#heuldoch - Therapie wie noch nie (2020) - full transcript

Your breath becomes
slower and slower.

Your legs become
one with the earth.

Your heart beats like a birch.

OK, continue. No.

Oh god, paddle now!

You have to paddle.
I'm paddling.

But in the wrong direction.
How do you want to know that?

You paddle to the headlights!
I don't!

Lin

glory

Kobe Mueller



Julian Trott

We will freeze to death.
I'm just saying.

Yes.

Now would you rather
be punching belt holes

while law enforcement
officer flip fingers

accidentally slips
into your butt?

You're disgusting.

You're probably wondering
how such a charming creature as I

could ever end up behind bars.

She posed as a ticket inspector.

Controlling is in my blood.

And then she got a fare dodger

who didn't want to pay, too...

Yeah...
...dragged to the cops.



Lin Wischnowski...
is a murderess. Hm?

Now listen. I'm not a murderer.
So almost, almost.

I just have a problem with
too many men on the board.

The woman has a
problem with men in general.

She's a feminist burglar.

I'm cold.
Great.

We are in the forest.

Why should you make a plan?

I would love to
have a crush again.

We don't need it, because
otherwise you could also...

But I'm old... Shh!

How nice.

Hey! What if there's
someone in there?

Cardboard. There is no one.
I can see that from here.

Oh God!

OK, I admit it.

The plan wasn't bad,
but the "how" sucked.

How so? We're sitting here now.

Come on, let's check out the place.
Maybe we can find a safe.

Wait a moment.

OK.

Hey.

# Ay, boy, whatcha say, boy?
You tryna play coy like a Gameboy?

Hit my phone boy, is you home boy?

Are you alone boy?
Give me dome, boy... #

"Dipl. Psych. Charlotte Scharf."

"Behavioural Therapy."

Who can be treated by them?

"Your eyes are getting heavy.

You are very relaxed

you let go of everything

Your heart beats to
the rhythm of a birch.

Your fingers..."

Ah! Man!

Must be a good therapist.

As if therapy had ever
done anything for anyone.

I mean, penis envy? Serious?

What?

Specki, go ahead.

Ouch. Man, I don't see anything.

Huh? It looks like
we're in jail here.

One two three.

Did you hear it crack too?
Nope.

She doesn't move anymore.

Do you hear something?
Nope. You?

Nope.

Give yours.

Go now.

Oh!

"Poppy. There's nobody
there. I can see that from here."

Why do I keep letting
you talk me into doing this?

Lin, it wasn't your fault.

Of course not.
You don't have to blame yourself.

I know.

If you want to
talk about it then...

So I only see one therapist
here, and she's dead.

Do you hear the?

Fuck!

Cops!

We have to get out. Out, out!
No! This way.

Now help me.
These aren't cops.

A guy gets out
and he comes here!

What? What kind of
guy and why is he here?

It's all your fault.

No one must know I'm here!

Lin!
What?

She's way too fat.
I can't get them down.

Okay, let's put that
thing over there.

There's another one coming.

Here also.

Hey, I know him from the
shower gel commercial.
What?

"Banananas, sock a chok,
reach for the peach, mints prints."

"I'm your banana boy, boy..."

What do they all want here?

My phone number.
Oh God.

Come on now.

Maybe they'll go away again.

Hey, Kobe.

They actually look pretty nice.

Kob Mueller?
Kobe Mueller.

Kobe!
Yes.

Hey, great free kick against Real.

Um. Are you the therapists?

No. We are not.

The therapist's
name is Dr. Scharf.

We're making a breakthrough.
Miss Dr. Scharf?

We rush past them... No, no, no.

Now brains are
required, not brute force.

You just don't want to run

Correctly.

Ralf Kroll, film producer.

Pleasant. Prof. Dr. Ferdinand
Geiger, gynaecologist.

I read about you.
Hi?

Hi?

Wow.
Is this already therapy?

Ah!

Great. Has the
psycho shit started yet?

I'm ten minutes late.

Am I supposed to
crawl here right now?

Who is here, Frau Dr. Scharf?

I am...

Miss Dr. Scharf.

And this... is my colleague.

Frau Dr... Doctor...

Stop it.
Dr...

things.

May I introduce:
Dr. Juliane Dings.

Things like bang?

Nah, just things, no bang.

OK. So the first thing to do
is hand over all your valuables.

What?
Cell phones, tablets,
watches, wallets.

And your gold chains there.
What?

Is boring. Boring...

That's very private. You
are invading my privacy.

You'll get that back.

Please don't.
Yet.

Ah. What do you
think I hid there?

