3rd Rock from the Sun (1996–2001): Season 4, Episode 14 - Paranoid Dick - full transcript
Mary thinks she might not be respected as dean by her colleagues and Dick convinces her there's a conspiracy against her, led by Judith. Dick and Mary decide to find out more about this by breaking into Judith's office. Meanwhile, Vicky feels bad for Sally because she and Don broke up and talks her, and Tommy and Harry, into a weekend of riverboat gambling.
OH, YES.
I'D LIKE TO SPEAK TO
THE CHANCELLOR ABOUT...
NO. NO, THIS IS DEAN
ALBRIGHT. RIGHT.
LUNCH TIME, MARY!
SHH. SHH. SHH.
NO, I'VE ALREADY
LEFT 3 MESSAGES.
I'LL CALL BACK LATER.
WHAT'S HIS PROBLEM? WHO?
THE CHANCELLOR.
IF I DIDN'T KNOW ANY BETTER,
I'D SWEAR HE WAS AVOIDING ME.
WHY WOULD HE BE AVOIDING
YOU? YOU'RE THE DEAN.
AND YOU'VE DONE
AN EXEMPLARY JOB.
YOU THINK SO? YES.
YOU'VE DONE NOTHING OFFENSIVE.
YOU HAVEN'T CAUSED A
SINGLE RIPPLE ON THE POND.
NO CONTROVERSIAL PROPOSALS,
NO EXPENSIVE
CUTTING-EDGE TEACHERS,
NO INNOVATIVE IDEAS TO
SHAKE UP THE STATUS QUO.
YOU'VE BEEN ALMOST INVISIBLE.
WELL, I DID INSTITUTE THOSE
SLANTED PARKING SPACES
IN THE FACULTY LOT.
YEAH, AND NO ONE CARED.
OH, COME ON, MARY,
YOU'VE LASTED 6 MONTHS
IN A JOB THAT NONE
THOUGHT YOU COULD KEEP
AND EVEN FEWER
THOUGHT YOU DESERVED.
IT'S YOUR HALF-YEAR ANNIVERSARY.
I'LL CALL SOME PEOPLE.
WE'LL HAVE A PARTY.
OH, I CAN'T. I HAVE THAT
ADVISORY BOARD MEETING.
NO, YOU DON'T. YES, I DO.
NO. THEY CHANGED THAT
MEETING TO THIS MORNING.
WELL, THEY SAID THEY CALLED YOU.
NOBODY CALLED ME.
THEN I GUESS YOU MISSED IT.
LOOK, I'M GONNA GRAB A SANDWICH
AND PLACE A QUICK
BET. I'LL BE BACK.
WELL, NOW, THAT...
IS SUSPICIOUS.
BUT NOW WE CAN HAVE THAT PARTY!
[DOOR CLOSES]
HELLO, SALLY.
OH, HEY, DON.
THANKS FOR BRINGING MY STUFF.
NO PROBLEM.
THIS IS ALWAYS THE MOST
AWKWARD PART OF A BREAKUP.
WELL, YOU MEAN SEEING EACH OTHER
FOR THE FIRST TIME
AFTER IT HAPPENS?
NO, I MEAN MAKING SURE YOU
GET YOUR GOOD STUFF BACK.
OH, RIGHT. WELL,
HERE'S YOUR BOX.
WOW.
OH, MY SUEDE BELT.
MY BATHROOM LIGHT.
I DIDN'T LEAVE THIS HERE.
IT WAS SCREWED IN OVER MY SINK.
AND IT WAS TOUGH TO
GET OFF, LET ME TELL YOU.
WE DON'T LIKE TUNA MELTS, OK?
All: OHHH.
IT'S OK, YOU GUYS.
FORGIVE US, WE'RE IDIOTS.
THAT'S ALL RIGHT. I
WAS JUST LEAVING.
OH, NO. YOU CAN
COME BACK ANYTIME.
CUT IT OUT.
I'M FINE.
YOU LOOK GREAT. OF
COURSE. SURE, YOU ARE.
Don: SHUT UP!
THIS MUST BE HARD FOR YOU.
NO, IT'S OK.
WELL, THAT'S A CRY FOR
HELP IF EVER I HEARD ONE.
NOW, YOU LISTEN TO
ME, GIRL. PUT THIS DOWN.
YOU HAVE GOT TO GO
SOMEPLACE QUIET AND BEAUTIFUL.
A PLACE WHERE YOU CAN JUST SIT
AND LOOK OUT OVER THE WATER
AND THINK ABOUT YOUR LIFE.
THINK ABOUT WHO IT IS
THAT YOU WANT TO BE.
YEAH.
WHERE'S THAT?
RIVERBOAT GAMBLING
ON THE CINCINNATI QUEEN, BABY!
YEE-HAW!
YEAH, I HEARD ABOUT THAT.
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH,
IT'S A FLOATING CASINO
THE SIZE OF 2 FOOTBALL FIELDS.
HOLD UP. 2 FOOTBALL FIELDS?
DOS FOOTBALITO.
OH, YEAH.
I'M IN, BABY. I'M
GONNA START PACKING.
[CLEARS THROAT]
MARY, I'M SORRY I MISSED YOUR
HALF-YEAR ANNIVERSARY PARTY.
I WAS THERE IN SPIRIT.
WELL, THEN MAYBE YOUR SPIRIT
WOULDN'T MIND
PONYING UP 13 BUCKS?
OH, THAT'S OK.
JUDITH, DID YOU GET A CALL
THAT THE BOARD
MEETING WAS MOVED UP?
NO. OH. OK.
IT WAS IN THE MEMO.
THERE WAS A MEMO?
OH. OH, CHANCELLOR, I'M
SO GLAD YOU STOPPED BY.
I WAS WONDERING IF I COULD
GET YOUR EAR FOR JUST...
ACTUALLY, I WAS HOPING TO
TALK TO JUDITH FOR A MOMENT.
OH.
IF YOU COULD SPARE
JUST A MINUTE, THOUGH,
I'D LIKE TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT THE
SCHEDULE FOR NEXT SUMMER SESSION.
NEXT SUMMER?
I WOULDN'T WORRY
ABOUT THAT, MARY.
THAT'S A LONG WAY OFF.
"DON'T WORRY ABOUT NEXT SUMMER."
WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?
IT MEANS YOU MIGHT NOT
BE HERE BY NEXT SUMMER.
WHAT?
NO. NO, I'M PROBABLY
JUST OVERREACTING.
PERHAPS. AND PERHAPS NOT.
