7th Heaven (1996–2007): Season 2, Episode 21 - Boyfriends - full transcript

[ORGAN MUSIC PLAYING]

MATT:
Hey, switch places with me.

- Why?
- Because I wanna sit next to Ruthie.

[MATT SIGHS]

Don't you wanna sit next to Matt?

She's just expressing
what everyone else is feeling.

And that would be?

She's angry
that you're abandoning us.

I'm not abandoning anyone,
I'm going to college.

Just the same. In 90 days,
you're leaving your family just like that.

Eighteen years for nothing.



Everyone's gonna leave
sooner or later.

- Mom and Dad aren't leaving.
- They're not supposed to.

And besides,
I'm leaving for a very good reason.

It doesn't matter,
because in the end, you'll be gone.

You want my help
training Happy or not?

You know, all I need to do
to win that contest

is have one really good trick.

But it has to be something special.

Something special, huh?
I think I've got just the thing you need.

- Great.
- I'll help you if you'll work on Ruthie.

I'll try.

But training a dog is a lot easier
than training a kid.

ANNIE:
Thanks.

- Where's Wilson and Mary?
- They're coming.



They're just finishing up
some pre-church tonsil hockey.

[ANNIE LAUGHS]

So when are you gonna tell Mom
and Dad about your summer job?

Will you keep it down?
I'll tell them when the time is right.

Quit being such a chicken
and hurry up and tell them already.

[MUSIC STOPS PLAYING]

Good morning and welcome.

Everyone, nice to have you with us.

RUTHIE:
Look, it's Lucy's old boyfriends.

Sit anywhere you like, guys.

Here we go again.

MARY: Wanna give Billy
something to eat now,

and then put him down for his nap?

I don't know if he's hungry yet.
Besides, he should eat with the family.

MARY:
I don't think he can last that long.

He's doing that thing with the bunny
that he only does when he's tired.

Is he squishing it
or putting it in his mouth?

I think he's hungry.

He's squishing. It's nap time.

If I put him down for a nap now,
he might not sleep

because he's gonna get hungry.

- Where is Billy?
- Living room.

- With?
BOTH: Lucy.

You two are relying on Lucy
a lot lately.

She wants to help. She feels included
and it gives her something to do.

Maybe she'd like to do something else,
like have a boyfriend of her own.

Hey, maybe something will happen
with Jimmy or Rod.

MARY:
Thanks. Oh, it's nap time.

Are you sure? He looks hungry.

Well, it's time for something.

Is Dad home yet?

No, but the second he does get home,
I'll let you know.

I can't believe Rod and Jimmy
are stalking me now.

Maybe Rod and Jimmy just
wanna talk to your father like they said.

Don't be so naive, Mom.

Trust me, I know those two
a little bit better than that.

They're plotting something.

I just wish I knew what.

I'm very flattered that you two have
chosen me to be your class project,

but I have to ask you, why me?

You only work an hour a week.

So we figured
we wouldn't have to put in a lot of time.

Because it's not like
you have a real job.

You know what I mean.

Oh, I know what you mean.

And I hate to disappoint you,

but my job is really more like
a 24-hour-a-day, seven-days-a-week,

always-on-call kind of job.

Whoa, who knew?

So given my rather busy schedule
and the personal nature of my work,

maybe you should follow
one of your own fathers around

for your work-study project.

Can't. No nepotism allowed.

Although, believe me,

my dad could screw this up
just as much as you could.

Well, thank you. That's quite
an incentive to help you out.

Then you'll do it? Great.

You know,
since this is a 24-hour-a-day job,

I think we're gonna have to camp out
at the Camdens.

- Prepared to do that?
- Anything it takes to ace that class,

I'm there.

Have pyjamas, will travel.

No, no, no, you, uh--

You can't camp out at the house.
No, you can't.

[STUTTERING]
The inn is full.

Well, what if we set up a tent
in the backyard?

You know, what if I just call you
when something comes up?

