7th Heaven (1996–2007): Season 11, Episode 2 - Tonight's Specials Are... - full transcript

Reverend Eric Camden feels old after the twins' young teacher mistakes him for their grandfather and being unable to keep up physically with wife Annie's sexual appetite. Martin gets in trouble with Sandy when she overhears him in the baby-phone thanking Kevin for the -mis-understood- advice to seduce her by cooking for her. Lucy worries what it means about his sexual appetite now Kevin has stopped cooking elaborate dinners after talking to lonely young teenager movie theater tickets clerk T-bone, who considers her highly desirable. Kevin selflessly worries about all of them.

- Hi, Mom.
- Hi, Mom.

Hi, guys.

We call you that
because you're our mom.

Right. That's not funny.

Why don't you guys go upstairs
and start your homework.

SAM: Sorry.
We don't have any homework.

Can we have a brownie?

Oh, sure,
but just take one, okay?

- Uh, what's not funny?
- It's not funny

that you're married
to our grandpa.


Their teacher--
what is she, 12?--

uh, mistook me
for their grandfather.


That's funny.

In a ridiculous sort of way.

I bet nobody ever asked you
if you're their grandmother.

No, nobody's ever asked me

if-if I were their grandmother,
but it could happen.

You know, really,
when you think of it,

we're both old enough
to be their grandparents.


Mm, thanks. I'll wait.

Have you met the teacher?

Yeah, I have.

She-She does look about 12--
very, very young.

Oh, I think she's only been
teaching, what, three years.

Yeah, so you met her,
and she met you.

So she must think
I'm what, your father?

I guess.

Now you see
how ridiculous it is.

And-And-And that's why
it's funny.


But, I mean, I don't
look older than...

We look like we're...

Do I look that old?

No, of course you don't.

She probably doesn't
even remember

what I look like, anyway.

Oh, I don't know, but...

- Maybe I do look older than you.
- No, honey, you don't.

We-We definitely
look the same age.

We look like two people who have
been married for a long time--

- practically become one person.
- Yeah.

Hey, you want to go upstairs?

- Upstairs? Why?
- And be one person.

I'm not following you.

You know.

I'm following you.


Why not?

How is it that you have so much
energy at this time of day?

Are you kidding?
I'm practically a free woman.

You're practically
a free man.

We only have two kids
left in the house.

It's a piece of cake.

Yeah, you're right, but those
two are not going to be easy.

Oh, I know, but nothing's easy.

But our-our lives have become
much, much easier, so...

(clicks tongue)

Can we walk Happy over
to see Samson and Delilah?

DAVID: Kevin told us we could
come over this afternoon.


See ya.

See ya.

(Eric and Annie chuckle)


Come on, I'll show you
who's Grandpa.


♪ 7th Heaven ♪

♪ When I see
their happy faces ♪

♪ Smiling back at me ♪

♪ 7th Heaven ♪

♪ I know there's
no greater feeling ♪

♪ Than the love of family ♪

♪ Where can you go ♪

♪ When the world
don't treat you right? ♪

♪ The answer is home ♪

♪ That's the one place
that you'll find ♪

♪ 7th Heaven ♪

♪ Mmm, 7th Heaven ♪

♪ 7th Heaven. ♪


(humming "When the Saints
Go Marching In")

(microwave buttons beep)

(microwave beeps)

(scatting tune enthusiastically)

Eric, dinner's ready!


Hi, sweetheart.

Just call me Grandpa.

(both laughing)

I don't think so.

(both laughing)

(door opening)

Kevin wants to know if
he can come over for dinner.

Of course; he knows
he doesn't have to ask.

Why don't you call him.

Hey, got room for Savannah, too?

Yes, and Lucy.
Where is Lucy?

What happened to you?

Oh, n-nothing, really.

Oh, I beg to disagree.

Are you okay?

Yes, thank you, I'm fine.

You know, I made roast beef hash

for dinner tonight,
from leftovers.

Can you believe
we have leftovers?

I just love my new life.


Lucy's out for dinner again?

She was out last night
and the night before and...

And the night before that.

I guess she's still
working her way

through the congregation
with door-to-door apologies.

And the week before that, Kevin?

Are you sure you're...?

I'm fine.

Lucy's going around
apologizing to the congregation?

She didn't say anything
about that to me.

Maybe she's too embarrassed
to tell you.

Yeah, probably so.

