90210 (2008–2013): Season 2, Episode 4 - The Porn King - full transcript

This is incredible.

You are incredible.

I want...

I want what's under there.

Hey, I got a treat for you.

Hey.

Hey, you okay, sweetie?

Yeah. Yeah, I just...

I guess I fell asleep.

How could you when it's so
positively thrilling around here?

No, don't get me wrong,
love working weekends.



Just wish it was a three-day weekend.
So I could give more to The Blaze.

Yeah, thanks. That kind of sarcasm
I need from my staff.

- Chinese food.
- Chinese food.

Keep ordering from Mr. Chow
and I will work any Sunday you want.

- Very good.
- Your boyfriend rocks, by the way.

I know.

- I rock.
- Totally rocks.

I love the bass on this part.

- Yeah, it's like boom, boom, boom.
- Right?

- Sorry.
- Yeah.

One second.

It's Navid.

- Oh, again?
- Yeah.

I gotta tell you,
that guy's dedicated to his job.



Yeah, I think I better take this one.

Well, I will take a shower.

Yes, because you are a dirty girl.

Filthy.

What's up?

A couples massage?

You got a $400 couples massage?

I just checked
my credit card charges online.

Navid, feel free to
take the rest of the night off.

You know, you've worked
hard enough this week.

I've been working hard.

Sorry to be bearer of a reality check.
But have you lost your freaking mind?

Sort of.

Oh, man... All right, look.

I'll pay you back for the
couples massage, all right?

But I'm telling you, it was worth it.

Navid, my friend, I'm living a dream.

Dixon, my friend, you are living a lie.

Look, I'm gonna come clean.

When?

I don't know, later,
when the time is right.

I don't know how you handle
the stress. Okay? I can't...

I've got sensitive skin, okay?
And I'm like covered with hives.

Navid, all right. Look, man,
I'm sorry I'm stressing you out. Okay?

I'm very appreciative for
everything you've been doing.

You know, loaning me
your dad's car.

- Renting out this hotel room for us.
- Covering for you with your parents.

By the way, we've been
working on a science project

involving the tsetse fly.

- The what, what?
- Tsetse fly.

It's important to have details down
in case your dad asks on Monday.

Oh, man, your dad.

You better be in school
or I don't know what I'll do

if he, like, interrogates me,
if he interrogates me

I will so give you up.

- Navid?
- I don't do well under pressure.

This is why I couldn't be a spy.
I get all hivey and honest.

Dixon, come join me in the shower.

I gotta go.

Dixon? Hello?

What are you doing here?

I'm meeting someone.

Who? Annie the skank?

Teddy. We're going surfing.

Look, none of what
Annie said on the boat was true.

None of it. We never had sex.

Not a bunch of times. Not once.

Never.

Naomi, you have to trust me.

Trust you? That's a laugh.

What do you know about trust, huh?

Trust is what Naomi and I have.

We look out for each other.
We take care of each other.

I can trust her. She can trust me.

And we both can't trust you.

Now shoo.

News alert.

Four golf carts were stolen
from the Westwood Country Club.

Okay, it's a lame story.

Guys, I think I got a good one.

You remember that homeless
guy that was killed

- on prom night?
- Yeah.

The one Teddy Montgomery found?

Yeah. Why?

- Oh, my God.
- What?

Gia?

Sorry. The homeless guy
just donated $100,000 to West Bev.

- No way.
- What?

Why? How does a homeless guy
have $100,000?

Good question. Let's go find out.
Silver, you report it.

- Gia, produce the piece.
- Yeah.

Sweet.

Adrianna?

What's up, Mom?

Let me see.

What are you doing?

Just checking to make sure
you haven't injured your hand.

- Your fingers aren't broken, are they?
- No.

Then how come you haven't called
your agent in two weeks, huh?

Mom, I told you.
I am not auditioning.

Whatever.
Luckily I called her myself.

I think she got you an audition
for a mid-season pilot.

- Really?
- Yeah.

I'm not auditioning.

Oh, God.

Who do you think you are,
Julia Roberts?

