8 Simple Rules (2002–2005): Season 2, Episode 7 - What Dad Would Want - full transcript

LOIS AND I STILL
CAN'T BELIEVE IT.

OH. WELL, YOU TELL LOIS THANK YOU
FOR THE CASSEROLE. IT'S SO SWEET.

BUT YOU KNOW, I HAVE BEEN
BACK TO WORK FOR A MONTH,

AND I CAN COOK.

TAKE CARE OF EACH OTHER.

WILL DO.

YOU AND PAUL HAD SUCH GOOD
FRIENDS. HE SURE WAS LOVED.

YEAH.

ANYONE ELSE GETTING SICK OF IT?

HONEY, THEY'RE JUST
TRYING TO SHOW THEY CARE.

BY BRINGING CASSEROLES?



EVERYONE KNOWS
THEY'RE ALL CARBS.

IS IT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY "WE'RE
HERE FOR YOU" WITH A SALAD?

AND THE WORST IS THE WAY
THE CASSEROLE PEOPLE SAY "HI."

YEAH, I KNOW. IT'S: "HI."

LOOK, I DON'T THINK ANYBODY
MEANS OFFENSE BY SAYING "HI."

RIGHT. THAT'S WHAT FRIENDS DO.

AND IF THEY WANT TO
BRING DELICIOUS THINGS,

WE'LL JUST HAVE
TO GRIN AND EAT IT.

HEY.

HEY.

YOU KNOW, A LOT OF TIMES

PEOPLE TAKE ORANGE
BALLS SIMILAR TO THIS ONE

OUTSIDE AND SHOOT THEM
AT BASKETBALL HOOPS.

OKAY, BUT BRING IT BACK.



AREN'T BASKETBALL
TRYOUTS IN A FEW DAYS?

WEDNESDAY, I THINK.

I DON'T KNOW IF I'M
GONNA DO THAT ANYMORE.

YOU WERE SO EXCITED
ABOUT BASKETBALL.

THAT'S ALL YOU AND
DAD TALKED ABOUT.

YEAH WELL, THINGS CHANGE.

YOU'RE DAD WOULDN'T WANT
SOMETHING YOU AND HE SHARED

TO SUDDENLY BECOME
MEANINGLESS FOR YOU.

BUT IT'S NOT THE SAME.

HE TAUGHT ME HOW TO DO A LAYUP.

HE WAS HELPING ME PRACTICE.

AND BESIDES, THEY'RE
ONLY PICKING 14 PLAYERS.

MAYBE YOUR GRANDFATHER
COULD HELP YOU.

HE WAS QUITE THE
BASKETBALL PLAYER IN HIS DAY.

REALLY? WHICH ONE OF THE
13 COLONIES DID HE PLAY FOR?

HEY!

JUST THINK ABOUT IT.

YOUR DAD REALLY
WOULD HAVE WANTED THAT.

WHAT'S THAT?

I'M PUTTING TOGETHER A COLLAGE

FOR THE SCHOLARSHIP
KICKOFF DINNER.

THE ONE THE NEWSPAPER
SET UP IN DAD'S HONOR.

THE ONE YOU BOUGHT
THE NEW OUTFIT FOR.

OH, RIGHT. THURSDAY.

- MOM, WE GOT MORE CARDS.
- MORE?

JUST PUT THEM ON THE DESK.

I'LL LOOK THROUGH THEM LATER.

I GOTTA GET TO THESE
DIRTY CASSEROLE DISHES.

DON'T BOTHER
YOURSELF WITH THOSE.

I'M IN THE PROCESS
OF WASHING THEM.

I'M JUST LETTING THEM SOAK.

DAD, NO OFFENSE, BUT, UH,

YOU'VE BEEN SOAKING
THEM FOR TWO DAYS.

HOW LONG DOES THIS PROCESS TAKE?

HOW WOULD I KNOW?

- WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
- I NEED THE SCISSORS.

- I WAS USING THEM.
- I HAVE A STRAY BANG HAIR.

EVERYONE IN THE WORLD
STOP WHAT YOU'RE DOING!

- BRIDGET HAS
A STRAY BANG HAIR!
- GIRLS.

