7th Heaven (1996–2007): Season 1, Episode 14 - Seven Is Enough - full transcript
All three Camden generations dread the annual visit of Eric's parent's, "The Colonel" (John Camden) and Grandma Ruth Camden. The tension between father and son is heightened when both Eric and "The Colonel" want to adopt a homeless and orphaned 10-year-old boy, George. Annie discovers the fate of her lost wedding rings when seeing them on a woman at the store.
If they're our
grandma and grandpa,
why do we have to call him
"Colonel"?
The flight zone
is for the immediate loading...
That's because your grandpa
was a soldier,
and he is very proud of it,
so we call him "Colonel"
out of respect.
- I thought it was out of fear.
- It is for me.
I'm scared of
both of them.
I don't know why
we all have to come pick 'em up,
especially on the one Friday
we all have off from school.
I mean, they only like Mom
and Mary, anyway.
We all pick them up
because that's
what we always do.
That's what they like...
and your father
won't do it alone.
- Bingo.
- But they're his parents.
Why can't we go inside?
Because they
don't like any big
emotional gatherings.
Hey, do you think
they'll bring the candy?
I hate the candy.
Me, too-- it's as
hard as a rock,
and it doesn't
even taste good.
I don't think anyone's ever
finished a whole piece of it.
Let me set your minds at ease.
Yes, they're going to bring
the candy.
They always bring the candy.
They think we love
the candy,
and we're going to keep
letting them think that.
Otherwise, they'll start
bringing something we like less.
Now, look, Grandma Ruth
and the Colonel love us.
They love to visit us,
and we are going to be
just as thrilled to see them
as they are to see us.
I bet they all came.
Of course they all came.
All seven of 'em.
They travel in a pack,
like wolves.
Have you got the candy?
No, I checked it
with the luggage.
It's too heavy
to carry.
I don't know why
they love it so much.
It's ugly, and it
tastes terrible.
I know, and they go on
about it
like they've never seen
candy before.
Those kids go on
about everything.
Oh, you see 'em
over there?
Would you look
at those teeth?
How can they have
such good teeth
when they eat all that candy?
They're here.
They've spotted us.
Oh, hi!
All right.
All right, time
to paste on the smiles.
Hey, you made it.
Hi, Grandpa.
Dad.
Eric.
You look good.
How was your flight?
Oh, Annie.
Hi, Eric!
Oh, and Mary.
Where is our Mary?
Oh, it's good
to be here.
Yeah...
Whoa!
I'm-I'm rewiring the house
onto a clapper system,
a-a-and I haven't
quite got all the kinks
worked out yet.
I'll go get that.
By kinks, she means
we never quite know
what things are going
to turn on or off
around here anymore.
Oh, Grandma,
- you brought the candy?
- Oh, the candy.
You know how
the kids love
the candy.
Pass out that candy, Ruth.
Great. Still, uh, divvying it up
according to our sizes.
That's right,
and you got the most.
If I'd seen all that hair,
I would've brought more.
Honey, I'm losing it.
Uh, Mom, Colonel,
you must be bushed.
Why don't I take you upstairs.
You can unpack, relax?
We are tired.
Oh, very tired, but I think we
can manage to get to the room.
Oh, thank you.
Oh, Annie,
we were so sorry
when we heard
about your mother.
Yes, a fine,
fine woman she was.
How's your father
holding up?
Um, he's... he's okay.
You know, it's just going
to take some time.
Ruth, let's remember to send
Annie's father some steaks.
Right.
My parents.
Steaks and candy
cure everything.
What are you waiting for?
Run. Run for your lives.
The middle girl--
wha-what's her name?
Lucy.
Lucy, yes.
You know, she talks
more than Eric does.
I cannot believe
that she went
on and on about her
knucklehead boyfriend
the entire way
from the airport.
If I get cornered
like that again,
I am going to swallow
a Rockeye anti-armor bomb
and throw myself out a window.
They sure push the envelope
on perky.
Well, we're lucky to have Annie
and Mary.
You know, our Mary has got
enough salt to make jerky.
That Annie--
she's always been a doer.
She's not afraid
to get her hands dirty.
Yeah. Well, they're
all young yet.
They sure can use our influence.
We should probably think
about coming out here
more than once a year.
Forget it.
We can't afford the candy.
So, you want to tell us how
to survive the next seven days?
All right.
Never make eye contact
with either of them.
They see that
as a challenge.
Keep moving.
Don't let 'em get a fix on you.
Three,
and most important:
Never show fear.
I've been doing this
for 16 years.
The Colonel and fear
are like shark
and blood.
He smells it. He feeds on it.
Well, then I must be
like a 12-course dinner,
because he scares
me plenty.
What's everybody doing in here?
Same thing you are.
Hi.
I'm going to the hardware store,
and I thought
maybe if you're not too tired,
you may want to join me.
We would love to.
Did you make a list?
Yeah, right here.
Good girl.
Hi. Where you guys going?
Oh, we're on our way
to the hardware
store-- I'd ask
you to come along,
but I know how much
you hate the place.
Yeah, but at least
I could spend
some time with Grandma Ruth
and the Colonel.
Oh, now, Lucy dear,
we're going to be
here for a few days.
If-if you don't
like hardware,
- there's no sense in going.
- Well, that's right.
We'll have plenty of time
to visit later.
No, really, it'll give us
a chance to talk.
Well, I'll go.
That way, you'll have
someone to talk to.
Well, come on, troops, let's go.
Well, at least I got my Viper
to think about.
What if you don't win
the rattle?
It's "raffle."
Of course I'm going to win.
How come?
'Cause I'm the kind of kid
that incredibly lucky stuff
happens to.
Oh, yeah.
It's so cute.
Cute?
The Viper is not cute.
It's cool, awesome, classic,
rad, bad
or ultimate-- it's not cute.
Got it?
Got it. Locked it up,
threw away the key.
Knock it off.
And the first time
Dad met Jimmy,
he didn't really like him,
but now I think now he does,
even though he's shy,
because some people
get weird out about that,
but that's okay,
because he talks to me
about everything.
Like, yesterday at lunch,
he was saying
how much he was worried
about his math test.
I think one piece
should do it.
Emma, those are very pretty.
I-I-I never noticed
you wearing that necklace
before.
Oh, well, I haven't had it
for very long.
I'm widowed, and my husband
never had the
money to buy me
wedding rings, so my son
gave them to me
about a month or so ago,
you know, to kind
of make up for it.
Hey, Luce, I'm sorry
about that.
Quiet. Look at the rings
on her chain.
Mom, those look exactly
like yours.
Yeah, they do.
I noticed.
You see... you see, um,
a-a couple of months ago, um,
my son Matt and I
were held up,
and the robber took
my wedding rings,
and they look very similar
to yours,
but-but they're
not quite the same.
How terrible.
You all weren't hurt, were you?
No, no, we were
just a little bit shaken up.
We'll see you, Emma.
Thanks. Take
care, Annie.
Annie... do you think
those are your rings?
I can't imagine Emma Hooten
would be wearing
my stolen wedding rings.
Have you met her son?
No.
Then you don't know
what kind of boy
he might be.
They're not mine. Really.
Thought you were going
to the hardware store.
Well, I did.
I had Annie drop me here.
I figured we ought to talk.
Uh, Dad... do you mind
putting out the cigar?
There's kind of no smoking
in the church.
Hmm. I bet God enjoys
a good cigar now and again.
Well, if, uh, if
He walks in here,
and He's smoking,
why don't you feel free
to light yours up again.
Touché.
Eric, what happened
when your sister was out here?