OH, DICK.
THINK ABOUT IT, MARY.
THE CLUES ARE ALL THERE.
WHAT CLUES?
THINK, MARY.
WHO'S HAVING MYSTERIOUS LIAISONS
WITH THE CHANCELLOR?
JUDITH.
AND WHO HAPPENED TO RECEIVE
THE STRANGELY ELUSIVE MEMO
ABOUT THIS MORNING'S MEETING?
JUDITH.
AND WHEN YOU GOT NAMED AS DEAN,
WHO CALLED YOU AN UNDESERVING
ASS-KISSER BEHIND YOUR BACK?
JUDITH!
SHE WAS AMONG THEM, YES.
I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.
YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT, MARY.
THERE'S A STINK IN THE AIR,
AND FOR ONCE, THE
MAJORITY OF IT IS NOT ME.
SEE, YOU GOT YOUR
BLACKJACK TABLE RIGHT THERE,
THAT'S THE WHEEL OF FORTUNE.
OVER THERE, THAT'S THE BACCARAT.
SEE THEM TABLES OVER THERE?
THEY'RE FOR CRAPS.
WHERE'S HARRY?
I DON'T KNOW, AND I DON'T CARE.
'CAUSE VICKI AND I ARE HAVING
A GIRLS' NIGHT OUT. AM I RIGHT?
OH, WE'RE GONNA GONNA
BREAK SOME HEARTS, BABY!
YEE-HAW! WHOO!
LET'S GO.
JACKPOT! YEAH!
CHECK IT OUT, TOMMY.
THIS IS THE LOOSEST
MACHINE ON THE BOAT.
HARRY, IT'S A CHANGE MACHINE.
THAT'S RIGHT. IT'S
CHANGING ME INTO A WINNER.
COCKTAILS.
HARRY, LET'S GO.
PEOPLE WANT TO USE THE MACHINE.
OH, WELL, I'M SURE THAT THEY DO.
COME ON, BABY. MONEY
COMES TO MONEY.
COME ON, MAMA.
[MACHINE DISPENSES CHANGE]
YEAH!
JUDITH.
HOW ARE YOU DOING?
FANTASTIC.
FUNNY THING.
I WAS THINKING ABOUT WHAT
YOU AND CHANCELLOR STEVENS
WERE DISCUSSING THIS MORNING.
YOU KNOW ABOUT
THE, UM, THE, UH...
WHAT WERE YOU
TALKING ABOUT AGAIN?
I'M SORRY. THAT WAS A
PRIVATE CONVERSATION.
YEAH, OF COURSE IT WAS.
I... I UNDERSTAND.
BY THE BY, JUDE...
AND I CALL YOU JUDE
BECAUSE WE'RE SO CLOSE...
MARY AND I HAVE HAD A
FALLING OUT. WE'RE OVER.
AND I'D LIKE TO GET A GOOD
PLOT GOING AGAINST HER.
GOT ANYTHING ON THAT?
DICK, I HAVE A CLASS.
NO, YOU DON'T.
OK, JUST LEAVE.
TELL ME WHAT'S GOING ON
BETWEEN YOU AND THE CHANCELLOR
AND I WILL NEVER SET
FOOT IN YOUR OFFICE AGAIN.
FINE. YOU KNOW
CHANCELLOR STEVENS'
ANNUAL BADGER DAY ADDRESS?
OH, THAT INSIPID YAWN FEST?
I WRITE THEM FOR HIM.
LAST YEAR'S WAS TREMENDOUS.
YOU MIGHT WANT TO TRIM ABOUT
AN HOUR OUT OF IT THIS TIME.
OH, HEY, JUDE.
GOTTA GO. I'LL SEE YOU LATER.
BADGER DAY ADDRESS.
HOW STUPID DOES SHE THINK I AM?
I KNOW. AND DID YOU SEE THE WAY
SHE RUSHED YOU
OUT OF HER OFFICE?
AND HOW ABOUT HOW SHE SLIPPED
THAT DOCUMENT INTO HER DESK.
PRETTY SUBTLE, HUH?
THAT BITCH WANTS MY JOB!
♪ WORKING FOR THE MAN
EVERY NIGHT AND DAY ♪
♪ BUT I NEVER LOST ONE
MINUTE OF SLEEP, NO ♪
♪ WORRYING ABOUT THE WAY
THINGS MIGHT HAVE BEEN ♪
SALLY, I'M TELLING YOU, THIS GUY
IS LIKE AMONG THE TOP 5
NEIL DIAMOND IMPERSONATORS
THAT I HAVE EVER SEEN.
HE IS SO HOT.
HE'S HOT AS HELL.
I DON'T KNOW, VICKI.
I'VE JUST GOT THIS, LIKE,
URGE COMING OVER ME.
I JUST WANT TO THROW
SOMETHING UP ON THAT STAGE.
YOU MEAN LIKE YOUR PANTIES?
WHAT'S HE GONNA
DO WITH MY PANTIES?
I'M GONNA THROW
HIM A BUFFALO WING.
SALLY, SALLY, NO, NO, NO.
NINA, COME OVER HERE.
WHO'S THAT STRANGE
MAN LURKING OUTSIDE?
IT'S ROBERTO. HE
WATERS THE PLANTS.
AH. THE ONE WITH
THE LISTENING DEVICE?
IT'S A HEARING AID.
YEAH. RIGHT.
NINA, I NEED YOUR HELP.
A FEW WEEKS AGO I SAW
YOU HOLD THE ELEVATOR
FOR CHANCELLOR
STEVENS' ASSISTANT RUTH.
YEAH. SO?
IT'S TIME TO CALL IN THAT FAVOR.
GET HER TO FAX OVER A LOG BOOK
OF EVERY CALL HE'S MADE
OVER THE LAST 6 MONTHS.
NO, BETTER MAKE IT A YEAR.
DR. SOLOMON, WILL
YOU STOP WORRYING?
THERE'S NO CONSPIRACY
AGAINST DR. ALBRIGHT. TRUST ME.
TRUST YOU?
OF COURSE I TRUST YOU.
YOU'RE MY TRUSTED AIDE, NINA.
NINA'S IN ON IT.
NO!
OH, HEY, DR. ALBRIGHT.
NINA, HOW ARE YOU?!
I'M GOOD.
SEE?
OH, MY GOD. I'VE
HAD HER IN MY HOUSE.
HOW DEEP DOES THIS THING GO?
DAMN. IF ONLY I COULD GET
A LOOK AT THAT DOCUMENT
THAT JUDITH HID FROM ME.
