3 Below (2018–…): Season 2, Episode 5 - Ill Gotten Gains - full transcript

Colonel Kubritz stages a phony quarantine of Arcadia High School in a ploy to capture the royals -- and their advanced weapons technology.

[Luug barking]

[panting, grunts]

[theme music playing]

♪ One, two, three below! ♪


- I upgraded your serrator like you asked.
- [Aja giggling]

It may be a little too strong for you.

Too strong for me?


Now I can actually manifest
an ionic boomerang.


I can't wait for the boom.

It's going to be hard to control.

I got this.

No, no, no!

[grunting, coughing]

- Kleb. Ugh!
- [panting]

I told you, you need to be focused.

I know. You'll see. [groans]

[Krel] Luug, drop the ball.

Now, Luug, prepare to be amazed
as your Mr. Happy Ball

travels through a wormhole
to another planet galaxies away.

- [whooshes]
- [Aja] Ah!

- [crashes]
- [Aja] Kleb.

[beeps, whooshing]

Attempt 37 is a go!

- [crackling]
- [gasps]

Seklos and Gaylen!

I-It's working?

[laughs] This time it's really...


- [Luug whines]
- ...ugh, busted.

[Mother] Good idea not testing
the wormhole on yourself, my royal.

I'm not a soolian, Mother. Oof!

If only I could counteract
the electromagnetic fields

and prevent the spaghettification.

Who's a good boy?

- [grunting]
- You are! Yes, yes, you are!

Now, go get another ball.

[laughs] Spaghettification.

Sorry, geezer,
but that's my new favorite human word!

[grunts, groans]

We need some sort of antigravity suction.

[gasps] You mean like the kind
that could lift a car into the sky

in the middle of Driver's Ed?

Aha! The Zeron's retrieval ray!

I told you I wasn't a soolian, Mother!

- That was my idea.
- [Luug barks]

Be good while we're gone, Luug.

And keep away from that wormhole.


Now, Luug, stay! [gasps]


- [Luug barks]
- Varvatos, what are you doing?

We're going on a retrieval mission.

Varvatos Vex cannot allow you to leave.

For once, Commander Vex and I
are in agreement.

I liked it better when they were arguing.

You've been summoned
by the local educational board

to partake in a different mission,
one we believe might be crucial

to maintaining your human identities.

Fine, but you have to pick
something up for us.

Mm, what's our mission?

- [school bell rings]
- Welcome to summer school!

All right, listen up, slackers.

This is boot camp for your brain.

Now... [stammers]
What? Aaarrrgghh?

- [grunting]
- [Lawrence] What are you doing here?

- [kids murmuring]
- Uh...

he's looking to expand
his educational horizons.

Also got hungry.

Just imagine if we got you
on the wrestling team.

We'd finally make it to state!

- [crowd cheering]
- [announcer] Aaarrrgghh wins again!

[clears throat] I'm getting
ahead of myself.

First, we gotta do attendance.

Wait, Tarron?
You don't belong here.

Finally, we agree on something.

Slow your roll, DJ Kleb.

Aja, it says you need to make up gym?

But you're my star athlete.

This doesn't make any sense.

There must be some mistake.

What are you in for?

I missed 45 days of school.

Apparently Trollhunting's
not good for your GPA.

- [Aaarrrgghh burps]
- You okay, wingman?


Education tasty. Huh?

[boy] Whoa, what's that?
What's going on?

- [all panting]
- [soldier] Come on. Go, go.

Stick to the cover story
and keep the neurometers charged, boys.

These aliens already slipped
through our fingers once.

Actually, ma'am, it happened twice.

It happened once.


- [soldier 1] No readings here.
- [soldier 2] Gonna check the gymnasium.

- What...
- [soldier 1] Scan for pathogens.

How can I help you, sir... uh, ma'am?

Colonel Kubritz,
Scientific Military Division.

There's been reports
of a localized biohazard.