Is she all right?
No, Dad, she's not.
She's an alcoholic...
but she's tough, and she's
fully committed to rehab,
and she's digging herself out.
Tough people
don't become alcoholics.
All kinds of people
become alcoholics.
Well, I suppose so,
but not people
with discipline and focus.
It's a good thing you kids
never tried the service.
You wouldn't have lasted
two minutes.
Well, the service was, uh, was
never really a dream of mine.
You are a dreamer, Eric.
Always have been.
I guess that's why your kids
are dreamers.
My kids are fine.
Well, they're not fine.
You just don't see it.
That Matt's going to be
real trouble.
He's a rebel.
Little Lucy is
in desperate need
of attention and approval.
Ruthie and Simon are well
on their way
to being spoiled rotten.
It's not that
they're not good kids.
It's just
that I see the possibility
of trouble in the future.
I think I know my kids
a little better than you do.
Well, son, I'm sure
you think you do
but with five children,
you've got
to have eyes in
the back of your head.
I probably don't miss as much
as you think I do.
Really?
How many people are breathing
in this room?
Two?
Wrong.
Three.
All right, young fella,
I think you've got some
explaining to do.
What are you, a cop?
No, I'm Colonel John Camden,
United States Marine Corps,
and this is private property.
Chill out, Schwartzkopf.
Hi, there.
I'm Eric Camden, the Reverend.
Nice to meet you.
I'm George, the orphan.
I talked to my
friend, Joan Kleric,
at the orphanage
and his name
really is George,
and he really is an orphan,
and he just got returned
two weeks ago
from his twelfth
foster home.
Oh, the poor little guy.
Apparently,
George
has figured
out that, uh,
at the ripe old
age of nine,
he isn't considered
a particularly
good catch,
adoption-wise.
This is the
third time he's run away
in six months.
Boy's got guts and initiative.
But how did he wind up
in your office?
He was a part of a kids group
that Joan brought
to Sunday services.
She said, the next day
he asked a lot of questions
about me,
and that night,
he took off.
He's been
gone two weeks.
That orphanage is
over 20 miles away.
How could someone
that young manage?
He must be a tough
little thing.
Survival skills, street smarts.
He's a born Marine.
Dad, he's nine.
But I was hoping
you'd feel that way, 'cause,
well, I just was wondering
if it'd be okay with everybody
if we kept him here.
I could bring him
back Monday morning.
Is that okay?
Sure. He's as cute as can be,
and-and the kids seemed
to like him.
Mom, Dad?
Oh, absolutely.
Who would notice another kid
around here?
I think it's a crackerjack idea.
Having that homeless boy around
might make everyone appreciate
how easy they have it.
Oops.
Ah. It's a sensitive system.
It's like
part hot rod,
part Luke
Skywalker's ship.
Yeah, I know.
And pretty soon all those parts
are gonna be mine.
How are you getting
one of these?
I entered a raffle
at the mall.
So?
So, I'm like the world's
luckiest human.
It's kind of like a super power.
If I was to become a superhero,
I'd probably
call myself Luckyman.
If you decided
to become a superhero,
I'd come up with a better name.
Luckyman sounds lame.
Just go to sleep
and drop it.
Fine. Good night.
Mom and her dumb clapper system!
Good night,
Luckyman.
Just drop it.
Why are you sleeping
down here?
Mom and Dad are
staying in my room.
They're letting the Colonel
and Grandma Ruth stay
in their bedroom
so they can use Mom
and Dad's bathroom.
That way the two of them aren't
sneaking around the halls
at night-- we know
right where they are.
Can I sleep with you, Matt?
Sure, come on.
There you go.
I don't want
to be around George.
He makes
me want to cry
because he doesn't have a Mommy
and Daddy.
Well, maybe some day,
George will find the right
family.
I hope so.
You said
this would be romantic.
And I'm man enough
to admit I was wrong.
What's bothering you?
You mean other
than the fact
that I haven't gotten
along with my parents
for 40 years?
Mm. You're used to that.
You want to adopt George,
don't you?
No.
We can't really
afford another child.
He's bound to have some
emotional problems.
We'd-we'd have to give
it a lot of thought
before making
that commitment.
So you want him?
I don't know.
We did always say
we'd adopt after Mary.
Mm. Then after Lucy.
Then after Simon.
And now it's after Ruthie.
But we'd be crazy to
even consider it...
I guess.
Right?
We are crazy.
We'll talk to the kids
and George...
tomorrow.
I can't.
My parents are right
down the hall.
It's just...
And you are what, 12?
When they're
here, yes.
My God, you're still as gorgeous
as you were 43
years ago, when they
carried me into that
medevac unit in Korea.
I never thought I'd be happy
to have a bullet in the spleen
or a lung-full of mustard gas,
but there you were.
You ready to play?
Am I ready to play?
Come here.
The name of the game
is Five Card Draw.
I thought
they were all asleep.
Come.
I can't sleep.
Want to deal me in?
Get your wallet
and close the door.
Now listen, George,
you can fool my son
with this Huckleberry
Finn act of yours,
but that doesn't
fly up here.
It's time you
came clean.
Oh, come on,
Colonel.
He's just a youngster, remember?
Let Grandma Ruth try.
Okay, spill your guts,
flimflam boy.
You saw my son
as an easy target
from the start.
I bet they're talking about
adopting you right now,
thinking it's their idea.
You're a cagey little rascal,
aren't you?
A man's gotta do
what a man's gotta do.
I met the Reverend,
tracked him down
and he took the bait.
I see, and what do you think,
now that you've scoped
the place out?
Truth?
I didn't know these
reverend guys could marry.
I was sort of hoping
to be the only child.
So, Colonel Camden,
you ever seen any real action
or are you just a pencil pusher?
Real action?!
Son, let me tell you
about a little dance
called the Korean War.
I hope this is about getting
George back to the orphanage
as soon as possible.
The kid's starting
to get on my nerves.
What's up?
Well, we're thinking
that maybe George
shouldn't go back
to the orphanage.
Like ever.
Excuse me?
We're going
to adopt him?
Well, that's
what we wanted
to talk to
you guys about.
Your dad and I
want to adopt him.
He needs a home.
And his chances
of finding one
are about as good
as Simon's are of
winning that car.
Not amusing, Dad.
Do you really think
he'll get enough
quality time here?
Can we afford him?
I mean, it's a
lot to take on.
Let me just say
what the rest of
us are thinking.
This is a seriously
un-great idea.
Wow.
We were sort of hoping
you'd be a little
more enthusiastic.
Yeah, but at this point,
we'll take
"vaguely interested."
I'm vaguely interested.
Well, that's...
Oh, hi.
Get some breakfast
before the herd gets back.
Where is everybody?
Outside.
Family meeting.
What's going on?
It's probably about me.
You know,
the big adoption meeting.
Well, whatever happens,
it'll all work out.
You're a fine,
decent boy.
You bet.
Hey, if this family takes me,
I'll count my blessings
and be a man about it.
Eric and Annie should not
be adopting that boy.
Oh, they won't, dear.
And if they do, they'll be in
for the fight of their lives.
So where were you
for "All opposed?"
Oh, yeah, like I want to be
on record for saying:
"Sorry, Mom and Dad,
but I vote
"the little orphan kid
that you want to adopt
should be thrown out
in the street."
Besides, it's going
to take a lot of time
and attention
to get George adjusted.
I mean, Ruthie'll be jealous,
so Mom and Dad'll have to give
her lots of time and attention.
Simon doesn't even like George,
so it's gonna take a lot
of time and attention
to get them bonded.
