101 Places to Party Before You Die (2022–…): Season 1, Episode 3 - Richmond - full transcript
Where else can you get a smash burger, ride in a tuktuk, and find spiritual LPs? Turns out it's Richmond, Virginia.
[ Howling, crow cawing ]
[ Organ playing ]
Teresa: I have never driven
in the cemetery and seen fog.
Jon: The fog is actually
pretty sketchy.
Adam:
What is that pyramid?
I mean, this is
the [bleep] up.
You notice
over here, that --
Jewish star.
Who's that?
to honor those who fought in the
Confederacy who were Jewish.
Oh, [bleep] that shit!
[Bleep] What?
Oh, God. I got to take
a 21 and Me right now.
21 and Me?
That sucks.
Hey. I'm Adam Pally.
And I'm Jon Gabrus.
We're comedians and best friends
who love to travel.
We got our dream job.
We're travel hosts.
Two more days,
mother[bleep]
We're going to show
you the best places to eat,
drink, and party
in a new spot each week.
But we only have one weekend to
hang out before we have
to get back to reality.
♪ Let's roll the dice ♪
We're out here
living our lives
at 100 miles an hour
until we die.
Which is probably soon.
[ Laughter ]
Together: This is "101 Places
To Party Before You Die."
Jon: This week, Adam and I
are in Richmond, Virginia.
Adam:
I know what you're thinking.
Old buildings
and Confederate statues, right.
Jon: But we've heard you can
have a pretty good time here
in the Brooklyn of the South.
That's right.
You came to the right place.
Adam: So we're here to find out.
Jon: Can Richmond party?
Why does it
only have three wheels?
[ Laughs ]
[ Groans ]
♪♪
-Hey!
-Ahh!
How you doin'?
That's my dude.
Oh, my God. By the way, I don't
know much about Richmond,
but I do now know
it's cold here.
It's freezing.
Have you been to
Richmond before?
No, I never been to Richmond.
I don't even think Richmond
is like the biggest city
in Virginia.
Me neither. But I'm excited
to see what it is.
Because we're supposed to go
on some kind of,
like, tuk tuk tour?
Tuk tuk?
It's like a golf cart slash
Vespa scooter kind of thing.
And we're going to see
the city in it.
Hello. I'm excited to go
on this urban safari.
[ Laughs ]
Oh!
Teresa: Oh, yeah.
Watch your head.
Yeah. Day late
and a dollar short.
That's why I like to let
him go in first.
Oh!
[ Laughter ]
We're off.
Adam: Will the locals make
fun of us
for driving around like this?
We take them to all the bars,
and they drink on board.
So we can drink here?
Oh, she can't drink
on the street.
But you can drink
in a Tuk Tuk.
Yes, because we are considered
an open air limousine.
Oh, can I have something?
At the next light?
Yeah.
Oh.
Hell, yeah.
Cool.
Cheers.
RVA? What does
RVA stand for?
Richmond, Virginia.
Got it.
Well, today's the day
to ask the question. [ Laughs ]
Doesn't mean I won't
ask it every day.
Here we are. Right here.
Classic set up.
The sign just says "Bar."
Yep.
Jon: Is slamming
Tallboys in a Tuk Tuk fun?
Obviously. But we'll
need to upgrade our drinks.
Adam: Rumor has it that Jasper
has a drinks list
that is rooted in history.
Jon: This is my kind
of history lesson.
Hello.
Bartender:
Hey. How's it going?
Adam: Is there
a drink for Richmond
that we should
be getting?
Quoit club punch. Yeah.
It was created by the guy
that we named the bar
after, Jasper Crouch.
He was a bartender
in the early 1800s.
What about
the nitro bourbon?
Yeah.
So it's a bourbon
and ginger that we keg.
Two different
types of bourbon.
One's a high rye bourbon.
One's a bonded bourbon.
Ooh. Now, I'd like to try
the draft zombie,
a nitro bourbon and ginger.
Jon: I'm digging this
Draft Zombie hard.
Oh, my God.
You have that on tap?
How do you not drink that
with your omelet in the morning?
[ Laughter ]
I got to try
the club punch.
Yeah.
Wah, wah, wah, wah,
wee wah.
I can't
stop sipping that.
I actually have to
move it away from me.
I would have like
four of those.
Some penicillin shots.
Oh!
Oh, no!
Penicillin. Not just
for diseased penises anymore.
[ Laughter ]
Cheers, Brandon.
To Jasper Crouch.
Yeah. When I cheers
to Jasper Crouch,
am I cheersing
a known racist?
Jasper Crouch was actually
a freed man of color.
Oh, to Jasper!
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
I'm dizzy.
Teresa:
Watch your head.
I'm definitely
not going to hit my head again.
Yo, what's the deal with
your legal marijuana?
Um, it's still
hard to buy.
Dispensary.
What's the public
consumption law of grass?
[ Laughter ]
Drop us off!
Drop us off!
We found our friend.
Is this it?
[ Laughs ]
I don't want to
give notes on the Tuk Tuk.