We have to make sure no one is infected
with this foreign pathogen

- lest we have a full-blown outbreak.
- [detector clicking]

Outbreak? You don't think
it's Jim Lake disease?

No, because that isn't real.

What? I donated
to Eli's Walk for a Cure.

[giggling] Hey, watch it! Watch it!

- Hey! [giggles] Is this really necessary?
- [detector clicking]

[laughs, stammering]
The school's healthy, Doc.

I should know. I teach gym.

That's our judgment to make.

Unless you show me
there's really some sickness here,

I'm gonna ask you to leave.

- [alarm blaring]
- Huh? Uh, what, it's real?

And I... And I have it?

[stammering] What's the prognosis?

- Seal the premises.
- [Lawrence] Lock me up!

Level Seven Medical Quarantine.

I can feel it!
It's draining my life force.

Oh, God. It's in my veins!

- This school is now under my control.
- [gasping]

- No one gets in, no one gets out.
- [Lawrence screaming]

Why do I get the feeling these aren't
doctors who hand out lollipops?

Because these so-called "doctors"
are here...

- for us.
- [gasps]

Summer school... it's a trap!


[Zadra] According to Krel's directions,

we should be close
to the Zeron's spaceship.

[Luug barking]

[Vex] Not now, Luug.

We have a retrieval ray to retrieve
for the king-and queen-in-waiting.

- [Zadra] There it is!
- [Vex chuckles]

Aja and Krel said this mission
would be most dangerous!


- [creature roars]
- [Vex shouts]

[Luug growls, barking]


- [Luug whimpering]
- [creature snarling]


- Buster?
- Stay back.

This creature can be quite unpredictable.

[Luug barking]

[Vex] What are you doing, Luug?

- Hey, wait.
- [Buster snarling]

[Luug barking]

[groans] Huh?

[Luug barking]

It appears Luug has found himself
a new ally.

This is highly adorable.

[Vex laughs]

Exemplary work, Luug!

[Foo-Foo] Foo-foo!

- [Luug barking]
- [Foo-Foo laughing]

And have you noticed
anyone acting unusual lately?

- Like maybe they don't belong here?
- Uh, like him?

- That's Teddy.
- How's it going?

- He's cool. Anyone else?
- [Mary scoffs]

Welcome to Arcadia, soldier.

Being weird is, like, "our thing."

[soldier] Southwest wing all clear.

- This is bad.
- These people imprison extraterrestrials.

They won't have a problem
throwing you under a microscope either.

- Mmm, pass.
- [Krel] You guys get out of here.

We'll distract the guards' attention

and meet back up with you
at the mother ship.

Okay, are you guys sure about this?

- They're here for you.
- Hey!

Evil mad scientist henchmen.

Distraction! Distraction!

Your distraction is a little obvious.

[soldier] Get back to quarantine.

Let's see you quarantine this.

[Krel clears throat, chuckles]

- [soldier] It's them!
- [Krel] Now it's really obvious.

It's working, isn't it?

Hurry, hurry, hurry!

[Aja] And you said summer school
wouldn't be fun.

- [Krel] Ahh!
- Stop right there!

- Cover me!
- [soldier] You're surrounded. Halt!

[Aja shouting]

[both grunting]

- [both shouting]
- I-I can't see!


- [gasps]
- Oh, no.

[electricity crackling]

[Tronos roaring]

Running is useless.

[Aja] Ah!

- So is hiding.
- [neurometer charging]

- Focus, Aja.
- What does it look like I'm...

[all grunting]

Perhaps you didn't notice my medals.

You're not the only female
with combat training here.

- [growls]
- [Krel grunts]

I made a few upgrades
since our last meeting. [laughs]

Take them to gym class.

- Looks like school's back in session.
- [Aja grunts]

- [laughs] Nice one, ma'am.
- [sighs]

[clears throat]

[line ringing]

- Mm, no answer?
- Doesn't mean anything.

Aja and Krel's phone probably fell
in the toilet. We've all been there.