And Lucy will be
freaking out about
her quality time thing,
so Mom or Dad'll
have to give her
extra time and attention, too.
That'll pretty much
tap them out.
Oh, leaving us time
and attention free.
Feel like doing
anything... different?
Like learning
how to drive?
Give me a break, I don't even
have a learner's permit.
See, that's something
somebody would notice
only if they were
paying attention.
Come on,
we'll take it up
to the church and back.
Let the games begin.
Deal. I'm in.
Thanks, you know,
for everything.
I guess you're not
interested in our
opinion about this.
Oh, we're always interested
in your opinion, Colonel--
because you're here
and stuff.
I... I don't know
why you'd have an
opinion about this.
This adoption doesn't have
anything to do with you.
Well, that's...
that's not quite right--
it does mean that once a year,
you'll have to bring an extra
bag of candy out with you.
What the hell does that mean?
It means that we...
Annie and I,
are going to...
raise and take responsibility
for George.
It means we're
going to...
guide him,
and protect him and love him,
so I don't see
where your opinion fits
into any of this.
Oh, that's wonderful--
you're dreaming again.
Who's gonna pay
for the kid?
The adoption,
the court costs?
And let's not even get
into how you're going
to send him to college,
or any of your other
five, for that matter.
They'll get to college
the same way I did, Dad--
they'll get jobs.
You still resent me
for not paying your way.
Still resent you.
I never resented
you for that.
Yes, you did then,
and you still do.
But you and your sister
needed to learn
that you have to work to get
the things that are important.
I know that, Dad. I get it.
Yes, you get it,
because I taught you the value
of hard work and discipline.
And I'm happy
to credit you accordingly.
We just thought
you might already
have your hands full.
And if you have
a problem
with candy, you should've
said something years ago.
I should've said
a lot of things years ago.
You know, if I feel like
going out for a drive,
I take a real car.
By the time
I was Ruthie's age,
one of my foster brothers
had already taught me
how to hot-wire a car.
Were you supposed
to teach me this?
Is this something
I should know?
No. He doesn't know, either.
Do, too. Foreign or domestic.
Just tell me,
I'm behind, aren't I?
No, you're not.
I don't believe you.
Oh, the kid sitting
in the cardboard box
with his little sister
doesn't believe me.
Boo-hoo.
Why don't you
prove it?
I'm sorry...
for bugging you guys yesterday
at the hardware store.
It's just that...
I... well...
What?
I... I'm really glad
you're here.
I wish I knew what
she wanted from us.
Oh, uh, we wondered
if we might borrow a car.
I need to pick up some things
at the hardware store.
I-I'd be happy
to take you.
I appreciate
the offer, Annie.
I'd, uh, just prefer
to drive myself, always have.
To tell you the truth,
we'd just like to get out
on our own for awhile.
Well, the keys are on
the hook by the back door.
Take the wagon,
it has a full tank.
Thanks. Shouldn't be long.
Take your time.
He drives like he's leading
the last convoy out of Saigon.
Honey, he did lead the
last convoy out of Saigon.
Yeah, but I didn't have to pay
the insurance on his tank.
If you want me to tell
Mom and Dad, I will.
That's okay,
I parked the van
so close to the wall
they'll never see it.
So you don't think they'll
notice the scratch?
Hopefully, they'll
be paying attention
to other things.
By the way, you are
an extremely bad driver.
Were your eyes open
at any point
during the trip?
Oh, please.
Our van is huge,
and that guy's mailbox
was practically
in the middle of the street.
We're headed out.
Can we drop you somewhere?
Uh, like maybe at the barber?
Oh, uh, no, thanks.
See, I just got my hair cut
a couple of days ago
so I'd look great
for your arrival.
Oh, that is pretty, yes.
Next time, have the guy
use scissors.
Hey, Luce, I'm going
to the grocery store.
You want to keep
me company?
Or tell me what's going on?
Nothing. It's stupid.
I'll bet it isn't.
It's just that
I'm trying so hard
to get close to the Colonel
and Grandma Ruth,
and it's not working,
and the reason
it's not working
is because they don't like me.
That's not true.
They love you very much.
The Colonel would throw himself
in front of a moving car
for you.
The Colonel would throw himself
in front of a moving car
for fun.
Yeah, probably.
Look, they have their own way
of doing things.
They just don't express
themselves like...
Normal people?
Or like anyone we've met.
But Grandma Ruth is
the only grandma I have left.
I know.
Baby.
It's okay.
I'm glad you're getting
your rings back.
What?
That's why they went
to the hardware store, isn't it?
To get your rings back
from that woman?
Oh, no.
What have I done?
Eric!
Eric!
What? What?
Are you okay?
Your parents have gone
to get my rings back.
What rings?
My wedding rings-- the clerk
at the hardware store
was wearing
my wedding rings
on a necklace,
but I wasn't sure at all
they were mine,
but your
parents saw it.
And with our car,
you've made them mobile.
You were saying?
How do I look?
Like you're
in big trouble.
Get out of the car. Now!
We weren't doing
anything.
It looks like you
were playing in the car.
Don't worry.
He wasn't gonna go anywhere,
he was just gonna start it.
What?
Don't help me anymore.
It wasn't his fault.
It was my idea.
Maybe you should just
send me back to the orphanage.
You know the kid might be right.
It's time for
a little tough love here.
Simon, zip it--
the three of you, upstairs.
Now! Come on.
By "the three of you,"
he means you, too.
I can count.
I can't hot-wire,
but I can count.
We'll deal with them
when I get back
with my parents.
Anybody want to ride along?
Eh, chickens.
You wouldn't happen
to have seen
an incredibly intimidating man
with white hair
and a tall arrogant woman
with perfect posture, have you?
No, not yet.
And I would remember.
My husband died recently,
and I find myself
noticing couples a lot.
I know, weird.
No, it's not weird at all.
I'm very sorry for your loss.
This is a little awkward.
Uh...
my wife told me that...
those rings were a gift
from your son, but...
they look an awful lot
like the ones that
I gave her 18 years ago, and...
I-I'd be willing to pay you
for them or replace them.
Well, I-I appreciate
your situation,
but your wife said
they weren't hers.
And these mean
a lot to me.
I'm not letting go of them.
I've lost enough.
I'm sorry.
All right, thank you.
I'm sorry we just
dropped in on you,
but we're only in town
a few days
and there's a lot
of ground to cover.
Oh, I'm thrilled
that you're here.
George needs a strong father,
and, you know, adoptions
between older children
and older couples
are often the best matches.
Well, we...
we flirted with adoption
in the past,
but it was just never
the right time.
Well, I hope this time it is.
It was easy enough to arrange
for a social worker
to meet with you
once you get back
to New York.
But, of course, a lot of things
are easier--
when the governor calls ahead.
Well, he and I
went through basic together
back when we were just pups.
He could take out the enemy
with a rolled up newspaper.
Lovely man.
Oh, I wish
I could be there when
you break the news to everyone.
Oh, yes, yes.
It'll be something, all right.
Well, hope for the best,
prepare for the worst.
We're going to war.
Oh, well...
Ah, sorry to be so long.
The day just
got away from us.
Sorry we didn't call
about dinner, but
I hope it's not too
late for dessert.
Oh, with this group, it's
never too late-- you didn't
have to do this.
Where have you been
all day?
Well, if you must know,
we paid a visit
to George's social worker.
Your father and I have
talked about this.
We have decided
to adopt George.
Uh... let's talk
about this calmly
and rationally.
There's nothing rational
about this.
