3 Below (2018–…): Season 2, Episode 7 - Asteroid Rage - full transcript

Unable to stop an asteroid hurtling toward Earth, Kubritz pleads with the royals to help destroy it by offering stored alien technology from Area 49B.

What is this?

We can afford intergalactic satellites,
but not a decent cup of joe.

The heck is that thing?

No, no, no!


We've got a code five!

Get me Colonel Kubritz,
the president...

And a janitor.
I spilled some coffee.

♪ One, two, three below! ♪

After a few days in here, I thought
you would be more willing to cooperate.

You let the Tarrons
slip through your fingers.

You broke the deal.

And now you're paying the price.

Sorry to interrupt, ma'am,
but we have a problem,

and it's headed to Earth fast.

Ah! It's coming!

Everyone, run for your lives!




Never to worry, young Homo sapien.

DJ Kleb is here to...

Seklos and Gaylen!

Uh, don't think that line will play, Krel.

What are you looking at...

- Oh, no!
- Everybody, out of the way!

- What is that?
- Look out!


- Whaaat?
- Tell me you got that on tape.

This meteorite is debris
from a category 20 meteor shower

originating from the Oxiom Galaxy
some 500 light-keltons away.

What? How did it get here?

This is the best dolly, ever!

Uh, guys!
Hey, what is that thing?

I-Is that red thingy
moving towards the green thing?

Um, is that green thingy us?

An asteroid the size of Arcadia
is set to make landfall in Arcadia

in approximately 24 horvaths.

Wait, if a rock that size
lands here, then...

The whole town would be destroyed.

Along with
the entire Western Seaboard.

Wait, the entire Western Seaboard?

Oh, please! This is Aja and Krel.

They can handle
a flying space pebble, right?

Our V-Strykers
routinely eliminated asteroids

whenever they entered Akiridion airspace.

Mother, activate your deep-space
laser technology.

That was destroyed
during our escape from Akiridion-5.

Then activate
your mid-space laser technology.

Destroyed when we crashed on Earth.

- How about your near-space laser tech?
- That would be Luug.

What the... You farted? Oh, oh, great!

Now, where was that magic
while I was filming, you diva?

Little brother, you need to build
a deep-space laser,

and you need to build it fast.

Such a device would require technology
that doesn't exist on this planet.

Communication systems
have been compromised.

Mother, end transmission now!

Please, don't. We need your help.

After what you put us through?
Why would we ever help you?

Because I wouldn't be calling

unless you were humanity's
best, last, and, I fear, only hope.

Varvatos Vex finds this plan
most foolhardy.

- That makes two of us.
- Make that three.

But we're out of good options here.

And if the colonel
has the resources we need,

she may be our best bad choice.

Not another step!

Our team won't hesitate
to turn you into flexel.

Oh, snap! She said "flexel," yo.

- Ah!
- You've brought backup. Smart.

So have I.

We have a code five.

The asteroid, we are aware.

What are your leaders doing about it?

We've been trying to draw up
a plan to intercept it,

but we fear the level
of engineering required

is beyond our current capabilities.

Area 49B has the most advanced
alien technological resources

this planet has to offer,
but unfortunately...

You don't know how to use them,
and that's where we come in.

So, you see, neither of us can solve
this problem without the other.

We have terms.

First, you will clear the base
of any nonessential personnel

and allow the king-in-waiting
to bring in his own team.

- Hey, guys!
- Yeah-heh!

Second, as soon as this mission is over,
we go our separate ways

and you leave us alone, for good.

- Fine, then we have a...
- Ahem.

Eh, DJ Kleb!

And finally, my team
will require 16, no, 60...

- Sixty cases of Nougat Nummies?
- Brain food.

You'll thank us later.

We agree to your terms.

Now, do we have a deal?

After you make the most sacred
of human oaths.


We have ourselves a deal.

Heh-hey-yo, it's the Palchuk!

- It's Aja.
- Don't worry about me.

- I'm doing something...
- Take out the trash!

I'm on the phone!
Anyway, just wait for the...

Ugh! Steve, this is serious.

We need to talk immediately. Call me.

Hoo-hoo! Aja message.


Steve, this is serious.

- We need to talk immediately. Call me.
- "We need to talk"?

Is Aja breaking up with me?

This is Kubritz's
convoy requesting security clearance.

Clearance granted.

Lieutenant McDay
to the comm building.

Lieutenant McDay to the comm building.

- Attention. Attention.
- Whoa!

Welcome to Area 49B.

Yes! I knew it!

