7th Heaven (1996–2007): Season 11, Episode 13 - Script Number Two Hundred Thirty-Four - full transcript

While Eric and Lucy sneak off fishing, pretending it's for a 'church stuff' seminar, Kevin must give advice -which he does in scary terms- to poor T-Bone, whose snooty girlfriend Ruthie (ab)uses him to cause jealousy with her sort-of-ex Mac, who gets himself invited to stay at the Camdens after moving back in town only to find his reuniting parents' condo has only one bedroom, and his best friend -and other semi-ex- Martin, who gets bitched at by his baby son Aaron's unmarried mother Sandy after Mac arranged for them to to double-date with T-Bone, Margaret and Jane...

(TV playing quietly)

...a 12-gauge shotgun

in a crowded
downtown restaurant.

14 people are dead,
including three children.

Four others suffered serious...

It's 10:00 in the morning.

It's too early for that.

I didn't realize
there was a schedule.

Well, there is.

Well, isn't it too early for
world news and death reports?


I don't know. I mean...

I see someone die,
I want to live.

You can live later.

Does that mean
you're coming down

to the Promenade
to the movie?

T Bone, I told you.

I'm not going to go see
some stupid cartoon.

They're calling it the animated
love story of the year.

It's a cartoon.


Oh, Mac, I didn't see you.

The boys let me in.

I came in through the kitchen.

Because that's the way I always
come into the house.

Aren't you...?

Didn't we go to high school
together? I'm Mac.

T Bone.

And, uh, yes, we did.

T Bone lives here.

Lucky T Bone.

Seems I got a whole lot luckier
when you walked in the room.

So what are you doing here?

I'm meeting Martin.

He's babysitting while Sandy's
doing stuff at the church.


Yeah, I transferred back
to school here,

because my parents
got back together.

- Oh, great.
- Yeah, thought so.

Till I found out my parents
got a one-bedroom condo.

Which kind of leaves me...

You can't stay here.

Yes, he can.

I can?

I don't see why not.

Well, thanks, Ruthie.

It was nice meeting you.

You two remind me of my parents.

What was that?

What do you mean?

I mean, five minutes ago,

you didn't want to make out.

Well, maybe I'm tired
of just making out.

Maybe I want to do more
than just make out.

And by "more than
make out," you mean...?

You know what I mean.


I think that's kind of personal.

Yes, I have.

And you've?

I lived in Europe
for six months.

I had a boyfriend.

I was 6,000 miles
away from home.

What do you think?

I think, um...

if that's what you want,
then, uh...

Is anyone else home?

Yeah, my mom just went
to go get some groceries,

but she should be back
in a few minutes.

You could wait in here
with us, if you'd like.


Uh... no, thanks.

I'll-I'll just be, uh...
in the kitchen.

Just wanted to make sure...

All right, I'll just be
in the other room.

Right in there.

So tonight?


Why not?

♪ 7th Heaven ♪

♪ When I see
their happy faces ♪

♪ Smiling back at me ♪

♪ 7th Heaven ♪

♪ I know there's
no greater feeling ♪

♪ Than the love of family ♪

♪ Where can you go ♪

♪ When the world
don't treat you right? ♪

♪ The answer is home ♪

♪ That's the one place
that you'll find ♪

♪ 7th Heaven ♪

♪ Mmm, 7th Heaven ♪

♪ 7th Heaven. ♪



(reel clicking)

(car approaching)


I'm so sorry.

There was terrible traffic;
a wreck on the freeway.

I tried to call you.

Oh, I must have turned
my phone off.

Oh, yeah, me, too.

Uh, yeah, I just didn't want
to get caught up

with any church business

that would delay
our getting out of town.

- I'll turn it back on
when we get there. -Yeah.

You're going to the seminar?

Yeah, the seminar--

the-the one-day seminar--
you know, church stuff.

Oh, yeah, church stuff.

Yeah, it's important
to keep up with... stuff.

And we'll be back in time
tomorrow for church.

Sure, okay.

And thank you so much
for taking time

to be with my girls today.

You know, they really
seem to like you,

and they wanted to use
teen pregnancy

and single motherhood
for their social studies paper.

And of course,
it's due on Monday

and they didn't tell me
till Thursday.

And, you know, they know
that you're the expert,

so they really wanted
to talk to you.

Well, I'm happy to do it.

