68 Whiskey (2020–…): Season 1, Episode 3 - Daddy Issues - full transcript

Private Petrocelli,
step away from the goat bomb!

It's not a bomb.

Yeah, that's what
they want you to think.

Now move
so I can engage the threat.

Buckley's spirit
is in this goat.

You're fucking crazy.

I am not moving.

Yeah, well
I ain't getting blown up

by no goddamn suicide goat,
either.

It's not a suicide goat.

Don't worry, Boz.



I'm not gonna let anything
happen to you.

Hey, what are you saying to it?

That is none of your business.

Some sort of code?

To a goat?

It's not a bomb;
It's a fucking goat.

It's my associate's fingers
in its belly.

Gnarly.

Yeah, and now I got to
cut that goat open.

And that annoying
little shit there

isn't gonna move to the side

unless you put
your fucking weapon down.

Well, we don't
take orders from you.

But you do take orders from me.



And put that knife away.

Nobody's cuttin'
this poor little animal open.

That's the cutest fuckin' goat
I've ever seen.

Ain't that
the cutest fuckin' goat

you've ever seen,
Corporal Wittman?

Sir, yes, sir!

You think you can do
whatever you want to

while you're over here,
and maybe you can,

but not while you're on my base.

While you're on my base,
you follow my orders.

- Yes, Colonel.
- Damn right.

You seem unhealthily attached
to this goat, Private.

Just didn't want
to see it killed, sir.

Looks like it's been a while
since its last meal.

But no animals on base.

Feed it, give it some water,
get it the hell off.

You hear me, Private?

Yes, sir.

I'd like to speak
to him alone, please.

Yes, Ma'am!

Get up.

You look very at home in here.

This place is actually bigger
than my CHU, Ma'am.

I need a favor.

There's not much I can do
from in here.

If you do this for me,

I'll recommend that

all the charges against you
get dropped.

What's the favor?

The LN you brought in
the other day

left recovery in bad shape.

If he doesn't get
brought back to me

and put on a massive dose
of antibiotics, he's gonna die.

The good-lookin' kid?

His name is Qasem.

He's my patient,
and I'm responsible for him.

And you brought him in,

so I'm assuming you might
know where to find him.

Do you mind if I ask you why
you're taking such an interest

in this particular LN?

- Sergeant!
- Yes, Ma'am!

I'm done with him.

- No, wait, wait, wait!
- Hey, hey, wait!

I can find him
and I can bring him back.

Then do it.

I'm not sure about this.

This mission's keeping me
out of the brig,

so I'd appreciate it
if you got sure about it.

Not like Holloway

to stick her neck out like this
for an LN.

No.

Makes you think
there's an actual human being

under all that regular army.

Come on. Cut her some slack.

She chose putting up with all
your insubordinate bullshit

over being with her family.

Can't wait
to see you two get married.

Wanna be my best man?

You get her a ring?

- Shit.
- I didn't think about that.

- Give me an onion ring.
- I don't care.

How romantic.

Guess instead of honeymooning
in Bora Bora,

you guys'll be honeymooning
in Tora Bora.

Laugh all you want.

When we're married,

we're entitled to
300 bucks a month

extra housing allowance.

Marry me.

Let's get this over with.

Hey.

How are ya?

Mmm.

Sir, I'm getting rid of it.

What becomes of this goat
makes no matter to me, Private.

Glad to hear that, sir.

However, I am keenly interested

in what happened to an ambulance

that disappeared the other day.

Ambulance?

I don't know anything
about that.

Oh, really?

Because your name was
on the vehicle manifest.

You seem nervous.

Oh, I'm... I'm fine, sir.

- You're sweating profusely.
- It's hot, sir.

You're visibly shaking.

It's an unfortunate
medical condition, sir.

The truth, Private.

- Okay.
- Roback and Davis made me do it.

They filled it
with expired medical supplies

and took it to village to trade
with the warlords for hashish.

What?

Then the ambulance
got torched by SecCorp guys

but we can't be sure,
so we stole one of their SUVs

after the goat bit
off some guy's fingers

and then hit a landmine
on the way back, sir.

