7th Heaven (1996–2007): Season 6, Episode 21 - Holy War: Part 1 - full transcript

We're here to go over

the final preparations

for your wedding ceremony
tomorrow.

The wedding ceremony
that will forever bond you

to my... my lovely

and, uh... only daughter

until... death.

Death.

Any second thoughts?

Dad, I thought
you were okay

with Matt and me
and the wedding?



Who's not okay?
I just asked a question.

I can't ask a question?

Dad.

So it looks like

you two are going to, uh...

go through with this.

All righty, then.

Moving on.

I want to thank you

for including me, Richard.

I-I know that Matt
and Sarah have agreed

to have you marry them
in your synagogue,

and it would have been easy
to leave me out but, instead,

you've graciously
included me in the ceremony.



You know what?
The more the merrier.

Hey, know what I did?
I took the liberty

of typing out
an outline

of the wedding ceremony
for each of you,

so, uh... we all can...

be on the same page,
so to speak.

Uh... first, we'll start
with, uh, the opening remarks.

And, uh... hey,

I'll handle that.
Then I will,

uh... I'll bless the couple,
and I'll explain

the chuppah and, uh...

then I perform
this sort of general blessing,

which is called
the Shehecheyanu.

And then comes
the rabbi's remarks.

I'll do those

because I'm the rabbi.

And then I will

do the blessing over the wine--
I'll take that.

And then you two
exchange vows,

which will be lead by... by me.

And then
you exchange

the rings, which is lovely,

and that will
be led by me

again.

And I think you're
almost halfway home.

Yeah. You light the candle,

I'll do the seven wedding
blessings.

Then I'll do the pronouncement

and the benediction,
and I'll explain

the Yichud and then, Matt,

you break the glass.

And then God help us all...

...you two will be married.

I'm sorry.

I thought this was going
to be an interfaith ceremony?

Oh, it is.

But you just described a...

you know, a typical
Jewish wedding ceremony.

So what makes it interfaith?

My daughter
isn't marrying a Jew.

It doesn't get
more interfaith than that.

What am I supposed to do?

You... you hold the candle.

The candle that...
that Matt and Sarah

light during the ceremony.

And it's beautiful, the candle.
It's sacred.

It's handmade.

I-I don't say anything.

You hold the candle.

I-I don't do anything.

You hold the candle.

I'm sorry. Is there a problem?

No. No problem.

Good.

Ugh.

Ah...

Dad,

you have to give
Matt's father

more to do
than hold a candle.

You know, thi-this isn't
a good sign, you know,

Matt having you fight
his father's battles for him.

This isn't a battle.

It's a wedding.

Are you sure you really want

to go through with this?
You got me.

It's all a joke.

I'm not getting married.

Matt and I are just
big practical jokers,

and we thought we'd
have fun tormenting

our families for three months.

Gotcha!

Don-Don-D-Don't tease
your father.

You know I don't like that.

Then don't ask
ridiculous questions.

I love Matt, I'm marrying Matt,

and I think that, unless
you're trying to cause trouble

by leaving Matt's dad
out of the ceremony,

that you'll find it
in your heart,

in that big,
beautiful,

generous heart of yours

to give Reverend Camden
something else to do

besides holding a candle.

Well, I know
that we're short an usher.

But...

Oh, n-n-no, I-I-I-I'll...

I'll see
what I can do.

I have got to
get to work.

Please, just tell me
what I did.

I have to have done something.

In the past week,

you haven't returned
any of my phone calls.

I've been busy.

I've got school, I've got work,

and I'm not in training anymore,
I'm a flight attendant.

I know that.

And you're a fireman.

And... maybe I didn't call

because our schedules
just don't match up.

Is it our schedules or us?

I don't have time for this.

What about Matt's wedding?

I'm going to be there.

I'm flying in tonight.

I thought you wanted me
to take you.

Are you trying
to break up with me?

All I am trying to do
is get to work.

I-I'll call you later
and we'll talk, I promise.

If you just tell me
what you want...
I want

to get to work.

Okay, I'll go,

but eventually you're going to
have to tell me what's going on.