I knew this place is real!



If you two tell anyone you came here,

that asteroid's gonna be
the least of your problems.

- Got it?
- Oh, yeah. Hear ya, Cap.

Loud and clear.

- Toby!
- What?

Think about the production value.
You know, if we survive.

We have a rocket standing by.

Roger that. Engage boosters.

Ready to land a team on the asteroid.

They can drill...

...a nuclear bomb
directly into its surface.

- And...
- Please, stop!

You're embarrassing your entire species.

At this current speed,
an asteroid of this magnitude

can only be disintegrated by a deep-space,
thermo-radiant pulse laser.

You think you can build that?


Does a larvox defecate
in the Kygons?

Yes. The answer is yes.

♪ Yes, I'm a stunner
I'm a beat lowrider ♪

♪ And I'm just banging beats
That is so mind-numbing ♪

♪ You can see me coming
That you can see me coming ♪

♪ That you can see me coming
That you can see me coming ♪

♪ That you can see me coming
You can see... you ♪

♪ And I'm just banging beats
So you can see me coming ♪

♪ Yes, I'm a stunner
I'm a beat lowrider ♪

♪ And I'm just banging beats
That is so mind-numbing ♪

♪ Yes, I'm a stunner
I'm a beat lowrider ♪

♪ And I'm just banging beats
So you can see me coming ♪

♪ Yes, I'm a stunner
I'm a beat lowrider ♪

♪ And I'm just banging beats
That is so mind-numbing ♪

♪ Yes, I'm a stunner
I'm a beat lowrider ♪

♪ And I'm just banging beats... ♪

Your thermal seater is prehistoric.

The construction
of this optical regulator is all wrong!

And this?

This is an engineering abomination!

- Toby, cola me.
- One Thunder Cola, coming up!

- Ooh, sorry, soldier!
- Nice shot.

T-minus two hours to impact.

How's it going, soldier?

I'm working as fast as I can. Geez!

You're worse than Ms. Janeth!

Laser is operational.

Target is in range.

Fire when ready, little brother.

- Ah, there you go!
- Good.

Target locked.

Firing in three, two...


- Go.
- Let's rock... this rock!


Foo-foo, foo-foo!
Foo-foo, foo-foo! Oh!

That's the most
beautiful thing I've ever seen.

Me, too.

Take a nice look.
It's the last thing you'll ever see.

Direct hit!

Yes! We did it!

Correction, I did it.

- Hmm!
- I mean, yay!

Go, teamwork.

Great Gaylen's core!

- What's happening?
- I don't know.

- It's some sort of feedback loop.
- Shut it off!

I can't! It's not responding!

System check underway.

- Wait.
- Backup generators are coming online.


- Oh, no.
- What happened?

The laser successfully detonated
the asteroid into pieces.

And how is that bad news?

Two big pieces.

Now both seaboards are doomed.

Uh, anyone wanna check
flights to Michigan?

I hear it's lovely this time of year.

Uh, is Aja...

- Hi.
- The royals are not here.

They're at Area 49B
destroying an extinction-level asteroid.

Oh-ho! Oh! So that's what this is about.

Whew! I... I totally thought
Aja was dumping me.

- Heh.
- Did you not hear me?

I just said there is
an extinction-level asteroid,

emphasis on extinction.

Yeah, that also doesn't sound good.
So, what's the plan?


Hey, let's roll.

Ah! We're totally going to gonna die!

T-minus 22 minutes to impact.

We need solutions, people.


The laser needs to be powered by
a steady stream of electrothermal energy.

So unless you have a 400-megaton
neutron bomb lying around...

Wait. A bomb isn't the only source
of electrothermal energy.

You have another in your custody.

But it'll take some convincing.


The queen-in-waiting is requesting
an audience with you.

I'm not here to harm you.

I just want to talk.




For an all-powerful queen-in-waiting,
you look awfully scared.

I'm not afraid.

Then why cower behind your protector?

Varvatos, put down your serrator.

I know you hate my family,

but right now we need
to put our differences aside.

An asteroid is headed for Earth.

And we've built a laser to destroy it,
but we need you to power it.

Tronos, please!

In less than 30 mekrons,
that asteroid is going to kill all of us,

and you with it.

If the asteroid is going to take down
the entire royal family,

I'm happy to go down with it.

- How is it going, Aja?
- I'm working on it.

Well, can you work faster?

We have confirmed that an asteroid
is headed for Arcadia.

Impact is likely within
the next 20 minutes.


- Experts suggest seeking shelter.
- What?