Well, let's start with calmly
and take it from there.
George is not
your average kid--
he's had a tough life.
The adoption
itself is
gonna be hard on him--
he's gonna need
a lot of love and support.
You have a corner
on that market?
No, of course not,
but support of any kind
is not one of your strong suits.
That's not true.
You two ever remember
holding me or Julie
when we were upset?
Did you ever allow us
to express any of our feelings?
If you're asking me
if we wiped your noses
and held your hands,
the answer is no.
No, we didn't have time,
because we were too busy
keeping a roof over your heads
and food on the table.
Well, there's more to
parenting than that.
Oh, and what
does that mean?
It means that you
are not the parents
for George.
I love you,
and I love this family,
but you and this family
are not the best match
for George.
George needs structure
and discipline.
Oh, yes, and love and support,
and I'm sorry
if you think
your mother and I
didn't give you
enough of that.
But let me tell you this:
as bad a father
as you think I was,
I never, never would've
stuck with a decision
that would upend
my family and deny
a nice little
human being
what was best for him,
and all of that out of spite!
Not letting you adopt George
has nothing to do with spite.
Are you sure about that?!
I'm going to go for a walk.
I suppose you agree
with Eric.
Only when he's right.
Okay, okay,
let me have it.
Are you sure?
Absolutely.
I don't cry easily.
Well, apparently,
that's part of the problem.
Just give it to me straight.
You're not terribly supportive
and it shows
in a lot of hurtful ways.
That's straight.
You're a little distant
and a little opinionated
and some of your jokes
are cruel.
You and the Colonel
are formidable.
And you are awfully tough
on people.
The Colonel would say
only the weak see us as tough.
Well, the Colonel
would be wrong.
Besides, most people are weaker
than you two.
Patton was weaker than you two.
No, no, too late.
Don't try and kiss up now.
Oh, Annie, Annie,
thank you for being so honest
with me.
Don't thank me yet.
I need your help with something.
Anything.
It's just that
Lucy was really hoping
to connect with you.
You see, with...
with my mother gone,
you're the only grandmother
she has.
She really misses my mom,
so I thought
if she could just connect
with you
maybe she'd feel
a little less lonely.
I'll see what I can do.
Even if you win
the Viper,
Mom and Dad will
never let you sit in it.
Not if I win,
when I win.
I'm lucky, remember?
If you're so lucky,
how come we can
only leave this room
to go to the bathroom?
Because George is a jinx.
Well, you better get used to it
because he's going to be around
for a long, long time.
And so it begins.
What are you doing?
We move out first thing
in the morning.
Then take me with you. Please!
George, that's enough.
You're lucky to be living here
and I won't stand
for any whining about it.
Why can't you adopt me?
I'll be good.
I'll stay out
of your way.
You won't even know I'm there.
George, listen to me.
Eric is smart about things
like this.
He knows what's right,
He's a good man, a smart man
and if you're,
if you're lucky
you'll grow up
to be like him.
Anyway, why would you want
to live with a couple
of old warhorses
like us?
You've got a whole houseful
of great kids right here.
They're all dreamers.
There's nothing wrong
with a little dreaming.
No. It's time you settled down
and started some dreaming
of your own.
I already did.
My dream
was to be with you.
I want you to be a good boy
and I want you
to stay out of trouble.
And that's an order.
Yes, sir.
Excuse me.
You just scared
me to death!
I'm sorry.
I know what that's like.
My mom and I were robbed once.
Some guy put a gun
to my head
and took everything we had,
including
my mom's wedding rings.
Those rings.
I was too afraid to do anything
at the time.
Well, it sounds like
you had good reason
to be scared.
Yeah, maybe.
But it changed the way
I looked at things, you know?
Mostly at myself.
I'd like to have
the old me back.
I don't know
if that's ever going to happen,
but I sure would like my mom
to have her wedding rings back.
I'll leave you,
so you two can talk.
Actually,
I had something
I wanted to show you.
Really?
Uh-huh.
You know,
your relationship
with Jimmy Moon reminded me
of something.
What's that?
This is the first
love letter
the Colonel
ever wrote to me.
I keep it in my wallet.
After spending time together,
I can tell you are a person
who appreciates great passion.
"My dearest Poochie Check"?
I wasn't crazy
about that name either,
but Poochie Check was the dog
in the Colonel's favorite
comic strip.
I used to cut it out and
send it to him every day.
Just see that it gets back
to me in the morning.
And don't you tell the Colonel
I showed you that.
Okay. Thank you.
Poochie Check?
Oh, hi, Matt.
Did we wake you?
Oh, nah.
I would've stopped
sleeping eventually.
Solve the problems
of the world yet?
Uh, no,
but it's still early.
Oh. Thanks.
You know, I was thinking,
remember that night
that guy robbed us?
Very well.
Well, now you can let it go.
I'm going to.
Oh...
Sorry you gotta go.
I know.
We plan to come back more often.
We want to see you play
in that basketball game.
Thanks for sharing.
Hey, thanks
for the candy.
Ditto!
Oh, anytime,
anytime.
Now listen, you.
No boys and no cars
for at least another ten years.
Amen!
Then what?
Uh, we'll, uh, we'll talk again.
Good plan.
The cab's here.
Dad, hang on.
You forgot these.
It's George's adoption papers.
We were up all night
talking about it
and your names should go
on them.
Well, the last I heard,
you thought we weren't
fit parents for fish.
Only some fish.
You're the family
George wants...
and needs.
You mean...?
Yes, George, after waiting
all this time for a family,
we think you deserve
to be with the people
that you want
to be with.
Oh, Annie, thank you.
Life doesn't give you
many chances
to go back and do things again.
And maybe do them better.
I know.
And I know you did
the best you could.
Whatever problems that
my sister and I
may have
had, we also had parents
who, uh...
who took care of us
and worked hard for us and...
God, after 18 years and five,
almost six kids,
I know that's no small potatoes.
You're quite a man, Reverend.
So are you, Colonel.
We haven't done so well
with the father-son deal.
Should we just try... friends?
Yeah, it sounds good.
Oh!
Okay, George,
you ready to roll?
We gotta get you home.
Yes, sir.
Home sounds good.
Yeah.
I'll get that.
Hi.
Excuse me.
I'm from the
raffle committee,
here to present
a brand-new Viper
to a Mr. Simon Camden.
Aka Luckyman.
You've got
to be kidding.
I've been expecting you.
What?! You won the Viper?!
Yes.
We have to check this out.
You didn't get enough
yesterday, huh?
You owe the guy
down the street an apology
and 50 bucks
for their broken mailbox.
We'll talk about the scratch
on the van,
and driving
without a permit
and how your lives are going
to change dramatically
because of restrictions,
but, uh...
later,
when there are no witnesses.
Mr. Camden,
Simon, unless
I'm mistaken,
you're not 18 yet...
No.
...which makes
you ineligible
to keep this car.
I know.
I just wanted to win it
and give my supernatural luck
a workout.
Don't worry.
I only use my powers for good.
The kid wins a raffle,
now he's got super powers.
And who am I to argue?
Is the scary guy
still looking at me?
Ruth, George-- son--
...time to step it up
and move it out.
Love you forever.
I love you.
We'll be back soon.
Wait, wait, here we are.
Would it be okay
if my dad just took me
for a ride around the block?
Uh, whatever the boy wants.
Fine-looking boy, too.
Ooh, a Viper!
There's a lot of horses
under that hood.
Maybe I should drive him.
Whose parents
were just here
for three days?
Oh, all right.
Have fun.