No, no, no, no.

I said lilies of the valley,
not calla lilies.

Calla lilies equal death.

Lilies of the
valley equal life.

This is a wedding.

We want life.

Give me life.

Oh, hi, Rosina, I just stopped
by to see if I can help or...

No, thank you, Annie.

The tradition--

the bride's family takes care
of the wedding.

Besides, you have
the rehearsal dinner.

You know, I was just planning
something sort of simple--

a pot luck in our backyard
for tonight.

It's sort of the tradition
at the church

with the savings passed on
to the groom for expenses.

That is a wonderful
Yeah. tradition.

Oh, you're new, right?
Yes, ma'am.

I heard they're planning

on serving pork spring rolls
as appetizers.

Mm-hmm.
Why don't
you go in the kitchen

and ask the guy
with the yarmulke

why you don't serve pork
to Jews?

Thanks.

You know
this will be

my first
rehearsal dinner?

How is that possible?

Well, in Richard's and my family
we don't have rehearsals,

so the dinner the night before
is just dinner.

It's a Jewish thing, you know.

Rabbis don't believe brides
and grooms should rehearse,

so no rehearsal means
no rehearsal dinner.

In my family, rehearsal dinner
is very big and important.

You know, it's the first time

that the extended families
get together

and, you know, you want
to make a good impression,

you want everyone
to have a good time.

No.

I am so looking forward
to this dinner tonight

and meeting
Eric's and your family,

and I can't wait for you
to meet my parents.

Of course, Richard's parents
can't be here until tomorrow,

but still

we'll have plenty of family
for you to meet.

We don't need a soup bowl.

Look at you.

I mean, I don't
know how you do it.

Me, I'm a mess,

and I have a day
to go, but you...

Rehearsal dinner's a lot
smaller than a reception.

Well, still,

dinner in your backyard
for 100 people.

Kosher dinner for 100 people.

100 people?

Richard and I both come
from pretty large families,

but we only included
aunts and uncles

and nieces and nephews
for the dinner.

100 people, that's...
that's not a problem, is it?

No, no problem.

In fact, I was expecting 200,

so this is half as much
for me to do.

How do you do it?

I don't know.

He has to choose me.

I'm clearly the best man
to be his... his best man.

Matt doesn't
have a best man?

He's been
really busy lately

and he's probably
just forgotten to tell me

that he wants me
to be his best man.

But it is the day
before the wedding.

I know.

That's why he needs to hurry up
and tell me already.

But what if...

I'm just saying
maybe Matt has forgotten

to tell you
he asked someone else.

You know,
maybe you should ask him.

Well, I don't want to seem
like I'm begging.

He should tell me.

What, you didn't think
he'd ask...?

No, but...

Look,

you're like family
and we like you

and we're all glad
that you're living here,

but I'm the actual brother.

You know, i-if anyone's going
to be Matt's best man,

it's going to be me.

You see,
this best man stuff,

it's a brother thing.

You know, when Matt asks me
to be his best man,

it'll be like he's passing
the older brother baton,

and I'm ready to run with it.

Me, not you.

Hello Kitty, Mommy's home.

Now that Matt is leaving,

I am reclaiming
what was once mine--

this room
and all the kitties I can see.

You can move
to the garage.

You've always wanted the garage.

Do you remember
when everyone wanted the garage?

I never wanted the garage.

This room feels like home to me,

well, because it
is home-- my home--

so sorry, but I'm not leaving.

Now, hold on.

I like you
and I'm glad you live here,

but if you think
that I'm going to continue

to share a crowded attic room
with Mary and Lucy

while you-- a non-Camden--
get the luxury

of enjoying
a spacious room

all by yourself, you've got
another "think" coming.

You can't kick me out
of my own room.

Ouch.

No matter how much I like you,

I just can't pick up
and move to Glenoak.

My family's in Buffalo.

My job is in Buffalo.

I want to be with you, but I
can't just give up my life.

So I should give up my life
and move to Buffalo?

I didn't say that, but it would
be nice if you considered it.

I already used up my one
"give up my life

and move across the country for
the man I love" trip on Jeremy.

