2 Broke Girls (2011–2017): Season 2, Episode 24 - And the Window of Opportunity - full transcript

Han is frantic when a Health Inspector visits the diner. Max and Caroline unexpectedly find a new place for their cupcake business after trying to find other means of making money. Sophie and Oleg break up after he cheats on her.

- I CAN'T BELIEVE HAN IS MAKING
US TIDY UP THIS DAMN DINER.

IT'S LIKE PUTTING
A PRETTY CHURCH HAT ON A WHORE.

- COME ON, HARDER, FASTER!
DO IT FASTER AND HARDER.

- DING! WHAT IS, "THINGS HAN
SAYS TO A MALE HUSTLER," ALEX.

- NO TIME FOR JOKES, MAX.

THE HEALTH INSPECTOR
WILL BE HERE SOON,

AND I NEED TO GET
THAT "A" RATING.

- THIS DINER GETTING AN "A"
FOR CLEANLINESS

WOULD BE LIKE ME GETTING AN "A"
FOR A BRA SIZE.

- OH, IT WILL HAPPEN.
I DID A THOROUGH JOB.

- IS HE MAKING OMELETS
OR CRYSTAL METH?

- OLEG, YOU LET HAN PUT YOU
IN TWO HAIR NETS?

- THREE.
I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT.

- ¶ OOH OOH OOH OOH OOH

[cash register bell dings]

¶ OOH OOH OOH OOH OOH
OOH OOH ¶

- SORRY I'M LATE.
I WAS HAVING MY NAILS DONE.

IT'S THE FIRST TIME
I STOPPED MOVING IN TWO YEARS,

AND I FELL ASLEEP.

- YOU HAD MONEY TO GET
YOUR NAILS DONE?

QUESTION: WAS PROSTITUTION
AS DISGUSTING

AS YOU THOUGHT IT WOULD BE?

- HAN PAID FOR IT.

- OH, SO IT WAS WORSE.

- THERE SHE IS.

THERE'S MY SHOW PONY.

LET ME SEE THEM DIGITS.

I WANT YOU TO BE THE FIRST THING
THE HEALTH INSPECTOR SEES

WHEN HE ENTERS.

YOU'RE JUST SO BLONDE
AND CLEAN.

- HEY! WHERE'S MY MANICURE?
HOW COME I DON'T GET ANYTHING?

- OH, I HAVEN'T FORGOTTEN YOU.
HERE'S 50 BUCKS.

BEAT IT UNTIL
THE INSPECTOR LEAVES.

- SOME WOULD BE INSULTED.
I'M GONNA ASK FOR $75.

- AND, YOU ARE GOING TO GET IT.

- I HAVE EXCITING NEWS.
AT THE NAIL SALON,

I HEARD ABOUT THIS AMAZING
SEMINAR WE SHOULD GO TO.

- [laughs] OH, NO, NO, NO.

I WENT TO A SEMINAR ONCE.

I WAS ALMOST MARRIED
TO 300 KOREANS.

- IT'S A BRANDING SEMINAR
FOR BUSINESS OWNERS

TO DEFINE WHO THEY ARE
AND GET THEM PRIMED AND READY

FOR THEIR WINDOW
OF OPPORTUNITY.

- I THINK I'D RATHER BE MARRIED
TO 300 KOREANS.

THEN I COULD GET MY NAILS DONE
WHENEVER I WANTED.

- MAX, THIS IS THE REAL DEAL.

THE WOMAN WHO RUNS IT
IS A BRANDING GENIUS.

SHE CREATED THE NIKE
"JUST DO IT."

- OH, THAT WOMAN
DIDN'T MAKE UP "JUST DO IT."

HIGH SCHOOL BOYFRIENDS HAVE BEEN
USING THAT FOR CENTURIES.

- YOU'RE STILL HERE!

WHAT'S IT GONNA TAKE,
ANOTHER $10?

- HEY, I DON'T NEED A SEMINAR.

I FOUND A BRAND THAT'S GONNA
GET ME RICH--OBNOXIOUS!

- OKAY, EARL, HOW IS CLEANING
YOUR AREA COMING ALONG?