- GIVE THEM BACK!
- I'M USING THEM!

- WHY ARE YOU SO SELFISH?
- THEY'RE MY ART SCISSORS!

- YEAH, I'M SURE
SOME ART DORK...
- THEY'RE NOT EVEN MINE...

I SAID ENOUGH!

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, STOP!

THIS ENDLESS BICKERING
IS DRIVING ME NUTS!

- POOR MOM.
- YEAH, I THINK WE UPSET HER.

YEP, I THINK YOU DID.

DON'T YOU THINK YOUR MOM
HAS ENOUGH TO DEAL WITH

RIGHT NOW WITHOUT
YOU GIRLS FIGHTING?

SO WHAT DO YOU
SAY WE HELP HER OUT?

Both: OKAY.

NOW THERE'S STILL A LOT OF
CHEESE CAKED ON THOSE DISHES,

SO DON'T BE AFRAID TO PUT
YOUR SHOULDERS INTO IT. OKAY?

I'LL BE RIGHT OUTSIDE.

HEY, WHAT DO YOU SAY WE WORK ON
YOUR ENDURANCE AFTER YOU'RE DONE?

YOU WANT ME TO WALK UP WITH YOU

TO THE STORE TO GET
CIGARETTES, DON'T YOU?

WELL, I... YEAH.

LOOKING PRETTY GOOD, PAL.

NOT GOOD ENOUGH.

DAD ALWAYS SAID GAMES ARE
WON AND LOST ON FREE THROWS.

SMART MAN, YOUR DAD.

DID YOU KNOW HIS TEAM WON THE
STATE CHAMPIONSHIP TWO YEARS IN A ROW?

WELL, BACK WHEN I WAS PLAYING
BALL WITH BEN FRANKLIN AND THE BOYS...

MOM TOLD YOU WHAT I SAID?

JUST GIVE ME THE BALL.

THAT'S PRETTY FUNNY. I'VE
GOT A FRIEND WHO CAN KICK IT IN.

HEY, THAT'S A REAL SHOT.

IT IMPROVES YOUR ODDS
OF MAKING A FREE THROW

WHEN YOU SHOOT FROM
BETWEEN YOUR LEGS.

IT'D ALSO IMPROVE MY ODDS OF
GETTING BEATEN UP AFTER TRYOUTS.

HEY, GUYS.

WOULD YOU TELL YOUR SON

IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY DIFFERENCE

WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK

ABOUT THE WAY HE
SHOOTS THE BALL?

I DON'T KNOW, DAD.

THEN PEOPLE IN THE
STANDS WOULD KNOW

THE KID DOING THE
GRANNY SHOT WAS MY SON.

I DON'T NEED THAT.

WELL, FINE. YOU
KNOW WHAT I NEED?

I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO THE STORE

- FOR CIGARETTES.
- OH, CRAP.

Man on TV: Our
cameras followed Jan

as she went in search
of her Extreme Makeover!

Here's what the doctors did:

Her nasal bridge was
shaved and sculpted,

her teeth capped,
eyelids lifted;

fat is liposuctioned from tummy,
buttocks, and thigh sections.

But in the end,
will the surgeons

achieve the look
Jan's striving for?

- This was Jan before.
- OH!

This is Jan after her
Extreme Makeover!

OH, JAN, YOU'RE PRETTY NOW!

OH MY... OH!

OH, NO NO NO!

OH GOD, OH GOD! NO NO!

NO NO NO! NOT PRETTY!

- HEY.
- WHAT'S UP?

HAVE YOU SEEN MY COLLAGE?
I WANT TO GO PUT IT AWAY.

YES, YES I HAVE SEEN
YOUR COLLAGE, ACTUALLY.

THE TRUTH IS, I...
TOOK IT TO BE FRAMED.

- WHAT?
- YEAH.

I JUST THOUGHT IT
WAS SO BEAUTIFUL

THAT IT WOULD LOOK
MORE BEAUTIFUL IN A FRAME.

OH, I LOVE THIS
NOT FIGHTING THING.

CLING TO THAT.

OH. I HEARD THE DOOR. THOUGHT IT WAS
RORY BACK FROM BASKETBALL TRYOUTS.