It's super old.
Is that your girlfriend?

This is my mom.

Oh, never mind.

I don't really know
what I'm doing here.

I have dedicated my life
to researching the clitoris.

If you have seen a successful

German film in the
last three decades,

I had my hands in it.

I'm Julian Trott and I've been

publicly dragged
through the mud.

Kobe Mueller.

Do I have to say more?

I'm sending my management
what you guys are doing here.

Hey! Cell phone, no photos.
Hey!

I said so.

Cool.
Cell phone.

You can have
anything from me baby

But you can't get my cell phone.

I... am the therapist.

And if you want me to give you

therapy, then you
have to follow my rules.

Yes, exactly.

Sounds good, but the
cell phone stays with me.

All right, then everyone packs

up their things
and therapy is over.

Hey, spat. Hand over your cell phone.

Hey, come on. You're
expecting a trial.

I saw you on tv.

You're every single
parent's nightmare.

And you never closed your robe.

I can afford it.
Mobile.

Stop! Do not touch!
Rape! Assault!

Spast.

Welcome to therapy.

Sun. Always into the chalet.

Hop, hop, a little faster.
We don't have forever.

Can you go any slower? Grandpa?

Are they kidding me or what?

Great. Thank you very much.

Good night.

Huh. It's not really over now, is it?

Hey, my luggage!

And where is my room?

527 euros and 38 cents, three expensive
but really ugly watches, an even uglier

gold chain and
three old laptops.

That's pretty bad, Gloria.

It is always the date of birth.

As if people couldn't
remember any other numbers.

Fuck.

Ok Gloria.

If we make it to Berlin...

You know Lin...
...could we...

Behavior therapy really is

an incredibly fascinating field.

Absolutely no way.
What then?

There's no way we're staying here.

And we definitely won't

Play therapists for these guys.

Oh, no?
No.

Really not?

Non?
No!

Lin, nobody's looking for us here.

And when the coast is
clear, then we continue.

But we are not therapists.
Oh, no one notices.

I was in therapy too.
Oh yes.

Listen and nod now and then.
You don't have to do more than that.

The only mistake you can
make is if you nod too much.

But just hold on to me.
Just nod when I nod.

Lin, these guys must
have more in their

bank accounts than
that whopping 500 euros.

And we need money
for new passports.
Mmm.

For the tickets to South America.
Hm.

Me for my Dolce Vita Ranch.
Mmm.

And you for your yellow sports
car with all the yellow pipapo.

Oh... Yellow body,
yellow leather seats...

Here he is.

25,000 euros for a... therapy?

How disturbed are they?

Yes. That's exactly what
we're going to find out.

And once they trust us

because we're
their therapists...

Then we take them the
access PINs for online banking

out the nose, and then...

New York, Rio, Tokyo.

But first class, oho.

We're going to South America.

And to North America.

We'll go there together.

Boom, boom, boom. Money like that...

But now...

Why 25,000 euros?

What must a man have done wrong

to pay 25,000 euros for therapy?

What do I know. Ah...

Dominant mother,
a wimp father, the

little brother got more
and more attention.

Oh God. Men really are that boring.
Huh what?

They're hoping for a reduced
sentence if they do this.

Do you know why they are here?

Because of massive
sexual assault.

Did you just say sex? Cool.

Hi.

Relax.

We've got the boys under control.

Good night.

Good. I'm open with you.
There have been nos.

There have already been clear nos.
But I saw in the eyes:

"I want it. Take me. I want it."

You can feel that as a man.

"No" is a "yes".

"No, no, no." Yes!

And now a huge... huge
problem is being turned out of it.

And I don't understand.
I do not get it.

Jumping jack, jumping jack,
jumping jack in the morning.

Down.

My grandmother is faster there.

Now run!
You have legs! Here we go!

Ah, Herr Geiger.

All pushups in a row!
Here we go! Yes indeed!

Two three four!

What is this shit here?
I'm not a wild boar.

That's not therapy.
That's shit jogging.

If you don't feel
like it, just go home.

This is terrorism.

It does not work. I have to be here.

And get up.

And back down!

And one, and two,
three, four, five, six.

87 allegations of
sexual harassment.

Actresses, film students.

Oh God.
Assistants.

Who was that, huh?

Ah, what is this?
Who?

It's not all true,
but that was me.

Most of the attacks...

Ah shit. What a crap!

...is said to have committed the
producer in the open terry bathrobe.

My bathrobe was made of
silk, you stupid fo... gymnast.

Please? What is she?
Nothing.

Well, tell me.
I didn't say anything at all.