- I'VE GOT DECADES
OF NAPKINS OVER HERE

WITH ALL MY OLD IDEAS ON THEM.

APPARENTLY,
NAPKINS WERE THE OLD TWITTER.

- HELLO.

COULD YOU TELL THE OWNER

THE HEALTH INSPECTOR
HAS ARRIVED?

- OH, YOU ARE A WOMAN.

- THANK YOU FOR NOTICING.

ARE YOU HAN LEE?

- HEY, HAN, IS THIS THE--

- SO WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE
TO START?

- SADLY, THE MEN'S ROOM.

GROUND ZERO.

- I WILL JOIN YOU
IN A SECOND.

IS IT MISS OR MRS. ROTELLO?

- IT'S MISS.
THANK YOU FOR ASKING.

I'LL SEE YOU AT THE TOILETS.

GROUND ZERO JUST GOT
A LOT NICER.

- HAN, I THINK THAT HEALTH
INSPECTOR WANTS TO INSPECT YOU.

- STOP! IF SHE HEARS YOU,
SHE'LL GIVE ME AN "F."

- I THINK SHE WANTS YOU
TO GIVE HER AN "F."

- MAX, I PAID YOU $90.
NOW, GO!

- HERE, MAX.
- WHAT'S THIS?

- THAT'S HOW WE'LL MAKE
THE $600 WE NEED

FOR THE SEMINAR.
[ding, ding]

I MADE FLYERS FOR
A YARD SALE AT KINKO'S.

WOW, "KINKO'S" AND "YARD SALE"
IN THE SAME BREATH.

WHERE DO I KEEP FINDING
THIS INNER STRENGTH?

[knock at door]

THAT MUST BE SOPHIE
WITH HER YARD SALE STUFF.

- HI, GIRLS!

- HEY, SOPHIE!
WHERE'S ALL YOUR JUNK?

- OH, WHERE IT ALWAYS IS--
IN MY TRUNK! [laughs]

WELL, LOOK HERE.

I GOT A BUNCH OF STUFF
THAT OLEG WANTED

TO DONATE TO YOUR YARD SALE.

- AW, THAT'S SO NICE OF HIM.

- OH, YEAH,
HE DOESN'T KNOW ABOUT IT.

YEAH, IT'S ALL THE STUFF

HE'S BEEN LEAVING AROUND
MY APARTMENT.

HE'S GETTING WAY
TOO COMFORTABLE, SO...

SELL IT ALL!
YEAH. [laughs]

YOU PROBABLY CAN GET A COUPLE
OF BUCKS FOR HIS PASSPORT.

YEAH, HE PAID $80 FOR IT.

- MAYBE HE'S LEAVING
THINGS AROUND

BECAUSE HE WANTS TO TAKE THINGS
TO ANOTHER LEVEL,

MAYBE EVEN MOVE IN.

- OH, GIRL TALK.
OOH!

SHOULDN'T YOU SERVE ME A COSMO
LIKE THEY DO ON TELEVISION?

- DON'T HAVE ANY COSMOS,
AS WE'RE BROKE

AND IT'S NOT 1998, BUT...

HOW ABOUT A PINK CUPCAKE?

- OH, EVEN BETTER.

- MAYBE NOW THAT OLEG
HAS TOLD YOU HE LOVES YOU,

YOU'RE STARTING TO HAVE INTIMACY
ISSUES ABOUT GETTING CLOSE.

- OH, COME ON.

SAVE THAT GARBAGE
FOR YOUR YARD SALE.

YEAH, THE MAN IS JUST
UP THERE TOO MUCH.

I MEAN, HE'S DOWN THERE WHEN
HE'S UP THERE, BUT, YEAH...

IT'S WAY TOO MUCH, YEAH.

HE'S GOT TO CHANGE,
OR HE'S OUT.

HEY, THANKS
FOR THE CUPCAKE, MAX.

AND, CAROLINE...

I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU ADD,
BUT, YEAH.

- OUR YARD SALE IS NOT QUITE
ALL SET UP YET.

YOU'RE EARLY.
OUR FLYER SAID 1:00 TO 5:00.

