3rd Rock from the Sun (1996–2001): Season 3, Episode 5 - Scaredy Dick - full transcript
Dick has to get a routine medical check up, gets scared and runs away before the doctor can take a look at him. When he meets the doctor again at a Halloween party Dick leaves the party prematurely. At home he finds a scared Harry claiming there's a ghost in the house. Dick tells him there's no such thing but is swiftly convinced of the contrary after hearing a disturbing sound. Meanwhile, Sally and Tommy are at Mary's house to give children their treat.
DR. SOLOMON, THE
DEAN'S OFFICE CALLED.
THEY SAY YOU NEVER
HAD YOUR PHYSICAL.
HOW CAN THEY SAY THAT?
SO YOU DID TAKE YOUR PHYSICAL?
I DID NOTHING OF THE SORT.
EVERYONE WHO WORKS
HERE HAS TO TAKE ONE.
OH.
I'VE SCHEDULED YOU WITH
DR. HOWARD FOR THIS AFTERNOON.
OH, WELL, DR. HOWARD
IS IN FOR A TREAT.
I AM A MASTERPIECE. A
PERFECT HUMAN BEING.
NOT A STRAND OF
DNA OUT OF PLACE.
HE'LL PROBABLY WANT MY
ORGANS TO PUT ON DISPLAY.
YEAH, THE SOONER THE BETTER.
OH, YEAH.
OH, NICE PLACE.
IT'S, UH... A BIT STERILE.
AND YOU COULD USE A
TOUCH OF POTPOURRI
TO MASK THIS SOMEWHAT
DISTURBING SMELL.
BUT IT'S NICE AND BRIGHT,
IN A GLARING,
FLUORESCENT SORT OF WAY.
HAVE A SEAT.
CRUNCHY.
NOW YOU CAN GO
AHEAD AND DISROBE.
RIGHTO. I'LL JUST
BE NAKED HERE...
IN THIS COLD ROOM...
WITH THESE STRANGE MACHINES...
GLEAMING INSTRUMENTS...
WHOSE FUNCTION I
CAN ONLY IMAGINE.
AAH!
NOW, NOW...
NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT. AAH!
AAH!
WILL SOMEBODY
MAKE THAT MUSIC STOP!
DICK, I'LL BE WITH
YOU IN A MINUTE.
THE HELL YOU WILL!
HALLOWEEN IS SUCH A RIP!
THERE'S NO BIG MEAL,
YOU DON'T GET THE DAY OFF,
AND ON TOP OF THAT,
IT'S MEANINGLESS.
ACTUALLY, SALLY, UH,
HALLOWEEN IS REVERED
AS THE DAY WHEN THE GRAVES YAWN
AND THE DEAD RISE.
PLUS YOU GET TO STICK
CANDY CORNS UP YOUR NOSE.
THE MOST RIDICULOUS
THING HAPPENED TODAY.
WHOA! GET READY FOR THE ZINGER.
I HAD TO TAKE A PHYSICAL.
AH HA HA!
THAT'S NOT THE LEAST BIT FUNNY.
BUT WHEN I GOT TO THE DOCTOR'S,
FOR SOME REASON I GOT SCARED,
AND I HAD TO LEAVE.
WELL, WHAT DO YOU
HAVE TO BE SCARED OF?
THESE BODIES, THEY'RE HUMAN.
THEY CAN'T TELL YOU'RE AN ALIEN.
YEAH, I MEAN, BESIDES,
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN TO
THE DOCTOR FOR YOUR FOOT.
BUT THAT WAS TO FIX SOMETHING.
NOW HE'S JUST GOING
IN LOOKING FOR TROUBLE.
SO, DICK, DID YOU
GO TO THE DOCTOR?
IF YOU'RE ASKING ME IF
I WENT TO THE DOCTOR,
YES, I WENT TO THE DOCTOR.
WHAT'D HE SAY?
OH, THE USUAL.
"HI. HOW ARE YOU?"
"WHERE ARE YOU
GOING? COME BACK!"
YOU'RE JUST BEING SILLY.
YOU'RE JUST LIKE MY COUSIN PAUL.
HE AVOIDED GOING TO THE DOCTOR.
KEPT PUTTING IT OFF
AND PUTTING IT OFF
UNTIL ONE DAY HE
JUST DROPPED DEAD.
SO HE NEVER HAD TO
GO TO THE DOCTOR?
OH, HEY, DICK, YOU
FORGOT YOUR LUNCH.
OH, THANK YOU, SALLY.
WHERE IS IT?
I FORGOT IT.
SALLY, I'M GLAD YOU'RE HERE.
I HAVE TO GO TO A
HALLOWEEN PARTY TONIGHT.
I WAS WONDERING IF YOU
COULD HOUSE-SIT FOR ME.
I'D HATE FOR NO ONE TO BE THERE
TO GIVE THOSE CUTE
LITTLE KIDS CANDY.
WHY?
BECAUSE, OTHERWISE, THE
LITTLE BRATS EGG YOUR HOUSE
AND COVER YOUR TREES
WITH TOILET PAPER.
SURE, ALBRIGHT. A
BEAUTIFUL WOMAN LIKE ME
HAS NO PLANS ON HALLOWEEN.
I'M SO SORRY. WHAT
WAS I THINKING?
NO, I MEAN IT. I ACTUALLY
HAVE NOTHING TO DO.
OH, THANK YOU SO MUCH.
DR. SOLOMON, IF YOU
DON'T GET YOUR PHYSICAL,
THEY'RE GONNA HOLD YOUR
PAYCHECKS UNTIL YOU DO.
OH, OH, NINA.
OF COURSE, I'LL GO. I'M
LOOKING FORWARD TO IT.
THAT'S BETTER.
COME WITH ME, NINA. PLEASE!
I CAN'T FACE THE DOCTOR ALONE.
WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF?
OH, I DON'T KNOW.
EVER SINCE I WENT THERE,
I'M SCARED OF EVERYTHING.
COME WITH ME, PLEASE!
ME? WHY DON'T YOU
ASK DR. ALBRIGHT?
MARY?
SEEING ME NAKED AND
VULNERABLE, QUIVERING WITH FEAR?
OH, HO, I WOULDN'T GIVE
HER THE SATISFACTION.
WELL, WHY DO I HAVE TO
GET THE SATISFACTION?
NINA, COULD YOU TIE MY GOWN?
DID YOU TURN IT AROUND YET?
YES.
DICK, GOOD TO HAVE YOU BACK.