What did you want to say?
Did you mean to say cunt?

No, nonsense.
Nah, didn't you mean to say?

I thought you meant cunt.
No, no...

- Uhh! Oh...
- What is it?

He developed an
app for single parents.

"Single moms dot net".

Thank you, Mr Kroll.

And after filtering all the data
from these ladies, he met them

by accident afterwards.
Yes.

And then invited to a
two-star hotel after all.

Where he forced anal intercourse!
That's rubbish.

They didn't want it any other
way. I did them a favor.

The milfs really
wanted to be banged.

They don't get any more.
They're chronically screwed.

I am actually a messiah.

It is enough. I have enough!

Mr Kroll.
Snout.

Mr Kroll!
Bite me!

I didn't think it would
be that much fun.

Kobe Müller keeps sending
photos to his female fans.

Kobe Mueller.

Do you know what? From his penis.

Last to a fan several dozen.

How old is she? Thirteen?

Eight-year-olds look like they're
in their mid-20s these days.

Makeup, push-ups,
this, that. It's not my fault.

No...

Sorry, but that's
the mother's fault.

My child should never
walk around like that.

I have something else of interest.

Professor Dr. Dr. Ferdinand Geiger.

He has secretly taken photos
of his patients' vaginas in his

gynecological
practice since 1983.

How many? Who knows it?

If I may allow myself a remark,

Your undertone
suggests perversion.

But I can assure you that

my analysis is
purely scientific.

You know what? I'm not
assuming anything, I'm stating.

Am I still allowed to breathe?

My clitoris analysis
is gender neutral.

Ah... Nothing but that.

I would love to
explore men's clitoris,

but unfortunately
they don't have any.

How many vaginas
have you snapped now?

13,505?

What?
13,000 pussies?

That's disgusting.

That's one every day.
Respect, Dr. Gyn.

Oh well.
If you calculate it

correctly, it is
even 1.1 to 1.2.

So the holidays are coming

Holidays and
Christmas, for example.

This is the story egg.

I'm breaking.

And the one who has
that has to tell the story.

Hep.

Excuse me. Ah...

Don't we have a private session?
Nope.

What?
They'll come later, Mr. Kroll.

Please.

Yes. Um...

I want to change.
Mmm.

What kind of nerd are you?
We are listening.

I...

I made mistakes.
Mmm.

I...
never wanted to offend anyone.

Mmm.
And me...

I underestimated how my
position of power affects others.

I can understand that
very well, Mr. Kroll.

But that number, uh...

87 assaults, yes?

That's not that easy.
Yes, Yes Yes.

The women came to me.

They wanted something from me.
Mmm.

They stood in line.
They undressed in front of me.

They wanted everything from me.

Good, ok.
I took her, yes?

But let me tell you, what
used to be a completely normal

meeting is now suddenly a rape.

I have never forced
anyone to do anything.

Mmm.

What do you live on, Mr. Kroll?
Do you have reserves?

What's that supposed to mean now? Money...

Money does not matter.

Now pass the egg on
before another chick hatches.

Yes... Bayern
want me to do that.

Mmm.
Really? I thought you were going to Barca.

The Bavarians?
Yes.

An entire federal state
demands therapy from you?

Huh? What are you talking about?

Mr. Maier, why are
you... Kobe Mueller.

Mueller. Kobe Mueller. What Maier?

Kobe Mueller.
Excuse me.

Mr Müller.

Why are you here?

I only took pictures of myself.

I don't understand
this big deal,

why am I sitting
next to criminals now?

Mr. Müller...

The guy wants to
ass fuck all the time.

He's a pervert, he rapes,
he takes pictures of pussies.

I only took pictures of myself.

What's wrong with that?
From your bare cock.

That's perverted.
You're a pervert.

I haven't touched anyone.
Now I'm the criminal.

I'm not a pervert.
You're a pervert.

I'm not a pervert.
He's a pervert.

In the end, I decide who
is a pervert here or not.

Mr Geiger.

Please.

My license as a
doctor was revoked.

Mmm.

But then, and that's
my great fortune,

the judge gave me
the opportunity...

Are you rich?

I beg your pardon?
Are you rich, grandpa?

We must be able to fully
assess the circumstances of our

clients in order to heal them.

I had to pay several
100,000 euros in damages.

So... my volume
has shrunk a lot.

Egg.

Uh... Tell me, are
you stupid or what?

These are 450 euro pants!
Sorry.

And what should I
say here now, huh?

What can I say?

What do you want to hear?
Mr Trott.

Why are you here?

Good.

I open now, yes?
Willingly.

So...