I can't do it again.

Well, you can't ask me
to do something

that you're not willing
to do yourself.

- You still there?
- Yes.

I'm still here,
in Glenoak without you.

I have to go.

I have to get dressed
and then get to the airport

to pick up my grandparents.

They're coming in
for Matt's wedding.

Matt's wedding, the wedding
I invited you to but you said

you were too busy to attend.

I didn't say "busy;"
I said I had to work.

I can't come out to Glenoak
every weekend.

Can't or won't?

We should hang up
before one of us

says something
we're going to regret.

I agree.

Hey.

I, uh...

I got a message that
you wanted to see me?

Yeah, yeah.
Hav-Have a seat.

By the way, you're looking
at the Koufax of, uh,

of stickball.

Please, sit down.

It's good to see you.

Um...

You know, if this
is about my dad,

you should know
that he's perfectly okay

with the candle holding thing.

Oh, no, no, this has nothing
to do with your dad.

This is about you.

You know you've
talked a lot

about converting, you know,
to Judaism.

Are you ready?

Uh... yes.

Yes, I am.

Well, you know, I've been doing
a lot of thinking,

and, uh, if you really are ready
to convert,

I'm thinking
why not do it tomorrow

before the wedding ceremony.

You know, make
it like a...

double wedding, you know?

Marrying my daughter

and my religion
all on the same day.

Well, is that even possible?

Well, you know even
if my synagogue
was conservative,

you know, or orthodox,
once you make the decision

to convert, it's still
that simple, three-part process.

You got the milah,

the kabbalat mitzvot,
and of course

the mikveh.

But now that, you know,
you've been taking

all your conversion courses,
you know that in Reform Judaism,

those things are optional.

So really all that's
required from you

is basically a
public pledge

that you'll enter
into a covenant with God,

you'll establish a Jewish home,
of course,

and, uh, you know,
you'll stay active
in the synagogue.

And, hey, what's more public
than a wedding?

Your wedding.

I-I... guess I just
hadn't thought

I could do it this quickly.

Well, you can.

I mean, the only
thing that you'd have
to question is, uh,

whether you want to do it
or not.

So... what do you say?

You need to take Robbie
and Simon and the boys

and go pick up
their tuxedos.

I just got back
from seeing Sarah's father.

Look...

today, at the synagogue...

I know I was a little upset

but I just want you to
know I'll do whatever
you want me to do.

I'll be the best candle-holder
that synagogue ever saw.

Sarah's father has worked it out
so that tomorrow

before Sarah and I
get married...

I can convert,
and I'm going to do it.

What?

I thought you weren't
going to address this issue

until later, maybe when
you and Sarah had children

or after I was dead.

Well, I have my reasons,
and I'm ready to do this.

You can't seriously think
that in less than four months

you've studied and
researched Judaism--

a religion that's
thousands of years old--

well enough to convert.

I've been going to temple
with Sarah and her family

every Saturday since Sarah
and I got engaged.

And I've been attending
conversion classes and...

Oh, well,

I... oh, I didn't know that
you'd been to temple

like 15 times and
taken some classes.

Well, why didn't you say so?

Of course you're
ready to convert.

Just for your information,

converting just for
marriage is wrong.

Ask Sarah's father;
he'll agree with me.

Just tell me why
you have to be

the one to give up
your religion.

Why not her?

Ah...

Why anybody?
Why now?

I...

I'd better talk to Richard,
minister-to-rabbi.

What?

No, seriously.
If I can get

Rabbi Glass to agree with me,

will you hold off
on your decision

until you've had some
time to think about it?

Dad, promise me
you'll stay out of this

and you will not talk to Rabbi
Glass about me converting.

This is none
of your business.

Dad, please promise.

Stay out of this.

Fine, I won't say anything...

except that you're wrong.

We're ready to go.

Okay, let's go.

So, Matt, have you decided
on a best man yet?

Oh. Yeah, thanks
for reminding me.

Uh, John's out of town

so do you want to do it?

Well, yes or no?

Yeah, I guess.

All right.

Come on.