NO MATTER HOW MUCH I FIND OUT,
I STILL ONLY KNOW A SMALL PART.
IT'S LIKE A RIDDLE
WRAPPED AROUND AN ENIGMA
FRIED UP IN A CONUNDRUM
WITH CHINESE
MUSTARD DIPPING SAUCE.
WELL, I'M NOT GOING
DOWN THAT EASY.
I THINK YOU KNOW
WHAT WE HAVE TO DO.
KILL JUDITH AND MAKE IT
LOOK LIKE AN ACCIDENT? NO.
WE'RE NOT GONNA MAKE
IT LOOK LIKE AN ACCIDENT?
OH, COME ON, DICK.
Mary: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
Dick: LOOKING FOR
INFRARED SENSORS.
SMELLS LIKE PINE CONES.
THEY WERE OUT OF
COUNTRY MEADOWS.
DAMN. IT'S LOCKED.
MARY...
TOMMY TAUGHT ME HOW
TO GET PAST ANY LOCK.
BUT YOU MUST PROMISE ME
NEVER TO REVEAL THIS TECHNIQUE.
IF IT GOT OUT, IT COULD
HAVE DIRE EFFECTS
ON SOCIETY AS WE KNOW IT.
THIS IS IT.
THIS IS THE DOCUMENT
JUDITH WAS HIDING.
QUICK. STUFF IT
IN MY UNDERPANTS.
WHAT?
YOU'RE RIGHT. WE
SHOULD READ IT FIRST.
THERE MUST BE 50 OR 60 PAGES.
WAIT A MINUTE.
THIS IS THE CHANCELLOR'S
BADGER DAY ADDRESS.
JUDITH WAS TELLING THE TRUTH.
OH, MY GOD. MARY, LOOK AT THIS!
WHAT?
IT'S SO REDUNDANT!
YOU COULD LOSE THIS WHOLE PART.
WHAT WAS I THINKING?
CUT THIS, CUT THIS.
ACTUALLY THIS PART
IS KIND OF CLEVER.
OH, DICK, I FEEL LIKE AN IDIOT.
LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.
[POLICE SIREN]
IT'S THE HEAT.
MARY, RUN FOR IT!
DICK.
DICK!
[WHIMPERING] DICK?
WHOO! YOU ARE THE MAN.
I AM THE MAN.
ALL RIGHT. COME ON,
BABY, GIMME SOME LOVIN'.
7!
[CHEERING]
WE'RE RAKING IN THE DOUGH, BABY.
I'M GONNA QUIT MY DAY JOB.
YOU DON'T HAVE ONE, MY MAN.
WELL, THEN I'M GONNA
GET ONE AND QUIT IT.
OK. HERE WE GO. READY? WHOO!
11!
[CHEERING]
ALL RIGHT. DO YOU WANT
ME TO KEEP ON ROLLING?
Crowd: YEAH!
I CAN'T HEAR YOU.
I SAID DO YOU WANT
ME TO KEEP ON ROLLING?
YEAH!
EH, I'M DONE.
WHAT? YEAH, I'M FINISHED.
HEY. WHO WANTS TO GO
OUTSIDE FOR SOME FRESH AIR?
I CAN'T HEAR YOU.
POOR MARY.
YOU'RE NOT DESIGNED FOR FLIGHT.
IT'S YOUR STUBBY LITTLE LEGS,
THEY LET YOU DOWN.
OH, DICK.
GOOD-BYE, MARY.
DON'T YOU LEAVE ME.
DON'T WORRY. I'LL BE BACK.
I'M GOING TO GET
YOU OUT OF HERE.
IN THE MEANTIME,
LET THIS SUSTAIN YOU.
AAH!
SO ELVIS SAYS, "NEVER
MIND WITH THEM PILLS.
I'LL JUST SLAM 'EM DOWN."
[LAUGHS]
HEY, Y'ALL.
HOW Y'ALL DOIN'?
YOU KNOW I SAW
YOU FROM THE STAGE.
OH, MY GOD. HE PICKED
US OUT FROM 11 PEOPLE.
BE COOL, BE COOL.
PLEASE, SIT DOWN.
WHAT ARE YOUR NAMES?
WELL, I'M TAFFY,
AND THIS IS AMBER.
WE'RE SISTERS.
UH, WE OWN A BIKINI
SHOP ON THE INTERNET.
OOH.
W-W-W DOT WOW.
[LAUGHING]
YOU KNOW, AMBER HERE WAS
QUITE MOVED BY YOUR FINALE.
OH, IS THAT SO?
YES.
YOU KNOW, WHEN
YOU LIT THAT SPARKLER,
I FELT LIKE I WAS
COMING TO AMERICA.
TODAY.
OH, HI, DON. I'M JUST
GOING IN TO SEE MARY.
UH, HOLD IT. HOLD
IT THERE, DICK.
THAT WOULDN'T BE A CAKE
WITH A FILE BAKED
IN IT, WOULD IT?
[LAUGHS] DON'T...
DON'T BE SILLY.
[METAL DETECTOR BEEPS]
[METAL DETECTOR BEEPS]
[METAL DETECTOR BEEPS]
SOMETIMES IT'S THE BELT.
[METAL DETECTOR BEEPS]
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY.
OH, THESE THINGS HAPPEN.
NO, YOU'RE CLEAR.
[METAL DETECTOR BEEPS]
I'D NEVER BEEN IN TROUBLE
UNTIL HE CAME ALONG.
BUT HE HAS THIS
WAY OF TALKING, SEE,
WHEN YOU KNOW HE'S CRAZY,
BUT YOU JUST CAN'T
HELP BUT LISTEN TO HIM.
AND ALL OF A SUDDEN,
YOU FIND YOURSELF
DOING THINGS YOU
NEVER THOUGHT YOU'D DO.
BAD THINGS,
STUPID THINGS.
AND WHERE IS HE NOW?
FREE AS A BIRD.
WHILE I'M IN HERE
TAKING THE FALL.
WE KNOW HOW YOU FEEL.
YEAH. YOU NEED A NEW PIMP.
PIMP? I'M NOT A HOOKER.
I'M A PROFESSOR.
HMM. TOO BAD. YOU
COULD MAKE A NICE LIVING.
THANK YOU.
MARY, LOOK WHO'S HERE.
JUDITH AND CHANCELLOR STEVENS.
YOU'RE LOOKING GOOD, CHANCELLOR.
ISN'T HE LOOKING GOOD, MARY?
I WAS JUST ABOUT TO SAY THAT.
