7th Heaven (1996–2007): Season 2, Episode 8 - Do Something - full transcript

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

[CHILDREN LAUGHING]

Wonderful sermon as usual,
Reverend.

Well, thanks for coming
as usual, Ed.

Stop by the rec room for refreshments
if you've got time.

Hey, Simon,
no soliciting on Church property.

My son's trying to earn some prize
by selling greeting cards.

Oh, my son's doing the same thing.

There's an ad in a comic book
that's got them all going door to door.

It's a comic book ad, huh?

Maybe that's where I should
advertise Church services,



attract more young people.

Or you could advertise
Matt's broken up with Heather.

- That'll attract more young people.
MATT: Mmm.

- Hey.
- Good morning.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

- Enjoy
- Thanks.

Mrs. Camden, I'm trying to locate
the culinary magician who made these.

- They're extraordinary.
- They're just muffins, Mr. Friel.

Oh, no, no.
These are not just muffins.

I've tasted a lot of just muffins,
and these are, well, extraordinary.

- How would you like to sell them?
- Sell what?

I'm offering your mom
a chance to go into business.

Well, great, Mom needs a job.

By the way,
do you gift-wrap any of your cookies?



You know, as gifts that might require,

say, a greeting card
for any and all occasions?

Not now, Simon.

- Sorry about that.
- Well, what about my offer?

Mr. Friel, I'm really flattered,
but I already have a job.

Raising five kids.

Oh, hey, girls.
I was just telling your mom

she could make a lot of money
selling these muffins.

- Really?
- Yeah, really.

- But I told him I was too busy.
- Doing what?

- Hey, Emory. How's it going?
- Uh-- Okay, I guess.

It's hard, but we're hanging in there.

Is that where Nell is this morning,
with Steve?

Yeah, his condition
is stabilised for now,

but we figured better
than taking him home,

it might be a less risky
keeping him in the hospital

in case, you know,
there's an emergency situation.

EMORY: Anyway, insurance
is paying for hospital care.

If there's anything I can do,
let me know.

There's really nothing
anyone can do.

Right now,
they're giving him six months. That's it.

- Yeah, that's what we're dealing with.
- I don't know how you're managing.

We are getting a little worn out.

[CHUCKLES]

Both working, stopping by at lunch,
and then going back over at dinner

and staying with him
until he's asleep.

Actually, maybe there is
something you could do.

Nell asked me to see if you knew
anyone we could hire to sit with Steve.

You know, someone responsible
enough to hang out with him at night

so we could get some rest.

- We're willing to pay good money.
- Huh.

Hey.

- Excuse me.
- Yeah.

You know, I could sit with the kid.

I don't think so.

I'll tell you what, Emory.

I'll check around, see if I can
come up with somebody for you.

Thanks, Reverend. Appreciate it.

- My best to Nell and Steve, okay?
- Yeah, thanks.

- Hey, Dad.
- No.

[SIGHS]

[LAUGHING]

That Andy Capp kills me.

Oh. Yeah.

MARY: Oh, hey, Dad.
- Yeah.

Next time you're talking to Mom,
encourage her to get out in the world.

- Really?
LUCY: Yeah.

Mary and I think that part of the reason
why Mom stays at home

is because you're not the type to help
around the house and with the kids.

So she feels like she's obligated
to just be a housewife

when she could make a whole lot
of money out there in the real world.

Especially now
that Ruthie's in school.

What brought this on?

Well, David Friel, the cookie man,
offered her a chance

to help him expand his business
with her muffins.

But her self-confidence has been
so undermined over the years

that she didn't even have
enough self-esteem to wanna try it.

Your mom has a college degree
with majors from Home Economics

to Business to Philosophy.

And on top of all that,
she can bake a cake

while putting in
a new garbage disposal.

ERIC: Why would she be suffering
from low self-esteem?

Well, maybe she's never had a chance
to spread her wings and fly a little bit.

You know, past the role

- of mother and wife.
- Oh.

Dad, all we want is for you
to be supportive and encouraging

in case she decides
she wants to experiment a little

with this muffin thing.