You know, I can't believe
that in six years
I'm gonna have to teach you
how to drive.
Yeah, and in seven,
you can teach your brother.
Huh?
Well, George is your brother
now, right?
Well, now that you mention it,
I... I guess he is.
Poor George.
grandma and grandpa,
why do we have to call him
"Colonel"?
The flight zone
is for the immediate loading...
That's because your grandpa
was a soldier,
and he is very proud of it,
so we call him "Colonel"
out of respect.
- I thought it was out of fear.
- It is for me.
I'm scared of
both of them.
I don't know why
we all have to come pick 'em up,
especially on the one Friday
we all have off from school.
I mean, they only like Mom
and Mary, anyway.
We all pick them up
because that's
what we always do.
That's what they like...
and your father
won't do it alone.
- Bingo.
- But they're his parents.
Why can't we go inside?
Because they
don't like any big
emotional gatherings.
Hey, do you think
they'll bring the candy?
I hate the candy.
Me, too-- it's as
hard as a rock,
and it doesn't
even taste good.
I don't think anyone's ever
finished a whole piece of it.
Let me set your minds at ease.
Yes, they're going to bring
the candy.
They always bring the candy.
They think we love
the candy,
and we're going to keep
letting them think that.
Otherwise, they'll start
bringing something we like less.
Now, look, Grandma Ruth
and the Colonel love us.
They love to visit us,
and we are going to be
just as thrilled to see them
as they are to see us.
I bet they all came.
Of course they all came.
All seven of 'em.
They travel in a pack,
like wolves.
Have you got the candy?
No, I checked it
with the luggage.
It's too heavy
to carry.
I don't know why
they love it so much.
It's ugly, and it
tastes terrible.
I know, and they go on
about it
like they've never seen
candy before.
Those kids go on
about everything.
Oh, you see 'em
over there?
Would you look
at those teeth?
How can they have
such good teeth
when they eat all that candy?
They're here.
They've spotted us.
Oh, hi!
All right.
All right, time
to paste on the smiles.
Hey, you made it.
Hi, Grandpa.
Dad.
Eric.
You look good.
How was your flight?
Oh, Annie.
Hi, Eric!
Oh, and Mary.
Where is our Mary?
Oh, it's good
to be here.
Yeah...
Whoa!
I'm-I'm rewiring the house
onto a clapper system,
a-a-and I haven't
quite got all the kinks
worked out yet.
I'll go get that.
By kinks, she means
we never quite know
what things are going
to turn on or off
around here anymore.
Oh, Grandma,
- you brought the candy?
- Oh, the candy.
You know how
the kids love
the candy.
Pass out that candy, Ruth.
Great. Still, uh, divvying it up
according to our sizes.
That's right,
and you got the most.
If I'd seen all that hair,
I would've brought more.
Honey, I'm losing it.
Uh, Mom, Colonel,
you must be bushed.
Why don't I take you upstairs.
You can unpack, relax?
We are tired.
Oh, very tired, but I think we
can manage to get to the room.
Oh, thank you.
Oh, Annie,
we were so sorry
when we heard
about your mother.
Yes, a fine,
fine woman she was.
How's your father
holding up?
Um, he's... he's okay.
You know, it's just going
to take some time.
Ruth, let's remember to send
Annie's father some steaks.
Right.
My parents.
Steaks and candy
cure everything.
What are you waiting for?
Run. Run for your lives.
The middle girl--
wha-what's her name?
Lucy.
Lucy, yes.
You know, she talks
more than Eric does.
I cannot believe
that she went
on and on about her
knucklehead boyfriend
the entire way
from the airport.
If I get cornered
like that again,
I am going to swallow
a Rockeye anti-armor bomb
and throw myself out a window.
They sure push the envelope
on perky.
Well, we're lucky to have Annie
and Mary.
You know, our Mary has got
enough salt to make jerky.
That Annie--
she's always been a doer.
She's not afraid
to get her hands dirty.
Yeah. Well, they're
all young yet.
They sure can use our influence.
We should probably think
about coming out here
more than once a year.
Forget it.
We can't afford the candy.
So, you want to tell us how
to survive the next seven days?
All right.
Never make eye contact
with either of them.
They see that
as a challenge.
Keep moving.
Don't let 'em get a fix on you.
Three,
and most important:
Never show fear.
I've been doing this
for 16 years.
The Colonel and fear
are like shark
and blood.
He smells it. He feeds on it.
Well, then I must be
like a 12-course dinner,
because he scares
me plenty.
What's everybody doing in here?
Same thing you are.
Hi.
I'm going to the hardware store,
and I thought
maybe if you're not too tired,
you may want to join me.
We would love to.
Did you make a list?
Yeah, right here.
Good girl.
Hi. Where you guys going?
Oh, we're on our way
to the hardware
store-- I'd ask
you to come along,
but I know how much
you hate the place.
Yeah, but at least
I could spend
some time with Grandma Ruth
and the Colonel.
Oh, now, Lucy dear,
we're going to be
here for a few days.
If-if you don't
like hardware,
- there's no sense in going.
- Well, that's right.
We'll have plenty of time
to visit later.
No, really, it'll give us
a chance to talk.
Well, I'll go.
That way, you'll have
someone to talk to.
Well, come on, troops, let's go.
Well, at least I got my Viper
to think about.
What if you don't win
the rattle?
It's "raffle."
Of course I'm going to win.
How come?
'Cause I'm the kind of kid
that incredibly lucky stuff
happens to.
Oh, yeah.
It's so cute.
Cute?
The Viper is not cute.
It's cool, awesome, classic,
rad, bad
or ultimate-- it's not cute.
Got it?
Got it. Locked it up,
threw away the key.
Knock it off.
And the first time
Dad met Jimmy,
he didn't really like him,
but now I think now he does,
even though he's shy,
because some people
get weird out about that,
but that's okay,
because he talks to me
about everything.
Like, yesterday at lunch,
he was saying
how much he was worried
about his math test.
I think one piece
should do it.
Emma, those are very pretty.
I-I-I never noticed
you wearing that necklace
before.
Oh, well, I haven't had it
for very long.
I'm widowed, and my husband
never had the
money to buy me
wedding rings, so my son
gave them to me
about a month or so ago,
you know, to kind
of make up for it.
Hey, Luce, I'm sorry
about that.
Quiet. Look at the rings
on her chain.
Mom, those look exactly
like yours.
Yeah, they do.
I noticed.
You see... you see, um,
a-a couple of months ago, um,
my son Matt and I
were held up,
and the robber took
my wedding rings,
and they look very similar
to yours,
but-but they're
not quite the same.
How terrible.
You all weren't hurt, were you?
No, no, we were
just a little bit shaken up.
We'll see you, Emma.
Thanks. Take
care, Annie.
Annie... do you think
those are your rings?
I can't imagine Emma Hooten
would be wearing
my stolen wedding rings.
Have you met her son?
No.
Then you don't know
what kind of boy
he might be.
They're not mine. Really.
Thought you were going
to the hardware store.
Well, I did.
I had Annie drop me here.
I figured we ought to talk.
Uh, Dad... do you mind
putting out the cigar?
There's kind of no smoking
in the church.
Hmm. I bet God enjoys
a good cigar now and again.
Well, if, uh, if
He walks in here,
and He's smoking,
why don't you feel free
to light yours up again.
Touché.
Eric, what happened
when your sister was out here?
Is she all right?
No, Dad, she's not.
She's an alcoholic...
but she's tough, and she's
fully committed to rehab,
and she's digging herself out.
Tough people
don't become alcoholics.
