7th Heaven (1996–2007): Season 2, Episode 11 - Lead, Follow or Get Out of the Way - full transcript

Mom. Hey, Mom.

Watch this. Watch.

- No.
SIMON: Watch this, Mom.

- Simon.
SIMON: Ta-da!

No.

You gotta admit,
I was closer this time.

Don't worry, once my magic kit
comes with the instructions,

I'll be able to pull an entire tablecloth
off of any table.

Or not. I'm flexible.

[PHONE RINGING]

I got it.



Gosh, I hope that's your father.
I thought he'd be home by now.

It's not like him to stay out
this late without calling.

It's for you. Again.

I'll take that in the kitchen.

Lucy certainly has had
a lot of phone calls tonight.

What?
I don't know anything, I swear.

Hey, how's your after-school rehab
with the coach coming along?

Oh, it's great.
Coach Koper's awesome.

He says if I stay focused
on my goals,

I could be back on the team
in no time.

You know, he was going to be a coach
for the WNBA, but he wanted to teach.

And you bought that?

Hey, Mom? You know, it's possible
that Dad's being held by aliens

who have him confused with God
because he was in the church.



They think he has special powers,

so they wanna bring him back on
their spaceship so they can study him.

Yeah, or he could be
picking up ice cream.

- Hey, guys. I'm sorry I'm so late.
- Hi.

- Whoa, what's going on?
- Okay, are you ready?

Thank you. Get this.

The local TV station
is gonna be coming around

to various churches in the community
to televise the services.

And whichever church
draws the biggest audience

is gonna be considered
for a regular weekly telecast.

Televised every Sunday.

And guess what?

Our church is first on the list.

I'm gonna be on TV.

Sunday! Me.

That's great, Dad.

Yeah, cool.

Dad, I thought you were with aliens.

Daddy, did you buy any ice cream?

No. But--

Oh, what'd I miss, what'd I miss?

Evidently nothing.

[PHONE RINGING]

Eric?

Eric, could you get that?

- Hello.
- Don't, it's Mrs. Hinkle.

Hi, Mrs. Hinkle, how are you?

She wants me to pick up
her prescription.

- But I gotta write my sermon.
- Oh, your denture cream?

Uh-huh. Well, I'm sure Eric
would have called you back,

but he's so busy trying to get ready
for Sunday's big broadcast.

That's right, yeah,
we're all pretty excited.

Well, why don't I take care of it
for you?

It's no problem. No, Mrs. Hinkle.

Yeah, I'll see you in a bit, okay?
Bye-bye.

You sure you don't mind?

- No.
- No?

I didn't mind taking the choir robes
to the dry cleaner's this morning.

- Oh.
- And, uh...

I didn't mind calling
the choirmaster for you,

requesting the changes you wanted
in the Sunday service.

And I didn't mind driving
the church secretary to the airport.

I did have a little trouble
with that cage with her two dogs,

getting it, you know,
in and out of the minivan.

I'm really sorry about that.
I do appreciate it.

It's just that I really need
to stay focused on writing this sermon.

- How's that going?
- Good.

- Nothing, huh?
- No.

I mean, it's getting there.
I'm formulating some ideas.

- It's Friday.
- It sure is.

That's why I really need
to get back to work.

ANNIE: I don't want you to think
that I mind helping you out,

but didn't you used to get
your best sermon ideas

when you were out
doing your usual routine?

That would be okay if this were
just one of my usual Sunday sermons,

but it's gonna be on television.

I need something more.
I need something special.

Whatever you want.

You know, I know how important
this could be for the church.

Oh, one more thing.
The gardener's sick.

Do you think you could
put your green thumb to work

on the shrubs
around the front of the church?

It's gonna be the opening shot.
I really want a good first impression.

- I'll see what I can do.
- Great, you're the best.

Oh, and while you're there,

do you think you could look
at the plants inside the church?

- Come to think of it, maybe--
- Order some extra flowers for Sunday.

- Yeah.
- Sure, I can do it all.

But, you know,
I've got a roast that I've prepared

that's sitting in the refrigerator.

It needs to go in the oven
this afternoon at 3:00.

Could you handle that?

- Of course, no-- Gladly, yeah.
ANNIE: Yeah.

Turn the oven to 350.

- Right. Three...?
- Fifty.

Fifty. Right.

And I'll write it all down.
I'll be home before it's done.

- It's not a problem. Consider it done.
- Okay.