- [whimpers]
- Or...?

Hey, Aja and Krel said they've got this.

They're some of the strongest,
most butt-kicking-est warriors

I've ever seen.

Even strongest warrior needs wingman.

[sighs] Right. Get to the mother ship,
see if you can find Zadra and the big guy.

- I'll call in the cavalry.
- [grunts]

- "In the darkest hours..."
- QB Palchuk.

- Third down, double overtime.
- "...shall not rest until we destroy..."

- Touchdown! Ooh!
- Ow! Steve!

Focus on the oath.

If we want the Creepslayerz name
out there, we need a brand.

"Until we've slayed the creeps..."

- [yelps]
- Hey, that was a good rhyme, Cheese Slice.

I'm gonna drop a freestyle
right off the dome.


Now give me a beat.


♪ Ooh, my boy Eli and I saving the day ♪

♪ You creeps better hide
'Cause we came to slay ♪

♪ Creepin' in the shadows
We're not here to play ♪

♪ Cruising in Arcadia with his mom's car ♪

♪ Cheese Slice has a curfew
We can't go far... ♪

- [grunts, groans]
- Mic drop.

- Why don't you ever use the door?
- [wheezing]

Aja and Krel... in trouble...
summer school.

Oh, no!

I totally forgot I had summer school!

- [groans] Coach is gonna kill me.
- [Toby] No, this is serious.

Some evil, alien-hunting government agency
has them trapped.



Trapped? In school?

In the summer?

The ironing.

- You mean "irony."
- The ironing.

- You mean...
- No time!

Suit up, Pepperjack.
There's a princess to save.


And Krel, too.

[shouting] I can feel it eating me
from the inside.

- I'm a shell of a man! [gasping]
- [clears throat]

Now, what else can you tell me
about Aja and Krel?

But wh... why are you asking about them?

- I'm the one that's dying, aren't I?
- Uh...

- [panting]
- Um... right.

Hey, I thought you said
this was a medical quarantine.

[laughs nervously]

[soldier 1] The seals are set tight.

[soldier 2] We're using that
for the gene applications.

- Let's take these off.
- [detector clicking, beeping]



Where am I?


Krel! [straining]

Krel! Where are you? [grunts]

[Tronos] He's with Colonel Kubritz.

You're cooperating with her?

Is there no low you won't stoop to
for your precious bounty?

[Tronos] You think I care about crestons?

I'm doing this to avenge Voltar.

[Aja] Voltar was destroyed long ago.

[Tronos] Thanks to your parents.

They helped destroy my home world.

Liar! My parents are honorable.

Not as honorable as you think!

[gasps] Krel!

What did you do to him?

The same thing I'm going to do to you.

With your weaponry in my hands,

I'll be able to wipe
every last alien threat from existence...

- [Aja gasps, grunting]
- [Kubritz laughing]

...for good.

Akiridion technology is meant
to ensure peace, not bloodshed.

[Krel coughing]

- Aja?
- [Aja] It's okay, little brother.

Once I finish dissecting you,

Mr. Madu will get your remains
and his bounty,

and I'll get the technology
that you leave behind.

[Luug barking]

[Zadra] Aja and Krel must be having
the time of their lives

in that "school of summer."

[Vex] While we labor
with this confounded technology.

- [barking]
- [snarling]

- Foo-foo!
- Foo-foo!

Varvatos recognizes those ears anywhere.

[gasps] Foo-Foos.

[Foo-Foos shouting "foo-foo"]

[Foo-Foo the Miniscule] Commanders
Varvatos Vex and Zadra of Akiridion-5.

Thought you could give us the slip, huh?

How are there always so many of you?

Varvatos destroyed scores of you
on the moon.

You left two of us alive.

- In a week we were...
- A hundred strong!

- And by next week, we will be...
- A thousand strong!

Aw, my little Foo-Foo the Mighty.

No wonder they reproduce so quickly.