NO, JUST ME BACK FROM MY WALK.

WITH YOUR LAUNDRY?

IF YOUR NEIGHBORS
WANT TO HELP US

THROUGH THESE DIFFICULT TIMES,

I SAY WE LET THEM.

I THINK WE MIGHT HAVE
FINALLY FOUND A USE FOR YOU.

YOU SOUND LIKE
YOU'RE IN A GOOD MOOD.

I GOT RORY TO GO TO
HIS BASKETBALL TRYOUTS.

SO, YEAH, I FEEL PRETTY GOOD.

I SURE HOPE HE MAKES THE TEAM.

OKAY, NOW NOT SO GOOD.

WHY WOULDN'T HE MAKE THE TEAM?

I DIDN'T SAY HE WOULDN'T.

MIRACLES HAPPEN.

HOW BAD IS HE?

NO NO NO, HE'S NOT BAD.

HE'S GOT A LOT OF HEART.

OH, NO. NOT A LOT OF HEART.

MM-HMM.

WHAT WAS I THINKING
MAKING HIM GO TRY OUT?

HI. ARE YOU OKAY?

YEAH. I MADE THE TEAM.

I TOLD YOU HE WOULD!

- HEY.
- HEY.

MOM, DO YOU HAVE
ANY PICTURES OF DAD?

WELL, OF COURSE, HONEY.
WHATEVER YOU WANT.

OKAY, GOOD. I NEED, LIKE, 25
FROM VARIOUS STAGES OF HIS LIFE.

FOR MY WALLET.

- WHAT ARE YOU UP TO?
- NOTHING.

WHY ARE YOU SO SUSPICIOUS? GOD!

RORY, I TOLD YOU NOT TO
BOUNCE THE BALL IN THE HOUSE.

HI, MOM, BLONDE SISTER.

OH! RORY, YOU RUINED
KERRY'S COLLAGE!

BUT THE BALL LANDED OVER...

- AND IT'S ALL WET AND THERE'S CHEESE...
- SHUT UP!

BE A MAN. OWN UP TO IT.

YOU'RE GONNA HAVE
TO TALK TO KERRY.

WHAT'S EVERYONE DOING IN THERE?

ACTUALLY I THINK YOU'RE THE
ONE WHO NEEDS TO TALK TO KERRY.

COME ON, WE'RE GOING.

I'LL CATCH UP.

COME ON, LET'S GO.

- TALK TO ME ABOUT WHAT?
- NOTHING.

DID YOU HAPPEN TO GET MY COLLAGE
BACK FROM THE FRAME STORE?

YEAH. UM, YOU KNOW HOW
WE'RE NOT FIGHTING ANYMORE?

SUCH A GOOD THING.

OH MY GOD, WHAT HAPPENED TO IT?

YOU'RE GONNA LAUGH.

SEE, I WAS CLEANING THIS PAN
AND THIS AMAZING SHOW CAME ON TV.

THEY MADE THIS
UGLY FAT WOMAN HOT.

IT'S LIKE, WITH THE MIRACLES
IN PLASTIC SURGERY TODAY

THERE'S JUST NO
EXCUSE TO BE UGLY.

- CAN I SEE IT?
- I DIDN'T PUT A TAPE
IN THE VCR. SORRY.

MY COLLAGE!

RORY IS NOT TOTALLY
BLAMELESS IN THIS.

WOW, YOU'RE TAKING
THIS REALLY WELL...

BECAUSE WE DECIDED
NOT TO FIGHT ANYMORE.

- WOW, ALL THESE
PICTURES OF DAD.
- I KNOW.

YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD
HAVE GONE GREAT HERE?

YOUR COLLAGE.

Rory: LOOK AT ALL
THIS STUFF, MOM.

IT LOOKS LIKE A HALL OF FAME.

WE'RE ALL GONNA
HAVE A NICE TIME.

WE'RE ALL GONNA HAVE FUN.

- CATE!
- OH, GOD.

STILL HAVING FUN, MOM?

- HI, TOMMY.
- SOME TURNOUT, HUH?

EVERYBODY LOVED
PAUL. EXCEPT THAT GUY.