Dad? Can we talk for a second?

Love to.

[SIGHS]

I'm kind of angry with you
about something.

Well...I'm glad you're telling me that
instead of, you know,

just running out of the house
and doing something crazy.

- What did you do?
- I got a job.

- What kind of job?
- Taking care of that Steve kid.

So you just went to Emory and Nell

and asked them for the job
when I told you no.

Yeah. I went to them.
I thought it should be their decision.

- Well, now I'm a little angry with you.
- Why?

Matt, you went around me knowing
I didn't want you to take the job.

- I said no.
- Why don't you want me to?

You know I need the money.

Do I have to remind you that for
the past six or seven jobs you had,

you also needed money,
yet you managed to get yourself fired?

This would not be a good job
to get fired from.

I'm not gonna get fired.

- Have you met Steve?
- No.

Steve is tough to be around.

Even for me. I'm a minister.
I've counselled the dying

and been with the sick people a lot.

Being with a kid who's dying
is different. It's harder.

It's the hardest thing in the world.

- I'm just gonna read to him.
- When are you supposed to start?

[SIGHS]

Tonight.

What do you say--?
What do you say we compromise?

And I use the term loosely,
because I didn't want you to do this

and you're doing it.

Let me come with you
to the hospital tonight.

If you think you can handle this,
then fine.

But this is not something
that you should get involved in

unless you're absolutely sure
you can do it.

And if you can't, it's okay.
Steve's parents will understand.

Dad, it pays 20 bucks a night.
I can do it.

[SCOFFS]

Why would he pay for the muffins

when he could eat them
at our house for free?

Mr. Friel wants to buy
the muffins from me

and then sell them
in his cookie stores.

And then he'll pay me
part of the money he makes.

- It's called sharing the profits.
- Why wouldn't you get all the profits?

Well, because without Mr. Friel's
bakeries, I couldn't sell the muffins.

- Why not?
- I don't have any place to sell them,

and even if I did,
I'm not very good at selling anything.

Neither is Simon,
but he's selling greeting cards.

Has he sold any yet?

No, and he's supposed to sell
ten boxes of them.

And if he does,
he just gets some crummy old prize.

If I sold cards,
I'd like to make money.

Why don't you then?

- You could.
- How?

Well, first, you'd have to buy
all of Simon's cards from him.

- How much is one box?
- Four dollars.

So if you sold all ten boxes
for $5 each

instead of $4 each,
you'd make $1 on each box.

And that would give you
a total of a $10 profit.

Would that be fair?

Well, it'd be business. You can charge
as much as a customer will pay.

Keep that in mind
next time you're a customer.

- Can I keep the whole $10?
- Sure.

But of course, you'll have to find
someone to loan you $40

so you can buy Simon's cards.

- Who would do that?
- I'll loan you the money.

I'd be happy
to invest in your business.

It's a win-win situation.

Simon gets his prize, and if you do
a good job, you get your ten bucks.

[CHUCKLING]

Can I go tell Simon?

Sure. And tell him to wash up
for dinner while you're at it, okay?

I like being in business.

[CHUCKLING]

Daddy, you wanna buy
a box of greeting cards?

Oh, not really, sweetheart.

Please?
They're just $5 for a whole box,

and they last a long time.

- Okay, one box.
- Thanks, Daddy.

[GRUNTS]

Ruthie's helping Simon?

She's buying him out
and going into business for herself.

Is that what you plan on doing
with the muffins, eventually?

- Buying out David Friel?
- You think I couldn't?

You think I'm not smart enough
to buy bakeries

and go into business myself?

No, I know how smart you are.

Do you? I don't think anyone
in this family knows how smart I am

or how hard I work,
or even that I work.

So you know what?
I'm going into the muffin business.

One box, four bucks. That's all I ask.

I see.

Thanks anyway.

- Who was that?
- Mrs. Bink. She recycles her cards.

Someone sends her one,
she sends it back.

So how much for all ten boxes?

- Who wants to buy all ten boxes?
- I do.

And what are you gonna do
with them?

