7th Heaven (1996–2007): Season 2, Episode 6 - Breaking Up Is Hard to Do - full transcript

After receiving a letter he read to nobody from Heather, Matt borrows what he can from siblings (essentialy the bank of Simon) to travel all the way to Philadelphia, but it's barely enough far a flight to Indianapolis and bus to Pittsburg. Simon succumbs to peer pressure when every other classmate has a 'steady girl', only to seek a way out once he experiences Janice's bossing. He asks dumping advice from Mary, who manages to break up with Wilson over him 'pleasing her dad too much'. Grumpily single since Jimmy Moon dumped her, Lucy is eager to make mates with reputed heart-breaker Charlie Banks, who actually behaves like a gentleman. Kindergarten teacher madness peeks again with note to the parents about (a) kissing (game) as potential sexual harassment.

Pow! Bam!

Whack! Whoa.

- Do you have any money?
- What kind are we talking about?

- Stocks, bonds, cash?
- Cash.

I don't like to keep a lot
of cash around. It's too risky.

Simon.

I've got $86 and 83 cents

and a buffalo nickel that will
never be touched by human hands.

You lend me 86 now and I'll
pay you back 90 as soon as I can.

Hmm, interesting.

Turn around and close your eyes.



[SIGHS]

- What are we doing?
- Do you have any money?

- What kind of money?
- Cash.

Oh, 5 dollars.

All right. I'll pay you back 6 dollars
later if you give me your 5 right now.

Okay.

You owe me 6 bucks.

Thank you.

Thanks.

That's where you keep your cash?

That's where I used to keep it.

Now I have to find a new place.

- Hey, do you have any money?
- I have like 2 bucks. Why?

Why don't you have any money?



There are these things called malls.
You may have heard about them.

- What's going on?
- I need some money fast.

For what?

Nothing illegal, I just have
something I have to do, okay?

Okay. It's not like
I have any money anyway.

- How can you not have any money?
- I spent it.

Thanks.

What's going on with him?

He got a letter from Heather today,

so I'm betting
it has something to do with her.

The number
for American Pride Airlines, please.

Thank you.

Hi. Could you tell me
how much a ticket to Philadelphia is?

Uh, leaving tonight.

Is that the student youth fare?

Okay, how far can I get
on, uh, $153?

[CLEARS THROAT]

I hope I'm not disturbing you
by doing anything important

like my homework or anything.

Ugh.

ERIC:
Mm.

- I love you.
- Mm.

I love you too,
but the next bite is mine.

Yeah.

ANNIE:
Hmm. Mm-hm.

Mm.

Finally, somebody who knows
what that signal means.

It means, um,

"Hi, I'm here,
I'd like some ice cream"?

No, it means, "Hi, I'm in here,

could you possibly stop kissing
for two minutes?"

I don't know,
two minutes is a long time.

LUCY: You know,
between school and home,

I see a kiss-a-thon
pretty much 24 hours a day.

I'm sorry, we didn't mean to make you
feel unwelcome or uncomfortable.

Your mom and I just

got ourselves and our loved ones
through another day

and we're celebrating.

Actually, it's generally acceptable
for two people in love to kiss,

- especially in their own home.
ERIC: Mm-hm.

Well, I'm glad you feel that way,

because there are two people in love
kissing in the living room

and they haven't come up for air
in about a half an hour.

Lucy, why don't you finish
your homework upstairs?

Oh, yeah. That won't make me
feel less lonely at all.

I probably won't think of Jimmy Moon
when I'm all by myself,

alone in my room
while the rest of the house is kissing.

Lucy, you are a great girl.

And a great guy
is gonna come along for you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[SIGHS]

- What?
- Why are you just sitting there?

Why aren't you rushing
to talk with your daughter

and her boyfriend
in the kissatorium?

When did Mary
suddenly become my daughter?

I'm not sure,
but tonight, it just feels right.

ERIC:
Uh-huh.