I see.

What are you gonna do
to me, sir?

Nothing right now.

It's Roback and Davis that
need to answer for this.

Well, Boz, that was a close one.

You hungry?

Where do we find Qasem?

Petrocelli said
he thought the little brother

came from a house
with a green door.

What else did he say?

Nothing. That was it.

Great.

Time to play
green door roulette.

Let's start with that one.

- Clear!
- Clear!

Hallway!

All clear.

What now?

We hit every other green door
in the neighborhood.

And wait for everyone

to just invite us in
for sponge cake and espresso?

Well there's nothing here,
so let's start knocking.

God damn.

What the fuck are you doing?

New way to get high?

Smells like burned hair.

This is a real motherfuckin'
silk rug.

Worth 30 grand back home.
We're taking it.

I know you're in dire st...

Looks like an ISIS tunnel.

Let's just
take the rug and split.

We got to go down there.

I didn't sign up for this.

Remember when you signed that
little piece of paper

in the recruiting station?

That was you signing up
for this.

We're goin' in.

- Next man!
- Coming in.

Coming in!

All clear.

- Who's this?
- My name is Azad.

He's the little brother.

Where's that fuckin' goat?

Uh...

I have no idea.

Well, you damn well
better have some idea.

Look... even if you cut it open,

your fingers would be
totally digested by now.

Yeah, it's not my fingers
I'm looking for, mate.

Huh?

It's my Crimson Tide
championship ring

that was on one
of those fingers.

That's what I'm fuckin'
looking for.

Wait, you played football
for Alabama?

One more time:

Where is that fucking goat?

I told you.
I don't know.

Yeah, you do,

and if I don't get my finger
back with that ring on it,

I'm gonna take one of yours.

What?

Ow.

You have one hour.

My brother was not well.

He was having
great difficulty breathing.

He became very weak.

He finally had to leave me.

To go where?

He was told the warlord was
in possession of antibiotics.

Our antibiotics.

He has not returned.

I am worried.

We're gonna get him
and we're gonna bring him back

to the hospital at our base
to get better.

One of us is gonna need
to be here with the kid

in case Qasem comes back.

You must
leave the woman here with me.

The warlord will have no
interest in dealing with her.

"The woman"?

- You're babysitting.
- No, no. Don't do this to me.

- No, no.
- It won't take long, okay?

Give you two a chance
to get close.

Here, Boz. Look.

See, see?
Yeah.

Come on.

What the hell are you doing?

I am trying to feed it
this horchata grip 'n rip.

Oh, that shit gave me the runs.

- Yeah?
- Well, I am counting on it.

Here, Boz.

Up here.

Here. Come on, here.

Yeah, okay. Atta boy.

There we go.

Yo, I meant it
about you being my best man.

No offense,

but I kinda take this
marriage thing more seriously.

Is that a no?

It's not a no.

Just kinda hoping you two would
take it more seriously, too.

- Yeah, well.
- I'm not Alvarez's type.

- She tell you that?
- Every day.

Besides, I'm not over Durkin.

Unfortunately complicated

by the fact
that she's totally over me.

- A salaam alaikum!
- God bless the USA!

Son of a bitch!

Looks like
those Afghan Army guys

got that SecCorp SUV
running again.

Damn!

Those ANA guys can turn
anything into a technical.

We got to track it down.

How exactly
are we gonna track it down?

There's a way.

I just haven't thought
of it, yet.

You keep me posted.

Always the pessimist, amigo.

No?

- That's that.
- Hold on.

Trade?

We don't have anything to trade.

- What do you got on you?
- What do you got on you?

- Supplies and water.
- Me, too.

What about here?

Hey. Hell, no.

It's not gonna happen.

It's time to put away
childish things, amigo.

Gimme your gamer.

I need
to at least wipe it first.

I got personal stuff on here.

- Porn?
- Among other things.

Weird, fucked up porn?

Normal, everyday porn.

I'm sure warlords
could jerk off, too.

Stop it.

Come on.

Now that you're happy,
let's try this one more time.

