7th Heaven (1996–2007): Season 1, Episode 20 - Say Good-Bye - full transcript

Mommy,

you have to move.

You're blocking Hoowie
and he can't see.

Oh, oh, Hoowie's here?

Yeah, can't you
see him?

Sure.

He just looked different.

New haircut?

No, he lost weight.

Oh, well, Hoowie's favorite--

oatmeal raisin.



Hello?

This is your life,
Annie Jackson.

Do you recognize the voice?

Rachel?

Rachel Grewe?

You got it, the one and only.

Oh, my gosh, what a surprise!

How long has it been?

An eternity, or high school.

They're about the same.

Oh, how are you?

Divorced... again.

I'm sorry.

Oh, I'm not.



Where are you calling from?

Which city-- Chicago, New York,
Paris?

Try Glenoak.

I rented an apartment
on Front Street.

That's in our neighborhood.

Small world.

Another one?

Okay, but only
because you lost weight.

Hey, I was watching that.

I know,
but now I am watching this.

Yeah, but I was here first.

Yeah, but I have
the remote control.

Mommy, Simon changed
the channel.

That's not fair.

Just a second, honey.

That's my youngest, Ruthie.

Yes, I've got five altogether.

Five.

Yeah, I did it all by myself.

Mommy...

make Simon stop.

Mommy's on the phone, honey.

What happened?

Simon sat on Hoowie
and squished him.

He's gone forever.

Uh, just a second.

Wow, Mom, you sure
don't look like a mom.

Oh, I'll take that
as a compliment.

You look absolutely beautiful.

So beautiful that maybe
I should go with you.

Oh...

Oh, yeah,
that'll keep them away.

So I hear you squished Hoowie.

Don't buy into this
Hoowie thing, okay?

Wow. Eric?

Uh, no, no, that's my dad--
I'm Matt.

Annie's son?

Well, again, wow.

I'm Rachel.

Hey.
Hey.

Rachel!
Annie!

Oh, it's so good
to see you.

You haven't changed a bit.

Oh, sure I have.

I wasn't blonde
in high school.

Hi, I'm Eric--
I'm Annie's husband.

Oh, honey,
no wonder you're happy.

Oh, and this is Mary.

Hi.
Hi.

And this is Lucy.

Nice to meet you.

- And Simon.
- Hi.

- And Ruthie.
- Hi.

This is great.

Five kids to play with.

You know, it gets
kind of lonely

being divorced.

You don't have a daddy
at your house?

No, afraid not.

So I want all
of you kids,

especially
Mary and Lucy,

to keep an eye
out for someone
I can date.

Three is my lucky number.

I'll keep
my eyes peeled.

Yeah, me, too.

Well, you guys
have a good time.

You haven't seen a guy named
Hoowie hanging around, have you?

Oh, no, sweetie, I haven't.

I think I'd remember
a guy named Hoowie.

It's a long story.

I'll tell you at dinner--
are you ready?

Let's go.
Nice to meet
you all.

Nice meeting you.

Hey, where's your car?

Don't have one.

That's why I took
an apartment

within walking distance
of your place.

It'll be easy
to drop by.

Don't stay out
too late, you two.

It's a school night.

Tell Lucy
that Suzanne's
on her way over.

So... Mom's got a new
hanging buddy, huh, Dad?

Yeah, yeah, isn't that great?

Maybe Hoowie isn't gone.

Maybe he's
at the airport
loading luggage.

Hoowie doesn't work
at the airport anymore.

He hurt his back.

Of course,
if you were
his friend,

you'd know that.

Ruthie, you've got
to come over here.

Hoowie's back!

I thought
you couldn't see him.

Uh, well, now I can...

because he's...
he's wearing really
bright clothes,

and I think that's why he left--
to go buy really bright clothes

so that people can see him
and not sit on him.

Is he tall with curly hair
and a mustache?

Yeah, yeah, he's tall
with curly hair and a mustache.

Then it's not Hoowie,
because he's short

and he has
straight hair

in a big clump
on top of his head.

I just feel so lost, you know?