[WHISPERING INAUDIBLY]

- Okay, we'll accept your terms.
- Good.

And here are our pager numbers.

- Yeah, page us. Day or night.
- Okay.

- Kindly give our regards to Lucy?
- Sure.

ERIC:
Just a sec, just a sec.

Um, maybe you'd like to get started

by doing a little research
into the book that my work is based on.

I don't suppose you have some
CliffsNotes to go with these babies?

[SIGHS]

Hey, Ruthie, why don't you
come over here and help us out?

Okay, the key to the trick

is to teach Happy to play dead
on the command "dead dog."

Once you do that, you can say any
before "dead dog," Happy will fall over.

What do you mean "say anything"?

MATT: Example, would you rather be
a cat or a dead dog?

Or would you rather have
Ruthie mad at you or be a dead dog?

Tell him that's not very funny.

If Happy can learn the trick,

you can take her in front of those
dog food company officials and ask:

"Would you have your Pow Chow
taken away or be a dead dog?"

- You are brilliant.
- Thank you.

Happy is gonna be the spokesdog
for Pow Chow dog food.

It's a cinch.

Dead dog.

Let me give you advice dealing
with Ruthie when she's like this.

After all, who knows her better
than her ex-roommate?

- Okay, I'm listening.
- Silent treatment gets silent treatment.

She'll crack,
but you have to ignore her completely.

Happy, rise.

Nice.

Hey, what's for lunch? I'm starving.

Oh, oh, no, I'm not gonna
feed you anything

until you tell me
what Lucy's old boyfriends are up to.

Oh, Jimmy and Rod? They're
studying me for a school project.

- Oh.
- It's for career day. Social sciences.

[LAUGHING]

- Really?
- Yeah, really.

- Is that funny?
- No.

Yeah, no, then why did you laugh?

No reason.
I was just surprised, that's all.

Aren't we being a little sensitive?

Yes, I am, I'm sorry, I'm tired.
Why am I so tired?

Because we're raising five kids,
and with Billy, it's more like six.

And then there's Wilson
and that makes seven.

I love Billy, but...

The whole family loves Billy,
but I think we're all a little Billyed out.

And Mary and Wilson
are like a married couple with a kid.

I just don't like the way that feels.

- What are we gonna do about it?
- I have a plan.

I love your plans.

Well, my dad is gonna give Matt
some money for graduation,

and just to even things out,

he wants to send a little something
for the other kids.

And I was thinking
that since Matt is using his money

to pay for his way
to summer orientation,

that we should put grandpa's money

towards something educational
for the kids,

like camp.

Uh, camp is educational?

Oh, work with me. Work with me.

Yes, camp can be educational
if we choose wisely and quickly.

I think I can get Mary, Lucy,
Simon and Ruthie out of the house

out of the house the same week
that Matt is at his orientation.

That will be our reward for getting him
through 12 years of school.

This is a good plan.
This is a very good plan.

ANNIE:
Mm-hm.

What was that?

Is there something going on
with Matt?

What makes you think
anything's going on?

Aha. A question
answered with a question.

- Spill it.
- It's not my information to spill.

And it would be nice
if instead of grilling me,

you told me what Jimmy and Rod
are up to.

Oh, they've teamed up
to write a career-day project on me.

[GIRLS LAUGHING]

- Why you?
- Why not?

No, you know that your father's work
is very important.

I mean, it affects the quality of life
for hundreds of people.

I also think they find
your father's work interesting,

at least in part,
because, um, he's your father

and neither of them is over you.

You're mocking me.

Luce, you don't really want either of
them as a boyfriend, now, do you?

No, I just want them to want me.

But when both of them wanted you,
you turned both of them down.

Uh, don't confuse me with the details.

I'm just saying it's nice to be wanted.

When it's the right guy.

Maybe you should get your mind off
finding a boyfriend

and just be friends
with Jimmy and Rod.