But maybe something
that raises this.
Adam: Going to
the Edgar Allen Poe Museum
half in the bag
feels appropriate.
Jon: I mean, Poe partied so hard
he married his own cousin.
I only got caught watching mine
go to the bathroom.
This counts as eating
your vegetables
when you're
on vacation, right?
Both: We're going
to a museum.
I wonder if the dude
in the old timey suit
is our tour guide.
What's your name, bud?
Chris.
I'm the curator here.
John.
Well, I hope so.
Or your just the guy of big fan
dressed like that.
Let's see some Poe stuff.
[ Piano plays ]
Now, I understand being a dad
where your son
sees the "Do not touch"
and insists on hitting keys.
Oh, Pluto does
not like that.
You should tune that.
[ Laughs ]
Chris: This is
the Enchanted Garden.
This was laid out
a century ago
as Richmond's
memorial to Poe.
They wanted
a statue of Poe,
but he didn't fight
in the Confederacy.
So he didn't
get a statue.
Good on Poe.
What is this
in reference to?
[ Jon laughs ]
-But he's from Richmond.
-He's from Richmond.
From Boston.
but grew up here.
So probably he was like
the [bleep] Raven
wouldn't leave the ad.
No, he had
a Richmond accent.
They don't even
make coffins big enough for me.
But you're assuming that they're
considering how you feel.
You're dead.
They're smushing
you in there
like a mushroom.
-There you go.
-Oh, geez, Adam.
Adam: Can you put
the whole thing?
Can you get
it totally shut?
Yeah. We're going to get
the hammer and nails out.
Great.
Adam: Up next is Veil Brewery,
home of a truly insane
list of beers.
Jon: Can we drink them all?
I don't know.
Just don't tell my liver,
but we're trying.
Adam: This is like the flagship
Richmond brewery.
What is it about this brewery
that people tend like?
I think that the thing that
people really come out for is
our co-founder and head brewer
worked at some of
the world's best breweries,
that I think like
brings beers nerds.
Then that one's
the White Ferrari.
And that's delicious.
And then that's We Ded.
[ Laughs ]
Oh, I'm a babushka boy.
Movie star Adam Pally
incognito.
Good luck.
All the stuff I've learned about
Richmond so far I am into.
It's a cool place
for sure.
History comes with
some bad stuff,
but it also spans
half a millennium.
The people that we've met are
trying to move past that.
Eleanor: Our flagship IPA,
Master Shredder.
Shredder!
♪ Go ninja, go ninja, go ♪
Why do I even remember
"Ninja Rap"
but not
my mom's birthday?!
[ Laughs ]
[ Organ playing ]
Teresa: I have never driven
in the cemetery and seen fog.
Jon: The fog is actually
pretty sketchy.
Adam:
What is that pyramid?
I mean, this is
the [bleep] up.
You notice
over here, that --
Jewish star.
Who's that?
to honor those who fought in the
Confederacy who were Jewish.
Oh, [bleep] that shit!
[Bleep] What?
Oh, God. I got to take
a 21 and Me right now.
21 and Me?
That sucks.
Hey. I'm Adam Pally.
And I'm Jon Gabrus.
We're comedians and best friends
who love to travel.
We got our dream job.
We're travel hosts.
Two more days,
mother[bleep]
We're going to show
you the best places to eat,
drink, and party
in a new spot each week.
But we only have one weekend to
hang out before we have
to get back to reality.
♪ Let's roll the dice ♪
We're out here
living our lives
at 100 miles an hour
until we die.
Which is probably soon.
[ Laughter ]
Together: This is "101 Places
To Party Before You Die."
Jon: This week, Adam and I
are in Richmond, Virginia.
Adam:
I know what you're thinking.
Old buildings
and Confederate statues, right.
Jon: But we've heard you can
have a pretty good time here
in the Brooklyn of the South.
That's right.
You came to the right place.
Adam: So we're here to find out.
Jon: Can Richmond party?
Why does it
only have three wheels?
[ Laughs ]
[ Groans ]
♪♪
-Hey!
-Ahh!
How you doin'?
That's my dude.
Oh, my God. By the way, I don't
know much about Richmond,
but I do now know
it's cold here.
It's freezing.
Have you been to
Richmond before?
No, I never been to Richmond.
I don't even think Richmond
is like the biggest city
in Virginia.
Me neither. But I'm excited
to see what it is.
Because we're supposed to go
on some kind of,
like, tuk tuk tour?
Tuk tuk?
It's like a golf cart slash
Vespa scooter kind of thing.
And we're going to see
the city in it.
Hello. I'm excited to go
on this urban safari.
[ Laughs ]
Oh!
Teresa: Oh, yeah.
Watch your head.
Yeah. Day late
and a dollar short.
That's why I like to let
him go in first.
Oh!
[ Laughter ]
We're off.
Adam: Will the locals make
fun of us
for driving around like this?
We take them to all the bars,
and they drink on board.
So we can drink here?
