90210 (2008–2013): Season 1, Episode 1 - We're Not in Kansas Anymore - full transcript

The Wilson family arrives in Beverly Hills, after Harrison "Harry" Wilson takes a job as the principal at West Beverly High School, while his children, Annie and Dixon, attend the school ...

This sucks.

Dixon, how about a new phrase,
like "this bites," or "this blows"?

Because you've been saying
"this sucks" for the last 1,500 miles.

- Because it sucks.
- Come on, this is gonna be fun.

We got the weather.
We got the palm trees with the--

- More palm trees.
- More palm trees.

- You know, this is gonna be fun.
- Sucks. Bites. Blows.

Guys, this is where we are, okay?
Grandma needs us.

She's getting older.

It's family first.

Besides, your mother and I
have given up a lot for this move too.

Really? Have you given up your
boyfriend and lead in the school play?

As a matter of fact, I have.
He's heartbroken about it and so am I.

You're such a dork.

Pop, just don't talk to us
during school hours, all right?

Yeah, Mr. Principal.

Dad, I still can't believe you grew up
in this house.

I can't believe you ever left.

Well, I can.

The ship has landed.

You can see Britney's house
from here.

You have been amazing,
with this whole change.

Well, why wouldn't I be?
I've lived in Kansas my entire life.

I don't try something new now, when?
Besides, they still get married in L.A.

- Yeah.
- Plenty of weddings for me to shoot.

Maybe you can shoot mine
when I get my trophy wife.

Dude, I am your trophy wife.


- Dixon.
- Grandma.

I've seen one of her old movies
on Showtime the other night.

- She's got a lot of movies on TV.
- She was naked. Full frontal.

It's not right.


Race you to the pool.


- Hello, dear.
- Mom.

You got me. Iced tea before noon.

Okay, maybe
a little Long Island Iced Tea.

- Somebody get Betty Ford on the line.
- I'm trying to help.

You wanna help?
Go yell at the gardener

for parking his crap wagon
in my driveway.

Actually, that's our crap wagon,

Well, park it around the corner
so the neighbors won't notice.

This is gonna suck.

Aren't you a little freaked out
starting over at a new school

and like a week late?

What are you worried about?

You already got, like,
a boyfriend out here.

That Ethan dude.
That you made out with

a couple summers ago
when you was here with Grandma.

Okay. One, we did not make out.
It was a kiss.

And he kissed me.

Yeah, I bet when he kissed you,
you were all, "Ethan."

Shut up.

We were not.

Ethan's a really nice guy but I haven't
talked to him in, like, a year.

And I've got Jason now anyway.

But still, it's gonna be a lot easier
out here for you.

Come on, you're a cute girl. Guys are
gonna be throwing themselves at you.

Oh, please.
You had like a million friends.

There, back home.

And they all knew, you know.

About the whole adoption story.

I just don't wanna have to tell my story
over and over and over again.

Then don't.

All they need to know
is that you're my brother.

That's my story.

Oh, my God.

Would you look at this?

It's like the Oscars
and everybody's Scarlett Johansson.

You say that like it's a bad thing.


Oh, my God, there's Ethan.

Do you wanna come say hi?


You go have your reunion.
I'll see you around the halls.


Here's your copy.
Coffee out of frame.

Let me move this mike right here.
There you go.

Excuse me.

Is this Journalism Class?

Yes, it is, Dixon Wilson, newly arrived
from Wichita, Kansas.

Brother of Annie and also the son
of the new principal, Harrison Wilson.

I'm Navid. I covered your story.

I kept the adoption angle out.
Figured that could be its own piece.

- People, they eat that crap up.
- Okay--

Anyway, you can sit right here.
Jeremy's out all week with pinkeye,

so just watch
where you put your hands.

- Okay.
- Hear you're trying for lacrosse team.

I may cover it
but I can't promise any photos.

Just watch out for Ethan Ward.
He's the star player. You'll know him.

He's the one with the spotlight shining
out of his ass.

Guys, keep it down
until after the news.

I'm producing this package.

Hey, Jeremy, you're back early.
That's good.

Good morning, y buenos dias.

I'm Hannah Zuckerman-Vasquez
and this is your Blaze Morning report.

Today's top story, West Beverly
welcomes a new principal.

What is that girl, like 30?

All right, guys, let's give a warm
West Beverly welcome

to our newest student,
Miss Annie Wilson.

Oh, come on,
you can do better than that.

Let's go. Here we go.
Clapping? Yes.


Nice, George. Yet another girl
who's never gonna go out with you.

- Where you from, Annie?
- Wichita, Kansas.

Can anybody tell me the capital
of Kansas?

Nobody knows the capital of Kansas?
Okay, that's great.

All right, who was the little guy
with the one name from Superbad?

- McLovin.
- Yes, amazing.

Everybody knows McLovin.
Nobody has any clue

that Topeka is the capital of Kansas.

Hey, thanks for showing up, Naomi.

So glad you could finally join us.

I was at the doctor.


Yes, that's right, George.

I was at the gynecologist,
who told me

to remind you
to keep your vagina clean.

All right, well, Naomi, why don't you
put that eloquence to work this week?

- This is Annie, she's new here.
- Hi.

We figured you might
show her around.

Sort of like a Beverly buddy.

Will there be anything else,
Mr. Matthews?

Yeah, if you don't turn that paper in
by tomorrow, I'm gonna give you an F.

Look at that hair.

I cannot believe that that is us.

That's quite a look I had going.

I'm the one who used to think that
Flock of Seagulls haircut was cool.

But then I was 10.

Oh, back up, fashion queen.

I have pictures of you
in polka-dot spandex leggings.

See, this is good.

I could never talk to the old principal
like this. He was such a wuss.

He was completely intimidated
by the board,

which you won't be because you know
what Beverly Hills people are like.

Exactly why I moved to Kansas.

But now you're back.

Oh, yes, I am.

And, Miss Guidance Counselor,
I'm hoping that you can enlighten me

on how to get my kids to like me again
after I told them we're moving.

Well, you could start by showing them
that picture.

That will get them laughing.

- You're gonna be a pain in my ass.
- Oh, yeah.

She's def cute, but,
I mean, her clothes?

She's probably poor.
Her dad's a principal.

Naomi, hey.

You so don't have to worry
about the whole Beverly buddy thing.

- I can find my own way around.
- Oh, great.

Yeah, the teacher seemed like
he was punishing you.

Yeah. Thank you. It's just that
he does that to me all the time

and I have my not-so-sweet-16 party
this Friday.

I'm stressed to the max.

And he's being a big bitch

about the fact that I haven't turned
in my book report

on A Tale of Two Cities.

- Oh, I love that book.
- Good one.

I did a paper on it last year.

I'll get it done next week. I've been
telling him. He just doesn't listen.