Lucy didn't say
anything to you about

going around
apologizing to people?

Well, maybe she did tell you
and you just forgot.

Yeah, Grandpa.

Maybe you just forgot.

Um, I-I thought you were
changing the movie today.

Isn't today the day
that you change movies?

I-I was counting on you
changing the movie today,

'cause I've already
seen this one, and, you know--

By the way,
it's already out on DVD.

Well, it was actually
already out on DVD

last week when you saw it.

And last night
and then the night before,

going all the way
back to last week.

And then the one before that.

Well, that one was
also out on DVD.

And the one before that.

And so forth.

And your point being...?

Well, my point being that
watching a DVD at home

is not the same
as experiencing it

at a historical venue
such as this.

So feel free to watch any movie
as many times as you like.

And hey, this week's
is a comedy.

I say this with
the utmost respect, but, uh,

I think we all know
you need to laugh.

Laughter is good
for whatever ails you.

You know,
big ails or small ails.

Oh, yeah? Well, you know,
that makes me laugh

for you to tell me
that I need to laugh.

What makes you think
that I need to laugh?

- Well, you're here a lot.
- Yes.

I am. And I wish

someone could change
the movies more often.

I heard about last Sunday.

I heard about last Sunday.

You heard what
about last Sunday?

I heard, okay?

Everyone heard.

It's kind of all over Glenoak,
but everyone is

totally sympathetic,
so don't worry

what people are thinking
about you.

Well, I mean,
you never should really

worry what people
are thinking about you.

And by the way, if you ask me,
your husband-- not that hot.

Well, not as hot as you, anyway.

How old are you?

Oh, don't panic.

I'm over 18.

Okay. Yeah, not old enough
to talk to me like that.

Like man to woman?

Yeah, I am.

Yeah, okay. One adult.

Hurry up, and-and don't say
another word to me.

If you want to grab a pizza
when you get out, let me know.

(knock at door)

This isn't your apartment.

You could wait for me
to open the door.

Okay, well, then
you'd have to get up

from whatever it is
you're doing to answer the door,

so I figured
I'd save you the trouble.

You have dinner already?

No. I'm studying.

Or trying to.

I'm just going to make
some scrambled eggs

or something later.

Okay, so, study,

and I'll make you something
to eat.

That's what I came over for

You drove all the way over here
to make me dinner?

Yeah. After four hours
of classes,

two hours at the library,
and three hours of practice,

drove all the way over here
to make you dinner,

and to see you and to talk
to you and to take care of you,

if you need anything--
you or my son.


But only if it doesn't imply
some sort of commitment.

No. No commitment.

We're just two people
who had sex one time

and now have a child together.

No commitment.

I don't know what to do.

I've tried talking,
I've tried not talking.

I've tried stepping back
and letting her have her space.

I tried that stupid
cuddling thing.

I mean, best I could.

She's really not willing
to be physically close to me

right now,
if you know what I mean.

She may have implied to everyone
at the church

that I'm irresistible,
but believe me, she can resist.

She doesn't even have to resist.

She has, like, this mental
resistance that's so strong,

I don't even go near her.

Dad, you asleep?


I know you're not sleeping.

You look like you need to sleep,
but you're not asleep.

Well, what does that mean?

It means you look like you're
kind of tired or something.

I am tired.

I've had a very tiring day.

You came home when the boys
came home from school.


How can you be tired?

Let me put it this way.

I'm having the opposite problem
with my wife

that you're having
with your wife.


I didn't realize
you were having problems.

We're not having problems;
we're not having any problems.

We're not even having
the littlest, tiniest problem.

Like, no resistance.


My wife's newfound sense
of freedom is

making her unusually...

I don't think I should know
about that.

Well, then don't ask
so many questions.

Believe me, I wouldn't have

if I'd known I was going
to find that out. Geez, Dad.

Well, don't "geez" me.

You're sitting over there
going on and on

about you and Lucy.

But we're not doing anything.

(chuckling): Well, we're doing,
like, everything.

I should be going.



Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.


Oh, if that's for Savannah,

I better be getting her home;
it's almost her bedtime.

What time are you
expecting Lucy?

I don't know.

I learned not to ask those
questions over the summer.

She's free to come
and go as she pleases.

It's a control thing.

I know it's a control thing,

so I make no attempt to
appear that I'm trying

to control anything
other than myself.

Wow. You're a good husband,

This has been so difficult
for you, too.