- OH, I DON'T DO FLYERS.

MISS TRUDY, MY CARD.

THIS IS MY WIFE, MISS TRUDY,
AND THE BIRD'S NAME IS SCOTT.

- DENNIS ENDICOTT THE THIRD,

THRIFT SHOP SCOUT AND BROOKLYN'S
CRAZY KITSCH GENIUS.

- "LORD OF THE THINGS."

SO, I HAVE LOTS
OF CLASSIC COUTURE PIECES.

YOU WON'T BE DISAPPOINTED.

- WELL, I HAVE BEEN BEFORE.
MISS TRUDY?

- [scoffs] WE WENT ALL THE WAY
TO PENNSYLVANIA FOR

A FACTS OF LIFEBEAN BAG
TOSS GAME.

- NO BLAIR!
- [whispering] NO BLAIR.

- JUST TWO TOOTIES.

- LIFE JUST SUCKS
IT HARD SOMETIMES.

AM I RIGHT, SCOTT?

- SO, ON THAT CHAIR
ARE MY THINGS,

AND YOU'LL NOTICE
THAT THERE'S A LOT--

- OH, I ALREADY DID.
14 FOR ALL OF IT.

- $1,400, PERFECT!

- HUNDRED?
DARLING, $14.

- BUT THIS IS ALL VINTAGE.

- VINTAGE, OR JUST
OUT OF SEASON?

WAIT, IS THAT A NUGGET BUDDY?

MISS TRUDY,
THEY HAVE THE COWBOY.

- HE LOVES THE COWBOY.

- I BET HE DOES.

- OH, I AM SO RELIEVED.

WHEN WE DON'T FIND ANYTHING
GOOD, HE GETS REALLY MAD...

[whispers] AT ME.

- I'M SORRY, THAT'S NOT SUPPOSED
TO BE OUT.

I CAN'T BREAK UP THE SET.

- YOU HAVE ALL TEN
NUGGET BUDDIES?

- YEP, AND EVERY OTHER
HAPPY MEAL TOY SINCE 1993.

MY MOM USED TO TAKE ME THERE
A LOT.

[laughs] WELL, SHE USED TO LEAVE
ME THERE A LOT, BUT SAME DIFF.

- $600 FOR THE WHOLE COLLECTION.

- SOLD!
- WHOA, WHOA, NOT SOLD.

- MAX, COME ON,
THIS IS OUR FUTURE.

- WELL, THOSE ARE MY PAST.
NO SALE.

- LET'S GO, SCOTT.

THIS IS "TOOTIE-GATE"
ALL OVER AGAIN.

AND YOU--

WHEN WE GET HOME, YOU BETTER PUT
ON THE PUNISHMENT PILLOW.

- DON'T WORRY.
I KIND OF LIKE IT.

- WELL, SO MUCH FOR A HORSE
IN A HAT

BEING THE WEIRDEST THING
IN THIS YARD.

- EXPLAIN TO ME AGAIN
HOW AN ITEM I PAID $3,000 FOR

JUST TWO YEARS AGO
IS WORTH LESS THAN SOMETHING

THAT CAME
WITH A DIPPING SAUCE!

- A HAPPY MEAL TOY REMINDS
PEOPLE OF A SWEETER TIME,

A SIMPLER TIME,
A PRE-KARDASHIAN TIME.

- ATTENTION, ATTENTION!

I HAVE SOMETHING
VERY IMPORTANT HERE.

- THE RESULTS OF YOUR DNA TEST
PROVING YOUR MOTHER WAS ASIAN

AND YOUR FATHER
WAS A PINE NUT?

- NO, WE GOT OUR LETTER GRADE

FROM THE CITY
HEALTH INSPECTOR'S OFFICE.

- [gasps] WHOO!
WE GOT A "B"!

THAT'S THE FIRST "B"
I EVER GOT

I DIDN'T HAVE
TO FRENCH KISS FOR.

- A "B"?
NO, NO, NO, NO!

THIS BOY DON'T PLAY
WITH NO "B"s.

I'M CALLING THAT LITTLE TEASE,
MISS JEAN ROTELLO, RIGHT NOW.