My mom's gonna take care of it and--

Hi, honey. I was looking all over
for you this morning.


Completely got busted by Matthews.
Where were you?

I just had some lacrosse stuff to do.

Well, I'm sorry.

Ethan, this is Annie,
the new principal's daughter.

Annie, my boyfriend, Ethan.

- Yeah, actually, we know each other.
- Yeah.

- We met two summers ago?
- Our grandmothers are friends.

- Oh, so you hung out?
- Yeah.

- Yeah, just a little.
- Adrianna?

- Not really.
- Come here. This is Annie.

You guys should meet because--
You're into plays, right?

- Yeah.
-You're into plays?

Adrianna's the lead in
Spring Awakening, our musical here.

Oh, my God. Really?

Oh, I'm so jealous.
I love Spring Awakening.

I really wanted to audition
but I moved here too late.

Actually, I had to leave my play
back home.

And what was that?

I'm very good at integral
And differential calculus

I know the scientific names
Of beings that...

It was this new edgy Rent-ish thing.

Anyway, I'm doing scenery
and stuff now.

Oh, well, that seems
like the perfect place for you.

Well, it was a pleasure, Annie.

Yeah. We'll see you around, Annie.
It was-- We'll talk.


They are such an amazing couple.

Are you lost?



Hi. How's your day going?

- Apparently, not as good as yours.
- Yeah, listen. I wanna explain.

You don't need to explain a thing.

No, I feel like I do.

- If you're gonna tell Naomi--
- I'm not gonna tell her.

I'm not gonna tell anybody.

Wow, that's really cool.

Look, I'm not that guy.

What guy?

- Can't get enough of this guy.
- Yeah.

See you around, Annie.

I accidentally grabbed your book.

Yeah, I think I grabbed yours too.

Listen, time is up.

You owe 200,
he needs it by tomorrow.

Well, I don't have that.

But I'll get it.


I'll get it.

What's this?

- A notebook.
- No, this.

A Division Day sticker.

It's impossible.
They have like eight fans total.

Where did you get the sticker,
new kid?

Brandon Flowers put one
of their songs on his celebrity playlist.

And can you get your foot
off my notebook?

Oh, tough girl.


That's exactly how I found them.

- Thank you.
- What--?

- Have some fries.
- Will do. I'm Silver.


Well, you can call me Erin,

- but I'm not gonna respond.
- Okay.

So look, I wasn't planning
on making you feel welcome here,

but I saw the sticker and I thought,
"Well, maybe the principal's daughter

- isn't such a big loser after all."
- Thanks.

- You'll learn to dig me. Trust me.

I need you now. Pronto.

- Come on.
- Hey, Naomi.

Hey, if you need help later turning
those Wheel of Fortune letters,

I can totally carve out some time.

Hey, sis.

What's going on?

I'm saving you. She's out of her mind
and you should not trust her.

She has this website and she makes
messed-up videos of people.

Really? She seemed so nice to me.

Yeah, that's her M.O.

So listen,
Ethan told me how cool you are

and how you're practically like family,

so I decided I wanna invite you
to my birthday party.

My not-so-sweet-16 birthday party.
It's this Friday.

It's going to be the night of your life.

- What do you say?
- Oh, my God. I'd love to.

Of course.
But you're gonna need new clothes,

so we'll go shopping after school. Sit.

I just don't get why this paper
can't wait till next week.

Naomi's got a huge birthday party.
I don't want her all stressed out for it.

Come on, man, it's a birthday party
for a spoiled little princess--

I got it, Mr. Matthews.

Harry, we spent a fortune
on this party.

Surely there's something
you can do for us.

She didn't do the assignment.
What am I missing here?

Just have her write the paper, Charlie.

I'm taking this up to the board
because you're being ridiculous.

Ironic, isn't it, Harry?

If things had happened differently,
we'd be talking about our kid.

A lot going on there, huh?

I would get back to your class
if I were you, Mr. Matthews.

See you around.


Mrs. Clark and I went out for a bit
back in high school.

I'm never gonna learn
to work this machine.

Whatever happened
to regular coffee? Willie?

And you really do that
when you go online?

Ethan loves it.

I do everything to that boy.

I should do more, actually.
He's been a little distant lately.

Hey, listen, thanks so much
for taking me out.

No problem. Hello? I had fun.

I really wish you would have let me
got you that dress.

It looked amazing on you.

I cannot let you buy me an $800 dress.
My dad would--

- Are you kidding me?
- What?

My mom just texted me. I have to write
that paper for Matthews by tomorrow.

How much have you written?

I haven't even started yet.

Oh, my God, I can't do this right now.
This is so not what I need.

I know if I just sat down and started
writing it, that I could get it done.

But thinking about staring
at a blank piece of paper...

What am I gonna do?

Well, I can help. I told you,
I got an A on that paper last year.

So I could give it to you
and you can take some ideas from it.


That would be so awesome.

That way, you can see
what it should look like.

I'll just e-mail it when I get home.

Oh, my God. You are a lifesaver.

Thank you so much.
You're such a good friend.

Come on, man. Keep it going.
Stay on him. There you go.

All right, Wilson,
let's see what you got.

Come on, Dixon.


Looks like principal's kid's
got some game.

There we go. There we go.

Guard him, George. Guard him.
Guard him. Guard him.

Get that ball. What are you doing?

Wichita in the house.

- Yo, man, you got some sick moves.
- Thanks, Ethan.

All right, you made the team.
Why don't you roll with the ones?

George, why don't you drop down
to the twos for a while?

Come on, guys, you can make out
later. Let's keep playing. Let's go.

George, come on.

- Come on, man.
- What?

Yo, hey, come on. Come on.

- Hey, come on.
- Hey.

- Get off. Get off.
- Get off!

- Did you kick his ass?
- Mom.

That's not the first thing you thought of
when you heard he was in a fight?

- Then maybe that's why he lost.
- I didn't lose.

Never worry about being fair.

Just grab onto those jewels
and twist them like a garbage bag.

- Mom.
- Okay.

Okay, I'll let you kids hash this out.

He checked me first.

You have got to control your anger.
People don't know you here.

- They're gonna judge you harshly.
- I reacted.

- I say it was racially motivated.
- Mom.

Look, I'm gonna talk to your coach

We'll get this worked out.

Make sure he's not too rough
on our baby.

Yeah, because he is such
a delicate flower.

And so listen, you guys are cool

with me going to Naomi Clark's
amazing birthday party tomorrow night?

Well, that was fast.
I mean, Harry, do you know this girl?

Yeah, I know her family.

- You can go.
- Thanks, Dad.

Well, I'm going to call Dan Tana's
for some takeout.

Not that your tater tots
aren't to die for.

You cannot tell anybody.

- You saw that?
- Oh, I saw that.

Oh, I saw all of that.

I totally don't get why Ethan
would cheat on someone like Naomi.