All kinds of people
become alcoholics.
Well, I suppose so,
but not people
with discipline and focus.
It's a good thing you kids
never tried the service.
You wouldn't have lasted
two minutes.
Well, the service was, uh, was
never really a dream of mine.
You are a dreamer, Eric.
Always have been.
I guess that's why your kids
are dreamers.
My kids are fine.
Well, they're not fine.
You just don't see it.
That Matt's going to be
real trouble.
He's a rebel.
Little Lucy is
in desperate need
of attention and approval.
Ruthie and Simon are well
on their way
to being spoiled rotten.
It's not that
they're not good kids.
It's just
that I see the possibility
of trouble in the future.
I think I know my kids
a little better than you do.
Well, son, I'm sure
you think you do
but with five children,
you've got
to have eyes in
the back of your head.
I probably don't miss as much
as you think I do.
Really?
How many people are breathing
in this room?
Two?
Wrong.
Three.
All right, young fella,
I think you've got some
explaining to do.
What are you, a cop?
No, I'm Colonel John Camden,
United States Marine Corps,
and this is private property.
Chill out, Schwartzkopf.
Hi, there.
I'm Eric Camden, the Reverend.
Nice to meet you.
I'm George, the orphan.
I talked to my
friend, Joan Kleric,
at the orphanage
and his name
really is George,
and he really is an orphan,
and he just got returned
two weeks ago
from his twelfth
foster home.
Oh, the poor little guy.
Apparently,
George
has figured
out that, uh,
at the ripe old
age of nine,
he isn't considered
a particularly
good catch,
adoption-wise.
This is the
third time he's run away
in six months.
Boy's got guts and initiative.
But how did he wind up
in your office?
He was a part of a kids group
that Joan brought
to Sunday services.
She said, the next day
he asked a lot of questions
about me,
and that night,
he took off.
He's been
gone two weeks.
That orphanage is
over 20 miles away.
How could someone
that young manage?
He must be a tough
little thing.
Survival skills, street smarts.
He's a born Marine.
Dad, he's nine.
But I was hoping
you'd feel that way, 'cause,
well, I just was wondering
if it'd be okay with everybody
if we kept him here.
I could bring him
back Monday morning.
Is that okay?
Sure. He's as cute as can be,
and-and the kids seemed
to like him.
Mom, Dad?
Oh, absolutely.
Who would notice another kid
around here?
I think it's a crackerjack idea.
Having that homeless boy around
might make everyone appreciate
how easy they have it.
Oops.
Ah. It's a sensitive system.
It's like
part hot rod,
part Luke
Skywalker's ship.
Yeah, I know.
And pretty soon all those parts
are gonna be mine.
How are you getting
one of these?
I entered a raffle
at the mall.
So?
So, I'm like the world's
luckiest human.
It's kind of like a super power.
If I was to become a superhero,
I'd probably
call myself Luckyman.
If you decided
to become a superhero,
I'd come up with a better name.
Luckyman sounds lame.
Just go to sleep
and drop it.
Fine. Good night.
Mom and her dumb clapper system!
Good night,
Luckyman.
Just drop it.
Why are you sleeping
down here?
Mom and Dad are
staying in my room.
They're letting the Colonel
and Grandma Ruth stay
in their bedroom
so they can use Mom
and Dad's bathroom.
That way the two of them aren't
sneaking around the halls
at night-- we know
right where they are.
Can I sleep with you, Matt?
Sure, come on.
There you go.
I don't want
to be around George.
He makes
me want to cry
because he doesn't have a Mommy
and Daddy.
Well, maybe some day,
George will find the right
family.
I hope so.
You said
this would be romantic.
And I'm man enough
to admit I was wrong.
What's bothering you?
You mean other
than the fact
that I haven't gotten
along with my parents
for 40 years?
Mm. You're used to that.
You want to adopt George,
don't you?
No.
We can't really
afford another child.
He's bound to have some
emotional problems.
We'd-we'd have to give
it a lot of thought
before making
that commitment.
So you want him?
I don't know.
We did always say
we'd adopt after Mary.
Mm. Then after Lucy.
Then after Simon.
And now it's after Ruthie.
But we'd be crazy to
even consider it...
I guess.
Right?
We are crazy.
We'll talk to the kids
and George...
tomorrow.
I can't.
My parents are right
down the hall.
It's just...
And you are what, 12?
When they're
here, yes.
My God, you're still as gorgeous
as you were 43
years ago, when they
carried me into that
medevac unit in Korea.
I never thought I'd be happy
to have a bullet in the spleen
or a lung-full of mustard gas,
but there you were.
You ready to play?
Am I ready to play?
Come here.
The name of the game
is Five Card Draw.
I thought
they were all asleep.
Come.
I can't sleep.
Want to deal me in?
Get your wallet
and close the door.
Now listen, George,
you can fool my son
with this Huckleberry
Finn act of yours,
but that doesn't
fly up here.
It's time you
came clean.
Oh, come on,
Colonel.
He's just a youngster, remember?
Let Grandma Ruth try.
Okay, spill your guts,
flimflam boy.
You saw my son
as an easy target
from the start.
I bet they're talking about
adopting you right now,
thinking it's their idea.
You're a cagey little rascal,
aren't you?
A man's gotta do
what a man's gotta do.
I met the Reverend,
tracked him down
and he took the bait.
I see, and what do you think,
now that you've scoped
the place out?
Truth?
I didn't know these
reverend guys could marry.
I was sort of hoping
to be the only child.
So, Colonel Camden,
you ever seen any real action
or are you just a pencil pusher?
Real action?!
Son, let me tell you
about a little dance
called the Korean War.
I hope this is about getting
George back to the orphanage
as soon as possible.
The kid's starting
to get on my nerves.
What's up?
Well, we're thinking
that maybe George
shouldn't go back
to the orphanage.
Like ever.
Excuse me?
We're going
to adopt him?
Well, that's
what we wanted
to talk to
you guys about.
Your dad and I
want to adopt him.
He needs a home.
And his chances
of finding one
are about as good
as Simon's are of
winning that car.
Not amusing, Dad.
Do you really think
he'll get enough
quality time here?
Can we afford him?
I mean, it's a
lot to take on.
Let me just say
what the rest of
us are thinking.
This is a seriously
un-great idea.
Wow.
We were sort of hoping
you'd be a little
more enthusiastic.
Yeah, but at this point,
we'll take
"vaguely interested."
I'm vaguely interested.
Well, that's...
Oh, hi.
Get some breakfast
before the herd gets back.
Where is everybody?
Outside.
Family meeting.
What's going on?
It's probably about me.
You know,
the big adoption meeting.
Well, whatever happens,
it'll all work out.
You're a fine,
decent boy.
You bet.
Hey, if this family takes me,
I'll count my blessings
and be a man about it.
Eric and Annie should not
be adopting that boy.
Oh, they won't, dear.
And if they do, they'll be in
for the fight of their lives.
So where were you
for "All opposed?"
Oh, yeah, like I want to be
on record for saying:
"Sorry, Mom and Dad,
but I vote
"the little orphan kid
that you want to adopt
should be thrown out
in the street."
Besides, it's going
to take a lot of time
and attention
to get George adjusted.
I mean, Ruthie'll be jealous,
so Mom and Dad'll have to give
her lots of time and attention.
Simon doesn't even like George,
so it's gonna take a lot
of time and attention
to get them bonded.
And Lucy will be
freaking out about
her quality time thing,
so Mom or Dad'll
have to give her
extra time and attention, too.
That'll pretty much
tap them out.
Oh, leaving us time
and attention free.