It's just that we reacted
to what happened

in completely different ways.

I need to be closer to Lucy,

she needs to not
be closer to me.

After last Sunday, I thought
things would be better,

but they're not.

In fact,
they're not better at all.

It's all going to be fine,
everything's going to be fine.

You just go home to Lucy,

hang out with her,
be with her, talk to her,

tell her how much
you care about her.

No offense, Mom, but I don't
think everything will be fine.

Think it may even get worse.

Kevin, I'm sure that Lucy
screaming at people in church

and publicly blaming her whole
family for her personal tragedy

is her rock bottom.

That's as bad
as it's going to get.

So if you can just
hang in there

and keep doing what you're
doing, or not doing,

she'll come around.


Um, a little.

I was hoping you would be.

Would you care to share a pizza?

Oh, I can't.

I really have to get home.

Oh, come on, it's just a pizza.

Plus, I'm sure the rest of
your family has already eaten.

I mean, don't you get tired
of being with them, anyway?

No! They're my family.

Exactly. You can't talk to
your family about your family.

I mean, that's how you ended up
losing it in church.

You need a friend to talk to.

All right, maybe I need
a friend to talk to.

Okay. Maybe just a slice.

I mean, if you really
need a friend to talk to.

Oh, yeah, totally.

Can I get you anything else?

No, that was really good.


Chicken piccata.

Yeah, it was pretty good, huh?

I forgot how much
I like to cook.

You never liked to cook
before tonight.

No, no, I do like to cook.

I was just always
afraid of messing up.

I don't want to make
a mistake in front of you.

But I guess I'm getting
my confidence back.



I mean, I'm starting to feel
more comfortable around you,

and I hope you're starting to
feel the same way around me.

Yeah, I guess I am.

But that doesn't mean

that anything has changed
between us.

No. No, no, of course not.


Well, then I guess

I'm starting to feel more
comfortable around you, too.


Well, um, you go back
to studying and I guess

I'll just clean up.

Thanks, Martin.

No problem. Anytime.

I am a very emotional person,

and sometimes I do things
based on my strong emotions.

You know, without thinking.

Like that thing that happened
at church last Sunday.


I told Kevin that I was out
making house calls,

that I was going house-to-house
to apologize to everyone

in the congregation.

Yeah, right.

'Cause I'm sorry for what?

For being emotional?

You know, I-I think they should
all just get over it.

You know, life is emotional.

At least for me, anyway.


You know, I don't trust people
who don't have emotions.

No, no, you know what?

I don't like people
who don't show their emotions.


Of course you can always

choose how you want to feel,
but-but then you have to think

about how you want to feel
first, and...

I'm not sure
how I want to feel.

I mean, if I choose to feel the
same way that I used to about,

you know... things, you know,
then what would happen?

Yeah. I don't know either.

Eric, honey, don't you want
to come up to bed?

- You'll sleep better...
- (moans)

(mumbling): No, it's okay;
I'll just sleep here.

Oh, you don't want to sleep
on the couch.

Yeah, I do;
I want to sleep on the couch.

No, no, don't you want to come
upstairs and sleep with me?

Mmm. No.


(grunts softly)


You don't want to sleep with me?


What is that?

I just, I just meant that I,

I didn't want to get up and walk
all the way upstairs,

and so I just, you know,
thought I'd sleep here.

That's all.

Since I was asleep here,
for the most part.

Oh, well,

that's the last time
the two of us

will take a "nap"
in the afternoon,

if it means that you're going
to sleep here

on the couch all night.

It was your idea to...

Yes, it was, and you know what?

Lately, it's always my idea.

Thank you very much.

No, I'm not going to chance it.

Good. Don't. Good night!

I'm just very tired.

(phone ringing)


No, no, it's-it's me,
it's Martin.

- I-I just called to thank you.
- For?

For the advice-- you were
totally right about everything.

I mean, taking an interest
in that stuff Sandy's studying

and taking care of her,
cooking for her.

The chicken piccata
worked great.

By "worked," you mean what?

Okay, I drove all the way over
to Sandy's tonight

to cook dinner for her and...

I think she might let me
get closer to her.

I hope you don't mean
what I think you mean.

Why not? You're the one
that gave me the advice.

That was relationship advice.

No, it wasn't. If I had
wanted relationship advice,

I would've gone
to one of the Camdens.