- Paghman?
- Paghman.

He's at Paghman Hospital.

- He's probably okay.
- Okay?

What part of Paghman Hospital
do you not get?

Salaam alaikum!

You are not married?

Will be soon.

Is it arranged?

Sort of.

When you are married,
you will have children, yes?

I will have children? No.

And your husband allows this?

It's not up to him.

But he is the man.

I am the woman.

Why do you not want
to talk to me?

Is it because I'm a man?

You're not a man!

You're a boy.

And it's because I find your
attitude very annoying.

How lucky you for you
that you happen to be born

with a little pee-pee
between those legs

that lets you make
all the decisions

for the women in your culture.

You are very angry.

And believe it or not,

you caught me on a good day.

Kid's giving you the finger.

Ah, shit.

Notice he didn't ask
for his wedding ring back.

So we're all good?

You and me?

Yeah, we're all good.

But that fucking goat and me?

Oh, we're far from good.

But you got your ring back.

Fingers are still missing.

Nothing the goat
can do about that.

Revenge is not about
remedying a situation,

it's about eye
for a fuckin' eye.

You're gonna
take the goat's finger?

Didn't know goats had fingers.

They have cloven hooves.

I'm not gonna take
the goat's fingers.

I'm gonna take the goat's life.

And I know it's on this base,

and I'm gonna fuckin' find it.

No, you're not.

Yeah.

Kid's not gonna give up
that goat without a fight.

Yeah, I'm gonna
find that fuckin' animal,

and I'm gonna gut it like
the goddamn catch of the day.

He's a great poet.

I know you do not read a lot,
but do not worry.

These poems are short.

A small child could read them.

You really
can't help yourself, can you?

I was in the middle

of my all-time high score
on that thing.

Well, maybe you should try
reading a book instead, amigo.

The engine
on the bird's running.

Let's go.

You have found my brother?

- He's at Paghman.
- We're gonna go get him.

Hey.

Figured only one of you would
be alive when we got back.

I had you, but Davis' money
was on the kid.

I'm never having children.

Especially boys.

We'll discuss this
after we're married.

Can't understand a thing.

Can't tell if we've got
permission to land or not.

Sounds like chaos down there.

For better or worse,
we're going in.

You speak English?

Of course I do. I'm a doctor.

- What happened here?
- Suicide bombing at a wedding.

Look, we're looking
for a patient called Qasem.

Do you have anybody here
by that name?

You are kidding me, right?

You are welcome
to go look for him yourself,

but I have no idea where he is,

nor do I have the time
to worry about him.

Is there anything
we can do here to help?

You can find this person
you're looking for

and take him away so I have
one less person to deal with.

Shh, shh.

Let's limit our boots
on the ground time here, okay?

For sure.

That him?

If it is, our work here is done.

I got him!

Hey, can you hear me? Hey.

You again.

Okay, shit.

Okay. Hey.

We're gonna get you
out of here, okay?

Door!

We managed
to stabilize him on the bird,

but he's still
in pretty bad shape.

I'll take it
from here, Sergeant.

Who's this?

- His little brother.
- They're a package deal.

Get that kid
and all of his germs

out of my operating room,
please!

Thank you.

Let's get him on the table!

How'd you take care of yourself

while your brother was away?

Relatives would feed me.

And since the killing of my
parents shut down the school,

I was no longer a target.

You seem
to accept your misfortunes

so much better than I do.

We do not expect everything
to turn out well like you do,

so we're never disappointed.

Hmm.

Gimme a sec, hon.

We were reading about another
one of those suicide bombings.

The boys are getting worried
about you,

but I told them
you were miles away

from where that stuff happens.

And they believed you?

Well, it doesn't really
matter, does it?

- Is that Mom?
- Yeah, it's Mom.

Hi.

Hi, Mom! We miss you.

Don't get blown up.

- Don't be an idiot.
- She's totally safe.

I am. I'm totally safe.

- That shirt is dirty.
- I told you not to wear it.

Now we're gonna be late
to school.

Change that, please.
Is Rufus locked out again?