- THIS ISN'T GOOD.
ASIANS DON'T DO WELL WITH "B"s.

AT WHARTON, I GOT A "B,"
AND THE JAPANESE KID

WHO SAT NEXT TO ME
KILLED HIMSELF.

- OLEG, I'M KIND OF GETTING USED
TO THIS LOOK NOW.

YOU KIND OF LOOK LIKE
BIN LADEN'S GHOST.

- GOOD NIGHT, GIRLS.

I'M GOING TO GO OVER AND SPEND
THE NIGHT AT SOPHIE'S.

- NO, MAYBE NOT.

- WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT?

- BECAUSE SHE CAN'T
STOP HERSELF.

- IT'S JUST, SHE MIGHT LIKE
A LITTLE SPACE SOMETIMES.

- SHE NEEDS SPACE?
DID SHE SAY THAT?

- NOT IN SO MANY WORDS.
- NO, THOSE WERE THE WORDS.

LOOK, SOPHIE
LOVES HAVING YOU AROUND.

IT'S JUST, SHE TOLD US THAT
YOU'RE GETTING

A LITTLE TOO COMFORTABLE THERE
WHEN SHE CAME OVER

TO SELL ALL YOUR STUFF
AT OUR YARD SALE.

I KNOW HOW THAT SOUNDS--
- AND YET, YOU KEEP GOING.

- OLEG, SOPHIE IS JUST FEELING
A LITTLE SMOTHERED.

- SHE FEELS SMOTHERED?

HAVE YOU EVER TRIED
MOTORBOATING THOSE CANS OF HERS?

- ONCE, BUT I WAS VERY DRUNK
AT THE TIME.

- JUST MAKE A FEW CHANGES,

AND EVERYTHING WILL
BE RIGHT BACK ON TRACK.

- AND STOP TALKING NOW.

- MAKE SOME CHANGES?
THAT'S ALL I'VE DONE FOR HER.

I CHANGED MY FURNITURE,
I CHANGED MY WAYS.

I CHANGED MY UNDERWEAR
MORE THAN ONCE A WEEK.

THAT'S IT.
NO MORE CHANGING FOR HAN...

AND NO MORE CHANGING
FOR SOPHIE.

I'M DONE CHANGING.
I'M BACK, BABY.

SPREAD THE WORD!

- I THINK HE'S GONNA BE
SPREADING MORE THAN THE WORD.

- I WANT TO KILL SOMEONE!

- WHY, DID THEY CANCEL
SUITE LIFE OF ZACK AND CODY?

- NO, I JUST GOT OFF THE PHONE
WITH THE RESTAURANT INSPECTOR--

- SHE ANSWERED HER PHONE
AT THIS TIME OF NIGHT?

- COME ON, IT'S NOT LIKE
SHE WAS OUT ON THE TOWN.

- HAN!

I THINK THAT "B" YOU'RE HOLDING
MIGHT STAND FOR "BITCH."

- AND SHE TOLD ME I GOT A "B"
BECAUSE OF THE CONDITIONS

OF THE BACK ROOM
OFF THE DISHWASHER AREA.

I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WE HAD
A BACK ROOM, DID YOU?

- NO, BUT OF COURSE THERE'S
A MYSTERIOUS BACK ROOM

IN THIS NEW UPSIDE DOWN WORLD,

WHERE A PIECE OF CHEESE IS MAYOR
AND DONNA KARAN IS A NO ONE!

- OH, THERE IT IS.

I ALWAYS THOUGHT
THAT WAS THE PROPERTY

OF THE BAR NEXT DOOR.

- IF WE SHARE A DOOR
WITH A BAR,

MY BREAKS ARE ABOUT
TO GET LONGER AND DRUNKER.

- WAIT HERE, GIRLS,
WHILE I PUSH THIS RACK AWAY.

[grunting]

[grunting]

P90X, DON'T FAIL ME NOW!

- I'M PRETTY SURE THIS IS WHAT
MY SOUL LOOKS LIKE.

- NOW I'M GOING TO HAVE TO HIRE
AN EMERGENCY CREW TO COME

CLEAN THIS BY FRIDAY
TO GET MY "A."