Earlier on the dung heap, yes?
Mmm.

I had violent fantasies.

Would you like to
share them with us?

Yes very much.

Well, I kind of had
this image in my head

of tying Frau Doctor
to a tree, and then...

things...

bang.

Yes, come on.

Beat me. Come.

Do you think that's sexy?

Answer calmly.

Yes.

I find that sexy.

That is not how it works.
Gosh.

I find that sexy.
You are so disgusting.

Someone else's spit in your mouth?

Thanks.

Yes, very nice.

That's it for today.

Ah, gorgeous.

Let me examine you.

Huh? Why?
Dude, aren't you ashamed?

Don't act like
you're not into it, too.

So gross.
You're a pervert.

I suggest we calm down now.

He says tie to a tree.

Here's to you, fluschefinger.

Stupid asshole.

You paint them all way too pretty.

A woman will probably
still be allowed to dream.

Alright Johnny.
Jimmy, Jimmy. Good, good, good, good.

So the gynecologist
is supposedly broke.

"Colleague, I have only done

all this in the
name of science."

You know what?
Your mother, science.

So here.
This is a real psycho.

I'm not afraid of Psycho.
But you should.

This man got stuck in the

anal phase during his childhood.

So what? I won't let anyone
tell me who I'm afraid of.

Also not before which phase.

Cool.

Johnny.

Filmfutzi, he has a
helicopter, he has a

silk bathrobe, he
has really good cigars.

There's something to get.

Money is not an issue.

OK.
I'll take the football billionaire.

The bathrobe suits you better.
OK.

Psh.
Ring.

Digger, stop it.
This whole issue just annoys me.

It bugs me so needlessly
and it's only because I'm fame.

Otherwise they wouldn't
all have me... What minor?

It's not the first
time someone says,

blah, I'm actually
younger, like that.

Mei, then I'll push
50,000 over there,

and then the thing
is done, like that.

But then the mom
probably... said to herself:

"Nah, that's my daughter. I'm too
proud to take the money now and I'd

rather report him
and women ahead."

Feminist blah blah blah.

What do I know? No plan.

But somehow they must
have pushed hate on me.

Yes, I just watch porn, like that.

But I am sure that the
money was transferred.

Yes, um.

Unfortunately, the money has
not yet arrived in my account.

That's why we kindly
ask you to check again.

No therapy without coal.

Here it is.

25,000 transferred to you.
Ah! Okay thanks.

Very beautiful. Thank you very much.

Excuse me.
Can I log out again?

With pleasure, Mr. Kroll.
At any time, Mr. Kroll. With pleasure.

Thank you, Mr Kroll.
See you soon.

We are happy.

Great client.

Quickly!
OK...

On, on, on.

Wait. There.

Oh man!
That can not be true.

Crap.
That's impossible.

And now?

You keep them busy and

I'll figure out some therapy.

What am I supposed
to do with them?

Do anything. Pot hitting.

Alright guys. But now ballet.

I said get there quicker.

Grandpa has to go to the hospital.

Now stop whining.
My grandmother is fitter there.

Is it like that every
morning with the mud sport?

What shoud that?
What's the point?

That's pointless. That's
the thing. No point at all.

I want out of the dirty clothes.
So!

Gentlemen.

Let's stop whining again.

Here are your fresh clothes.

There, there, there, there!

There, my dears. Now
look for something nice.

Ah, Mister Geiger. Mister Geiger!
This is for you.

So listen... I don't
want this. No way...

I simply invite you on a

journey to your inner woman.

You can put them
on like a glove.

For example with this dress.
Discover inner woman...

Doctor, take a look.
I think this

dress here would
suit you very well.

Ah yes?
I think you're better off.

This is unbearable. Women
and men are very different.

I'll do anything
for you, doctor.

Slime, hey.

Wow.

Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow!
That suits you so well.

Are you serious?

Yes, Yes, Yes!
Hmm. Ham!

Mmm.
Thanks.

Thanks.
Fine, fine. May I?

Yes.
Nice.

Doctor, here. Look.
I am ready, too.

I'm sexy too. Here.

Uh, uh. I am so sexy.

Up the skirt, in the stick.

Hey, you can see that
we're talking right now, right?

Yes, I'm talking here as well.
You see too, don't you?

Uh-uh-uh. Ah, I'm so sexy.

I am so sexy. Uh...

I look so good.

Oh, if I could, I'd fuck myself.

What's the shit?

Go away now.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!

Are you stupid?
Touch me again!

Oh, oh, oh, oh. Quiet now, Mr. Maier.
Mueller.