I told you you got to
let him in after he pees.

It's out of control here.

I love you.
Can I call you tomorrow?

Okay, bye.

Hi.

Hey.

You okay?

Mm, yeah.

Just missing
the peace and quiet of home.

What's up?

I head you sprung Roback
from the brig.

Mind if I ask why?

Between you and me?

He did me a solid.

Well, the reason I ask

is that he's suddenly
on my radar,

so I need to know if we
consider him friend or foe.

At this specific moment
in time, friend.

But I'm sure that'll change
in an hour.

That's all I needed to know.

You were right.

I was not ready to leave.

It is possible you may know
more about medicine that I do.

Why do you find the destruction

of confiscated weapons
and explosives entertaining?

Do you not get enough
of this horror in battle?

You have a way
of really killing fun.

It is a privilege to be allowed

to be out amongst men at night.

I do not think
that you appreciate it.

Don't consider it a perk.

Your culture takes all
of these things for granted.

In my culture,

a mother is expected only
to bring a son into the family.

How can a woman
even survive here?

She can be raised as a boy.

What do you mean?

In my culture, some parents
can make the decision

to raise their daughters
as sons.

That way we are allowed
to have interactions with men,

allowed to have jobs,

allowed to
leave the house at night.

Oh, my God.

You're a girl?

It is true.

I was born female.

Do you feel like a boy?

I feel like
Allah has blessed me,

that I was chosen
to have a chance in life.

What happens when you get older?

Life becomes much more
difficult and dangerous.

You mean if someone finds out?

It is not a question
of if they find out,

but rather if they approve.

Well,
it's gonna be pretty difficult

to keep your little secret
on this base.

Why?

Well, you're gonna have to
shower at some point,

and I'm for sure

not letting you do it
with the men on this base.

Then I will not shower.

You'll have to sleep somewhere.

Unless you want me
to take you back home.

I will never
leave my brother again.

Then you're gonna have to

share your little secret
with others.

I'm sorry that I got a
bit annoyed with you before.

Your male privilege was

really pissing me off.

You're very good at being a boy.

It is a lot easier
than it looks.

The closest ANA base is here.

What if they aren't
stationed at the base?

What if they're floaters
just passing through?

Well, then
we'll never track down the SUV,

there'll be no fight,
and we're screwed.

Forget I mentioned it.

If I can just
figure out a way to...

Gentlemen.

Sir.

Oh, I had an interesting little
talk with Private Petrocelli.

- He's a good kid.
- Great kid.

Yes, the young lad
told me all about

your eventful nocturnal jaunt
through the countryside

the other night.

- Oh, shit.
- The kid likes to embellish.

Oh, the tale he told me
needs no embellishment.

It is a tale
of sneaking off base

to trade expired medicines
for hashish to a local warlord

and then

burning a military ambulance.

We're not
the ones who torched it.

Oh, yes.

The private was quite clear
on that point.

Sir, those meds were
designated to be destroyed.

Or traded for ten pounds

of grade A Afghan hashish,
it seems.

The village needed them badly.

Oh, you two are quite
the humanitarians, aren't you?

And they were still
perfectly good.

You don't have to tell me.

I hate how big pharma

invents these expiration dates
simply to make more money

by inducing earlier churn
on supplies.

It's shameful.

- It is shameful.
- Pisses us off, too.

However, demanding hashish
in return for those drugs?

Mm... is also shameful.

We feel bad, sir.

Oh, I'm sure you do.

Look, I like you both,
all right?

You're damn good medics.

And between us,

I have been known to imbibe

on the local Afghan hashish
myself, occasionally.

It is primo.

Be that as it may,

I'm ordering you to destroy
everything you have.

All ten pounds of it,

because if I hear that you are
selling it around the base,

and I will hear about it,

I'll recommend that you both
be court-martialed.

Yes, sir.

Oh, and about that ambulance...

Yes, sir?

That is property
of the United States Army.

But I'm British Forces,
so screw it.

- We can't destroy the hashish.
- It's all we got.

We may not have to.

Hoo!