You think I told you
to take an interest

in what Sandy's studying and
to try taking better care of her

and your son and to try cooking
them a meal sometime

just so you could
sleep with her?

Uh, yeah.

Uh, no.

Well, it worked.

She loved the chicken piccata.

You think she loved
the chicken piccata so much

that she would actually
sleep with you?

- I do.
- Are you insane?!

No, I'm not insane.

I mean, obviously there's a
direct correlation between food

and women; otherwise,
they wouldn't sell condoms

in the grocery store.

Hey, do you know
how baby monitors work?

Are they two-way
or just one-way?


I have to go.


Hello, Sandy?


It's just that, you know,

we've been together before,
so really,

when you think about it,

if we could get together again,
you might feel differently

about getting married.

I'll just go now.

You know, at work,
I have to compete with my dad,

and at home, I have to compete
with Kevin,

because Kevin's, like,
the world's greatest dad

and the world's
greatest husband,

and, you know, it's really hard,

because-because I want to be
the world's greatest mother

and the world's greatest wife
and the world's greatest,

you know, associate pastor,
but I can't be

all of those things to-to all
of those people right now.

Right now, I have to just
be there for me.

And Savannah-- you know,
I have to be there for Savannah.

I... and I love being
with Savannah.

Unfortunately, I can't
keep on making up excuses

to take her out
with me at night.

- Yeah.
- And you should see

the meals Kevin makes.

I mean,
he's like a professional chef.

Sometimes I come home, and-and
he's made chicken piccata

and pork étouffée
and beef Bourguignonne,

so now I have to keep
coming up with reasons

to get out of the house.

You know, and obviously
I-I can't keep doing this.

Well, it sounds like rejection
on multiple levels.


Well, the poor guy

is desperately trying
to seduce you,

and you want no part of it.

And he's just not getting
the message.

Been there.

My husband is trying
to seduce me?

Well, there's got to be a reason
he's cooking for you like that.

We-we have to eat.

Not chicken piccata.

Not pork étouffée,
and not beef Bourguignonne.

I may only be 18,

but I know what cooking can do
to a woman.

And I can only make
a grilled cheese sandwich.

So if he hasn't been cooking
for me...

well, if he hasn't been cooking
for me at all lately...

May not be a good sign.

He may be losing interest.

And, uh, if that is the case,

I'd be happy to make a
grilled cheese sandwich for you

anytime, day or night.


Well, I enjoyed listening to you
talk about your family,

but I-I have to say
that if I were your husband,

I would not be
so easily discouraged.

Grilled cheese sandwiches

till the cows come home,

That's what I wanted
to talk to you about.

If, for any reason,
you ever feel that you want more

out of life than the so-called
perfect husband,

well, you know where to find me.

And if you're not interested,

I hope you this little
brief encounter

doesn't interfere with your
future moviegoing experiences.

- Encounter?
- Encounter.

I'd gladly be your Ashton
if you'd be my Demi.

Okay. All right.
Good night, T Bone.

And-and you know what?

I'm only seven years older
than you.

(cell phone rings)


I know it's late,
and I know that you have a lot

that you're dealing with
right now,

but just so you know,

maybe you should be talking
to Martin and not Kevin.

I think Martin
is really confused,

and Kevin is the one
who confused him.

How so?

He told Martin
that if he cooked for me,

then maybe I'd sleep with him

or something crazy like that.

So it's true?

(door opens and closes)

The apologies ran
a little late tonight, huh?

I lied.

I didn't apologize to anyone.

I don't feel like apologizing.

Why did you stop cooking for me?

You haven't been home to eat.

But all the same,
you stopped cooking.

Again, you haven't
been home to eat.

If you were home, I'd cook.

I'd gladly cook for you.

But the fact is, you haven't.

All right, I haven't.

And it's not because
I wasn't home to eat.

Yes, it was,
and I just got tired

of eating by myself
or just with Savannah.

You're not attracted
to me anymore.

- What?
- You stopped cooking for me

because you don't want
to sleep with me anymore.

Have you been talking to Martin?

No, but I did
get a call from Sandy.

I never told him

he should cook for Sandy just
so he could sleep with Sandy.

Martin called and asked me
for some advice,

and somehow he got the cooking
and sex all tied in together.

Maybe because they
are tied together.

You know, and frankly,
I don't really care

to deal with...
with Sandy and Martin

and whatever problems
they may have,

even if you are the one
that caused them.