- OH, DAMN IT.

I GUESS CAROLINE
AND I CAN DO IT.

- ARE YOU INSANE?
MAX, I CAN'T.

I HAVEN'T WORKED ON
THE RAILROADS LIKE YOU.

- COME ON.

HAN NEEDS HIS "A," AND WE NEED
THE MONEY FOR THAT SEMINAR.

ISN'T THIS ONE OF THOSE
"WINDOWS OF OPPORTUNITY"?

- $600.
- FORGET IT, GIRLS.

LOOK AT THESE WALLS.

I NEED PROFESSIONAL
STEAM CLEANERS.

- I HAVE STEAM CLEANED BEFORE.

I MEAN, HOW ELSE DO YOU GET
MALT LIQUOR AND BLOOD STAINS

OUT OF A RENTED PROM DRESS?

- UGH, IT'S SO HUMID
AND DAMP IN HERE.

NOW I KNOW HOW BALLS FEEL.

LET ME JUST MOVE
THIS CORD OUT OF--

[electricity sparking]
OH! I JUST GOT A SHOCK!

- [laughs] NO.

A SHOCK IS COMING HOME
TO FIND YOUR MOM

IN THE TUB WITH
YOUR TENTH-GRADE CRUSH.

- I SHOULD PUSH THESE
LIGHT CORDS BACK UP OVER--

[screaming]

- UH, IT'S A ROACH NEST.

- [screaming]

- IT'S OKAY, IT'S OKAY,
IT'S OKAY, IT'S OKAY, IT'S OKAY!

IT'S OKAY!
- [whimpering]

- GOOD NEWS,
THEY'RE ALREADY DEAD.

BAD NEWS, AS I PULL THEM

OUT OF YOUR HAIR,
THEY'RE DECOMPOSING.

- [whimpering]
- ARE YOU CRYING?

- I CAN'T DO THIS.

NOT EVEN FOR THE SEMINAR.

- I'LL SELL MY HAPPY MEALS.

- MAX, YOU DON'T HAVE
TO DO THAT.

- BUT WE NEED THE MONEY.
- OKAY, GREAT!

- HEY, NUGGET BUDDIES.

AS SOON AS THE MAN
WITH THE BIRD GETS HERE,

YOU'LL BE LEAVING
MY LOVING CARE

AND GOING OUT
INTO THE BIG, BAD WORLD.

SHOES WILL STEP ON YOU,

KIDS WILL TIE YOU
TO FIRECRACKERS,

AND SOME REAL SICKOS
MAY STICK YOU IN A TRUNK

AND DRIVE YOU
ACROSS STATE LINES.

[knock at door]

- HI, SOPHIE.

- OLEG CHEATED ON ME,

AND I'M SO [screaming] MAAAD!

[screaming]

OH, I HAVE TO BREAK THINGS!

BUT EVERYTHING UPSTAIRS
IN MY APARTMENT IS TOO NICE!

SO...RUN A TAB, GIRLS!

[screams]

AAH!
[screams]

[screaming]

I GOTTA BREAK MORE THINGS!
[screams]

- WAIT, DON'T BREAK THAT BOX!
THAT'S MY HAPPY--

- [screaming]

OHH.

I FEEL BETTER.

I REALLY DO.

OKAY.
ALL RIGHT.

- I THINK WE JUST SAW WHAT
IT WOULD LOOK LIKE

IF SOMEONE CHEATED
ON THE INCREDIBLE HULK.

- HEY, GIRLS.
[breathing heavily]

SOPHIE'S BACK.
SPREAD THE WORD!

- MAX, LOOK,
YOUR HAPPY MEAL TOYS.

LOOK, I KNOW YOU'RE UPSET
ABOUT YOUR TOYS, MAX,

BUT COME ON,
IT'S KIND OF FUN.

- THERE IS ONLY ONE KIND OF WET
THAT I HAVE BEEN AT 3:00

IN THE MORNING
THAT I WOULD CALL "FUN."

THIS IS NOT IT!

- OH, LOOK!
UNDER THE NEWSPAPER,

THERE'S SOME SORT OF
STAINED GLASS WINDOW THERE.