After Frank, I thought
I'd go back to college,

and then I met George,
my second husband,

and he asked me
to drop out

because he felt that
school was interfering
with our marriage,

which was funny because
then I later found out

that it was his girlfriend

who was interfering
with our marriage.

Anyway,
you graduated

before you got married, right?

Oh, yeah, yeah.

It took me five years.

Changed majors a bit.

I went
from business,

to English lit, to art,
to home economics,

uh, then to theology
and back to business.

And after all that,
you're happy just staying home

with Eric
and the kids?

Well, I don't just stay,
you know?

It's hard work and believe me,

I use every major
I ever had in school.

Cheers.

Cheers.

Lucy,

I have big news.

My dad is getting my mom a job
interview at a car dealership!

That means that
my mom could quit

working two jobs!

Isn't that great?

Totally!

And the car dealership has

this kind of program where
employees can go to college.

So maybe my mom
could even go to college.

My mom and I can end up
doing our homework together.

This is so cool.

But we'd still study together
sometimes, right?

Oh, of course, because if my mom
and I were to study together,

I'd actually have to study.

Whereas with you,
I can still talk about boys.

Dad, you have
to help me

with this Hoowie
situation.

I... I can't...

I can't take
the guilt anymore.

Look, Simon, Ruthie's just
testing letting Hoowie go.

Kids do that at her age.

So, found Hoowie yet?

I'm not looking for him.

When Hoowie says he's going
to do something, he does it,

and he said he was out of here,

so he's gone.

Can we have a good-bye party
for him?

Well, if you really want to,
I suppose we can,

but maybe we should give Hoowie
a few days to show up again

before we give him
a big send-off.

He might just be
at the airport loading luggage.

Dad, he doesn't work
at the airport anymore.

He hurt his back.

Oh, that's too bad.

Although, since he's not working
nights, maybe he's, uh...

dating.

Hoowie's married.

Hoowie is married?

Duh.

Where's his wife?

Traveling.

On the space shuttle.

She's an astronautess.

A what?

A girl astronaut.

That would still be
"astronaut."

What difference
does it make?

She is the wife
of an imaginary guy.

That makes her nobody!

Nobody to you.

Honey, you know
how moody Hoowie is.

I'm sure he'll show up.

Hoowie's gone, but
if it'll make you feel better,

I'll wait a couple days
for the party.

Okay.

Do something.

I think you should
introduce Rachel
to one of the coaches.

Forget about it.

It'll only come back
to haunt me.

Why do you
care so much

about Rachel anyway?

I don't know, she's nice,

she's good looking

and I think Coach Mayfield
would like her.

Yeah, and then
if he doesn't,

I'll be on his list
for the rest of my life.

You like her so much,
you find her a date.

I'll play you for it.

If I make
this shot,

you have to fix her up.

If I don't, I'll fix her up.

Go right ahead, Shaquille.

Hi, girls, what's up?

Oh, right, sorry--
hi, women, what's up?

Suzanne just wanted
to thank you.

Yeah, since you
talked to my dad,

he's been great,

and he got my mom
a job interview

at a big car
dealership.

Oh, yeah, which one?

Um, Northern Honda.

Oh, so you'd be leaving Glenoak?

W-why would we
do that?

Yeah, who said anything
about leaving town?

I'm probably wrong.

Maybe I'm... I'm thinking
of another car dealership.

Suzanne, you want a lift home?

Why can't you
take her later?

She just got here.

Later I've got studying.

That's okay.

I want to go ask my mom
about this car thing anyway.

Oh, hi.

Rachel, this is
Lucy's very best
friend, Suzanne.

And Suzanne, this is
my very best friend

from high school, Rachel.

Nice to meet you.

Same here.

I'm, uh, I'm just going
to run her home.

Oh, well, look,

if Matt's going to take
Suzanne home,

maybe he could drop me off

instead of
coming in

for coffee.

All that catching up
was exhausting.

No problem.

I'll see you tomorrow.

Okay.

Thank you.

Bye.

Hey, did you have
a good time?

Oh, it was like being
in high school again.

You hated
high school.

But I loved hanging
out with Rachel.

Well, I'm glad
you had a good time.

Oh, yeah...