TOMMY, I NEED YOUR HELP.

WHO IS THIS WOMAN
THAT KEEPS WAVING AT ME?

YOU MET HER A HUNDRED
TIMES. SHE'S BEEN HERE FOREVER.

- WELL, WHAT'S HER NAME?
- BOOBS FROM RECEPTION.

- THANK YOU, TOMMY.
- DE NADA.

- CATE!
- YOU!

ARE YOU ALL OKAY?

OH, YEAH, WE'RE FINE.

I'M NOT DOING SO HOT.

SO, ON BEHALF OF MY HUSBAND,

I REALLY WANT TO SAY THANK YOU

TO ALL OF YOU HERE
AT "THE DETROIT POST."

IT WOULD HAVE WARMED HIS
HEART, ESTABLISHING A SCHOLARSHIP

FOR HIGH SCHOOL SENIORS TO
PURSUE A DEGREE IN JOURNALISM

AT THE COLLEGE OF THEIR CHOICE.

SORRY, PAUL, THAT
INCLUDES OHIO STATE.

ANYWAY, THANK YOU.
THANK YOU SO MUCH.

LUCKY ME. I HAVE TO
FOLLOW THE WIDOW.

I FIRST MET PAUL HENNESSY WHEN WE
WERE SPORTS WRITERS HERE TOGETHER.

HE WAS A SPORTS NUT,

AND HE WOULD HAVE
BEEN PROUD TODAY,

BECAUSE CATE JUST INFORMED ME

HIS LITTLE GUY RORY THERE

JUST MADE THE SCHOOL
BASKETBALL TEAM. HUH?

YOU TOLD HIM? AND NOW
HE TOLD EVERYBODY HERE?

WELL, YOUR FATHER
WOULD HAVE WANTED...

IS THERE ANYTHING DAD
WOULDN'T HAVE WANTED?

- RORY.
- NO. LET HIM GO.

CURTIS, THIS IS RORY'S MOM.

HAVE YOU SEEN HIM TONIGHT?

IF YOU DO, WOULD YOU
HAVE HIM CALL ME? THANKS.

YOU HAD TO SAY "LET HIM GO."

I THOUGHT HE'D BE RIGHT BACK.

YEAH, I KNOW.

WHY DO YOU THINK HE
JUST RAN OUT LIKE THAT?

MAYBE THE EVENT GOT TO
HIM. HE WAS PRETTY EMOTIONAL.

I KNOW I NEEDED
MY SHARE OF HUGS.

I'M GONNA CALL HIS
BASKETBALL COACH.

MAYBE HE'S HANGING OUT
WITH SOME OF THOSE KIDS.

COACH'LL HAVE A ROSTER.

HI. IS COACH ROONEY THERE?

SURE, I'LL HOLD.

MAYBE THAT'S HIM.

HI.

OH, HI, HELEN.

I HOPE I'M NOT TROUBLING YOU.

I JUST WANTED TO STOP BY AND
SEE HOW YOU FOLKS WERE DOING.

HOW AM I DOING?

MY SON'S MISSING.
MY HUSBAND'S DEAD.

I HAVE A FREEZER FULL
OF CASSEROLES. YOU?

YOU'RE GONNA WANT TO PUT
THIS ON 350 FOR 45 MINUTES.

- THANKS.
- OKAY.

- WHAT?
- THEY MEAN WELL, HONEY.

I KNOW, BUT I'M STARTING TO FEEL
LIKE I'M IN SOME KIND OF CIRCUS

AND THE PRICE OF
ADMISSION IS A CASSEROLE:

STEP RIGHT UP, SEE
THE GRIEVING WIDOW.

- OH, CATE.
- EVERY TIME I START
TO FEEL LIKE I'M OKAY,

SOMEONE REMINDS ME
THAT I LOST MY HUSBAND.

IT'S LIKE GETTING
PUNCHED IN THE STOMACH.

YOU'RE ENTITLED
TO FEEL THAT WAY.

BUT THEY'RE ENTITLED
TO MISS PAUL TOO.

YOU GOTTA GIVE THEM THAT.