Believe me,

if a dude is cheating on a chick, he
doesn't wanna be with her anymore.

But she's so beautiful.

That doesn't mean
she's not a pain in the ass.

I love that dress.

Oh, you know me, Adrianna.

Early birthday present to myself,
from myself, aren't I nice?

Here, let me get this one, ladies.

No, baby, it's on me tonight.

You guys get the table,
I'll get the drinks.

Thank you.

This is gonna be so much fun.

Excuse me?

How did you get up here?

I can ask the same question
about you.

You're a teacher. Didn't the cover
charge eat up a month's salary?

Try applying some of that caustic wit to
your term paper that's due tomorrow.

Actually, it's done. I decided
it was better to do it than to fight it.

Well, I cannot wait to read
that masterpiece.

You know, why are you always
so mean to me?

Who says I'm being mean?

She's underage. Don't serve her.

Oh, I guess that was mean.

Welcome wagon.

So then Harry--
What were we, like 17?

I don't know.
You know, maybe we should call it--

So then Harry decides that he wants to
climb on the H of the Hollywood sign.

He thinks it looks like a ladder.

Well, the whole thing
comes crashing down

and he slides on it for like 50 feet.

Oh, my God, did we laugh.

I mean, he's lucky he wasn't killed.

Well, that was a long time ago.
Can I call you a cab?

Oh, I have a better idea.

Why don't you drive me home?

Or even better.
I could drive you home

and we could swap stories
about Harry's penis.

I have enough of my own.
Thank you.

I'll see myself out. Good night.

Okay, don't you ever give me grief
about dating Morris Cornblume again,

because that lady is crazy town.

Well, in my defense, I was a teenager.
She had a beach house.

But Morris, he lived in a teepee.
You were 22.

Yeah, yeah. Let's go see Annie's dress
for tomorrow night.

You're not gonna win this one.

- Wow, who is this hot babe?
- You like it, Mom?

- It's beautiful.
- Look at her ass.

You could crack an egg on it.

And I say that
because when I was her age,

Ricardo Montalban
literally cracked an egg on mine.

I won't tell the rest of the story
because I don't remember it.

Sweetie, don't you think
that this is just a little less revealing?

Oh, for God's sake. Who are you,
Jedidiah the Amish farmer?

Why don't you go churn us
some butter?

- Beautiful.
- It's really beautiful.

I like it.

The thing is, Dixon didn't start it.
George did. He's mad the guy's better.

But George is like,
"You have to do this for me.

He slashed me first, jumped me,
get him kicked off instead of me."

So you have to lie
for a guy you don't like?

We're teammates. It's different. Yes.

If we weren't on the same team,
maybe I wouldn't hang out with him.

That's exactly why I hate lacrosse.
You're not like those guys.

You're not into anything,
so you don't understand.

Not into anything?
What's that supposed to mean?

Not like sports or music. You shop.

You think that's all I'm into?

We're talking about me and then
all of a sudden, it's about you.

Just forget it.

I'm gonna go home.

Ethan, wait.

I'm coming with you.

What's up, farm girl?
How you doing?

Where's your cow?

Where's your boyfriend, the cow?

What is that all about?

Something you gotta see.

This is Silver's blog,
"The Vicious Circle."

What do you know?
Half a million hits.

Navid, by the way.
I produce the Blaze News.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can you forward
to the part, please? Thanks.

Way to block, dude. Thanks.

Did you guys hear that Beverly Hills
just got invaded?

Yeah, it did.
So I got something special for you.

Something a little bit personal.
Check it out.

Beverly Hills sure is nice,
ain't it, sweet love of mine?

I like being a back-stabbing bitch.

I can't believe someone stole
my purse.

Hey, they stole mine too.

Hey, saw the cow video.
Funny stuff.

- Thanks.
- I just don't get what I did

to make you so angry
that you had to go and do that.

Gee, I don't know.

Maybe dissing me like I was a piece
of garbage to sit with the Bratz dolls?

Okay, first of all, I didn't diss you.

Naomi pulled me away.

If I hurt your feelings by sitting
with someone you don't like, sorry.

It's not that I don't like her.
I hate her.

Naomi is the Antichrist.

Well, the Antichrist didn't trash me
in front of half a million people.

You did.

So how did that go?

She wasn't so into it.

Can you blame her?

Silver, how many times have we had
a talk about this blog of yours?

All it does is cause problems.

Yeah, well, that's what a blog
is supposed to do, cause problems.

You know, you can't make me stop.
It's not like it's a school activity.

Okay, I'm not talking to you
as a guidance counselor right now.

I am talking to you as your sister.

Okay, then as my sister, you know
what Naomi did and why I hate her.

Yes, but this didn't hurt Naomi.
It hurt Annie.

You've gotta let go of that anger.

It's not doing you any good.
You don't wanna end up like Mom.

Come on. Please?

Just try. Please?


I'll try.

So how is Mom?

She's fine, you know. She's Mom.
I gotta go.


Ethan, you gonna talk
to the coach today.

You're gonna tell the truth?

You're gonna tell him that George
started it, right?

Let's go, Ward. Now.

Dude, I gotta go.

We gotta talk.

Then Dixon slashed George and
George just reacted like anyone would.

And you saw this?


You understand the consequences
if you're lying?

- Yes.
- Mr. Wilson, Ethan's never lied to me.

You wouldn't do that, right, Ethan?
You wouldn't look me in the eye

and lie to my face, would you?


All right, because of what you said,

I have no choice but to keep Dixon
from joining the team.

We can't have players who start fights.
You can go, Ethan.

- That kid is lying.
- Well, maybe.

Maybe not. Were you there?

- I was and I didn't see it.
- I know my son.

Harry, how many times
do you hear that from parents?

And what if Dad can't get me back
on the team?

I mean, I can't tell him this, but he's,
like, the whole reason why I play.

Like, he played lacrosse, so,
you know, I thought if I played--


When I'm on the field,

when he talks to me after a game,
it's like something we have together.

It's like our thing.

Like we're really father and son.

You are really father and son.

Don't even say that.
It's been eight years, Dixon.

- You're us.
- l--

I just really wanna play.

How could you do that to my brother?
How could you lie like that?

- It's not that simple.
- It is.

My God, you lie,
you cheat on your girlfriend.

A girl who, by the way, I like.

Do you remember what I told you
I liked about you the first time we met?

That I was frighteningly honest.

Yeah. I guess I'm just wondering
what the hell happened

to that guy that I liked
from a couple summers ago.

Because this new one is an ass.

"But more than a historical
snapshot of divisions between classes,

A Tale of Two Cities makes us
examine the morality in our own lives

and the true meaning of sacrifice."

Thank you, Naomi. That was--

That was very well written.

I can't believe you copied
the whole thing, word for word.