I mean, I was a couple years
past being a teen

when I got pregnant,
but I can talk to them.

Plus, I could use the hours
for my class requirements.

So the girls aren't here yet?

Uh, no, but they should
be here any minute.

Oh, and-and good idea
bringing Aaron along.

Oh, Martin's coming down.

He's going to babysit.

I just guess he got stuck
in traffic, too.

So things are going well
with you two?

Yeah, they are.

And he's driving
all the way down here

on a Saturday to babysit
so I can do this,

so I guess he really
cares about me.

I guess he does.

I know he does.

W-We better hit the road.

Well, I'll let you know
how it goes.


Here we go.


Here we go.

So you-you wanted to sneak out
of town to go fishing with me,

spend a little time
with your old man, huh?


And we lied about
church business

so your mom and Kevin
wouldn't want to go with us?

Well, it's really just
a little white lie.

I mean, not even that.

I mean, we could use the time

to learn things
and talk about...



Church stuff, if you want.

So y-you didn't, by any chance,

time this to avoid
watching your teen girls

worship at Sandy's feet again?


I am not jealous of Sandy.

All right, whatever.

I'm just happy to have
some time with you.

- Is she here?
- Is Sandy here?

Is she inside?

Yeah, she's inside.

Let's go fishing.

Well, Sandy's staying
here tonight with the baby,

so I can only offer you
the couch.

And I would have
to talk to Eric

before I could offer you
anything more than that.

Well, it'll just be
for a couple of weeks

until I can find an apartment.

My parents' condo
just isn't safe.

Now that my parents
are back together,

they're really together.

And it's a small place,
a one-bedroom condo.

They... They offered me
the couch,

but I-I just haven't slept
since I got back.

I see. And you couldn't

possibly stay
in that environment?

It's really uncomfortable.

More than uncomfortable.

I think it might cause
permanent psychological damage.


Mac, don't you think
you're being a little,

just a little dramatic?

You--I mean, you know,
you could stay there

an extra couple of weeks
till you find an apartment.

You know, they are your parents.

Which is what makes it
so... devastating.

And-And I'm so comfortable here,

I mean, even with Ruthie
and that orphan boy you took in.

He's not an orphan.

His mother just moved
out of town.

And he does have a name--
T Bone.

Well... that Ruthie--

she sure has grown
into a woman overnight, huh?

Well, it wasn't exactly

but-but she is a woman;
a-a young woman.

Ruthie has grown up
quite a bit.

And I-I'm okay with that.

That's cool.

That's really, uh...

Yeah, you're really evolved.


Yes, and surely you,
as an evolved woman,

should understand the need
for my parents to be together.

To have their privacy.

My staying in their condo might
even jeopardize their future.

Their relationship is still
very fragile.

And while I thought that
they would find strength

in the three of us reuniting,

well, it just seems like
it's more about the two of them.

I guess the message
should have been clear

when they got
the one bedroom, but...

Hey, I'm just glad
that they decided

to give their marriage
another shot.

Yeah, me, too.

(footsteps approaching)

I tried.

They don't want to go.


Have you two met?

Uh, Mac, this is Jane.

Jane and her-her best friend
Margaret are living

in the garage apartment.

Jane, this is Mac;
he's Martin's friend.

Although, actually, you haven't
met Martin either, have you?


Hi. Mrs. Camden invited me
to live here, too.

Did I?


Or welcome or something.

Didn't we...

I'm sure I'd remember.

...go to high school together?

I don't think so.

We don't want to see
a cartoon movie.

We want to stay home with you.

Dad said to take care of you.

Oh, that's so nice,
but, you know,

moms just--they, you know,
they love to have the house

all to themselves sometimes.

Just a couple of hours,
just to be alone.

We want to be alone with you.

Don't you want to see
Rocky Robin?

Yeah. It's really good.

We could go this afternoon,

and then go have pizza
and ice cream and...

whatever you want.

Rocky Robin's for babies.

I like a real movie.

Something with a living room,
a story and actors.

I tried.

I really wanted
to see that movie.

You know what,
I've been dying to see

that movie, too--
maybe we could go.

No, we couldn't.


So, are we going?

Oh, um,

this is Margaret,
Jane's friend.

This is Mac.


Hi. So, you two are living
in the garage apartment?

Yeah, it's taken.

You weren't hoping
to move in there, were you?

Oh, no, no.

I-I prefer to stay in the house.

