90210 (2008–2013): Season 2, Episode 20 - Meet the Parent - full transcript

Hey, what's wrong?

- My life, it's over.
- I'm sure you did fine on the SATs.

Jen is back.

She's back in L. A?

You know what?
She's not our problem.

Everything is gonna be okay.

But it's not.
She bought the beach club.

She's taken my beach club
away from me.

So we hang out somewhere else.

A man can only eat
so many Yucatan chicken wraps.

No, but I love it there. They come
around and mist me while I'm tanning.



Jen's trying to ruin my life again.

Stay out of her way. Don't engage.

Don't go anywhere near her.
I'll mist you.

You'll mist me?

Sure. I'll mist you.

Come on.

Hey.

Is that a portrait of me?

It's abstract, Teddy.

I'm sorry about what happened
with my dad. I really am.

I was completely humiliated.

I should have told him about you.
But the thing is, my dad, he's tricky.

He's got a big personality
and he can be kind of judgmental.

- And you don't think he'll like me?
- No.



No, I do. I mean, he will.
I really want him to like you.

And this is new to me, you know.
I haven't done this.

I haven't known a girl
that mattered enough to me

to introduce to my father
and I want to do it right.

So come over and have dinner
with me and my dad?

And break bread with your kind
of judgmental mega-movie star dad?

Okay, she said,
immediately regretting it.

Thank you, he says,
getting ready to kiss her.

Yeah, three dimes.

No, I was thinking more like 18.

Come on up, have a look for yourself.
We'll settle on something fair.

I'm staying
at the Pacific Waves Motor Hotel.

Every bit as luxurious as it sounds.
Yeah, two hours. Okay.

So?

So, my boy,
I've got a broker in Redondo

who thinks
they may only be worth $15,000.

This is...
This is really gonna happen, huh?

I mean, the tackle shop,
you and me living together.

Thanks to you.

Dad, what do you say we celebrate?

- Rent a boat or do some fishing.
- Yeah, sounds good.

Yeah.
Let me take care of my business

and we'll hit the high seas.

Is it okay if I make a call?

That's cool, Grizz.
Take five then we'll get busy.

All right, thanks.

- Hi.
- Hey.

Take five? That's, like,
actual recording studio talk.

I am so excited.

Well, I'm excited you're excited,
sweetie.

Speaking of exciting.
What would you think

about maybe recording a duet
with Javier?

- It was the label's idea but I thought...
- Javier?

As in Javier? Javier?

Javier, Javier, Javier.

Okay, that's insane.
I am, like, his biggest fan ever.

I have his Christmas album.
I have his kids' album.

Anyway, slight snag.

Javier's about ready to go tour.
This needs to happen fast.

I can be anywhere, anytime.

Scheduling not the snag.

Check this out.

Right?
I'm out to four different writers

- praying for something better.
- I could write it.

I mean I'd like to try.

Why not? If you have something
ready by Wednesday, we'll listen to it.

Okay. Yeah, cool.

- Yeah, Pacific Waves.
- Oh, yeah, hi. Finn Court, please.

He's not here.

- Excuse me?
- Checked out about an hour ago.

Hi.

Hello?

Excuse me? What are you doing?

Why are you waving your
tape measure in front of my house?

My house.

We need to take a look at the gutters
on the other side.

Sure.

Well, I pouted a little
and Olivier bought it for me.

Well, for weekends.
A sort of country house.

You can't do this.

I already have.

I live here, Jen.

For 29 more days,
as stipulated by California law.

But if the construction
is gonna bother you,

feel free to vacate sooner.

My God, you must have ESP.
I was about to call you.

- I have to talk to you.
- Yeah, I have to talk to you too.

Some messed up stuff
just went down with my dad.

Well, did he evict you?

Did he give you 29 days to get out?

Jen just bought my house, Liam,
the one I live in.

- What?
- Now I'm gonna kill her.

No, no, you can't engage with her,
Naomi.

She's like a rattlesnake.
You can't go poking her with a stick.

You find a new place to live.

Oh, really? Really? How?

I don't know.
We'll find you something.

Just promise me
that you'll stay away from her, okay?

- She's toxic.
- Okay.

So I gave my dad these coins, right?
And...