- What did you think I was going to do?
- Not that.

Maybe take some ideas.
At least change it around a little.

What do you care?
It was an old paper, right?

You should have asked me first.

I would have helped you.
That's what friends do.

You did help me, Annie. You did.

I don't know why
you're so hung up on this.


It's the dress you loved
from Maxfield.

I bought it for you anyway
because that's what friends do.

One, two, three.

Mama who bore me

Mama who gave me

Mama the angels
Who made me so sad

Mama who bore me

Not bad, right?

No way to handle things
Who made me so sad

I'm so excited for the party tonight.

Everyone has R.S.V.P.'d already.

Cory Kennedy is coming
and Tilly and the Wall are performing.

I'm so excited.
What do you think I should do?

I'm so worried about my dress.

I have the Stella McCartney dress,
and then I have a gold...

Mama the weeping

Mama the angels

No sleep in heaven

Or Bethlehem

Okay, okay, let's try this again.

Let's do the reprise to "Mama."

You know, it's feeling a little thin, guys.
We need to thicken it up.

The vocals need to be strong, okay?

Hey, Miss Austin, why not add Annie?
She's been watching the rehearsal.

- I'm sure she knows all the words.
- Well, it's a bit late to--

I really do. I really do, Miss Austin.

I've listened to the CD a billion times.
I've been watching the steps.

So I think I could really do this.

Okay, let's see what you can do.

Grab a mike
and take the center spot on-stage.

Okay, let's take it from the top.

One, two, three.

Mama who bore me

Mama who gave me

Mama the angels

Who made me so sad

Some pray that one day

Christ will come a-calling

They light a candle
And hope that it glows

And some just lie there crying
For him to come and find them

But when he comes
They don't know how to go

Oh, mama

That was excellent, Annie.

Like to put down the paintbrush
and join the chorus?

- I would so love to. Thank you.
- That's great.

Thank you so much.

You're welcome. See you tomorrow.

Dad, I just got to perform.
Did you see that? It was so much fun.

We need to talk. Why did Naomi Clark
turn in your paper?

Naomi, I'll deal with you
after I make a call.

Annie, you wait for me here
till the end of the day.

I cannot believe you told your dad.
Are you kidding me?

He recognized the paper.
And Mr. Matthews could tell too.

- What was I supposed to do?
- Cry. Threaten him. Be creative.

- You sound like a spoiled brat.
- Well, you sound like a little bitch.

Just so we're clear, you are completely
disinvited to my birthday party.

- Because I care.
- Oh, you should.

- Did you see if Wilson was crying?
- Dude, shut up.

Hey, don't be such a puss.
Who cares about that puss?

She wants the cheating
off her record,

she writes a paper on a new book
by the end of the day.

Well, that's impossible. She can't.

Then that kills any chance she has
of joining her sister at Yale.

She's not going to Yale.

- What does that mean?
- Just that you have other interests.

I'm just as smart as Jen, Mom.

Honey, all I meant is that you have
your big party tonight.

You have to have your final fitting.

Sweetie, you've been emotional.
You've had your purse stolen.

Can you stop making excuses for her?
Naomi, do you hear this?

Matthews doesn't think you can do it.
Your mother doesn't think you can.

Don't talk to my daughter like that.

I am trying to get her
to take responsibility for her life.

Oh, you're one to talk.

This is about Naomi.

And you're being lazy.

I think you're smart.
I think you can do it.

Come on, Naomi,
prove them wrong.

Unless I'm way off base
and you cheated

because you aren't smart enough
and you do need another week.

- Honey, take another week.
- I don't need another week.

I didn't cheat
because I couldn't write.

I'll write the stupid paper right now,
Mom. I'll show you--

- Naomi.
- Mom.

Could you just--?

Could you just leave?

So look, I'm not great at apologies,

but I shouldn't have posted
that cow video.

I was hoping
that by helping you get in the play,

now maybe that makes us cool?

Maybe friends?

Yeah, that would be great.

Ethan, what happened to you?

Tell your brother he's back
on the team.


Dixon, you're back on the team.

- What?
- I know. I wanted to see your face

when I told you. I spoke to Ethan and
I guess he told the coach the truth.

Oh, man.

Ethan's gonna kill me when he finds
out what I did to get even with him.

What did you do?

I sent a text to Naomi saying
that Ethan was cheating on her.

What? Why?
Why would you do that?

Look, I'm sorry, all right?
But I just reacted. I was angry.

I'm the only one who saw him
with that girl. He's gonna think that l--

What am I gonna do?

What am I gonna do?

You think it's fair we let Dixon go
to the party

after he gets into a fight,
but we ground Annie?

We just let her not have
any punishment?

It could have started tomorrow.

Back home, yeah, but here, I just feel
like there's so much more temptation

and ways to get into trouble,
I feel like we need to be tougher.

I guess I feel like sometimes
we bend over backwards for Dixon

but we don't do the same for Annie.



Your mom and I have talked and we've
decided you can go to the party.


That's weird.

Mom, have you seen Annie?

Yes, just before she left.

And she looked smoking.

I bet you think we didn't know
Didn't even see the times change

But it's a small small world, girl
Getting even smaller every day

- Naomi, hey.
- Hi.

I bet you think we didn't know
Didn't even see the tides change

Maybe Ethan's
not even gonna be here.

Maybe they broke up already.

Either way,
I have to apologize to him.

And plus,
if she confronted him already,

then, you know,
I'm gonna have to take the rap for it.

- We're gonna have to tell him.
- It's just the right thing to do.

Do you guys go to church
or something?

- Keep in touch, D.
- All right.

I'm getting some good shots
right here.

Who is that?

"Not a chance in hell"
is what you call her.

Just remember I got you in.
You're not a guest. You're my bitch.

Now go get some footage
for our story.

Bitch? We need to talk
about your people skills.

I can't believe
we're crashing Naomi's party.

What did I tell you?


Okay, let's go find Ethan.

Oh, my God, did you hear

About that

And what she did

Debbie, there's like a million kids here.
I'll never find her.

- See you at home.
- Harry?

What are you doing here?

Long story.

We need to talk.


All these people talking
About you now

They don't make no difference, no

Have you guys seen Ethan?

Dixon, hey.

Your sister is not gonna believe this.

- What?
- Oh, no. I'm telling her.

Her purse was stolen?

Last night at the Pit, hers
and Adrianna's. Wallet, keys, Sidekick.

- So she never got the text.
- She never got it.

- Never got it.
- She never got it.

- Thank you, God.
- You do go to church, don't you?

Hey, sorry I'm late.

Look what I got back.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Where did you find it?

The guy from the Pit called me,
they found our purses.


I don't know, they just found them.

I'm still really angry, Harry.

I had no idea how to handle it, okay?

We were broken up.
What do you want me to say?

- Do you want me to say I'm sorry?
- Yes.