- Sell them.
- No, thanks. I'm selling them.

I'm gonna get all ten points in the sales
catalogue and win that action figure.

You still can.

So you're gonna buy them from me,
sell them for me,

and I'm still gonna get the prize?

Not exactly.
I'm going to sell them for profits.

For $5 a box.

[CHUCKLING]

Look, kid. I'm the only one in the family
who's good with money.

You can't be me.
You have to be you.

So why don't you just go
and do something you're good at

and stay out of the business world?

You're good at savings and loaning,

but everybody knows
I'm the one who can sell.

That's why everyone
always picks me

when they have to sell things
for school.

No, no, no.
They take you because you're cute.

- They used to take me.
- Right.

Fine,
but I need all 40 bucks up-front

so I can send in for the prize now.

A deal.

ERIC:
Pretty good, huh?

Hey, come on, talk to me.

You know, I came out there
just to tell you how much I think

that you should do this muffin thing
with David.

It'll be good for you
to spread your wings a little.

Hey, if you're worried about things
around the house, I'll pitch in.

- Look what I did with these flowers.
- No, thanks.

I'm perfectly capable
of running the household

and baking a few muffins
at the same time.

You blew it, huh?

[SIGHS]

- Great dinner, as usual.
- Hmm.

Matt and I are gonna go
to the hospital now.

Can I pick anything up for you
on the way back?

I don't even know what I did.

I'm just trying to lend my support so
you can do your own thing, you know?

[CHUCKLES]

Do you mind telling me where
you're getting all these condescending,

annoying little phrases?

Oh. Never mind, I know exactly
where you're getting them from.

Say hi to Nell and Emory for me.

I will. Bye.

So have you called David Friel yet?

- Why? Do you think I should?
- Oh, definitely.

Just because you did the mom thing
doesn't mean you can't have a career.

I'm still doing the mom thing.

But don't you think
you'd set a good example for Ruthie?

- In what way?
- We don't want her to think

that the only thing a woman can do
is cook and clean.

Where did I go wrong?

Well, maybe it was
when you didn't go back

- to work after Matt was born.
- Oh.

[CHUCKLES]

[INDISTINCT ANNOUNCEMENTS
OVER P.A.]

Hey there.

Steve, you know Reverend Camden.

Hey, Steve.

Hello, Reverend.

And this is Matt,
the guy we've been telling you about.

Hi.

You know anything about The Tick?

Abou-- As in Arthur's boss?

[CHUCKLES]

Well, then,
I guess this should work out just fine.

[SIGHS]

Here it is. A cheque for $40.

RUTHIE: That's him, huh?
SIMON: Yep.

What does it say right here?

"Please allow four to six weeks
for delivery."

Four to six weeks
is a really long time.

Yeah? Well, it could take you four to
six weeks to sell all ten boxes of cards.

I don't think so.

Hey.
Can I borrow some comic books

- to take to the hospital tonight?
- Yeah, sure. What's he into?

Well, he's got all the Tick comics,

and outside that,
Steve's pretty traditional.

He likes Superman.

Well, here they are. It's all Superman.
Take your pick.

The new stuff's cool
if you can get used to the new uniform.

New Superman?
What's that all about?

You haven't heard
of the new Superman?

Getting old, bro.

Losing touch with
the younger generation. Just like Dad.

Yeah, except, you know, unlike Dad,
I'm still faster than a speeding bullet.

[SIMON CHUCKLES]

[BOTH GRUNT]

I'm not hurting him.

I didn't say you were.

Go get your stuff.
We're gonna be late for school.

[MOCKINGLY]
"We're gonna be late for school.

We're gonna be late for school."

[GROWLING]

Don't worry, no one's gonna be
tackling Steve like that.

Promise me you won't.

Promise. I'm just gonna read to him,
that's it.

Good to hear.

Yeah.

I realise it might be more cost-effective
to substitute some of the ingredients,

but I don't think the quality
would be the same

if we went to margarine
instead of butter.

I mean, then again, what might make
a big difference to me

might not make any difference
to your customers. What do you think?