I'm gonna go eat some ice cream,
calm myself down.

I'll call you back, babe.

What? Javier Luna?
That's seriously amazing.

I know. Double amazing.
Get this. Laurel, my producer?

- Yeah?
- Letting me try to write the song.

- What?
- I could be singer-songwriter.

Wow, I'm so proud of you.
Come here.

I've got to go to the Blaze.
We'll talk more. I'll see you later?

- Yeah. See you.
- Bye.

Well, well, well, the plot thickens.

What is that supposed to mean?

Why are you wiggling
your eyebrows?

He is my friend.

He's got a girlfriend.

Okay, don't kill me.
Do you wish he didn't?

Okay, look, Navid will always
be very special to me.

But he's with Lila now and he's happy,
so I respect that.

And he totally deserves to be happy
after everything I put him through, so...

Okay, just had to ask.
Okay, I got a question for you.

Eyebrow-wiggling-type question?

Nope. What's Teddy's dad like?

I have to go over there tomorrow night,
and I just wanna know what I'm in for.

You're meeting Spence?

Why you say it like it that?
Is he scary?

He's just really intense.
He either loves people or hates people.

And when he hates people...
Oh, boy.

- Wait, are you nervous?
- Now I am.

- Hey, what's up?
- Not much.

Are you pissed at me?

No, Dix,
I'm not pissed at you, okay?

I'm just not really into this
whole getting-blown-off thing.

But I'm not. I'm not blowing you off.

I just really appreciate
direct communication, okay?

So if you don't like me
or you don't like blondes

or you don't like the way I chew

- or whatever...
- Stop. You're getting the wrong idea.

All I wanna do is hang out with you,
but you know I'm grounded.

So call me when you can, I guess.

- Wait.
- What?

It doesn't mean that you can't come
to my house, right?

- I mean, am I allowed to?
- I don't know.

But what I do know
is my parents are going out tonight.

And I can't wait any longer
to hang out with you.

- All right.
- All right?

- Yeah, all right.
- All right.

No more wraps or mozzarella sticks.
I wanna class this place up, Tio.

I want more European flair.

Oh, how does a coq au vin
chopped salad grab you?

Good. We have a good selection
now of salads...

Hold that thought, Tio.

You know? To be continued.

- What do you want?
- What, other than world peace?

Oh, my God.

You can have any house
in Beverly Hills

and you had to have mine.

- Something doesn't smell right.
- Well...

I think that's probably
Tio's aftershave.

You want something, Jen.

Yes, as a matter of fact,
I do want something.

Look, while I was in France,
Olivier and I, we fell back in love.

Well, it took time, but I knew I had
to forgive him for his indiscretions

and learn to trust him again.

And we are more in love than ever.

Waiter, barf bag.

That's why I can't allow you to tell him
what happened last year.

He could never handle the thought
of me with another man.

- He's very jealous.
- Oh, you don't want me to tell him

- what a big tramp you were?
- Exactly.

You know what?
Do whatever you want.

I owe you a very big apology.

I have done some terrible things
to you.

And I am really truly very sorry.

You can have the house.

I'll give it to you.

But what I would really like
is another chance with you.

- Really?
- You're the only sister I've got.

Please give me another chance.

And I would love for you
to get to know Olivier.

Join us for dinner tomorrow night.

Please.

Guess who.

- Hillary Clinton?
- Close.

- Tila Tequila?
- Closer.

- Lila, is that you?
- Hi.

Hey.

All right, so I have a story idea.

Everyone's talking
about Adrianna and Javier.

We should do a piece.

Well, I thought you were sensitive
about the Ade thing.

I was.

I mean, my chest basically turned to
concrete at the mention of her name.

I don't know. Maybe it's because
we've been hanging out so much

or maybe
it's because we've gotten closer.

But recently, no concrete.

- That's cool.
- That is cool.

Hey. Hey, sorry.

I tried knocking but...

Hey, Liam?

Hello? I'm not doing
this Matthews project by myself.

I barely know who Vivaldi is,
I mean...

Are you okay?

- Where did you get the boat?
- I built it.

You built a boat?

That's what I do when I wanna blow off
some steam, okay?

Okay.

