21 Jump Street (1987–1991): Season 1, Episode 4 - My Future's So Bright, I Gotta Wear Shades - full transcript

♪ WE NEVER THOUGHT OF FINDING ♪

♪ A PLACE WHERE WE BELONG ♪

♪ DON'T HAVE TO STAND ALONE ♪

♪ WE'LL NEVER LET YOU FALL ♪

♪ DON'T NEED PERMISSION ♪

♪ TO DECIDE WHAT YOU BELIEVE ♪

♪ YOU'RE GONNA LEARN SOMETHING ♪

♪ WHEN WE MEET YOU
AFTER SCHOOL ♪

♪ I SAID JUMP! ♪

♪ DOWN ON JUMP STREET ♪

♪ I SAID JUMP! ♪



♪ DOWN ON JUMP STREET ♪

♪ YOUR FRIENDS WILL BE THERE ♪

♪ WHEN YOUR BACK IS
TO THE WALL ♪

♪ YOU'LL FIND YOU NEED US ♪

♪ 'CAUSE THERE'S NO ONE ELSE
TO CALL ♪

♪ WHEN IT LOOKS HOPELESS ♪

♪ A DECISION'S WHAT YOU NEED ♪

♪ YOU BETTER BE READY ♪

♪ 'CAUSE YOU'RE
RUNNING OUT OF TIME ♪

♪ I SAID JUMP! ♪

♪ 21 JUMP STREET! ♪

Jenko:
SPEEDING
RIGHT ALONG...

APPARENTLY SOMEBODY
IS TRYING

TO RELOCATE SOUTH CENTRAL
HIGH SCHOOL ONE ROOM AT A TIME.



LAST NIGHT WAS
THE FOURTH B & E

IN THE SAME
AMOUNT OF MONTHS.

NO FORCED ENTRY.

NO BUSTED WINDOWS.

BURGLARY SAYS IT SMACKS
OF AN INSIDE GIG--

ONE KID GETS A SET
OF MASTER KEYS.

NEXT THING, HALF THE SCHOOL'S
DRINKING FREE SODAS.

ON TOP OF THAT

SOME TEACHER'S
GETTING FREE ROSES

FROM SOME
SECRET ADMIRER.

CHECK IT OUT, HANSON

BEFORE THE KIDS WALK
INTO AN EMPTY SCHOOLHOUSE.

GOT ANY SUSPECTS?

MY BEST BET IS A GUY
NAMED JEFFREY STONE.

SELLS EVERYTHING
FROM HOT RECORDS

TO TICKETS
TO THE BOSS'S CONCERTS--

THIRD ROW
CENTER.

HOW DO I GET CLOSE?

I DON'T
KNOW.

ASK HIM TO A ROCK CONCERT,
I GUESS.

ANYTHING ELSE?

COULD YOU CLEAR ME
ON A COUPLE EXTRA LUNCH HOURS?

I GOT THAT PHYSICAL EXAM TODAY.

HEY, TERRIFIC, HARRY.

SO YOU'RE TAKING
YOUR SERGEANT'S EXAM--

SERGEANT H.T. IOKI.

I CAN DIG IT, MAN.

STUDY HARD AND FAST, HARRY,
AND GOOD LUCK.

( tire blows out )

OH, TERRIFIC.

NO JACK.

YO! FLAT TIRE!

HEY, FLAT TIRE!

ANYBODY WANT
TO STOP HERE?

( horn honking )

HI.

HI.

LOOKS LIKE YOU COULD USE
SOME HELP.

YEAH, I COULD.

MY TIRE'S FLAT.

ONLY ON THE BOTTOM.

YOU WOULDN'T HAVE A JACK,
WOULD YOU?

I KNOW A JACK,
BUT I DON'T HAVE A JACK.

BIG GUY, DARK HAIR

EATS WITH HIS FINGERS,
LOUSY DANCER.

DIFFERENT JACK.

LUCKY YOU.

HERE...

WELCOME TO THE '80S.

THANKS.

YOU'RE WELCOME.

THERE SHOULD BE ENOUGH LEFT
TO FILL UP THE BOTTOM.

GIVE MY REGARDS TO JACK.

OH, I CAN'T.

I DON'T SEE HIM ANYMORE.

THEN CAN I MAKE THIS UP TO YOU?

WHAT DID YOU HAVE IN MIND?

I DON'T KNOW.

AT LEAST LET ME FIX
YOUR NEXT FLAT.

THEN WHO KNOWS-- LUNCH

A HOUSE
IN THE SUBURBS

POSSIBLY A KID WHEN WE'RE READY.

I'M NOT PLANNING
ON HAVING ONE SOON.

A KID OR A FLAT?

BOTH-- NO JACK.

ARE YOU TAKING APPLICATIONS?

HAVE ANOTHER FLAT,
AND I'LL LET YOU KNOW.

SUSAN CHADWICK.

I'M IN THE BOOK
UNDER AUTO REPAIR.

Albert:
WEINTRAUB WANTS
TO SEE YOU.

THAT'S A HOT TIP.

TO THINK SOME PEOPLE
THINK YOU'RE AN IDIOT.

NICE WORK, ALBERT.