Hey, ey, ey, ey!
Mr. Müller! Mr Müller!

No, if they make me look
like that... Therapy isn't over.

That's just the beginning. Please.
You saw me.

Oh, please.
Always these discussions.

This is so unnecessary.
Mega beautiful.

Mr. Müller, tell us a little

bit about your inner woman.

Who are you? What's your name?
Kobe. Huh?

The woman you just slipped on.

What does the? Does she have a job?
How old is she?

I am Joy.
Joy!

Yes, nice name.
Great.

I am Maya.
Mmm.

- Hi.
- Hello, Maya.

Ah. Hi.

I am 34 years old.

And four years ago,

Rudi left me with Robin.

Yes, and I'm... 22.

Kindergarten teacher
and... Very nice.

Yes. I'm pretty,
I'm good looking.

And I know that, I'm
a beautiful woman.

Stop laughing man!

I have not done anything!
I was just looking.

Yes, it's hard being
a single parent.

I have two jobs, but
never any money.

And the Robin... he
needs... a lot of attention.

What about the girl?

Joy, or what?
No, with the other girl.

Who sent your pics, dick pics.

Hey, now what does that have to do with it?
It's part of the therapy.

Like, part of therapy?

What does that have to do
with what I'm wearing right now?

Is part of the therapy.
Ah, Mr. Müller. Oh...

But now there's hope.
Mmm.

Because I met a man.

And it's really great.
He really notices me.

For the first time in a long, long
time, I feel like I'm also a woman

and not always just a mother.

He's very charming.

He has great lips
and great hair.

This man's name is Julian.

Mmm.
And our dates are really exciting, yes?

In bed, he does things to me

that no one has ever done to me.

He shows me things, he takes me

from all sides, he
takes me really hard...

What's that now?

I'm so nice in it right now!
Yes, me too.

Knock Knock.

In.

Smile a little more.

Boss.

You recently asked
for a higher salary,

doris

More salary, yes?

What have you done
more in the last month?

I'll keep your calls off my back.
Aha.

I take care of your
children's birthday presents.

Oh, children at play.
Even the illegitimate.

I coordinate the second
wife and the third wife.

Sodom and Gomorrah.

And make sure the
first wife doesn't find out.

Doris, Doris.

I bribe the agencies, I bribe the
press, and I write your acceptance

speeches for the film awards.

Doris, my pearl.

Well, tell me...

doris

What have you done
lately that's special for me?

Hm?

If you want more,
you have to do more. Hm?

Doris - my pearl.

I need to know
if I can trust you.

Wow, wow, wow, wow...

You are a beautiful woman.

Hm?

You got something. Hm?

Everything is there
that you need. Hm?

Well...

Unfortunately...

no raises in salary this month.

We all need to
tighten our belts.

You can go.

This is supposed to be therapy, right?

I came here to learn something.

To change me!
Mmm.

But you shamelessly
abuse your power.

To humiliate me.
Yes, nuggets. Hm?

Do you notice something? Is it slow?

Huh?

Hi.

I am Belinda, the
flower of the desert.

Yeah!
O, Belinda!

God I can't take it anymore

Grandpa?
It hurts so damn.

Oh God.

I can't be a woman.

I would like to raise my glass
to my colleague, Herr Geiger.

The meal was delicious.

Dr. Vagina,
the food is delicious.

Hey.
- Thank you very much.

By the way, I really appreciate
the work of my secretary.

Of course you do. She
does everything for you too.

I exaggerated a bit in the
sense of therapy exercise.

Of course, I write
my speeches myself.

Excuse me.

Madam, I would
like to toast you.

I learned something
from you today.

Chapeau.
I strongly doubt that.

To our inner women.
Let him go.

To our inner women.
No! To our inner bitches!

On the inner pussies!

They're all sluts except Mom.

That's just how it is.

All bitches except mom.
Full. Yes / Yes.

Mr. Maier, I like you.
Mr Müller.

May I interrupt for a moment?

For all viewers at home,
all mums and daughters.

Now something really clever is coming.
Eavesdroppers unlocked.

Why do women dress like this?

Why do they want to show legs?
Tell me, please!

We want to show legs
because legs are beautiful

Exactly. And then what do you want?
Miss Dr. Scharf can afford it.

And then you want
a little bit sexy...

And that, isn't it?

Honestly, why do
all women want me?

Why?

Now it's getting
really, really exciting.

Just for money.

Women would not
survive alone and die out.

Women need men to
survive. That's just how it is.

You are very wise for your age.
But I'll give you a tip.

Women who want
to be treated like dirt.

Thank you very much!
That is the secret!

Thank you very much!

