8 Simple Rules (2002–2005): Season 2, Episode 15 - Opposites Attract: Part 3: Night of the Locust - full transcript

AND FINALLY, THE TOP LIBERTY
MILLS SCHOOL SCANDAL OF THE WEEK:

THE HONOR SOCIETY CLAIMED THAT
THEIR CAR WASH WAS A HUGE SUCCESS.

HO HO HO!

IT WASN'T.

Recorded voice: Oh, yeah!

THIS IS WEBMASTER X SIGNING OFF.

RORY... YOU DO DRUGS?

NO.

FOR A SECOND THERE
THIS ALL MADE SENSE.

I'M SHOOTING A SEGMENT
FOR MY WEBCAST.

WEBMASTER X... THAT'S ME.



YEAH. YOU KNOW, I WAS
GONNA CALL YOU "LOSER,"

BUT YOU SAVED IT
WITH THE ARM THING.

- SO HOW MANY HITS YOU GET?
- THAT'S THE THING.

I'M KIND OF HAVING TROUBLE
BUILDING A FOLLOWING.

MMM. YOU THINK IT'S 'CAUSE
YOU'RE REPORTING ON CAR WASHES

IN A MONKEY MASK?

DUDE, YOU GOTTA SPICE THINGS UP

IF YOU WANT TO GET
PAYING CUSTOMERS.

PAYING CUSTOMERS?
NO, MY WEBSITE'S FREE.

HA HA! NOT ANYMORE, PARTNER.

STEP ASIDE.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

I'M RIGGING YOU
UP A PAY WEBSITE.

THAT'S RIGHT. I NEED SOME QUICK MONEY
FOR AN INVESTMENT THAT WENT SOUR.



WHAT'D YOU INVEST IN?

THE PISTONS BY THREE.

I PROBABLY SHOULDN'T HAVE BET ALL
OF NEXT SEMESTER'S TUITION MONEY,

BUT COME ON! BY THREE!

I'M SO EXCITED FOR THE DANCE
THIS WEEKEND. AREN'T YOU?

YOU KNOW, I DON'T HAVE THE BEST
EXPERIENCES AT SCHOOL DANCES.

THE LAST ONE I WENT TO, I
SPENT MOST OF THE NIGHT

WITH MY FACE IN THE TOILET.

YOU WEREN'T DRINKING, WERE YOU?

NO, BUT I THINK THE SENIOR
HOLDING MY HEAD DOWN WAS.

YOU KNOW, CAN'T WE JUST
GO SEE A MOVIE INSTEAD?

JEREMY, DON'T TAKE
THIS THE WRONG WAY,

BUT HOBBITS ARE STUPID.

SEE, IF YOU'D JUST
READ THE BOOK FIRST...

HONEY, STUPID.

HOBBITS ARE NOT STUPID.

HEY, SHE'S GOT A NAME, OKAY?

HI, I'M BETH DOYLE!
AND YOU MUST BE...

WEIRD GIRL. TOO MUCH
ENERGY. CAN'T DEAL WITH IT.

OH HI, BETH.

HELLO, MRS. HENNESSY.

OUR FAMILY WON THIS CAKE
AT CHURCH FOR GOSPEL TRIVIA.

THANK YOU. ANYWAY, WE CAN'T
EAT IT BECAUSE IT HAS GLUTEN IN IT.

OH, BETH.

IS YOUR MOM TRYING
TO FATTEN ME UP?

ACTUALLY, YES. SHE THINKS
NOW THAT YOU'RE SINGLE,

YOU'RE A DISTRACTION TO DAD.

WELL, THAT'S SUPER.

HI, KERRY. HI, KYLE.

HI, BRIDGET. HI, LATEST.

LATEST?

OH, SHE DIDN'T TELL
YOU SHE'S HAD OTHERS,

LIKE MY BROTHER DONNY?

AND HE WAS HANDSOME
AND SENSITIVE AND SMART...

AND HE HAD PECS THAT LOOKED LIKE
THEY'D BEEN CARVED OUT OF MARBLE.

SHOULD YOU BE TALKING
ABOUT YOUR BROTHER LIKE THIS?

OH, IT'S OKAY.
WE'RE ALL ADOPTED.

ANYWAY, SHE DUMPED
DONNY AND BROKE HIS HEART

LIKE EVERY OTHER
GUY SHE'S EVER DATED.

BUT I'M SURE IT'LL BE
DIFFERENT FOR YOU. GOOD LUCK.