THIS FROM YOUR
POST-TARDO PERIOD?

YOU PUNKS, ALL YOU DO
IS MAKE WORK FOR ME.

AND DON'T YOU
CALL ME "ALBERT."

THAT'S RIGHT.

IT'S JANOWITZ.

THAT'S POLISH
FOR JANITOR, RIGHT?

YOU STILL WANT IT?

WANT WHAT?

THE COMPACT DISC PLAYER,
MR. JANITOR.

I ONLY GOT TWO LEFT.

THEY'RE VERY CHIC.

THEY MAKE FOR
A GREAT GIFT ITEM

IF YOU WANT TO IMPRESS
YOUR GIRLFRIEND.

THAT IS, IF YOU
HAVE A GIRLFRIEND.

RELAX.

I'LL GIVE IT TO MINE.

HAVE A NICE DAY.

Weintraub:
ANY IDEA WHO
THE ARTIST IS?

Jeffrey:
GRAFFITI ART IS
ALL THE RAGE NOW.

A GUY IN NEW YORK SELLS
THIS CRAP BY THE TON.

PERSONALLY, I'M
A PERFORMANCE ARTIST.

YOU KNOW,
HANGING UPSIDE DOWN

WITH A HAMMER IN MY MOUTH
OVER DRY ICE.

SORRY.

HAND OVER
MY HALL PASS.

I'D HATE TO MISS
CHADWICK'S ENGLISH CLASS.

NO, STONE.

THIS MORNING, LET'S CHANGE
THE ROUTINE A LITTLE.

SIT DOWN.

HOW ARE YOU SPENDING YOUR
TIME AT NIGHT, YOU WORKING?

NEITHER OF YOUR FIRST PERIOD
TEACHERS CAN REMEMBER

WHEN THEY SAW YOU
IN CLASS LAST.

IT'S HARD FOR A NIGHT
PERSON TO WORK DAYS.

WHAT DO YOU DO AT NIGHT?

SAME THING AS ANYBODY ELSE.

I JUST DO IT A LITTLE LONGER.

MS. CHADWICK FOUND THIS ROSE
ON HER DESK THIS MORNING.

COINCIDENTALLY, THE SCHOOL WAS
BURGLARIZED AGAIN LAST NIGHT.

TRY MERLIN OLSEN.

MAYBE AN F.T.D. CUPID'S
GONE BAD.

YOU'RE A SMART KID, STONE.

DON'T SCREW UP YOUR LIFE
OVER A FEW KICKS.

LOOK, MAN, IF YOU'RE ACCUSING ME
OF SOMETHING, HAVE ME ARRESTED.

OTHERWISE, YOU'RE
DEPRIVING ME OF AN EDUCATION.

YOU WANT SOME EXCITEMENT
IN YOUR LIFE?

TRY OUT FOR
THE BASKETBALL TEAM.

YOUR BROTHER LOVED IT.

DID HIM A LOT OF GOOD.

MAYBE I CAN GET LOST
IN CAMBODIA, TOO.

ZERO HERO, MAN.

Chadwick:
HIS IMAGERY AND RHYTHMS
ARE STILL CONSIDERED TODAY

SOME OF THE MOST URGENT
IN CONTEMPORARY POETRY.

TAKE A FEW MINUTES
TO READ THIS SHORT WORK

AND READ IT
A COUPLE OF TIMES

PAYING SPECIFIC ATTENTION
TO HIS LAYERS OF IMAGERY

AND HOW THOSE IMAGES
COLLECTIVELY

BUILD TO THEIR OWN
INNER CONCLUSIONS.

DON'T YOU THINK
YOU SHOULD HAVE
CALLED FIRST?

I MEAN,
THIS IS A LITTLE...

EMBARRASSING?

I'LL SAY.

LOOKS LIKE I'M
SORT OF IN YOUR CLASS.

OH, LISTEN...

IT'S OKAY.

YOU DON'T HAVE
TO SAY A THING.

FORGET ABOUT IT.

I'M JUST A GUY
WITH A FLAT TIRE

AND YOU'VE GOT
A CLASS TO TEACH.

SO...

SO...

YEAH.

CLASS, THIS IS TOM GILMORE.

HE'S A NEW
STUDENT HERE.

TOM, I'M
MS. CHADWICK.

PLEASED TO MEET YOU,
MS. CHADWICK.

OKAY, SO
HERE YOU GO.

HELP YOURSELF
TO ANY AVAILABLE SEAT.

SORRY, MS. CHADWICK.

IT'S THESE ALIENS.

YOU CAN'T RELY
ON THEM FOR ANYTHING.

THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO HAVE ME
BACK ON EARTH IN TIME FOR CLASS

BUT IT TOOK A WHILE
TO UNHOOK THE LIFE
SUPPORT SYSTEM.

HOW ARE YOU...

THANK YOU,
JEFFREY.

I'M SURE WE'RE
ALL AMUSED.

I WONDER, CAN WE HOLD
AN ENGLISH CLASS?

LET'S READ THE POEM

AND WE'LL DISCUSS IT
AT TEN MINUTES PAST THE HOUR.

PSST.

VAN HALEN, DUDE.

