7th Heaven (1996–2007): Season 3, Episode 2 - Drunk Like Me - full transcript

For some reason I
thought this frat house

would look better
during the day.

Hey, hey!

As the Julie Mccoy of Rho Omega,

let me give you guys
the grand tour.

Oh, we'll hit the kitchen
later after the food crew

gets in there with
some rakes and hoses.

Ok! Oh, house chores.

I know it's a drag,

but at least we don't
get stuck with a chaperone

like the sororities do.



Oh, now let's
see what we have
for the gentlemen

behind door number 3!

We're going to need shots.

Ha ha ha!

Ok. Let me give you
the house rules,

cliff notes version.

Bandana on the door handle,

don't knock, don't enter,
don't linger.

Ok? That means
someone's entertaining.

Are you telling them everything?

It's best they learn
about the bandana
on their own.

Not a word about initiation.

Got it?

Oh, no information available



prior to the actual event,
but be prepared for anything.

Anything that's illegal,
immoral, or damaging
to your health?

The less the minister's son
knows, the better.

Excellent!

Can you believe
how cool this is?

Yeah.

The minister's son
can hardly wait.

♪ & 7TH HEAVEN ♪&

♪ & WHEN I SEE THEIR HAPPY FACES
SMILIN' BACK AT ME ♪&

♪ & 7TH HEAVEN ♪&

♪ & I KNOW THERE'S
NO GREATER FEELIN' ♪&

♪ & THAN THE LOVE
OF A FAMILY ♪&

♪ & WHERE CAN YOU GO ♪&

♪ & WHEN THE WORLD
DON'T TREAT YOU RIGHT? ♪&

♪ & THE ANSWER IS HOME ♪&

♪ & THAT'S THE ONE PLACE
THAT YOU'LL FIND ♪&

♪ & 7TH HEAVEN ♪&

♪ & MMM, 7TH HEAVEN ♪&

♪ & 7TH HEAVEN ♪&

Oh, we thought we'd save you
some cleanup time.

Oh, thanks.

So, mom, can Ruthie,
Lucy, and I name
the babies?

You said they were
going to be girls,
right?

So, come on. Who's
more qualified?

Well, first of all,
I never said for sure
that they were girls,

and secondly, you know,

naming children
is usually a privilege
reserved for the parents.

We just figured you'd be
out of names by now.

Well, if I get stuck,
I'll call you.

Well, you know where I live.

Want some cereal?

What are you guys
eating, cootie-os?

Ha!

Coo...

I'll just get my own bowl.

Knock yourself out.

But, mom, if you had to guess,

what would you say
the babies were?

Girls.

Yes!

Just a feeling.

I almost forgot.

Matt's car is being delivered
this afternoon.

I figure if we all
work really hard,

maybe, we can get it ready for
him in a couple of days.

Wait. We?

We can have it ready
in a week or so.

That part of the we
doesn't know anything
about cars.

Oh, look who's talking,
Mr. Goodwrench.

Uh, look, by the time
we finish rebuilding
an engine,

we'll all know a lot about cars.

I don't understand why they
have to horn in on this.

I mean, it's not like
it's their thing.

I'm the car guy!

Cars have always been my thing!

No one's horning in
on your thing.

We don't even want to do this.

Look, nobody has to do anything.

I just thought it
would be nice if we all
did something together.

If they're in, I'm out.

Dad.

Yeah?

Did you know that mom asked them

if they wanted to rebuild
Matt's car with her?

No, I hadn't heard that,

but I'm guessing it's important.

Why exactly?

Well, because they
turned it into a girl thing,

and I'm a guy.

So I'm out.

Since when is rebuilding
a car a girl thing?

That's what I'm saying.

Oh, did you talk to Simon?

Just now?

Yes, just now, about Matt's car.

Well, yeah., he's upset
because the girls
are pitching in

and now it's a girl thing.

But if you joined us,
it wouldn't be a girl thing.

It'd be a family thing.