By the way, any idea
where your son Matt is tonight?

My son finished his homework
and went out with a friend.

If I have to talk to Mary and Wilson,
I'm eating the whole bowl.

[PHONE RINGING]

Hello?

- Oh, it's just you.
- What's that mean?

Nothing.

NIGEL [ON PHONE]:
Nobody called, huh?

Just you, and you don't count.

Just like I wouldn't count
if I called you.

We're the only guys in sixth grade
who don't have girlfriends,

the voices who count
are higher than ours.

Good luck. Your voice is pretty high.

I don't know how to
break this to you,

you're the only guy in sixth grade
who doesn't have a girlfriend.

Oh, no.
How could you do this to me?

Sorry.

I walked over to Myra Cole's house
and asked her to go steady.

She said yes.

I didn't wanna be the only guy--

Who doesn't have a girlfriend.
Yeah, I know.

And Myra's great.

She could have any guy in the class,
but she chose me.

Great.

- She has class.
- Yeah, yeah.

- She even kissed me.
- Oh, stop it, now you're just bragging.

Sorry. Did you call Cheryl yet?

No, I didn't call her.

Who knew you were
gonna walk over to Myra's?

Besides, I don't even know her.

You better get over there in a hurry.

Because pretty soon,
all the girls are gonna be gone.

And it's gonna be you
and your sad self all year.

Thanks.

You know what I mean.

Yeah. Congratulations.

Thanks.

Girl trouble?

I'm the only guy in sixth grade
who isn't going steady.

RUTHIE:
So?

So I guess
when you're in sixth grade,

you have to have an official girlfriend,
and I don't.

- Why don't you?
- I don't know.

I just thought
a girl would ask me by now.

I guess that didn't work, huh?

No. Nigel gave me
a girl's phone number.

Really? What's her name?

Uh, Cheryl. Cheryl Hardwick.

But I don't know her, and I don't
even know if she knows who I am.

So tell her your name
when you call her.

Duh.

[SIGHS]

[PHONE RINGS]

[PHONE RINGING]

Hello?

Hello?

[DIAL TONE]

You want me to call her?

You sure?
I know a lot about you I could tell her.

No. That's okay,
I'll talk to her in school tomorrow.

Face to face.

- Yeah, right.
- No, I will.

- I believe you.
- I really will.

I know.

Good.

He won't, you know.

[ERIC CLEARS THROAT]

Did you want something, Dad?

Well, yes, I think I'd like to talk.

Oh, can it wait?

Wilson's gotta go in a minute,
and we were just kissing.

ERIC:
Mm-hm.

Yes, well, I saw that. Uh, it seems that
you've been doing a lot of that lately.

Yeah, I know, we're kind of in
the kissing phase of our relationship.

But we could be
out of it immediately.

No, we couldn't.

And I don't see why we should have to.
We're not doing anything wrong.

Your mom and I are getting
a little uncomfortable

with this particular phase.

How come? I mean,
Mom and you kiss all the time.

We've been married for 20 years.

Nineteen. Nineteen years,
we've been married and kissing.

You know,
we could just forget the kissing

and, uh, play cards or something.
I'm a good card player.

I'm not.

Dad, can I talk to you and Mom
about this later?

Oh, you can bet on it.

- Good night, Wilson.
- Good night.

[MARY SIGHS]

There's nothing wrong
with what we're doing.

WILSON:
I know, but I've got a kid,

and it probably makes
your parents a little nervous.

And I absolutely understand
why it would.

It would be really great
if you could just be a regular guy

instead of acting
like somebody's parent.

Well, that's the problem.
I am somebody's parent.

[SIGHS]

MAN [OVER PA]: Loading
and unloading of passengers only.

No parking.

WOMAN: Here you go.
MAN: All right, thank you very much.

WOMAN [OVER PA]: Jillian Schwartz,
please meet your party

at the lower concourse.