Lovely.

What'd you blokes want from me?

We need you
to turn it all into edibles

so it'll be easier
to hide and move.

- I have the technology.
- Fantastic.

For 50%.

Fuck that.

I'm supposed to do this out
of the kindness of my heart?

We were thinking you would
take it as collateral

for the Sasquatch fight.

So I bloody well
am supposed to do this

out of the kindness of my heart.

This fight is gonna be big.

You can stand
to make a shitload of book.

You got Sasquatch
to agree to it?

We're working on it.

Then this whole conversation's

just taking place in a dream.

How 'bout this?

If the fight doesn't happen,

you can keep half of it
as payment for the last fight.

Here's an even better deal.

If the fight doesn't happen,
I keep the whole bloody thing.

You just said 50%.

Prices fluctuate.

Okay, fine.

Agreed.

- About this fight, mate.
- Yeah?

I'm gonna want
to check out your man.

Make sure he's up to the task
so I can put out decent odds.

I'm not agreeing to anything
until I lay eyes on your boy.

Of course.

And I am not gonna be the one

to convince Sasquatch
to fight him.

You blokes are.

- Not gonna be a problem.
- Good.

Now get the hell out
of my kitchen

so I can turn this hash
into food.

Think you should
disguise it as MREs.

Nobody touches those.
It'll be safer.

So you know exactly
where they are

and you could just
steal 'em back from me?

Do I look like a fuckin' idiot
to you, mate?

Oh, by the way, mate.

It's chicken. All week long.

You got a little
Corporal Buckley in you.

You know that?

You know, he was
the coolest dude I ever met.

He knew the origin story

of every Marvel character
by heart.

Even the ones nobody knew.

And he didn't let anyone
fuck with me.

I'm not gonna let anyone
fuck with you,

but I can't hide you
in here forever.

We're gonna get through this.

I got a ton of forms
for you and Roback to sign.

For what?

For the marriage?

Oh, yeah.

You're really not
into Roback, huh?

What exactly did he tell you?

Look, don't worry.

I'm not gonna tell anyone.

Sorry if I fucked up
everything with him.

Sasquatch seems

big.

Jesus.

Roback told you everything too,
huh?

I'm not judging you.

That's good,
'cause I respect you

even though I know
you don't respect me.

I don't really
think about you much.

Figured you'd never thought
about me much, either.

You figured wrong.

You go your own way.

You don't care
what anyone else thinks.

You're badass.

Hmm.

Glad it comes across
as some sort of inner strength

but it's really not.

Look, I uh...

I need someone to talk to

about putting up
with all the swinging dicks

around on this base

and girlfriend pickings
around here are,

you know, slim.

Um,

I'm not the girlfriend type.

Okay, then who do you talk
personal shit with?

My family.

How ethnically charming.

How typically racist.

Wanna get high?

Roback's not my type.

What is your type?

Someone I come across

when I'm not juggling
dismembered limbs

on a daily basis.

If you're gonna be that picky,

you're never gonna find anyone.

Roback and Sasquatch
are nothing like.

How'd you end up
caught between them?

My dad is a total screw-up

who forced me to take care
of myself from day one.

Sasquatch is a part of me
that wants to kick his ass

and Roback's a part of me that

wants to fuck him.

Okay.

Why do we always fall for men

who remind us
why we hate our fathers?

Oh, I love my father.

I'd be lucky to end up

with someone as good-hearted
and honest as him.

You suck as a girlfriend.

I'm used to being around guys.

This feels weird.

Took me a while
to get used to it, too.

Girlfriend, pass that shit.

This weed
is really fucking strong.

Got it from an LN translator
who had a crush on me.

Can you get more?

- Mm-mm.
- Why not?

He was targeted and killed
by the Taliban.

I like to smoke some every
once in a while in his memory.

I hope I am
remembered like this.

Anyway,

good luck with Sasquatch.

And if you ever bounce back
to Roback, I'm okay with it.

You really don't
give a shit, do you?

About what?

Anything.

Never really had the luxury.

I give a shit about too much,
especially men.