You told them you wanted to be friends
when you broke up, didn't you?

Oh, yeah.
And that worked out swell, didn't it?

The two of them paired up
like Martin and Lewis

and used me to get to Dad.

- You know who Martin and Lewis are?
- Explorers.

Those are the two guys
who went down that river.

Or up that river.

The Mississippi or Missouri
or Mason-Dixon.

Whatever.
Why are you quizzing me?

You do go to school during the day,
don't you?

- Lewis and Clark?
- Thank you.

[LAUGHS]

It won't work.

[MATT GRUNTS]

Hey, kid, no falling down stairs
when you're at other people's houses.

[BILLY BABBLES]

MATT: Stay out of this.
- Stay out of what?

You two lost your minds?

We weren't doing anything,
we just put Billy down for a nap.

And I guess we fell asleep.

I don't ever wanna see you in bed
with my sister again,

even under the guise
of taking a nap.

I mean haven't you learned anything
from your mistake?

You have no right
to talk to my boyfriend like that.

Boyfriend? You're acting more
like he's your husband.

- I better go.
- You don't have to.

I think I do.

- You wanna talk to me again?
- Yes, we do.

I told you,
Wilson and I weren't doing anything.

You should be talking to Matt.

We did talk to him and we know
you weren't doing anything.

Then if you believe me,
what's the problem?

Well, you and Wilson have been
spending a lot of time together.

And?

And it must be difficult
trying to be a mother to a 2-year-old

when it's not really
your responsibility.

Are you enjoying the role?

Sometimes and sometimes not.
Why?

- Okay, let's talk about something else.
- Fine.

Your grandfather is giving us
a little money

to share with you kids
so we were wondering--

If you'd still be interested in that
basketball camp you wanted?

Are you kidding? I'd be totally
interested. That'd be great.

ANNIE:
I was looking at the application.

If you wanna go,
we need to mail the form right away.

Yes, yes, mail it.
I wanna go, I really do.

We also have to submit
a doctor's statement,

so you're gonna need a physical.

That is fine.
Anything you want, I'll do it.

Wow, I thought you guys
were gonna punish me.

I can't wait to tell Wilson
the good news.

We'd prefer you
just do your homework tonight.

Yeah,
you can talk to Wilson tomorrow.

I only have a couple of days
of school left

I don't have any homework.

The idea here is to spend
one evening away from Wilson.

- It'll be good for you.
- You mean it'll be good for you.

Yes, it'll be good for us to see

that our daughter
still has some independence

and her own life
with her own priorities.

Fine.

- Good.
- Yeah, yeah.

Look,
I know I may have overreacted.

- May have?
- Well, somebody has to do something.

Mary and Wilson are acting like
they're married, she's not even 16 yet.

Come on, what's this really about?

Okay, I'm getting a little nervous
about leaving you two.

Have you told Mom and Dad

that you're leaving
a few months earlier than expected?

No, I just don't know
how to break the news to them.

Can't we talk about this?

You slapped me.

Don't even say it.
I'm not talking to him.

I know, I just can't stand
to see the two of you fighting like this.

He's only upset
because he's worried

about what's gonna happen to us
when he goes away.

Because he doesn't think either of us
has sense to take care of ourselves.

No, he just doesn't wanna see
anything bad happen to us.

I'm not talking about this.

- Call Wilson.
- Why?

Because I can't, I wanna tell him
I'm going to basketball camp.

How are you gonna do that?

Mom and Dad said
they didn't have the money.

Well, now they do.
Grandpa gave them some.

- Dial.
- Well, what am I getting?

Dial, please.

[PHONE RINGS]

- Hello?
- Hi, Wilson, it's Lucy.

I'm calling for Mary,
she's not supposed to call you.

We're supposed to take a break
from each other.

You're supposed to take a break.

How's Mary doing?

LUCY: She's okay,
she's still really mad at Matt.

[SIGHS]

Yeah, yeah, I've gotta talk to him.