Oh, by the way,

Rachel needs to borrow
the car tomorrow.

Do you mind if she
drops you off at church
in the morning?

No, that's... that's fine.

Rachel is, uh, she's quite
the adventurous type.

I mean, you know, moving to a
town where she knows no one

and doesn't have a job.

I admire that.

Hmm.

No, you don't.

But it's nice
of you to say so.

Look, if Rachel
starts getting
on your nerves,

all you have to do
is find a nice guy
to fix her up with.

Oh.

Rachel strikes me
as boy crazy.

Why do you think
we were best friends?

I'm sorry,

I know I've got
keys somewhere in here.

It's okay, take your time.

What's wrong?

Nothing's wrong.

So you want to come in?

Uh, no, no thanks.

I better get going.

You don't find me
attractive, do you?

Uh, sure...

but you're also
my mom's friend.

Well, what would happen

if I weren't
your mom's friend?

Would you
ask me out?

Yeah, yeah, I guess.

Why not?

Good answer.

Tomorrow night,
we have a date.

I'm taking you
to see a band.

Mmm, thank you for breakfast.

I still don't have
any groceries yet,

but even if I did,
I couldn't cook like this.

Well...

Hey, did Matt tell you?

Tell us what?

I'm taking him
to hear a band
tonight.

A band?

Yeah, at one time

between husbands, I dated
the keyboard player's brother.

Oh.

Um, I don't know if I like
the idea of Matt going to a bar.

Oh, it's not a bar.

It's like a coffee house

with plenty
of kids around.

I'm not even sure
they sell alcohol.

Well, can I come, too?

Yeah, that's a great idea.

You... you come, too.

Fine, it'll be
just the three of us.

Well, I guess
we won't worry

as long as they're
with you.

Yeah, but it's

a school night,
so homework first,

and back by 10:30.

We better get going.

Oh, and don't
worry, Annie.

I'll have the car back
in a couple of hours.

Oh, take all the time you need.

Mom, can I pack
Suzanne a lunch, too?

Oh, sure, honey.

Did you find out
if Suzanne is moving?

She's not moving.

She can't move.

It'll ruin my life.

If it weren't
for Suzanne,

Jimmy and I probably
would have broken up.

But because I can bounce things
off of Suzanne

before I hit Jimmy with them,
our relationship has survived.

You know,
I was there

before Suzanne, and I let you
bounce things off of me.

I know.

Jimmy and I refer to that
as our rocky period.

Hey, Ruthie,

you know in Peter Pan

when it seemed like Tinker Bell
had disappeared,

then the whole
audience clapped

and Tink came back?

Tinkerbell was a fairy.

Still, it might work.

Go ahead-- clap.

See?

No Hoowie.

Sanders...

Sanders?

Suzanne
Sanders?

Lucy, is Suzanne sick?

Um, I don't know. Why?

Just asking.

I know how close you two are.

Tell her I hope
she's okay

when you talk to her.

Yeah.

When I talk to her.

Turnbull...

Here.

Vanover...

Here.

Wilson...

Hey, you know that bet
we made yesterday,

that one about
setting up Rachel?

Forget about it.

Why is that?

I-I don't know.

I just don't think
this is the right time

to be setting up Rachel
with a date.

You know, maybe
she needs more time
to get settled.

Uh-huh.

What are you up to?

Nothing.

Rachel just seems like
she's having a hard time

and she might get
all weepy or something

in front of Coach Mayfield.

Whatever.

Thanks.

Okay, I got
Twinkies, Ding-Dongs,

oatmeal
raisin cookies.

If this isn't enough

to lure him out of hiding,
I don't know what is.

Let him go, Simon.

He's gone.

He's not gone.

I swear
I heard him

in the middle
of the night snoring.

Remember he snores?

Maybe he'll come back tonight.

You can tell yourself anything
that makes you feel better,

but sooner or later
you have to face the truth.

Good trap.

It's not for catching dogs, it's
for catching invisible people.

Suzanne, finally!

Where were you today?

I missed you.

I made your lunch.

I'm sorry.

My mom and I took a trip
down to the car dealership,

and it's two hours from here.