Okay, I am sorry that I freaked out.
But that was over 20 years ago.

And besides, I did.
I called to find out about you.

Your mother said
you'd gone off to Europe.

I didn't go off to Europe for the year.
And I didn't go to the clinic.

I went away to have our baby.

So that he could be adopted.

We have a son together.

Okay, please, listen, I just really wanna
thank you for coming out tonight

and helping us celebrate
Naomi's birthday.

Wait, I thought her Sidekick
was stolen.

And, you know, I could drone on,

but what I really wanna do is meet
the guest of honor

and I can't think of a better way
to do that than for Naomi and Ethan

to share a dance.

So give it up

for the sweetest and the most beautiful
16 you ever saw,

my daughter, Naomi Clark.

You look beautiful.

I love you.

Is it true?

Are you cheating on me?

Tell me.

Tell the truth and don't lie to me.

Well, come on, everybody, join in.

Thank you so much for making this
the best birthday, ever.

I feel so terrible.

- I wanted to tell him--
- I know you did.

Do you wanna get out of here?

Go to a real party
with normal people?

- Yeah. Yeah.
- Yes.

Is it like this every week?

Pretty much.

There's a whole world outside
of Beverly Hills.

Is that Ethan?

We've been coming here
since eighth grade.

Told you you'd find him here.


I am so sorry about everything.

I saw what happened.

Well, you were right.

I have become a complete ass.

Not complete. You did help Dixon.
What made you do that?

I don't know. I guess I was

trying to find that guy that you liked
a couple of summers ago.

- But thank you, Annie.
- Yeah.

We'll talk.

He's been asking about you.


I can't talk, he just came in.


- Hey.
- Mommy, I can't sleep.

Oh, Sam, come here.

And I'll rock you.

- Oh, you know who else can't sleep?
- Who?

The tickle monster.

This place definitely doesn't suck.

- Welcome to California.
- Come on.

Good morning.

my damn computer froze up again.

- What'd you spill on it this time, Mom?
- Scotch.

I mean, iced tea.

- Yeah.
- The good iced tea too.

I'll take it to the repair shop for you.

Oh, no, I'll do it myself.

I need to pick up
some more iced tea anyway.

You can't drive. That's why there's that
sticker on your medication that says:

"Not to operate heavy machinery."

It's a Mercedes, not a corn thresher.

I need to finish my memoirs
before my friend Virginia does.

We've slept
with all the same people.

If I would have walked in five seconds
later, I wouldn't have had to hear that.

- Mom, let Debbie get it. You just--
- Morning.

- Honey, you okay?
- Jason and I broke up.

- I'm sorry.
- Oh, what a shame.

It just comes down to we are both
geographically undesirable.

Well, I could have told you
that was gonna happen.

It doesn't make it any easier. Move.

I say goodbye to Huckleberry Finn
and hello to California boys.

Dixon, I'm gonna grab my keys
and then I'll take you to practice.

Can we talk for a second, hon?

Tracy called again this morning.

What are you gonna do?

I have no idea.

I think I'm still in shock.

Listen, I wanna handle this
the right way for you and me.

I know it's been a tough weekend

but you gotta tell me
how I can help you.

I don't know, Harry. I didn't expect
to wake up Saturday morning

and hear that my husband
has a child with another woman.

This could be such a major adjustment
for our family.

I'm sorry this dropped in your lap,

but I promise you
that we will handle this together. l--

Look, this is Antonio.

First day on the job and he's called me
ten times about this shoot.


You know what? We should--

- Talk about this tonight?
- Yeah, tonight.

Yeah, Antonio.


What? The whole front hallway?


- Pali Hall lacrosse team did this.
- They got us good.

Listen up, team.

I know you guys are pissed.

I get it. I would want revenge
if I were in your shoes too.

But we're not gonna retaliate.

Are you kidding?
Look at the ground.

Not kidding.
Let the school board handle this.

We'll get back at them on the field.

- Not off the field.
- That's a terrible idea.

Didn't ask your opinion.

Look, gentlemen,
this gives us a chance to show

what kind of character we have.

- What kind of men we are.
- What, wussy men?

There are to be no retaliation or pranks
on Palisades Hall.

End of discussion. Am I clear?

Am I clear?

Guys, come on.
You heard the principal.

Yes, Mr. Wilson.

Yes, Dad.




I got this. It didn't travel well,

but it made me think of you, so...

Because it's crushed?

Are we gonna be okay?

I hope so.

I'll meet you after class.

Why don't you watch
where you're going, wart?

You need a hug too?

Hey, it's gonna be okay.

Everything's gonna be okay.

- Hey, Annie.
- Bye, see you later.

- Hey.
- Hey.

Listen, I just wanna say I'm sorry for
the stuff I put you through last week.

- That's okay.
- Well, no, it's not.


Anyway, how are you?

Jason broke up with me,
my boyfriend from back home.

Wow, that sucks.


Do you want me to, like, kick his ass?
Because I could totally do that for you.

He'd kill you.

But thanks for the thought.

Wait. He'd kill me?

A mystic wisdom, rising with them

To shore

I am so sorry.

- Was it that bad?
- Oh, my God. No, no, no.

Not y-- It was great.

You were just--

You have a really nice voice.

I'm Annie.

I'm in the musical too.
But I'm just in the chorus.

You probably never noticed, because
why would you look behind you?

I've noticed you, Annie.

You dropped this.

Thank you.

Oh, I'm just-- I'm in rehearsal.

Please, go do your thing.

We'll just start from the top, I guess.

All right,
let's start with last night's reading.

Who wants to tell me
what a haiku is?

And if you say a haiku
is the new sushi roll at Koi,

well, that would be incorrect.

Your lies build up inside
I wanna fly away


Oh, I'm sorry.

Adrianna, what's up with you?

- Are you okay?
- Yeah.

I'm just distracted.

I have this really big audition
for this movie this week.

And I just haven't been able
to sleep.

And if you get it, what then?

Well, then, I'd be in a movie,

make lots of money.

So, what,
you can buy a new cell phone?

Or maybe a fancy pair of shoes?

Maybe expensive car
you really don't need?


So I can pay the mortgage
because my mom can't.

Well, did you enjoy my party?

I know we shouldn't have crashed,

- Cool tattoo.
- Oh, yeah.

No, I don't blame you.

I mean, it was a fabulous party.

Just didn't expect to see you there,

you know,
with all your morals and everything.

Thank you.

Miss Taylor?

Mr. Matthews.

You know, if you sit with me,
I'll let you have half my sandwich.

How about I sit with you
and you keep your sandwich?

Well, you're too easy.

Anyone ever tell you that?

Not lately.

So, guys,

- we gonna get them back or what?
- No.

Man, I mean you heard what
Mr. Wilson said. I mean, your dad.

No retaliation, right?