Remember, folks,
this is your midterm grade.

If you don't like what you see,
consider this a wake-up call.

You still have time to pull it up
before the end of the term.

You'll need to get these back to me
by Monday

with your parent's signature.

Hey, Luce.
Welcome to the bottom of the heap.

Man, I didn't even study
and I got a D.

It's about time
you hit a slump, Camden.

You were throwing off the curve
for the rest of us.

Anything I could do to help.

[BELL RINGS]

- I'll give you a call later.
- Yeah, me too, me too.

I can't use the phone anymore.

CHRISTINE:
Don't sweat it.

Just sign it yourself.
They never check.

I'll sign it if you want.
What's your parents' last name?

Camden. Same as mine.

Wow, how unusual.
Hey, give it to me, I'll do it.

Oh, that's okay. Thanks anyways.

You sure? Okay, then.

- I guess we'll see you tomorrow.
- Yeah. Cool.

- See you later.
- Later.

What's up with the slackers?

- Slackers?
- Yeah, Todd used to be in my class.

Why do you hang out
with those guys?

I think they're nice.

They just don't do that well in school,
that's all.

Besides, Todd's okay.
He goes to our church.

I never said he wasn't nice.

He just did better in school before
he hooked up with a bunch of losers.

[WHISTLES]

If you're having trouble,
why didn't you ask for help?

I don't know.
I didn't know I was having trouble.

Or this much trouble.

Any idea who you're gonna get
to sign that for you?

- Is that an offer?
- No.

Fine. So I got one bad grade.
What's the big deal?

Better hope Mom and Dad
agree with you.

MARY:
Hey, coach.

- Hey, Mary, how's the knee?
- Great.

I've been concentrating
on squats and lunges.

- And I did a hundred last night.
- That's what I like.

- How's it feel?
- A lot stronger.

- I'm ready for anything else.
- Okay, great.

I'll see you in about, say, 20 minutes?

- I'll be there.
- Okay.

Hey, Camden.
You coming to practise today?

Yeah, we can use all the help
we can get.

We're getting killed
under the boards.

- Yeah, I know, but I'm still in rehab.
- How's it going?

Great. Coach Koper thinks I could
be back at practise in a week.

You better,
because we're sunk without you.

Thanks, you guys.
It's great to be missed.

Hey, I heard we got a new girl
trying out today.

- A transfer. Diane something.
- Really? Is she a player?

I've never heard of her.
Can't be that special.

I'll stop by and check out
before I hit the weight room.

- Okay, cool.
- I'll catch you guys at the gym?

- Yeah.
- See you.

Matt, pick me up at 5.

Be out front, I don't wanna
have to come and get you.

- You don't wanna run into Koper.
- Give the lady a prize.

Oh, yes.

[DOG GRUNTING]

Oh, sorry, girl. Sorry.

No, I'm just about
to get back to work.

I mean it this time.

Happy, wait.
Don't go. Stay, stay.

Okay. Okay, all right. Okay.

- We're home, Mom.
- Mom?

LUCY:
Your lucky day, Houdini.

Yes. My magic set.

[PHONE RINGING]

Hello? Hang on a sec.

It's for you.

I wouldn't get caught
on the phone all night.

The sooner you study, the sooner
Mom and Dad forget about that D.

Look, don't go parental on me.
I can handle it.

Hi.

[LUCY LAUGHS]

Wow. You know, not many people could
make that look work, Mom, but you...

Had a little fight with the garden hose
down at the church.

The hose won.

ERIC:
Hi, honey, how's it go--?

- I'll get it.
- No, I'll get it.

I'll put it in. I'll put it in now.
It's not too late. 350, right?

Three-fi-- I'll put it--

Now, before I show you anything,

you'll have to swear to me,
as my loyal assistant,

that you'll take my secrets of illusion
and prestidigitation to the grave.

I'm okay with everything
except the assistant part.

SIMON:
Why?

All the world's best magicians
have assistants.

I don't wanna hurt your feelings,

but you're not
one of the world's best magicians.

You can't even do a trick yet.

The assistant
gets to wear a costume.

Like your bathing suit with that
feather boa around your neck.

- Not bad, huh?
- What do you get to wear?

What all the great magicians wear,
of course.

Black pants,
black shirt and a black cape.

Oh, right, and I'm in a bathing suit?
I wanna wear the cape.

No. Only the magician
gets to wear the cape.