So, what got you all steamed up?

You can talk to me.
I mean, come on.

You were there when I found out

my parents were all messed up,
so you can definitely trust me.

My dad meant a lot to me
when I was a kid.

And we were, like, really close
and we went sailing, you know.

Sailing was our thing.

Anyway, he hasn't been around
for a while and just recently,

out of the blue, he showed up.

And like an idiot, I got all excited
thinking he was gonna stay.

But as soon as he got what he wanted,
he took off.

And...

Just... Whatever, so...

Hey, I haven't really told anybody
about my dad, so if you...

What about Naomi?

Yeah. Well, no.

Well, you should tell her.

I mean, she is your girlfriend.

Yeah.

Jack neat and let me have one of
those local beers you're always touting.

- Yeah, just a ginger ale for me.
- You got it.

I'm getting a little old for vomiting
and hangovers, don't you think?

No. You're never too old
for vomiting and hangovers.

Says you.

- Thank you.
- It's a work thing.

Cross your fingers they're not
dragging me back to the studio.

Yeah?

Ryan?

Jen.

- Hi.
- Hello, darling.

Can I say two words to you?
Signature umbrellas.

- That's what this place needs.
- That's a good idea.

This is Ryan Matthews,
Naomi's teacher.

Ryan, this is Olivier, my husband.

An educator.
It's a pleasure to meet you.

- Drinks on the house.
- Oh, that's okay...

It's no skin off my face.
We own the beach club.

Wow,
now that's a great thing to own.

- It's not the Dodgers, but...
- Darling, we should get to our table.

Ryan, it was lovely to see you.

- Indeed it was. Great meeting you.
- Pleasure was mine.

Can I get a little whiskey
in the ginger ale?

- And make it a double.
- Sure.

Oh, hey, watch the carbon footprint.

I can't write.

I can't. I have lost my ability
to string words together.

This was it. This is my big chance.
I'm totally blowing it.

You've written songs before.

Not like this.
I don't know what's happening.

Everything I write is terrible.
The more I write the terribler it gets.

Terribler. Listen to me.
I totally can't even talk.

No. Let me see.

You're probably just being hard
on yourself.

Oh, my God, I'm ruined.

No, you're not, just...
You gotta get out of your head.

How do I do that?
By banging it against the wall?

- I already tried that.
- I'll figure something out.

I'm sorry, it was supposed to be
just us but my dad invited a few friends.

My half sister Kate might be here.
You'd like Kate. She's really nice.

Like, obsessed with horses,
but really nice.

- Yeah?
- Arthur, if you keep asking questions

about this contract,
I'm gonna throw you on the grill.

Fine. But if the deal doesn't close,
don't call me crying.

- I'll call you screaming.
- Whatever.

- Yeah, well...
- Hey, Dad, you...

Listen, don't bill me
for this hour either, Arthur.

- Yeah, yeah.
- Dad, this is Silver from the match.

Hi, Silver. What an unusual name.

- Oh, actually, it's...
- I hope you're hungry.

Take a look at this piece of meat.
Is this not gorgeous?

Come on, Peter Luger.

Actually, Silver's a vegetarian.

Does she eat chicken?

- No, not so much.
- No?

Well, let's see. Maybe I've got
a veggie burger with your name on it.

Silver. Put it right there.

- That's perfect.
- Teddy says you don't play tennis.

Oh, no, sadly I don't.

- But l...
- Silver's really into the Blaze.

What is that?
Is that a junior arsonist club?

No, it's like a magazine.

I mean, it's like a...
It's like a newspaper.

- But actually, it's more of...
- Silver's a journalist.

Yeah? Well, in my field,
I've met hundreds of journalists

and I never liked one of them.

Dr. Fun to the rescue.

I don't see how playing skee ball
is gonna get the song written.

Trust me. If you're not inspired
and out of your head in one hour,

I will release you from my clutches.
Deal?

- Deal.
- All right.

Dr. Fun? You see that homeless man
in the white shirt?

- Yeah.
- I think that's Mr. Matthews.

- No.
- Yeah.

Mr. Matthews?

Oh, hey.

Oh, I got into a little tussle with this
chili dog and I have to admit defeat.