Oh, come on, guys.
I want in on this.

- I'm not gonna tell anyone.
- Dude.

You're the principal's kid.

I mean, what are we?


I think
this may be my best blog-isode yet.

Oh, no, why does that scare me?

You shouldn't be scared.
Others should be scared.

Okay, seriously, Silver,
it's kind of mean.

And it makes me feel like
I can't tell you stuff.

In fact, I've probably
already told you too much.

Okay, what was that?

- What?
- What?

Ty Collins practically put his tongue
in your mouth. That's what.

- Shut up.
- Okay.

You are obviously too messed up
to see what's right in front of you,

so let me be your eyes.

If Ty Collins is into you,

you should be into Ty Collins,
or so to speak.

Okay, can you just
give me one second

because my old relationship
ended six hours ago.

the cure for a breakup is a hookup.

Now, he does tend to leave broken
hearted girls sobbing at his locker.

But for a temporary distraction,
he's your man.

that is a terrible recommendation

and I really don't think
he's that into me.

Yeah, because you're such a dork.


- Hey, Annie.
- Hey. Hey, Ty.

You wanna grab dinner
tonight after rehearsal?

- Yeah.
- Great.

I'm so sorry that happened to you.

I don't know why people cheat.

Who are you
and why are you speaking to me?

Welcome to my first installment
of Puppets Revenge Theater.

This episode is entitled,
"We're Fighting, Again. "

How could you cheat on me?

I think I'm so beautiful.

- I love lacrosse.
- No.

No, no, you're supposed to love me
because you're the only one

stupid enough to actually think
that I'm interested.

- I love lacrosse.
- Hi, Ethan,

can we go to your car and check out
your lacrosse stick together?

Ethan, everyone's seen it.
Ethan, everyone knows.

Naomi, I'm sorry.

That slap's gonna be legendary.

Too bad that's not on Silver's site.

Maybe you can reenact it.

The harder the slap,
the faster they run back.

You should so write
a relationship blog.

Wait till you see
the next part of my plan.

Why do you wanna do anything
with those jock asses anyway?

They're just gonna end up
selling tires or car insurance.

Oh, killed you. Bye-bye.

Look, the fun part about being
on a team is being part of the team.

And you wouldn't know that
because you were never on one.

- How do you keep doing that?
- Because you are my bitch.

I was on a team in sixth grade.
I played soccer with those guys.

But I kept scoring for the other team
so we respectfully parted ways.

- I hit you first.
- Then why are you dead?

Look, I just got to come up
with the dopest prank ever, kid.

Like just crazy.

So they won't even think of me
as the principal's kid anymore.

- Suck on that. Suck on that.
- Sweet, dude, you ate my head.

- So, what are you gonna do?
- I don't know.

You got anything?

Honey, I'm swamped at work.
Is this important?

I'm just gonna go grab a bite with
a friend from the play. Is that okay?

What bite? What friend?

- It's just a guy who--
- It's a date?

That was fast.

- It's not a date, Mom. It's just a hang.
- A hang?

- On a school night.
- I know it's a school night,

but it's just a guy from the play,
his name is Ty

and we just wanna talk
about the play

and nothing special.

- We just wanna hang.
- Okay, slow down.

It'd be nice to have something
to take my mind off Jason, you know?

And I promise I won't be out late.

Wait, I didn't say yes yet.

Come on, Mom, please?

Okay, I'll make you a deal.

I'm gonna be working later
than I thought,

so can you and Ty stop by,
pick up Grandma's computer

and drop it off to her
before your hang?

- Will do.
- Okay, be home by 10.

I love you. I will see you at 9:59.

All right, here we go.

Bullitt Central High School
in Shepherdsville, Kentucky

put Nair
in the other teams' jockstraps.

You really wanna touch
the other team's jockstraps?

Good point.

Hello, gentlemen.

Hey, Grandma, what's up?

Oh, just waiting for Annie
to bring my computer back.

I heard about the trash at school.


You know,
your dad loved a good prank.

His senior year,
he and the team got 50 pigs,

God only knows from where,
and released them on Palisades' field.

Took them six hours
to catch them all

and then they had to play the game
in pig poop.

I'll let you get back to your studies.

I think I have an idea.

Where are we?
This looks like an airport.

Well, it is.

The planes seem small.

Private planes.

Private airport.

Oh, so where's the restaurant?

Oh, it's in San Francisco.

He has a jet, Silver. A jet.

Okay? It's the coolest thing ever.

It's like Pretty Woman
but I'm not a whore.

Yeah, well,
he is the richest guy in school.

And I have a solid
"say yes to jet" policy.

- So, what's the problem?
- The problem is

my mom would kill me
because she almost didn't let me go

when she thought we were eating
at Astro Burger.

Okay, it's like an hour flight, right?

It's like being stuck
on Sunset in traffic.

Okay, so you think I should--?

Stop being such a farm girl and go.
I'll talk to you later.

Hey, Naomi, I'm so sorry
to hear about Ethan rejecting you.

You are such a good person.
You really deserve to be happy.

He didn't reject her, bitch lips.

- She slapped him.
- Yeah.

His cheating
was really an act of love.

See you around, Cheetah Girls.

Nobody break a nail.

Just so you know,
I'm gonna try and play it cool,

but I am totally freaking out
right now.

I'm freaking out too.
I just talked to the pilot

- and he's slurring his words.
- Are you serious?

No, I'm not.

You call your mom.

Freak out about a plane. It's...

It's cute.

That doesn't sound
like a good thing.

It's a great thing.

Yes, I hated the business side
of the fashion world.

And I had my degree in Psychology
so I thought why not?

I went back and got my Master's
and here I am.

How about you?
How'd you get started in teaching?

For the chicks.

I wanted to ask you something,

outside of school.

Will you go to dinner with me
some time?

I don't know.

Is that like a "I'm not just that into you"
I don't know,

or is it more of a "I'm gonna play coy
and make him sweat" I don't know?

I would have to get a babysitter.

You have a kid?

This is where you can retract
the offer with no hard feelings.

No, it doesn't bother me, you know.

Everybody comes
with some baggage.

I don't really consider
my son baggage. But, okay.

I don't know why
it came out like that.

I didn't mean that, okay?

l-- What I meant was--

How old is he?

- Four and a half.
- Four and a half, that--

That is a wonderful age.

I don't know if that's true.
I just hear people say it.

And I just thought
maybe it was the right thing to say.

- See you later.
- Yeah, see you.

Never. Real bad.

Okay, everybody,
rehearsal in five minutes.

So your dad's like a movie producer
or something, right?

Yeah. There they are.

This is crazy.

- Hey, what time do you guys wrap?
- Another couple of hours.

- All right, be back.
- Cool.

Hey, buddy, this way.

- Hey.
- Hey. Hey, Lila. Good to see you.