Besides, I thought you liked
wearing your bathing suit.

I do, it's very comfortable.

But I don't wanna stand around in it
looking dumb

waiting for you to saw me in half.

Well, you can't be the magician.

Well, if I can't be the magician,
I don't wanna be anything.

I bet you'd be my assistant,
huh, girl?

[INDISTINCT CHATTERING
AND SHOUTING]

MARY: Cheryl, have
you seen Coach Koper?

I was supposed to meet him
at the weight room and he didn't show.

CHERYL:
He's over there.

KOPER:
Okay, here we go, Diane. Nice.

Nice.

[GIRLS CHEERING]

KOPER: There it is.
GIRL: Yeah!

KOPER:
There you go.

Very good.

There's all right.
Thank you very much.

It looks like we found ourselves
a shooting guard.

Thank you, Diane. Mary, I'm sorry.
I forgot all about you. Listen.

Why don't you go work on some of
the exercises I gave you on your own?

But remember, take it slow.
I just gotta get Diane settled in.

You wanna meet her?

No, thanks. Maybe later.

All right. See you.

Okay. Listen.

Do it again.

See? The Great Simoni has taken
an everyday ordinary pencil

and turned it from rubber
back into wood.

Yep, it's wood, all right.

Anybody can do that.

Oh, yeah?

- Hey, what's that thing in your ear?
- What?

It looks like you've got some cents
in that head after all.

I believe that's my penny.

Pull me out a quarter.
Or, like, a dollar.

No, I could, but I don't feel like it.

Tell me how you did it.

Only his assistant can know
The Great Simoni's secrets.

That's not going to happen,

so I guess I'll just go ask
The Great Daddy.

- He'll tell me.
- Ha. Good luck.

Okay, girl, I promise,

I'm just gonna pull a penny
out of your ear, just like Ruthie.

[WHIMPERS]

[DEE DEE SHARP'S "MASHED
POTATO TIME" PLAYING ON RADIO]

[MOUTHING WORDS]

Hey, Ruthie.

- That was pretty good.
- Thank you.

I just wanted to ask you something.

Is it really important?
Because I'm trying to write.

I thought you were trying to dance.

Oh, that, no...

I'm just trying to work through
a little writer's block.

- Where's the block?
- It's in my head.

My head has money in it,
but I can't get it out.

Look, Ruthie,
how about we talk about this later?

Because I really have to get ready
for this big sermon on Sunday.

I'm gonna be on TV, you know.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know.

RUTHIE:
I'm starving. I could eat a horse.

Oh, well, maybe these will help.

And I will have dinner ready
real soon, okay?

Do you know that Dad can dance?
And he has a block in his head.

Oh, yes, dear.

A lot of men have them,
but his will go away soon.

Do you know how to pull money
out of someone's ear?

No, I don't, but maybe Simon does.

- What?
- Nothing.

I see Coach Koper's
working wonders.

You jerk.

- Hey, I was just kidding around.
- Well, I'm not in the mood.

Why?

Oh, no reason.
My game sucks, I've lost my touch,

and I'm two steps too slow,
but that's nothing.

I got you on the team once.
I can get you back again.

I don't need your help.

Looks like you do to me.

Hey, what's wrong?

Let me go.

I'll let you go if you tell me.

But I wanna be a magician,
not a magician's assistant.

Grab a few plates and set the table.

Oh, and Matt, grab some of that food
and take it to the dining room, please.

[OVEN BEEPING]

RUTHIE: I'll set the table.
- Thanks.

What was that all about?

- None of your business.
- Will you two hold it down?

BOTH: Get off the phone!
LUCY: I gotta go.

I never do this to you
when you're on the phone.

Our friends aren't
at the bottom of the curve.

Lucy's friends
are none of your business either.

Fine, did she tell you she got a D
on her American History midterm?

You're failing history?

- You're quitting the basketball team?
- What?

Don't go telling Mom and Dad.
I'll tell them when I'm ready.

- Ditto.
- What is it you two aren't telling me?

I'm quitting basketball.

MATT: I don't think so.
MARY: Oh, so you have a say in this?

That's enough. Lucy?

- She got a D on her history midterm.
- She's supposed to have you sign it.

And she's okay with it, because her
new bottom-feeder friends did worse.

Mary's quitting the team
because she's jealous

that Coach Koper is helping
the new girl instead of her.

MATT: What new girl?
ANNIE: Ruthie.

Go down and finish setting the table.