Uh, well, you know, I haven't
quite made that decision.

So, uh, I just don't know

whether you can stay there
or not for a while.

Oh, sure, n-no rush.
You know what?

Hey, how about Margaret,
Jane and I go to the Promenade,

get a bite to eat
and go see that movie,

and you can take
all the time you need.

I thought
you were gonna meet Martin.

We could make it a foursome.

I don't think so.


Uh, are you Martin?


Yeah, let me go get my bag.


Where's Aaron?

Uh, I'm picking him up
from the church.

I wanted to pick up Mac first.

All right, well, I'm gonna
let all of you sort this out.

I-I saw something similar
to this once with Mary and Lucy

and this guy with big lips.

Uh, so I'm just gonna
stay out of this.

(footsteps approaching)

Hello, uh... Martin!

Good to see you.

Yes. Martin.

Good to see you.

All right.

Have a nice day.

Uh, bye, Mac.

Ruthie's boyfriend, T Bone.

He, uh, goes to
our old high school.

Who was the girl? The blonde?

That was no girl.

That was a woman--
the woman of my dreams,

the woman I'm gonna marry.

And she also says
she went to school with us.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure
I'd remember.

And, uh, are you blind?

'Cause she was totally
looking at me.

Oh, Martin, Martin,
see, you may know babies,

but you don't know women.

See, Jane and I, we, uh...

well, obviously, we clicked.

I don't think so.

And she was totally
looking at me.

No, she wasn't.

And don't get greedy here;
you have Sandy.

I don't have Sandy;
she's just the mother of my son.

Just? You almost married her
a couple of months ago.

But I didn't.

I'm sorry.

His dad was
supposed to pick him up.

I just, I guess he's running
a little late.

- His dad is picking him up here?
- Mm-hmm.

Here? In this room?

(squealing laughter)

What's so great about that?

Martin Brewer is super cute.

I can't wait to see him
with his son.

Are the two of you
going to get married?


We're talking about it.



(door opens)

Kevin, thank God you're here.

You have to help me.

I do?

I was hoping
to have the day to myself.

Just Savannah and me, anyway.

"Thank God"?

You get into a fight?

I wish.

Quite the opposite.

Ruthie's had me pinned down
for the past two hours.

I mean, you know, don't get me
wrong, I love to make out,

but whoa, the woman's a tiger.

Spare me the details;
she's my little sister.

Little sister-in-law, which

shows you how desperate
I am for advice.

Advice about what?

My lips are completely numb!

T Bone, what did I say
about details?

I don't have anyone else
to talk to,

and... I have to talk.

I'm a talker, as you know.

And I'm telling you, this guy,
he comes into the house...


Martin's friend--
he was kind of interested

in Ruthie at one point, but
she wasn't interested in him.

I see.

Oh, now I get it.

She's just coming on to me
to get back at him.


I thought I sensed
something, but...

I'm so pathetic.

She's just doing this
to make sure

that he notices
she has a boyfriend.

I don't think that's true.
What do you mean, "doing this"?

Doing what?
It's not like the two of you

haven't been making out nonstop
for the past two months.

Not at this level.

What level?

A new level!

That's what I wanted
to get your advice about.

I think that we're entering
the... danger zone.

Oh... no, you're not.

Not if you want to live.

Look, didn't you just get

your emancipation papers
from the attorney?

Oh, well, it's not official yet.

It's just the official
filing for emancipation.

And what does that have
to do with anything?

Ruthie is probably...
clinging to you

because you'll officially
be emancipated soon,

which means you'll soon
be free to leave

and go wherever you want--

get your own place,
move in with Jane and Margaret

if they get their own place.

And all that probably makes
Ruthie feel insecure.

I don't think things have moved
to a new level because of Mac.

I think she just might feel
a little afraid of losing you.

So don't do anything--
and I mean anything--stupid.


Yeah, maybe you're right.

Oh, I'm right, all right.

Did I mention
your life would be at risk?

You did.

Just don't do anything
to make her feel rejected

or foolish or anything,

because that wouldn't
be good, either.

Just let her know
you're interested in

doing more than making out.

That's not what I mean.

I mean, let her know
you're interested in

doing things
other than making out.

Spend time with her,

pay attention to her,
take her out to dinner,

just the two of you, talk.

Women love to talk.

Which is why I love the idea of
having time today not to talk.