I'm not sure either,

but for this initial test run,
definitely go with the original recipe.

Okay.

You really think the muffins
are that great? Ha-ha.

Trust me.
I know a winner when I taste one.

Here's what I propose for our deal.
Our lawyers will work it out in detail,

but I pay you a flat fee
for your muffin recipe.

Say, around a thousand bucks.
Guaranteeing, of course,

that the recipe stays protected,
since it is a secret family recipe.

DAVID: Plus, I'll give you 30 percent
of the profits.

Could I keep this sheet to look over?

Sorry to interrupt.
I have to get to work.

No problem, Rev.
We're just wrapping up here.

So how's it going?

Great. Great.

Well, I'll talk to you later.

Or when I get home.

Or whatever.

- See you around, David.
DAVID: Sure thing.

Bye.

Hasn't anyone ever told you
it's not nice to eavesdrop?

Did you hear how much Mr. Friel
is paying Mom for her recipe?

Your mother will tell me
if and when she wants me to know.

If she's not still mad at you.

She's not mad at me.

- Well, she probably is now.
- Excuse me?

Dad, you can't just go barging through
her business meeting like that.

I was saying goodbye. What was I
supposed to do, just leave?

What? Not that I'm gonna take
any more of your advice.

Dad, how do you expect Mom
to deal with her fear of failure

with you always hovering over her,
just waiting for her to fall on her butt?

[WHISPERS]
I wasn't hovering over anybody.

And for the record, I'm quite sure
your mom is not afraid to fall. Fail.

She's always been a risk-taker.
She married me, didn't she?

This is not a laughing matter.

This is Mom's career
we're talking about.

- Hi, Mr. Friel.
- Hey, Ruthie. How's it going?

Fine, thank you.

Simon filled this out.
Will you please mail it?

- Sure. Hmm.
- Regency Sales Club?

Wow, I didn't know
they were still in business.

I used to sell greeting cards for them
when I was a kid.

My mom helped me
buy all my brother's,

and now I'm selling them over again.

Would you like to buy some?

Why not?
How much they going for these days?

Five dollars a box,
or you can have three boxes for $20.

Wouldn't it be three boxes for $15?

It would be,
but I'm trying to make a profit,

so I'm selling them
for more than they're worth.

Ha-ha. In that case,
I'll take the three for 20.

Hey, you're almost halfway there.

And I'm halfway to paying you back
for the loaning.

Thank you, Ms. Camden.

ANNIE:
Now, scoot. The others are waiting.

And make sure Simon doesn't
forget his lunch in the car again, okay?

Okay.

- Bye.
- Bye.

Thanks.
I'll get you the cards as soon as I can.

I better be going too. I'll be in touch
sometime this afternoon.

Okay. I'll make sure I'm here.

Good. I'll have someone
drop off the supplies

as soon as I get a better idea
of quantity.

- Supplies?
- For the muffins.

You didn't expect to do the shopping
on top of all the baking.

- The baking? Here?
- Yeah, I just assumed.

Being a cookie company,
we're not set up for muffins.

Of course, we'd make the adjustments
in the kitchens

if that 30-day test run goes off, huh?

- That's all right with you, isn't it?
- I--

[CHUCKLES]

[WHISPERS]
Oh, my God.

- Oh. Hi, kids. How was school?
- Well, the usual.

- Where are Simon and Ruthie?
- Checking the mailbox. Where else?

I'm taking off for the hospital.

I told Steve's parents
I'd be there by 4:30.

- Will you be home for dinner?
- Probably not.

It's Nell and Emory's first dinner out in
months. I told them to take their time.

Hey there. I tried the front door,
but no one answered.

- Are you Annie Camden?
ANNIE: Yes.

I've got your supplies
and an order from David Friel for you.

Thirty dozen muffins?

[WHISTLES SOFTLY]

[INDISTINCT ANNOUNCEMENTS
OVER P.A.]

I was just thinking, my family's
finishing dinner pretty soon,

and then my dad's gonna find some
excuse to pop in and check on us.

Yeah.

He'll say he was visiting someone
at the hospital

and he thought he'd just drop by.