What's that supposed to mean?

Alyse said that if you didn't
show up to that audition

she's dropping you, for good.

Oh, no. No, no.

What's wrong?

We overslept. I'm late.
We gotta go. Please get up.

- Good morning, skank.
- Get a life, Naomi.

Hey, do you want to hang out later?

Maybe. I'll let you know.

Yo, Annie, I got a mouse pad made
with the image from your sext.

The closest you'll ever get to a girl.

First of all, I want to say
how sorry I am for your loss.

Thanks.

So how did you find out
about what had happened to him?

What's going on?

That homeless guy
that was killed in the hit and run?

His name's Joe Herman.
Apparently, he went here.

He donated like $100,000
to West Bev in his will.

- What?
- I know. Crazy, right?

Check this out for crazy.
His nephew goes here. That's him.

His death must have been
such a shock, huh?

Yeah. Yeah, it was.

I don't mean to pry. I just think
that the students of West Beverly

would like to know
about their mysterious benefactor.

Oh, they do, huh?

Lucky me. This must be
what it's like to be popular.

Can you tell us anything else
about your uncle?

He was nuts. Schizo.

He was mentally ill?

Whatever you want to call it.

Wait a minute.

You're that crazy chick,
mentally ill chick.

Seriously, I loved that movie
you made last year.

It was like mix
between early Cocteau...

...meets Un chien andalou
meets something wacked...

Back to your uncle.

Why do you think
he left all his money to our school?

Beats me.

Are there any leads in this case?

Please. To the cops,

he was just another homeless guy
left behind like a piece of garbage.

The person who hit him and
left him behind on the side of the road

was the piece of garbage.

Hey, Millicent,
great goal against Fairfax.

Sweeper never even saw it coming.

- Good job.
- Thanks.

Hey, Gavin,
I told you no skates at school.

You said no rollerblading.

No, I said no rolling wheels
that attach to your feet.

Hey, Navid?

Principal Wilson.

Hey, how you doing?

Hey, how about that homeless guy?

A hundred thousand dollars
to the school,

that's a pretty amazing story.

The Blaze is all over that
just so you know.

So don't you worry.
I'm gonna cover the heck out of it.

Okay.

Hey, so where's Dixon?
Haven't seen him all morning.

Everything okay?

He's...

- Well, the thing is he's...
- Hey.

- Hey.
- What's up, Dad?

Navid, where the heck
have you been, man?

I've been looking all over for you.

We got to polish up
that tsetse fly presentation, man.

That'd be great.

So we're gonna get going.

- See you later, Pop.
- Later.

Man, I'm covered with hives, bro.

Thanks, man. Thanks.

Hey.

Hey.

Do you want to go grab
some lunch or something?

I can't. I have abs. I mean, lab.

I've got chemistry lab.

So... Yeah, I'm late.

- Bye.
- Bye.

Oh, my God, we've got to go
to the Arc de Triumph.

L'Arc de Triomphe.

You are so adorable.

- You are wonderful.
- Yeah, well...

I can't believe
you're taking me to Paris.

- I've never been out of the country.
- Yeah, you have.

Dad took you to Canada.

Yeah, well, Montreal's no Paris.

I'm just saying you said
you never been out of the country.

And you have.

Hey, Liam.

How about you don't use that tone
with your mother, okay?

Hey, would you look at this?

We know her, don't we?

Yeah.

Yeah, we do.

I can't believe people would rather
read this than The Blaze.

I mean, really?

It's an insult to student intelligence.

Yeah, Sasha and I
both hate celebrity news.

I mean, it's like
we're both so in tune, kid.

You guys are like
Siamese twins, huh?

Did I tell you guys
that we both like DJ Rupture?

- Yeah, and Roy Campanella.
- Yeah, and orange sherbet.

- And Casablanca.
- All right, all right.

Jeez, it's just that
I've never found anybody

who gets me like she does.

You know, it's like
she knows me, man.

Oh, right, she knows you.

Except for the little fact
that you are a junior in high school.

- Little fact.
- Yeah.