I feel terrible
about what happened this afternoon.

It was irresponsible for Mary and me
to be together like that.

Wilson says he's gotta talk to Matt.

He feels bad about how you guys
were together like you were today.

He says it was irresponsible.

- No, it wasn't.
- Mary says, "No, it wasn't."

Yeah, tell her
we'll talk about this tomorrow.

He says
you'll talk about this tomorrow.

Tell him I'm going to basketball camp
the week after school is out.

Mary's going to basketball camp
the week after school is out.

That's great.
Tell her I'll miss her, but it's still great.

He says that's great.

Well, hey, you know if you're lonely,

you can always come over
and hang out with me.

- I won't be doing anything.
- You might be doing something.

- What do you mean?
- I think I found a guy for you.

- No way.
- No way, what?

You've been so great
helping out with Billy lately

that I wanted to do something
for you.

So I came home

and I tried to think of a guy
I could set you up with.

I remembered there was
this new kid across the street

who seems nice
and I think he's your age.

So I'm gonna go over there
and ask him

if he'd like to meet a nice,
good-looking girl.

Your timing couldn't be better.
With Jimmy and Rod hanging around,

this is perfect.

What's perfect?

So, what's his name? How old is he?
Where is he from?

Don't hold anything back.

WILSON:
I wouldn't hold anything back on you.

And remember, I'm new
at the whole matchmaking thing.

Would you rather have
your Pow Chow taken away from you

or be a dead dog?

[GRUNTING]

Yes! Happy.

Yes, all right! Good girl.

Good girl. Yes, I'm so proud of you,
Happy.

- Did Happy do the trick?
- Yeah, yeah, she did the trick. Watch.

Sit.

Good.

Would you rather have
your Pow Chow taken away from you

or be a dead dog?

Um, its-- It's okay.
She did it once, she can do it again.

[SIMON SIGHS]

Would you rather have
your Pow Chow taken away from you

or be a dead dog?

Keep trying.

It's working, keep it up.

Would you rather have
your Pow Chow taken away

or be a dead dog?

[GRUNTS]

[PAGER BEEPING]

LUCY [ON PHONE]:
That's great.

WILSON [ON PHONE]:
The questions you told me to ask...

Lucy's on the phone with Wilson.

Why would Lucy be on the phone
with Wilson?

Because her sister's not allowed to.

Mary got us on a technicality.

Brains and beauty. Huh, good for us.

Oh, yeah.

You know, I like that we're
non-judgemental enough

to let Mary date a teenage father--

A very responsible teenage father.

Yes, very responsible.

But I hope that in trying
not to judge Wilson by his past,

we're not creating a situation

where he and Mary
are too comfortable.

Didn't Matt take care
of their comfort level this afternoon?

Yeah.

[PAGER BEEPING]

[SIGHS]

WILSON [ON PHONE]:
It's--

Hey, I gotta use the phone.

Yeah, it's Reverend Camden,
did you beep me?

ROD [ON PHONE]:
Hey, it's us.

And who exactly is "us"?

It's Rod and Jimmy, your M.I.T.s.

M.I.T.s?

Your ministers in training.

- [MOUTHS] Rod and Jimmy.
- Oh.

Uh, what's going on?

Actually,
that's what we'd like to know.

We've been trying to call you
for an hour.

We were hoping
that it was some church emergency.

No.
One of the kids was using the phone.

No emergency,
one of the kids was on the phone.

Actually,
Lucy was talking to some guy.

Okay, we're a little disappointed,
but we'll stay in touch.

You do that.

Lucy was talking to some guy,
nice touch.

ERIC:
Yeah.

[STUDENTS CHATTERING]

- We'll get right down to business.
- Yeah, business.

We hear you have a boyfriend.

And where did you hear that?

- Your dad.
- And he cannot tell a lie.

We were trying to get through to him
strictly for the project and we couldn't.

When we beeped him, he said
you were on the phone with a guy.