Mom told me Matt's going
to convert tomorrow

before the wedding.

Yeah, yeah,
isn't that...

isn't that great news?
Yeah.

First leaving Matt's dad out
of the wedding, and now this.

What are you up to?

What am I doing?
Am I twisting any arms here?

No. I... I made a suggestion,
and Matt agreed.

Th-This is Matt's decision,
not mine, honey.

Okay, Dad, if you're helping
Matt to convert tomorrow

purely because you think that he
is totally committed to it

and ready to enter
into a covenant between God

and Jewish people, then good.

But if,

like I suspect,
you're only doing this

as a last-ditch effort to try
to cause some sort of drama

that might cause my wedding
not to happen,

well, if that's
the case,

then let me tell you
Abraham himself

isn't going to be able
to protect you from my wrath!

I'm dead.

You're looking at a dead
woman and a stupid woman.

A stupid, dead woman.

Bad day, honey?

When Sarah said
just immediate family

for the rehearsal
dinner tonight,

well, I thought that
meant her and her parents

and her grandparents.

It doesn't?

Her immediate family
has 100 people.

We can't have 100 people
in our backyard.

An-And potluck
for 100 people!

Oh, I'm sorry--
kosher potluck.

Is there even
such a thing as that?!

The stupid part is
I didn't plan on kosher.

I just... I just...

What have I done?!

It's not that big a deal.
It's a huge deal.

It's the first time for the
extended family to get together,

and I'm not going
to mess this up.

I think we all
remember dinner at
Richard and Rosina's.

I think we all remember
my kugel.

My salty, unkosher,
made-Rosina-cry kugel.

I almost broke the family up
with one dish.

Imagine what I can do
with an entire meal!

Well, why don't you
just tell Rosina

you weren't expecting

a hundred people, maybe she can
lighten the list for you.

You want me
to ask her

to pick 20 people
from her family?

This is a rehearsal dinner;
it's not a lottery.

So what are you going to do?

change the party.

I'm going to call the pool hall,
uh, find a kosher chef.

I'm going to do
whatever I have to do,

because I am not going to ruin
this dinner with the Glasses.

So, how did things go
at the synagogue today?

All I get to do is hold
a stinking candle.

Oh, and Matt's

going to convert...
tomorrow before the ceremony.

Okay.

Well, I'm going to go change and
then I have phone calls to make.

I probably don't need
to say this,

but remember you said you
were going to let Matt

be an adult
and live his own life.

So let him live his own life.

If he wants to convert,
let him do it.

It's wrong.

Well, so is trying to stop him.

What are you doing?

Robbie's moving to the garage
so I can have my room back.

Ah, that's nice.

Yeah, isn't it?

Hello?

Hi, Lucy, it's Ben.

Hi.

I'm surprised to hear from you.

I need to talk to you
about Mary.

Okay.

Ever since she finished
her training

she's been pushing me away.

I-I think she wants
to break up with me.

Has she said anything to you?

No, she hasn't.

Do you have any idea what could
be going through her mind?

Maybe she's waiting for you
to take some action

that will prove to her
that you're willing

to be with her no matter what.

Maybe she's waiting for you

to make the relationship
more serious.

Maybe she's waiting for you
to give up something

to be with her, instead of
always having to be the one

to give up something to be
with the man she loves.

Maybe...

I'm talking about me and Kevin
and not you and Mary.

Do you think
your brother loves me?

It's a pretty big question.

You're right.

I shouldn't have asked.

I know he really cares for you.

I just don't know
if he's willing

to move across the country
for you.

Do you think he wants
to break up with me?

You know, because of
the long distance thing?

Kevin hasn't said anything to me
about breaking up with you.

This isn't fair.

You called me for help.

Maybe Mary's like you.

Maybe she wants a commitment,

but she doesn't want
to ask for it.

So what are you going to do?

Make a commitment.

Bye, Lucy.

Bye.

Matt!

I can take the guys home.

We'll see you back
at the house.

I don't need anything from
you, thank you very much.

I'll take the bus.

It's okay.

There you go.

Come on, guys.

What's wrong?

I talked to my dad.