But I can't hear from down there.

Hey.

You guys want The Great Simoni
to pull a penny out of your ear?

MATT, MARY AND LUCY:
No!

Okay, okay, I'm flexible.

Simon, go wash your hands.

Dinner's ready.
We'll be down in a minute.

Somebody in trouble?

Go.

We have to talk.

[PHONE RINGING]

Hello?

Ruthie, is that you?

Yep, it's me. Is this Grandpa?

I mean, the Colonel.

Well, it sure is.

Well, how come you're on the horn?
Where is everybody?

Daddy's in his office
dancing the block out of his head.

RUTHIE:
He's gonna be on TV Sunday.

And Mommy's upstairs
yelling at Matt, Mary and Lucy.

Why? What's wrong?

Matt and Mary are fighting
because Mary's quitting basketball.

And Lucy got a D
in American History.

Well, what about the blond boy?
Simon.

- He thinks he's The Great Simoni.
- The what?

Simon wants to be a magician.

I hate magicians.

Well, how about you, little sweetheart?
What's your status?

I'm starving.
We haven't eaten dinner yet.

And I'm pretty sure
the roast is burning.

Why?

There's smoke coming out
of the oven.

Ruthie. Now, you hang up the phone
at once and go get your mother.

Right now, that's an order.

Yes, sir.

Ruth?
Pack my bags, I'm shipping out.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

Could someone get that?

[DOORBELL RINGS]

Son.

Now, your mother and I
are both fine,

and I know it's not time
for my annual visit,

but I'm here on a mission.

Dad, this is not a good time
for a mission.

- This really is not a good--
- Heard you're gonna be on television.

Yes, that's right.

Tomorrow's services
are gonna be televised,

which is part of the reason
this is not a good time for a mission.

Who told on me?

Private Ruthie.

I figured
with you locked up in your office

and Annie covering your back,
there'd be no one taking point.

And you know what happens
when there's no one on point.

The entire platoon goes to hell
in a handbasket.

Now, you get back in your office
and write something.

I'll take it from here.

Dad, wait. Look.

I love you. And I respect you.

And I appreciate
that you would just jump on a plane

and come out here to help us out.

But as much as I love
and respect you,

I get really nervous
whenever you are in church,

and tomorrow
is a really important day.

Well, I agree.

You just need a little extra pressure.
Get the adrenaline flowing.

I don't think so, Dad. Not this time.

Son, there are fish in the ocean

at a depth that would kill any other
living creature, including man.

Now, you take that same fish,
put him in a fishbowl.

It dies. Lack of pressure.

You're that fish
and I'm a little pressure.

- Actually, you're a lot of pressure.
- You're welcome.

Now, left face. March.

March.

SIMON:
That is not a magician's outfit.

That-- That's a Halloween costume.

Happy thinks it is.
She's going to be my assistant.

For the last time,
you're not gonna be the magician.

Says you.

[COLONEL CHUCKLES]

RUTHIE: Colonel.
- Hi, Ruthie.

- What are you doing here?
COLONEL: Well, never mind that.

Hey, what's with the black getup?

Reconnaissance?

I'm gonna be a magician.

But I need an assistant
and Ruthie won't do it.

I don't wanna be the assistant.
I wanna be a magician too.

SIMON: She wants to
be whatever I wanna be.

I mean, it's not her dream
to become a magician.

- But it is yours?
- Yes, sir.

Well, how about you?
Is it your dream too?

No. I just need to do it, that's all.

Need? Gee, I don't think so.

Ruthie, help your brother
realise his dream.

Now, I don't particularly like the idea
of my grandson becoming a magician.

As a matter of fact, I hate it.

But I'm pretty sure he won't give up
until he gives it a fair shake.

But I don't want to.

[CLEARS THROAT]

All right, all right.

Hey, you wanna see me
pull a penny out of Ruthie's ear?

Sure.

I never saw
a lousier magician in my life.

I saw that penny the whole time.

Now, I want you
to take Ruthie upstairs

and the two of you rehearse that trick
in front of the mirror

until it's so slick,
it's absolutely believable.

How many pennies
does Simon have to pull out of my ear?

Well, about as many as it takes
to send the two of you to Annapolis.

And you see all the toys
there in the living room?

Well, I want you to make them
disappear before my very eyes.

RUTHIE:
Where's Mom when you need her?

SIMON:
Out doing Dad's job.

Forget about this new girl.