AW, PRETTY!

- OH, YOU'RE FINALLY GETTING
THE MONEY YOU WANTED

AND YOU'RE SO CHIPPER.

- I'M "CHIPPER,"
TO USE YOUR WORD, BECAUSE

WE'RE WORKING TO EARN MONEY TO
MOVE OUR BUSINESS BRAND FORWARD.

- STOP SAYING "BRAND."

AND THIS "SEMINAR"
BETTER BE WORTH IT.

- WHY ARE YOU SAYING IT
LIKE THAT?

"SEMINAR," WITH QUOTES
AROUND IT,

LIKE IT'S A SILLY IDEA
OR SOMETHING.

- I DIDN'T SAY "SEMINAR"
WITH QUOTES AROUND IT.

- YOU DID.
YOU SAID--

OOH! OOH, SORRY!

SORRY!

I WAS TRYING TO ILLUSTRATE THAT
YOU PUT QUOTES AROUND IT.

- I AM TOO TIRED TO PUT QUOTES
AROUND THINGS,

BUT IF I WERE GONNA PUT QUOTES
ON A WORD,

THAT WORD WOULD BE,
"SEMINAR"!

OH, AND "BRANDING"!

AND I WOULD PUT BIG, GIANT,
DUMBASS QUOTES AROUND

"BRANDING SEMINAR"!

- MAX, YOU DID THAT
ON PURPOSE!

- OH, MAYBE IT WAS JUST
AN ACCIDENT!

STOP! STOP!
YOU'RE SPRAYING THE LIGHT CORD!

HELLO!
WATER AND ELECTRICITY,

NOT THE BEST COMBO!

LIKE SOME OTHER NOT-GREAT COMBOS
I CAN THINK OF.

- US?
YOU MEAN US?

WHAT, NOW WE ARE NOT
A GREAT COMBO?

OH, WOW.

SORRY I SUGGESTED WE GO
TO A QUOTE-SEMINAR-UNQUOTE.

SORRY I'M TRYING
TO MOVE US FORWARD.

- SORRY THAT YOU THINK
YOU KNOW HOW TO DO EVERYTHING.

- SORRY THAT YOU RESENT THE FACT
THAT I KNOW HOW TO DO BUSINESS.

- SORRY THAT YOU THINK YOU KNOW
HOW TO DO BUSINESS,

AND MAYBE THAT'S WHY
OUR FIRST BUSINESS FAILED.

- SORRY THAT YOU TOOK TWO
WEED BREAKS EVERY SINGLE DAY

INSTEAD OF MAKING WORK CALLS,

AND MAYBE THAT'S WHY
OUR BUSINESS FAILED.

- SORRY THAT I DIDN'T TAKE
MORE WEED BREAKS,

BECAUSE I REALLY COULD HAVE
USED THEM WORKING WITH

A KNOW-IT-ALL LIKE YOU!

AND SORRY--
- IT'S MY TURN!

- NO! SORRY THAT YOU, ALSO,
HAD TO STICK YOUR NOSE

INTO OLEG AND SOPHIE'S
BUSINESS,

SO THAT HE CHEATED,
AND SHE GOT MAD AND THEN,

BY AN ALMOST IRREFUTABLE
LINE OF DIRECT ACTION,

YOU KILLED MY TOYS!

- SORRY THAT IT DOESN'T MATTER

HOW MANY THINGS I EVER DID RIGHT
BECAUSE POOR ITTY-BITTY

BABY MAX'S HAPPY MEAL TOYS
GOT ALL BROKED!

[hose shoots]
DON'T PUSH ME, MAX!

- YOU'RE SUCH A FAN OF BRANDING,

"JUST DO IT."

"HAVE IT YOUR WAY."

"WHAT HAPPENS IN VEGAS,
STAYS IN VEGAS."

"GOT MILK?"

GOT ANY OTHER
STUPID BUSINESS IDEAS?

- STOP!

[screaming] STOP, STOP,
STOP IT, STOP IT!

I AM DONE!

- NO, I'M DONE!

- NO, WE'RE BOTH DONE!