I'm gonna tell her, guys.

Invite her to junior prom.

Tell her there.

Shut up, both of you. All right?

I'm gonna tell her. I'm gonna do it.

Just when the time's right.

Beautiful night, isn't it?

- What are you doing here?
- We need to talk, in private.

Should I leave you alone or...?

It doesn't have to be in private.

I don't mind discussing Olivier
in front of your date.

Darling, go inside. I'll be right in.

What are you talking about?

How did you...?

Finding the picture was luck.

Then I got on the Internet.

A lot comes up, it turns out.

Partied pretty hard, huh? Chased after
a lot of guys with money and titles.

You don't know anything.

And then you landed Olivier.

Rich, a baron.

Perfect fairy tale for a gold digger.

I mean, happily ever after, right?

Until your marriage ended
after one month.

According to the French tabloids
you were such a spendaholic

that when you guys split up
you were broke.

You know what's funny?

Naomi never told me
you were married or broke.

Or does she not know?

Because I thought your whole
relationship was based on trust.

What do you want?

I want you to tell her
what happened on prom night.

Fine.

- Give me 24 hours.
- Fine.

Man, agents are scum.

Trying to blackmail you
into auditioning.

Yeah, but if I just go
on this one audition

all I miss this afternoon
is Humanities.

I thought you didn't want to do
the acting thing anymore.

No, it's not that I don't want to.

It's just...

I just think it's just probably
a good idea to take a break.

Agreed.

I don't want my agent to drop me.
I mean, acting is my passion.

I'm gonna go back to it eventually.

Oh, yeah, yeah, and then when
you're ready, you'll get a new agent.

I'm sorry, no offense. You don't know
what you're talking about.

- That's not how things work.
- Why not? You're pretty amazing.

Baby, I am a green-eyed brunette
who can cry on command.

Do you know how many
other girls there are just like me?

Yeah, I do.

Zero.

Don't do it. Don't go.

No, I'm serious.
You know how that world makes you.

All that Hollywood insanity,

it just chews people up
and spits them out. Look at you.

Look at what happened to you
last year.

All the drugs, the pregnancy...

No, I know, I was there. I remember.

You're doing it, you know?

And you even reached that title of
"No Drama Adrianna."

- Hey, you two.
- Hey.

You guys ever take a class
with Mr. Lichtenstein?

That guy's like a freaking terrorist.

- Dude, you're taking him before lunch?
- Yeah.

Once his blood sugar drops,
you're dunzo.

Dude, unreal.

Hey, do you mind
if I grab a few fries?

- Yeah. Feel free.
- All right.

I gotta go make a call to my agent.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

- Cool.
- But I will see you later?

- Okay, bye, babe.
- Bye.

Hey.

Hey.

I just wanted to say

that I'm really sorry
about your uncle.

Okay.

Thanks.

I'm just so sorry.

Why? Did you know him
or something?

No, no, it's sad.

And I just wanted to tell you
that I'm sorry. That's all.

Teddy.

Vicky.

So, hey, I'm working on a piece
for The Blaze about Joe Herman.

And I was really hoping
to get a comment from you.

I mean, after all, you were the one
who discovered his body.

Yeah, well, I was surprised.

I mean, a hundred grand,
that's pretty generous.

I thought he was just
a homeless guy.

I'm sorry, just a homeless guy?

Okay, that didn't come out right.

I meant an abode-challenged
individual.

Do you think being homeless
is funny?

Don't you?
Look, they live in cardboard boxes.

Use grocery carts
as means of locomotion.

I'm kidding. I'm kidding.

Why don't you go down to
Venice Boulevard to do that set?

I mean, maybe you can start off with,
"Hey, I'm Teddy.

My dad's a movie star and
I'll never have to work a day."

All right, I get you.
It was in bad taste.

Whatever.

Can you do the interview please,
about Joe Herman?

You know what? I can't. No, thanks.

- No thanks?
- You got to leave me out of it. Okay?

All right, look, maybe you saw
something you don't think is important...

Look, I can't do it. Okay?