- So what?
- So...

Congratulations.

- Yeah, what's he like?
- Why do you wanna know?

We both wanna know.
We're all friends, aren't we?

No, the two of you are friends.

But neither one of you
has spoken to me in months.

I apologise for that oversight.

Yeah, sorry.

We need a ride
to casa Camden after school,

If you wouldn't mind
mentioning that.

No, I can't mention that to Matt

and there's no more room
in the car anyway.

And if you can kindly keep
your school project

confined to the church...

I don't want the two of you
hanging out around the house.

Oh, right, the new boyfriend.

Oh, yeah, that may be a problem.

Then why don't you get some other
old girlfriend's dad to help you out?

Saucy lady.

We've gotta check out
this boyfriend.

Hey, Matt, how about a lift
to your homestead this afternoon?

No.

[KNOCKS]

Maybe we should just call up the Rev,
get him to pick us up.

Yeah, yeah, we'll beep him later.
It'll give him something to do, huh.

MATT:
Are you sure?

I can't believe this.

Do you wanna make the call or
should I give your parents the news?

No, no, I'll tell them.

- You told them about the job yet?
- No.

Get on it, Matt.
This is something you can't hide.

By tomorrow night,
it'll be in the local paper.

Ugh. The counsellor's office,
I wonder what that was about.

If I'd have to bet, I'd say
our big brother is in trouble again.

- Hey, Mom.
ANNIE: Hey, hi, girls.

Yes, food.

You know, you have a
doctor's appointment in a half an hour.

I guess we all can't be lucky enough
to go away to basketball camp.

You wanna go away to camp?

I don't play basketball.

No, but there are other camps.

Camp Catchurpride?

No way.

What do you mean? Why not?

Because it's a bunch of ugly girls
with backpacks and no self-esteem.

I think it'd be good for you.

Oh, that's not what I meant.

I meant that it sounds
like it could be fun and challenging.

You can't be serious.

ANNIE:
Yes, I'm serious.

Look, just give it some thought.

So,
what's Lucy giving some thought to?

Camp.
You see, your father and I are thinking

about letting all you kids
go off to camp this summer.

- What camp?
- What do you say, Space Camp?

Well, I'd only say it's the best camp
in the whole world.

- Yes.
- If I had any interest at all in space.

Dead dog.

[GRUNTS]

Everyone gets to go to camp?

Uh, we thought since Matt has to go
off and look at his new school,

that we'd let the rest of you kids
go off that week

and do something
that you really like to do.

Good idea. Me and you
could use a little break around here.

Well, actually,
your grandpa was saying

that he'd love to have you come
and visit for couple of days in Phoenix.

Yeah, but then you and Daddy
would be home all alone.

That's right.

You'll never pull it off.

Hey, Mom,
when's Dad coming home?

Oh, he's out with Jimmy and Rod.
They should be back, oh, around 6--

Nice chatting.

Hey, Ruthie, come here a sec.

- What?
SIMON: Just stand there a second.

Okay, Happy, dead dog.

[GRUNTS]

This is crazy.

She does the trick every time
if nobody's in the room but me.

- Obviously, she has stage fright.
- How do you know that?

Because I get it every year

when we have to do
that Christmas pageant at church.

I can play the shepherd's boy
like nobody's business in my room,

but once I get out
in front of the whole church,

my stomach gets dinosaurs in it.

Butterflies. This is no good.

Happy has to do this trick
in front of a whole bunch of people

from the Pow Chow
dog food company tomorrow.

Bye-bye, Pow Chow.

[SCOFFS]

[SIGHS]

I just feel so pressured right now,
I'm crazy.

Yeah, yeah, I know.

Mary wants you to get off the phone.

She's gotta call Wilson
before she goes to the doctor.

Just hang on a sec.
It's not easy being her big brother.

I know it didn't look good.
And more than that,

I was irresponsible
for not watching after my son.