MARY, MARY, MARY.
CHANCELLOR.
GINGER. CHANCELLOR.
MARY, WHAT COULD
YOU HAVE BEEN THINKING?
BREAKING AND ENTERING.
WELL, ACTUALLY, IT'S VERY FUNNY.
YOU'RE GONNA LOVE
IT WHEN YOU HEAR IT
BECAUSE IT'S VERY, VERY FUNNY.
YOU WANT TO HEAR IT NOW?
'CAUSE YOU'RE GONNA LAUGH.
MARY, MARY, MARY, MARY.
NO!
SHE'S NOT TO BLAME.
SHE HAD AN ACCOMPLICE.
I TALKED HER INTO IT.
IF ANYONE GOES DOWN
FOR THIS, IT SHOULD BE ME.
THAT'S VERY NOBLE OF YOU, DICK,
BUT WE CAUGHT MARY
TRYING TO BASH HER WAY
OUT OF MY OFFICE WITH A CROWBAR.
WELL, HE TAUGHT ME THAT.
MARY, MARY...
OH, SHUT UP!
$4,200 IS NOT BAD
FOR A NIGHT'S WORK.
EXACTLY.
NOW, LET'S TREAT OURSELVES
TO A SOUVENIR VISOR.
OH, THEY'RE NICE.
WELL, I'LL GET ONE
FOR EACH OF US.
OK. OOH.
HOW 'BOUT A HIGH
ROLLER TOTE BAG?
VICKI WOULD LOVE THIS.
I WOULD LOVE THIS.
I'LL GET 2.
OOH. AND A JUMBO
TIN OF RIVER TAFFY.
LET'S SLOW DOWN.
THIS ALL THE SNOW
GLOBES YOU GOT?
HARRY, COME ON, THAT'S ENOUGH.
OOH. LOOK AT THIS JACKET.
I NEED A MEDIUM. YOU GOT A
MEDIUM? HARRY, WALK AWAY.
DON'T TOUCH ME.
I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING.
COCKTAILS!
OH, YEAH? DO THAT THING WE DID.
YEAH? HEY, CHECK THIS OUT.
THAT'S MY SISTER.
LADIES, LADIES, EXCUSE ME.
I AM GONNA GO GET THESE
RIBS PACKED UP TO GO,
AND THEN WE'LL HIT MY CABIN.
WOW. YOU HAVE YOUR OWN CABIN?
OH, YE... WELL,
I HAVE TO SHARE IT
WITH THE KENNY ROGERS,
BUT HE SLEEPS LIKE A LOG.
MM-MM-MM-MM-MM.
I'M GONNA KISS HIM.
YOU ARE NOT.
I AM.
I'M GONNA KISS THAT NEIL
DIAMOND IMPERSONATOR
RIGHT ON HIS BIG SWEATY MOUTH.
THAT-A-GIRL, SALLY.
IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU GETTING
YOUR LIFE BACK ON TRACK.
VICKI?
YES, SALLY?
I FEEL GOOD.
YEOW! WHOO!
GO GET HIM, GIRL.
PRETTY FANCY, HUH?
UH, MR. DIAMOND...
YOU WERE RIGHT,
VICKI. I NEEDED THAT.
WHOO!
LET'S GO DO SOMETHING ELSE.
WHOO-HOO!
OH, LOOK AT ME, DICK.
THEY'VE STRIPPED
ME OF EVERYTHING.
MY OFFICE, MY TITLE, MY DIGNITY.
BUT THERE'S ONE THING THEY
CAN'T TAKE AWAY FROM ME.
YOUR DIGNITY?
NO. I JUST SAID THEY GOT THAT.
THERE'S ONE THING
THEY DON'T GOT.
MY OLD JOB. I GOT THAT.
OH, YEAH. I GOT THAT.
WELL, DR. ALBRIGHT.
OH...
I'VE BEEN WORKING
FOR YOU FOR 6 MONTHS.
GOOD-BYE.
THAT'S IT?
OH, WHAT A COUPLE OF
FOOLS WE'VE BEEN, MARY.
OH, NO, DICK, I WAS
THE BIGGER FOOL.
IF I'D JUST HAD MORE
CONFIDENCE IN MYSELF,
I WOULDN'T HAVE
GOTTEN INTO THIS JAM.
NO, MARY, I WAS THE BIGGER FOOL.
IF I HADN'T BEEN SO
SUSPICIOUS OF EVERYONE,
THINGS WOULD NEVER
HAVE GOTTEN THIS CRAZY.
NO, DICK, I WAS THE
BIGGER FOOL. I GOT CAUGHT.
NO, MARY, I WAS THE BIGGER...
NO, WAIT. YOU WERE
THE BIGGER FOOL.
PROMISE ME ONE THING, DICK.
THE NEXT TIME THE WORLD
GETS ALL TOPSY-TURVY
AND I START ACTING CRAZY AGAIN,
DO ME A FAVOR, WILL YOU?
SLAP SOME SENSE INTO ME?
I SAID NEXT TIME.
HARRY, THESE WARM-UP
SUITS ARE FANTASTIC.
YEAH, WELL, YOU KNOW,
I LIKE TO SPREAD THE
GOOD FORTUNE AROUND.
HOW MUCH DID YOU WIN?
$4,200.
YEAH, AND HOW
MUCH DID YOU SPEND?
LET'S CALL IT 5 GRAND.
THAT'S HOW CASINOS MAKE
ALL THEIR MONEY. GIFT SHOPS?
THAT'S HOW THEY GET YOU.
HOW CAN YOU
RESIST? OH, YOU CAN'T.
IT'S LIKE OUR BRAINS
HAVE MINDS OF THEIR OWN.
MINE BECAME SO PARANOID.
I WAS COMPLETELY CONVINCED
THAT MARY WAS
GONNA LOSE HER JOB.
AND DID SHE?
YEAH.
SO I GUESS BEING PARANOID
IS KIND OF LIKE BEING PSYCHIC.
WELL, AT LEAST MARY'S
BACK IN YOUR OFFICE.
THAT'S NICE. YEAH, IT'S GREAT.
YEE-HAW!
WHOO-HOO!
IT'S A GIRL THING.
YOU WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND.
OH, MARY, IT'S SO NICE TO HAVE
YOU BACK IN THE OFFICE WITH ME.
IT IS KIND OF HOMEY.
WOULD YOU MIND JUST
MOVING A HAIR TO YOUR LEFT?
THERE'S A NICE WINDOW VIEW
I'VE KIND OF GOTTEN USED TO.