Feel like doing
anything... different?
Like learning
how to drive?
Give me a break, I don't even
have a learner's permit.
See, that's something
somebody would notice
only if they were
paying attention.
Come on,
we'll take it up
to the church and back.
Let the games begin.
Deal. I'm in.
Thanks, you know,
for everything.
I guess you're not
interested in our
opinion about this.
Oh, we're always interested
in your opinion, Colonel--
because you're here
and stuff.
I... I don't know
why you'd have an
opinion about this.
This adoption doesn't have
anything to do with you.
Well, that's...
that's not quite right--
it does mean that once a year,
you'll have to bring an extra
bag of candy out with you.
What the hell does that mean?
It means that we...
Annie and I,
are going to...
raise and take responsibility
for George.
It means we're
going to...
guide him,
and protect him and love him,
so I don't see
where your opinion fits
into any of this.
Oh, that's wonderful--
you're dreaming again.
Who's gonna pay
for the kid?
The adoption,
the court costs?
And let's not even get
into how you're going
to send him to college,
or any of your other
five, for that matter.
They'll get to college
the same way I did, Dad--
they'll get jobs.
You still resent me
for not paying your way.
Still resent you.
I never resented
you for that.
Yes, you did then,
and you still do.
But you and your sister
needed to learn
that you have to work to get
the things that are important.
I know that, Dad. I get it.
Yes, you get it,
because I taught you the value
of hard work and discipline.
And I'm happy
to credit you accordingly.
We just thought
you might already
have your hands full.
And if you have
a problem
with candy, you should've
said something years ago.
I should've said
a lot of things years ago.
You know, if I feel like
going out for a drive,
I take a real car.
By the time
I was Ruthie's age,
one of my foster brothers
had already taught me
how to hot-wire a car.
Were you supposed
to teach me this?
Is this something
I should know?
No. He doesn't know, either.
Do, too. Foreign or domestic.
Just tell me,
I'm behind, aren't I?
No, you're not.
I don't believe you.
Oh, the kid sitting
in the cardboard box
with his little sister
doesn't believe me.
Boo-hoo.
Why don't you
prove it?
I'm sorry...
for bugging you guys yesterday
at the hardware store.
It's just that...
I... well...
What?
I... I'm really glad
you're here.
I wish I knew what
she wanted from us.
Oh, uh, we wondered
if we might borrow a car.
I need to pick up some things
at the hardware store.
I-I'd be happy
to take you.
I appreciate
the offer, Annie.
I'd, uh, just prefer
to drive myself, always have.
To tell you the truth,
we'd just like to get out
on our own for awhile.
Well, the keys are on
the hook by the back door.
Take the wagon,
it has a full tank.
Thanks. Shouldn't be long.
Take your time.
He drives like he's leading
the last convoy out of Saigon.
Honey, he did lead the
last convoy out of Saigon.
Yeah, but I didn't have to pay
the insurance on his tank.
If you want me to tell
Mom and Dad, I will.
That's okay,
I parked the van
so close to the wall
they'll never see it.
So you don't think they'll
notice the scratch?
Hopefully, they'll
be paying attention
to other things.
By the way, you are
an extremely bad driver.
Were your eyes open
at any point
during the trip?
Oh, please.
Our van is huge,
and that guy's mailbox
was practically
in the middle of the street.
We're headed out.
Can we drop you somewhere?
Uh, like maybe at the barber?
Oh, uh, no, thanks.
See, I just got my hair cut
a couple of days ago
so I'd look great
for your arrival.
Oh, that is pretty, yes.
Next time, have the guy
use scissors.
Hey, Luce, I'm going
to the grocery store.
You want to keep
me company?
Or tell me what's going on?
Nothing. It's stupid.
I'll bet it isn't.
It's just that
I'm trying so hard
to get close to the Colonel
and Grandma Ruth,
and it's not working,
and the reason
it's not working
is because they don't like me.
That's not true.
They love you very much.
The Colonel would throw himself
in front of a moving car
for you.
The Colonel would throw himself
in front of a moving car
for fun.
Yeah, probably.
Look, they have their own way
of doing things.
They just don't express
themselves like...
Normal people?
Or like anyone we've met.
But Grandma Ruth is
the only grandma I have left.
I know.
Baby.
It's okay.
I'm glad you're getting
your rings back.
What?
That's why they went
to the hardware store, isn't it?
To get your rings back
from that woman?
Oh, no.
What have I done?
Eric!
Eric!
What? What?
Are you okay?
Your parents have gone
to get my rings back.
What rings?
My wedding rings-- the clerk
at the hardware store
was wearing
my wedding rings
on a necklace,
but I wasn't sure at all
they were mine,
but your
parents saw it.
And with our car,
you've made them mobile.
You were saying?
How do I look?
Like you're
in big trouble.
Get out of the car. Now!
We weren't doing
anything.
It looks like you
were playing in the car.
Don't worry.
He wasn't gonna go anywhere,
he was just gonna start it.
What?
Don't help me anymore.
It wasn't his fault.
It was my idea.
Maybe you should just
send me back to the orphanage.
You know the kid might be right.
It's time for
a little tough love here.
Simon, zip it--
the three of you, upstairs.
Now! Come on.
By "the three of you,"
he means you, too.
I can count.
I can't hot-wire,
but I can count.
We'll deal with them
when I get back
with my parents.
Anybody want to ride along?
Eh, chickens.
You wouldn't happen
to have seen
an incredibly intimidating man
with white hair
and a tall arrogant woman
with perfect posture, have you?
No, not yet.
And I would remember.
My husband died recently,
and I find myself
noticing couples a lot.
I know, weird.
No, it's not weird at all.
I'm very sorry for your loss.
This is a little awkward.
Uh...
my wife told me that...
those rings were a gift
from your son, but...
they look an awful lot
like the ones that
I gave her 18 years ago, and...
I-I'd be willing to pay you
for them or replace them.
Well, I-I appreciate
your situation,
but your wife said
they weren't hers.
And these mean
a lot to me.
I'm not letting go of them.
I've lost enough.
I'm sorry.
All right, thank you.
I'm sorry we just
dropped in on you,
but we're only in town
a few days
and there's a lot
of ground to cover.
Oh, I'm thrilled
that you're here.
George needs a strong father,
and, you know, adoptions
between older children
and older couples
are often the best matches.
Well, we...
we flirted with adoption
in the past,
but it was just never
the right time.
Well, I hope this time it is.
It was easy enough to arrange
for a social worker
to meet with you
once you get back
to New York.
But, of course, a lot of things
are easier--
when the governor calls ahead.
Well, he and I
went through basic together
back when we were just pups.
He could take out the enemy
with a rolled up newspaper.
Lovely man.
Oh, I wish
I could be there when
you break the news to everyone.
Oh, yes, yes.
It'll be something, all right.
Well, hope for the best,
prepare for the worst.
We're going to war.
Oh, well...
Ah, sorry to be so long.
The day just
got away from us.
Sorry we didn't call
about dinner, but
I hope it's not too
late for dessert.
Oh, with this group, it's
never too late-- you didn't
have to do this.
Where have you been
all day?
Well, if you must know,
we paid a visit
to George's social worker.
Your father and I have
talked about this.
We have decided
to adopt George.
Uh... let's talk
about this calmly
and rationally.
There's nothing rational
about this.
Well, let's start with calmly
and take it from there.
George is not
your average kid--
he's had a tough life.
The adoption
itself is
gonna be hard on him--
he's gonna need
a lot of love and support.
You have a corner
on that market?