Because just... Look at it.
It's a worthy adversary.

- Hey, Mr. Matthews, you cool?
- Yeah.

Why, don't I look cool?
Hanging on the trash can?

Are you sure you're okay,
Mr. Matthews?

Guys, please, this Mr. Matthews,
it's so formal.

You know. We're outside of school,
try something like Mr. Ryan Matthews.

Well, I'm gonna hit the road.
Papers to grade.

You're both getting A's.

- Oh, wait, you calling a taxi?
- Taxi.

Taxi Driver. Great movie.

- You talking to me?
- What?

- You talking to me?
- No.

No, from the thing.

- The movie.
- Right.

- You having an okay time?
- Yeah.

Sorry I'm so tongue-tied. I feel like
I'm making a horrible first impression.

- You're doing great.
- Hey, Teddy.

- Oh, hey.
- Sorry, I'm late.

Hey, you're the horse lover.

It's Kate, right? Teddy's sister?

Actually, Heidi here
is my dad's girlfriend.

Yeah, we met on set.

That's right. And in a very good
movie too. Into Arabia.

- Did you ever see that film, Silver?
- Yes, I did.

- Great film, huh?
- Great film.

- Great film.
- Great film.

- Great. We loved it.
- Yeah.

- You didn't like it?
- No.

No, no, it...
I mean, it's kind of just a diff...

Actually, no, I didn't like it.
It employed a bunch of played-out,

fear-mongering stereotypes
of Arab people.

The female characters, they were
offensively sexist and idiotic and...

I mean, frankly,
it was a waste of your talent.

Well, to tell you the truth,
I don't think you're wrong.

And that woman,
that astrophysicist character...

What's she doing in Lebanon?
I don't remember.

Rocking a gold lam? bikini,
as I recall.

- Exactly. That's exactly right.
- It's true.

Funny girl.

Get me off this ride before I get all
Mr. Ryan Matthews on that trash can.

Yeah, funnel cake
wasn't the wisest move.

- We should go.
- No.

No, this was really nice of you,
but honestly, it's pointless.

I'm so stupid for thinking
I could actually write a real song.

No, hey, would you just cut it out?

I won't listen to you
beat yourself up.

I have three minutes.
And I say we hit the bumper cars.

No, no bumper cars, okay?

- Just let me go, please.
- No.

- What? Why?
- Because, Ade, you can do this.

I know you can.

I believe in you.

I see you like this,
all depressed and down on yourself,

it hurts.

It's like the worst feeling
in the world.

Seeing you happy,
that means everything to me.

Navid.

- I gotta take this.
- Yeah.

Lila, hey.

No, I had a lot of work at the Blaze.

I'm just hanging out at the pier.

Okay, I'll meet you at the beach club.

- Sorry about that.
- It's fine.

- So where were we?
- Leaving.

Your plan actually worked, Dr. Fun.

I'm inspired.
I really wanna go home and write.

Let's hit the road.

All right.

Oh, wait,
shall we get some dessert?

I don't know.

Are you trying to prolong dinner?

Sadly, I do not see your sister coming,
Jennifer.

- I mean...
- No, no, no, she'll be here.

She's just late. Trust me.

I know my sister,
and I know she'll come.

Well, I could try the mango sorbet.

Okay.

- Oh, here she is.
- You must be Naomi.

- I'm Olivier, your brother-in-law.
- Oh, please don't kiss me.

And sit back down.
I'm not gonna be here that long.

I think there are a few things
you deserve to know about my sister.

I'm sure Jen probably told you
she spent last year pining for you.

The truth is she was pretty much
slutting it up with any semi-rich guy

- who'd look halfway in her direction.
- Naomi?

- What?
- Oh, yeah.

And you might find this interesting.
She also slept with my boyfriend.

He was, what, 16 at the time?

This... Is this true?

Lt... No, of course it's not true.

You disgust me.

- No, Olivier.
- No.

Au revoir,

as they say in French.

So I'm gonna head back home
and pack.

Bye.

- Ladies first.
- Thank you.

Dixon, this is unreal.

Well... And I thought I went
a little overboard

but I just hope you're not wearing
anything flammable.

No way.
Are these Koji short rib tacos?