IT'S YOUR FAULT YOU MARRIED
A MAN WHO'S SO WELL-LIKED.

OKAY, WOULD YOU JUST YELL AT
ME FOR RUINING YOUR COLLAGE?

I CAN'T TAKE THIS
TENSION ANYMORE!

WHAT TENSION?

OKAY, THAT'S IT.

KERRY, I JUST CANNOT
LIVE WITH MYSELF, SO...

WHAT ARE YOU DOING? STOP!

THERE! I RUINED YOUR COLLAGE,
NOW I RUINED MY FAVORITE TOP.

GOD, WE'RE EVEN. I
CAN FINALLY BREATHE.

THAT WAS MY TOP.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING
ABOUT? I WEAR IT ALL THE TIME.

BECAUSE YOU BORROWED IT
AND YOU DIDN'T GIVE IT BACK.

OH, YEAH. THEN
YELL AT ME FOR THAT.

WE'RE NOT FIGHTING
ANYMORE, REMEMBER? FOR MOM.

BESIDES, IT WAS AN ACCIDENT AND I
KNOW YOU FELT REALLY REALLY BAD.

I DID FEEL REALLY BAD...

EXCEPT FOR THE LITTLE
PART OF ME THAT DIDN'T.

YOU HAVE MY ATTENTION.

IT'S JUST THAT WHEN
IT HAPPENED, I WAS...

KIND OF GLAD.

GO ON.

ALL I KNOW IS WHEN
I SAW YOUR COLLAGE

I WAS SO TOTALLY IMPRESSED,

AND SO TOTALLY JEALOUS.

JEALOUS?

TOTALLY.

YOU AND DAD HAD
SO MUCH IN COMMON.

HE WAS A WRITER,
YOU'RE AN ARTIST.

YOU HAD THIS SPECIAL CONNECTION,

'CAUSE YOU GUYS WERE
SO MUCH ALIKE, AND...

WE JUST WEREN'T.

YOU IDIOT!

ARE YOU BLIND?

- NOW YOU'RE YELLING AT ME.
- BECAUSE I'M MAD!

GOOD, FINALLY. GO WITH THAT.

YOU AND DAD HAD A
SPECIAL CONNECTION!

YOU KNOW HOW WHEREVER HE WENT
HE WOULD LIGHT UP THE WHOLE ROOM?

YOU TOTALLY DO THAT!

WHEN PEOPLE MEET YOU
THEY INSTANTLY LIKE YOU

AND THEY WANT TO
BE FRIENDS WITH YOU,

JUST LIKE THEY DID WITH HIM!

HOW CAN YOU NOT SEE
THAT? ARE YOU THAT STUPID?

I KNOW THIS IS SUPPOSED
TO BE A PEP TALK,

SO COULD YOU, LIKE,
STOP CALLING ME STUPID?

- WELL, YOU ARE!
- IT TAKES ONE TO KNOW ONE!

HAVE YOU HEARD A WORD I'VE SAID?

YES, I HEARD YOU! I'M LIKE DAD!

THAT WAS SWEET! THANK YOU!

YOU'RE WELCOME!

AND THANK YOU FOR GOADING
ME INTO FIGHTING WITH YOU

WHEN I'M TRYING TO
BE A BETTER PERSON.

- BUT OBVIOUSLY I'M NOT.
- OBVIOUSLY.

BUT I'M GLAD WE CLEARED THE AIR.

BESIDES, SISTERS ARE
SUPPOSED TO FIGHT.

YOU KNOW THE MOST IMPORTANT
THING WE LEARNED FROM THIS?

RIGHT. DAD WOULD WANT US
TO EXPRESS OUR TRUE FEELINGS.

NO, I GOT YOU TO GET MAD WHEN
YOU SAID YOU WEREN'T, SO I WIN.

I ALWAYS WIN.

I CALLED EVERYWHERE.

WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?

OH, RORY.

DON'T PULL STUNTS LIKE THAT.

I WAS SO WORRIED.

I'M SORRY.

I SHOULDN'T HAVE RUN
OUT OF THERE. I JUST...

I THINK I KNOW WHY.

YOU DO?

I SPOKE TO COACH ROONEY.