Jillian Schwartz, please meet
your party at the lower concourse.

[MUTTERING]

[PHONE RINGS]

- Hello?
- Mom, I'm glad it's you.

- What's wrong?
- I got a letter from Heather today.

She met somebody, it's over.

Oh, Matt, I'm sorry.

Come on home, we'll talk about it.

Mom, I know you don't
want me to miss school and stuff.

But Heather is more important to me
than anything.

I love her, I wanna marry her someday,
and I just can't let it end like this.

- Please try and understand.
- I do understand. I really do.

But, Matt, come home. Let's talk.

I wanna talk to Heather and that's
not gonna happen unless I'm with her.

I just wanted to call
so you wouldn't worry about me.

WOMAN [OVER PA]:
Flight 745 for Indianapolis is now--

- Matt?
WOMAN [OVER PA]: --at Gate B4.

Mom, I'm going to Philadelphia.
I'll call you when I get there.

[DIAL TONE]

Does anybody have any idea where
Matt got the money to go see Heather?

He didn't get it from me,
I don't have any.

You just got your allowance
and you've already spent it?

Yeah.

Right, another time.

Well, I gave Matt 2 bucks.
That's all I had.

And I felt bad because
I only had $5 to give him.

Well, he didn't go to the airport
with 7 bucks, so...

How much, Simon?

Eighty-six dollars and 83 cents.

Where did you get
that kind of money?

You. I get allowance.

And I had
some birthday money saved up.

What? I have simple tastes, and it's
not like I have a lot of expenses.

And you just gave it all
to your brother?

Well, he said he'd pay me back 90.
That's more than $3 profit.

How do you think
Matt's gonna pay you back?

He'll get a job.

[LAUGHING]

Well, according to the airlines,

he didn't get off any flight
arriving this morning in Philadelphia,

so we're not sure where he is.

Needless to say, if he calls,
find one of us, understand?

- Got it.
- Understood.

My pleasure.

Piece of cake.

All right, go get your books. Your
mom's driving you to school today.

[ERIC CLICKS TONGUE]

I was actually thinking that you could
drop the kids off on your way to work.

Ah.

Oh, I get it. You think
if you had gotten Matt's phone call

last night,
he wouldn't have gone.

I'm not saying that at all.

Thinking. You're thinking it.

If I had written you a Dear John letter
six months after we started dating,

would you have let me go?

Like father, like son.

I'll get my keys.

[SIGHS]

How much is a bus ticket
to Philadelphia?

More than you've got.

[SIGHS]

Okay, okay.
How far can I get for 45 bucks?

Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.

Sold.

WOMAN [OVER PA]:
Now arriving on Platform 3,

Bus 428 from Chicago.

Bad choice.

[GROANS]

- Told you.
- Oh.

That thing's been in there for years.
That's gotta be hard as a rock.

I think I broke my tooth.

WOMAN [OVER PA]: Bus 315
to Pittsburgh is boarding at Gate 28.

All passengers for Bus 315
should report to Gate 28 at this time.

[CHATTERING]

GIRL:
See you later.

CHARLIE:
I saw that.

So how long do you think
we have to be neighbours

before we introduce ourselves?

Lucy Camden.

I would've introduced myself
a long time ago,

but you're always surrounded.

Charlie Banks. It's nice to meet you.

You too. So that was your girlfriend?

No, just some girl who likes me.

So she's just a friend?

Not exactly. Most girls
don't wanna be just friends.

They want a boyfriend.

So, what do you say?
You think we can be friends?

Sure, why not?

Cool. Well, uh, I'll see you later.

Charlie Banks is a major heartbreaker,
so don't get any ideas.

I won't.

Well, I can tell from the look
on your face that you already have.

So?

Hey, Nigel. Hey, wait up.

Hi. Simon, right?

Yeah.

Did you want something?

No, no. No, not a thing.

[SIGHS]

Do you wanna go steady?

- Sure.
- Great.