Let Koper work with her.
I'll work with you.

I'm ten times better than Koper,
because I know you better.

I know where your weaknesses are.

- Colonel, what are you doing here?
COLONEL: Hey, Mary.

Well, I guess I'm working, huh?

So I hear you're quitting
the basketball team?

- How did you know about that?
- I'm a Marine.

There's nothing I don't know.

I hope you didn't come
just because you heard I was quitting.

Yeah, because if you did,
it wasn't necessary. I can handle this.

Well, now,
look who found his way to a barber.

Hey, Matt.
No, you're doing a fine job with this.

You should quit, Mary.

MARY: Really?
- Yeah, yeah.

- I wouldn't give it a second thought.
- Huh?

Did I hear something
about a new girl?

Yeah, she just transferred
and everybody thinks she's so great.

Balderdash.

She hasn't earned
the place on the team yet.

Anyway, who would wanna
be on a team that dropped you,

the star player who's been working
her behind off to get back to the top?

No, no. My granddaughter shouldn't be
second to anyone who hasn't earned it.

Well, I wasn't dropped. I'm quitting.

Darn right you are.
You'll find a new sport.

In the meantime,
I think your family needs you.

If you'd pick up those towels
and get to work.

Laundry basket's over on the table.

Oh, that laundry's clean,
just needs to be ironed.

What was that all about?

It's important to know when
to be helpful and how to be helpful.

When you don't know either one,
it's important to be harmless.

What?

- Lead, follow, or get out of the way.
- I am leading.

I'm trying to help my sister
and this is not what I had in mind.

Once Mary feels free
to hate this new girl, she'll get over it.

And she'll forget about quitting.
Now, how are you with an iron?

- An iron? I know how to iron.
COLONEL: Splendid.

You wanna help?
Get an iron and get to work.

That's the kind of help
this family could use right now.

I don't believe this.
I'm not doing any ironing.

Halt. About face.

Colonel.

What are you doing here?
I didn't know you were coming.

Well, I really only tell people things
on a need-to-know basis.

What's this I hear
about your failing American History?

I'm not failing history.
I just got a D on my midterm.

That's not why you came, is it?

Right, I don't need to know.

Why don't you grab a sponge
and hit the counters?

I've got some ironing to do,
and from the looks of it,

we'll have time to cover
the Revolutionary War up to Grenada.

COLONEL:
That should just about do it.

Now all we have to do is wait
for your mother to get home.

I had no idea you could do
all this domestic stuff, Colonel.

Dad can't.

That's because
he never had the pleasure

of serving his country
in the Marine Corps.

Now, young lady, would you care
to join me in the living room

for some hors d'oeuvre?

I'd love to.

Mom is gonna freak when she
comes home and sees what we did.

All right, now where were we?

Vietnam War.

Something about the United States
moving the war into Cambodia?

Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's right.

Well, that was a very unpopular move
with the public at that time.

But I think President Nixon
was a hero to do that.

See, the Vietcong
were storing supplies

just across the border in Cambodia.

In fact, so close to the border
that our boys could see them.

But they couldn't cross that line.

Really?

This is great.
I'd never learn this in school.

Lucy, you're a smart girl.
What's the D all about?

I don't know.

I just slipped one day
and I got a bad grade.

And the next thing I knew, I was kind
of popular with the laid-back crowd.

It was easier than worrying about
competing with the smart kids.

And I don't know.
Some guy seem to like me

who never paid any attention
to me at all before.

Yes, I see.

Lucy, I think you have to question
what kind of man

would like a woman who isn't,
you know, all that bright?

You know, one of the reasons

my marriage has lasted so long
and been so good

is because your grandmother
is one of the smartest people I know.

Smart is challenging. Smart is...

Well, let's just say I could never
be attracted to a woman who wasn't.

Just wouldn't last, Lucy.

You know, Colonel, it's been really nice
talking to you all day.

I used to think you didn't like me.

Well, as I recall,
this is the first time we've talked

where I've gotten to say anything.

Here we go.

[CHEERS]

You know, the Colonel was wrong
about quitting. It's reverse psychology.

Well, whatever, but I'm quitting
and I feel great about it.

How can you feel great about it?

Because it's just nice
to play for fun again

without any big goal in mind.

Colonel. I'm so happy to see you.

COLONEL:
Annie, Annie, Annie, likewise.

Aren't you gonna ask me
why I'm here?