HOW ARE YOU DOING?
FINE, DOCTOR. I FEEL FINE.
MY PULSE IS NORMAL,
BLOOD PRESSURE'S FINE.
LOOKS LIKE I'M GOOD TO
GO. THANK YOU, DOCTOR.
IF YOU DON'T MIND, DICK,
I'D LIKE TO TAKE A LOOK MYSELF.
NOW WHY DON'T YOU JUST...
OPEN YOUR MOUTH.
MM-MMM.
COME ON NOW, HONEY. OPEN
UP FOR THE NICE DOCTOR.
DICK, I CAN'T HELP YOU
IF YOU DON'T COOPERATE.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.
I'M HERE. I'M DISROBED.
I'VE DONE EVERYTHING YOU
COULD REASONABLY EXPECT.
NOW IT'S TIME FOR
ME TO GO. GOOD-BYE.
DICK, YOUR CLOTHES!
OH, KEEP 'EM!
NO POISON IN THAT ONE.
MORE RAISINS THAN I CARE FOR.
BUT THERE'S NO CRIME IN THAT.
WHO'S THAT SUPPOSED TO BE?
JULIUS AND ETHEL ROSENBERG.
I THINK THE GUY AT THE
STORE MADE A MISTAKE.
ALL RIGHT, COME ON,
GUYS, LOCK AND LOAD.
WE'RE GOING TO ALBRIGHT'S.
WHY? WHAT FOR?
IT'S HALLOWEEN, HARRY.
AND EVERY LITTLE
BRAT IN RUTHERFORD
IS HOPPED UP HIGHER
THAN A KITE ON M & Ms.
AND FROM WHAT I HEAR,
ALBRIGHT'S HOUSE IS GROUND
ZERO FOR DESTRUCTION.
OH, NO, THAT SOUNDS
TOO DANGEROUS.
YOU CAN COUNT ME OUT.
GOOD. STAY HERE, HARRY.
ALONE.
ALL ALONE.
I DON'T CARE.
ON HALLOWEEN.
FRIGHT NIGHT.
WHEN THE DEAD BECOME LIVING,
AND THE LIVING BECOME DEAD!
I DON'T CARE.
HI, HI, HI. TRICK OR TREAT.
OH... JULIUS AND
ETHEL ROSENBERG.
LOVELY COSTUMES. VERY NICE.
THANKS, DUBIE.
OH, HARRY, YOU'RE AN ALIEN.
I AM NOT!
I MEAN... YES.
ALL RIGHT, COME ON, TOMMY.
LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.
HAPPY HALLOWEEN.
Sally: YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
OH, FUDGE.
MY LIGHTER WENT
DOWN THE AIR VENT.
OH, HEY. HERE, I
GOT SOME MATCHES.
OH, THAT WOULD GET
ME THROUGH THIS PACK,
BUT WHAT AM I GONNA DO
FOR THE REST OF THE NIGHT?
OH, CHAIN SMOKE. YEAH.
OH, DOROTHY. YOU LOOK GREAT.
OH, I WANTED TO COME
AS A FLYING MONKEY,
BUT I SHAVED MY LEGS,
AND THE WHOLE LOOK FELL APART.
YOU'RE A RIOT, LITTLE DARLING.
ARRR, MATIES.
HEAVE TO WHILST I
HOIST ME JOLLY ROGER.
DICK, YOU'RE A PIRATE.
OH, THANKS A LOT.
WHAT?
YOU DIDN'T HAVE
TO TELL EVERYBODY.
WHO ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO BE?
I'LL GIVE YOU A HINT.
DICK, I DON'T THINK
WE'RE IN KANSAS ANYMORE.
OF COURSE. NANCY KASSEBAUM.
FORMER REPUBLICAN
SENATOR FROM KANSAS.
CARE FOR SOME SPINACH, CAPTAIN?
OH, SURE.
I DON'T REALLY HAVE ANY SPINACH.
WELL, THEN WHY DID
YOU GET MY HOPES UP?
HAVE YOU SEEN DR. ALBRIGHT?
WELL, WHAT IS SHE DRESSED LIKE?
UH, NANCY KASSEBAUM,
THE FORMER REPUBLICAN
SENATOR FROM KANSAS.
UH, WE HAVEN'T SEEN HER.
YEAH, I WOULD HAVE NOTICED THAT.
OH, THERE SHE IS.
SHE'S MINGLING WITH A SKELETON.
ARRR, LOOK WHO
THINKS HE'S SCARY.
WELL, I BE NOT A-FEARED OF YOU,
YOU BAG OF BONES.
NOW UNHAND ME FORMER WENCH.
HELLO, DICK.
DR. HOWARD?
SHIVER ME TIMBERS.
SO, DICK. WHERE ARE
YOUR BUCCANEERS?
UNDER MY BUCCAN-HAT.
DICK, I HEARD YOU RAN
OUT OF DR. HOWARD'S
OFFICE TODAY.
THAT'S NOT TRUE.
IT'S MY WORD AGAINST HIS.
IT'S NINA'S AND MY
WORD AGAINST HIS.
OH, GIVE IT UP.
OH, FINE. I LEFT YOUR OFFICE.
OH, YEAH. YEAH.
BUT IT WASN'T OUT OF FEAR, NO.
IT WAS OUT OF PROTEST.
OH, THIS SHOULD BE GOOD.
YOU DOCTORS.
YOUR A.M.A.s AND YOUR HMOs.
PEOPLE TREAT YOU LIKE GODS.
BUT YOU'RE JUST A BUNCH OF
MOUNTEBANKS AND CHARLATANS,
WITH YOUR "VACCINES",
AND YOUR "PENICILLINS."
OH, SURE, PEOPLE ARE
HEALTHIER NOW THAN EVER,
BUT AT WHAT COST?
WELL, I'LL HAVE NONE OF IT.
GOOD NIGHT, GOOD DOCTOR.
GOOD NIGHT.
OH, NO. OH, NO!
AAH!
LOOK OUT, LINUS.
THE GREAT PUMPKIN'S
RIGHT BEHIND YOU.
OH, NO, NO. I CAN'T TAKE THIS.
THIS IS TOO SCARY FOR ME.
WAIT A SECOND.
IF THAT'S NOT
COMING FROM THE T.V.,
THAT CAN MEAN ONLY ONE THING.
NO HARM IN
WATCHING A LITTLE T.V.
OK, THE WAY I SEE IT,
YOU PUT ALL THE
CANDY IN THE BOWL...