Oh, honey, I just did
my hair and my nails.
Do I have to?

Look, I don't know
anything about cars.

Then you and Simon need
to find some guy stuff
to do together.

I don't want him
to feel left out.

No, being left out
is Lucy's job.

You know, I'll take
him out for a nice
dinner this weekend.

That's guy stuff?

Well, I wasn't going
to get him a corsage.

Well, I'm happy to have you
as part of our parish,

but not nearly as happy
as our choirmaster.

I hear you're quite the soprano.

Well,
while I was waiting
for my husband to decide

whether he was going
to leave me or not,

I decided to go back
to school and finish
my degree in music.

Yeah, I'm sorry
to hear about all that.

Oh! Don't be.
It was the best thing
I've ever done.

I wish he would've
left me years ago.

In retrospect,
you'd be hard-pressed
to find 2 people

less compatible than we were.

But I'm making up for it now.

I'm having the time of my life.

Well, good for you.

Sounds like you deserve it.

I don't know about that,

but I'm enjoying my life.

I'm teaching music
at the daycare center,

and while it isn't
exactly what I was
going after,

it'll do for now.

I am looking forward to
meeting some new people
from the church

in the choir, though,
people who don't cry

when their mommies drive away.

Yeah, well, don't bet on it.

Hey. Uh, Nancy,
this is my son Matt.

Matt, this is Nancy Randall.

Hi, nice to meet you.

A pleasure.

Nancy's new to our church.

Oh! Welcome.

Well, I better be going.

I can't
thank you enough
for everything.

There's no need.

It was nice meeting you.

You, too.

Bye.

New choir member.

Oh, she can sing, too?

I beg your pardon?

No, nothing.

She's a very
good-looking woman

who sings.

That's it.

Uh-huh.

I checked out
that frat house
with Kevin this morning.

And?

I don't know
if those guys
are so great.

Well, is this something
you could maybe look at
as a challenge,

you know, living
with a diverse group
of guys, making it work?

Last year you did
everything in your power

to get me to stay home
and go to school.

Now, I think you're
trying to get rid of me.

What I'm saying is,
that if you're
going to back out,

you should do it sooner
rather than later.

Do you have to use
the words back out?

It makes it sound
like I said I was
going to do something

and now I won't.

Ok. You've reconsidered.

You've considered joining,
and you've reconsidered.

And now you're not joining.

Yeah, well, what
do I tell Kevin?
He's going to kill me.

Hmm. That's a tough one.

I need a reason
I don't want to do this.

A good reason.

You know, sometimes the only
reason you really need

is just what you said before...
You don't want to.

Do you have anything better?

No. That's the best advice
I can give you.

Oh!

So...

what do you think?

Sounds like it can use
a new set of plugs?

I'm just guessing here.

You guessed
exactly right.
Congratulations!

Weird. You're like
an auto repair idiot savant.

You don't even know
what savant means.

I don't care.
I'm laughing
at the idiot part.

Hmm.

Probably can use
new points, too.

How are we supposed
to hide this from Matt?

Maybe he's an idiot, too.

You know, it could
run in the family.

I thought that I
would disconnect a wire,

and then we'll tell Matt
that the garage door's
broken

and that I'm waiting for a part.

You're gonna lie?

Fib. It's...
It's different.

We'll talk later.

I'll look forward to it.

In the meantime,
we're going to need wax,

leather cleaner,

rags, windex, armor all,

the dustbuster,

chrome polish,
and Simon...

Where is Simon?

He's hanging out upstairs.

He doesn't want
anything to do
with this.

He said he'd
feel like he's at
a tupperware party.

Wonderful.

Well, in the meantime...

look what I got us.

Mary:: Auto Repair for Dummies."

Thanks, mom,
but we need one for idiots.

Idiot savant, ok?
Savant.

Ok, ok.

I can't believe we're
going to be frat brothers.

Man, how cool is that?

My dad was so psyched
when I told him.
My dad...

was in the same fraternity.