I don't know how you found out,
but I know why you're here.

- You're here to help.
- Well.

You ironed the sheets?

Oh, well, the rest of the clothes are in
the appropriate closets and drawers.

I just left those out so I could
make up the couch for myself tonight.

No way.
Matt can sleep on the couch.

Oh, I can live with that.

You cooked dinner too.

Lucy and I did
over a little American history.

This is so wonderful. Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you, thank you.

That goes for me too.

I finished my sermon.

I knew you would.

Boy.

I've been dreading tomorrow
and now I...

I can't wait.

- And I owe it all to you.
- Oh.

And to you, Dad. Thanks.

Marines don't kiss, son.

MAN 1: I gotta get an exterior.
MAN 2: Yeah, just run a cable--

CHOIR [SINGING]:
He's got the whole world

In his hands

He's got the whole wide world
In his hands

He's got the whole world
In his hands

He's got the whole world
In his hands

He's got you and me, sister
In his hands

He's got you and me, brother
In his hands

He's got you and me, sister
In his hands

He's got the whole world
In his hands

He's got the little bitty baby
In his hands

He's got the little bitty baby
In his hands

He's got the little bitty baby
In his hands

He's got the whole world
In his hands

He's got everybody here
In his hands

He's got everybody here
In his hands

He's got everybody here
In his hands

He's got the whole world
In his hands

He's got the whole world
In his hands

He's got the whole wide world
In his hands

Smile.

CHOIR [SINGING]:
He's got the whole world

In his hands

He's got the whole world
In his hands

MARY [WHISPERING]:
I don't believe this. That's her.

The big basketball star.
I can't believe she had the nerve

to come to our church.

- Good morning.
CONGREGATION: Good morning.

I wanna welcome the parishioners
of Glenoak Community Church,

as well as those of you
who are joining us at home.

It's a pleasure to have you
as our guests this Sunday.

We also have another
very special visitor with us today.

A man who's flown all the way
from New York to be with us.

My father, Colonel John Camden.

In fact, it was my father
who inspired today's sermon.

Dad was a colonel
in the Marine Corps,

a decorated hero who fought
in World War II and Korea,

and he is indeed
one of the few good men.

It's taken me a lifetime to learn
that when my father speaks,

it's a good idea to listen.

Because I've found over
and over again, that when I've rebelled

against his wise counsel,

I just get myself in trouble.

- I'm one of the few lucky men.
- Watch this, look.

- Now you see it.
ERIC: I have a father who cared more

about doing right
than teaching the right thing.

- Now you don't.
ERIC: And about getting my approval,

RUTHIE: Now you see it.
ERIC: or even my affection.

Now you don't.

My father is fond of saying,
"Lead, follow, or get out of the way."

[SCREAMING]

WOMAN 1: Oh, my--
WOMAN 2: Oh, my goodness.

WOMAN 1:
Oh, my--

[INDISTINCT CHATTERING]

- What's wrong?
- It's stuck up her nose.

She sucked the mint up her nose.

ANNIE:
Stay calm.

- She got a mint up her nose.
ERIC: Okay.

You guys, stay here. Come on.

ANNIE: Ruthie, Ruthie, go.
ERIC: Come on.

MAN 1: What'd she--?
MAN 2: I don't know.

Dismissed.

Slowest-moving bunch I ever saw.

Okay, Mom got her
to blow it out of her nose.

We're going to the emergency room
just to make sure she's okay.

That's her, the new girl.

- Mary Camden, right?
MARY: Yeah.

DIANE:
I'm Diane Butler.

My mom and I were looking
for a church to go to

and Coach Koper
suggested this one.

- He did?
- He said your dad's the minister here.

Yeah, he's the guy
who just ran out of here.

- Welcome.
- Thanks.

It's not like this every Sunday.

Really? That's too bad.

This is the most interesting service
I've ever been to.

- I hope that little girl's okay.
MARY: That's my sister Ruthie.

I'm sure she's fine,
for a kid with a mint up her nose.

I was looking for you after tryouts.

I heard you were
working your way back from an injury.

Yeah, I got hit by a car and tore
all the tendons in my right knee.

I did the same thing.

Two years ago, I went skiing
for the first time and I fell. Hard.

- You're kidding.
DIANE: Nope.

It's bad, but don't worry, you'll be back.
I saw you play last year.

I was looking forward to playing ball
with you when I transferred.

Good people bring out
the best in you, you know?

Yeah.