YOU PUT THE BOWL OUT THE DOOR...
AND YOU'RE THROUGH
FOR THE NIGHT.
WHAT DO YOU THINK
OF THAT, TOMMY?
YEAH, I LIKE IT,
CONSIDERING I JUST
SUGGESTED IT A MINUTE AGO.
DON'T SASS ME, PRIVATE.
TRICK OR TREAT.
OH, IT'S SELF-SERVE, HONEY.
WHAT?
TRICK OR TREAT.
I JUST TOLD...
HEY, WHAT HAPPENED
TO ALL THE CANDY?
THE POPE TOOK IT.
NICE PLAN, TOMMY.
DON'T YOU HAVE ANYTHING ELSE?
UH, YEAH. GIVE ME A SECOND.
SO, UH...
HOW ARE THINGS?
UH, PRETTY GOOD.
ALL RIGHT. UH, HERE YOU GO.
WHAT IS IT?
HALF POUND OF HAMBURGER MEAT.
ENJOY!
TRICK OR TREAT.
DON'T BOTHER.
ALLS THEY GOT LEFT IS BEEF.
UGH!
HEY! THAT BETTER NOT
HAVE BEEN THE POPE!
THAT'S IT! YOU'RE
TOAST, PONTIFF.
OH, DICK!
I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE HOME.
OH, YES, HOME.
WHERE I SHOULD HAVE
STAYED IN THE FIRST PLACE.
NO, DICK. IT'S WORSE HERE.
IMPOSSIBLE, HARRY.
OUT THERE IS A
ROOM FULL OF PEOPLE
WHO ARE ALL LAUGHING AT ME.
BUT INSIDE IT'S
ALL SAFE AND WARM
AND FILLED WITH...
GHOSTS.
DID I SAY GHOSTS?
I'M AFRAID SO. I'M AFRAID, TOO.
HOLD ME.
OH, HARRY. WE'RE ACTING SILLY.
HOW CAN WE BE SURE
WE HAVE A GHOST?
I'M SOLD.
WHY DOES THIS
ALWAYS HAPPEN TO US?
NO, IN... IN ALL FAIRNESS, DICK,
THIS IS OUR FIRST GHOST.
THAT'S TRUE. WE'VE
BEEN VERY FORTUNATE.
YES, WE HAVE.
HARRY, DO YOU HEAR THAT?
YEAH, IT SOUNDS LIKE FOOTSTEPS.
THEY'RE COMING
CLOSER AND CLOSER.
Voice: YOO HOO.
AAH! AAH!
DICK?
SO WHAT DO YOU THINK, HARRY?
3 BY 5? YEAH.
DICK?
OH, WELL, HELLO, MARY.
WHAT'S GOING ON?
WHY DID YOU LEAVE
THE PARTY LIKE THAT?
I DIDN'T MEAN TO WORRY YOU.
YOU DIDN'T WORRY
ME. YOU TOOK MY CAR.
WHERE ARE MY KEYS?
OH, I'M SORRY ABOUT
YOUR CAR, MARY,
BUT THERE ARE MORE IMPORTANT
THINGS TO WORRY ABOUT.
WE HAVE A GHOST!
OH, YOU'RE BEING SILLY.
THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS GHOSTS.
OH, NO? OH, NO?
YES!
IF YOU WANT TO BE
SCARED OF SOMETHING,
BE SCARED OF WHAT A
COWARD YOU'VE BECOME.
AND STAY OUT!
NOW WHO'S A COWARD?
OH, YEAH. I'VE
SEEN THESE BEFORE.
JUMBO GRADE A, EXTRA
LARGE, FARM FRESH.
IT DOESN'T HAVE THE STREET VALUE
OF THE ORGANIC BROWN,
BUT IT'LL DO.
YOU'VE GOT THE WRONG GUY, LADY.
CAN I MAKE A PHONE CALL?
SHUT UP!
LISTEN, KID, WE CAN
DO THIS ONE OF 2 WAYS.
EITHER YOU CAN TELL US
WHAT WE WANT TO KNOW,
OR YOU CAN SPEND
THE REST OF THE NIGHT
PICKING SHELL OUT OF YOUR TEETH.
WHO YOU WORKIN' FOR, PUNK?
I DON'T KNOW WHAT
YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.
OK. LET'S START OVER.
NO, I'M GOING TO TAKE THIS EGG
AND GRIND IT INTO HIS FACE.
LIEUTENANT, YOU'RE OUT OF LINE.
NOW GO COOL OFF.
OK, I'M GOOD. I'M COOL.
I APOLOGIZE FOR MY PARTNER.
SHE DOESN'T HAVE MUCH PATIENCE.
NOW ME? I WANT TO HELP YOU.
AND I CAN TALK HER
INTO GOING EASY ON YOU,
IF YOU JUST TELL ME ONE THING.
WHO'S THE POPE?
I DON'T KNOW THE POPE.
MAYBE I COULD HAVE SEEN
HIM AT SCHOOL OR SOMETHING.
WELL, THAT'S TOO BAD, KID.
NOW YOU'VE INSULTED ME.
I'M GOING FOR A WALK.
SALLY? HE'S ALL YOURS.
KID, RIGHT NOW I WOULDN'T
TRADE PLACES WITH YOU
FOR THE WORLD.
SO...
HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS?
WELL, HARRY,
WE HAVEN'T HEARD FROM THE GHOST
IN QUITE A WHILE NOW,
SO I GUESS IT'S SAFE TO SAY
THAT IT'S VACATED THE PREMISES.
I AGREE.
OH, DICK?
HMM-MMM.
IS THAT A GHOST COMING
THROUGH THE VENT?
YEP.
MEET YOU IN THE LIVING ROOM?
OK.
AAH! AAH!
AAH!
WHO YOU GONNA CALL, DICK?
GHOSTBUSTERS.
ARE YOU CRAZY?
IT'S THEIR BUSIEST
NIGHT OF THE YEAR.
OK, HERE'S THE DEAL.
THE GHOST GETS THE BASEMENT,
THE APARTMENT, AND THE RAMBLER,
AND WE KEEP THE CLOSET.
THAT SEEMS FAIR.
WE CAN SPRUCE UP THE PLACE
WITH SOME YELLOW SLICKERS.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S
THE MATTER WITH ME.
I WANT TO BE BRAVE
BUT I'M TOO AFRAID.
DICK, IN ORDER TO BE BRAVE,
YOU MUST FIRST
START BY BEING AFRAID.