[WHOOPING]

Stop! I'm not afraid of you,
Xena, and I'll never talk.

RUTHIE:
Oh, yes, you will.

Everyone spills their guts
to the warrior princess.

For my revenge, I will kiss you all.

[SCREAMING]

Ricky, what are you doing?

Getting revenge.

Kissing a girl against her will
isn't funny and it isn't okay.

It's okay, Mrs. Rainy.
It wasn't really against my will.

We were just playing a game.

A young man
may not kiss a young woman

unless she gives her consent.

I know, but I don't care.

Everyone in my house
kisses everyone all the time.

RICKY:
I didn't mean anything.

It's not like I like her or something.

Well, maybe so.

But I think I'll send a note home
to both your parents

to see how they wanna handle it.

I know how to handle it.

More revenge.

[RUTHIE AND RICKY LAUGHING]

Battle on, Xena!

You're home early.

Yeah, I wasn't getting
much work done at the office.

Today's choir practise.

So I figured I'd get more done
if I worked at home.

Matt hasn't called.

I called Heather's mother

and asked her
to tell Heather that he was coming.

She said she would have Matt call us
the second he got there.

I know.

I called her too.

I'm getting worried.

Me too.

[PHONE RINGS]

Hello?

Yeah, hold on a sec.
It's Charlie, your locker buddy.

LUCY [ON PHONE]: Hello?
- Hey, pal, what's up?

Um, nothing really,
I'm just doing my homework.

- Yeah, what kind of homework?
- Algebra.

Mm, I'm solving for X.

Actually, I'm just staring at X.
I'm not very good at algebra.

I'm not that great at it either.

Hey, you'd better get off the phone.
Mom and Dad are waiting for Matt.

Listen, I was hoping
I could ask you for a favour.

Sure.

If I leave a note, could you give it to
that girl you saw me with today, Rita?

The one you thought
was my girlfriend.

Why don't you wanna give it to her?

I don't wanna make
a scene or anything.

Oh, well, it's no problem.

- Just drop it in my locker.
- Great, thanks.

[PHONE CLICKS]

Um, is there someone else
on the line?

What part of "stay off the phone"
do they not understand?

- They who?
- Lucy and some guy.

- Lucy's talking to a guy?
- Yeah.

On any other night,
I'd be happy for her.

Or at least okay with it,
but not tonight.

All right.

Any idea who this guy is?

[BOTH SIGH]

Is this a teacher's note?

Oops, I forgot.

- What's it about?
- Something really stupid.

I'll be the judge of that.

Ricky Stevens kissed me
on the playground today

and I kissed him back.

- Why?
- Revenge.

Revenge?

It was just a game we were playing,
Xena, Warrior Princess.

And Ricky got caught.

Battle on, Xena. You're still
gonna have to get this signed.

I wanna get it signed.
I can't wait to get it signed.

It's giving me a stomachache.

But I was hoping Matt would call

so Mom and Dad
would be in a better mood.

Yeah, I don't blame you.

Simon, it's for you.
Janice, your girlfriend.

That's right. It's my girlfriend.

Simon here.

Would you stop it?
Who is it this time?

Some girl named Janice.
She said she's Simon's girlfriend.

Oh, yeah, they're going steady.

Why do you know this and I don't?

They come home,
I give them a snack,

- they spill their guts.
- Simon's too young to go steady.

All the kids in his class
are going steady.

I don't care if they're all legally married.
I don't want my son going steady.

Honey, when you're 11,
going steady is an oxymoron.

It's more like going briefly
or temporarily.

I don't care.

This whole kid romance thing
has gotten completely out of hand.

This whole thing just feeds into
kids having sex too early,

and then teen pregnancies
and everything else.

- That's just wrong.
- Don't worry. He'll call.

I hope so.

Okay, okay.

You wouldn't happen to have, uh,
any kind of jewellery just laying around

that I can have, would you?