You're gonna be really good
for me.

We'll see.

Got a sec?

Hey.

Please.

What?

I just wanted to say
I respect your decision, okay?

What decision?

To cool it with me.

No, not cooling it with you.

Ending it with you.

- Yeah, whatever.
- Anyway, I get it.

I'll be married to Alvarez,
and that'll be that.

So what do you want from me?

I need you to convince
Sasquatch to fight my guy.

Why?

Because I'll be fucked
if you don't,

and I believe you still care
about what happens to me.

If I ever mention your name
to Sasquatch,

he's gonna smell you
all over me.

That's pretty hot.

Stop it.

Anything else?

Yeah.

While I respect your decision

not to see me anymore
once I'm married,

the fact is,
this moment in time,

I'm not married.

Jesus, yes!

Oh, my God!

You're a fucking magician!

Oh, my God.

Wait, did you come?

I was a little busy
concentrating on you.

Oh, my God.

- You good?
- Mm-hmm.

How was it?

Different.

"Different"?

Different. Okay.

Hey, wait.

Is that it?

After that?

You gave me closure.

I gave you

the first ever vaginal orgasm
of your entire fucking life.

That's because this
is never gonna happen again.

It's all psychological.
Trust me.

No, it's because
we're great together.

Trust me.

Look... once I'm married
to Alvarez,

we can do this all the time.

That's not gonna work for me.

Besides, if we get caught
she'll get deported,

and I don't want that
to happen to her.

Why are you so concerned

about what happens to her
all of a sudden?

You two talking behind my back?

We don't have
to do shit behind your back,

'cause we have nothing
to hide from you.

Should I be worried
about you two?

I think you should be worried
about your fight,

'cause you're on your own
with Sasquatch, so

good luck.

Go.

Look, he's gonna kill you
if you don't leave.

Go!

Damn it, Boz.

At ease.

He's fine.

You okay?

I'm fine.

Awaiting your signature, sir.

Mm.

Can I ask you something?

Of course, sir.

Seeing as you're the one
requisitioning all the forms

for this
Roback-Alvarez marriage,

does it smell legit to you?

I assume so, sir.

Good,

'cause my ass is hanging out
the wind here on it.

Just wanna make sure

it's not another one
of Roback's schemes.

And if it was?

Then it would be my pleasure

to hang his sorry neck
from our flagpole

then make sure

his corpse biodegrades
in a military prison.

It's for real, sir.

There have been rumors
about them for a while.

They're

kind of perfect for each other,
don't you think?

Wouldn't know anything
about that,

but I am starting to have
regrets about it already.

Dismissed.

Yeah?

- Hi.
- Hi.

How you doin'?

Good.

So, you been talking to Durkin?

Yeah.

She's helping us
with the paperwork, remember?

What have you guys
been talking about?

What do you think
we talked about?

The forms we need to fill out
so you and I can get married.

That's all?

Okay.

I'm giving you one last chance
to back out.

Because

we're really getting married,

really gonna have to
live together.

Really gonna have
to keep up appearances.

And then at some point we'll
really have to get divorced.

I'm all in on this.

I love you like a sister

and what's happening you
is just fucking wrong.

Plus, we're entering into this

with more of a connection
to each other

than any real marriage

I've ever had
the misfortune of observing.

Thank you.

But...

now that we're
putting it all out there,

there's an element
of this whole thing

that's been bothering me.

Okay, what?

I mean, aren't you... aren't you
even a little attracted to me?

No.

Is that a problem?

No, I just...

And you're not attracted
to me at all, right?

That'd be like incest.

God help us.

We're gonna be fine.

Yeah.

Have you told your family?

Not yet.

How do you think they'll react?

Well my mom and my sisters
will love you,

and you'll love them.

What about your dad?

What are you gonna do to me?

You know, you think you're so

goddamn smarter
than everybody else.

Fuck you!

Fuck you!

What she and I do is none
of your fucking business.

You stay the fuck
out of my fucking business.

Swear to God, or I'll
give you a goddamn reason.

Me and my dad don't talk
very much anymore.