FOR TRUE COURAGE LIES IN
THE OVERCOMING OF FEAR,
NOT IN ITS ABSENCE.
THAT'S BRILLIANT, HARRY.
WHO SAID THAT?
BLUE POWER RANGER.
OH.
THE GROCERY STORE
HAD 4 DOZEN LEFT.
I BOUGHT 'EM ALL.
AAH. FREE RANGE.
ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT.
I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE.
I'LL TELL YOU EVERYTHING.
WHO'S THE POPE?
THE POPE IS WALLY TAYLOR.
HE LIVES AT 215
WEST DIVISION STREET.
HOW DO WE KNOW
YOU'RE TELLING THE TRUTH?
I GOT NO REASON TO LIE.
ANYBODY WHO'D RAT OUT
HIS FRIENDS MAKES ME SICK.
GET OUT OF HERE.
RUN, LADY! THEY'RE CRAZY.
WHAT DID YOU DO TO
THE BERNSTEIN BOY?
WE WORKED HIM OVER.
HE GAVE IT UP.
THE PERP IS WALLY TAYLOR.
ALL RIGHT. COME ON, TOMMY.
WE'RE THROUGH HERE.
UH, THERE ARE NO EGGS
ON THE OUTSIDE OF MY HOUSE.
THEY'RE ALL IN HERE.
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
AH, DON'T THANK US.
JUST DOING OUR JOB, MA'AM.
AAH! DUCK!
WHAT?
OH, MY GOD!
SO IT WASN'T THE POPE.
IT WAS BATMAN ALL ALONG.
♪ CASPER, THE FRIENDLY GHOST ♪
♪ THE UNFRIENDLIEST
GHOST I KNOW ♪
NO, COME ON, HARRY. KEEP GOING.
YEAH, MORE LIKE KEEP
GOING TO THE BATHROOM.
BEING SCARED IS POINTLESS.
IT'S JUST BIOCHEMICAL FUZZ
IN THE LINT TRAP OF YOUR MIND.
WHOA! YOU'VE BEEN BOBBING
FOR SOME FUNKY APPLES, MAN.
HARRY, I'VE LET FEAR
RUN MY LIFE LONG ENOUGH.
I'M NOT GOING TO LIVE
THIS WAY ANY LONGER.
INTELLIGENT PEOPLE
DON'T BELIEVE IN GHOSTS.
YEAH, THEY DON'T
BELIEVE IN ALIENS EITHER.
OH, SHUT UP.
IT'S COMING FROM
BEHIND THOSE BOXES.
GIVE ME A HAND, HARRY.
NO. ABSOLUTELY NOT.
IF THE GHOST WANTS
TO SCARE US TO DEATH,
HE CAN JUST MOVE HIS OWN BOXES.
WILL YOU JUST DO IT, HARRY?
DID YOU BRING THE HOLY WATER?
NO.
WELL, WHAT'S THAT?
SANKA.
IS IT HOLY?
WELL, I DON'T KNOW.
BUT IT'S DEFINITELY
DECAFFEINATED.
THIS IS THE HIGH COMMANDER.
BY THE POWER VESTED IN ME,
BY THE MAXWELL
HOUSE CORPORATION,
I COMMAND THAT YOU
DEPART FROM THIS WORLD,
AND RETURN TO YOUR SOURCE.
Dick & Harry:
AAH! AAH!
AAH!
IT'S THE GHOST OF MRS. DUBCEK.
WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?
I'VE BEEN DOWN HERE
SCREAMING FOR HOURS.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING DOWN HERE?
MY LIGHTER WENT DOWN YOUR VENT,
I WENT TO LOOK FOR
IT IN THE CRAWLSPACE,
AND I GOT STUCK.
OH. OH.
WELL, WHAT ABOUT THE SMOKE
AND THE ELECTRICITY GOING OUT?
I COULDN'T FIND MY DARN LIGHTER,
SO I HAD TO SHORT OUT A 220 LINE
TO LIGHT MY CIGARETTE.
THAT REMINDS ME. I
NEED A CIGARETTE.
HARRY?
HARRY, LOOK AT ME.
I'M NOT AFRAID ANYMORE.
IT'S GREAT. I FEEL
I CAN ACCOMPLISH
ANYTHING I PUT MY MIND TO.
ANYTHING, HARRY.
ANYTHING.
WOW, DICK!
YOU'VE JUST DEFEATED
YOUR OWN FEARS.
WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO NOW?
I'M GOING FOR A ROUTINE CHECKUP.
I REALLY DON'T KNOW WHAT I WAS
SO SCARED ABOUT, DR. HOWARD.
THE BLOOD PRESSURE
TEST WAS A PIECE OF CAKE.
MY URINE SAMPLE WAS...
PLENTIFUL, TO SAY THE LEAST.
YOU KNOW, IT'S AMAZING.
ONCE YOU BRING YOUR
FEARS OUT INTO THE LIGHT,
YOU SEE THERE'S REALLY
NOTHING TO BE AFRAID OF.
GOOD TO HEAR IT, DICK.
YOU KNOW, IN A WAY...
EVERY DAY IS HALLOWEEN FOR US.
YOU MEAN BECAUSE WE
HIDE BEHIND THESE BODIES,
PRETENDING TO BE
SOMETHING WE'RE NOT?
UH, YEAH.
SO, TOMMY, WHAT'S
WITH THE MUSTACHE?
WELL, GUYS, I'VE MADE
A LITTLE DECISION.
THE MUSTACHE STAYS.
OH, THAT'S MUY MACHO.
YOU KNOW WHAT I'VE
LEARNED THIS HALLOWEEN?
THAT YOU SHOULD
ALWAYS BE BRAVE ENOUGH
TO FACE YOUR FEARS.
BECAUSE WHEN YOU DO,
IT'S ONLY MRS. DUBCEK
STUCK BEHIND A WALL.
ALWAYS? ALWAYS.
OK, SO I KNOW IT WAS
DUBCEK WHO WAS SCREAMING,
BUT DID YOU EVER FIGURE OUT
WHO WAS RATTLING THOSE CHAINS?
OH, YES. THAT'S THE
GHOST OF MR. FERGUSON.
DUBCEK SAYS HE WAS BRUTALLY
MURDERED IN OUR APARTMENT
14 YEARS AGO THIS VERY NIGHT.
OH. OH. OH.