(Savannah crying
over baby monitor)

My time to myself
is now officially over.

Good luck.

I don't think Ruthie's
gonna settle for just talk.

You don't need boys
to have fun, you really don't.

It's fun to just be with
the girls, or by yourself.

I hate to be by myself.

You can't go anywhere
with yourself

without looking like
a total loser.

That's not true.

I don't think you can really

be happy in life until
you can enjoy your own company.

Until you can be
absolutely comfortable

all by yourself, alone.

Name one place you wouldn't be
afraid to go by yourself

without being embarrassed.

You could go anywhere--
to the movies.

Didn't you guys tell me
there was a great movie

down at the Promenade
right now-- um, Rocky Robin?

Any one of you could go
by yourself, if you wanted.

You don't need a guy
to take you.

I'd go by myself.

Really, I would.

I always have to take Aaron
everywhere, but...

I'd go to dinner
or a movie by myself,

if I ever got the chance.

Out to dinner by yourself?

People would stare at you.

They'd think you're pathetic.

That you have no friends,
and even worse,

no boyfriend.

I don't really care
what people think,

as long as I feel like
I'm doing the right thing.

Sorry I'm late.

Mac held me up.

That's okay.

Everyone, this is Martin.

Martin, this is everyone.


Thanks for helping me out.

Oh, no problem.

He's my son;
I'm happy to do what I can.

Uh, so, I'll see you later
at the Camdens?

Um, yeah, sure.
Do you mind if we take him

down to the Promenade,
maybe to a movie?

He's a little young for a movie,
don't you think?

It's animated.

You could try it, I guess.

Okay. Well, see you later.

It might be a few hours.

All right.

Bye, everyone.


Oh, um, Sandy, can I,
can I ask you something?



Is everything okay?

What? Yeah, no,
everything's okay.

Um, it's just...

we're not married,
and I was just wondering--

we're both free to see
other people, right?

You can see whoever
you like, Martin.

We're not married.

Yeah. That's what I thought.

And... you can see
anyone you like.


Wait a minute,
I-I'll be right back.

Do you have a date?

No. It's, like, a group thing.

Jane and Margaret live
with the Camdens.

You can go with us
if you want.

But I know how you like
spending time alone-- overheard.

You have a date.

You obviously have a date.

Wait, you were planning
on taking our son out on a date?

Well, it's not like
you haven't done it before.

I haven't done that since
we talked about getting married.

Yeah, but we didn't get married.

No, we didn't.

Okay, so I just thought...

Come here.

(sighs softly)

You want to know what it's like
being a single mom?

This is what it's like.

You're responsible
for another human being

24 hours a day, seven days
a week, for at least...

at least the next 18 years,
and probably longer than that,

while the baby's father goes

and does whatever he wants
whenever he wants.

And you have
to confront your fear

and your anger
and your resentment,

and lift yourself up every day
for the sake of your child.

(voice breaking): And sometimes
that's really hard.

Did you see the look
on Ruthie's face

when I invited her
to have dinner,

just the two of us,
so we could talk?

She didn't even pretend
to smile.

'Cause she's not really
after a cheese pizza

and some conversation.

No. She's after me.

- (barks)
- Don't... Don't...

Don't look at me like that.

Don't channel
your inner Reverend Camden.

I'm not the one
pushing for sex, she is.

It happens!

Women are like that.

And I guess she figures that,

if I'm legally
going to be a man,

then, well... I should be a man.

Please stop looking
at me like that.

I'm in love.

And, well, sometimes,
when a man loves a woman,

and when a woman
loves a man...

Hi, T Bone.

Hi, Mrs. Camden.

Do you need someone to talk to?

Uh... oh, no.

I think we figured
everything out.

Well, I'm-I'm certainly
not as insightful as Happy,

but I have been known
to solve a problem or two.

Do you have a problem?

Do you and Ruthie
have a problem?

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

No problem.

Uh, but thanks, Mrs. Camden.

And although I believe

your problem-solving
skills are excellent,

I'm, uh... really okay.

This was just
one of those, you know,

man-to-man discussions.

Whatever you say, T Bone.

Of course, you know,
Happy's a girl.



Well, I guess I forgot that.

Well, bye.
Got to get to work.

Oh, wait.

Isn't Ruthie going with you?

Weren't you going to try
to see Rocky Robin,

and take her with you?

Oh, yeah.

She's not going to go.

She "hates" animation.