OK.
SKITCH MORE.
ALMOST THERE.
ANOTHER SMIDGE.
NOW DOWN 2 INCHES.
PERFECT.
WELCOME HOME, MARY.
I'D LIKE TO SPEAK TO
THE CHANCELLOR ABOUT...
NO. NO, THIS IS DEAN
ALBRIGHT. RIGHT.
LUNCH TIME, MARY!
SHH. SHH. SHH.
NO, I'VE ALREADY
LEFT 3 MESSAGES.
I'LL CALL BACK LATER.
WHAT'S HIS PROBLEM? WHO?
THE CHANCELLOR.
IF I DIDN'T KNOW ANY BETTER,
I'D SWEAR HE WAS AVOIDING ME.
WHY WOULD HE BE AVOIDING
YOU? YOU'RE THE DEAN.
AND YOU'VE DONE
AN EXEMPLARY JOB.
YOU THINK SO? YES.
YOU'VE DONE NOTHING OFFENSIVE.
YOU HAVEN'T CAUSED A
SINGLE RIPPLE ON THE POND.
NO CONTROVERSIAL PROPOSALS,
NO EXPENSIVE
CUTTING-EDGE TEACHERS,
NO INNOVATIVE IDEAS TO
SHAKE UP THE STATUS QUO.
YOU'VE BEEN ALMOST INVISIBLE.
WELL, I DID INSTITUTE THOSE
SLANTED PARKING SPACES
IN THE FACULTY LOT.
YEAH, AND NO ONE CARED.
OH, COME ON, MARY,
YOU'VE LASTED 6 MONTHS
IN A JOB THAT NONE
THOUGHT YOU COULD KEEP
AND EVEN FEWER
THOUGHT YOU DESERVED.
IT'S YOUR HALF-YEAR ANNIVERSARY.
I'LL CALL SOME PEOPLE.
WE'LL HAVE A PARTY.
OH, I CAN'T. I HAVE THAT
ADVISORY BOARD MEETING.
NO, YOU DON'T. YES, I DO.
NO. THEY CHANGED THAT
MEETING TO THIS MORNING.
WELL, THEY SAID THEY CALLED YOU.
NOBODY CALLED ME.
THEN I GUESS YOU MISSED IT.
LOOK, I'M GONNA GRAB A SANDWICH
AND PLACE A QUICK
BET. I'LL BE BACK.
WELL, NOW, THAT...
IS SUSPICIOUS.
BUT NOW WE CAN HAVE THAT PARTY!
[DOOR CLOSES]
HELLO, SALLY.
OH, HEY, DON.
THANKS FOR BRINGING MY STUFF.
NO PROBLEM.
THIS IS ALWAYS THE MOST
AWKWARD PART OF A BREAKUP.
WELL, YOU MEAN SEEING EACH OTHER
FOR THE FIRST TIME
AFTER IT HAPPENS?
NO, I MEAN MAKING SURE YOU
GET YOUR GOOD STUFF BACK.
OH, RIGHT. WELL,
HERE'S YOUR BOX.
WOW.
OH, MY SUEDE BELT.
MY BATHROOM LIGHT.
I DIDN'T LEAVE THIS HERE.
IT WAS SCREWED IN OVER MY SINK.
AND IT WAS TOUGH TO
GET OFF, LET ME TELL YOU.
WE DON'T LIKE TUNA MELTS, OK?
All: OHHH.
IT'S OK, YOU GUYS.
FORGIVE US, WE'RE IDIOTS.
THAT'S ALL RIGHT. I
WAS JUST LEAVING.
OH, NO. YOU CAN
COME BACK ANYTIME.
CUT IT OUT.
I'M FINE.
YOU LOOK GREAT. OF
COURSE. SURE, YOU ARE.
Don: SHUT UP!
THIS MUST BE HARD FOR YOU.
NO, IT'S OK.
WELL, THAT'S A CRY FOR
HELP IF EVER I HEARD ONE.
NOW, YOU LISTEN TO
ME, GIRL. PUT THIS DOWN.
YOU HAVE GOT TO GO
SOMEPLACE QUIET AND BEAUTIFUL.
A PLACE WHERE YOU CAN JUST SIT
AND LOOK OUT OVER THE WATER
AND THINK ABOUT YOUR LIFE.
THINK ABOUT WHO IT IS
THAT YOU WANT TO BE.
YEAH.
WHERE'S THAT?
RIVERBOAT GAMBLING
ON THE CINCINNATI QUEEN, BABY!
YEE-HAW!
YEAH, I HEARD ABOUT THAT.
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH,
IT'S A FLOATING CASINO
THE SIZE OF 2 FOOTBALL FIELDS.
HOLD UP. 2 FOOTBALL FIELDS?
DOS FOOTBALITO.
OH, YEAH.
I'M IN, BABY. I'M
GONNA START PACKING.
[CLEARS THROAT]
MARY, I'M SORRY I MISSED YOUR
HALF-YEAR ANNIVERSARY PARTY.
I WAS THERE IN SPIRIT.
WELL, THEN MAYBE YOUR SPIRIT
WOULDN'T MIND
PONYING UP 13 BUCKS?
OH, THAT'S OK.
JUDITH, DID YOU GET A CALL
THAT THE BOARD
MEETING WAS MOVED UP?
NO. OH. OK.
IT WAS IN THE MEMO.
THERE WAS A MEMO?
OH. OH, CHANCELLOR, I'M
SO GLAD YOU STOPPED BY.
I WAS WONDERING IF I COULD
GET YOUR EAR FOR JUST...
ACTUALLY, I WAS HOPING TO
TALK TO JUDITH FOR A MOMENT.
OH.
IF YOU COULD SPARE
JUST A MINUTE, THOUGH,
I'D LIKE TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT THE
SCHEDULE FOR NEXT SUMMER SESSION.
NEXT SUMMER?
I WOULDN'T WORRY
ABOUT THAT, MARY.
THAT'S A LONG WAY OFF.
"DON'T WORRY ABOUT NEXT SUMMER."
WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?
IT MEANS YOU MIGHT NOT
BE HERE BY NEXT SUMMER.
WHAT?
NO. NO, I'M PROBABLY
JUST OVERREACTING.
PERHAPS. AND PERHAPS NOT.
OH, DICK.
THINK ABOUT IT, MARY.
THE CLUES ARE ALL THERE.
WHAT CLUES?
THINK, MARY.
WHO'S HAVING MYSTERIOUS LIAISONS
WITH THE CHANCELLOR?