You must treat her really
badly. Then they like you.

If you treat them well,
they will not respect you.

Or they marry you and
then it's all over anyway.

Digger, my man.
My man! My man!

He's right 100 percent.
They need that.

What's green and blue and
doesn't like to fuck? Hm?

Ah. Excuse me, Gloria?

Does the therapist in you want to
say anything about this nonsense?

The therapist in me
just has a day off. Yes?

That's why... No.

"Non, rien de rien..."
Yes, awesome.

"No, je ne regrette..."

I have one more.
So, a woman comes to the doctor.

Nope.
Come doctor whatnot at the doctor's!

Goodnight.

Huh? Hi!

Hey! It's just so
nice and moody here.

What's the point now?

Miss Dr. Scharf.

I have to tell you something.

Lin is my best friend.

It's also my only friend.

Here, that's a good thing, because
it would be totally crazy if they

were two different people.

Yes. But...

What am I supposed to
do now if she despises me?

What should I do
then, Dr. Scharf?

I'm just trying to
get along with these

guys you've invited
into your house.

But I'll tell you one

thing, lady, face to face.

I am a good therapist and I see

that these people
cannot be treated.

Yes?

Oh, Dr. Scharf.
I like her so much.

I'll do it

I do it. Promised.

Shh.

You're actually quite nice.

Yes, a bit stupid, but nice.

Yes, I know, my
dear wife Dr. Whatnot,

what you think now.

You think I'm shit again now.

I know that for a fact.

I can tell you one thing.

You're a real fun
killer sometimes.

You don't have to pretend
you're not there, yeah.

I tied the woman up.

We were in the hotel, I tied her

up and then I
fucked her in the ass.

No, she said "Ouch",
but that's natural...

That was a "Lust-Au". Yes.

I looked for you everywhere.

Are you mad?
No, nonsense.

Not at all.
I'm not that fat now.

I don't care what you do, but
I won't stay here another day.

Therapy ended.

That was a good shot.

Hey Lin!

Just think about the money.

Did you get any PINs? Hm?

You're just having fun

Playing therapist for these

monkeys and letting
them tease you!

Who teased me?

You don't give a shit what
these guys did to women!

Your solidarity stops when
your libido kicks in.
Oh yes?

And who left me hanging

with all that shit last night?

I'm a woman too.
Ha, ha ha ha!

Tell me, are you
seriously asking me

to feel like shit just
because these guys

have any women
ever treated shit?

Wow.

You said that seriously, didn't you?
Yes I know.

You think I'm a bad person, oh

I think everyone is bad.

But these guys, yeah,
they're... they're mega extra bad!

We have to stick together.

Hey, I'm sorry.

Last night, when I
lay awake worrying

about you the whole
time, because...

Yes, exactly who believes it.

Hey, I cried all over my pillow

because I thought you were gone.

Rightly so.

Last night... I
definitely felt...

came up with a bombshell
how to get the PINs.

Me too.
Really?

Yes.
Tell me.

You say first.

Shall we say together?

OK.

Hy... Hy...

Gloria, you're repeating after me.
Nope. No, really not.

Let's do it again.

Hypnosis.
Hypnosis.

I had a great idea too.
Hypnosis.

Do you have the pendulum?

No, you?

That doesn't do anything for me.
I'm always in control.

Yes?

"Your eyes are getting heavy."

Your eyes are getting heavy.

Oh, oh, oh, now.
Now, doctor. Yes.

You are very relaxed.

We can do this for hours, honey.

Hourly...

"You let go of everything.

Your breathing is getting
slower and slower."

you let go of everything

Your breath becomes
slower and slower.

La...

Ah...

Think of your mom!

Ah...

Julian Trot.

Hm.

Where's your money?

Imagine you go shopping.

And you go to the checkout

and slide your debit
card into the thingy.

Whatnot.

What's your PIN?

I put my pin in a thingy.

What?

I hate you.

You can trust me.

Huh...

This is top secret.

Even I can't get there.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
You can do it.

The PIN for online banking.

What is the PIN? Mr Müller.

Mobilize your powers.

I mobilize.

I put my pin in the thing.

Finally.

I guide you.
Yes.

I guide you.
Yes.

I lead you...

to my wife.

You own my company.

You own my house.

You own my car.
Everything belongs to my wife.

And then my mother pushes me...

through her narrow birth canal.

And through the throbbing
glorious vagina I slip...

...into freedom.

I am dirt.
She doesn't want to see it, my wife.

Now listen.
Psycho.

Ah. Ah.

Oh. That was kind of good.

Ah, come on.
Liberating.