I'm exhausted from finals and dating
and being a dad

and I guess I just literally fell asleep
on the job.

I can understand that.
I didn't mean to overreact,

it's just the image of you
and Mary together in bed.

I mean I know you're not having sex,
but still, it just threw me for a loop.

Matt's talking to Wilson.

Why are you talking to Matt?

- Well, he called to apologise.
- Apology unaccepted.

If you and I are gonna be
in a relationship

and I'm not speaking to my brother,
then you're not speaking to him either.

Why don't you speak to him
so we all can just speak to each other?

Because Matt doesn't deserve
to be spoken to.

- You slapped me.
- He asked for it.

But who cares? He's not even
gonna be living here anymore, anyway.

And would you rather be
on speaking terms

with someone who's living
2000 miles away or with me?

ANNIE:
Mary, doctor's appointment.

With you, but--

ANNIE:
Mary, let's go.

[MARY GRUNTS]

You're not going along
with her on that, are you?

I guess for the time being, I have to.

- Hello, Wilson?
- Luce?

Did you talk to that guy yet?

Yeah, I did, but could I tell you
about that after I talk to Mary?

Mary's left, she had to go to a doctor's
appointment for basketball camp.

Oh, okay, well, I'll catch her later.

But I did talk to that guy.

Um, his name is Kenny
and he is interested.

- When can I meet him?
- How does tomorrow sound?

I'll bring him by after school.

If that's as soon as you can get him
over here, great.

- Great, I'll see you then.
- Thanks, Wilson. Bye-bye.

Look, guys, I know it's been
kind of a depressing afternoon

with the soup kitchen,
and the hospital, and now this,

but it's all part of a routine day
in the life of a minister.

No problem. That soup kitchen
had better gravy on the potatoes

than my mom makes.

Yeah, and those rolls were nothing
to sneeze at either. Ha, ha.

- You ate?
- What, we weren't supposed to?

ERIC:
No, that's okay, it's okay.

I just try to leave
whatever food is there for the hungry.

Anyway, I--

I can never eat
and then go to the hospital.

How come?

It's kind of depressing,
and the smells...

While you were visiting that woman,

we saw this guy
with a coat hanger in his eye.

ROD: Big-time gross.
- Yeah, way better than a movie.

When Closets Attack. Ha-ha, all right.

Hello, Reverend,
are you here to take me for a spin?

Ready when you are, Mrs. Arnold.

Okay, guys, I'm gonna take
Mrs. Arnold out for a little fresh air.

Feel free to make yourselves useful.

[ERIC IMITATES AN AIRPLANE]

[MRS. ARNOLD LAUGHS]

[PEOPLE CHATTERING]

Mary, you do have to talk to Matt.

I can't. I'm too mad at him.

You know what I think, I think
you're mad at him about yesterday,

but more than that,
I think you're mad at him for leaving.

Yeah, we're all gonna miss him a lot
sooner than you think.

What do you mean by that?

Mom,
Matt's leaving for the summer.

He got a job, but he's not adult enough
to tell you or Dad about it,

yet he thinks he's adult enough
to start acting like my father.

Wait,
I don't think I'm hearing this right.

Matt's leaving for the summer?

Yup, next week.

[UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYING]

[PEOPLE CHATTERING
AND LAUGHING]

That looks like fun.

Sorry I missed dinner.
I got caught up with Jimmy and Rod.

I was trying to impress upon them
the everyday difficulties of my job.

ANNIE: How'd you do?
- They enjoyed every minute of it.

I'm exhausted.

Hey, Mom, Dad, I wanna show you
something Happy can do.

Not now, Simon.

Whoops, sorry.

Oh, I'm sorry, Simon,
just give us a minute, okay?

I promise we'll watch Happy's trick.

Okay.

- Are you okay?
- Yeah, just a little tired.

The doctor roped me
into taking a physical while I was there

so I'm feeling a little icky.
And there is something else.

- Who told?
- Who told us what?