♪ THERE'S A LAND
THAT I HEARD OF ♪
♪ ONCE IN A LULLABY ♪
♪ IF HAPPY LITTLE
BLUEBIRDS FLY ♪
BEYOND THE RAINBOW ♪
♪ WHY OH WHY ♪
♪ CAN'T ♪
♪ I? ♪
DEAN'S OFFICE CALLED.
THEY SAY YOU NEVER
HAD YOUR PHYSICAL.
HOW CAN THEY SAY THAT?
SO YOU DID TAKE YOUR PHYSICAL?
I DID NOTHING OF THE SORT.
EVERYONE WHO WORKS
HERE HAS TO TAKE ONE.
OH.
I'VE SCHEDULED YOU WITH
DR. HOWARD FOR THIS AFTERNOON.
OH, WELL, DR. HOWARD
IS IN FOR A TREAT.
I AM A MASTERPIECE. A
PERFECT HUMAN BEING.
NOT A STRAND OF
DNA OUT OF PLACE.
HE'LL PROBABLY WANT MY
ORGANS TO PUT ON DISPLAY.
YEAH, THE SOONER THE BETTER.
OH, YEAH.
OH, NICE PLACE.
IT'S, UH... A BIT STERILE.
AND YOU COULD USE A
TOUCH OF POTPOURRI
TO MASK THIS SOMEWHAT
DISTURBING SMELL.
BUT IT'S NICE AND BRIGHT,
IN A GLARING,
FLUORESCENT SORT OF WAY.
HAVE A SEAT.
CRUNCHY.
NOW YOU CAN GO
AHEAD AND DISROBE.
RIGHTO. I'LL JUST
BE NAKED HERE...
IN THIS COLD ROOM...
WITH THESE STRANGE MACHINES...
GLEAMING INSTRUMENTS...
WHOSE FUNCTION I
CAN ONLY IMAGINE.
AAH!
NOW, NOW...
NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT. AAH!
AAH!
WILL SOMEBODY
MAKE THAT MUSIC STOP!
DICK, I'LL BE WITH
YOU IN A MINUTE.
THE HELL YOU WILL!
HALLOWEEN IS SUCH A RIP!
THERE'S NO BIG MEAL,
YOU DON'T GET THE DAY OFF,
AND ON TOP OF THAT,
IT'S MEANINGLESS.
ACTUALLY, SALLY, UH,
HALLOWEEN IS REVERED
AS THE DAY WHEN THE GRAVES YAWN
AND THE DEAD RISE.
PLUS YOU GET TO STICK
CANDY CORNS UP YOUR NOSE.
THE MOST RIDICULOUS
THING HAPPENED TODAY.
WHOA! GET READY FOR THE ZINGER.
I HAD TO TAKE A PHYSICAL.
AH HA HA!
THAT'S NOT THE LEAST BIT FUNNY.
BUT WHEN I GOT TO THE DOCTOR'S,
FOR SOME REASON I GOT SCARED,
AND I HAD TO LEAVE.
WELL, WHAT DO YOU
HAVE TO BE SCARED OF?
THESE BODIES, THEY'RE HUMAN.
THEY CAN'T TELL YOU'RE AN ALIEN.
YEAH, I MEAN, BESIDES,
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN TO
THE DOCTOR FOR YOUR FOOT.
BUT THAT WAS TO FIX SOMETHING.
NOW HE'S JUST GOING
IN LOOKING FOR TROUBLE.
SO, DICK, DID YOU
GO TO THE DOCTOR?
IF YOU'RE ASKING ME IF
I WENT TO THE DOCTOR,
YES, I WENT TO THE DOCTOR.
WHAT'D HE SAY?
OH, THE USUAL.
"HI. HOW ARE YOU?"
"WHERE ARE YOU
GOING? COME BACK!"
YOU'RE JUST BEING SILLY.
YOU'RE JUST LIKE MY COUSIN PAUL.
HE AVOIDED GOING TO THE DOCTOR.
KEPT PUTTING IT OFF
AND PUTTING IT OFF
UNTIL ONE DAY HE
JUST DROPPED DEAD.
SO HE NEVER HAD TO
GO TO THE DOCTOR?
OH, HEY, DICK, YOU
FORGOT YOUR LUNCH.
OH, THANK YOU, SALLY.
WHERE IS IT?
I FORGOT IT.
SALLY, I'M GLAD YOU'RE HERE.
I HAVE TO GO TO A
HALLOWEEN PARTY TONIGHT.
I WAS WONDERING IF YOU
COULD HOUSE-SIT FOR ME.
I'D HATE FOR NO ONE TO BE THERE
TO GIVE THOSE CUTE
LITTLE KIDS CANDY.
WHY?
BECAUSE, OTHERWISE, THE
LITTLE BRATS EGG YOUR HOUSE
AND COVER YOUR TREES
WITH TOILET PAPER.
SURE, ALBRIGHT. A
BEAUTIFUL WOMAN LIKE ME
HAS NO PLANS ON HALLOWEEN.
I'M SO SORRY. WHAT
WAS I THINKING?
NO, I MEAN IT. I ACTUALLY
HAVE NOTHING TO DO.
OH, THANK YOU SO MUCH.
DR. SOLOMON, IF YOU
DON'T GET YOUR PHYSICAL,
THEY'RE GONNA HOLD YOUR
PAYCHECKS UNTIL YOU DO.
OH, OH, NINA.
OF COURSE, I'LL GO. I'M
LOOKING FORWARD TO IT.
THAT'S BETTER.
COME WITH ME, NINA. PLEASE!
I CAN'T FACE THE DOCTOR ALONE.
WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF?
OH, I DON'T KNOW.
EVER SINCE I WENT THERE,
I'M SCARED OF EVERYTHING.
COME WITH ME, PLEASE!
ME? WHY DON'T YOU
ASK DR. ALBRIGHT?
MARY?
SEEING ME NAKED AND
VULNERABLE, QUIVERING WITH FEAR?
OH, HO, I WOULDN'T GIVE
HER THE SATISFACTION.
WELL, WHY DO I HAVE TO
GET THE SATISFACTION?
NINA, COULD YOU TIE MY GOWN?
DID YOU TURN IT AROUND YET?
YES.
DICK, GOOD TO HAVE YOU BACK.
HOW ARE YOU DOING?
FINE, DOCTOR. I FEEL FINE.
MY PULSE IS NORMAL,
BLOOD PRESSURE'S FINE.
LOOKS LIKE I'M GOOD TO
GO. THANK YOU, DOCTOR.