ABSOLUTELY LIVE

ABSOLUTELY THE LAST
TWO TICKETS.

WHERE DID YOU GET THEM?

I'VE BEEN LOOKING
ALL OVER TOWN.

DON'T GRAB.

WE ARE A CIVILIZED PEOPLE.

IF YOU WANT THEM,
THEY'RE YOURS--

EIGHTY BUCKS.

CAN YOU FRONT ME?

FRONT YOU?

VAN HALEN, DUDE.

I'LL TAKE 'EM--
70 BUCKS RIGHT NOW.

SEVENTY-FIVE.

SEVENTY BUCKS.

THE MAN KNOWS HIS MUSIC.

THIS IS AN ENGLISH CLASS,
NOT AN AUCTION.

I HEARD THE GOOD NEWS.

WHAT GOOD NEWS IS THAT?

THAT YOU'VE GOT
A SECRET ADMIRER.

SOMEONE BROUGHT YOU FLOWERS
LAST NIGHT, MS. CHADWICK?

HEY, NEGOTIATOR.

YOU STILL WANT
THEM FOR 70?

SIXTY NOW.

MARKET GETS SOFT
AFTER THE BELL RINGS.

DON'T TRY TO OUTGUN
A GUNNER, ACE.

MERRY CHRISTMAS.

FREE?

WHY?

THIS WAY I WIN.

IT'S LIKE A BANK
GIVING AWAY FREE TOASTERS.

YOU KNOW,
NEW CUSTOMERS AND ALL.

SO YOU GOT
A GIRLFRIEND?

MAYBE.

I GOT A COMPACT
DISC PLAYER.

MAKES FOR A GREAT
GIFT ITEM.

NO, THANKS.

MY GIRLFRIEND THINKS
I'M A GREAT GIFT ITEM.

ZENO'S, TONIGHT,
AT 7:00, RIGHT?

I'LL BUY YOU A DRINK.

DOESN'T A HOTSHOT
LIKE YOU HAVE FRIENDS?

DEPENDS ON WHAT
THEY'RE SELLING FOR.

IF YOU
NEED AN I.D.

I GOT A DEPARTMENT
THAT HANDLES THAT, TOO.

MOST OF THESE
OTHER JERKS

ARE JUST WAITING
FOR THE PROM.

YOU NEED SOMEONE
TO SHOW YOU AROUND

BEFORE YOU END UP
BUYING SOME DOG A CORSAGE.

LATER.

Lazzar:
KIDS HAVE HAD CRUSHES
ON THEIR TEACHERS FOREVER.

IT'S NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.

UP A FEW MORE INCHES
ON YOUR SIDE.

PERFECT.

THIS IS MORE
THAN JUST A CRUSH.

I CAN SEE IT
IN HIS EYES.

AND WITH THAT
BURGLARY LAST NIGHT

AND THE ROSE ON MY DESK...

SUSAN, YOUR CLASS
IS THE ONLY ONE

JEFFREY ATTENDS
WITH ANY REGULARITY.

IF I TAKE HIM OUT NOW

I'M AFRAID HE'LL JUST
STOP COMING TO SCHOOL.

I LIKE JEFFREY.

HE'S A BRIGHT KID.

I HAD HIM
AS A SOPHOMORE.

HIS FOLKS
SPLIT UP THEN.

HE TOOK IT
PRETTY HARD.

TOO BAD KYLE ISN'T HERE.

HE'D HAVE BEEN
A GOOD INFLUENCE.

HANDSOME BOY.
VERY POPULAR.

YOU'D HAVE LIKED HIM.

ALL-AMERICAN

WASN'T HE,
ALBERT?

YES, MA'AM.

BASKETBALL STATE CHAMPIONS
MY SENIOR YEAR.

COME ON, SUSAN.

DIDN'T YOU EVER HAVE
A CRUSH ON A TEACHER?

MINE WAS MR. PETERSON--

EIGHTH-GRADE BIOLOGY.

LUCKY GUY.

SEE YOU
IN THE MORNING.

YEAH, THANKS.

NO DISRESPECT
TO MS. LAZZAR, BUT...

HE WASN'T SUCH
A HOTSHOT--

STONE'S OLDER BROTHER, KYLE.

BELIEVE ME.

AND ALL MOUTH, BOTH OF THEM.

MUST BE
HEREDITARY.

IF THAT LITTLE PUNK
GIVES YOU ANY MORE TROUBLE

I'LL HANDLE HIM.

HI.

HI.

GOT SOMETHING
FOR YOU.

I WOULDN'T WANT
TO OWE YOU

WHEN IT COMES
TO MIDTERMS, YOU KNOW.

OKAY, SO
WE'RE EVEN.

AND LISTEN,
THANKS A LOT FOR... YOU KNOW.

IT COULD HAVE BEEN
REAL EMBARRASSING FOR ME.

I CAME ON PRETTY HARD,
AND I'M A TEACHER.

YES, MA'AM, AND I'M JUST A KID
IN YOUR CLASS WITH A FLAT TIRE.

YEP, I GUESS YOU ARE.

I'LL SEE YOU LATER,
MS. CHADWICK.

YOU KNOW...