I just told him to take care

of her and his son, and maybe
she would like him better.

Did you give him any
of your fancy-schmancy recipes?

Huh? Did you?

I might have.

So what?

Cooking a good meal is
a nice thing to do for someone--

your wife, your family,
your friends--

but it has nothing
to do with sex.

Yes, it does,
and you know it does.

Everyone... everyone knows

that a woman does not cook
for her husband

unless she's trying to get him
to sleep with her.

And Kevin Kinkirk,

everyone knows that a husband

does not cook for his wife

unless he is trying to get her
to sleep with him.

And you stopped cooking for me

because you don't want
to sleep with me!

Look, crazy woman, I love you.

I'll cook for you
anytime you want me to.

I think it's a little too late
for that.

You don't think I feel
bad enough without feeling

completely unattractive
and unappealing right now?

Luce, hold on.

Just one question.

I just want to ask you
one question.

Where were you tonight?

You weren't out apologizing
to the congregation,

so where were you?

I was at the Promenade.
I went to the movies.

That's where you go every night,
to the movies?

Yes, that's where I go
every night.

- You have a problem with that?
- Yes.

As a matter of fact,
I do have a problem with that.

You're at the movies because you

don't want to have dinner
with me,

because you don't want me
to cook for you,

because you really don't want
to have anything to do with me.

You're the one
who's not interested.

And you stood there
and told the entire church

that I was hot.


Lucy, you're not going to
the movies with anyone, are you?

Are you sharing meals
with another man?

I wonder why he
isn't sleeping in his bed.

I don't know.

You don't think he had a fight
with Mom, do you?


I don't know--
they seemed happy at dinner.

You don't think he's angry
at us, do you?

Why would he be angry at us?

Maybe he found out.

Found out what?

That we told our teacher
he's our grandpa.

(normal voice):
I didn't tell him.

(normal voice):
Well, I didn't tell him.

So I guess he doesn't know.


Lucy and I had a fight.

So did Annie and I.

And you're happy about that?

Well, we made up this morning.

Well, we didn't.

Well, Kev,

eventually everything
will be fine.

So everyone keeps saying.

Why are you wearing that?

Why am I wearing what?

Stuff I've never
seen you wear before.

What are you talking about?

You're wearing a Ramones

Yes, I am.

You're not going to work today?

Yeah, right after I take
the boys to school.

School. I see.

You see what?

Nothing, but eventually
I'll figure it out.

So you're here because...?


Lucy's seeing someone.

A psychiatrist?

A guy.

A guy psychiatrist?

A guy who works at the
movie theater at the Promenade.

Oh, God, of course.

She's going to the movies
every night.

Come on, Kev.

Lucy's seeing a guy
who works at the movie theater?

He's 18.
He's the ticket seller.

She had pizza with him.

Hey, guys.

Hi, Kevin.

- I can drop them off
if you want. -No, it's okay.

- I'll-I'll drop them off.
- It's on the way. I don't mind.

No, no, I'll take the boys
to school.

Our teacher thinks
he's our grandpa.

Is that right?

Well, Annie and I are old enough
to be their grandparents.

Okay. I get the look now.

SAM: Want us to wait
in the backyard?

Yeah. I'll be right out.

Has Annie seen you this morning?

I mean, like this?

No, Annie went back to bed.


And she's tired.

And I have to take
the boys to school.

This is like the religious
Twilight Zone.

Lucy has a new boyfriend.

You're taking your sons
to school to flirt

with their teacher right after
you made up with your wife.

What kind of family
have I gotten myself into?

We're like the Cleavers...

except we're religious,
and we like to fool around.

I'll see you later.

Try not to embarrass yourself

over Lucy's
18-year-old boyfriend.

I-I'm pretty sure Lucy
wouldn't cheat on you.

Yeah. Yeah.

(door closes)

I think Martin was just
trying to be nice.

He just misinterpreted
what Kevin was saying to him.

You know, cooking
can be different things

to different people.

At least, according to Kevin.

Lucy, Martin was being nice
for a reason

that wasn't very nice.

He was trying to seduce me.

Well, just try to appreciate
that for what it was.

He's in love with me.

He wants to marry me.

And I don't want to marry him.


Careful what you wish for.

Is that why you're upset
with me?

You think I should like Martin?

That I should love him,
I should marry him?

No. I... I didn't say that.

You haven't really
said anything.

And I get the feeling
that you're upset with me.