Yeah, probably.

What's wrong?

[SIGHS]

I was just thinking.

What do you think dying is like?

You don't have to answer that.
I'll understand.

No.

No, I'll answer it.

[EXHALES]

I think about it sometimes.

I think it's kind of like

when you're little and you're sick,

and your parents take you
and they put you in their bed,

and you wake up,
and you know you're not in your bed.

But then it just takes a second,

and you realise where you are
and that you're okay.

I think it's like that.

Was that a stupid answer?

- No, I like it.
- Oh.

Does that mean
we can change the subject?

Sure.

[SIGHS]

Did you know I haven't been outside
in months?

Not counting that little patch of grass

between the cafeteria
and the parking lot.

No. No, I didn't know.

My parents are worried
that if they take me out somewhere,

something might happen to me.

But something is gonna happen
to me.

I'm gonna die.

I just wish that before I do,

I can have a day
out of this hospital.

I can't take you out, Steve, not without
your parents giving me permission.

- Why not?
- Because I'd get fired for one thing.

So your reputation
is more important than my life?

Hey, guys.

I was just upstairs visiting a friend,
thought I'd drop by.

[BOTH LAUGH]

So...

[DOOR CLOSES]

[CHUCKLES]
That was great, man.

Yeah.

[SIGHS]

Hey, you do understand
why I can't take you out of here.

I mean, you're not gonna fire me
for not springing you out, are you?

No. I don't have to.

I'm pretty sure eventually,
you'll break.

Yeah.

[CHUCKLES]

What time is it?

Honey, it's five in the morning.
Go back to bed.

- Okay. What day is it?
- It's Friday.

What time
does the delivery man come?

He'll come around 5:30.
Come on, go back to bed.

Ahh. The delivery man
will just wake me up again.

- He always rings the doorbell.
- Oh, no, he's not gonna do that today.

Not after I yelled at him yesterday,
so don't you worry.

Are you sure
I can't just have a cup of coffee

and wait for the mailman?

He might bring the cards today.
Then I can deliver them.

He might, but not for a while.
Besides, I don't think you drink coffee.

[DOORBELL RINGING]

I sold all ten boxes.

I know,
but I think that was cheating a little bit

to sell Grandpa and the colonel
three boxes each.

I gave them my special discount.

[RATTLING]

Good morning, Mrs. Camden.

- You rang the bell.
- I forgot.

- And you're early.
- Yeah, I know.

But the thing is that the people--
They're coming into the stores

earlier than usual
to get those muffins.

- Really? They're selling that well?
- Yup.

You're carving a new niche
in Mr. Friel's cookie world.

Great.

- Uh-- Sorry about the bell. I forgot.
- That's okay.

Honey.

Why don't you go back to bed
and I'll make breakfast for the kids.

- It's okay. I can handle it.
- Are you sure?

- I'd really like to help out.
- I'm fine.

Okay.

Oh.

[EXHALES]
Oh.

[SIGHS]

You like it light on the cream
and heavy on the sugar, right?

Where are you off to
this time in the morning?

- I'm going to see Steve.
- Isn't it a little early?

I can never get back to sleep
after that guy rings the doorbell.

Steve's always up at dawn.

Hey, do you think you could
take the kids to school for me

so I can have a little longer
to stay with him?

Yeah, sure, I can do that.

I just hope you're not
spending so much time with Steve

that your homework
isn't getting done.

Not at all. I promise.

In fact, Steve's proofreading my essay
for Mr. Koper.

The kid's a spelling genius.

I've gotta admit, I may have been
wrong about you and this job.

- Surprised?
- No, not at all.

[CHUCKLES]

[WHISPERING]
What are you doing with that bank?

[WHISPERING]
I wasn't gonna take anything.

I just wanted to see how much money
Ruthie made off me.

Sixty bucks.
And that's after she paid back Mom.

She was only supposed
to sell those cards for $40.

Well, technically, you're the one who
was only allowed to sell them for 40.

Once Ruthie bought them,

she was free to charge
whatever she wants.

[WHISPERING]
What's known as a loophold.