I DIDN'T FIGURE YOU
FOR A VAN HALEN FAN.

AND I DIDN'T FIGURE YOU

FOR A TEACHER,
EITHER.

GOOD-BYE.

BYE.

( TV turns on )

( explosion )

( honking )

LOOKING FOR SOMETHING,
OR...

JUST WANT TO SEE
IF THE THING WORKS?

( TV turns off )

HAVE YOU GOT
ANY MONEY?

YEAH... WHY?

DID YOU SPEND ALL YOURS
OUT REPLACING PAJAMAS?

NO, WISEACRE,

I'LL BE OUT OF TOWN
ALL NEXT WEEK

AND I THOUGHT YOU
MIGHT GET HUNGRY.

LOOK, YOU KIDS...
DON'T WAIT UP FOR ME.

REMEMBER,

TOMORROW'S A SCHOOL DAY.

WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

OUT.

WHERE'S OUT?

NOT IN.

( rock music playing )

NICE PLACE.

TERRIFIC SERVICE.

I'LL BET THE ESCARGOT
IS EXCELLENT.

YOU WANT FRIENDLY,
GO TO PIZZA HUT.

WHOA.

BIZARRE SEATS
FOR THE U2 CONCERT.

JEFFREY, I'M A HAPPY GIRL.

WHO'S YOUR FRIEND?

KARLA, LIKE,
I'M HAPPY YOU'RE HAPPY

BUT I'M BUSY.

I'M KARLA.

STOP BY
AND RUIN ME.

FORGET IT.

THE CHICK'S A POSTER CHILD

FOR LUDES.

DID YOU BRING IT?

MY BOYFRIEND'S
GOING TO GO NUTS.

YOUR BOYFRIEND IS NUTS.

A GREAT GIFT ITEM.

YOU LOST OUT,
MAN.

THAT WAS
MY LAST ONE.

YOUR GIRLFRIEND
WOULD HAVE LOVED IT.

I'LL BUY HER A CORSAGE.

THIS PLACE STINKS.

FINISH YOUR BEER,
AND LET'S HIT THE ROAD.

I DON'T DRINK.

Stone:
THAT'S CHADWICK.

SHE LIKES
TO READ IN BED.

Hanson:
WHAT DO YOU DO?

YOU SPY ON HER?

A MAN'S GOT TO HAVE
HIS HOBBIES, GILMORE.

WHERE ARE
WE GOING?

RELAX, GILMORE.

I'M DRIVING THIS TOUR BUS.

WELL, SO FAR THE TOUR STINKS.

THEN LET'S GO SOMEPLACE
WITH A VIEW.

OKAY.

CLOSE IT UP, GILMORE.

IF EVER YOU NEED TO CHANGE
AN ATTENDANCE RECORD

A GRADE, WHATEVER

YOU PUSH BACK
THESE FOUR SCREWS.

YOU PULL UP
THE EXHAUST FAN COVER

BAMMO, YOU'RE IN.

FOLLOW ME.

HOW ABOUT
THIS VIEW, HUH?

YEAH, IT'S NICE.

WHAT THE HELL
ARE WE DOING UP HERE?

GETTING AWAY
FROM DOWN THERE.

GETTING AWAY
FROM WHAT, EXACTLY?

STUFF, GILMORE.

ADULT PARANOIA.

STATE CHAMPIONSHIPS.

SENIOR DANCES.

CAMBODIA.

SO, WHAT
DID YOU GET?

WHAT?

MAN, WHO DO YOU THINK
YOU'RE DEALING WITH?

YOU RE-SOLD
THOSE VAN HALEN TICKETS.

HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT?

COME ON, GILMORE.

YOU'VE NEVER LISTENED
TO VAN HALEN IN YOUR LIFE.

I KNOW PEOPLE.

THAT'S MY TALENT.

SOME GUYS ARE GOOD
WITH... BASKETBALL.

I'M GOOD WITH PEOPLE.

LOOK, IT'S ALL RIGHT.

EVEN IF THEY
WERE A GIFT.

I DON'T MIND.

BESIDES...

THERE AIN'T NOTHING
IN THE BOOK THAT SAYS

YOU CAN'T SELL ANYTHING
THAT'S YOURS.

MAYBE WE CAN

GO INTO BUSINESS TOGETHER.

YOU THINK SO, HUH?

SPLIT ALL THAT LUNCH MONEY
BETWEEN US.

WOW.

CONCERT TICKETS

C.D.s AND ANYTHING
ELSE YOU CAN MOVE.

I DON'T KNOW,
PRETTY BIG-TIME STUFF

BUT...

IT WOULD BORE ME.

STRIKE.

STRIKE?

YES!

STRIKE MY EYE!

I'D NEED AN ELEVATOR
TO REACH THAT BALL!

PLAY BALL!

BILLY MARTIN,
BILLY MARTIN.

COME ON, GUYS.

COME ON, HARRY.

Penhall:
PLAY BALL.

OKAY, HARRY,
ACCORDING TO MUNICIPAL CODE

NO PERSON BELOW

THE AGE
OF...

EIGHTEEN

WILL BE GRANTED
A GUN PERMIT

WITHOUT
WRITTEN CONSENT

BY A PARENT
OR GUARDIAN.