I know what you're
planning on doing tomorrow,

and you don't have
to do it.

You should take some more time
and think about it.

It's your religion
we're talking about.

I don't need
any more time.

I'm ready now.

I-I've just been waiting for
my dad to get used to the idea,

but... I don't think
that's going to happen.

Matt, I love you,

but I can't ask you to give
up your religion for me,

when I know I could never give
up my religion for you.

No, you never asked me
to give up anything.

This has always been my
idea from the beginning.

And maybe in some
crazy way, even though

my dad's not ready for
it and your dad only

asked me to cause some kind
of problem, it's right.

Yes, I'm smarter
than I look.

Now maybe converting
will actually bring

our families together,
because we'll be together.

You and me, one
life, one religion.

But isn't our wedding enough
to deal with right now?

We're going to have to
deal with it sometime,

and like they say there's no
time like the present, right?

You don't think that this is
going to affect our wedding?

How about we stop talking about
the wedding and me converting

and start focusing
on the important things,

like our second honeymoon?

I thought we can't solve
all of our problems with sex.

I'm willing to try.

Look, everything
will be fine.

Promise?

Promise.

Rosina let me in.

Oh, hey...
oh, well...

I... I... I...
I expected you.

Well, I told Matt I'd stay
out of it, but I can't.

Let me guess, uh...
it's the, uh,

holding of the candle
or Matt converting?

Smart money's on conversion.

Matt is only changing religions

to please you and your wife
and Sarah.

And we both know
if that's true

then he shouldn't
convert, right?

Conversion is supposed to be a
matter of personal conviction.

You don't do it to
please someone, and it
shouldn't be the result

of undo pressures from
another person or persons.

Pressure.

Pressure?

With all due respect...

we would not be
in this situation

if your son did not pressure

my daughter into
an engagement

before she had any time
to figure out the impact

that this would have on her
life, my family's life.

Oh, if I remember correctly,

it was your daughter who asked
my son out for coffee.

So, if anybody's pressuring
anybody, she pressured him.

Yeah, but she's not the type to
just run off and get engaged.

Okay? That-That was all Matt.

And by the way, I think
that was the time period

when Matt was hunting for wives.

Hunting?

Hunting, shopping, looking...

I don't know. Whatever
you want to call it.

All I know is that my daughter
is just an innocent bystander.

Innocent.

I don't think so.

Your daughter is as much
to blame

for this engagement as Matt.

No, I... I think not, my friend.

Matt is not ready to convert.

Well, my daughter is not ready
to get married.

Neither is Matt.

Then why are they
getting married?

I'll tell you why.

Because your son forced my
daughter into it, that's why.

Take that back.

I don't think so.

This wedding should
not go forward.

Oh, mazel tov!

We finally agree
on something.

Fine.
Fine.

The wedding's officially
canceled.

I agree.

Thank God.

The next time I talk to Him,
I will.

Oh, yeah...

Oh, boy.

Was the bus
running slow today?

I told you you should
have ridden with us.

And you and I should talk.

I have nothing to say
to you or Matt.

Fine. Then I'm going
to take the boys upstairs

and get them cleaned up.

No, I'm going to take

my brothers upstairs and
get them cleaned up.

My brothers.
Mine.

No, no, no.

We want Robbie.

Robbie, Robbie.

Robbie, Robbie.

I didn't do anything.

Come on.

It's not my fault.
I didn't ask Matt.

Matt asked me.

But you said yes.

You knew how I felt
and you still said yes.

You should have said no.

And it doesn't matter
what Matt did.

What matters is what you did.

Let's face it, you want
to be his best man!

That's why you didn't say no.

And you only wanted to do it
after I told you I wanted

to do it, because you realized
the significance of it.

I told you you're not

really part of this family,

and being Matt's best man
won't change that.

Why are you acting this way?

Because you're tying
to steal my role

in this family,
and I'm not gonna let you do it.

I'm not trying to steal
anything or take anyone's place!

You know, I've had
that argument with Matt
for the past two years,

and I'm not gonna
continue it with you.

I just want to live here.
Now I'm sorry Matt asked me

and not you, but he did and it
doesn't mean anything, okay?