Janice wants something like a ring
or a bracelet or something

to show that we're going steady.

Give her your Red Lightning ring.

We've only been going steady a day.

And I plan to wear
that Red Lightning ring when I die.

Of course, Janice probably already has
my funeral planned out.

She has everything else
planned out.

You picked a winner, Simon.

- Shut up.
- Break up with her.

[PHONE RINGS]

Hello? Hi, Janice.

Do it. Get it over with.

It's Janice again.

Maybe we should get call waiting.

No, no,
that will just lead to call return

and, uh, caller ID
and God knows what else.

Yeah, you're right.
The old telephone domino theory.

How long do you think
we can hold on to that?

I'm really not in the mood for this.

I know, I'm sorry.
I'll make you some tea.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

Dad, it's probably Wilson.

- And so it is.
- Hey, Reverend Camden.

- Hi.
- Hey.

I wanted to talk to Mary, but I know
you wanted to keep your phone open,

so I just came over.

I see that.

So we'll be on the porch.

You know, it's a school night,
and I'm not in such a good mood.

I'm guessing this can wait
until tomorrow.

Yes, absolutely, sir.

I'll talk to you tomorrow.

- Did Matt call?
- Nope, not yet.

Uh...

Dad, I know you're in a bad mood,

and I know why,
and I don't blame you.

- But?
- But you are taking this whole thing

out on Wilson and me.

I'm just a normal teenager
who likes to kiss her boyfriend.

And I know he made a mistake,
and he knows he made a mistake.

But he is a very responsible person
and so am I.

I think we should be able
to kiss each other once in a while

without you or Mom acting like
it's a big crime or something.

You know what,
this isn't about Wilson.

He's just a part of it.
It's about you, my daughter.

I appreciate
and respect your honesty.

But I'm just not comfortable
with your being so physical with a guy.

But, Dad, what do you think
is gonna happen?

Do you think that we're
gonna have sex on the couch

with six other people
running around?

- Oh, I hope not.
- If you trusted me, you'd know not.

[SIGHS]

But you're right though.

This isn't about Wilson,
but it's not about me either.

It's about you.

The fact is, you don't trust me.

I do trust you.

I just don't trust him
or any other guy.

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

Look, I'm sorry, I just--

I need to have a short conversation
with Mary, if I may.

All right, one second.

Uh, it's...

- Hi.
- Hey.

Listen, I'm sorry about my dad.
He's just freaked out about Matt.

I know.

But I'm sure Matt's okay.

You've got a weird look on your face

that makes me think
that we're not okay.

Look, I...

I don't know how else to say this...

...so I'm just gonna say it.

I think we should see other people.

Come on, my dad isn't gonna like
any guy I go out with.

Good. And I hope he doesn't.

But I don't wanna go out with
anybody else. I wanna go out with you.

I feel the same way.

Well, then, what's the problem?
Why would we see other people?

I'm not comfortable
being this close to you.

When you get this close,
things happen real quick.

I mean, it's easy to go from kissing...

...to more than kissing.

Man, this Boy Scout thing
is getting old.

- What?
- Well, maybe it might be nice

to go out with somebody
a little bit bad.

Somebody who isn't 17 going on 30.

Who isn't always trying
to please people,

especially my dad.

I am a bad guy, Mary.

I've got a kid to prove it.

And, yeah,
maybe I'm trying to please people.

Maybe your dad.

But mostly me.

And I've proven that I can have sex.

Now I'd just like to prove
that I can not have sex.

And where am I in this whole thing?

Don't I get a say?
Does my opinion even matter?

You've figured this whole thing out
without even talking to me.

I have never asked you to have sex.

I have never even hinted at it.
And do you know why?

Because I don't wanna have sex yet.

So you can stop worrying about trying
to save me from myself or my desires

or whatever else
you may seem to think I can't control.

I-- I just don't know
where we'll draw the line.

So I'm drawing the line here.