Are you upset with me?

I didn't say that.

Just say it.

I don't want to say it.

I-I don't want to be upset
with you.

I don't feel like
being upset with you.

I just... I just don't want you
to blame my husband

if you end up making
any mistakes with Martin.



Well, I'm not going
to make any mistakes again.

Thanks for calling me.

I know you're really busy,

and I appreciate the time
that you took for me.

- Bye, Lucy.
- Uh...




I wasn't saying
that Aaron was a mistake.

That's okay. I know you
weren't saying that.

I was just saying...

well... (sighs)

I was saying
that sometimes it's...

it's hard to understand why...

why, uh, some people who don't
want to have children have them,

and people who want to have them

don't have them.

Yet there is no reason why.

There's just what is.


I'll call you,
and we'll get together soon

and catch up, okay?


I miss talking to you.

Really, I understand
why you haven't been around.

I should have been able
to figure it out.

I thought you didn't want me
joining the ministry.

I'll call you soon.



Thanks, Lucy.

- Bye.
- Bye.

I know it's 9:00,
but you should eat something

before you go to the movies
or wherever you're going today.

Actually, I was making
something for you,

if you ever came back.

Not that I would blame you
if you didn't.

So, here.

I've been thinking, you know,

you don't always have to be
the one to do all the cooking,



Oh. Biscuits?

I love biscuits.

No. They're potato pancakes.

From frozen potato pancakes.

I love those, too.


I hope this doesn't
make you think

that I don't want you
as much as you want me.

No, I was just thinking

maybe I should do most
of the cooking.

Thank you.

And maybe you can

cook me dinner tonight,
if you want?


I have plans tonight.

I thought I'd drop by
the Promenade

to say hello to T Bone.



I'll talk to him.

I mean, he's just a kid--
a... a lonely kid.

Just the same,
I think I'll talk to him.


Mmm! Mmm.

Hi. How are you?

David and Sam
forgot their lunches.

Why, Grandpa Camden,
you are a Ramones fan.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

- Used to be.
- (chuckles)

Yeah, shame about Johnny.

And Joey.

And Dee Dee.

Mmm. My dad was
a Ramones fan, too.

I'm not really their grandpa.

They're my sons.

Sam and David. Yeah.

My wife and I had them after
having five other children.

- Wow.
- Yeah.

- The seven children
are all yours? -Yeah.

I thought it was probably
a blended family.


Seven children. That...


That's great.


No, I want a big family myself.

I was an only child.

Only child.

Yeah, yeah, well,
people used to think

that was difficult
for the child, but--

well, you...
uh, you probably know this--

research is showing that...

that only children
actually fare quite well.

I'll take that as a compliment.

You know, I only thought

you were Grandpa Camden

because Sam and David
said you were their grandpa.

I think those two

were playing
a little trick on me.

'Cause I said
you're a good-looking man.

Well, what they said
was you're a preacher,

and I said you were
way too good-looking for that.


Think I'm going to have
to change churches.

So Sam and David told you
I'm their grandfather.

I see. Well...

they do have a funny
sense of humor,

those two.

Uh... here.

Nice talking to you.

- BOTH: Hi, Mom.
- Oh, hi.

No snack?

Did you go to work like that?

I did.

But, uh, I-I limited myself

to phone calls and, uh...

and visits
with the visually-impaired.

Oh. (chuckles)

Did you dress like that
just to take the boys to school?

I did.


Uh, was the teacher impressed?

She sure was.

You know, you don't want
to fool around with the teacher.

The boys still have many years
of schooling.

Don't mess
with the educational system.

I won't mess with it
if it doesn't mess with me.

Seriously, Ms. Margo

was flirting with me.

- Okay.
- She was.

Well, I believe you.
You're a good-looking guy.

That's what she said.

She told Sam and David
she thinks I'm good-looking,

and they told her
that I'm their grandpa.

Why would they do that?

Obviously, to protect you.

They want their teacher to think
that I'm too old for her.

Well, you are too old for her.

Despite the Ramones T-shirt

and the baseball cap
and the jeans and the sneakers.

And you... you're married.

Oh, yeah.
I don't think she cares.


Are you... are you just trying
to make me jealous?


But I'm telling you the truth.

Oh, well,
you are making me jealous.

Extremely jealous.
You want to go upstairs?

I have a weak heart.

- You know?
- Oh, yeah.