Hanson:
UNLESS THEY HAVE

A FELONY CONVICTION
IN THE LAST
SEVEN YEARS.

I WAS GETTING
TO THAT PART.

WAIT FOR YOUR PITCH, HARRY.

YOU GUYS MIGHT HAVE
INVENTED THE GAME

BUT WE PERFECTED IT.

YEAH, SUSHI
AND BASEBALL, RIGHT?

HOW WAS
YOUR CONCERT?

RADICAL, AWESOME, LIKE WOW?

I'VE NEVER LISTENED
TO VAN HALEN IN MY LIFE.

I GOT THAT
FROM AN EXPERT.

JEFFREY STILL MIGHT BE OUR GUY.

HE'S A REAL LONER

PART-TIME JUNIOR VAMPIRE

SPIES ON HIS
ENGLISH TEACHER AT NIGHT

AND HANGS OUT
ON THE SCHOOL ROOF.

TRIES TO BE A HARD GUY.

HUGE CAMPAIGN,
BUT NOT A LOT OF VOTES.

ANY PRIORS?

NO, JUST
A FELONY-SIZE

CHIP ON HIS SHOULDER--

PROBLEMS AT HOME,
THINGS LIKE THAT.

I'M NOT SURE
WHAT HE SELLS IS HOT.

HE THINKS I'M A PLAYER.

OH, WAIT,
I DIDN'T ORDER THAT.

I DID.

MIND IF
I JOIN YOU?

WELL, ACTUALLY,
I'M A LITTLE BUSY RIGHT NOW

AND YOU SHOULDN'T
BE BUYING ME A DRINK.

I DIDN'T.

I BOUGHT IT FOR ME.

BESIDES, IT'S A COKE.

DID YOU SPILL THE FIRST ONE?

IT'S RAINING.

IT'S RAINING?

OH, GREAT, I WALKED HERE.

THIS IS
A STRANGE PLACE

TO BE GRADING
PAPERS

DON'T YOU THINK?

NOT CONSIDERING MOST ARE WRITTEN
AT TWISTED SISTER CONCERTS.

YOU'RE A TWISTED SISTER FAN?

I THOUGHT WE WERE GOING
TO FORGET OUR FIRST MEETING.

WHAT MEETING?

I DON'T WANT YOU TO HAVE
THE WRONG IMPRESSION OF ME.

TO BE HONEST

I WAS ATTRACTED TO YOU

BUT IT WASN'T REALLY YOU
I WAS ATTRACTED TO.

WHO WAS IT?

THERE'S SOMEONE AROUND TOWN
WHO LOOKS JUST LIKE ME--

BIG GUY, DARK HAIR

EATS WITH
HIS FINGERS

LOUSY
DANCER.

THE WORST, TERRIBLE.

WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY...

IS IF THINGS
WERE SUDDENLY DIFFERENT

AND WE REALLY WERE
THOSE TWO PEOPLE BACK THERE

WHO KNOWS,
BUT...

WE'RE NOT.

I'M YOUR TEACHER.

YOU'RE MY STUDENT.

TEACHER, STUDENT, SEE?

OKAY, FINE

BUT THE NEXT TIME
I GET A FLAT TIRE, DON'T STOP

AND IF YOU DO...

DON'T BE SO DAMN CUTE.

DARN CUTE.

I BET YOU'RE GOING TO GROW UP
TO BE A BIOLOGY TEACHER.

I AM GROWN UP.

LOOK, MS. CHADWICK,
I WALKED IN THE DOOR

I SAW YOU SITTING HERE

I THOUGHT I'D COME BY
AND SAY HI.

THAT WAS ALL.

JUST RELAX, OKAY?

A BIOLOGY TEACHER?

THERE'S JUST
ONE MORE THING
I SHOULD ASK YOU

STRICTLY STUDENT
TO TEACHER.

IS THIS WHY I FOUND
ROQUEFORT DRESSING
ON MY BOOK REPORT?

PROBABLY.

THANK YOU.

( echoes of crowd cheering )

( echoes of crowd booing )

( buzzer sounds )

THANKS AGAIN
FOR THE RIDE.

IT'S FLU SEASON.

YOU SHOULD
BE CAREFUL.

I HAD FUN.

THANKS.

GOOD NIGHT.

GOOD NIGHT.

YOU KNOW...

THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT YOU
THAT DOESN'T FIT.

MAYBE YOU DON'T HAVE
ALL THE PIECES YET.

OH, REALLY?

REALLY.

YOU HAVE A DATE
FOR THE PROM?

SEVEN YEARS AGO,
THANK YOU.

HEY, NEVER WORK THAT DEEP
WITHOUT A SNORKEL.

YOU CAN DAMAGE THE BRAIN.

ACCORDING
TO MUNICIPAL CODE

A QUARRY LOCATED
WITHIN THE CITY LIMITS

MUST BE ENCLOSED WITH
A WOODEN OR WIRE FENCE...

...NOT LESS
THAN SIX FEET

ABOVE
THE EXISTING GRATE.

DON'T WORRY.

WE DON'T
HAVE QUARRIES.