Yeah, I know.

He said it's a great way
to make business contacts.

He got his first job
out of college

through a fraternity
brother's dad.

He practically built
his whole business
on Rho Omega contacts.

Oh, you know
what his initiation was?

Strippers.

Ha ha ha! And not
ugly old ones, either,

but campus chicks
working their way
through school.

Can you believe it?

You know, as good
as it all sounds,

I got to tell you,
I'm having second
thoughts.

What?

I've reconsidered.

Oh, you got to do
better than that.

You know, I probably
should never have
signed up

in the first place.

I'm not the club kind of guy.

I'm not the kind of guy
who likes to hang out
with a bunch of guys.

If I have any free time,
I'd rather go
on a date.

Then that's why
this is so great.

A fraternity house
is a great place
to meet women.

And it's an even
better place to bring them.

Yeah, I know, the old
bandana warning.
Subtle.

Ha ha ha!

Look, I guess what I'm
trying to say is I don't
want to do this.

You're just feeling
insecure, man.

I am, too,

but after tomorrow night,
it'll all be over
and we'll be in.

I don't know.

Look, Camden, you have a family.

I have one parent,
my dad, and that's it,

and he travels.

Not once in a while.
All the time.

So when I come home,
I come home to an empty house

with a housekeeper
who goes to her room
at 8:00,

shuts her door,
and watches television,

and I'll tell you, man,
it sucks.

But this fraternity
changes all that for me.

It's like a real family for me.

Then you should do it,
but I'm not sure
it's for me.

I thought we were
in this together, pal,

but evidently,
you're nobody's friend.

How's everything going?

Great!

I've been using
that book to figure out

how to install a new fan belt.

Oh, it looks great.

Mechanical skills
must be genetic.

Wait. Speaking
of the gene pool,

where are Mary and Ruthie?

I have no idea.

One minute they were
in the back seat
scrubbing the carpet,

the next they were gone.

Well, I'll put
these groceries away
and I'll be right back.

Ok.

Happy?

"Took Ruthie to the park.
Ruthie took Happy."

Have you seen this?

No. A little help,
please.

Oh.

They just took the dog
without even asking.

Well, this isn't the first time

that someone's
taken Happy
for a walk

without asking
your permission,
is it?

No, but from now on,
if any of those girls

want to take my dog anywhere,

they have to ask me first.

All right.
I'll tell the girls
about the new rule.

We have a new rule?

You know how I love rules,
especially the new ones.

Mary and Ruthie
just took Happy
and walked out

without even so much
as waving good-bye to me.

Oh, I see.

How does the pool hall
sound tonight, Simon?

You know, a couple of
sodas, some burgers,

maybe shoot a few games?

That'd be great, but
I'm not going anywhere
until Happy's back.

I really hope
you can convince him

to get over the car project
being a girl thing

and get him to pitch in.

I really hate
that he feels left out.

Maybe he doesn't feel left out.

Maybe he just doesn't
want to do something
with a bunch of...

You know.

This is just so stupid!

I'll talk to him.

Kevin, can we talk?

I'm going
to decline membership
in the fraternity.

Your call, man.

I heard what you
said last night,
and I understand,

but my situation's different.

I just want to put some distance

between myself and my family

and blunder around on my own.

And where I do it
doesn't make
a difference.

So why's it make
a difference now?

I don't know.
It just lost its appeal.

Why? After all the work
we did to get in,

why has it suddenly
lost all its appeal?

We didn't do anything
to get in. We showed up.

Something about yesterday
just turned me off.

I can't explain it.

I just don't want to be subject

to the rules of
a bunch of goofballs.

What'd you think
a fraternity was,

some kind of guy hotel where
everyone just comes and goes

their separate ways?

Kind of.

Its about being brothers!

It's about getting
through the next 4 years.

Like guys get through
the 4 years with beer
and women and parties,

whatever takes the pressure off.

It's a 4-year war,
and guys fight wars together.

They don't do it one by one
from their parents' houses.