Well, remember that
if the teacher calls.

Oh, Mary called.

Um, I forgot to tell you.

Two weeks?

I mean, you're going to New York

- for two weeks?
- I have to go.

Mary's filling in for the coach,
and, uh, she's a new mom,

and she really needs the help,

and I want to see
the new babies.

- So do I.
- Well, you can go

the next time she needs help.


You and the boys
can be bachelors

for a couple of weeks--
it'll be fun.


I love you.

I know.

Is Kevin coming over
for dinner again?

No, just Lucy.

I've been expecting you.

How do you even know who I am?

'Cause I'm interested
in your wife.

No, you're not.

No, seriously, I am.

But not in a stalker
sort of way, so I hope you

don't feel any need to resort

to any police action
of any kind.

Hey, I know the rules.

The rules of trying
to seduce another man's wife?

Yeah. Like, uh,
don't call her at home,

don't send her any flowers.

Just, you know,
don't do anything stupid.

I don't know, "seduce"

is kind of a strong word.

I don't think
I'd call it seduction.

I just want
to get to know her.

Maybe it'll work out; maybe not.
I don't know.

I know.
It wouldn't work out.

No offense, but, uh, don't you
think that's kind of up to Lucy?

Look, pal,
I could have you arrested.

No, you couldn't.

I could try.

I haven't done anything illegal.

I'm betting you have.

- Let me see your license.
- For what?

You look more like 15 to me.

It's fake.

Okay. Maybe Lucy and I
could just be friends.

I don't think so.

All right, maybe you and I
could just be friends.

What makes you think that?

Well, I could always use
another friend to talk to,

and I would imagine you're very
limited in who you can talk to,

seeing as everyone in Glenoak
is either related to you

or goes to your family's church.

What do you got back there?

Is that
a George Foreman grill?

Yeah, I was going to make
a cheese sandwich

- if Lucy came around, but...
- But she's not.

What kind of cheese you got?

Longhorn cheddar.

Yeah, okay.

Maybe just one.

All right.

I'm 15,
but I'm really 18 at heart.

Just make the sandwich.

Hi, Dad.

- Can you say, "Hi, Grandpa"?
- (gurgles gibberish)

Hi, girls. Come on in.

Dinner will be ready
in five minutes.


Your mom just went up to, uh,

get Sam and David cleaned up.

They were out scrubbing
the picnic table.

Kind of a work program
for fibbers.

Uh, grab the bread there
off the counter, will you?

I really have missed eating
with everyone.

Have you?

Yeah, I have.

Too bad Kevin
couldn't be with us tonight.

Hey, maybe tomorrow night.

Tomorrow night,
we're having dinner at home,

just the three of us.

But I wanted
to come over and see you

and Mom and Sam and David.

I thought I should say something

about what happened last Sunday.

Oh, that was last Sunday.

There'll be another Sunday
coming along

and another and another.

You don't have to explain
anything to us.

We're your family.

Mm-hmm. Okay, well, I'm...

I'm sure you've noticed
that I've been avoiding you

at the office, you know,
when I go to the office.

Yeah, I kind of noticed.

Uh, only because...

I miss you.
I miss working with you.

Just let me say what
I should have said days ago.

I'm sorry
about last Sunday, Dad.

You know, I guess
I wasn't quite ready

to get back up in front
of the church.

You know, some days
are better than others--

last Sunday being one
of the others.

Anyone say anything about it?

A few people, but...

Hmm. I figured.

You know...

I thought I was okay,
but I just... I can't seem...

To get over it?

Yeah, well, don't expect that.

Don't expect... to get over it.

There's really no getting over

a loss like that.

There's just getting through it
and-and moving on,

and in time,
having it take its place

in the story of your life.

And that, you know, may take
a lifetime, but that's okay.

As long as you keep moving on,
it's okay.

That's nice.

That... that helps.


If you feel like talking

to me, kiddo, you let me know.

'Cause I... I, um...

I haven't wanted to intrude,

but I'm here, you know. I...

I'll always be here for you.

You can talk to me
about anything anytime.

Yeah, you and my friend
at the movie theater.


Yeah, heard about that.


Yeah, I can't believe

I hung out all night long

with a teenager
who has a crush on me.

And I really can't believe

that he actually
made me feel better.

You never know where help
is going to come from.

The boys' teacher thinks
that I'm handsome.

Oh. That explains it.

(Lucy chuckles)