Mom told me.

It's loophole.
Why are you whispering?

Because everyone else is.

You know,
I'm gonna take Happy out.

Happy.

[WHIMPERS]

So, what are you gonna do
with all that money?

I'll tell you, but you can't tell nobody.

- Anybody.
- Them neither.

[WHISPERING INDISTINCTLY]

[INDISTINCT ANNOUNCEMENTS
OVER P.A.]

- Excuse me.
- Yes?

I wanted to ask you something
about Steve in there.

You're family?

Not exactly. I mean, no.

I'm just sitting with him for his parents,
but we're good friends.

I'm Reverend Camden's son.
Steve's parents go to our church.

I was hoping I could get a feel
from you of how sick Steve is, exactly.

[CHUCKLES]
Ah.

So you are Steve's next mark,
I guess, huh?

That kid's had at least one go
at everyone in this entire hospital,

trying to convince them
to get him out of here.

So why don't you give him a break
and take him out?

Well, without his parents' permission,
I can't.

It's against the rules,
and if I broke those rules,

I could lose my licence
to practise medicine.

Well, why don't his parents
take him out?

They're scared.

They probably figure
they're buying him some extra time

if they keep him
under constant supervision.

Would anything happen to him if he
weren't under constant supervision?

I think he'd be okay for a day out.
In fact, I'm sure of it.

Convincing them, well,
that's another story.

How risky is it?

As long as it didn't involve
doing anything crazy,

I'm sure he'd survive.

WOMAN [OVER P.A.]:
Nursing supervisor to OR.

Nursing supervisor to OR.

[SIGHS]

Hey.

What are you doing here?

What do you mean? I thought
you were gonna read my essay for me.

Maybe later.
I don't feel like it right now.

Well, you feeling sick?
You know, I can get someone.

No, not sick. I feel really great.

That's what's so hard.

I'd just really, really love,
one last time,

to hit a ball
and run some bases.

[DOOR OPENS]

Hey, Steve.

How about breakfast
in the cafeteria today?

Yeah, sure, that'll be a big thrill.

You know what, I can take him.
I'd like to, if it's okay.

Absolutely. You know where it is?

Well, I'm sure Steve can navigate.

Have fun.

[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]

Call your parents. Tell them I'm here.
They don't have to come this morning.

Maybe I'd still like to see them
before they go to work.

Yeah? I thought you wanted
to hit a baseball?

- Are you kidding?
- No, I never kid.

You know,
they'll fire you if they catch us.

You know that, right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Been there,
done that. I can handle it. Call them.

[PUNCHING BUTTONS]

ANNIE: Nell called again.
They still haven't found Steve.

She and Emory
went back to the hospital to wait.

And there's a package from Regency
Sales Club on the kitchen table.

- My action figure!
- My cards!

- Well, I'm gonna head back.
- Did you check the varsity?

I've been there, the pool hall,
just about everywhere.

I'm running out of places to look.
I'm about ready to strangle him.

I knew this wasn't a good idea.
I just knew it.

Not so fast.

While we're all waiting to see how this
little adventure of Matt's turns out,

you can help me
with tomorrow's muffin order.

Oh, I can't. I got rehab exercises,
then homework and stuff.

- Oh.
- Me too, the homework part.

Plus, Laura invited me to sleep over.

It's Friday. You have the weekend
to do homework.

You're not sleeping anywhere.

You're gonna stay up
until the delivery man comes

tomorrow morning at 5 a.m.

Boy, the job's really getting to her.

Yeah, I'm sure it's hard getting used
to it after not working for so long.

[SIGHS]

Three for the cookie man.

Three for Grandpa.

Three for the colonel.

One for Daddy.

That's ten, right?

Sorry you didn't get your
Tick doll yet.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[HAPPY WHIMPERS]

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

- No word?
- No, no, there's no word.

How stupid is that,
hiring Matt Camden?

A 17-year-old boy looking after
our son? I mean, what was I thinking?

The problem is, we weren't thinking.
We're too tired to think.

Look, I'm sure they'll be back soon.

