It's hard for me to see you with him.

Because l...

Because I'm in love with you.

I've loved you

for a long time.

Candy cane? Gingerbread?

- Uh...
- Figgy pudding?

Ha. Uh, yeah, no, thanks.

It's cool.

That guy loves his figgy pudding.

Yeah, sure does.

You okay?


Not really.
Everything is all messed up and...

You know, it's my own fault.

What do you mean?

I basically destroyed our friendship
by making everything awkward and...

- Navid.
- No, Silver, I'm really sorry. l...

I realise that I'm completely deluded
and there's just...

There's nothing between us. And I
don't even know what's wrong with me.

I mean, first, I wreck my family
by reporting my dad and now this?

My friendship with you is like

the only thing that made me happy,
and I ruined it.

I'm just an idiot.
A deluded, crazy idiot and...

Navid, you're not.

It's not... It's...
It's not all in your head.

I mean,

I feel it too.

You do?

Yeah, I do.

What a laugh it would have been

If Daddy had only seen

Mommy kissing Santa Claus
Last night

Hey, dude. Tell me you have one
of those figgy puddings left.

I do.

Hey. Can I talk to you alone?

I'm sorry to bug you. I need to talk
and there's no one else to talk to.

What about a therapist?

Look, lan, I get that you came out
in the ninth grade,

but I'm just not there yet.

- Teddy.
- Look...

I know I'm gay.

I just need some time
to process that.

I just wanna figure out who I am

and what it means before the whole
world knows and starts to judge me.

Can't you just give me that time?

There's so much about this that
is totally overwhelming and confusing.

But there's one thing
I'm not confused about.

I wanna be with you.

I like you, lan.

And I wanna be with you.


- Okay?
- Yeah.


I hear you.

I hear where you're coming from.

And if you need some time

when things aren't totally in the open,
we can do that.

It's okay with me.

- Okay.

Hey, Oscar. It's Naomi.
Um, where'd you go?

I was looking for you at the end
of the party, but you disappeared.

Um, so listen,

I've been thinking about your offer
and I've decided that...


I think you're hot,

but fundamentally, I'm a girls' girl,

and a girls' girl just isn't gonna go out
with a guy

who was a jerk to one of her friends,
even if he's really hot.

And plus, I'm actually really happy
being alone right now.

Goodbye, Oscar.