- FINE, WE'RE BOTH DONE!

- DONE!
- DONE!

- NO, I'M REALLY DONE, MAX!

I'M TIRED OF TRYING
TO MAKE THINGS HAPPEN!

I'M TIRED OF PUSHING US
INTO CUPCAKE SHOPS!

- AND I'M TIRED OF YOU PUSHING
US INTO CUPCAKE SHOPS TOO.

SHOPS THAT WE COULDN'T AFFORD
IN THE FIRST PLACE.

[electricity sparking]
- [screams]

OH, MY GOD!
OH, MY GOD, MAX!

MAX, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

CPR, WHAT IS IT?

DO YOU DO PINCH THE NOSE
AND BREATHE INTO THE MOUTH?

WAIT, WAIT!

I THINK YOU'RE SUPPOSED
TO PUMP THE CHEST FIRST.

WELL, I'LL NEVER
GET THROUGH THOSE!

MAX, I'M ABOUT TO PUT
MY MOUTH ON YOURS,

SO IF YOU'RE KIDDING
YOU BETTER WAKE UP RIGHT NOW.

[blows]

[crying]
MAX, PLEASE DON'T DIE.

PLEASE DON'T DIE.
YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND.

[blows]

[gasps]

SIT UP!
SIT UP, SIT UP!

ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
- WHAT HAPPENED?

- YOU GRABBED THAT WIRE,

AND I THINK YOU GOT
A LITTLE ELECTROCUTED.

- I ALWAYS KNEW
I'D BE ELECTROCUTED,

I JUST THOUGHT IT WOULD BE
IN THE CHAIR.

GOD, I'M SO HOT.
I NEED AIR.

- COME HERE.
THE WINDOW, COME ON.

COME ON.
COME ON, OVER HERE.

HERE, KNEEL.
[grunts] OPEN!

OH, DAMN,
THERE ARE SHUTTERS.

HERE, HOLD ON TO THE WALL
WHILE I GET THIS.

ARE YOU OKAY?
TAKE A DEEP BREATH IN.

BREATHE IN.

MAX, THAT WAS SO SCARY.

FOR A SECOND,
I THOUGHT YOU DIED.

- MAYBE I DID, 'CAUSE I KIND
OF REMEMBER A PLACE WITH FLAMES.

AND YOU WERE MAKING OUT WITH ME.
- [chuckles]

- WHAT IS THAT DELICIOUS SMELL?
[sniffs]

- THE PIZZA PLACE NEXT
TO THE BAR NEXT DOOR.

- OH, GOD, HAS A PIZZA
EVER SMELLED SO GOOD?

- HEY, WHAT ARE YOU GUYS
DOING?

IS THAT, LIKE,
A STORE OR SOMETHING?

- NO.
- HOLLER.

- WAIT, CAROLINE...

THIS IS OUR WINDOW
OF OPPORTUNITY!

- MAX, WHAT A GREAT IDEA!

A CUPCAKE WALK-UP WINDOW?
YOU'RE A GENIUS!

- I JUST MIGHT BE
SINCE I DIED!

- SO MUCH LESS OVERHEAD.

AND THIS TIME WE'LL BE STARTING
AT THE BOTTOM,

SO WE'LL HAVE NOWHERE
TO GO BUT UP.

- THANK GOD!
I AM SO MUCH MORE COMFORTABLE

AT THE BOTTOM!
- [chuckles]

- HEY, I HAVE
THIS WEIRD FEELING INSIDE.

I'M MCHAPPY.
- [laughs]

- HEY, GIRLS.

TURNING TRICKS IN A WINDOW
LIKE THEY DO IN AMSTERDAM?

- NO, WE THINK WE FOUND
OUR NEW BUSINESS.

- SOPHIE, THIS IS THE NEW
MAX'S HOMEMADE CUPCAKES.

- SPEAKING OF WINDOWS,
THAT'S OLEG'S CAR, RIGHT?

OH.

YEAH. YEAH.

- WELL, SOME PEOPLE OPEN
WINDOWS, SOME PEOPLE SMASH THEM.

[glass breaking]

[upbeat theme music]



[cash register bell dings]