And when they are,
everything will be okay.

Would you be so calm
if this was your kid?

If he were my kid,
I would have taken him out myself.

I've already told you as much.

Look, I'm sure Steve is okay.

And I really wouldn't worry
about Matt Camden.

I have to make rounds.

The desk knows to page me
the second they get back, okay?

Excuse me.

MAN [OVER P.A.]:
Marilyn Holmes to Admitting.

Marilyn Holmes to Admitting.

Hey. I'm sorry,
I still haven't found them.

I got a feeling
I've been going about this wrong.

- What do you mean?
- I've been looking at Matt's hangouts.

It occurred to me I should be looking
for them where Steve would hang out.

ERIC:
Where would Steve hang out?

Well, if Steve could do
anything he wanted for a day,

- it would be playing baseball.
- Hmm.

You still remember how to get
to that baseball camp he went to

the last summer
before the diagnosis?

- Sure.
- Let's go.

Wait. Maybe I should wait here
in case they come back.

It's okay, the hospital knows
how to page me. Come on.

[INDISTINCT ANNOUNCEMENTS
OVER P.A.]

ANNIE:
Okay, Lucy.

Half a dozen eggs
into each bowl, then whisk them.

And Mary, I'd like you to measure out
ten cups of flour into each bowl,

and then cut one stick of butter
into each.

Mom, we're happy to help, really.
It's just,

don't you think you'd feel a lot better
about this if you did it by yourself?

What is your sister talking about,
please? Heh.

Mom, it's just that
we are so proud of you.

MARY:
Going into business by yourself.

It's just that we don't want you
to think you can't do it alone.

Wait a minute.
Now that I'm making muffins for sale,

you're proud of me,
but you weren't proud before?

No, we didn't say that.

Yeah, this is not a good time
to be putting words in our mouths.

Are you kidding? There wouldn't be
room enough there with all your feet.

Did it ever occur to you
that, heh, I already have a career?

That being a mom to five kids
and a minister's wife

is a career all in itself? Did it?

ANNIE:
You know, I chose this for myself.

This is what I love to do. I love
being a mom and running this house.

That's right. I love it.

And it is a full-time, 24-hour-a-day job,
filled with every bit as much challenge

and fulfilment as anything else
out there.

Plus, it has ten times the variety.
I get to be a bookkeeper,

a banker, a nurse,
a carpenter, a psychologist,

a dog walker, a plumber,
a handywoman, a cook, a maid.

And I'm proud of it.
I'm darn proud of it.

Man, I can't believe that I let you two
sucker me into thinking

that I needed to be validated by a big
corporation in order to be important.

And a male-owned corporation
at that.

[CHUCKLING]
I mean, this is really hysterical.

Yeah. Yeah, I've always had
a fairly healthy sense of self-worth,

and I let you two talk me
into baking...

...a bazillion muffins a day
to prove it?

[CHUCKLING]

[VOICE BREAKING]
It's the funniest thing I've ever heard.

I must have been out of my mind.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

Don't get it. Keep working.

Poor Mom. She doesn't even know
what career means.

She just wasn't ready for this.

Oh, hi.

- Hey, you're in a good mood.
- Yeah, you could say that. Heh.

Well, then,
this should make it even better.

- What is this?
- It's a cheque.

[LAUGHING]

- A cheque?
- Yeah.

- Wow.
- Is that a good wow, or a bad wow?

It's not a bad one, it's just that...

I've baked all the muffins
I'm gonna bake.

It's over. I quit. I'm done. I'm sorry.

But the test run is 30 days.

Well, no, after tomorrow,
the test run is over.

It would be over today, but I'm teaching
Mary and Lucy a lesson.

Annie, we were off to such
a good start. Are you sure about this?

- Buy the recipe if you're interested.
- Absolutely, I am, but--

You sure you just don't wanna
hang in there a little while longer?

I could, but it's not gonna happen.
Thanks for the offer.

It's been a pleasure
doing business with you.

If you ever change your mind,
you call me.

- See you on Sunday.
- You bet. Bye.

[DOOR CLOSES]

- Mommy.
- What?