RELAX.

HOW'S IT GOING?

I BREEZED THROUGH MY WRITTEN.

GOT MY ORAL THURSDAY

AND AFTER THAT SERGEANT IOKI.

JENK WANTS
TO SEE YOU
IN HIS OFFICE.

THEY HIT AGAIN LAST NIGHT.

TWO THOUSAND DOLLARS'
WORTH OF DESK CALCULATORS.

TERRIFIC.

JENKO,
I'M SORRY.

I NEVER THOUGHT
HE'D HIT AGAIN THIS SOON.

IT JUST DOESN'T
MAKE ANY SENSE.

GUYS WHO CAMP OUT
ON SCHOOL ROOFTOPS

DON'T USUALLY
MAKE MUCH SENSE.

I THOUGHT I NEEDED
TO GIVE HIM SOME ROOM.

WELL, YOU
GAVE HIM ROOM.

THE SCHOOL PRINCIPAL

IS SCREAMING
AT OUR GUYS DOWNTOWN.

BECAUSE OF OUR
CRACKERJACK PROTECTION

HE'LL BE FORCED TO HIRE
AN OUTSIDE SECURITY FIRM.

TALK LIKE THAT, PAL

CAN PUT OUR
JUMP STREET PROGRAM
RIGHT INTO THE TOILET.

SO, WHAT WAS OUR ROOFTOP
ROMEO UP TO LAST NIGHT?

A LITTLE WINDOW-PEEPING
ON THE TEACHER?

WHAT DOES SHE
LOOK LIKE, ANYWAY?

OH, SHE'S...

I WASN'T WITH STONE LAST NIGHT.

I WAS... OUT.

WHERE'S "OUT"?

OUT, OUT.

I HAD SOMETHING TO EAT
WITH A FRIEND.

AND WHO MIGHT THAT BE, SPORT?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, WHO?

I DON'T MEAN THE WHO,
AS IN THE ROCK GROUP.

I MEAN, WHAT PARTY
WERE YOU WITH?

NOW WE KNOW
IT WASN'T OUR MAN STONE

AS HE WAS
OBVIOUSLY OCCUPIED.

( sighs )

I WAS WITH MY...

ENGLISH TEACHER.

AH, THE TEACHER.

I HOPE YOU HAD A SWELL TIME.

I TRIED.

UH-HUH, I BET YOU DID.

DIAGRAM A FEW SENTENCES, BUB?

I'M SORRY.

HEY, HEY, YOU'RE A PERSON.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO APOLOGIZE

FOR HAVING A PERSONAL LIFE.

YOU SHOULD JUST REMEMBER
TO HAVE IT

ON YOUR YEARLY
TWO-WEEK VACATION.

IF YOU THINK
YOU STILL HAVE A CASE

MAYBE YOU SHOULD GO
PICK UP YOUR BUDDY STONE.

YEAH.

OKEY-DOKEY.

OKEY-DOKE.

CHEKHOV, IN ADDITION
TO HIS MANY CONTRIBUTIONS

TO THE WORLD OF THEATER--

WHICH, AS I'M SURE
YOU ALL KNOW

HAVE RECEIVED
WORLDWIDE RECOGNITION--

WAS ALSO
A RESPECTED ESSAYIST...

EXCUSE ME A SECOND.

NO, JEFFREY ISN'T
IN CLASS TODAY.

WAS THERE A ROSE
ON YOUR DESK TODAY?

YES.

BUT I'M SURE
IT'S JUST A HARMLESS CRUSH.

"HARMLESS CRUSH"?

THE GUY'S A THIEF.

ALBERT, I'LL HANDLE THIS.

WOULD YOU COME WITH US,
MS. CHADWICK?

SIR, I REALLY
DON'T THINK IT'S FAIR

TO JUST SEARCH
A STUDENT'S LOCKER.

IT'S NOT ONLY UNFAIR,
IT'S ILLEGAL.

TOM, PLEASE STAY OUT OF THIS.

I'M ALREADY INTO IT.

RETURN TO CLASS
OR GET DETENTION.

OPEN IT.

DON'T DO THIS!

TOM...

I HAVE TO ASK YOU
NOT TO OPEN

JEFFREY STONE'S LOCKER.

I'M A POLICE OFFICER.

THAT WAS ONE
OF THE PIECES MISSING.

WHAT THE HELL
IS GOING ON HERE?

OPENING THAT LOCKER IS ILLEGAL
SEARCH AND SEIZURE.

Weintraub:
A COP?

WHY WASN'T
I NOTIFIED?

THEN IT'S NOT UNDERCOVER.

YOU'RE HARASSING
THE STUDENT BODY?

NO, I PRETTY MUCH STAY AWAY

FROM THE STUDENT
BODIES.

OPEN IT.

NOT WITHOUT PROBABLE CAUSE.

WHAT HAPPENED LAST NIGHT
IS CAUSE ENOUGH.

ALBERT SAW STONE'S CAR
IN THE PARKING LOT

BEFORE HE OPENED THE SCHOOL.

Janowitz:
HE WAS SLINKING THESE HALLWAYS.

I TURNED AROUND
AND HE DRIVES AWAY.