Got it.
You can joke about the homeless

but you can't devote a single second
of your precious time

for one of them who was murdered.

It's fabulous.

Swinson? Tahmaseb?

Tate-Duncan?

Has anyone seen Adrianna?

Navid, you know where she is?

I think she's
at a doctor's appointment.

Okay.

Hey.

Sweetie, come sit down
over here with me.

There's something
we need to talk about.

I have to tell you something.

Something that's gonna upset you.

What is it, Jen? You're scaring me.

The thing is, Naomi,

- I'm married.
- What?

It was all quite impulsive, really.

We met last year
and two months later we were married.

His name's Olivier. He's French.

Why didn't you tell me?

Because...

Because right after we were married

I walked in on Olivier
in bed with another woman.

- And I left him.
- Oh, my God.

- There's more.
- What more?

When I told you my money
was tied up in Europe

that wasn't exactly true.

The truth is

that I spent it all before I met Olivier.

And now I'm broke.

I've been paying for everything.

The rent, your clothes, your car

your twice-weekly appointments
at the FacePlace.

What were you planning to do,
live off me forever, Jen?

No, of course not.

And I have every intention
of paying you back.

I just needed to get out of Europe
and clear my head

and figure out what to do.

There's only one answer.

I'm going back to Olivier.

- What?
- I can't live off you anymore.

I just can't. It won't be so bad.

Olivier wants me back.

And I think
I can live with an open marriage.

In an open marriage?

Jen? What are you,
out of your mind? No.

I have too much pride anyway.

Maybe it'll be good for me
in some sort of spiritual sense.

And plus when I'm back with Olivier

I will pay you back right away.
You'll have your trust fund back.

I'm not worried
about my stupid trust fund.

I'm worried about you.

Look... Look at me. You.

Okay? You're not going back
to some loveless marriage

with some loser who'll
cheat on you like Dad did with Mom.

No way in hell.

- Maybe if I just go back with Olivier...
- Over my dead body.

Stop it.

I don't want to hear
another word about it.

I didn't know Joe myself,

but I've had a chance now
to talk to some of his teachers

and fellow students who knew him
when he was here at West Bev.

And this is what I've discovered.

Joe loved Earth science.

He petitioned the school
to buy an electron microscope.

His sophomore year he played
varsity soccer for three years.

Joe also participated
in two school plays.

He was Artie in
The House of Blue Leaves

and he was the narrator in
Our Town.

Joe Herman was
a West Bev student like all of you.

Like I was. He was one of us.

Look, I'm getting you to
Geoffrey's before sunset.

I don't care how many tickets I get.

- You hungry?
- No, I'm starving.

And excited about eating
at Geoffrey's.

Yeah, there's nothing like a little
herb-crusted salmon by the sea.

You know, I got to tell you something,
Dixon.

I'm not really used to this whole
fancy cars, fancy dinners thing.

Honestly, I have like
$100,000 in student loans.

I have a roommate.

And most nights
when I'm not with you

I eat ramen noodles.

- Sasha...
- No, I know, I know, I know.

I probably shouldn't be telling you this
if L.A. Is all about appearances.

But I don't know.

When I'm with you it's like,
I feel like I can be real.

You know, I feel like
I can tell you anything.

- Hey, Sasha.
- Yeah?

All right, what were you like
when you were younger?

- When I was younger?
- Yeah, like, high school.

Man, that was a long time ago.

I guess like every other
high school kid, dumb as dirt.

Thought I knew everything.
Really knew nothing.

I mean, but you know, there are some
high school kids that are mature, right?

Yeah, yeah, I'm sure
they think they are.

I mean, but, come on,
how mature can they really be?

They haven't done anything.

I mean, come on, think about how
different you are since you graduated.

Worlds away, right?

Yeah, I guess you're right.

And so I said to Warren Beatty:

"Back off, man.
I'm hitting on this girl."

Yes, I did.

Anyone care for an hors d'oeuvre?

- Oh, yeah, sure.
- Awesome.

- These look great.
- These are wonderful.

- Thanks, man.
- Enjoy yourself.