You know what I think?

I think you're way too big
of a wuss to show up
for the initiation.

This is a bust.
Let's go.

But this is how I met Wilson,

and I figured if you
brought Happy along,

it's be a double whammy.

I'm not as cute as I used to be.

Now I'm downright pretty.

See? Before you know it,
I'll be taking
your boyfriends

just like Lucy did last week.

Ok. Time to go.

Hey....

nice dog.

Of course, I was expecting
an athlete like yourself

to have a big dog,

like a retriever or a lab
or something like that.

Do I know you?

I'm Jay.

Thompson.

Sat next to you
all last year in biology.

Oh, yeah! I didn't
even recognize you.

Well, I've
gotten taller finally.

Unh!

Well, we'd better go.

My sister and I are
supposed to be helping
my mom fix up a car

as a surprise
for my brother Matt.

What kind of car?

Dirty.

It's kind of a mess right now.

It's hard to tell.

Whatever it is, you're lucky.

I've always wanted
to do something like that,

but my dad's
a car dealer and all
we ever get are new cars.

Boo-hoo. Poor you.

I didn't know
you were into cars.

Oh, yeah. I've been
hanging around cars
practically all my life.

No, you haven't.

Well, you know,
I'd love to see
what kind of car it is.

Well, we're walking home
if you want to come
check it out.

Sure, yeah.

We've just been replaced
by a lousy car.

Uh, mom, is it ok

if I borrow
the station wagon
tonight?

Are you going to the fraternity?

Can I just have the car?
I promise I'll do
something

about getting my own
transportation soon.

Of course you can
have the car. No problem.

And I'm getting
that garage door fixed soon.

In fact, I'm on my way
to do that right now.

Hey, Matt, Simon and I
are planning a night out

if you'd care to join us.

Uh, maybe another time.
Thanks, though.

Everything ok?

Everything's great.

What'd you decide about
joining the fraternity?

Did you talk to Kevin?

Yeah, I talked to him.

And?

And nothing.

If you're thinking
about having a drink
with your buddies tonight,

think about staying
over there because...

Well, I know you know
not to even have
one drink and drive,

but you know you're not
allowed to drink and drive

because you're 18.
You're not even legally
allowed to drink.

Not that there's ever
been a frat party
without alcohol.

Of course.

You'll do the right thing.

Hey, mom, this is Jay Thompson.

Hello, Jay.

Nice to meet you
Mrs. Camden.

Jay's a friend from school.

Oh.

We caught him in the park.

Mary was just about
to show Jay how
to change the oil.

In this car?

Yeah, unless
of course, mom,
you'd like to do it.

No. No, I know
it's your favorite.

I'd be happy to help.
Do you have a drain pan?

I was just about
to get one from the kitchen.

Ha ha ha! Very funny.

Hey, here. I've got it.

Give me a break.

You've changed the oil,
like, what, 100 times?

Let someone else
have a try for once.

Hey, Jay, what do you think?

I think we
should disconnect
the air conditioning

so the car will go faster.

Mary seems to think
we should leave it
alone.

I'd have to go
with Mary on that one.

No kidding. You know,
Lucy's some kind of idiot.

Say good night, Ruthie.

Hey, Kevin.

Oh, boy. Hey, how's it
look for a table?

Oh, it's at least
a half an hour.

Could be longer.

Oh, hey.

Who's that?

That's Nancy Randall.

She just joined
the church and the choir.

Come on, I'll introduce you.

I didn't know
you were a pool player.

I'm not.
Someone just recommended
the hamburgers here,

although I don't think
it's the best night
to test out the menu,

'cause it's a little crowded.

Yes.

Hello.

Oh, Simon, I'm sorry.

Nancy, I'd like you
to meet my son Simon.

Nice to meet you, Simon.

Where's the rest of the family?

Home. It's just
us guys tonight.

Ah. Well, I think
you're going to have
to wait a while

for the table.

Although you're welcome
to join me here

until one's available.