IF YOU DON'T MIND, DICK,
I'D LIKE TO TAKE A LOOK MYSELF.
NOW WHY DON'T YOU JUST...
OPEN YOUR MOUTH.
MM-MMM.
COME ON NOW, HONEY. OPEN
UP FOR THE NICE DOCTOR.
DICK, I CAN'T HELP YOU
IF YOU DON'T COOPERATE.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.
I'M HERE. I'M DISROBED.
I'VE DONE EVERYTHING YOU
COULD REASONABLY EXPECT.
NOW IT'S TIME FOR
ME TO GO. GOOD-BYE.
DICK, YOUR CLOTHES!
OH, KEEP 'EM!
NO POISON IN THAT ONE.
MORE RAISINS THAN I CARE FOR.
BUT THERE'S NO CRIME IN THAT.
WHO'S THAT SUPPOSED TO BE?
JULIUS AND ETHEL ROSENBERG.
I THINK THE GUY AT THE
STORE MADE A MISTAKE.
ALL RIGHT, COME ON,
GUYS, LOCK AND LOAD.
WE'RE GOING TO ALBRIGHT'S.
WHY? WHAT FOR?
IT'S HALLOWEEN, HARRY.
AND EVERY LITTLE
BRAT IN RUTHERFORD
IS HOPPED UP HIGHER
THAN A KITE ON M & Ms.
AND FROM WHAT I HEAR,
ALBRIGHT'S HOUSE IS GROUND
ZERO FOR DESTRUCTION.
OH, NO, THAT SOUNDS
TOO DANGEROUS.
YOU CAN COUNT ME OUT.
GOOD. STAY HERE, HARRY.
ALONE.
ALL ALONE.
I DON'T CARE.
ON HALLOWEEN.
FRIGHT NIGHT.
WHEN THE DEAD BECOME LIVING,
AND THE LIVING BECOME DEAD!
I DON'T CARE.
HI, HI, HI. TRICK OR TREAT.
OH... JULIUS AND
ETHEL ROSENBERG.
LOVELY COSTUMES. VERY NICE.
THANKS, DUBIE.
OH, HARRY, YOU'RE AN ALIEN.
I AM NOT!
I MEAN... YES.
ALL RIGHT, COME ON, TOMMY.
LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.
HAPPY HALLOWEEN.
Sally: YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
OH, FUDGE.
MY LIGHTER WENT
DOWN THE AIR VENT.
OH, HEY. HERE, I
GOT SOME MATCHES.
OH, THAT WOULD GET
ME THROUGH THIS PACK,
BUT WHAT AM I GONNA DO
FOR THE REST OF THE NIGHT?
OH, CHAIN SMOKE. YEAH.
OH, DOROTHY. YOU LOOK GREAT.
OH, I WANTED TO COME
AS A FLYING MONKEY,
BUT I SHAVED MY LEGS,
AND THE WHOLE LOOK FELL APART.
YOU'RE A RIOT, LITTLE DARLING.
ARRR, MATIES.
HEAVE TO WHILST I
HOIST ME JOLLY ROGER.
DICK, YOU'RE A PIRATE.
OH, THANKS A LOT.
WHAT?
YOU DIDN'T HAVE
TO TELL EVERYBODY.
WHO ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO BE?
I'LL GIVE YOU A HINT.
DICK, I DON'T THINK
WE'RE IN KANSAS ANYMORE.
OF COURSE. NANCY KASSEBAUM.
FORMER REPUBLICAN
SENATOR FROM KANSAS.
CARE FOR SOME SPINACH, CAPTAIN?
OH, SURE.
I DON'T REALLY HAVE ANY SPINACH.
WELL, THEN WHY DID
YOU GET MY HOPES UP?
HAVE YOU SEEN DR. ALBRIGHT?
WELL, WHAT IS SHE DRESSED LIKE?
UH, NANCY KASSEBAUM,
THE FORMER REPUBLICAN
SENATOR FROM KANSAS.
UH, WE HAVEN'T SEEN HER.
YEAH, I WOULD HAVE NOTICED THAT.
OH, THERE SHE IS.
SHE'S MINGLING WITH A SKELETON.
ARRR, LOOK WHO
THINKS HE'S SCARY.
WELL, I BE NOT A-FEARED OF YOU,
YOU BAG OF BONES.
NOW UNHAND ME FORMER WENCH.
HELLO, DICK.
DR. HOWARD?
SHIVER ME TIMBERS.
SO, DICK. WHERE ARE
YOUR BUCCANEERS?
UNDER MY BUCCAN-HAT.
DICK, I HEARD YOU RAN
OUT OF DR. HOWARD'S
OFFICE TODAY.
THAT'S NOT TRUE.
IT'S MY WORD AGAINST HIS.
IT'S NINA'S AND MY
WORD AGAINST HIS.
OH, GIVE IT UP.
OH, FINE. I LEFT YOUR OFFICE.
OH, YEAH. YEAH.
BUT IT WASN'T OUT OF FEAR, NO.
IT WAS OUT OF PROTEST.
OH, THIS SHOULD BE GOOD.
YOU DOCTORS.
YOUR A.M.A.s AND YOUR HMOs.
PEOPLE TREAT YOU LIKE GODS.
BUT YOU'RE JUST A BUNCH OF
MOUNTEBANKS AND CHARLATANS,
WITH YOUR "VACCINES",
AND YOUR "PENICILLINS."
OH, SURE, PEOPLE ARE
HEALTHIER NOW THAN EVER,
BUT AT WHAT COST?
WELL, I'LL HAVE NONE OF IT.
GOOD NIGHT, GOOD DOCTOR.
GOOD NIGHT.
OH, NO. OH, NO!
AAH!
LOOK OUT, LINUS.
THE GREAT PUMPKIN'S
RIGHT BEHIND YOU.
OH, NO, NO. I CAN'T TAKE THIS.
THIS IS TOO SCARY FOR ME.
WAIT A SECOND.
IF THAT'S NOT
COMING FROM THE T.V.,
THAT CAN MEAN ONLY ONE THING.
NO HARM IN
WATCHING A LITTLE T.V.
OK, THE WAY I SEE IT,
YOU PUT ALL THE
CANDY IN THE BOWL...
YOU PUT THE BOWL OUT THE DOOR...
AND YOU'RE THROUGH
FOR THE NIGHT.
WHAT DO YOU THINK
OF THAT, TOMMY?