OH, NO. HE TOLD YOU I
DIDN'T MAKE THE TEAM.

HOW COME YOU DIDN'T TELL ME?

I DON'T KNOW.

I KEPT HEARING FROM YOU IT'S
WHAT DAD WOULD HAVE WANTED.

I WAS EMBARRASSED.

- DID I PUT THAT KIND
OF PRESSURE ON YOU?
- NO NO NO NO.

WELL, YEAH.

LOOK, WHAT YOUR DAD
WOULD HAVE WANTED

WAS FOR YOU TO
HAVE FUN AND BE HAPPY

LIKE ANY OTHER 14-YEAR-OLD KID.

GREAT. NOW I HAVE TO
HAVE FUN AND BE HAPPY.

- I DON'T FEEL HAPPY.
- OKAY, OKAY.

I'M GONNA STOP SAYING WHAT
DAD WOULD HAVE WANTED.

THANKS.

RORY, COACH ROONEY
TOLD ME SOMETHING ELSE.

WHAT?

HE SAID THAT SINCE YOU WERE CUT,

YOU'VE SHOWN UP EVERY DAY AND
ASKED TO WORK OUT WITH THE TEAM

BECAUSE YOU
WANTED TO GET BETTER.

- SO?
- SO,

HE SAID YOU SHOWED
HIM SOMETHING.

AS OF NOW, YOU ARE ON THE TEAM.

- I AM?
- UH-HUH.

- ALL RIGHT!
- YEAH!

HE SAID THAT YOU
SHOWED HIM A LOT OF...

YOU KNOW, A LOT OF...

GOD, NOT A LOT OF HEART.

IT'S LIKE WHEN A GIRL TELLS
YOU SHE LIKES YOU AS A FRIEND.

NO, HONEY, IT WAS
STICK-TO-ITIVENESS... PERSEVERANCE.

- HEART.
- YEAH.

YOU KNOW, WHO CARES?
YOU MADE THE TEAM.

BUT IT'S NOT THE SAME.

DAD WAS SUCH A GREAT
ATHLETE ON ALL THESE TEAMS.

I WANT TO BE MORE THAN A
GUY THAT HAS A LOT OF HEART.

I WANT TO BE GOOD AT SOMETHING.

OH, HONEY.

YEAH, YOUR DAD PLAYED ON A
LOT OF TEAMS IN HIGH SCHOOL,

SOME GREAT TEAMS.

I KNOW. HE TOLD ME
A THOUSAND TIMES.

LET ME SHOW YOU
SOMETHING. COME HERE.

YOU SEE THIS?

YEAH. THAT'S THE TEAM PICTURE AFTER
THEY WON THE STATE CHAMPIONSHIP.

ALL RIGHT, NOW LOOK CLOSELY.

YOU SEE HOW THESE GUYS ARE ALL
SWEATY AND THEIR HAIR'S MESSED UP?

- MM-HMM.
- OKAY,
NOW THERE'S YOUR DAD.

NOT A HAIR OUT OF
PLACE, DRY AS A BONE.

I DON'T KNOW HOW TO
TELL YOU THIS, HONEY,

BUT YOUR FATHER ALSO
PLAYED WITH A LOT OF HEART.

HE WAS ON THE BENCH?

NOT ALWAYS.

THERE WAS THE
OCCASIONAL BLOWOUT...

YOU KNOW, GARBAGE TIME.

YOUR DAD LOVED SPORTS,

AND BECAUSE OF THAT LOVE
HE BECAME A SPORTS WRITER,

AND HE WAS REALLY
REALLY GOOD AT IT.

BUT YOUR DAD WOULD HAVE WANT...

WHAT I WANT

IS FOR YOU TO FIND SOMETHING
THAT YOU HAVE PASSION FOR.

I THINK I'M GONNA SIT ON THE BENCH
WITH THE REST OF THE GUYS ON THE TEAM,

JUST LIKE DAD.

THEN MAYBE WHEN I'M OUT OF
SCHOOL I CAN PURSUE MY PASSION.

AND WHAT'S THAT?

OH, I HAVE SOME IDEAS.

THAT KID'S GOT A LOT OF HEART.