Oh, well, that's
very nice of you,

but we'll just wait in the bar.

Oh, come on. I actually
feel a little weird

sitting here all my myself.

I'm almost done with my burger,

and when I am,
the table's yours. Ok?

We accept your gracious offer.

Great.

So, um...

Got any kids?

No.

Are you married?

Divorced.

Oh, on the rebound, huh?

I heard that that can
make some people
do crazy things.

Simon!

I'm sorry.
I don't know where
he gets this stuff from.

Ok. I'll be happy
to take your order now.

No, thank you.

If you could just
bring me my check,

they could have this table.

But you haven't
finished your food yet.

That's ok.

This one's on me.

Well, thank you.

Simon, it was nice meeting you.

I guess I'll be seeing
you both in church.

Ok.

Yeah. Welcome.

Ahh.

Just... just give me a clue.
What's up with you?

Nothing.
What's up with her?

What are you talking about?

Hello, dad.
She's practically
all over you.

Not like
person-to-person,
but mentally,

and she was stuck all over you

like a bunch
of post-its.

She was not,
and even if she was,

it doesn't excuse
your rude behavior.

Me?
What about you?

What about me?

This was supposed
to be our night out,

but instead, we end up
sharing a table

with some arm-patting,
check-leaving rebound
woman,

who thinks you're a single dad

instead of a happily married guy

with 5 kids
and 2 more on the way!

Hey, come on.
Come on now.

Let's not go.
Let's have a burger
and talk about this.

Forget it.

No, I'm not going to forget it.

We need to talk.

Wait.
I didn't order this.

It's from the lady.

Um...

that was very nice.
Thank you.

Do you want to join me?

I'm rita.
Rita Chavez.

Matt Camden.

Nice to meet you.

I'd be happy
to buy you something
a little stronger.

Uh, no, thanks.
I'm driving.

You know, I couldn't
help but notice,

you're the only
person in this bar,
besides myself,

who isn't drinking,

so I'm kind of curious.

What's your story?

Um, my story's boring.
You go first.

Ok. This is my first
year of med school.

I'm here on a scholarship.

And this is my first night off

since I started this summer.

And you?

Well, I just started college,

and I'm supposed to be
pledging a fraternity,

but I bailed.

Good for you.

I have to ask.

What are you doing in a bar
if you don't drink?

Oh! You mean, what's
a nice girl doing
in a place like this?

I was trying not to go there.

I like this bar
and a lot of the kids
from school come here,

so... so what
if I don't drink, right?

Right.

Simon, I'm really sorry
about tonight,

but Nancy wasn't
flirting with me.

She's just a nice, lonely...

Desperate woman.

But who cares?
Let it go.

I got my big
guys' night out,
so forget it.

I'm not going
to let it go because
nothing was happening.

I think you protest too much.

Shakespeare?

Nah, I just heard it
somewhere in school.

Look, are you upset with me
because you think I was
looking at another woman

or are you upset
because you think

this woman was looking at me?

Did you know
that mom thinks
the twins are girls?

What?

Oh, yeah,
and she probably didn't

say anything to you
because she's too busy
in the garage

bonding with Mary,
Lucy, and Ruthie

with some secret
girl stuff and the car

that I thought I'd be fixing up.

Well, first of all,
it wasn't a secret

because you knew about it,

and secondly,
you had an opportunity
to join them and...

Ok, so what's
the first thing
you want to do

when removing a carburetor?

Write a check
to the guy removing
the carburetor?

I don't believe this!

Guys used to come to me.

Now I have to pass
a stupid car quiz

in order to get
a guy interested.

Maybe I'm losing it.

But you think Jay's cute, right?

Yeah.

So why don't you want him?

You saw him first.

Finder's keepers.

And if you want him
to be interested in you,

I'll be glad to help.

Oh, what, so you're
throwing me a pity guy?

I don't need your help
or your pity,

thank you very much.

Suit yourself.

Idiot.