She wanted me with her so we
could look at apartments.

Do you think she got the job?

Yeah.

So you're moving?

It looks that way.

I'll call you back.

I've got to go help my mom.

Yeah...

Okay, bye.

Don't worry,
these things

always start later
than they say they will.

You know, Mary sings.

She's got a great voice.

Really,
Mary?

Ever sing in public?

There you are!

Hey.

How are you?

Good-- Tim,
these are my friends.

This is Matt
and his sister Mary.

Nice to meet you.

Thanks for coming down.

You look great.

You think?

Yeah-- good enough
to come up on stage

and sing with us.

So you want to?

What, you think this dress
came with a voice?

You know I'm tone deaf.

Yeah, I remember,
but we're desperate.

Our singer didn't show

and the manager of this place
is about ready to kill us.

Perfect.

Mary has a wonderful voice
and she's dying to sing.

No, no, no, I couldn't.

Come on, don't be shy.

What kind of music do you sing?

I don't know.

Uh, blues or jazz.

So how about it?

How about what?

Just one song
until she shows up.

Come on,
please?

Go for it.

What are you

waiting for?

Come on.

Maybe this will be a night
to remember after all.

Excuse me?

Your sister with a band
for the first time?

Oh, yeah, right.

So, Matt, what's a lady
got to do to get a dance?

Oh, no, I really don't dance.

Good, I'll teach you.

That was a date.

You were on a date--

a date with one of your
mother's best friends.

How twisted is that?

It wasn't a date.

Oh, yes, it
was a date.

I was there.

I saw you--
it was a date.

Fine,
it was a date.

So what?

So you're admitting it?

Hi, there.

Uh, what are you
doing in here?

Well, a few seconds ago
I was enjoying a piece of fruit,

but now I'm on the verge
of having heart failure.

Mary, can I speak
to your brother
alone, please?

I'm sure you're never
going to believe me,

but it was Rachel
who hit on me

and not the other
way around.

Actually, yes,
I could believe that.

When I took her home
the other night,

she kind of made
a pass at me,

but I didn't do
anything-- nothing.

I didn't touch her,

I didn't kiss her,
nothing.

I see.

Anyway, she told me we were
going to see this band tonight

and it was a date.

And I... I guess it was.

This isn't good.

I know that--
I'm not completely stupid.

So what do you plan
to do about it?

Well, I don't know.

I mean, it's not my fault
she likes me,

and she's not
bad looking

and she's... she's lonely.

So I've heard.

What, are you going to tell me
that this never happened to you?

You were never attracted
to an older woman

when you were
my age?

Actually I was.

She was a friend

of my mother's, too--
the admiral's wife.

She had legs that were so long

you could...

Never mind.

The point is, um,

you need to speak to your mother
because Rachel is her friend.

Yeah?

Is that what you did,
you told your mother?

Okay, I see your point.

Look...

let's give Rachel some time
to tell Mom herself.

If we do
anything else,

it's like we're squealing
on Mom's best friend.

You know, in an odd way,
that makes sense.

But...

if Rachel continues
to flirt with you,

you're... you're going to have
to make it clear to her

that you're not interested.

What if I am interested?

Well, I'm sure we could afford
to send you to military school

for a while.

Dad...

Matt, you're 17,
and she's...

I don't know what she is,
but you're not interested.

Period.

The end.

Okay, thanks.

Bye.

That was
the keyboard player

from the band
last night.

Their lead singer
is still sick

and they want me
to fill in

for her again
tonight!

Isn't that great?!

Somebody pinch me.

Ouch.

You sang with
the band last night?

She was...
she was really good.

She's a good singer.

So can I do it?

Well, I...

Um...

I think 14 is
a little young
to be singing

in a coffee house
with a band.

Mom, Dad was
in a band

when he was
in high school.

Oh, yeah,
like these guys look

just like Dad
in high school... ow!

Don't help, okay?

Matt, Mary,

would you please
give your father
and me a moment alone?

I don't like this.

I don't want our
daughter hanging out
in a coffee house.

We don't know what kind
of guys those are.

We don't know what kind
of songs they sing.