I'm just gonna
be his best man.
You're his brother.

Okay. Well, then good
luck with the speech.

What speech?

The speech you
have to make

as best man at the reception
in front of 200 people.

Oh, and did you confirm Matt
and Sarah's honeymoon plans?

Did you purchase
a gift for the groom?

Do you know who's gonna
be taking the gifts

to the reception?
Do you know if Matt has

all the necessary paperwork
for the ceremony?

Have you arranged for
transportation for you and Matt?

Because those are
just some of the things

that the best man
is responsible for.

Now I could help
you with the speech,

since I've already
got a speech written.

But you know what?

I don't think so.

You want to be best man?

Go ahead.
Be best man.

Write your own speech, because
you're no longer my...

my... whatever you were.

You're no longer it.

I'm sorry, but
can you tell me

when the flight from
Phoenix is due in?

In about two hours.

It got delayed.

I'm waiting
for that flight, too.

Uh, you can wait with me.

If you're waiting for your
husband, fiancé or boyfriend,

I'm gonna be very unhappy.

I'm waiting for
my grandparents.

I'm Doug.

I'm Lucy.

Who stole my room?

I told you--

I wanted my room back,
so I took my room back.

Where's all my stuff?

I moved it to your new home,
the garage apartment.

Of course,
if you feel more comfortable,

I took the liberty of saving

the rental section
of the paper.

Why are you doing this?

I want things
to be like they were.

And some things will never be
like they were.

But I can turn my room

back into how it was,
and what it was

was a room
that didn't have you in it.

You can't be serious.

I am. So if you

don't mind...?

Hello?

Annie.

Julie.

I'm sorry, I won't be able

to make your rehearsal dinner
tonight.

Oh, but I... I rented
the pool hall, and I...

I've hired a kosher caterer
and someone to decorate.

Annie, I'm having the baby.

Great.
Congratulations!

Do you need me or Eric
to come to the hospital?

No, no, no, no, no, no.

You have the rehearsal dinner
and the wedding.

We'll... we'll call you later.

We have to go.

I'm not delivering
this baby at home.

I want to deliver it at the
hospital like a normal doctor.

Are you sure you don't need me
to do anything?

Hank says everything
will be fine.

Everything is gonna be fine.
Now say good-bye, Julie.

Good-bye, Julie.

Hello?

Annie? Ginger.

Oh, Lucy already left
for the airport.

Uh, your father and I
might be a little late.

I don't want you to worry.

Worry about what?

Now, um...

airport security
is out looking for him.

I-I'm sure he just
wandered away, but, well...

I don't know if we're gonna make
our flight today.

What are you talking about?

I lost your father!

Mary!

Ben, what are
you doing here?

I wanted to give
you something.

What is this?

It's my high school ring.

I didn't have time to get you
a real engagement ring.

Uh... did... did you say
"engagement ring"?

I love you,
and I know you love me,

and I want you
to be my wife.

Mary Camden, will you marry me?

I... I think this is the part

where you say,
"Yes, Ben, I love you, too.

I will marry you."

I'm sorry, Ben. I...

I don't want to get married.

Then what do you want?

I want you to go home.

Isn't that bad luck
for me to see you

like that before
the wedding?

I've been looking for
you all over town.

I was in my final fitting when
my mom called to tell me that...

Wait, tell you what?

Your father canceled
our wedding.

And my dad said he agreed.
So it's canceled.

They... they can't cancel
our wedding.

Yet, they did.

Where's Mom?

She left for the pool hall.

You can't call off my wedding,

and you can't stop me
from converting.

Dad, you have to let
me live my life.

Okay, live your life.
Get married.

Just don't convert.

I... I know

this is not about religion.

This is about you not wanting
to let me grown up, but...

Oh, no, no, no, this...
this is about religion.

I don't want you to convert.

And just so you know,

it's not because you want
to convert to Judaism.

If you wanted to be
any other religion,

I would have
the same reaction.

And not because I think
our religion is better.

But because you...
you can't make a decision

as big as changing your faith
this quickly.