♪ & Savant ♪&

What was that
carburetor thing again?

Ha!

Ok, "carburetor, 143."

Kevin, what is that?!
That is a push-up?!

That is pathetic!

Let's go, Kevin!

This isn't a sorority!

You're getting your... what?

Are you getting
a degree in nursing?

Drink that beer, soldier!

Ha ha ha!

Whoo! Whoo!

Hey, come on.
Haven't these guys
had enough?

We'll let you know.

- Let's go!
- Let's go!

You go up and down!

Up and down!

- Let's go!
- Come on!

You in the back row!

That is pathetic!

Ha ha ha!

How was dinner with dad?

Let's just say
I know something
you need to know,

but I can't tell you.

20 questions?

Make it 5.
I've had a long night.

Fine, then.

Well, you see,
this woman...

Nancy Randall,
member of the choir,

who's very pretty
and recently divorced...

Dad tells me everything.

Well, did he tell you
that she was flirting
with him

in the pool hall?

No, but he said
that's what you
thought she was doing.

Fine. Take
his word for it.

Did he also tell you
that we saw Matt

drinking in a bar with a woman?

Right there in the window,

right for there
for anyone to just
walk by and see them.

Well, yes, but we both
trust Matt, you know,

and we don't know
that he was drinking.

You and dad talk too much.

You know, we also don't know
if the babies are going
to be girls or boys.

Yeah, but you have
a feeling that
they're girls.

Some days I do,
some days I don't.

I thought Ruthie
was going to be a boy.

What about me?

Boy.

- Lucy?
- Boy.

- And Mary?
- Girl.

Matt?

Boy.

So you've been right more times

than you've been wrong.

Simon, if these babies
are girls,

would that be such
a terrible thing?

No, not exactly.

It's just that it'd
throw the whole family

completely out of whack.

I mean, it'd change
the Camden universe
now and forever.

Well, it's true, if Matt's gone

and it's you and all girls,

you'd be, like, what, you know,

king of the universe,

protector of the sisters,

the watchful boyfriend eye.

I mean, their dates
would never see you coming.

But you're right.

I mean, it's a lot to take on.

Hey.

Glad to see you.

I... I wasn't drinking.

No, I... I assume that.

I'm still glad to see you.

Simon and I, uh, bumped
into Nancy Randall
tonight.

Simon thought she was after me.

Maybe it's been a long time
since you've had someone
flirting with you

and you've forgotten
what it looks like.

You know, it may be
hard to believe,

but I occasionally
come into contact
with women

who find me attractive.

I mean, the robe
is like a magnet
for some women.

Well, anyway,
I think...

I think I know
when a woman is
coming on to me.

Actually, you don't.

Someone has to tell you.

Usually it's mom.
This time it was Simon.

Nancy Randall is not
interested in me.

Ok.

So did you drop out
of the fraternity?

You might say that.

Look, could we talk
about it tomorrow?

Sure.

Hello.

Hello?

Listen, Kevin's in his car

a couple blocks
north of the house,

on the other side of the street.

He's in trouble.
Don't wait too long.

Um, I have to go.

It sounds like Kevin
had too much to drink.

I'm going to take him home.

You want me to come along?

No. He's my friend.
I'll go.

Hey, Kevin.

Kevin!

Kevin.

Hey, you guys!
Quick, call 911!

Come on, buddy.

Come on!

Come on. Unh!

Come on.

Hey, wake up.
Come on!

Matt:"Dad, thanks for coming
down."

I haven't been able
to reach Kevin's father.

He's probably out of town.

There's a housekeeper,
but she's not
answering the phone.

I'm just going to go over there.

I don't even know
what the address
to "over there" is.

Ok, well, give me
Kevin's phone number,

and I'll keep trying.

Maybe Sergeant Michaels
can get me an address.

Have you had any luck
reaching Kevin's parents?

No. How's he doing?

Well, I'm afraid
I can't tell you very much.

You're not immediate family,

but your friend's in bad shape.