JUDITH.
AND WHO HAPPENED TO RECEIVE
THE STRANGELY ELUSIVE MEMO
ABOUT THIS MORNING'S MEETING?
JUDITH.
AND WHEN YOU GOT NAMED AS DEAN,
WHO CALLED YOU AN UNDESERVING
ASS-KISSER BEHIND YOUR BACK?
JUDITH!
SHE WAS AMONG THEM, YES.
I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.
YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT, MARY.
THERE'S A STINK IN THE AIR,
AND FOR ONCE, THE
MAJORITY OF IT IS NOT ME.
SEE, YOU GOT YOUR
BLACKJACK TABLE RIGHT THERE,
THAT'S THE WHEEL OF FORTUNE.
OVER THERE, THAT'S THE BACCARAT.
SEE THEM TABLES OVER THERE?
THEY'RE FOR CRAPS.
WHERE'S HARRY?
I DON'T KNOW, AND I DON'T CARE.
'CAUSE VICKI AND I ARE HAVING
A GIRLS' NIGHT OUT. AM I RIGHT?
OH, WE'RE GONNA GONNA
BREAK SOME HEARTS, BABY!
YEE-HAW! WHOO!
LET'S GO.
JACKPOT! YEAH!
CHECK IT OUT, TOMMY.
THIS IS THE LOOSEST
MACHINE ON THE BOAT.
HARRY, IT'S A CHANGE MACHINE.
THAT'S RIGHT. IT'S
CHANGING ME INTO A WINNER.
COCKTAILS.
HARRY, LET'S GO.
PEOPLE WANT TO USE THE MACHINE.
OH, WELL, I'M SURE THAT THEY DO.
COME ON, BABY. MONEY
COMES TO MONEY.
COME ON, MAMA.
[MACHINE DISPENSES CHANGE]
YEAH!
JUDITH.
HOW ARE YOU DOING?
FANTASTIC.
FUNNY THING.
I WAS THINKING ABOUT WHAT
YOU AND CHANCELLOR STEVENS
WERE DISCUSSING THIS MORNING.
YOU KNOW ABOUT
THE, UM, THE, UH...
WHAT WERE YOU
TALKING ABOUT AGAIN?
I'M SORRY. THAT WAS A
PRIVATE CONVERSATION.
YEAH, OF COURSE IT WAS.
I... I UNDERSTAND.
BY THE BY, JUDE...
AND I CALL YOU JUDE
BECAUSE WE'RE SO CLOSE...
MARY AND I HAVE HAD A
FALLING OUT. WE'RE OVER.
AND I'D LIKE TO GET A GOOD
PLOT GOING AGAINST HER.
GOT ANYTHING ON THAT?
DICK, I HAVE A CLASS.
NO, YOU DON'T.
OK, JUST LEAVE.
TELL ME WHAT'S GOING ON
BETWEEN YOU AND THE CHANCELLOR
AND I WILL NEVER SET
FOOT IN YOUR OFFICE AGAIN.
FINE. YOU KNOW
CHANCELLOR STEVENS'
ANNUAL BADGER DAY ADDRESS?
OH, THAT INSIPID YAWN FEST?
I WRITE THEM FOR HIM.
LAST YEAR'S WAS TREMENDOUS.
YOU MIGHT WANT TO TRIM ABOUT
AN HOUR OUT OF IT THIS TIME.
OH, HEY, JUDE.
GOTTA GO. I'LL SEE YOU LATER.
BADGER DAY ADDRESS.
HOW STUPID DOES SHE THINK I AM?
I KNOW. AND DID YOU SEE THE WAY
SHE RUSHED YOU
OUT OF HER OFFICE?
AND HOW ABOUT HOW SHE SLIPPED
THAT DOCUMENT INTO HER DESK.
PRETTY SUBTLE, HUH?
THAT BITCH WANTS MY JOB!
♪ WORKING FOR THE MAN
EVERY NIGHT AND DAY ♪
♪ BUT I NEVER LOST ONE
MINUTE OF SLEEP, NO ♪
♪ WORRYING ABOUT THE WAY
THINGS MIGHT HAVE BEEN ♪
SALLY, I'M TELLING YOU, THIS GUY
IS LIKE AMONG THE TOP 5
NEIL DIAMOND IMPERSONATORS
THAT I HAVE EVER SEEN.
HE IS SO HOT.
HE'S HOT AS HELL.
I DON'T KNOW, VICKI.
I'VE JUST GOT THIS, LIKE,
URGE COMING OVER ME.
I JUST WANT TO THROW
SOMETHING UP ON THAT STAGE.
YOU MEAN LIKE YOUR PANTIES?
WHAT'S HE GONNA
DO WITH MY PANTIES?
I'M GONNA THROW
HIM A BUFFALO WING.
SALLY, SALLY, NO, NO, NO.
NINA, COME OVER HERE.
WHO'S THAT STRANGE
MAN LURKING OUTSIDE?
IT'S ROBERTO. HE
WATERS THE PLANTS.
AH. THE ONE WITH
THE LISTENING DEVICE?
IT'S A HEARING AID.
YEAH. RIGHT.
NINA, I NEED YOUR HELP.
A FEW WEEKS AGO I SAW
YOU HOLD THE ELEVATOR
FOR CHANCELLOR
STEVENS' ASSISTANT RUTH.
YEAH. SO?
IT'S TIME TO CALL IN THAT FAVOR.
GET HER TO FAX OVER A LOG BOOK
OF EVERY CALL HE'S MADE
OVER THE LAST 6 MONTHS.
NO, BETTER MAKE IT A YEAR.
DR. SOLOMON, WILL
YOU STOP WORRYING?
THERE'S NO CONSPIRACY
AGAINST DR. ALBRIGHT. TRUST ME.
TRUST YOU?
OF COURSE I TRUST YOU.
YOU'RE MY TRUSTED AIDE, NINA.
NINA'S IN ON IT.
NO!
OH, HEY, DR. ALBRIGHT.
NINA, HOW ARE YOU?!
I'M GOOD.
SEE?
OH, MY GOD. I'VE
HAD HER IN MY HOUSE.
HOW DEEP DOES THIS THING GO?
DAMN. IF ONLY I COULD GET
A LOOK AT THAT DOCUMENT
THAT JUDITH HID FROM ME.
NO MATTER HOW MUCH I FIND OUT,
I STILL ONLY KNOW A SMALL PART.