- I know it was Mary.
- What did Mary tell? What's going on?

The good news is I'm valedictorian.

[ANNIE AND ERIC LAUGHING]

ERIC: Congratulations.
MATT: Thanks.

[SIGHS]

Uh, the bad news is
is that I need to leave

before I have a chance
to make my speech.

Leave? Leave for where?

I got a job in Washington D.C.,
a summer work programme.

A government gig.

I don't have my assignment yet,
I probably won't until I get there.

So no graduation?

You'd be leaving
in just a couple of days?

[ERIC SIGHS]

- Anybody home?
ANNIE: I'm up here.

Hi.

Is that to keep Billy
from falling down the stairs

or Wilson from coming up?

Both.

I was hoping
never to see one of those things again.

Me too.

I remember the first one I put up
for Matt.

Remember,
we couldn't get it unlatched,

so we had to keep jumping over it
to get in and out of the kitchen.

Yeah, it's hard to believe
Matt could be jumping on a plane

to Washington D.C.
in a couple of days.

Did you come by
just to depress me?

No, I came by to pick up Happy

and then I'm off with her and Simon
to the Pow Chow contest.

Oh, well, she was here
just a second ago.

Hap, come here.

Feel like going for a ride, Happy?

ANNIE:
Here she is.

Are Jimmy and Rod tagging along?

Absolutely, I picked them up at 6
this morning for hospital visits,

then dragged them
to a budget meeting

before dropping them off at school.

Couldn't you have done that
this afternoon? They're out early.

No, this afternoon
I'm gonna show them

how I also have to balance my work
with family obligations.

You might not
wanna bring them home

because Wilson's bringing over
this Kenny guy for Lucy.

I know, I'm going to call first.

If Kenny's good, I'm supposed to
come by with Rod and Jimmy

so she can show off her boyfriend.
If Kenny's a dud, I dispose of them.

- You actually agreed to that?
- Oh, yeah.

As Lucy pointed out, Matt would do it
and Matt's gonna be gone

so this is the perfect opportunity
for me

to start filling in on some of the things
a big brother would do for her.

You see, I owe her
because Matt's leaving,

at least in part because he can't take
living under our rules anymore.

And in return,
she'll consider going to camp.

Mmm!

ERIC:
Come on, Hap.

Hey, knock them dead.

I should have gone in to get Ruthie.

Mary's got no motivation
to get back to the car.

Relax, you don't want this guy
to think you're anxious.

No,
but I want him to think I'm clean.

I wanna take a shower,
change my clothes,

maybe put some makeup on,

or think of something interesting
to say in conversation.

You're putting too much pressure
on yourself.

See if you wanna go
to any trouble after you meet him.

- You might not like him.
- Why wouldn't I?

It's a blind date.
Blind dates hardly ever work out.

Why would Wilson fix me up with
some guy who's not gonna work out?

It's hard for someone to pick out the
same person you'd pick for yourself.

So basically, what you're saying

is you don't think that Wilson thinks
as much of me as I think of myself,

so he's gonna bring over some guy
who's not that great

because he doesn't think
that I'm that great?

- Knock it off, that's not what I said.
- Yes, it is.

And you know what, you only have
a couple of days left here

and you're ruining it for everyone.

Who's gonna drive us
to school next year?

Mom and Dad.

Who's gonna drive us to get ice cream
when we're supposed to just go home?

Dad.

Who's gonna drive us
to go get breakfast burritos

when we're already late for church?

Mom. And hey,
don't worry about it, okay?

I'm gonna get my licence soon

and then I can drive you
anywhere you wanna go.

When Matt let you drive,
didn't you run over that guy's mailbox?

Let's go.

- Get back in the front.
- I'm not sitting next to him.

- What, is he being mean to you too?
- I'm not being mean to anyone.

[CAR ENGINE STARTS]

WOMAN: Good girl.
- You nervous?

It doesn't matter if I'm nervous,
she's nervous.