I don't even like the fact

that she was
up there onstage
with them last night.

I see your point,
but on the other hand,

it might be fun to watch
our daughter sing in public.

Oh, so we'd go
with her?

Of course we'd go
with her.

Oh, well, okay,

but I intend to talk
to Rachel about this.

In the future
I would rather

that she not get
our daughter involved

in these types of situations.

Unless you'd want
to talk to her.

No, no, no,
she's... she's your friend.

I'll let the two of you
work this out.

Okay.

I give up.

Have the farewell
party.

I've done all
I can do.

Come on, guys,
time for school.

I have to brush
my teeth.

Could we please have
Hoowie's farewell party tonight?

Uh, yeah, I guess we could.

Will you give the speech?

Hoowie liked you
practically better than anybody.

Hoowie liked me?

Lots, because you knew
he was real.

Oh, well...

What about me?

I'm the one
who's been building the traps,

setting out
his favorite food,

and I don't think he's real?

If you thought he was real,
why did you sit on him?

Hi.

I packed Suzanne
a lunch.

Oh, forget it.

I'm going to start easing off
on the relationship

so our breakup
won't be as hard.

Oh, honey, you don't want
to ease off on the relationship.

Enjoy this time with Suzanne,
and then when she's gone,

you'll have the fun and
good times to remember her by.

And a big hole
right in the middle of my heart.

Look, there's no way
to make this separation easy,

but you
and Suzanne

can talk
on the phone,

and I'll make sure that
she gets a chance to come down

for a weekend
now and then.

Mom, how did you and Rachel

lose touch
with each other?

Oh, I'm not really sure.

I guess we just stopped working
at staying close.

You know, having
a relationship

of any kind takes work,

whether it's being a friend,
or a brother and sister,

or a wife and a mother.

So basically
life is just hard work.

You're depressing me.

Why don't
you go to school?

Hey, you can
take two pieces
of leftover cake,

but don't tell
the others.

Okay.

Love you.

Honey...

we'll be having
a farewell party

for Hoowie tonight.

I'll make something special.

Ice cream, please.

Hoowie would have wanted us
to have ice cream.

I'll see what
I can do.

Could it be that
we're having ice cream

because maybe you think
that Hoowie might show up?

He just can't let him go.

Here, you guys.

See you later.

Thanks.

Hoowie liked me.

Oh...

Thanks, Lucy.

You're the best.

I really am going
to miss you.

I'm going to
miss you, too,

but at least we still
have a few weeks--

almost a month--

so we can just make
the most out of it.

Well, actually
we don't.

My mom's job starts
next Monday,

and we're moving
this weekend.

I just came
to say good-bye

and pick up my school records
for the transfer.

So that's it?

I'm afraid so.

But that's
so quick.

I know--
I really hate this.

But I'm really happy
for my mom and all

with this job.

Wait, um, maybe you
could come over

to my house tonight.

We're having this
farewell party

for Ruthie's imaginary
friend, Hoowie,

and it could be your party, too.

I can't.

I'm seeing my dad tonight.

So this is really it.

I'm never going to have
another friend like you.

Oh, hi.

Is the Laundromat
open for business?

Oh, sorry.

I've already got
a load in.

You'll have to wait.

Oh, that's
all right.

I got all the time
in the world.

Hey, you wouldn't
happen to have
any detergent

and softener?

I think so.

Actually, I'm glad
you stopped by

because, um, I wanted
to talk to you

about last night.

Ooh,
do we have to?

I mean, I know it
wasn't a good idea,

but, you know, I didn't want
to hurt his feelings.

Matt's just a kid,

and, um, well, so he's
got a little crush on me.

It's nothing serious.

It'll go away.

I was... talking about
Mary wanting to sing

in the band.

Did you just say that

Matt has
a crush on you?

What makes you think
that Matt has a crush on you?

Well, he kind of
made a pass at me.

But don't worry.

It was all
very flattering.

So when's this
Hoowie thing?

I've got to drive Mary
to the coffee house

and she wants
to get there early.

Plus I've got
to pick up Rachel.

That won't be necessary.

Your father and I
will pick up Rachel

and we'll take Mary.