I'm sorry.

Me too.

But I think you're right.

We should see other people.

[BUZZER SOUNDS]

I got your letter.

Did you call the bus company?

Yeah, you wouldn't believe how much
it costs to ride a bus to Philadelphia.

- So?
- So I'm going with Plan B.

This is a very expensive breakup
we're having.

And you? What are you up to?

I mean, I'm not suspicious that you're
hiding behind your dad or anything,

but I'm just wondering.

Miss Rainy sent
a little note home with Ruthie.

Did she?

Ruthie kissed Ricky Stevens
yesterday on the playground.

- Oh.
- He did it first. I did it for revenge.

Great. So I'm the only woman
in this house who hasn't been kissed.

Mwah.

You are so not funny sometimes.

Miss Rainy wants to know
if either set of parents

would like a meeting
with the school board.

You've gotta be kidding.

"This incident may be considered
sexual harassment."

It was just revenge,
and I only kissed him once.

Wait, wait, wait,
did you kiss him or he kiss you?

He kissed me, then I kissed him.

But I won't do it anymore.

[SIGHS]

That's probably a good idea.

I had no idea
kissing was such a big deal.

Well, let me tell you something,
sister, it is.

- Good morning, Luce, Mom, Ruthie.
- Hi.

[MARY CLEARS THROAT]

We'll sign this note
and tell your teacher

that a school board hearing
is not necessary.

Oh, and no more kissing
until you're--

Twenty.

- Thirty tops.
- Yeah.

Mom, would you
hand me the milk, please?

Thank you.

I'm gonna take a shot here.
Something wrong, Mar?

Oh, not for you.

In fact, you'll probably be very,
very happy.

- Did you and Wilson break up?
ERIC: That wouldn't make me happy.

- I like Wilson.
MARY: Oh, really?

Because what you said the other night
about kissing stuck in his head.

He thinks we should see other people
because we're getting too close.

So congratulations,
you scared my boyfriend off.

I didn't mean
to scare off your boyfriend.

Oh, right, like you really didn't mean
to plant that idea in his head.

There must be more to your breakup
than that conversation with Dad.

Fine, take his side.

You know,
maybe someday I'll find a guy

who doesn't do everything
my father tells him to.

You think she can find a guy

- who won't do everything I tell him to?
- Eventually.

[MARY SIGHS]

- Did you talk to Dad?
- Yeah, kind of.

But you know, I tried to get mad
at him, but I don't know.

Maybe seeing other guys
isn't totally horrible.

- Why is that?
- Promise not to say anything.

This would be a really bad time
for Mom and Dad to know about this.

Wow. What? I promise.

It's just that kissing Wilson so much
makes me wonder

what it would be like
to kiss other guys.

- Really?
- Yeah, it's kind of weird.

I mean, Wilson kisses
better than Jeff.

And maybe there's a guy
that kisses better than Wilson.

I'm just kind of curious.

You are so cold.

No, I'm not. I'm just practical.

Hey, I'm 15.

And it's not like Wilson and I
were gonna get married or anything.

I guess.
Just stay away from Charlie Banks.

Now, why would I wanna kiss
your locker buddy?

And if I did, why would you care?

Listen,
I know this might be a bad time,

but I hear you might know
a thing or two about breaking up.

[LUCY LAUGHS]

What are you talking about?

Janice.

She's gotta go.

- Who?
- Janice.

The human telephone.

The boss of me.
The girl I'm going steady with.

Didn't Mom tell you?

Well, let me bring you up to date.

She asked me to go steady,
and I said yes.

She called me three times last night
and twice this morning.

I can't stand the sound of her voice.
She's making me nuts.

Help me.

But help me in a nice way.

I don't wanna hurt her feelings
and get a rep as a bad breakup guy,

because then no one will
ever go steady with me again.

Well, tell her it's not her, it's you.

But it's not me, it's her.
Nothing's wrong with me.

I bet we could find something.