YEAH, I LIKE IT,
CONSIDERING I JUST
SUGGESTED IT A MINUTE AGO.
DON'T SASS ME, PRIVATE.
TRICK OR TREAT.
OH, IT'S SELF-SERVE, HONEY.
WHAT?
TRICK OR TREAT.
I JUST TOLD...
HEY, WHAT HAPPENED
TO ALL THE CANDY?
THE POPE TOOK IT.
NICE PLAN, TOMMY.
DON'T YOU HAVE ANYTHING ELSE?
UH, YEAH. GIVE ME A SECOND.
SO, UH...
HOW ARE THINGS?
UH, PRETTY GOOD.
ALL RIGHT. UH, HERE YOU GO.
WHAT IS IT?
HALF POUND OF HAMBURGER MEAT.
ENJOY!
TRICK OR TREAT.
DON'T BOTHER.
ALLS THEY GOT LEFT IS BEEF.
UGH!
HEY! THAT BETTER NOT
HAVE BEEN THE POPE!
THAT'S IT! YOU'RE
TOAST, PONTIFF.
OH, DICK!
I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE HOME.
OH, YES, HOME.
WHERE I SHOULD HAVE
STAYED IN THE FIRST PLACE.
NO, DICK. IT'S WORSE HERE.
IMPOSSIBLE, HARRY.
OUT THERE IS A
ROOM FULL OF PEOPLE
WHO ARE ALL LAUGHING AT ME.
BUT INSIDE IT'S
ALL SAFE AND WARM
AND FILLED WITH...
GHOSTS.
DID I SAY GHOSTS?
I'M AFRAID SO. I'M AFRAID, TOO.
HOLD ME.
OH, HARRY. WE'RE ACTING SILLY.
HOW CAN WE BE SURE
WE HAVE A GHOST?
I'M SOLD.
WHY DOES THIS
ALWAYS HAPPEN TO US?
NO, IN... IN ALL FAIRNESS, DICK,
THIS IS OUR FIRST GHOST.
THAT'S TRUE. WE'VE
BEEN VERY FORTUNATE.
YES, WE HAVE.
HARRY, DO YOU HEAR THAT?
YEAH, IT SOUNDS LIKE FOOTSTEPS.
THEY'RE COMING
CLOSER AND CLOSER.
Voice: YOO HOO.
AAH! AAH!
DICK?
SO WHAT DO YOU THINK, HARRY?
3 BY 5? YEAH.
DICK?
OH, WELL, HELLO, MARY.
WHAT'S GOING ON?
WHY DID YOU LEAVE
THE PARTY LIKE THAT?
I DIDN'T MEAN TO WORRY YOU.
YOU DIDN'T WORRY
ME. YOU TOOK MY CAR.
WHERE ARE MY KEYS?
OH, I'M SORRY ABOUT
YOUR CAR, MARY,
BUT THERE ARE MORE IMPORTANT
THINGS TO WORRY ABOUT.
WE HAVE A GHOST!
OH, YOU'RE BEING SILLY.
THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS GHOSTS.
OH, NO? OH, NO?
YES!
IF YOU WANT TO BE
SCARED OF SOMETHING,
BE SCARED OF WHAT A
COWARD YOU'VE BECOME.
AND STAY OUT!
NOW WHO'S A COWARD?
OH, YEAH. I'VE
SEEN THESE BEFORE.
JUMBO GRADE A, EXTRA
LARGE, FARM FRESH.
IT DOESN'T HAVE THE STREET VALUE
OF THE ORGANIC BROWN,
BUT IT'LL DO.
YOU'VE GOT THE WRONG GUY, LADY.
CAN I MAKE A PHONE CALL?
SHUT UP!
LISTEN, KID, WE CAN
DO THIS ONE OF 2 WAYS.
EITHER YOU CAN TELL US
WHAT WE WANT TO KNOW,
OR YOU CAN SPEND
THE REST OF THE NIGHT
PICKING SHELL OUT OF YOUR TEETH.
WHO YOU WORKIN' FOR, PUNK?
I DON'T KNOW WHAT
YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.
OK. LET'S START OVER.
NO, I'M GOING TO TAKE THIS EGG
AND GRIND IT INTO HIS FACE.
LIEUTENANT, YOU'RE OUT OF LINE.
NOW GO COOL OFF.
OK, I'M GOOD. I'M COOL.
I APOLOGIZE FOR MY PARTNER.
SHE DOESN'T HAVE MUCH PATIENCE.
NOW ME? I WANT TO HELP YOU.
AND I CAN TALK HER
INTO GOING EASY ON YOU,
IF YOU JUST TELL ME ONE THING.
WHO'S THE POPE?
I DON'T KNOW THE POPE.
MAYBE I COULD HAVE SEEN
HIM AT SCHOOL OR SOMETHING.
WELL, THAT'S TOO BAD, KID.
NOW YOU'VE INSULTED ME.
I'M GOING FOR A WALK.
SALLY? HE'S ALL YOURS.
KID, RIGHT NOW I WOULDN'T
TRADE PLACES WITH YOU
FOR THE WORLD.
SO...
HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS?
WELL, HARRY,
WE HAVEN'T HEARD FROM THE GHOST
IN QUITE A WHILE NOW,
SO I GUESS IT'S SAFE TO SAY
THAT IT'S VACATED THE PREMISES.
I AGREE.
OH, DICK?
HMM-MMM.
IS THAT A GHOST COMING
THROUGH THE VENT?
YEP.
MEET YOU IN THE LIVING ROOM?
OK.
AAH! AAH!
AAH!
WHO YOU GONNA CALL, DICK?
GHOSTBUSTERS.
ARE YOU CRAZY?
IT'S THEIR BUSIEST
NIGHT OF THE YEAR.
OK, HERE'S THE DEAL.
THE GHOST GETS THE BASEMENT,
THE APARTMENT, AND THE RAMBLER,
AND WE KEEP THE CLOSET.
THAT SEEMS FAIR.
WE CAN SPRUCE UP THE PLACE
WITH SOME YELLOW SLICKERS.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S
THE MATTER WITH ME.
I WANT TO BE BRAVE
BUT I'M TOO AFRAID.
DICK, IN ORDER TO BE BRAVE,
YOU MUST FIRST
START BY BEING AFRAID.
FOR TRUE COURAGE LIES IN
THE OVERCOMING OF FEAR,
NOT IN ITS ABSENCE.
THAT'S BRILLIANT, HARRY.
WHO SAID THAT?