What kind of movies
does your dad produce?


He's the biggest producer
of X-rated movies in the world.

- So can we stay and watch?
- Dude, no.

- Why not?
- Dude, my dad only has two rules.

No watching porn until I'm 21,

and we always eat dinner together.

We need the rest of the live shots.

I wish I knew
what you were thinking.

I am thinking

that I just had the best meal
that I've ever had

at the fanciest restaurant
I've ever been to.

Where do you learn
to speak Italian?

Oh, well, that's the upside
of spending all my summers in Italy.

And what would be the downside?

There is none.

This night

is nothing like I thought it would be.

Is that a good thing?

It's a great thing.

- By yourself, Kel?
- No, I'm meeting someone.

Nat, give me a shake,
French fries, extra crispy.

- Brenda.
- Hi!

- Hi!
- Hello.

Oh, it's so good to see both of you
in this place again.

- How's your brother?
- Oh, Brandon is good.

He told me to tell you
that every time he thinks of you

he craves a mega-burger.

Oh, I've made an impression.

And he told me to tell you
that you are beautiful.

Yes, he said that on the phone

at 3 a.m.
when he called from Belize.

What is with you Walsh kids,
can't stay in one place?

Well, I'm here for at least a month
doing the play.

- So that should count for something.
- Yes, it does.

Listen, I was thinking, we should
spend some more time together.

I mean, it's been too long.

Last time you saw Sammy
was when he was a baby.

I know.

And you know what?

I was thinking
we've wasted a lot of time

over the last couple of years,
you know?

Yeah, I know.

So, what do you say we stop wasting it
and get back to where we were?

Sounds great. My only question is,
what are we doing here?

- Just having milk shakes?
- That's a good question. Yeah. Nat?

Dude, I can still see
the slap mark on your face.

Whatever. At least I got somebody
who cares about me to slap me.

Better than you and your hand.

All right, this prank better be good.

And what is he doing here?

I mean, he's not even on the team.

Yeah, I'm participating as a fan.

I think I have a shrine to you
in my room, Mikey.

- Funny.
- Look, guys,

if y'all don't like the idea,
we can do this alone.

Yeah, let's see what you got.

- Whoa, where'd you get these?
- They're my dad's.

Why are porn dudes
always so freaky?

Guys, guys.
Hold them back. Hold them back.

Okay, we gotta get these jerseys
on them. Look, there's just three pigs.

When they see the number four

they're gonna be looking
for the other number all day.

Dude, this is sick.

I mean, disgusting, but also sick.

I seriously think
we'd be really great together.

And with my beauty

and your brains,
there's nothing we couldn't do.

Is that right?

You wanna know something?

No, not really.

When we were in eighth grade,
I loved sitting behind you in History

because your hair
smelled like grape juice.

Why are you so weird?

I'm just saying what I'm thinking.

Oh, well, you know what?
That's scary.

Very, very scary actually.

- Come on, tell me.
- What?

How many girls have you flown
to San Francisco on your first date?

You're buzzing.

Jeez, eight messages.

Oh, sorry,

we don't get cell service
when we're in flight.

- Oh, no.
- What's wrong?

My grandma was in an accident.

A car accident.

My God.

- I am so sorry.
- You should be.

Tabitha picked up her computer
because you couldn't be bothered.

Oh, my God, I totally forgot.

- How is she?
- She is okay now.

She's upstairs talking
with one of her friends.

I have no excuse
except I was distracted

because I was having fun
hanging out with a new friend

and I just forgot.

Punish me. Do whatever you need.

I am so sorry.

We appreciate your honesty, Annie.

No more dates on a school night.

Where is this Ty guy?

I thought it better
that he didn't come in.


So then Pacino says:

"I don't care who cooked it,
I'm not eating it."

Well, I think he would eat it now.

And anything else
you put in front of him.

someone's here to check on you.

- Grandma, are you okay?
- Oh, sweetie, I'm fine.

Did you hear? I nailed an SUV.

The big bastard
was taking up three spots.

- Hi, Mrs. Brewer.
- Hi, Annie.

It's so good to see you.
I believe you know my grandson.




You like him?


Yeah, I like him.

We had fun.

At the very least, we'll be friends.

Just friends or--?

that's the most important thing.

If we can't be that,
then we can't be anything else,

- right?
- Right.

Are we friends?

Hey, remember that Fourth of July
at the pier? That was fun.

Oh, yeah, yeah. I'm still mad at you
about that by the way.

You're supposed to send me
pictures of the octopus.

The pentapus.
It only had five tentacles.

- Yes. Yes, the pentapus.
- Yes.

- Of course the pentapus that I won.
- That I won.

Excuse me.

Who threw the ball
that knocked over the last milk bottle?

Oh, it was wobbling already.
It was already falling down.

You grabbed the ball
and threw as it was going down.

And knocked it over

which is why I won the pentapus,
thank you very much.

God, that was the ugliest thing
I've ever seen.

It was.

I bet you it was stuffed with asbestos
or something.

I got a rash for a week
after holding that thing.

It was not good. Not good.

Whatever happened to that thing?

Yeah, I don't know.
Probably just dissolved.

So how are things
with you and Naomi?

Not good.

I'm sorry.

Yeah, I am too.

About a lot of things.

Ethan, time to go.

Well, that's my exit.

Your grandmother
has trouble driving too, huh?

God, it must suck getting old.

Yeah, actually

she drives just fine.

See you around, Annie.

So nobody knows anything
about the four pigs

that destroyed
Palisades Hall's cafeteria last night?



Besides extensive property damage,
they had to call in animal control,

who's been looking for the pigs, trying
to round them up for the last ten hours

and just can't seem to find them all.

You know, a lot of schools hate
Palisades. Could've been any of them.

No, these pigs were wearing
West Beverly lacrosse jerseys.

Yeah, it's probably us.

Was I not clear when I said
no retaliation?

Let me be clear about this,

if one of you doesn't step forward

by 1:00 today
and take responsibility for this,

your lacrosse season, it's over.


- Wait. He can't do that.
- Come on.

That's funny, guys,
but someone's gotta come clean.

Still reading lines?

Yeah, I'm almost off script.

- You ready for your audition?
- My mom thinks I am.

What about you?

Yeah. That's what I meant.

I'm ready. I'm on it.

You know that it's all over school

about you and George.

I know.

- Has Ethan called?
- Meeting tonight.

Told you it'd work.

- Good luck.
- You too.

I need you to tell me
if you know anything.

How can you ask me that?

lt'd be better
if somebody steps forward.

So you're asking me
to rat on my team?

They barely trust me as it is.

You don't think
that they know I'm in here right now,

- thinking I'm giving them up?
- Is there something to give up?

Are you asking me this as my dad
or as my principal?

Because my dad
would be on my side.