- Never let our Foo-Foo magic die!
- [Vex] Enough!

Prepare your heads to be bopped!

Ha ha!

- [weapon charges]
- [Foo-Foo shouts]

- Foo-foo!
- [barking, growling]

- [Foo-Foos laughing]
- [Luug snarling]

Luug, this is not playtime!

[Foo-Foo screaming]

- Ah! Wuvvy bunny!
- [Foo-Foo screaming]

- [gasps] Oh...
- [screaming continues]

- Barbaric!
- [screaming continues]


- Ready to join in? Ah!
- [laughing]

- [Steve] We're coming, Aja!
- [Eli] Whoa! Don't have a panic attack.

Don't have a... panic...

[soldier 1 clears throat] Hmm?

Oh! [grunts]

- Okay, coast is...
- [soldier 2] Hey!

You're supposed to be... d'oh!


- [laughing]
- [soldier 2 groaning]

Oopsie-daisy. Ha ha!

[Eli clears throat] Steve,
what did we talk about?

Fine, no stuffing people
into lockers. I get it.

Okay, we'll split up.
You and I save Aja and Krel.

Eli, go rescue everybody else.

[gasps] Yes! High-five!


[soldier 2 groans]

Don't... panic...

[Kubritz] If this serrator can slice
so easily through metal,

imagine what it can do to your bodies.

[chuckles] No. No, no, no.
No need to imagine.

I am sure it would hurt really bad.

- Only one way to find out.
- [doors open]

Looks like class is... [grunts]

Class is dis... [grunts]

Class is dismissed. It's dismissed!

- [soldier] Hey, you can't be in here!
- Is that Toby?

- Steve!
- My warrior princess!

[laughs] That's what he calls you?

In a moment,
he won't call you anything again.

Kleb! How did you do that?

[grunts] No one messes with our friends!

[Kubritz yelps, grunts]

[grunting] Yah!

- Let me show you how to properly use this.
- [laughing]


- [grunts]
- Aja! Are you okay, Aja?

How many fingers am I holding up?
What's today's date?

What's the capital of Alaska?

- You came to rescue me.
- Always.

That's what incredibly
good-looking boyfriends do.

Ugh! Please kill me or just cut me loose.

[Toby] Guys! Royals! Someone!
We gotta go!

If no one has Jim Lake disease,
then why won't you let us go?

[soldier] No one's leaving.

That's what you think.
Stink bomb!

- [soldier] Oh!
- Yes!

[kids shouting] Ew!

[soldier] You realize I'm wearing
an airtight suit, right?


- [Darci] Ew, ew, ew, ew!
- [soldier groaning]

- [Darci] Ew! That was sick, Eli!
- Wait.

But, like, cool sick, right?

- Ah!
- [soldier] Boy! Hey, hey!

The hazmat guys blocked all the exits.
Get to the roof.

We can't leave you guys here!

- Don't worry. We'll hold them off.
- Aja!

- [banging on door]
- [kisses, chuckles] My warrior oaf.

Really not the time, Aja.

- [electricity crackling]
- Ah!

- [Aja whimpers]
- What the...?


[both grunt]


[soldier] Hey!
You kids are in a lot of trouble.

- [Toby screaming]
- [soldiers shouting]

- [Aja] No, no, no!
- [Krel shouts]

[both grunt]

Going somewhere?

Tronos, you're working
with the wrong people.

Colonel Kubritz is using you.

Please help us.


When my planet was besieged by war,
we begged House Tarron for help.

When we needed help the most,
they left Voltar to burn.

Our parents would never do that.

Mama and Papa didn't help
Varvatos' family either.

Don't believe his lies, Aja.

I would have ended the king and queen
myself if I had the chance,

but I'll settle for the two of you.

- [Krel] Focus, Aja.
- [Aja] Stay away from our school!

[Tronos] You'll have to be
a quicker shot than that.

- [laughs]
- It works!

It's coming back!


That? That's what it does?