I can't believe you talked to that guy.

Don't you know he's just a waiter?

All right, look, I was a jerk earlier.

I told a few jokes that were...

Well, they were in bad taste
and I'm sorry about it.

- Are we cool now?
- It depends.

- Will you do the interview?
- I can't.

Right, because even though
you're sorry,

you're still a huge snob
with a huge ego

who thinks his time
is too precious to spend

five minutes talking about someone
who's just a homeless guy.

That's not the reason.

- Then why can't you do it?
- Because I'm not allowed to, okay?

There's an ongoing investigation
and I'm a part of it.

I really screwed up
by talking to Navid before.

I could have ruined
the entire investigation.

I can talk to the police, and that's it.

But not to you.
Because you know what?

You're not a cop.
You're not a detective.

You're just a high school student.

Awkward.

So you actually went
to your audition?

Well, yeah.

I wanted to keep my options open.

What, are you disappointed in me?

I'm not going to deny
I am disappointed.

Don't you remember all the things
that we went through last year?

Okay, well, believe it or not,
I didn't do blow in the bathroom.

- Ade, this isn't a joke.
- Okay, it's not a joke to me either.

I'm just trying to keep things light.

Okay, it was one audition. One.

I just wish you would understand
what this means to me.

Acting makes me feel...

Yeah, and I wish for once that you'd
understand how you make me feel.

This involves me too right?

I mean, your actions
have ramifications.

I've been there through everything.
Through the rehab, the pregnancy...

What are you trying to do?

- Are you trying to make me feel guilty?
- No, Ade.

- I'm just trying to help you.
- Maybe I don't need your help.

I got to take this.

Hello?

Okay.

Okay.

Thank you. Yeah.

Bye.

It was my agent.

- I got the part.
- Well, congratulations.

Well, I'm glad you came, Annie.

Yeah, it was really sweet. Here.

So sad, huh? Poor man just
lost his way, fell through the cracks.

Yeah, if you guys don't need me for
anything, I'm just gonna head home.

I'm pretty exhausted.

- Yeah, honey, go ahead.
- Yeah, we'll be home soon.

Okay, Navid, if I use my AAA
they'll ask to see my license, right?

And there it'll be, me, Dixon Wilson,
17 years old driving your father's car.

Change the tire.

I don't know how to change
a tire on that spaceship.

I don't have time
to deal with this now.

Believe it or not,
I actually have my own life.

- Navid?
- Yeah, I'll talk to you later.

Hey, Dixon?

You don't got to worry about that.
I know how to change a tire...

What the hell is this?

Why do you have a trunk
full of porn?

What kind of pervert are you?

You have a trunk full of porn.

What were you gonna do,
go home and watch 100 movies?

- Sasha, no...
- Then why you have it?

- You're clearly a pervert.
- I'm not.

Who else has all this?

People who are in the business.

What? You're in the porn business?

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, I am.

But not the perverted part.

More the money part,
which is why I have all of this.

You said you were
in the music business.

Well, yeah, yeah.

I mean, I'm trying to get into it.

But porn is how I make my money.

I'm trying to get out of it
because obviously I'm pretty ashamed

to even be associated
with the industry.

Look, I was really,
really embarrassed.

But I shouldn't have lied.

So I'm really sorry.

I feel like I don't even know you.

- What else have you lied about?
- Nothing. Nothing.

Nothing else, I swear.

Everything else you know.

You promise, no more lies?

No more lies.

Annie?

I just wanted to say thanks for
coming to my uncle's memorial thing.

It was really cool of you.

Yeah, sure.

- What you up to now?
- Oh, I'm just headed home.

- I've got a bunch of homework, so...
- Homework?

The studious type?

Look, blow it off.

- What?
- Blow off your homework.

Come take a ride with me.

I can't, I should go.

Well, that's all right.

See you around?

Okay. Bye.

I guess I just...

I needed to talk to someone,
that's all.

- What?
- About my uncle.

It's finally I think hitting me.

That he died, that he's gone.