BLUE POWER RANGER.
OH.
THE GROCERY STORE
HAD 4 DOZEN LEFT.
I BOUGHT 'EM ALL.
AAH. FREE RANGE.
ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT.
I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE.
I'LL TELL YOU EVERYTHING.
WHO'S THE POPE?
THE POPE IS WALLY TAYLOR.
HE LIVES AT 215
WEST DIVISION STREET.
HOW DO WE KNOW
YOU'RE TELLING THE TRUTH?
I GOT NO REASON TO LIE.
ANYBODY WHO'D RAT OUT
HIS FRIENDS MAKES ME SICK.
GET OUT OF HERE.
RUN, LADY! THEY'RE CRAZY.
WHAT DID YOU DO TO
THE BERNSTEIN BOY?
WE WORKED HIM OVER.
HE GAVE IT UP.
THE PERP IS WALLY TAYLOR.
ALL RIGHT. COME ON, TOMMY.
WE'RE THROUGH HERE.
UH, THERE ARE NO EGGS
ON THE OUTSIDE OF MY HOUSE.
THEY'RE ALL IN HERE.
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
AH, DON'T THANK US.
JUST DOING OUR JOB, MA'AM.
AAH! DUCK!
WHAT?
OH, MY GOD!
SO IT WASN'T THE POPE.
IT WAS BATMAN ALL ALONG.
♪ CASPER, THE FRIENDLY GHOST ♪
♪ THE UNFRIENDLIEST
GHOST I KNOW ♪
NO, COME ON, HARRY. KEEP GOING.
YEAH, MORE LIKE KEEP
GOING TO THE BATHROOM.
BEING SCARED IS POINTLESS.
IT'S JUST BIOCHEMICAL FUZZ
IN THE LINT TRAP OF YOUR MIND.
WHOA! YOU'VE BEEN BOBBING
FOR SOME FUNKY APPLES, MAN.
HARRY, I'VE LET FEAR
RUN MY LIFE LONG ENOUGH.
I'M NOT GOING TO LIVE
THIS WAY ANY LONGER.
INTELLIGENT PEOPLE
DON'T BELIEVE IN GHOSTS.
YEAH, THEY DON'T
BELIEVE IN ALIENS EITHER.
OH, SHUT UP.
IT'S COMING FROM
BEHIND THOSE BOXES.
GIVE ME A HAND, HARRY.
NO. ABSOLUTELY NOT.
IF THE GHOST WANTS
TO SCARE US TO DEATH,
HE CAN JUST MOVE HIS OWN BOXES.
WILL YOU JUST DO IT, HARRY?
DID YOU BRING THE HOLY WATER?
NO.
WELL, WHAT'S THAT?
SANKA.
IS IT HOLY?
WELL, I DON'T KNOW.
BUT IT'S DEFINITELY
DECAFFEINATED.
THIS IS THE HIGH COMMANDER.
BY THE POWER VESTED IN ME,
BY THE MAXWELL
HOUSE CORPORATION,
I COMMAND THAT YOU
DEPART FROM THIS WORLD,
AND RETURN TO YOUR SOURCE.
Dick & Harry:
AAH! AAH!
AAH!
IT'S THE GHOST OF MRS. DUBCEK.
WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?
I'VE BEEN DOWN HERE
SCREAMING FOR HOURS.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING DOWN HERE?
MY LIGHTER WENT DOWN YOUR VENT,
I WENT TO LOOK FOR
IT IN THE CRAWLSPACE,
AND I GOT STUCK.
OH. OH.
WELL, WHAT ABOUT THE SMOKE
AND THE ELECTRICITY GOING OUT?
I COULDN'T FIND MY DARN LIGHTER,
SO I HAD TO SHORT OUT A 220 LINE
TO LIGHT MY CIGARETTE.
THAT REMINDS ME. I
NEED A CIGARETTE.
HARRY?
HARRY, LOOK AT ME.
I'M NOT AFRAID ANYMORE.
IT'S GREAT. I FEEL
I CAN ACCOMPLISH
ANYTHING I PUT MY MIND TO.
ANYTHING, HARRY.
ANYTHING.
WOW, DICK!
YOU'VE JUST DEFEATED
YOUR OWN FEARS.
WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO NOW?
I'M GOING FOR A ROUTINE CHECKUP.
I REALLY DON'T KNOW WHAT I WAS
SO SCARED ABOUT, DR. HOWARD.
THE BLOOD PRESSURE
TEST WAS A PIECE OF CAKE.
MY URINE SAMPLE WAS...
PLENTIFUL, TO SAY THE LEAST.
YOU KNOW, IT'S AMAZING.
ONCE YOU BRING YOUR
FEARS OUT INTO THE LIGHT,
YOU SEE THERE'S REALLY
NOTHING TO BE AFRAID OF.
GOOD TO HEAR IT, DICK.
YOU KNOW, IN A WAY...
EVERY DAY IS HALLOWEEN FOR US.
YOU MEAN BECAUSE WE
HIDE BEHIND THESE BODIES,
PRETENDING TO BE
SOMETHING WE'RE NOT?
UH, YEAH.
SO, TOMMY, WHAT'S
WITH THE MUSTACHE?
WELL, GUYS, I'VE MADE
A LITTLE DECISION.
THE MUSTACHE STAYS.
OH, THAT'S MUY MACHO.
YOU KNOW WHAT I'VE
LEARNED THIS HALLOWEEN?
THAT YOU SHOULD
ALWAYS BE BRAVE ENOUGH
TO FACE YOUR FEARS.
BECAUSE WHEN YOU DO,
IT'S ONLY MRS. DUBCEK
STUCK BEHIND A WALL.
ALWAYS? ALWAYS.
OK, SO I KNOW IT WAS
DUBCEK WHO WAS SCREAMING,
BUT DID YOU EVER FIGURE OUT
WHO WAS RATTLING THOSE CHAINS?
OH, YES. THAT'S THE
GHOST OF MR. FERGUSON.
DUBCEK SAYS HE WAS BRUTALLY
MURDERED IN OUR APARTMENT
14 YEARS AGO THIS VERY NIGHT.
OH. OH. OH.
♪ THERE'S A LAND
THAT I HEARD OF ♪
♪ ONCE IN A LULLABY ♪
♪ IF HAPPY LITTLE
BLUEBIRDS FLY ♪
BEYOND THE RAINBOW ♪
♪ WHY OH WHY ♪
♪ CAN'T ♪
♪ I? ♪