IT'S LIKE A RIDDLE
WRAPPED AROUND AN ENIGMA
FRIED UP IN A CONUNDRUM
WITH CHINESE
MUSTARD DIPPING SAUCE.
WELL, I'M NOT GOING
DOWN THAT EASY.
I THINK YOU KNOW
WHAT WE HAVE TO DO.
KILL JUDITH AND MAKE IT
LOOK LIKE AN ACCIDENT? NO.
WE'RE NOT GONNA MAKE
IT LOOK LIKE AN ACCIDENT?
OH, COME ON, DICK.
Mary: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
Dick: LOOKING FOR
INFRARED SENSORS.
SMELLS LIKE PINE CONES.
THEY WERE OUT OF
COUNTRY MEADOWS.
DAMN. IT'S LOCKED.
MARY...
TOMMY TAUGHT ME HOW
TO GET PAST ANY LOCK.
BUT YOU MUST PROMISE ME
NEVER TO REVEAL THIS TECHNIQUE.
IF IT GOT OUT, IT COULD
HAVE DIRE EFFECTS
ON SOCIETY AS WE KNOW IT.
THIS IS IT.
THIS IS THE DOCUMENT
JUDITH WAS HIDING.
QUICK. STUFF IT
IN MY UNDERPANTS.
WHAT?
YOU'RE RIGHT. WE
SHOULD READ IT FIRST.
THERE MUST BE 50 OR 60 PAGES.
WAIT A MINUTE.
THIS IS THE CHANCELLOR'S
BADGER DAY ADDRESS.
JUDITH WAS TELLING THE TRUTH.
OH, MY GOD. MARY, LOOK AT THIS!
WHAT?
IT'S SO REDUNDANT!
YOU COULD LOSE THIS WHOLE PART.
WHAT WAS I THINKING?
CUT THIS, CUT THIS.
ACTUALLY THIS PART
IS KIND OF CLEVER.
OH, DICK, I FEEL LIKE AN IDIOT.
LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.
[POLICE SIREN]
IT'S THE HEAT.
MARY, RUN FOR IT!
DICK.
DICK!
[WHIMPERING] DICK?
WHOO! YOU ARE THE MAN.
I AM THE MAN.
ALL RIGHT. COME ON,
BABY, GIMME SOME LOVIN'.
7!
[CHEERING]
WE'RE RAKING IN THE DOUGH, BABY.
I'M GONNA QUIT MY DAY JOB.
YOU DON'T HAVE ONE, MY MAN.
WELL, THEN I'M GONNA
GET ONE AND QUIT IT.
OK. HERE WE GO. READY? WHOO!
11!
[CHEERING]
ALL RIGHT. DO YOU WANT
ME TO KEEP ON ROLLING?
Crowd: YEAH!
I CAN'T HEAR YOU.
I SAID DO YOU WANT
ME TO KEEP ON ROLLING?
YEAH!
EH, I'M DONE.
WHAT? YEAH, I'M FINISHED.
HEY. WHO WANTS TO GO
OUTSIDE FOR SOME FRESH AIR?
I CAN'T HEAR YOU.
POOR MARY.
YOU'RE NOT DESIGNED FOR FLIGHT.
IT'S YOUR STUBBY LITTLE LEGS,
THEY LET YOU DOWN.
OH, DICK.
GOOD-BYE, MARY.
DON'T YOU LEAVE ME.
DON'T WORRY. I'LL BE BACK.
I'M GOING TO GET
YOU OUT OF HERE.
IN THE MEANTIME,
LET THIS SUSTAIN YOU.
AAH!
SO ELVIS SAYS, "NEVER
MIND WITH THEM PILLS.
I'LL JUST SLAM 'EM DOWN."
[LAUGHS]
HEY, Y'ALL.
HOW Y'ALL DOIN'?
YOU KNOW I SAW
YOU FROM THE STAGE.
OH, MY GOD. HE PICKED
US OUT FROM 11 PEOPLE.
BE COOL, BE COOL.
PLEASE, SIT DOWN.
WHAT ARE YOUR NAMES?
WELL, I'M TAFFY,
AND THIS IS AMBER.
WE'RE SISTERS.
UH, WE OWN A BIKINI
SHOP ON THE INTERNET.
OOH.
W-W-W DOT WOW.
[LAUGHING]
YOU KNOW, AMBER HERE WAS
QUITE MOVED BY YOUR FINALE.
OH, IS THAT SO?
YES.
YOU KNOW, WHEN
YOU LIT THAT SPARKLER,
I FELT LIKE I WAS
COMING TO AMERICA.
TODAY.
OH, HI, DON. I'M JUST
GOING IN TO SEE MARY.
UH, HOLD IT. HOLD
IT THERE, DICK.
THAT WOULDN'T BE A CAKE
WITH A FILE BAKED
IN IT, WOULD IT?
[LAUGHS] DON'T...
DON'T BE SILLY.
[METAL DETECTOR BEEPS]
[METAL DETECTOR BEEPS]
[METAL DETECTOR BEEPS]
SOMETIMES IT'S THE BELT.
[METAL DETECTOR BEEPS]
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY.
OH, THESE THINGS HAPPEN.
NO, YOU'RE CLEAR.
[METAL DETECTOR BEEPS]
I'D NEVER BEEN IN TROUBLE
UNTIL HE CAME ALONG.
BUT HE HAS THIS
WAY OF TALKING, SEE,
WHEN YOU KNOW HE'S CRAZY,
BUT YOU JUST CAN'T
HELP BUT LISTEN TO HIM.
AND ALL OF A SUDDEN,
YOU FIND YOURSELF
DOING THINGS YOU
NEVER THOUGHT YOU'D DO.
BAD THINGS,
STUPID THINGS.
AND WHERE IS HE NOW?
FREE AS A BIRD.
WHILE I'M IN HERE
TAKING THE FALL.
WE KNOW HOW YOU FEEL.
YEAH. YOU NEED A NEW PIMP.
PIMP? I'M NOT A HOOKER.
I'M A PROFESSOR.
HMM. TOO BAD. YOU
COULD MAKE A NICE LIVING.
THANK YOU.
MARY, LOOK WHO'S HERE.
JUDITH AND CHANCELLOR STEVENS.
YOU'RE LOOKING GOOD, CHANCELLOR.
ISN'T HE LOOKING GOOD, MARY?
I WAS JUST ABOUT TO SAY THAT.
MARY, MARY, MARY.
CHANCELLOR.
GINGER. CHANCELLOR.
MARY, WHAT COULD
YOU HAVE BEEN THINKING?
BREAKING AND ENTERING.