I didn't know him
the past couple years

but when I was a kid

we used to hang out all the time.

I remember he used to take me
to the movies

when it was like 2 on Sundays.

Sometimes we'd see
three-, four in a row.

He must have
liked something about the peace,

you know, of a dark theater.

But for me it was just,
I live for those days.

I don't know,
I guess today just brought stuff up.

But get on home,
do your homework.

I'll be fine. I'll see you.

Jasper, wait.

I'll go for a ride with you.

You will?

Cool. Come on.

Hey, have you seen Teddy?
I have to apologize to him.

I haven't seen him.

Everything okay, Navid?

Yeah, everything's fine.
Just fantastic.

- Did you tell Naomi the truth?
- Yes, I did, actually.

I told her that I'm married
and that I'm broke.

I really want to thank you, Liam,
for forcing my hand.

I feel so much better now
that Naomi knows everything.

In fact, I feel free as a bird.

- But, I mean, did...
- Easy does it.

Let me know
if you're gonna have a fit

so I can look for a broomstick
to put in your mouth.

Now why don't you run along

and look for some other girl
to obsess over?

Naomi will never believe
that we slept together.

Hey, hey, you all right?

All right is relative. Right?

What's wrong?

Okay.

So I went on that audition
I was telling you about.

- Yeah.
- I got the part.

Ade, that's great.

- Is it?
- What's the problem?

I don't know.

I don't know what I should do.

You know, because I love acting.

- I love it.
- I know.

But maybe it is bad for me.

You know, I don't know
if I'm ready for that drama.

What if I screw everything up again?

I'm scared.

Come here.

We shouldn't have done that.

I gotta go.

You know, those stars up there,
they might not even exist.

I mean, it takes so long
for the light to travel here

that the stars themselves,
they could be gone now.

You know?

It's just weird.

But they're like a message
from back in time.

Yeah. I'm not sure
I even know what that means.

Just that...

The universe is bigger than
we can imagine, you know?

I guess it just kind of puts things
in perspective.

All the stuff
that we think it's so important,

you know, in reality it's not.

It's nothing.

Man, I wish that were true.

It is.

Our planet, never mind our species,
you and me, we're nothing.

We're like a blip in time.

You know,
that's what my uncle was.

You know,
he was alive and now he's dead.

But maybe it's not that big of a deal.

You know,
in the scheme of the universe?

Do you really think that's true?

What will be will be, you know?

Respond to the universe's game.

Can't worry.

Just have to lie back
and enjoy the ride.

Yeah.

174 Walden.

- It's a nice house.
- Yeah.

Pretty traditional.

I mean, not what you'd expect
from a porn king.

He's not a porn king.

And I told you he's getting out of it.

He needed to make some money
to pay off some debt.

But porn?
I mean, that doesn't bother you at all?

I swear, if it were any other guy,

then yeah, it probably
would be a deal breaker.

But Dixon is special.

He's sweet and understanding and...

We have so much in common.

Oh, yes, the orange sherbet
and Roy Campanella

and you even have
the same cell phone

which is why you mixed them up.

How adorable.

I thought Dixon drove
a Lamborghini.

Well, he probably just has
a few different cars.

Who is that white woman and why
is she hugging your boyfriend?

- Thanks for coming over.
- Yeah.

I wanted to tell you this in person.

Tell me what?

I turned down the part.

And my agent's dropping me.
But it's fine.

You know, I'm totally...

I'm totally taking the year off.

We've been through so much.

I just... I don't want to any more
temptations right now.

I love you so much, Ade.

I'm so in love with you.

So my mom is working late tonight.

We have the whole place
to ourselves.

I think we've waited long enough,
don't you think?

For?

- Yeah.
- Yeah?

Yeah.

Champagne for no reason.

Now this is the kind of life
I always thought I'd live.

Who says that there's no reason?

- It's a Tuesday.
- Yes.

Champagne Tuesday
at the Clark residence.

So how was your day?

Hideous.

High school kids are so annoying.

Naomi driving you up a wall?

Something like that. Yeah.

Naomi will never believe
that we slept together.