YEAH YEAH YEAH.

HEY, KEEP YOUR SHIRT ON.

HI.

- HI.
- IS CATE HERE?

I'M JUDY McKENNA WITH THE P.T.A.

YEAH, WELL THERE FOR A
MINUTE I THOUGHT OUR MAILMAN

GOT A HELL OF A LOT PRETTIER.

IS THAT JUDY?

WOULD YOU LIKE A DRINK?
WHAT ARE YOU, A SCOTCH GIRL?

OH, JUDY, I'M SORRY I
MISSED THE MEETING.

I FORGOT TO CALL BUT I
HAD TO WORK LATE AGAIN.

YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS
WHEN YOU MISS A MEETING, CATE.

THEY ELECTED ME AN OFFICER?

CONGRATULATIONS,
RECORDING SECRETARY.

HERE ARE YOUR MINUTES.

A BRANDY? HOW
ABOUT A BRANDY, JUDY?

UH, DAD, SHE
DOESN'T WANT A DRINK.

IS YOUR NAME JUDY?

THE MAIN THING THAT
WE TALKED ABOUT

WAS HOW INAPPROPRIATE
THE DANCING HAS BECOME.

SO THE P.T.A. HAS VOTED TO
OUTLAW PROVOCATIVE DANCING.

WHAT WOULD THAT LOOK LIKE, JUDY?

DAD.

HAVE YOU SEEN SOME OF
THE MOVES THAT THEY DO?

OH, I TELL YOU,
THE KIDS TODAY...

I DON'T KNOW WHERE
THEY GET THEIR VALUES.

GIN AND TONIC?

GIVE IT UP, CUSTER.
YOU'RE, LIKE, 100.

CHARDONNAY FOR THE LADY?

I THINK I'LL BE GOING NOW.

OOH, YOU WANT ME TO
WALK YOU TO YOUR CAR?

OKAY, SURE.

- WHAT A GENTLEMAN.
- HA HA.

TAKE IT EASY, SCARLETT. I
JUST NEED A RIDE TO MY DORM.

- HEY, GUYS.
- HI, KERRY.

LOOK, THE P.T.A. HAS
OUTLAWED SUGGESTIVE DANCING,

- SO WATCH IT AT THE DANCE.
- WHAT?

THAT'S RIDICULOUS. DANCING
IS A FORM OF EXPRESSION.

THE FIRST AMENDMENT PROTECTS
ANYONE WHO WANTS TO DANCE LIKE...

THIS OR... OR LIKE THIS.

UH... CATE, CATE, CATE!

STOP. OKAY?

I USED TO HOLD THAT IN MY ARMS.

KERRY, STOP IT!

LOOK, IT'S JUST A
NEW RULE. OBEY IT.

IT'S NOTHING TO GET
ALL WORKED UP ABOUT.

YEAH, EASY FOR YOU TO SAY.

OOH, I DON'T CARE WHAT THEY SAY!

I AM GONNA DANCE HOWEVER I WANT.

- I JUST THINK YOU'RE MISSING
THE IMPORTANT ISSUE HERE.
- WHAT?

BETH DOYLE WAS MEAN TO ME.

I MEAN, I HAVE REAL
FEELINGS FOR JEREMY.

BRIDGET, GET OVER
IT. YOU'RE FICKLE.

SURE YOU'RE MADLY
IN LOVE WITH JEREMY,

BUT YOU WERE ALSO
MADLY IN LOVE WITH DONNY

WHEN DAMIAN CAME ALONG.

DAMIAN?

I HAVE NO IDEA WHO
YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

- HEY.
- HEY.

SO WHAT TIME DO YOU WANT
ME TO PICK YOU UP ON SATURDAY?

SHE'S SPOKEN FOR!

YES, I AM SPOKEN FOR.

SO UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES
ARE YOU EVER...

TO CALL ME AT THIS PHONE NUMBER.

AND IF THIS NUMBER IS BUSY,

THIS PHONE NUMBER.

AND IF THIS NUMBER IS BUSY,
THIS CELL PHONE NUMBER.

AND IF YOU EVER
COME TO THIS ADDRESS

ON OAKDALE AVENUE,
WELL, YOU'LL BE STEPPING

INTO SOME VERY
HOT WATER, MISTER.

AND I MEAN HOT.