And I think I know
how he got that way.

He was drinking, obviously.

How much?

I don't know.
I wasn't with him.

Where was he?

Fine, but if your fiend
never wakes up,

it's going to be your
responsibility to tell us.

If he never wakes up?
What are you talking about?

Your friend in there
has a blood alcohol level

that's 5 times the legal limit.

When you get that high,

there's a 50-50 chance
it'll kill you.

So now you're following me?

No. Uh...

a friend of mine's here.

I'm waiting for him
to be moved out of I.C.U.

That initiation got
a little out of control.

Kevin something?

Yeah.

Someone should've
come out and gotten you,

but the doctor on shift
probably didn't know
you were waiting and...

No, he's ok.

He's awake
and apparently there
was no brain damage.

He's a very lucky kid.

Yes.

I'll find out where
they're moving him to

and I'll let you know.

Thanks.

Hello.

Hey, dad, Kevin's ok.

They're moving him into a room.

Did you find his dad?

Yeah, yeah.
He's in New York.

I, uh, gave him the number
of the hospital,

and he wanted the doctor
to give him a full report

before he'd change
his business plans.

Wow. I'll tell Kevin
you talked to him,

but I'll leave out
that other part.

You want some company?

I can pace and worry
with the best of them.

No, that's ok.

I'll be home as soon
as I talk to Kevin.

Call if you change your mind.

I will. And, dad...

Yeah.

Thanks.

Y-you're welcome.

Was that Matt?

Yeah.

Kevin's going to be fine,

but it's all I can do
not to go over
to that frat house.

For the moment,
let's just be grateful.

Ok.

Eric: Nice outfit.

Well, thank you.

I'm a man on a mission,
if you know what I mean.

I think you do.

Oh, yeah!

Going to help out
the girls, huh?

Help? He's going out there
to kick that guy's butt.

I'm quoting.

I explained to him last night

some of
the responsibilities,
advantages, really,

of being a brother
to a bunch of sisters.

Well, I guess he heard you.

Sort of.

Well, it's a start.

And then you just spin
this wing nut back into place.

And you're there.

You make it look so easy.

It is.

What are you doing here?

Mom's taking a break,

so I thought
I'd lend my expertise.

Simon Camden,
brother to these...3

nice to meet you.

I'm Jay Thompson.

Looks like you got
your work cut out for you.

Jay, I could write a book.

Hmm.

So are you a registered driver?

Yes, I am.

Well, what do you drive?

A prowler.

Prowler.

My dad owns a dealership,

and he managed to snag one
for me. It's great!

But I'm always afraid
it's going to get stolen

or scratched or something.

So if I were to just
stroll out that door,

there'd be a prowler
sitting in our driveway

for god and everyone to see?

No, I jogged over.

I only live, like,
6 blocks from here.

But there'd better be
a prowler parked
in my driveway

when I jog back.

Times are changing, Jay.

Uh, it pays to be sure.

You're the brother.
I'll see you later.

What just happened?

I'm not sure, but there was
something totally weird
about Simon.

He was wearing a jumpsuit?

So how's that exhaust
thingamajig coming?

Manifold.

Exhaust manifold.

Do you really want to know?

No.

What's the use?

Hey, let's blow this pop stand.

We are not car people.

Unh!

So how's the prowler's
acceleration?

The wind is slower.

So which one of my
sisters are you into?

What?

Come on. You're
not just hanging
around our garage

for the camaro, are you?

Well, yeah!

Talk to me, Jay.

I just broke up with someone.

I'm not really looking
for someone to date
right now.

I'm really into cars.

This could be the start
of a beautiful,

beautiful friendship.

We'll just have
to let the girls down.

Easy, of course.

Oh, of course.

I mean,
I'm their brother,
not a monster.

Hi, Mrs. Camden.

I'm Nancy Randall.

I just started going
to your husband's church.

Hi.

Uh, welcome, Nancy.

Come on in.

Um, I'll get Eric.

Thank you.