And if you weren't
getting married,

you wouldn't be thinking
about it,

would you?
Dad, you can't stop me.

Are you really gonna do this
tomorrow,

convert?

Yes.

Then it'll have to be
without me.

Wh... You know I'm...

I'm sorry, but I think
I just heard you tell me

you weren't coming
to my wedding.

Maybe if I don't go,
it'll give you some pause

and you'll rethink
your decision.

I can't believe
you'd do this to me.

Someday you'll thank me.

You're assuming that someday
I'll be talking to you again.

Oh, you know, tell Mom,

I'm sorry, but
I think under

the circumstances, Sarah and I
will skip the rehearsal dinner.

I don't think I want
to be around you right now.

Listen, Sarah...

I have tried
to make peace

with you marrying Matt

since the day
you brought him home.

But I have

to tell you,
in my heart of hearts,

regardless of how in love
that the both of you are,

I do not think that you can
rise above your differences

and get through medical school

and make this
marriage work,

and that why
I agree with Eric

that the wedding
should be canceled.

And not for me--

no, no, no--
for you and for Matt.

Because you both
deserve a future

without...
without these big, huge

roadblocks
in front of it.

Sarah, you're a Jew.

Matt's a Christian.

Big, huge roadblocks.

Dad, I am not canceling
my wedding.

I am marrying Matt tomorrow.

Then you're going
to have to do it without me.

What?!

You know, I never should have
told you that I could.

Really, you know, and,
quite frankly,

you know,
I never thought that...

that you and Matt
would make it this far.

Dad, you are not doing this.

You are not refusing to marry me
the day before my wedding!

I'm sorry.

I don't believe in the marriage,

and it would be wrong of me
as a rabbi

and as a father
to marry a couple

that I truly believe
shouldn't be together.

Dad!

Start calling everybody.

The wedding is canceled.

What about Annie?

What about the rehearsal dinner?

Forget about it.

The wedding is canceled.

Period!

Oh, please,

do something.

If Dad doesn't marry us
tomorrow,

then he's asking me to chose
between him and Matt,

and if I have to chose...

Oh, just do
something, Mom.

Your attention please.

All passengers
holding boarding passes

for a flight
to New York City...

I'm guessing the
answer was no.

I told you not to give her
that stupid class ring.

I don't understand.

I thought this
is what Mary wanted,

for me to make
a commitment to her.

What are you going to do now?

What are you going to do
about Lucy?

If I give in
and move to Glenoak,

won't I be starting a pattern
of always being the one

in the relationship
who gives things up?

All I know is if you love her,
don't give her up.

Do you love Mary?

I just humiliated myself

in front of a bunch
of strangers.

Yep, you're in love.

So what are we gonna do
about these

two women we're in love with?

Well, I don't know about you,

but I'm going to get
on a plane tonight

and fly back to Glenoak.

And tomorrow I'm going

to crash her brother's wedding
and figure out what's going on.

Because, God help me,
I do love her

and I will not let her go.

Why don't you buy two tickets?

I'll call the station,

see if they can get
a replacement for me.

You're coming with me?

We're brothers, aren't we?

Brothers in love
with a couple of nuts.

Flight 55

air shuttle to Rochester,
New York...

Flight Number 72

to Seattle is now boarding
at gate...

That was my dad.

They found my grandfather
at the Phoenix airport,

but he couldn't
get a flight in tonight.

So are you going
to have to leave now?

I could stay
and keep you company.

I mean, you kept me company.

How is that you don't
have a boyfriend?

I do have a boyfriend, kind of.

He's in Buffalo,
and I'm in Glenoak.

Long distance,
a relationship killer.

He wants me to move to Buffalo.

So you can enjoy those balmy,
gentle winters, huh?

Well, I'm a local guy.

That's one in my favor, right?

And I'm single,
so that's two in my favor.

I like Kevin,
that's the guy in Buffalo.

You didn't say "love,"
you said "like."

Now that's three in my favor.

When I get to five,
I'm asking you out.

I'm going to go get us
two coffees

and, hopefully, when I get back

you'll give me a chance
to get to five.