[CHATTERING]

I'll see you later.

Thanks for letting me crash at your
place last night. I really appreciate it.

Thanks for loaning me the 20 bucks.
I'll send it to you.

I know.

Feeling better?

Um, my tooth's okay.

But the rest of me
isn't gonna get over this in a day.

I'm sorry.
And I'm sorry this is so hard.

Sure you're in love with him?

I'm sure.

His sister's deaf and he signs,

and we grew up
in the same community.

It just feels right. I can't explain it.

You don't have to, I get it.

I just get--

It's just that I feel like
I'm the right guy for you.

I wanna marry you someday.

I love you.

I know.

But I can't help the way I feel.

You feel he's the right guy.

Yeah.

So when does your bus leave?

Um... In about seven hours.

Yeah, my dad, uh,
booked a ticket for me,

so I'm supposed to pick it up
at the ticket counter at the station.

How long will it take you
to get back?

About three and a half days.

Just in time for school on Monday.

You want to wait here?

No. No, thanks.

I'll wait at the bus station.

As bad as it is,
I think it might be easier.

Goodbye, Matt.

MATT:
Goodbye.

BOY:
See you.

[CHATTERING]

Excuse me, are you Rita?

Why do you wanna know?

Because Charlie asked me
to give you this.

Really?

Thanks. Anything you need,
just ask. I owe you.

What? Just ask.

Okay, it's just...

Could you kiss me?

What, do you got a bet with someone?

No.

Well, it's not a bet, then, hmm,

- first kiss.
- No, I've been kissed.

Just not "kissed" kissed.

Okay, fine. Never.

So will you?

I could but I won't.

I can't kiss you, peaches.

If I did, we wouldn't
just be friends anymore.

Just hang in there.
We'll find you a great guy to kiss.

Peaches?

Yeah, you've got that peaches-
and-cream complexion thing going.

Like in one of those
soap commercials. It's nice.

Thanks.

I'm telling you. Heartbreaker.

It's okay. I'm young,
my heart can take it.

[BELL RINGS]

I have to break up with Janice.
She's killing me.

Who's Janice?
I thought you were going with Cheryl.

You need a scorecard, Nigel.

Cheryl was taken
by that big guy, Mark.

NIGEL:
Ouch.

So I went steady with Janice.

Congratulations.

No, you don't understand.

Mayday, mayday, did she see me?

Oh, yeah.

Hi.

Hello.

My mom would like you
and your family to come over

Friday night for dinner,

so we all can
get to know each other.

We can't.

Why?

Well, because we're breaking up.

What?

Well, I have to break up
with you because...

Well, because--

Who cares?

Hey, wanna go steady?

Sure.

- Because what?
- What?

Why did you break up with her?

Well, I was gonna say
it wasn't her, it was me,

but I couldn't get the words out.

Anyone who knows you wouldn't
buy that anyways. You're a great guy.

Thanks. Try telling my sisters that.

[GIRLS WHOOPING]

Hey, you wanna play with us?
You can be the prisoner.

I can't. My dad says
Xena is just plain old male-bashing.

- What does that mean?
RICKY: I don't know,

but I can't be involved
in anything Xena.

Too bad,
because Xena's the cool stuff.

Hey, maybe you guys
could play Pretty Pretty Princess.

ALL:
No.

[GIRLS WHOOPING]

Phew.

Sorry, nobody with the name Camden
charged any tickets.

Can you check again?

My mom said my dad
would take care of it.

Yet he hasn't.
So why don't you have a seat?

And if I get any calls,
I'll know where to find you.

What are you doing here?

I couldn't let you spend three days
on a bus with a broken heart,

so I figured
we could fly back together.

[CHUCKLING]

You don't know
how glad I am to see you.

Sorry that I just took off like that.

I just had to see Heather,
not that it made any difference.

I understand.

- You do?
- Oh, yeah.

Let's go home.

Yeah.