No, of course not,
but support of any kind
is not one of your strong suits.
That's not true.
You two ever remember
holding me or Julie
when we were upset?
Did you ever allow us
to express any of our feelings?
If you're asking me
if we wiped your noses
and held your hands,
the answer is no.
No, we didn't have time,
because we were too busy
keeping a roof over your heads
and food on the table.
Well, there's more to
parenting than that.
Oh, and what
does that mean?
It means that you
are not the parents
for George.
I love you,
and I love this family,
but you and this family
are not the best match
for George.
George needs structure
and discipline.
Oh, yes, and love and support,
and I'm sorry
if you think
your mother and I
didn't give you
enough of that.
But let me tell you this:
as bad a father
as you think I was,
I never, never would've
stuck with a decision
that would upend
my family and deny
a nice little
human being
what was best for him,
and all of that out of spite!
Not letting you adopt George
has nothing to do with spite.
Are you sure about that?!
I'm going to go for a walk.
I suppose you agree
with Eric.
Only when he's right.
Okay, okay,
let me have it.
Are you sure?
Absolutely.
I don't cry easily.
Well, apparently,
that's part of the problem.
Just give it to me straight.
You're not terribly supportive
and it shows
in a lot of hurtful ways.
That's straight.
You're a little distant
and a little opinionated
and some of your jokes
are cruel.
You and the Colonel
are formidable.
And you are awfully tough
on people.
The Colonel would say
only the weak see us as tough.
Well, the Colonel
would be wrong.
Besides, most people are weaker
than you two.
Patton was weaker than you two.
No, no, too late.
Don't try and kiss up now.
Oh, Annie, Annie,
thank you for being so honest
with me.
Don't thank me yet.
I need your help with something.
Anything.
It's just that
Lucy was really hoping
to connect with you.
You see, with...
with my mother gone,
you're the only grandmother
she has.
She really misses my mom,
so I thought
if she could just connect
with you
maybe she'd feel
a little less lonely.
I'll see what I can do.
Even if you win
the Viper,
Mom and Dad will
never let you sit in it.
Not if I win,
when I win.
I'm lucky, remember?
If you're so lucky,
how come we can
only leave this room
to go to the bathroom?
Because George is a jinx.
Well, you better get used to it
because he's going to be around
for a long, long time.
And so it begins.
What are you doing?
We move out first thing
in the morning.
Then take me with you. Please!
George, that's enough.
You're lucky to be living here
and I won't stand
for any whining about it.
Why can't you adopt me?
I'll be good.
I'll stay out
of your way.
You won't even know I'm there.
George, listen to me.
Eric is smart about things
like this.
He knows what's right,
He's a good man, a smart man
and if you're,
if you're lucky
you'll grow up
to be like him.
Anyway, why would you want
to live with a couple
of old warhorses
like us?
You've got a whole houseful
of great kids right here.
They're all dreamers.
There's nothing wrong
with a little dreaming.
No. It's time you settled down
and started some dreaming
of your own.
I already did.
My dream
was to be with you.
I want you to be a good boy
and I want you
to stay out of trouble.
And that's an order.
Yes, sir.
Excuse me.
You just scared
me to death!
I'm sorry.
I know what that's like.
My mom and I were robbed once.
Some guy put a gun
to my head
and took everything we had,
including
my mom's wedding rings.
Those rings.
I was too afraid to do anything
at the time.
Well, it sounds like
you had good reason
to be scared.
Yeah, maybe.
But it changed the way
I looked at things, you know?
Mostly at myself.
I'd like to have
the old me back.
I don't know
if that's ever going to happen,
but I sure would like my mom
to have her wedding rings back.
I'll leave you,
so you two can talk.
Actually,
I had something
I wanted to show you.
Really?
Uh-huh.
You know,
your relationship
with Jimmy Moon reminded me
of something.
What's that?
This is the first
love letter
the Colonel
ever wrote to me.
I keep it in my wallet.
After spending time together,
I can tell you are a person
who appreciates great passion.
"My dearest Poochie Check"?
I wasn't crazy
about that name either,
but Poochie Check was the dog
in the Colonel's favorite
comic strip.
I used to cut it out and
send it to him every day.
Just see that it gets back
to me in the morning.
And don't you tell the Colonel
I showed you that.
Okay. Thank you.
Poochie Check?
Oh, hi, Matt.
Did we wake you?
Oh, nah.
I would've stopped
sleeping eventually.
Solve the problems
of the world yet?
Uh, no,
but it's still early.
Oh. Thanks.
You know, I was thinking,
remember that night
that guy robbed us?
Very well.
Well, now you can let it go.
I'm going to.
Oh...
Sorry you gotta go.
I know.
We plan to come back more often.
We want to see you play
in that basketball game.
Thanks for sharing.
Hey, thanks
for the candy.
Ditto!
Oh, anytime,
anytime.
Now listen, you.
No boys and no cars
for at least another ten years.
Amen!
Then what?
Uh, we'll, uh, we'll talk again.
Good plan.
The cab's here.
Dad, hang on.
You forgot these.
It's George's adoption papers.
We were up all night
talking about it
and your names should go
on them.
Well, the last I heard,
you thought we weren't
fit parents for fish.
Only some fish.
You're the family
George wants...
and needs.
You mean...?
Yes, George, after waiting
all this time for a family,
we think you deserve
to be with the people
that you want
to be with.
Oh, Annie, thank you.
Life doesn't give you
many chances
to go back and do things again.
And maybe do them better.
I know.
And I know you did
the best you could.
Whatever problems that
my sister and I
may have
had, we also had parents
who, uh...
who took care of us
and worked hard for us and...
God, after 18 years and five,
almost six kids,
I know that's no small potatoes.
You're quite a man, Reverend.
So are you, Colonel.
We haven't done so well
with the father-son deal.
Should we just try... friends?
Yeah, it sounds good.
Oh!
Okay, George,
you ready to roll?
We gotta get you home.
Yes, sir.
Home sounds good.
Yeah.
I'll get that.
Hi.
Excuse me.
I'm from the
raffle committee,
here to present
a brand-new Viper
to a Mr. Simon Camden.
Aka Luckyman.
You've got
to be kidding.
I've been expecting you.
What?! You won the Viper?!
Yes.
We have to check this out.
You didn't get enough
yesterday, huh?
You owe the guy
down the street an apology
and 50 bucks
for their broken mailbox.
We'll talk about the scratch
on the van,
and driving
without a permit
and how your lives are going
to change dramatically
because of restrictions,
but, uh...
later,
when there are no witnesses.
Mr. Camden,
Simon, unless
I'm mistaken,
you're not 18 yet...
No.
...which makes
you ineligible
to keep this car.
I know.
I just wanted to win it
and give my supernatural luck
a workout.
Don't worry.
I only use my powers for good.
The kid wins a raffle,
now he's got super powers.
And who am I to argue?
Is the scary guy
still looking at me?
Ruth, George-- son--
...time to step it up
and move it out.
Love you forever.
I love you.
We'll be back soon.
Wait, wait, here we are.
Would it be okay
if my dad just took me
for a ride around the block?
Uh, whatever the boy wants.
Fine-looking boy, too.
Ooh, a Viper!
There's a lot of horses
under that hood.
Maybe I should drive him.
Whose parents
were just here
for three days?
Oh, all right.
Have fun.
You know, I can't believe
that in six years
I'm gonna have to teach you
how to drive.
Yeah, and in seven,
you can teach your brother.
Huh?
Well, George is your brother
now, right?
Well, now that you mention it,
I... I guess he is.
Poor George.