Oh, she can't drink
on the street.
But you can drink
in a Tuk Tuk.
Yes, because we are considered
an open air limousine.
Oh, can I have something?
At the next light?
Yeah.
Oh.
Hell, yeah.
Cool.
Cheers.
RVA? What does
RVA stand for?
Richmond, Virginia.
Got it.
Well, today's the day
to ask the question. [ Laughs ]
Doesn't mean I won't
ask it every day.
Here we are. Right here.
Classic set up.
The sign just says "Bar."
Yep.
Jon: Is slamming
Tallboys in a Tuk Tuk fun?
Obviously. But we'll
need to upgrade our drinks.
Adam: Rumor has it that Jasper
has a drinks list
that is rooted in history.
Jon: This is my kind
of history lesson.
Hello.
Bartender:
Hey. How's it going?
Adam: Is there
a drink for Richmond
that we should
be getting?
Quoit club punch. Yeah.
It was created by the guy
that we named the bar
after, Jasper Crouch.
He was a bartender
in the early 1800s.
What about
the nitro bourbon?
Yeah.
So it's a bourbon
and ginger that we keg.
Two different
types of bourbon.
One's a high rye bourbon.
One's a bonded bourbon.
Ooh. Now, I'd like to try
the draft zombie,
a nitro bourbon and ginger.
Jon: I'm digging this
Draft Zombie hard.
Oh, my God.
You have that on tap?
How do you not drink that
with your omelet in the morning?
[ Laughter ]
I got to try
the club punch.
Yeah.
Wah, wah, wah, wah,
wee wah.
I can't
stop sipping that.
I actually have to
move it away from me.
I would have like
four of those.
Some penicillin shots.
Oh!
Oh, no!
Penicillin. Not just
for diseased penises anymore.
[ Laughter ]
Cheers, Brandon.
To Jasper Crouch.
Yeah. When I cheers
to Jasper Crouch,
am I cheersing
a known racist?
Jasper Crouch was actually
a freed man of color.
Oh, to Jasper!
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
I'm dizzy.
Teresa:
Watch your head.
I'm definitely
not going to hit my head again.
Yo, what's the deal with
your legal marijuana?
Um, it's still
hard to buy.
Dispensary.
What's the public
consumption law of grass?
[ Laughter ]
Drop us off!
Drop us off!
We found our friend.
Is this it?
[ Laughs ]
I don't want to
give notes on the Tuk Tuk.
But maybe something
that raises this.
Adam: Going to
the Edgar Allen Poe Museum
half in the bag
feels appropriate.
Jon: I mean, Poe partied so hard
he married his own cousin.
I only got caught watching mine
go to the bathroom.
This counts as eating
your vegetables
when you're
on vacation, right?
Both: We're going
to a museum.
I wonder if the dude
in the old timey suit
is our tour guide.
What's your name, bud?
Chris.
I'm the curator here.
John.
Well, I hope so.
Or your just the guy of big fan
dressed like that.
Let's see some Poe stuff.
[ Piano plays ]
Now, I understand being a dad
where your son
sees the "Do not touch"
and insists on hitting keys.
Oh, Pluto does
not like that.
You should tune that.
[ Laughs ]
Chris: This is
the Enchanted Garden.
This was laid out
a century ago
as Richmond's
memorial to Poe.
They wanted
a statue of Poe,
but he didn't fight
in the Confederacy.
So he didn't
get a statue.
Good on Poe.
What is this
in reference to?
[ Jon laughs ]
-But he's from Richmond.
-He's from Richmond.
From Boston.
but grew up here.
So probably he was like
the [bleep] Raven
wouldn't leave the ad.
No, he had
a Richmond accent.
They don't even
make coffins big enough for me.
But you're assuming that they're
considering how you feel.
You're dead.
They're smushing
you in there
like a mushroom.
-There you go.
-Oh, geez, Adam.
Adam: Can you put
the whole thing?
Can you get
it totally shut?
Yeah. We're going to get
the hammer and nails out.
Great.
Adam: Up next is Veil Brewery,
home of a truly insane
list of beers.
Jon: Can we drink them all?
I don't know.
Just don't tell my liver,
but we're trying.
Adam: This is like the flagship
Richmond brewery.
What is it about this brewery
that people tend like?
I think that the thing that
people really come out for is
our co-founder and head brewer
worked at some of
the world's best breweries,
that I think like
brings beers nerds.
Then that one's
the White Ferrari.
And that's delicious.
And then that's We Ded.
[ Laughs ]
Oh, I'm a babushka boy.
Movie star Adam Pally
incognito.
Good luck.
All the stuff I've learned about
Richmond so far I am into.
It's a cool place
for sure.
History comes with
some bad stuff,
but it also spans
half a millennium.
The people that we've met are
trying to move past that.
Eleanor: Our flagship IPA,
Master Shredder.
Shredder!
♪ Go ninja, go ninja, go ♪
Why do I even remember
"Ninja Rap"
but not
my mom's birthday?!
[ Laughs ]