( school bell rings )

Weintraub:
I WANT STONE ARRESTED.

Hanson:
NO!

I HAVE
EVERY RIGHT...

LET ME DO MY JOB!

DON'T BE AN IDIOT.

Stone:
I DON'T KNOW.

THAT'S ASKING
A LOT.

Stone:
SOMETHING
I CAN DO FOR YOU?

NEED TICKETS TO VAN HALEN?

TELL YOU WHAT,
I'LL TRADE YOU

TWO FRONT ROW
CENTER SEATS

FOR A STACK
OF SIGNED HALL PASSES.

OPEN IT.

WHY?

OPEN YOUR
LOCKER, JEFF.

GET A GUY
SOME FAKE I.D.

AND WHAM,
HE STARTS

GIVING ORDERS
LIKE AN ADULT.

THIS ONE'S NOT FAKE.

WHY, YOU NARC BLOSSOM.

VERY SMOOTH
ROUTINE, GILMORE.

VERY SMOOTH
INDEED.

FOR A WHILE THERE, I THOUGHT
YOU WERE JUST A JERK

BUT YOU'RE
A PROFESSIONAL JERK

RIGHT?

GILMORE?

BET YOU THAT
ISN'T EVEN YOUR REAL NAME.

OPEN YOUR LOCKER, SON.

NOT WITHOUT A WARRANT.

EVEN THE CUB SCOUT HERE

WILL TELL
YOU THAT.

BUT THEN AGAIN

I'LL GET A KICK
OUT OF EMBARRASSING HIM.

OH, COME ON.

WOULD YOU PLEASE...

OH, THIS IS THE BEST
PART FOR YOU, GILMORE.

RIGHT?

RIGHT.

THAT'S NOT
MY MERCHANDISE.

IT'S TOO CHEAP.

YOU ONLY DEAL
IN QUALITY ITEMS.

Stone:
THAT'S RIGHT.

COME ON, YOU GUYS
CAN DO BETTER THAN THIS.

TRY AT LEAST
FOR A CLASS-A FELONY, HUH?

GET HIM OUT OF HERE.

YOU'RE UNDER ARREST.

I DIDN'T DO IT.

"YOU HAVE THE RIGHT
TO REMAIN SILENT.

"ANYTHING YOU SAY

"CAN AND WILL BE
USED AGAINST YOU

"IN A COURT
OF LAW.

"YOU HAVE THE RIGHT
TO AN ATTORNEY.

IF YOU GIVE UP
THAT RIGHT..."

WOULD IT MAKE
ANY DIFFERENCE

IF I TOLD YOU
I DIDN'T DO IT?

THANKS
FOR BAILING ME OUT.

IF I WASN'T GOING
TO LONDON TOMORROW

I'D HAVE LET YOU SPEND
THE NIGHT THERE.

I DIDN'T DO IT.

DON'T LIE.

I DON'T LIE.

WHY SHOULD I?

YOU DON'T EVEN LISTEN.

I'M ANGRY THAT YOU WERE
DUMB ENOUGH TO GET CAUGHT.

RIGHT.

IF YOU TURN A PROFIT,
PROTECT THE BOTTOM LINE.

MAYBE NEXT TIME
THERE WON'T BE
A BOTTOM LINE.

HOW ABOUT IF THERE'S
EVEN NO NEXT TIME?

( car engine starts )

HI.

CAN I EXPLAIN?

NO.

MS. CHADWICK...

DON'T CALL ME MS. CHADWICK.

YOU LIED TO ME.

NO, I MISLED YOU.

I WAS ONLY DOING MY JOB.

OH, "YOUR JOB."

EMOTIONALLY RIPPING OFF

AND HUMILIATING KIDS
LIKE JEFFREY STONE.

IS THIS PART
OF YOUR JOB, TOO?

A PRETTY NICE GIFT

BUT I DON'T
IMPRESS THAT EASY.

I DIDN'T
GIVE YOU THIS.

CUTE CARD, BUT YOU
SPELLED LORD BYRON WRONG.

WHEN DID YOU GET IT?

IT WAS ON MY DOORSTEP
WHEN I GOT HOME.

NICE TOUCH.

REMINDS ME
OF TENTH GRADE.

JEFFREY WOULD HAVE GIVEN ME
VAN HALEN TICKETS.

ONE OF HIS NIGHTLY STOPS
WAS YOUR BEDROOM WINDOW

TO WATCH YOU
PICK OUT UNDERWEAR.

WHAT?

YEAH.

BUT HE DIDN'T
GIVE YOU THIS.

HE WAS SOLD OUT
TWO NIGHTS AGO

AND HE'S BEEN IN JAIL
SINCE THIS AFTERNOON.

WHO DID?

NOT ME.

AND ALL THE ROSES?

NOW, THOSE I WISH
I DID GIVE YOU, YOU KNOW.

WHAT DO YOU DO?

GO FROM HIGH SCHOOL
TO HIGH SCHOOL

PICKING UP YOUR
ENGLISH TEACHERS?

HEY...

I WAS THE ONE
WITH A FLAT TIRE.

YOU WERE THE ONE
WITHOUT THE JACK.