OKAY, YEAH, I ADMIT, I
MAY HAVE BEEN DRAWN TO

DAMIAN'S "DEVIL
DAYCARE" ATTITUDE

BUT JEREMY AND I CONNECT
AT A WAY HIGHER LEVEL.

WE HAVE SO MUCH IN COMMON.
WE TALK ABOUT BOOKS...

THAT HE'S READ.

BESIDES, I HEARD
DAMIAN MOVED AWAY.

SO YOU HAVE NO FEELINGS
FOR DAMIAN AT ALL?

I AM SO OVER HIM.

GOOD.

'CAUSE I HEARD HE
JUST MOVED BACK.

AND FINALLY, WE HAVE A
WEBMASTER EXCLUSIVE.

BRIAN MUNSON AND MEGAN GIBBS

PLAYED A LITTLE TONSIL
HOCKEY LAST NIGHT.

YES, THE SAME BRIAN MUNSON

WHO DATES MEGAN'S
BEST FRIEND ASHLEY COOKE.

MEGAN, "YOU GOT
SOME 'SPLAINING TO DO!"

SIGNING OFF, THIS
IS WEBMASTER X.

NICE. MUCH BETTER.

A LITTLE "COSMO
GIRL," BUT I LIKE IT.

SO WHO'S YOUR SOURCE?

I GOT IT FROM BRIDGET'S DIARY.

WHOA.

WAIT A SECOND.

YOU WENT INTO YOUR SISTER'S
ROOM, STOLE HER DIARY,

AND BROADCAST IT
ON THE INTERNET?

WELL, YEAH.

DUDE, PRETTY SOON
YOU'RE NOT GONNA NEED ME.

WHAT'S THE MATTER?

HMM? OH, I'M WORRIED
ABOUT CHEMISTRY.

OKAY, LOOK, I KNOW
DAMIAN IS IN BACK IN TOWN,

AND YES, WE HAD GREAT
CHEMISTRY, BUT IT'S SO OVER.

NO, I MEANT I'M WORRIED
ABOUT MY CHEMISTRY TEST.

BUT THANKS, NOW I'M WORRIED
ABOUT YOUR OLD BOYFRIEND INSTEAD.

KERRY, GET THAT.

I'M BUSY. LET THE
MACHINE PICK UP.

Hey, it's Damian.

I've been looking for you...

and dreaming about you.

Sorry I missed you.

Well, I gotta go meet
up with my posse.

Call me.

BRIDGE, DAMIAN CALLED.

WELL, I GOTTA GO.

NO, JEREMY, WAIT,
IT'S NOT WHAT IT SEEMS.

HOT GUYS LEAVE MESSAGES
FOR ME ALL THE TIME.

NO, SERIOUSLY, I GOTTA
GO MEET UP WITH MY POSSE.

OOH. CHESS CLUB?

OH, I GET IT: THE NERD
GOES TO CHESS CLUB.

ROCKET CLUB?

NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.

HEY, I'M WATCHING THAT.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU? A
HAWK TRY TO SCOOP YOU UP AGAIN?

I'M LOOKING FOR SOME
NEW DANCE MOVES,

YOU KNOW, TO TICK OFF
THE MORALITY POLICE.

REALLY?

WELL...

WHY DIDN'T YOU COME TO
THE MASTER OF DANCE-ASTER?

ALL RIGHT, DON'T BEG.
YOU'LL GET TO SEE A FEW.

START OUT WITH A
LITTLE "THRILLER."

THAT'S A FUN ONE. THEN YOU
GO INTO A LITTLE M.C. HAMMER

TO SHAKE IT UP A BIT.

STOP! STOP!

THEN YOU GO MISSY ELLIOTT
JUST TO GET A LITTLE NASTY.

♪ OOH! ♪

C.J.?

- C.J.?
- HEY!

HI. SO IF ANYONE ASKS
YOU TO DANCE LIKE THAT,

YOU SAY NO. I MEAN, THIS IS
SERIOUS. YOU SAW "FOOTLOOSE."

HEY, I GOT YOUR BACK, AUNT CATE.

THANKS, C.J., BUT
WE GOT IT COVERED.

SO GRANDPA AND I ARE GOING
TO CHAPERONE THE DANCE.

YOU'RE CHAPERONING
THE DANCE? WHY?

WELL, BECAUSE I WANT
TO STAY MORE INVOLVED.

AND JUDY COULD
USE AN EXTRA HAND.

YES, I WAS CALLING DAMIAN BACK.