Happy will calm down
if you calm down, promise.

[DOG BARKS]

How am I supposed to do that?

Well, every year at Christmas when
Ruthie's in the pageant at church?

- Yeah?
- I know how nervous she gets

and so what we do is,
we try to just take a deep breath

and then exhale very slowly
every time we feel any anxiety at all.

And pretty soon,
without even thinking about it,

we're relaxed and Ruthie's relaxed.

No, she's not,
she has dinosaurs in her stomach.

Simon Camden and Happy.

You can do it, girl.

Good luck, son.

These other mutts suck, man.

Yeah, and take a look at the owners.

Simon?

Come on, Happy.

Simon,
please stand on the spot marked X,

and don't allow Happy
to step outside the circle okay?

Okay, here we go.

Okay, Happy,

would you rather have your Pow Chow
taken away or be a dead dog?

[JUDGES LAUGHING]

How cute.

JUDGE 2: Oh, so clever.
JUDGE 3: Oh, really nice job.

JUDGE 1:
Very good.

MARY: Time's up. They're here.
- And?

I have no idea what you're gonna
think of him, he looks okay to me.

- Just okay?
- I'm not doing this, let's go.

SIMON:
Turn on the TV. Turn on the TV.

ROD: Turn it on.
ERIC: TV. TV. TV.

Hey. I thought
you were supposed to call first.

- I forgot, come on, come on, come on.
- What's going on?

ROD:
Hey, nice to meet you.

Yeah, welcome to the family.

Mom, you're not gonna believe this.

We're gonna be on the news.

Hey, everyone, um, this is Kenny.

- Kenny, this is everyone.
ALL: Hi, Kenny.

In particular, this is Lucy.

- Kenny, Lucy.
- Hi.

- Lucy, Kenny.
- Hi.

[CHATTERING ON TV]

Hey, turn it up, Simon.

REPORTER [ON TV]:
And today, the local winner

of the Pow Chow dog food contest

is none other than this happy dog
named Happy,

trained by her master,
Simon Camden.

Okay, Happy,

would you rather have your Pow Chow
taken away or be dead dog?

[HAPPY GRUNTS]

[ALL CHEERING]

SIMON:
I owe you big time, bro. I owe you.

[SCREAMING]

What is it, sweetie pie?

That blond creep stole my dog.

Great trick.
I've gotta see that one again, folks.

Okay, Happy,

would you rather have your Pow Chow
taken away or be a dead dog?

[HAPPY GRUNTS]

See, that's Whitey.

Are you sure, honey?
Whitey's been gone almost two years.

Yes, I'm sure, that's her.
And I want her back.

Well, then, we'll get her back for you,
sweetie pie, we'll get her back.

[CHEERING]

I think this calls for a celebration.
Ice cream, anyone?

ALL: Yeah!
- Come on, I'll help you.

That's okay, guys.

I'd better take Happy for a walk,
do you wanna come?

Well, I'm certainly not welcome here.
Why not?

So this is a pretty exciting day, huh?

Yeah, it's not every day
that the family dog's on TV.

No, I meant it's pretty exciting meeting
someone you're instantly attracted to.

For me, at least.
It's very nice to meet you.

[MOUTHS]
Thank you.

- Got anyone for me?
ROD: I thought they already met.

You don't think the Reverend would lie,
do you?

For his daughter?
The man's a minister, not a saint.

You're such a great mom.

Who else would just drop
what they're doing and throw a party?

I look at it this way.

I'm not gonna get them out
without feeding them

and I don't want them all sticking
around for hours waiting for dinner.

[PHONE RINGING]

Hello?

Yes. I'll hold.

It's Dr. Peterson's office.
They want me to hold for him.

Hi, Dr. Peterson.

Yeah, I'm fine, or at least I was
until now. Is everything okay?

No, I don't-- I don't wanna come down.
You can tell me on the phone.

Thank you for letting us know.

Mary's...

Mary's pregnant.