FIFTY-FIFTY, HUH?

SIXTY-FORTY,
I'M IRRESISTIBLE.

AND OFF DUTY.

HOW ABOUT YOU?

BOYS DIDN'T KISS
LIKE THIS

WHEN I WAS
IN HIGH SCHOOL.

IT'S A GOOD THING.

YOU NEVER
WOULD HAVE GRADUATED.

WHAT'S WRONG?

IF I DIDN'T GIVE YOU
THAT COMPACT DISC PLAYER

AND STONE DIDN'T
GIVE IT TO YOU

MAYBE HE DIDN'T GIVE YOU
THE ROSES EITHER.

MAYBE SOMEONE ELSE DID.

OKAY, MAYBE.

WHICH MEANS MAYBE I BUSTED
THE WRONG GUY.

THAT'S MY BROTHER'S TROPHY

ALBERT.

KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF OF IT.

I WAS JUST CLEANING IT.

CLEAN THE WINDOWS, BUT STAY AWAY
FROM MY BROTHER'S STUFF.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

GOOD QUESTION.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

BET YOU THOUGHT
I WAS IN JAIL.

YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE

TO HAVE A RICH FATHER,
DO YOU, ALBERT?

I GOT TO TELL YOU, YOU'RE
A LOUSY BASKETBALL PLAYER.

I'VE BEEN WATCHING YOU.

YOU'RE AS BAD AS WHEN YOU
PLAYED WITH MY BROTHER.

YOU STILL STINK.

YOU SET ME UP, YOU GOOF.

IT WAS YOU, MAN.

YOU SEE, I HANG AROUND HERE.

KEEPS ME AWAY FROM OUT THERE.

I SEE EVERYTHING.

I SAW IT ALL.

YOU STEALING STUFF.

I FIGURED,
IT'S NONE OF MY BUSINESS.

TILL I GOT BUSTED FOR IT.

WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?

PLAYING DUMB?

YOU'RE GOOD
AT THAT, ALBERT.

YOU'RE THE ONE
THAT PUT STUFF
IN MY LOCKER.

YOU PUT THE ROSES
ON MS. CHADWICK'S DESK.

I'M GOING TO TELL.

OLD MAN WEINTRAUB, THE COPS

EVEN PRETTY
LITTLE MISS CHADWICK.

DON'T TELL HER ANYTHING, KYLE!

"KYLE"?

THAT'S MY BROTHER'S NAME,
YOU TARDO.

DON'T TELL ME
YOU DON'T REMEMBER HIM.

HE GOT YOU BUMPED TO THE BENCH.

BET YOU CHADWICK WOULD LOVE HIM.

YOU TELL HER, I'LL KILL YOU!

YOU?

YOU CAN BARELY
EVEN MOP THESE HALLS.

PAL, YOU'RE A TARDO!

MY BROTHER SAID
YOU HAD BAD MOVES.

YEAH, KYLE, BIG SHOT!

YOU GOT TO PLAY!

I GOT TO RIDE
THE BENCH!

I'M NOT KYLE!

DROP IT, JANOWITZ, NOW!

( echoes of crowd cheering )

NO!

( echoes of crowd booing )

THE GUYS
WHO GO TO THE PLAYOFFS...

THEY GET THE GIRLS.

THEY GET A CHANCE TO WIN.

THEY GET A LIFE.

THE GUYS
WHO ARE ON THE BENCH...

THEY STAY THERE FOREVER.

( handcuffs clicking )

THANKS.

WHAT ABOUT
THE OTHER STUFF-- STOLEN?

I BOUGHT IT.

WHY?

WHY NOT?

LOOK, JUST FOR THE RECORD

I WASN'T SPYING
ON MS. CHADWICK.

I WAS TRYING TO GET UP
ENOUGH NERVE TO ASK HER OUT.

YOU BEAT ME TO IT.

I GUESS I DID.

VERY SMOOTH ROUTINE, GILMORE.

VERY SMOOTH.

I'M IMPRESSED.

REMIND ME--

I OWE YOU A COUPLE
GOOD SEATS

NEXT TIME SPRINGSTEEN
COMES IN TOWN.

YOU GOT IT.

I'LL SEE YOU.

YEAH.

OKAY, KYLE...

THIS ONE'S FOR YOU.

( horn honking )

HEY, LIZARD BREATH!

DIDN'T YOU
SEE ME?

HUH?

YOU GOT
A DRIVER'S
LICENSE?

GEEZ, GET OUT OF HERE!

Ioki:
EVERYBODY DRIVES
LIKE A MANIAC.

( muttering ):
AN OFFICER CANNOT ENGAGE

IN DIRECT
OR INDIRECT OWNERSHIP OF THE...

ORAL TEST,
ORAL TEST.

AROUND THE CORNER,
SIXTH FLOOR ELEVATOR.

Ioki:
A CONVICTED FELON MAY NOT
BE ISSUED A GUN PERMIT...

HARRY TRUMAN IOKI?

YES.

YOU'RE READY
FOR YOUR EXAM?

YES.

MY DRIVER'S LICENSE.

HI.

CAN I BUY YOU
A DRINK?

WHY DON'T WE JUST STAY IN?