I suppose it's too childish
for her,

what, being the world traveler
that she is.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

So I'm just going to come home
after the booth closes,

and then Ruthie and I
will hang out

and watch a movie--
an adult movie.

Not like adult adult.

A movie that is not animation.

Okay. Uh, but I'll probably be
in bed by then,

so try to keep it sort of quiet
down there, okay?


So you're sure everything's okay
with you and-and Ruthie?

Yeah. Thanks for asking.

So that's not what you were
talking to Happy about?

- (grunts softly)
- No, no.

Oh, that was, uh,
something else entirely.

The emancipation hearing
that will be coming up soon.

That's funny, because
I thought I heard you

say something to the effect
of "When a man loves a woman."

Yeah. My mother--

when, uh, I was born,
she wasn't married,

and I was just explaining that
to the dog.

It's how she first
explained it to me.


Oh, that must have
been difficult for you

to deal with at the time.

At the time, I had no idea
what she was talking about.


Okay, well, you sure you don't
want me to drive you to work?

No. I'm perfectly okay
with public transportation.

Okay. Well, you and Ruthie
have a nice evening tonight.

Don't stay up too late.

You know,
we have church tomorrow morning.

You're a really good mom,
you know that?

He's a nice kid.

He's up to something, though.

(grunts softly)

Oh, I get it.

Mac's here, Martin's here.

She's trying to act
all grown up again.

Hi, Annie.

Hi. I was just going to see

if the two of you wanted
to come over for dinner.

Um, but I got distracted--
really distracted.

Thanks, but Sandy
just invited me

down to the Promenade
to have dinner.

Her and Aaron.


And I thought I'd see

if you'd mind keeping Savannah.

While you go down
to the Promenade

to have dinner with Sandy?

- No.
- No, you wouldn't mind?

No, I'm not going to watch
Savannah so that you can go.

But you and Savannah

and Sandy and Aaron
and me and the boys

can all have dinner
at the house here.

I'll cook for everyone,
after I talk to Ruthie.

Did you tell Lucy that you were

going to have dinner with Sandy?

No, but I don't think
she'd care.

I'll tell her later.

Why do you think Lucy and Eric

wanted to go on a fishing trip?

So you know, too.

Yeah. He took his fishing pole.

Yeah. She put a carton of worms
in the garage last night.

I thought they just
wanted time together.

I don't know why she told me
it was for the church.

I think Lucy was looking
for an official excuse

not to be with her class today.

I think she and Eric are,
you know,

annoyed with the deacons,

and they thought it'd be fun
to skip town

under the guise of doing
something for the church

rather than for each other.

So why'd they lie to us?

Because they don't want us
to come with them.

Oh. I didn't want to go.

I wanted the house to myself.

I know. Me, too.
Which is why you and I

didn't say anything,
even though we knew.


You do realize
that Lucy asked Eric to do this

after she set up Sandy to come
in and take over her class?

No. I didn't realize that.

She loves her class but,
right now, the kids love Sandy.

Wow. I can't believe
I missed that.

I really shouldn't be handing
out advice on relationships.


To T Bone?

Why would T Bone need advice?

Surely those two aren't thinking
of doing anything stupid,

and especially
not inside my house.


But we're happy at the Camdens.

Of course. Who wouldn't be?

But, sooner or later,
we're going to have to make

our own way in this world
and find a place of our own.

And, if you two are interested

in sharing the cost
of an apartment,

that'd be great.

It's really expensive
these days.

Don't you think that, if they
were going to get married,

they would have gotten married
before she had the baby?

Speaking of married...

I want to get married someday.

You know, settle down,
have a bunch of kids.

Yeah, well, first you have

to find someone
who isn't married.


Of course, with the three of us,
we'll need

something spacious
but not expensive.

Three bedrooms would be nice.

Washer and dryer--
that way, we don't have to waste

a bunch of money
at the Laundromat.

Oh, and a deck! Yeah.

And two bathrooms, what with
the way you ladies are.

Do you like patios?

We haven't said we would
get an apartment with you.

We don't even know you.

But we went
to high school together.

And we're gonna be spending

the next couple of weeks
at the Camdens.

We'll get to know each other.

Okay. Four tickets
for the late show.

They're all sold out for
everything except for the 9:00.

I guess we'll just
have to hang out.

I guess so.

Four batters,
four home runs in a row.