IT WOULD BE RUDE NOT TO.

EVERYONE KNOWS I ALWAYS
RETURN MY MESSAGES.

STOP GRILLING ME!

YOU STILL LIKE HIM.

NO, I JUST WANTED
TO HEAR HIS VOICE...

AND THE GUITAR.

- WHAT GUITAR?
- YOU DON'T HEAR...

OH MY GOD.

KERRY, WHAT IS HAPPENING
TO ME? I'M SO MIXED UP.

I'M WITH THIS FANTASTIC GUY AND THEN
DAMIAN HAS TO COME BACK INTO MY LIFE.

AND SOMEONE STOLE MY DIARY.

BRIDGET, IT'S NOT YOUR
FAULT YOU'RE FICKLE.

I AM NOT. IN FACT,

I'M ONLY THINKING OF
JEREMY STARTING NOW.

OKAY, STARTING NOW.

DUDE, WE'RE WAY DOWN ON HITS.

AT THIS RATE, I'LL
NEVER GET OUT OF DEBT.

THAT'S YOUR PROBLEM.

I'LL HAVE TO DROP OUT OF
COLLEGE AND MOVE BACK IN HERE.

THAT'S MY PROBLEM.

DON'T PANIC, AWKWARD STAGE.

THERE'S GOT TO BE SOMETHING JUICY IN
BRIDGET'S DIARY TO GET OUR CUSTOMERS BACK.

LET'S SEE.

"TODAY OUR COUSIN C.J.
CAME TO STAY WITH US.

HE'S, LIKE, TOTALLY CREEPY
AND SMELLS LIKE MOLD."

BLAH BLAH BLAH...
"I SO HATE HER."

BLAH BLAH BLAH...
"I SO LOVE MY HAIR."

"TODAY ASHLEY HEARD ABOUT
MEGAN KISSING BRIAN MUNSON.

ASHLEY'S SO UPSET, SHE'S GONNA KICK
MEGAN'S ASS AT THE DANCE TONIGHT."

HAY HOO HEE HEE!

OH MY GOD, BINGO. THAT'S IT.

WE BROADCAST A LIVE CHICK
FIGHT ON THE INTERNET...

WITH THIS LITTLE BABY.

- WHERE'D YOU GET THAT?
- IN THE ARMY.

THEY LET YOU TAKE
STUFF WHEN YOU LEAVE.

YOU KNOW, COMBS, DUFFEL BAGS...

MILLION-DOLLAR
TOP-SECRET SPY CAMERAS?

BOOTS, TRAIL MIX. YEAH.

ALL WE GOTTA DO IS GET THIS

INTO THE DANCE SOMEHOW.

COME ON, DAD. WE'RE GONNA
BE LATE FOR THE DANCE.

- I'M COMING. I'M COMING.
- GRANDPA?

WAIT. I GOT SOMETHING FOR YOU.

WELL, THANK YOU, RORY.

KIND OF SISSY OF
YOU, BUT THANK YOU.

NO, THANK YOU, GRAMPYCAM.

UGH! LOOK AT ALL THESE LEMMINGS.

I MEAN, I CAN'T BELIEVE
THESE PEOPLE ARE ACTUALLY

LISTENING TO THE P.T.A.

THERE'S NO BUMPING,
NO GRINDING...

AND NO CHICKEN DANCE.

WHAT COWARDS.

HI, GUYS.

WHAT?

HONEY, I AM SORRY THAT YOUR
GRANDFATHER AND I ARE CHAPERONES.

AND I'M SORRY, KYLE, THAT
IT MAKES IT HARDER FOR YOU

TO PUT THE MOVES ON MY DAUGHTER.

HEY, YOU'RE JUST DOING YOUR JOB,

AND I'M DOING MINE.

OKAY, KYLE, I'M NOT KIDDING.

YOU KNOW, I DON'T
REALLY NEED THIS CANE.

IT'S JUST A WALKING STICK.

OH, IT'S NICE. MAY I SEE IT?

OH, SURE. SURE.

SO ARE YOU HAVING A GOOD TIME?

YES, I HAVE TO ADMIT THAT I AM.

MM. WELL, THEN SAY IT.

- DON'T MAKE ME.
- YES. SAY IT RIGHT NOW. COME ON.

OKAY. THIS DANCE IS BETTER
THAN THE BATTLE OF MORDOR.

WOW, I MUST LIKE YOU A LOT.