Your father and your principal are
trying to teach you about character.

- By ratting on my team.
- No.

By taking responsibility
for your actions.

Whoever is involved with this
has to come forward

or the entire team gets punished.

Fine! It was me!

- What was?
- I did it.

- Did what?
- I let the pigs loose.

I planned everything.
I did everything by myself.

Come on, Dixon.

- What, you don't believe me?
- No. No, I don't believe you.

Where do you think
I got the idea from?

Grandma told me about your pig prank
when you were on the team.


Are you absolutely certain

that you wanna take full responsibility
for this?

All on your head?

All of it by yourself?

Easiest decision
I made since I got here.



- Adrianna?
- I think she left.


So come on, spill it.

- Did you join the mile high club?
- We didn't even kiss.

Of course I was so nervous.

I was talking incessantly
and didn't give him the chance to.

Yeah, well,
you did get to fly on a private jet.

That makes you a winner.
I am a loser.

Stayed at The Pit
and drank coffee all night.

- Loser.
- Yeah, yeah.

Hey, cool tattoo.

What does it mean?

It's a Chinese symbol for friendship,
because, you know, friends are cool.

Naomi has the same one.


All right, in eighth grade, my dad
had an affair with mom's best friend.

I was--

I was so angry, you know.

So unbelievably scared

that she'd find out, you know?

And she'd get a divorce

or start drinking again.

So I didn't tell anybody.
I kept it a secret.

And it started eating away at me
and I just--

I had to tell someone

so I told my best friend, Naomi.

She promised me
that she wouldn't tell anyone.

So she told everyone.

Why would she do that?

Because she needs to know
more than anyone else.

Because it gives her power
to tear people down.

So my mom found out.

She confronted my dad.

And everything
that I prayed wouldn't happen,



now it is my greatest pleasure

to make her pay for it.

I'm sorry.


- Hey.
- Hi.


What--? How was the audition?

Oh, it was great.
Really great, actually.

It's between me and one other girl.

- So keep your fingers crossed.
- Wow, I will.

Hey, congratulations.

Thank you.

- You didn't have to do that, man.
- Don't worry about it, man.

It was my idea anyway.

but now he cut you from the team.

Yeah, but there were guys on the team
who had nothing to do with it,

and they would have been screwed
for the whole season.

I had to do it, man.

See you later.

You think his dad will put him back
on the team?

I don't know.

Hey, Mr. Wilson?

What can I do for you, Mr. Ward?

Dixon didn't do it alone.

I helped, so--

I mean, if you suspend him,

you have to suspend me.

Me too.

Navid, you too?

They were my pigs, sir,
and I can prove it.

They respond to their names
when called.


- Hey.
- Hey.

Look what I found
in my daughter's pocket.

San Francisco, Annie?

I was just so bummed about Jason

and Ty was fun and nice
and I knew you would say no.

Wait a minute,
I said yes to a date on a school night

which I thought
was pretty cool of me.

I'm sorry if I have to draw the line
at my 15-year-old daughter

jetting off to San Francisco
with a guy she barely knows.

That's what kids here do.
They have planes and they go places.

And they don't tell their parents
because it's no big deal.

It takes an hour
to get to San Francisco by jet

and that's like being in traffic
on Sunset.

We have rules, Annie.

What if you're somewhere and we
don't know where and you get hurt?

I will work with you
but I have to be able to trust you.

Right now, I don't know when
I'm gonna be able to do that again.

- Are you gonna tell Dad?
- Of course I'm gonna tell Dad.


Of all the guys, why him?
In front of everyone?

I guess I just did to you
what you did to me.

What I did to you was terrible.

I feel horrible.

But, I mean,

I hurt you, you hurt me.
Is that how it works with us?

I wouldn't do that to a friend and we're
supposed to be more than friends.

Oh, we are more than that. We--

We're more than friends, Ethan.

And we fought before.
We always work it out.

You know,

you asked me why I did it.

I said I didn't know.

I think I do now.

I wanted out.

Are you breaking up with me?

I'm breaking up with us.


Thanks to your buddies,
you're back on the team.

You and Ethan are gonna
have to sit out the Palisades game

and Navid's gonna
have to pick up trash.

- Really?
- Yeah.

And I wanna apologize to you.

Wasn't fair of me
to ask you to give up your buddies.

I was on a team once.

I know how it works.

You know,
I'm sorry I disobeyed you.

You know,

I'm still trying to find my way
around here.

I'm trying to figure out
when to be a principal

and when to be your dad.

You know, I think I like my dad more
than my principal.

You might not
when you hear his punishment.



Hi. Is--?

I'm sorry, I was looking for Kelly.

Yeah, you're in the right place.
She's just putting Sammy to bed.

I'm her friend, Brenda.

I just got into town.
We've been catching up.

I bet that you're Ryan.

Why, I am.

- Ryan?
- Hey.

I know. Weird that I'm here.

l-- I'm not a stalker. I just--

I felt bad about my comment.

The comment.

So I wanted to bring you these.

- Thank you.
- Yeah.

And I also work part-time
for the Blackhawks, recruiting fans.

So I brought you this too

- for your son.
- Yeah, I figured.

Yeah, okay, so you have company
and you're busy. I'm just gonna--

Actually, if you guys
wanna grab some food or a drink,

I can stay here and watch Sammy.
If he's already asleep

- he won't even know that you're gone.
- I would love that.

But it's up to you.

l-- You just got here.

Don't worry, I'll be here for a while.


Yeah. I'll--

- Are you sure?
- Yeah.

I'll get my stuff.

- Well?
- He nailed me.

No texting.

Coming straight home
after school from practice.

And play rehearsal.

And no dates for two weeks
or parties or coffee money.

But you got to go to San Francisco.

I know.

This ain't Kansas no more.

You sorry we moved here?

Yet to be determined.

There's lot of temptation here.

I'm just concerned
how it's gonna affect the kids.

You say the word,
I will move us back to Kansas.

- Would you really do that?
- Yes,

I would.

Look, it was tough moving here.

But if you're unhappy,
if the kids are miserable,

I will pack us up, Mom in tow,

and head back to Kansas.

I think we can give it some time.

But it's nice to know
we have another option.

We do.

And this thing with Tracy,
I wish I knew what to do but I don't.

And am I curious to know
the kid's okay? Absolutely.

But being an adoptive father, would I
want Dixon's birth parents around us?

No way.

Well, look,
Dixon is a teenager, this is a man.

Before you do anything about that,

you need to figure out how
you wanna handle things with Tracy.

I don't know.

And I am the first to admit that I
was not the greatest guy back then.

Honestly, I'm more concerned
about the guy that you are now.

So just take your time

and figure out
how you wanna handle this.

I will.

And you will be the first to know.

If my parents see you,

- they're gonna freak out.
- Well,

better hurry up then.

Hurry, what?