WELL, ACTUALLY, IT'S VERY FUNNY.
YOU'RE GONNA LOVE
IT WHEN YOU HEAR IT
BECAUSE IT'S VERY, VERY FUNNY.
YOU WANT TO HEAR IT NOW?
'CAUSE YOU'RE GONNA LAUGH.
MARY, MARY, MARY, MARY.
NO!
SHE'S NOT TO BLAME.
SHE HAD AN ACCOMPLICE.
I TALKED HER INTO IT.
IF ANYONE GOES DOWN
FOR THIS, IT SHOULD BE ME.
THAT'S VERY NOBLE OF YOU, DICK,
BUT WE CAUGHT MARY
TRYING TO BASH HER WAY
OUT OF MY OFFICE WITH A CROWBAR.
WELL, HE TAUGHT ME THAT.
MARY, MARY...
OH, SHUT UP!
$4,200 IS NOT BAD
FOR A NIGHT'S WORK.
EXACTLY.
NOW, LET'S TREAT OURSELVES
TO A SOUVENIR VISOR.
OH, THEY'RE NICE.
WELL, I'LL GET ONE
FOR EACH OF US.
OK. OOH.
HOW 'BOUT A HIGH
ROLLER TOTE BAG?
VICKI WOULD LOVE THIS.
I WOULD LOVE THIS.
I'LL GET 2.
OOH. AND A JUMBO
TIN OF RIVER TAFFY.
LET'S SLOW DOWN.
THIS ALL THE SNOW
GLOBES YOU GOT?
HARRY, COME ON, THAT'S ENOUGH.
OOH. LOOK AT THIS JACKET.
I NEED A MEDIUM. YOU GOT A
MEDIUM? HARRY, WALK AWAY.
DON'T TOUCH ME.
I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING.
COCKTAILS!
OH, YEAH? DO THAT THING WE DID.
YEAH? HEY, CHECK THIS OUT.
THAT'S MY SISTER.
LADIES, LADIES, EXCUSE ME.
I AM GONNA GO GET THESE
RIBS PACKED UP TO GO,
AND THEN WE'LL HIT MY CABIN.
WOW. YOU HAVE YOUR OWN CABIN?
OH, YE... WELL,
I HAVE TO SHARE IT
WITH THE KENNY ROGERS,
BUT HE SLEEPS LIKE A LOG.
MM-MM-MM-MM-MM.
I'M GONNA KISS HIM.
YOU ARE NOT.
I AM.
I'M GONNA KISS THAT NEIL
DIAMOND IMPERSONATOR
RIGHT ON HIS BIG SWEATY MOUTH.
THAT-A-GIRL, SALLY.
IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU GETTING
YOUR LIFE BACK ON TRACK.
VICKI?
YES, SALLY?
I FEEL GOOD.
YEOW! WHOO!
GO GET HIM, GIRL.
PRETTY FANCY, HUH?
UH, MR. DIAMOND...
YOU WERE RIGHT,
VICKI. I NEEDED THAT.
WHOO!
LET'S GO DO SOMETHING ELSE.
WHOO-HOO!
OH, LOOK AT ME, DICK.
THEY'VE STRIPPED
ME OF EVERYTHING.
MY OFFICE, MY TITLE, MY DIGNITY.
BUT THERE'S ONE THING THEY
CAN'T TAKE AWAY FROM ME.
YOUR DIGNITY?
NO. I JUST SAID THEY GOT THAT.
THERE'S ONE THING
THEY DON'T GOT.
MY OLD JOB. I GOT THAT.
OH, YEAH. I GOT THAT.
WELL, DR. ALBRIGHT.
OH...
I'VE BEEN WORKING
FOR YOU FOR 6 MONTHS.
GOOD-BYE.
THAT'S IT?
OH, WHAT A COUPLE OF
FOOLS WE'VE BEEN, MARY.
OH, NO, DICK, I WAS
THE BIGGER FOOL.
IF I'D JUST HAD MORE
CONFIDENCE IN MYSELF,
I WOULDN'T HAVE
GOTTEN INTO THIS JAM.
NO, MARY, I WAS THE BIGGER FOOL.
IF I HADN'T BEEN SO
SUSPICIOUS OF EVERYONE,
THINGS WOULD NEVER
HAVE GOTTEN THIS CRAZY.
NO, DICK, I WAS THE
BIGGER FOOL. I GOT CAUGHT.
NO, MARY, I WAS THE BIGGER...
NO, WAIT. YOU WERE
THE BIGGER FOOL.
PROMISE ME ONE THING, DICK.
THE NEXT TIME THE WORLD
GETS ALL TOPSY-TURVY
AND I START ACTING CRAZY AGAIN,
DO ME A FAVOR, WILL YOU?
SLAP SOME SENSE INTO ME?
I SAID NEXT TIME.
HARRY, THESE WARM-UP
SUITS ARE FANTASTIC.
YEAH, WELL, YOU KNOW,
I LIKE TO SPREAD THE
GOOD FORTUNE AROUND.
HOW MUCH DID YOU WIN?
$4,200.
YEAH, AND HOW
MUCH DID YOU SPEND?
LET'S CALL IT 5 GRAND.
THAT'S HOW CASINOS MAKE
ALL THEIR MONEY. GIFT SHOPS?
THAT'S HOW THEY GET YOU.
HOW CAN YOU
RESIST? OH, YOU CAN'T.
IT'S LIKE OUR BRAINS
HAVE MINDS OF THEIR OWN.
MINE BECAME SO PARANOID.
I WAS COMPLETELY CONVINCED
THAT MARY WAS
GONNA LOSE HER JOB.
AND DID SHE?
YEAH.
SO I GUESS BEING PARANOID
IS KIND OF LIKE BEING PSYCHIC.
WELL, AT LEAST MARY'S
BACK IN YOUR OFFICE.
THAT'S NICE. YEAH, IT'S GREAT.
YEE-HAW!
WHOO-HOO!
IT'S A GIRL THING.
YOU WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND.
OH, MARY, IT'S SO NICE TO HAVE
YOU BACK IN THE OFFICE WITH ME.
IT IS KIND OF HOMEY.
WOULD YOU MIND JUST
MOVING A HAIR TO YOUR LEFT?
THERE'S A NICE WINDOW VIEW
I'VE KIND OF GOTTEN USED TO.
OK.
SKITCH MORE.
ALMOST THERE.
ANOTHER SMIDGE.
NOW DOWN 2 INCHES.
PERFECT.
WELCOME HOME, MARY.