Klebtastic, right? More shooting!

- [roars]
- [Aja screams]

[Aja shouting]

[Krel] To the left! Right! Left!

- [shouting]
- [Krel] No, no, no! Right again!

- Right! Right!
- [roars]

Aim! Aja, aim!

Hold on! I have an idea!

No, Aja, don't!

[Krel screaming]

- [groans] I hate your ideas.
- [sighs]

On the bright side, we survived the fall.

When I'm done with you,
you'll wish you hadn't! [roars]



[Aja grunting]

Yah! [grunts]

No, no, no!

[Krel grunts]


[neurometer zaps]

Drop the serrators
and put your hands in the air.

I said you'll get your cores
when I'm done, not before.

- Throw him in the van. [laughing]
- [soldiers grunting]

Oh, don't cry.

I'm sure you'll find our detention center
quite comfortable.

- [footsteps approach]
- [gasps]

Hey! The only one who gets to send
these kids to detention is me!

You tell her, Dad... I mean, Coach.

Uh, Coach-Dad. Uh... D-Daddy-o?

Stand down, sir.

You have no idea how dangerous
this situation is.

[Darci scoffs] Dangerous?

These are our friends.
What have they even done?

You lied to me once,
and now you're lying to me twice.

I'm not dying, so what's
this medical quarantine really about?

These children aren't from around here.

They may be carrying disease

and need to be removed
for the safety of this community.

Sorry, could you repeat that?

You know, the part about how the kids
"who aren't from around here"

are "dangerous" and "sick"
and "need to be removed"?

I'm sure that's gonna sound great
in a viral video.

[phones chiming]

[soldiers clearing throats nervously]

Whoa! Lively!

Colonel, we need to go.

Take a hike, okay?

Before I call the school board.

Move out.
This facility has been cleared.

[soldier 1] You heard her.
We were never here.

- [soldier 2] Move it out.
- This isn't over.

- [Steve laughs]
- Yes! We did it!

- Ugh!
- We're great.

- Together, all of us.
- [Eli] Yeah! Good job!

- [squeals] Thank you!
- [laughs] That's my boy!

Coach-Dad... ugh!

Dad-Coach-Dad... [stammering]

Whatever, please!

I can't believe you all came to help us.

We don't know what to say.

Aw, it's nothin'!

The only way to survive
all of Arcadia's weirdness is if you...

Stick together! Yeah!

High-five! Ha.

- There, there.
- [all laugh]

Oh, that feels so good right now.

[guitar music playing]

- [panting]
- Zadra?

Where's Luug?

Retrieval ray retrieved.

[Vex screaming]

- Is that...?
- Yes!

Next time, you two may venture
on the quest yourselves.

And good luck retrieving the retrieval ray
out of that thing's mouth.

[Zadra] We tried everything.

- [Luug barking]
- [Buster snarling]


Luug, drop the ball.

Who's a good boy?

Yes, you are! Yes!
Yes, you are!

Now your turn.

- [roars]
- [chuckles]

[Vex groans]

[Buster heaving]


- [Krel] Ugh!
- [Luug farts]

[barks, farting]

Huh, good shot.

[Mother] Good evening, my royal.

Mother, can you please access
the royal records?

What would you like to see tonight?
Your parents' marital ceremony?

Their coronation?

[gasps] Oh, I might suggest
your fifth birthday.

No. Show me everything
on the destruction of planet Voltar.

Are you certain, my royal?

You may not like what I have to share.

I don't have to like it.
I just need to know the truth.

[Tronos] You can't do this!

We had a deal, Kubritz!

And you defied my authority.

The Akiridions escaped.

Throw him back in his cell.


[Tronos growling]

- [grunts]
- [comm crackles]

- [Morando] Hello, Colonel.
- [gasps]

- I've been watching you.
- Identify yourself.

Who are you? Ah!

Someone who wants to help you
rid your planet of Akiridion life-forms

once and for all.


[theme music playing]