"Meanwhile, the
search for the two

very dangerous
escapees is ongoing

Lin Wischnowski and Gloria Hermann."

Why do they name you first?
Hush.

"The corpulent Hermann and the
fatalistically aggressive Wischnowski are

suspected in Brandenburg."
Did you hear?

Every police
station accepts tips.

OK.
Well, time's up.

Time's up.

I don't want to live in a country

where I'm publicly labeled as
overweight on the radio.

At least they
didn't call you fat.

Whoa.

Oh man.

Kobe. Mr. Mai...
Mr. Garbage... Mr. Maier.

Doctor, I've been
waiting for you.

No time for your shit.
I want individual therapy right away.

Did you choke your tongue?

Oh yeah, then I guess
there's no point in talking.

Only you can help me, Ms. Bums.

Oh.

My poor, poor Julian.

That's very difficult.

You are a very,
very valuable person.

Ah.

What shoud that? Why do they do that?

Because you need a lot of love.
Ah.

A lot of tenderness.

My beautiful erection!

Go on, I think it's awesome.

What are you saying?

Oh, I can't understand you.

You know, you need
to speak a little clearer.

Do you have enough?

Remember one thing:

If something smells like
shit, it probably is shit.

"I push you hard, so hard.

Yes. And I push, push, push,
push, push, push, push..."

OK. New York, Rio, Tokyo.

Oh!

Wow. What was that cool song?

"I push you hard",
that's my single.

18th in the charts.
Hm.

Nice title. Mmm.

Yes, why I'm here.

It's about, um... your PIN.

What about it?
Um...

What was the last
time you used it?

Just now.

What? Where?

Yes here.

Here?
Yes.

How... your PIN?
Did you use here? How come?

Should I now...

Huh.
Yeah, well... I just...

Tell me...

You wanted to speak to me?
Individual therapy.

For particularly difficult cases.

A thousand euros per ball?
No, I don't gamble for money.

Then what are you playing for?

How about a game
of strip billiards?

Pf. Strip billiards?
Mmm.

OK.

I give.

Well, then take off your vest.

Yes, and once I was
in a villa like that, no.

We had a pool there,
and then the doorbell rang.

Then the sexy
neighbor just came to

the door and said
she forgot her key,

if she can share my pool.

I said, sure, nothing at all.
Then she undressed.

And she didn't even have a
bikini, so she was naked.
Ah.

She undressed so she was
pointing in my direction... You know?

So, she has her butt
towards me... I saw everything.

And she's all over me,
and then she's so down...

Looked up from the
bottom like that, that was...

I didn't even know
you were in porn.

Hey, why porn?
You are telling me
a run-of-the-mill porn here.

No. Huh? That's how I always have sex.
Oh right.

Then you took her from behind

on the couch, then up the ass

and you ended up
cumming in her face?

No, I, uh...

Yes? Yes, Yes Yes.
I also squirt right away.

What is it like
being a producer?

Is there a black box?

A secret account in
the Cayman Islands?

Or another reserve
for hard days?

Unfortunately I have to disappoint you.

Hm, alright, nuggets.

You can keep your socks on.

Your PIN.
Why?

Because I can draw conclusions
about your sexual behavior from it.

I can't reveal my PIN.

OK.

Uh, I'm hot.

Hm.

Ah. Uff.

Uff. Oh, oh, oh.

Oof, hot.

Hot...

Uff. Ah.

Oh. Hm...

Is this some exercise?

Like it? Oh.
Hm.

Woah, woah, woah.

Ah. Woah, woah, woah.

There, my friend. Your PIN.

Your PIN. Give me your PIN.
Give me your PIN. Come.

Uh.
Oh.

That's the craziest thing
that's ever happened to me.

Come here. You love it.

Then I'll suck it for you, too.

Woah, stop, stop, um,
Dr. Dings. Um...

I'm still virgin.

I have to conserve.

I'm like a stamp collector.

I just have to collect
sheaths like a stamp collector.

All those meat lobes, all
those different rose colors

it's almost like
painting, like art, isn't it?

This... This palette
of red currents,

that flow past you
inside, that's divine.

This is hilarious.

Where are the others?

They're... They're in
individual therapy, aren't they...

Aha. And they forgot
us here, didn't they?

Well, there are only two
of the colleagues.
Mmm.

But something different.

Your pussy album, yes?

Now are you starting it again?

I kind of don't believe
you don't have copies.

I mean if I had
something like that, yeah

I would make a backup then.

Can you please promise me you

won't tell anyone
that I'm a virgin?

Man. You act like that.

Do you have a condom with you?