You guys are going?

Of course
we're going.

We want to hear
Mary sing.

Mom, Mary's not
going to think

that having you and
Dad there is cool.

I don't care what Mary thinks.

The fact is
she's a 14-year-old.

Fine.

You're the mom.

Yes,
I am the mom.

Are you in a bad mood
about something?

I was waiting till
your father got home

to talk to him about it,

but I don't think
I can wait.

I'm really mad
at you, Matt,

and I think we should talk
about it right now.

What'd I do now?

Rachel told me what happened
between the two of you.

She did?

How could you?

How could you make
a pass at her?

I... I... I don't know.

I don't know, either.

She is totally
inappropriate

for a 17-year-old,

not to mention that she
is very vulnerable right now.

Um, you're right.

You're right.

I'm sorry.

It won't happen again.

I'll talk to Rachel tonight
and straighten things out.

You'll be baby-sitting tonight.

You can talk to Rachel tomorrow.

Fine.

What time is it?

Five minutes after
the last time you asked.

When are we going to
have Hoowie's party?

I don't know
what your big hurry is.

Once we have the party,
Hoowie's gone.

He can't come back.

That's it.

And as much as I'm going
to miss the little guy,

believe me, you're going to miss
him a whole lot more.

Okay, what
about this one?

Sure, whatever,
you'll look great.

Or I could shave my head.

Sure, whatever,
you'll look great.

Come on, Luce,

cheer up.

How can I?

My best friend is gone

and school will never
be the same.

Look, next year
you'll be in ninth grade

and we'll be in the same school
together-- that'll help.

The nightmare continues.

Not only will I not
have Suzanne with me,

but I'll be going

to a new school where my sister
is a star basketball player.

Like you're really going to pal
around with me.

Would you stop worrying?

I'll be your friend.

Hey, are you aware
Mom and Dad

are escorting you
to the coffee house?

No way-- I'm going
to look like a big baby.

Can't I just go
with you and Rachel?

Uh, Luce, I need to talk
to Matt alone.

Oh, yeah, this friendship thing
is working out great!

I can't wait till high school.

Rachel lied and told Mom
that I hit on her.

So what did you say?

I didn't say anything.

Why not?

I don't know,
I just didn't want

to say anything bad
about her.

I mean, she's a nice woman.

Matt, you're a nice guy.

Look, people are always
assuming guys will be guys

and that we have these
uncontrollable urges,

so Mom's probably thinking
I'm just being a guy.

It's no big deal.

No big deal?

It's a completely
sexist assumption
about men in general.

Yeah, well, men can take it--
that's... why we're men.

Dad, you and Mom can't come
hear me sing tonight.

I'm going to be
totally humiliated.

No one is going to be there
with their mom and dad.

You were there last night
with Rachel--

she's old enough
to be your mom.

Yeah, but that was different,
she was with...

Uh... you know.

Yes, I... I do know,

and I want to talk
to Matt alone.

I, uh, spoke to your mom.

You didn't tell her
anything, did you?

No, I didn't, and
that's because I think

you should be the one
to tell her the truth.

It's time.

All right?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Mom, please,
you don't understand

how important
this is to me.

Look, we are coming.

- End of discussion.
- I'll get it!

We'll sit in the back,

nobody will know
we're there,

but we are going.

Great.

I heard that.

I'm back!

Oh, listen,
I talked to Matt.

I am so sorry
for the way he behaved.

Oh... don't worry
about it.

Water under the bridge.

I told my dad
it was important

for me to see you
tonight,

and he agreed,
so here I am.

Am I too late?

No.

So where's your dad?

Oh, he went to go pick up
some boxes for my mom,

but he'll be back later
to pick me up.

I'm so glad you came.

Thank you, thank you,
thank you.

Okay, let's get started.

Welcome.

We are gathered
together tonight

to, uh... to say... farewell

to our good and dear friend
Hoowie.

This is something
that saddens us all,

and yet it wouldn't be right
to let him go

without remembering
the good times.

It seems like only yesterday

that Hoowie ate his first
gallon of Holy Cannoli.

I remember that.

Yeah.