I have a favour to ask
from one businesswoman to another.

[WHISPERING INDISTINCTLY

[BOTH LAUGHING]

Oh, there is no way
I'm ever getting married or having kids.

I am. But I'm going to make sure
that I have a job that pays so much

that I can hire someone
to do all this crummy stuff.

MARY: Yeah, like who?
- Well, you heard her.

Mom loves keeping house. Maybe
I'll hire her if she's not too old by then.

You missed the point.

I love doing all this crummy stuff
because I love all of you.

- Why are you taking off your apron?
- Because I quit.

And because Ruthie
and I have an errand to run.

Oh-ho-ho.
Well, what are we supposed to do?

Well, there's the recipe.
Bake the muffins. Seriously.

It'll be a good way
to learn some respect for me,

and for all the mothers in the world
who work at home.

Oh, and take out the last load
of laundry, fold it and put it away,

and plan something for dinner.

[SIGHS]

MATT: We're all knotted up here
in the 12th.

But leading off is the kid,
looking to spoil Camden's no-hitter.

Whoa, a grounder up the middle.

Whoo! All right. Let's go.

[CHUCKLES]

Whoa! Ha!

MATT:
Come on, make an effort.

Yeah. Ha-ha-ha.

MATT: He's gonna go for two.
STEVE: Yeah.

MATT: Here comes the throw
to second. It's gonna be--

MATT:
Uh-oh.

Time to face the music.

That's okay.
We were in extra innings anyway.

- It's been great, though. Thanks.
- Hey, it's been great for me too, kid.

Oh. We were so worried.
Are you okay?

I'm great.
I had the greatest day of my life.

- I wish you could have been here.
- I wish we could have too. I'm sorry.

- He shouldn't be in a hospital room.
- I'm just so afraid.

You don't have to be, Mom.
Please don't be.

Everything's gonna be fine
no matter what happens.

If you want me to go back,
that's okay. I've had my day off.

STEVE:
But I'd rather be at home.

[SIGHS]

So aren't you gonna say something?

If I could decide what to say,
I would.

- His doctor said that--
- I know.

I know what he said. I talked to him.

STEVE:
I love you too, Mom.

A risk is still a risk, though.
And this one was a big one.

One I'm sorry I didn't have the courage
to take myself.

If something had happened to Steve
while he was with you,

what would you have done?

I'm not sure, other than I would have
gotten him back to the hospital.

And if it was too late for that,

I guess I just would have held him,
been with him.

If something happened, Dad, at least
the kid would have had a day off.

He's dying and there's nothing
anybody can do about it

but try to let him live a little.

[SIGHS]

They're taking me home.
They're taking me home.

[CHUCKLES]

[SIGHS]

There wouldn't be anything else
to eat

besides muffins by any chance,
would there?

You ate three hot dogs for dinner.

Mom never makes hot dogs
for dinner.

If she ever did, she wouldn't count
potato chips as a vegetable.

- Would you, Mom?
- No.

[WHISPERS]
Yeah, yeah.

I have a surprise for you.

The only surprise I want is The Tick.

- Is that for me?
- Yep.

Where did it come from? It's 50 times
as big as the one in the catalogue.

I bought it for you at the mall
with my profit,

and I still have the $10
I wanted left over.

I'm sure there's a lesson in this
for me somewhere, huh, Mom?

I know the lesson.
It's do what you love to do.

That means you should stick
to savings and loanings.

That's for sure.

Thanks, Ruthie.

Well, I'm sorry
you're out of a job again.

Me? What about you?
What are you gonna do

now that you don't have me
to follow around and check up on?

Oh, who said I'm retiring
from that job?

[CHUCKLES]

I'm glad you finally found something
you're interested in.

And that you're good at.

You know, you could work
for the Starlight Foundation

or the Make-A-Wish organisation.

Steve's just one of thousands of kids
who need a day off.

Sure. I'd love to do
something like that, but...

But?

Well, I still need to get a job to make
money so I can pay for my own stuff.

Welcome to adulthood, son.

[CHUCKLES]