I'll give you a chance.

Would you like to go
to a wedding with me?

Isn't that a bit sudden?

No, not our wedding.

My brother's wedding.

I don't have a date.

What about the guy in Buffalo?

He's in Buffalo, right?

Come on, just tell me why,
when I know you love Ben,

you said no when he
asked you to marry him?

I'm sorry, did you want
apple juice or orange juice?

I want to know
why you said no.

Was it his parents?

Look, I don't know
why I said no, okay?

I don't.

Were you scared?

Stay out of it.

I'm not scared.

Maybe I am.

Maybe I finally
got my life together

and the last thing I need
is a guy that I love so much

that I'd be willing to give
anything up to be with him.

Or maybe I don't want

to give anything up.

Maybe I want to keep
everything I have.

Ben never asked you
to give up anything.

See, but first they ask you
to get married,

or get more serious with them.

And then they ask you
to give up things.

And then you're

so in love with them
you just do it.

And I already did that.

I don't want to do it anymore.
Are you saying you're

going to break up with him?

I don't know.

You know,
that's true.

Sometimes when you love a man,

you have to give up something
to keep him.

What did you ever give up
for me?

Who said I was
talking about you, hmm?

♪& ♪&

Hey! Boy, I am
so glad that

Matt asked me to be
in the wedding party.

And, Annie,

this party... is great.

Just great.
The food,

excellent.

The borscht,
well, the borscht

is just like what
I used to eat

when I lived
in a kibbutz

right outside
of Tel Aviv.

I lived in Israel
for a couple of years.

It was a long time ago.

I was young
and in love and, uh...

Uh, did you guys know that,

uh, Tel Aviv is considered

the San Francisco
of the Middle East?

Okay, guess not.

Well, you know, I don't know
if Matt told you,

but you really
have me to thank

for him
marrying Sarah.

Matt told me that
he wanted to get married.

And I told him,

"Hey, marry her, she's cute."

Next thing you
know, he does it.

Kid is nuts.

I love him.

Where is Matt
and Sarah and...

everyone else?

You guys didn't throw this
party for me, did you?

I mean, if you did,
very touched.

Is there something wrong?

If you don't mind
my saying so, uh,

the family looks
a little off tonight.

Robbie is not family,

and he's not
taking Matt's place.

You're not taking
Matt's place!

For the last time,

I'm not trying
to take anyone's place!

Why don't you just move out?

I think that would be best
for everyone.

You can't kick me out
of the place

I've called home
for the past two years.

I'd like to introduce you

to a little friend of mine
I like to call reality.

Hello?
I've already kicked you out.

I'm just waiting for you
to leave.

He's leaving,

and I'm taking my room back.

I guess it's just me,

'cause everything here
looks right as rain.

Yikes.

Deep Purple.

"Smoke on the water".

Yeah, they're
playing our song.

Ooh!

Did I ever tell you about
the time I toured with
Deep Purple?

Well, it wasn't so
much of a tour

as, I followed them around
in a van for a year

but we, we had some... we
had some great times

uh, I remember once
we all got...

uh, uh, um...you know i'm
going to save that

and tell you two
another time.

And, uh,
let's dance.

Okay,

I know why Mary and Lucy

and Hank and Julie
aren't here.

I know why the Colonel
and Ruth aren't here.

I know why Ginger and
my dad aren't here.

What I don't know

is where Matt
and Sarah are,

where Rabbi Glass
and Rosina are,

and where the rest of...

Sarah's family is.

What did you do?!

And will I be able
to forgive you

when I find out what you did?

I had a fight with Rabbi Glass

and-and we kind of canceled
the wedding.

And then I had
a fight with Matt

where I kind of told him that
even if there was a wedding,

I-I-I couldn't be there,

because I know in my heart
that Matt and Sarah

getting married is wrong
because the wedding

is the reason
Matt wants to convert.

You didn't?
I did.

And, and... I'm right.

And no matter what you say,
I will not change my mind.

I will not attend
Matt's wedding.

♪& Smoke on the water ♪&

♪& A fire in the sky ♪&

♪& Smoke on the water. ♪&