Man, that was,
that was something.

I know. That hasn't happened
since 1964,

Minnesota Twins against Kansas
City in the 11th inning.

I can't believe
you're a baseball fan.

I'm not just a fan,
I used to play.

Softball. Fast pitch.

I wonder why we never came
across each other at school.

I only went there
my senior year.

Oh, so that may be
why we never crossed paths.

Yeah, I-I left in January.

Because of Sandy and the baby?

Oh! Look at the time.

We better be heading
towards the movies.

Are you sure your husband
isn't going to mind

if you go to the movies
with these guys?

You're married?



Oh. Oh.

Um... well, it's, uh...
it's getting kind of late,

so I think I'm just going
to head back to school.

Married, huh?


He's in Iraq.

He's in the Army.

And we're getting a divorce.

So that means you're still
looking for a place to live.

And then, in front
of the whole class,

he asks me if we're exclusive.

Oh, Sandy, I'm so sorry.

He's such a jerk.

You know she's married.

She's married?

Yeah, to a guy in the Army.

She met him when
he got assigned to Iraq.

She was so desperate
for a place to live

that she married him
to get his benefits,

but then she changed her mind.

Does Martin know
that she's married?

I don't think so,
and, uh, neither does Mac.

Uh, I said that I would
just stay out of it.

That's kind of funny.

Yeah, it's kind of pathetic.

Jane's nice, you know?

Her-Her mom and her mom's
boyfriend are big pot smokers.

Jane was, too.

She took her mom's
boyfriend's pot,

and he hit her, and she left.

Now she says that
he just threatened her,

but Eric talked to the mom,

and he didn't just threaten her,
he-he hit her.

So she asked her mom
to make a choice

between her and the boyfriend,
and the mom chose the boyfriend.

That's terrible.

Yeah, it is.

But I still feel jealous,
and I'm still angry at Martin.

And I really thought Mac
was my friend, you know?

And then he's there
with Jane and Margaret,

and they're all going off
together, a foursome, and...

(quiet knock, door opens)

Hi. Can I come in?

Oh, sure.

I think I'll just go
check on the children.

Look, I don't know
what I was thinking.

That was really...
that was really stupid.

What was stupid?

I don't want to go out
with anyone.

I just want to be with you.

Oh, Martin, that's so sweet.

And a big fat lie.

You found out she was married,

so now you want
to make up with me.

Whoa, what?

W-What do you mean
make up with you?

Are we fighting?

I thought we were just
seeing other people.

How did I get into this?

How did I get involved
with a guy who's like,

12 years old?

Um, you got pregnant.

Well, yeah.

You know, you're right.

But that doesn't mean
that we have to get married.

I mean, I like the idea of it;

I like the idea of your being
in love with me and marrying me

and us raising our son together,

but... I'm not so sure
that's ever going to happen.

Well, you had your chance.

You're right, I did.

Good night, Martin.

I'll talk to you
next week sometime.

Good night, everyone.

(door shuts)

Was that Martin?

Yeah, I think it was.

Hmm. He must be
fighting with Sandy

if he's leaving like that.

Yeah, I'd imagine dating another
woman while you're trying

to marry the mother of your
child could cause some conflict.

You still interested
in going out with him?

Not right now, no.

What about Mac?

I have a boyfriend.

Yeah, you do.

Besides, Martin and Mac

probably still think
I'm still a child

or something like that.

Well, you're not a child,
but you are

too young to have sex.

And if you're thinking about
having sex

just to impress Martin and Mac
that you're all grown up,

well, that would be really bad.

- All right.
- All right?

You think I'm too young
to have sex.

And I'm sure my parents feel
the same way.

I'm sure most parents feel the
same way about their daughters.

I understand that.

Which means?

- Nothing.
- Nothing?

What your parents think
means nothing to you?

No, it's not that.

It's just that I don't expect
to get their approval

or your approval
or Lucy's approval

if I want to act like an adult.

Acting like an adult
is being responsible.

I fully intend
to be responsible.

Well, I fully intend
to tell your mother

that you're thinking
about having sex with T Bone,

if that's what you're telling me
you're going to do.

If that's a threat, then you can
forget it; I'll tell her.

- Fine, tell her.
- Fine, I will.

- Go ahead.
- Okay.

I'm sorry. All I wanted to do

was give you
a guy's perspective on this.

A guy will have sex with
any woman who will let him.