Someone's here to see you.

Hi.

Hi.

I am sorry to just
drop in like this,

but I went by the church
and you weren't there,

so the choirmaster
told me you lived here

and I thought
I'd come over...

Oh, no.
It's ok, really.

Thanks. I thought
I should come over

before this went any further.

"This"?

I have been such a fool.

You are a married man,

and your son was right.
I am on the rebound.

I was flirting with you,

and I am really embarrassed
and really ashamed,

and I think it would just
be better for everybody

if I went to another church,

but I didn't want to just
disappear and have you
think it was you.

I mean, it's you,
but it's not you.

Don't worry about it.
It's perfectly ok.

It is?

Of course.

Oh, good.

You... you didn't happen
to choose that
little chapel

on the corner
of Main and Thompson,
did you?

Yes, I did.

Well, good for you.

Everybody has to have
the right feeling

about where they worship.

I... I hope you're
very happy there.

Me, too.

Again, I really,
really apologize.

Oh, hey.

Uh, accepted.

Thanks.

Bye.

So Simon's radar
was pretty good, huh?

Uh, yeah.

Yeah.

He'll do just fine
in a houseful of girls.

Girls?

Oh, just a feeling.

How did you know
which church
Nancy picked?

Uh, well,
it's the only one around
with a single minister.

Hey.

What are you doing here?

I'm the one
that brought you here

after your buddies
left you for dead
in your car.

It was just a party.

They didn't know
how bad off I was.

It's not like
they did it on purpose.

And yet you almost died.

And yet I didn't.

Listen.

It's not that
I'm not grateful
for what you did.

I am.

But I've gone
through too much
to back out now.

Ok.

Good luck then.

Thanks.

What are you doing here?

It doesn't matter.

Thanks for coming
to the rescue last night.

I thought our buddy Kevin
was a goner.

-So you're the one
who called?
-Yeah.

At least you did that much.

It might've been better
if you'd just stopped
him from drinking

before he almost killed himself,

but I guess that's
expecting too much.

What if he had died?

Wait a minute.
What are you doing here?

Brad sent me over.

I don't see any flowers.

I'm supposed
to tell Kevin he's out.

What?

Listen, after what
happened last night,

we don't think he can handle it.

We don't want any more
situations like we had
last night.

No, we wouldn't want that.

I can't believe you guys.

You haze a guy
into the hospital
and then pull this?

You're lucky he doesn't
have you arrested!

I don't disagree with you,
but I'm just the messenger.

You're kidding yourself
if you think
that's all you are.

And then it seemed
like it was running
a little rough,

so I turned up the idle
and now it sounds fine.

This is amazing.

I had no idea you
could do all this stuff.

I didn't either
until I gave it a shot.

Oh, there's Matt!

Considering
everything you've done,

I think you should be
the one to give him
the car.

No, that wouldn't be fair.
You and dad bought it.

Yeah, with the family's money.

Come on. Go.

Hey, mom said you
wanted to see m...

What's this?

It's your new set of wheels.

I know. It doesn't
look like much,

but it's an '84 camaro,
a classic.

And once it's painted...

You're fixing up a car?

For me?

This is going to be my car?

Yeah. Surprise.

5-speed, tin tops, v8.

Ha ha!

How'd you do this?

I don't know.

Mom's sort
of teaching me
as we go along.

Unbelievable.
Is it driveable?

Yeah.

Cool.

I feel like taking a ride.

Can I come?

Next time.

Ok. I understand.

Thanks.

Hey, nice wheels, preacher boy,

but you're too late
for the party.

It was last night.

You scared?

I mean last night
when you left that guy
in his car for dead,

were you scared?

I didn't know
he was that bad off.

Yeah, you knew, all right.

That's why
you had someone
put him in his car.

Was it you?

Did you put Kevin
in his car and
leave him for dead?

You're not even worth hitting.

Hey, I could use a ride.

I'm out.

I can't do it anymore.

I won't do it anymore.

Get in.