You have reached
Lenora Janeth's cell phone.

Leave a message.

Ms. Janeth... Lenora,
if this is truly the end,

I must tell you, I love you...

and your hair conditioner.

I want you to know
that you won her heart fair and square.

And Varvatos is at peace with it.

Have a glorious life together.

Phil, we need to talk.

"Out, out, brief candle."

I'm going to die,
and I've never been kissed!

Me either.

Aja, call me right now...
unless you're saving the world,

in which case, you know,
call me right after.

Can't you go any faster?

I borrowed this from Krel.

Whoa! It's blue.


- Whoo-hoo-hoo!
- Ah! This is not safe!

If you help us, we can help
get you out of this prison.

After the empty promises
your family has made before,

why would I trust you now?

You have no reason to,

not when there's a wall
standing between us.

Your Highness, what are you doing?

He'll eat you alive!

There are some risks worth taking.

I want to talk to him face-to-face.

I found the footage of Voltar.

I know what my parents did to your planet.

How dare you?

Stop, please!

I watched it, and it was horrible,
every secton of it.

And I know my parents
could have prevented it.

Listen to me!

I don't know why they didn't stop it,

but as a surviving member
of the royal lineage,

please accept my apology.

I didn't come here for your apology.

I know.
You can use your power.

Kill me right now,
and finally avenge Voltar...


...you can use
your power to save a planet

and the lives of everyone on it
who need your help,

just like Voltar needed my family's.


We can both be better than my parents.

Tell me how.

T-minus 90 seconds, people!

How are those repairs coming?

As finished as it's going to be.

Got our power source.

Oh, my gosh. Oh, my... Oh, my gosh.

Tronos, power up and direct
all your energy into the laser.

That works.

I still don't understand
how you got him to cooperate.

I showed him I understood.

Thirty seconds to impact!

I got me and my kid tickets
to the Gun Robot 7 premiere next month.

Fire the laser!

- Krel, punch it!
- Varvatos, get ready to split it.

Ready to fire in three, two...


So much production value!
So much production value!

I do this for you, Nancy Domzalski!


Satellites show no signs of debris.

Mission accomplished.

- Krel, you did it!
- Yes! We're alive!

Now, that is teamwork!

- Yeah-heh-heh!
- Yes!

We did it!


You did it! You did it, Tronos!

Thank you!

They betrayed me.

They will betray you, Your Highness.

He's in pain.
We have to do something!

Step aside.

Arm your neurometers.


He's getting away!

Uh, sorry, Lenora.

Don't know what you're talking about.

I-It must have been a butt dial.


It might sound counterintuitive,

but we offer a pretty swell internship
program here, unpaid.

Maybe one day.

I couldn't have done it
without my sister and my team.

I never doubted you for a secton.

It's been such a pleasure
working with you,

we couldn't bear
for you to leave just yet.

What's going on?

I thought we had a deal
with them, Colonel.

It wasn't a deal, it was a trap.

Dude, are you getting this?
A plot twist in the last reel!

Not a very good one, because I saw it
coming a light-kelton away.

Eli, DJ Kleb is here to party!

Hit the deck!

Whoa! Nice one, DJ Kleb!

- Oh!
- First you betray me,

then you betray them.

A deal must mean
something very different on Earth.

Oh, my gosh!
A double-cross on top of a double-cross?

Eli, this is exactly
what our script needs!

You're not getting away this time!

We should get out of here.
It's too dangerous!

Varvatos called for a ride.



Come with me
if you want to live.

- Tell me you got that.
- I did.

Steve? What are you doing here?

Heh, you know, just gettin'
my superhero on, saving the day.

Tronos! No!

We should hurry!

Sorry, we're a little late.

Traffic was apocalyptic.

Yes! Craft services!

Move out!

I'll catch you later.

- Such a pleasure...
- Living in Arcadia sure saves us

- on our special effects budget.
- Hit the deck!

Think we'll have to rent tuxedos
for the premiere?

- What's that?
- Uh, it's kind of like a fancy suit.

No, dude. That.

That looks like a spaceship.

Coordinates: 34 degrees north
and 118 degrees west.

You have arrived at your destination.

Welcome to Earth, Morando.

I trust the Tarrons know nothing
of my arrival.

They were too preoccupied
trying to stop your asteroid.

- You could've killed us all.
- A necessary diversion.

As promised, I give you these Omen robots
to aid in Earth's defenses.

It will be my honor to help you rid Earth
of all extraterrestrial life,

starting with the Tarron family.