I MEAN, I NEVER SAY ANYTHING
DISPARAGING ABOUT THE "RINGS."

WHOO.

I NEED PUNCH.

WOW.

HE'S SO CUTE.

YOU'RE SO INTO HIM.

YEAH.

DAMIAN.

BRIDGET, IT'S JUST A MOTORCYCLE.

IT'S DOESN'T MEAN THAT
IT'S DAMIAN'S MOTORCYCLE.

DAMIAN'S OUTSIDE.

BRIDGET, HE WANTS TO SEE YOU.

WELL, IF HE WANTS TO SEE ME,
WHY DOESN'T HE JUST COME INSIDE?

HE SAYS TOUGH GUYS DON'T DANCE.

THEN WHY DOESN'T HE JUST LEAVE?

HE SAYS TOUGH GUYS DON'T LEAVE.

DOESN'T HE KNOW I
HAVE A BOYFRIEND?

HE SAYS TOUGH GUYS DON'T CARE.

AND IF YOU WANT MY OPINION...

KYLE, PUNCH... NOW.

- HEY, NO GIRL'S GONNA...
- NOW!

RIGHT.

ALL RIGHT, KERRY, COVER FOR ME.

I'LL BE RIGHT BACK, OKAY?

BRIDGET! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

YOU'RE JUST GONNA
LEAVE JEREMY HERE?

I HAVE TO SEE DAMIAN TO MAKE
SURE THERE'S NOTHING THERE, OKAY?

I OWE IT TO JEREMY. I
MEAN, IT WOULD BE UNFAIR

IF I DIDN'T GO OUT AND
SEE DAMIAN RIGHT NOW...

UNFAIR AND INCONSIDERATE.

WOW. JEREMY'S A LUCKY LUCKY GUY.

I HOPE I DON'T FEEL ANYTHING FOR
DAMIAN, BUT I HAVE TO MAKE SURE.

BRIDGET, WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

NOWHERE! GOD, WILL EVERYONE
JUST GET OFF MY BACK?

YOU'RE STILL HERE? DO YOU
KNOW WHO'S WAITING OUTSIDE...

FOR YOU... ON A MOTORCYCLE?

DAMIAN?

YOU ARE LIKE SCARY SMART.

JEREMY, I CAN
EXPLAIN ALL OF THIS.

NO, YOU DON'T HAVE
TIME TO EXPLAIN.

TOUGH GUYS DON'T
WAIT AROUND FOREVER.

- KYLE, GO!
- BUT WAIT, THIS IS
THE GOOD PART.

LOOK, BRIDGET, IF THERE'S SOMEONE
OUTSIDE THAT YOU NEED TO TALK TO,

YOU KNOW, GO AHEAD.

BUT JUST REMEMBER,

YOU KNOW, SMART GUYS DON'T
WAIT AROUND FOREVER EITHER.

OF COURSE, YOU KNOW, SMART GUYS WILL WAIT
AROUND A LITTLE BIT LONG THAN TOUGH GUYS.

BRIDGET?

BRIDGET?

YEAH?

YOU OKAY?

YES.

LET'S GO DANCE.

SURE.

WHAT IF THIS CHICK
FIGHT DOESN'T HAPPEN?

THEN YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO
EXPLAIN TO YOUR CLASSMATES

WHY YOU MADE 'EM PAY TO SEE YOUR
GRANDPA GO TO THE BATHROOM FIVE TIMES.

OH, HERE IT COMES!

OH, CHICK FIGHT!

IN FIVE, FOUR, THREE, TWO, ONE.

Jim: You enjoying the
dance, Miss McKenna?

Oh, yes, Jim.
Please call me Judy.

WHAT'S HE DOING?
GRANDPA, TURN YOUR BODY!

YOU'RE MISSING IT! OH MY GOD.

IT'S EITHER MISS McKENNA
OR THE BATHROOM.

Girl: You skank! You
stole my boyfriend!

Let go of me!

THEY'RE MISSING THE WHOLE FIGHT.

I'M NOT GIVING THE MONEY BACK.

Oh my God, look at the
way that girl is dancing.

Jim: Get over here.
That's... KERRY!

THIS COULD WORK.

KERRY, KNOCK IT OFF!

KERRY!

EXCUSE ME. KERRY, KERRY, KERRY!

WELL, EXCUSE ME, BUT WHY IS MY
DAUGHTER DANCING ON A CELL PHONE?

IT'S AN INTERNET
FEED. IT'S WEBMASTER X!