Yeah, they are. I mean,
I know they're your favorite.

I've been chasing the truck all day
on Twitter.

I made it to Abbot Kinney and back.

I had to go to a different taco truck
for the Cokes.

And you got Mexican Cokes.

Of course.

Dixon, you...

Dude, what was that?

My parents.

Mom? Dad?

Hey, buddy, Mom forgot her wallet.

What would you like me to say,
huh?

That mom forgot the paper with the
marriage counselor's address on it?

No, I just feel like
you think everything is my fault.

- Like this whole thing is my fault.
- You know, l...

You know what?
Save it for Dr. Silva.

What's going on in here?

You know, I just... I forgot my wallet.

- What is going on?
- Nothing.

- Why?
- You gotta be kidding me, right?

Nothing? Really?

I'm not an idiot, you guys.

- Dixon?
- Annie?

- I'll be right back.
- Dixon?

I have to talk to you right now.

- Right now isn't the greatest time.
- Annie.

Annie, talk to us.

Talk to you?

Fine. I know that you two
have been fighting.

And I know it's because Mom
kissed some guy.

- Annie...
- What?

Look.

Mom and I have been having
some problems, that's true.

We didn't want to say anything
to you guys until we understood

what was going on ourselves.

We've been seeing a counselor.

A marriage counselor?

Yes.

We don't have dinner plans tonight.
We have a session.

Wait, so Mom kissed who?

That's not important,
and it's not all Mom's fault.

The problems are mutual.

But we don't want you two
to worry about it.

Okay, so then there's nothing
to worry about.

You know you promised
that everything was gonna be okay.

Oh, my God.

Look, we love you guys
and we're doing the best that we can.

We need to get to our appointment.

Guys, this is us trying.

We'll talk about it later, okay?

I feel like I'm gonna throw up.

I mean, I'm confused.

What are we supposed to feel
about this now?

What are we gonna do?

Can we talk about this later?

What?

Fine. Whatever.

Hey.

Sorry about that.
My family's a little crazy, I guess.

You okay?

Yeah, yeah. I'm sorry about tha...
I don't even know what that was.

Okay, Dixon, just stop apologizing.

- I mean, that was...
- Messed up.

Yeah. Yeah.

Liam.

To the victor go the spoils.

- Can I pour you a glass?
- No, I'm good.

What's going on?

The dragon is slain.

Jen? I thought you said
you were gonna stay away from her.

I know. But Jen is a rattlesnake.
You said so yourself.

And you don't let a rattlesnake
slither around screwing up your life.

You chop off its ugly head.

You should have seen her face

when I told Olivier about how
she's been whoring around town.

It looked like a pen exploded
onto her Kelly bag.

That's good. Naomi, something's
been going on with me and l...

Oh, my God. What if Olivier's
so pissed at her that he locks her out

and she has to stay in a cabana
at the beach club or something.

Can you imagine?

Hey. How was the pier?

It was okay.

I went with Ade.

Navid, it's totally cool.

Lila, there's something
that I have to tell you.

I think you are so amazing.

You're brilliant and so much fun.

Those sound like bad compliments.

I realized tonight
that I still feel something for Ade.

I don't even know what it means
or what I'm even gonna do about it.

But I know it's not fair to you
and I think we should break up.

Wow, okay.

I really am sorry, Lila.

Annie, what's up?

I'm sorry.
I don't know why I'm here.

But I'm here
and I had a really rough night.

And I needed
to blow off some steam.

- Okay.
- Can I help?

Do the stern.

Actually, the other end.

It's just ironic.

All these years, l...

I've been just trying to relax,
you know?

Just trying to believe
that life can be stable.

But just because my family
was always falling apart

when I was little doesn't mean
it's gonna fall apart now, right?

Then when I finally relax,

it falls apart.

Damn, I must have been rambling.

It's been like an hour. I feel like I owe
you a hundred bucks or something.

Give me a break, Dixon. You can't get
good therapy for hundred bucks.

But, Dixon,

you have nothing to apologize for.

I'm actually really honestly flattered
that you feel like you can talk to me.

Well, you're just easy to talk to.

And look, I know you told me
not to apologize,

but this has got to be
our worst date yet.

I don't think so.