Well, I'm hoping to be back at practise
in a week or two.

Yeah, that's what Coach Koper said.

He's great, isn't he?

He's the best.

Hey, Lucy. Great service.

Check it out, it's only 11:15.

That's the earliest
we've ever gotten out of church.

Yeah, this has never
happened before.

- Oh, I hope your sister's okay.
- Thanks.

Actually,
I'm more worried about Simon.

I think he's the one who gave
the idea to snort the mint.

- Hey, so I'll call you later?
- I can't.

I'm in big trouble over that midterm.

I'm not allowed to talk on the phone
until I pull my grades up.

I always knew you were a smart kid.
It was nice hanging out while it lasted.

Yeah.

Hey, you know,
maybe I could come over some time.

I don't know, Todd.

Well, no, you could help me.

I mean, I wouldn't mind
surprising the folks with a C.

I don't know if I could help you,
but maybe Matt could help us both.

I don't know. Getting help from Matt
might make me feel kind of dumb.

Actually, we'd be helping him
by letting him help us.

His ego suffered
a huge blow this weekend.

Oh, well, in that case,
maybe I could.

Sorry about that.

The mint thing.

And I'm also sorry I didn't listen
to your advice about helping people.

I guess my parents were
pretty overwhelmed this weekend.

It's okay.
I can't fix everyone in one visit.

I hate magicians.

Me too.

Okay.

Should we go to the hospital?

I've got a better plan.

What do you think
Ruthie would rather have

than anything when she gets home?

Ice cream. Holy Cannoli.

There you have it.
Matt, the mission is ice cream.

So what happens
the rest of the day?

I was hoping Matt would wanna shoot
hoops with me when we get home.

Oh, so you're not quitting the team?

Don't gloat, sir.

It was burning and burning
and I couldn't breathe.

Then Mom told me to blow.
So I did and it finally came out.

But it still burned a little.

Honey, I just don't understand why
you put it up there in the first place.

I was tired of being the assistant.

I wanna do my own magic trick
like Simon.

Honey, you can't always do
what Simon does.

Sometimes it's somebody else's turn
to be in the spotlight.

Sometimes it's nice
to make another person feel

that they're important and special.

You can't always be
the centre of attention.

[HUMMING]

I know it's hard for you to hear this,

but you can't always have
what you want.

I don't want to do magic,
I need to do it.

And you will have your own magic,
you'll see.

Right now,
Mommy needs to take a little break,

so I'm gonna wait for you
right outside the door, okay?

DOCTOR: I think you
have something in your ear.

How did you do that?

I'll tell you, but you have to promise
not to tell a soul.

WOMAN [OVER P.A.]: Paging Dr.
Chris Olsen to the conference room.

Paging Dr. Chris Olsen
to the family conference room.

Ruthie's fine.
They'll be out in a minute.

Oh, thank you.

Hey, that's great.

You know, I bet if she wasn't fine,
I'd be in real trouble, huh?

Not that I'm not in real trouble now.
I didn't know she was gonna do it.

I swear.

It's not like there's a warning label
on the sleight-of-hand manual.

Relax, Simon, I know
you didn't mean for this to happen.

I'm really sorry I ruined
your church services, Dad.

It's okay.

I'm just glad
Ruthie wasn't seriously hurt.

So I'm forgiven?

Yeah, son, you're off the hook.

How come?

I don't know.

I heard Ruthie scream
and it scared me so badly

I lost my mind
and my will to discipline you.

Look, in case it may have
appeared otherwise...

My family is more important to me
than my work.

This week, I kind of forgot that
you all have your own work.

Just growing up is hard work.

And I need to be there for you
every day.

Thanks, Dad.

You know,
I feel the same way about Ruthie,

so I'm gonna help her
become a magician.

Or you could just help me give it up.

- I'm sorry. I'm really sorry.
- That's okay.

I've decided to give up magic.

Dad made you, huh?

I owe you an apology.

I'm sorry for throwing everything off
on you this week.

You know, I should know by now that
there's a limit to how much I can do.

Next time, I'll make sure
I get the kids to help out.

I'm just sorry that your moment
of glory was short-circuited.

I'm not sure being on TV
would make me a better minister.

Yeah, we all learned
a little something this week.

RUTHIE:
I sure did.

- What's that?
- What?

Hey.

That's what you learned
from all this?

No. I learned sometimes
if you really need help bad enough,

life just gives it to you.