And we all know how much
he enjoyed, uh, going to church

and helping out
with the bake sales.

Hoowie was truly a great friend
and a good Christian.

Not that Hoowie was
without his faults.

You know, friendships aren't
always perfect,

because people aren't perfect--

imaginary or real.

Sometimes, in their desperation
to keep a friend

or be approved of,

or stay close,
friends will tell us things

that aren't altogether true,

or leave out certain things
they think we'd rather not hear.

There was the time that Hoowie
lied-- lied to Annie and me

about leaving Ruthie's rag doll
out in the rain.

We... we both knew
that Ruthie had done it,

but we could appreciate

that Hoowie didn't want her
to feel hurt--

she had already lost her doll.

And what about....

There he is!

Yeah, there he is!

Hoowie, welcome back, man.

We missed you.

Are you sure

that's Hoowie?

I'm sure.

Hoowie, you cannot

play tricks on Ruthie
like that--

she was really,

really worried.

He wasn't playing tricks.

He just got stuck
on the space shuttle--

when he went to go
see his wife.

Well...

Then, uh... uh, Hoowie,
we rejoice in your return,

and ice cream for everyone.

Everybody want
chocolate syrup?

I do!

Annie, could I see
you in the kitchen
for just a second?

Sure.

Look, Annie, I have to
tell you the truth about Matt.

The truth?

Yeah.

Matt didn't make a pass at me,
I sort of... hit on him,

and then I insisted that
we go to the coffee house

as, well, a date.

I'm sorry.

What exactly
are you sorry about?

Making a pass at my son

or lying about it?

I'm... I know
it was stupid.

It's just that I...

Well, after my divorce
and everything,

I started feeling
really old

and unattractive--

and Matt made me feel
young again.

If a guy 20 years older
than Mary hit on her,

we'd have him arrested!

What were you thinking?

I wasn't thinking;
and Matt doesn't look 17.

But he is 17, and you know it.

Not to mention the fact

that he's my son and you lied

and made him look bad.

I don't know what to say.

My life is just so screwed up
right now.

Well, I am sorry
about your problems,

but those problems
are affecting my family

and that is
just not going to continue.

Look, Annie, I really don't want
to lose you again.

Is there any way
I can make this right?

You can apologize to Matt,

and then you can start
accepting the fact

that maybe if you straightened
out your own life,

the right man would come along,

instead of waiting for the right
man to come along

to straighten out your life.

Hard as that is to hear...

I know you're right.

That's what friends
are for,

to tell you the truth--
when no one else will.

This is the last time
I'm asking.

But do you and Mom
really have to come?

Yes-- it's the law.

Matt--

Rachel would like
to talk to you

in the kitchen.

Matt...

I'm so sorry I jumped
to the wrong conclusion.

Um, I understand.

It's that old
reverse-sexism thing.

It's okay.

Look, Lucy, I have
to tell you something.

You found out, didn't you?

Found out what?

That I kissed Jimmy Moon.

I guess I should have
told you,

but it was
so long ago.

I totally forgot
about it

until your dad
made that speech.

I'm sorry I never
said anything.

But I guess Jimmy
told you, huh?

Oh, yeah, of course,
I mean, we're very close.

He tells me everything.

Well, I hope
you understand.

It was kindergarten.

I did it on a dare.

It was kindergarten?

Oh, please.

Who cares?

Thanks for understanding.

I really am going
to miss you.

Jimmy Moon is
a dead man.

I've never done anything
like this before,

and... I am not
in the habit

of trying
to date teenagers.

You know, you're
a really nice woman.

Why don't you quit
beating up on yourself?

Everything's going to be fine.

How can you be so forgiving?

Good gene pool, I guess.

Wow, man,
she is so hot.

Hey, told you, huh?

She was here
last night.

That's my 14-year-old daughter
you're talking about.

Fourteen?

No kidding.

No kidding, 14--

and he's a minister.

If I had a 14-year-old
daughter like that,

I don't think I'd let her sing
at a coffee house.

I don't think I'd let
her sing in a cage

at a school for the blind.

What are you people thinking?

You're a minister?

Whoo!