Don't be any woman.

Be you. Be Ruthie.

Wait until you get
out of high school.

Wait until you're married,
or at least until you're in

a committed relationship.


All right,
that's all I wanted to say.

Do you want to say anything?


(cell phone playing ringtone)

You talk too much.

I've heard that.

And yet I wonder
if one can talk too much.

Are you insane?

- You went to Kevin for advice?
- Did I?

He's sitting right here.

Or he was.

Now I have to talk to my mom
about the two of us,

thank you very much.

You know, my mother...

yeah, she's
a professional escort,

and I wouldn't even tell her
we're thinking about having sex.

Are you insane?!

Your mother would kick me out
of the house, at the very least!

So having a place to stay
is more important

than being with me?

You know what, the courts can
declare you an adult,

but you're not an adult
unless you act like one.

And you really aren't
mature enough to be with me.

Oh, is that right?

Because I was just calling
to see if you have any condoms

or if I should pick some up
on the way home.

How's that for being a man?

I have condoms.

Hi, Mom.

Should I pop some popcorn?

I have a feeling we have
some catching up to do.

Why on earth...
would you tell T Bone

that you slept
with your boyfriend

in Scotland when you didn't?

I don't know.

I'm just tired
of everyone thinking

that I'm still a little girl.

"Everyone" like...?


Martin, Mac, Kevin, Lucy,

Dad, you.

You all still treat me
like I'm a little girl.

And I'm not a little girl.

Well, I know that, honey,
but you are still young,

and you've got plenty
of time for...

an adult relationship.

Well, when do you think I could
have an adult relationship?

When you're an adult.

And when is that?

When you're married.

Yeah, unfortunately,
you're probably right.

Am I?

Believe me,
I've had opportunities

to have adult relationships.

But in the end, it always
turns out I'm still a Camden.

What does that mean?

Means I can't enjoy doing

anything I think is wrong.

That makes me so happy.


Come in.

You aren't, uh,
packing heat, are you?


Shouldn't you know

who's at the door before
you just yell "Come in"?

I knew it was you.


Too scared to go home
to the Camdens?


Maybe you should be.

Annie and Ruthie are talking.

I know, I heard.

I thought I'd give them
their privacy.

Yeah, privacy.

So, as you suggested,
I tried to talk to Ruthie,

and, uh, she's not
really interested

in talking this afternoon.

She's not going to
settle for just talking.

I tried.

I see.

You're what, irresistible?


Perhaps not.

So tell me, T Bone,
did you lie to Ruthie

when you told her you'd been
with other women?

No, I didn't.

But if I overheard correctly,
she lied to me.


Yeah, I had a feeling.

But I also have a feeling she's
serious about changing that.

You think you're ready
for an adult relationship

when the two of you can't
tell each other the truth?

I did tell her the truth.

Did you?

Did you tell her
that you weren't comfortable

with the kind of relationship
that she was suggesting

you two have while living
in her parents' house?

Really, what are
you two thinking?

I'm thinking I'm in love.

All right, well,
my offer stands.

I'll kill you
if you go near her.

I understand.

I hope you do.


you're not going to tell
Reverend Camden anything

about this
when he and Lucy get back

from their little trip, are you?

Don't have to.

Mom will tell him everything.

And even if she doesn't,
Ruthie will.

Tell her dad that she and I were
thinking about...?

She's a Camden.

And believe me, I know Camdens.


Hi. How are you?

- Pretty good, considering.
- Considering?

I just spent the past hour

talking with my mother
about my boyfriend.

Mm, T Bone, right?


- How's that going?
- Mm, okay, I guess.

How are things going
with Martin?

Okay, I guess.

He had a date tonight.

- Sort of.
- Martin?

Yeah, with that girl
who lives here--Jane.

- You're kidding.
- No, I'm not.

But she's married.

Yes, and he found that out.

But I thought you two were
thinking about getting married.

Or I know he wanted to get
married to you, anyway.

Yeah, I mean, it was
a really big possibility.


Sometimes you do something

that's not right
and you just can't take it back.

It's not a big thing
that he went out with Jane,

but I don't know,
I think it just changed

the way I see him.

You know, one bad decision
can change a person's life.

Hi. You must be T Bone.

I'm Sandy.

Oh, hi.

Nice to meet you.

I'll let you two talk.

Good night.

We can't do anything
more than this.

Yeah, I know.