I mean, dates are for getting
to know each other, right?

And I am getting to know you.

And I'm liking what I'm knowing.

- Hey, Dad.
- Hey.

Silver's a charming girl.

And she rides a motorcycle.
How cool is that?

Well, a Vespa,

but, yeah, she is cool.
I'm glad you think she's cool.

You know you're my favorite,
don't you?

I'm not supposed to say that,
but it's true.

Thanks, Dad.

I'm so proud of you. I know
you can take this tennis all the way

if you just started taking it
a little more seriously.

Dad, I'm at practice
like ten times a week.

Right. And now you're at a point
where you have to make a decision.

You're gonna go pro

or you're gonna give out lessons
at The Beach Club?

I wanna be Federer.
You know that. That's all I want.

Then it's settled.
No more distractions.

No more girlfriends.

Break up with her, Teddy.

- Hey, superstar.
- Hey.

What do you say to a matinee
before your match tonight?

A movie? You're kidding, right?

- Yes.
- Yeah,

and I'll just bring a tub of popcorn
to my match.

Look, I don't just show up, Silver.
I've gotta warm up,

I've gotta talk to my coach,
I've gotta mentally prepare.

I have to focus.

Okay. I'm sorry,
I didn't realize how involved...

Look, I've gotta get to class.

Rise and shine, pet.

What are you doing here?

Oh, I'm just here to thank you
for making me 10 million euro richer.

That's approximately 16 million U.S.

Croissant?

What are you talking about?

Last night, your performance
was truly magnificent.

And absolutely predictable.

Olivier was so distraught,
he went running straight

into the, shall we say arms,
of another woman.

Which is exactly what he's done

every other time he's gotten jealous
in the past.

You wanted him to cheat on you.

When we got back together, we added
a fidelity clause to our prenup.

A few choice snaps
from my PI and voila.

I'm 16 mil richer.

- You're disturbed.
- Now, now. Let's not get nasty.

You know, you really should be
a little nicer to me now

- that I'll be handling your finances.
- What?

Well, I felt obliged to tell daddy
how you've been blowing

through your trust fund.

The poor guy, he started panicking.

Luckily, I offered to help.

This is not happening.
This is a nightmare.

Naomi, aren't you hungry?

You beat him in straight sets.
I told you all you gotta do is focus.

- Yup.
- Give me this thing.

- Put it in the trophy room.
- Focus.

Wimbledon, here we come.

- Hey, Silver.
- Hey.

- Let me get this for you.
- Thanks.

I was actually just on my way over
to your place.

I apologize. It was thoughtless...

No, no. I'm the one
who should apologize to you.

I was stressed. I shouldn't have
taken it out on you. Sorry.

So we're even?

- Even.
- How was your match?

- I won in straight sets.
- That's good.

I'm not exactly a tennis buff
but winning is winning, right?

Yeah.

Except no. I thought winning today
would make me happy.

But when I won
and I didn't have you,

I realized it doesn't mean anything
if you're not there.

Because...

- Because...
- Because we're falling in love?

Because I am in love.

Sparks fly like electric shock
Pushing through my veins

When we touch
Like I never wanna stop

- Do you feel that way?
- Her eyes

When they meet with mine
Is she aware?

That I wanna hold her tight
Because there's something there

- It's gone
- It's passed

We both know
It's never coming back

- That's done, that's over
- That's over

Does he still love me?

Do I still love her?

One more time
Can we give it just one more try?

To love and be together
Like the first time

- No love, can't love, no love
- No love, can't love, no love

You can't love

No back it up

Not this time

- Can we love to love, can we love?
- Can we love to love, can we love?

True love
Can't love you like the first time

Please love me like the first

First time

- She killed it.
- That was hot.

You killed it, sweetie.

- Let's take five.
- Thank you.

Damn,
you wrote this song in two days?

This single is gonna be huge.

It's got a great hook.

Did you write it for your boyfriend?

No, I don't have a boyfriend.

- Hi.
- Hey.

- I'm here to see Adrianna.
- Oh, she's inside.

Cute flowers.

A beautiful girl like you
doesn't have a boyfriend?

No, I don't.

There's no one, no special guy.
No one.

I'm glad.