BUT WHO IN GOD'S
NAME IS FILMING THIS?

Jim: HAVE YOU SEEN WHAT
YOUR DAUGHTER IS DOING?

OUCH! DAMN CARNATION
KEEPS SHOCKING ME.

RORY, YOU ARE SO DEAD.

DUDE, YOU ARE SO DEAD.

OOH, THEY CAN GET AN
ITTY-BITTY CAMERA IN THERE?

I'LL BE DAMNED.

WELL, I GUESS IF THEY CAN
GET A SNAPSHOT OF MY COLON...

SO, KERRY, ABOUT THIS DANCING...

MOM, I'M SORRY. I'LL NEVER
DANCE LIKE THAT AGAIN.

OH, NO NO NO, I WAS GONNA SAY

I DIDN'T REALIZE YOU WERE
SUCH A GREAT DANCER.

YOU KNOW, I DID THIS SO THAT
I COULD BE MORE INVOLVED.

BUT YOU DO REALIZE
THAT THEY WILL NOW NEVER

LET ME CHAPERONE A DANCE AGAIN.

THANK YOU.

SO I HAD A REALLY
GOOD TIME TONIGHT.

ACTUALLY, IT KIND OF SEEMED LIKE
YOU WERE SOMEPLACE ELSE ALL NIGHT.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN? DAMIAN WAS
OUTSIDE AND I DIDN'T GO OUT TO SEE HIM.

I STAYED WITH YOU.

WELL, THAT'S ONE INTERPRETATION.

ANOTHER IS THAT YOU STAYED
WITH ME BECAUSE HE LEFT.

OH, POTATO POTATO.

LOOK, ALL THAT MATTERS IS
THAT WE'RE TOGETHER NOW.

LET ME JUST ASK
YOU ONE QUESTION,

AND I SWEAR I'LL NEVER
BRING IT UP AGAIN:

DO YOU STILL HAVE
FEELINGS FOR DAMIAN?

I THINK I JUST GOT MY ANSWER.

NO, WAIT. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

LOOK, BRIDGET, YOU DIDN'T GET
ON DAMIAN'S MOTORCYCLE TONIGHT.

BUT ANOTHER NIGHT,
ANOTHER MOTORCYCLE.

YOU DON'T KNOW
WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN.

YOU CAN'T TELL ME
HOW I'M GONNA FEEL.

LOOK, I DON'T KNOW A
LOT ABOUT GIRLS, OKAY?

BUT I DID SEE THAT
LOOK ON YOUR FACE

WHEN YOU FOUND OUT DAMIAN
WAS OUTSIDE WAITING FOR YOU.

I MEAN, YOU NEVER
GAVE ME THAT LOOK.

OH, NO?

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

GIVING YOU THAT LOOK.

NOPE, THAT'S NOT IT.

THAT'S NOT IT EITHER.

LISTEN, BRIDGET, BEFORE YOU
CAN BE IN A REAL RELATIONSHIP,

I THINK YOU HAVE SOME
STUFF YOU NEED TO WORK OUT.

THIS IS NOT HOW BETH
DOYLE SAID IT WOULD END.

AND STAY AWAY FROM RORY!

I'M SORRY! BUT CAN I STILL
BRING MY LAUNDRY BY TOMORROW?

I'M KIDDING. I'LL
SEE YOU AT DINNER.

HEY, ARE YOU OKAY?

JEREMY DUMPED ME.

OH. I'M SORRY.

I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE THIS.

I'M ALL ALONE. I'VE
NEVER BEEN ALL ALONE.

OH NO, HONEY. NAH.

YOU'RE NOT ALONE. COME HERE.

MOM, THAT'S DAMIAN.

GET OFF, GET OFF! GO GO GO!

- RIGHT NOW! GET OUT!
- GEE, THAT DIDN'T TAKE LONG.

HEY.

HEY.

I THOUGHT TOUGH GUYS
DON'T WAIT AROUND FOREVER?

WE DON'T. LET'S GO.

WHAT'S WRONG?

I DON'T HEAR GUITARS ANYMORE.

OH, NO?

THERE'S NOTHING SEXY
ABOUT A HARD-BOILED EGG.

THERE IS IF YOU'RE
DEATHLY ALLERGIC.

GOOD NIGHT, DAMIAN.

GOOD NIGHT, JEREMY.

I THOUGHT SMART
GUYS WAITED AROUND.