Yes, I always have
a condom with me.

OK, bring it on.

I can deflower you now,
it won't take two minutes.

Ah...

You know, they just don't know
what these photos mean to you.

And you, do you understand me?

Yes, I think so, yes.

I'm a hunter too.
A Predator.

I have to hunt.

Ever since I was a little boy I
wanted to see the hidden flowers.

Yes. The Hidden Flowers.
I want to pick them.

The holy book.

Is that cool?

Uh, somehow I imagined it to be

a bit more romantic
than it is now...

Ah yes.

How, with candlelight,
rose petals?

Yes, well, never mind. You
can do it differently when, right?

I need you to promise me
that you won't tell anyone.

Bayern will tear me apart.

OK, I won't tell anyone.
Thanks.

For real.

Promised.

If you tell me the PIN
for your online banking.

I thought "me too" means
all of you women don't want it.

Kröllchen, do you really want
me to explain that to you again?

Yes, please.
Sex? Yes.

Sexual harassment? No.

OK.

Just a moment.

You look good now.

Oh God. Bah. OK.

A, I wish I was blind.
And B, there are cops on the lake.

The power of the state must
also spoil everything for you.

Do you have Kobe's PIN?
I wasn't that far with Ralf.

Oh what a surprise.

Do you have the PIN?
No, his mom has it.

Why his mom?

What about the corpse?
They're charging us with murder.

Hey, that was an accident.

Accident, accident, it was
always just an accident.

Nevertheless, we
sat in jail for six years.

You, that could really be used
against us, that we removed the

corpse without calling a doctor,

put in the freezer.

Gloria, come now!

That's almost art.

Cops are coming.
What?

Crap.

Tell me... is this the
famous vagina album

all copies of which
have been destroyed?

No.

Let's see.
- No means no.

He also looked.

That's all I was able to
salvage from the collection.

Let me have a look.

The police must not
get their hands on it.

No way.
No one here wants cops.

We gotta get rid of the body or

we've got twenty
years on the clock.

Yes Yes Yes.

OK. One, two, three.

Gloria, that went really stupid.

It was not your fault.
I know.

And one, two, three.

Yep, yep, yep.

Ok, ok. Okay, great.

I once read somewhere
that dead people

are heavier than
when they are alive.

Aha.

OK, are you okay?
Yes.

No... Yes... No. Ah, oh god.
OK.

OK.

The air is clean.
Wheelbarrow.

Oh God. Yes.

OK.

Crap.

Oh God.

Uh, good day, Dr.
Dings, Dr. Scharf.

Good day.
Wonderful day.

Good day, Dr. Sharp,
good day.

Oh god, quick.
Come on, around the back of the boat.

Down there.

Oh yeah.
Quick, Lin, please.

A jerk off a day
keeps the doctor away.

I have not done anything.

Faster Lin!
I'm running.

Is this the pussy album?
Now show me the Athena.

No.
Is this the pussy album?

Please, this is absolutely not possible.
That is not allowed.

Come on, take a picture, man.

It hangs.

Oh God. Ah!

Please. Please.
A photo.

Alright.

My eye!
Fuck your eye.

This version I call Persephone.

The pronounced clitoris
testifies to a very strong character.

Where is the?

Make an effort.
She's like that...

Caution.

Ugh.

I've only banged
shaved ones before.

This is Aphrodite here.

OK. Come, come, come,
quick.

It is that the open labia...

What is?
...show the
direct entrance to the vagina.

And here we see the
clitoris very clearly.

Do you need a lawn mower?
They're in top form.

Colleagues claim
there is a similarity

between the clitoris
and the penis.

Come on.
But that's enough, grandpa.

Gloria.
The clitoris has a
shaft, glans and foreskin.

The opposite sex remains
the opposite sex, please.

In the name of all pussies. That...

No.
That's confiscated.

The therapy is over.

What?
What?

What, about the perverts?
You belong in jail. All!

Are you insane?
Because of you, thank you very much.

Not because of me.
Naturally.

Stop, stop.
Stay here.

Which one of you is Ralf...
- Kobe Mueller.

No.
- Yet.

No.
- Yet.

Well, that's not the case now.

Check my lifestyle, digger.
You, in our village. Hi.

What do you do?

What to do... No.

No! No! Oh God!
Have you gone insane?

That's my whole life's work.

I've been working on
this collection for 35 years.

Because of life's work.
I'm suing you!

Why are you looking so funny?
Persephone. Cleopatra!

Oh. Nothing.
I'll get you out of there

There's a sparkle in your eyes.

Oh, nonsense.

Mmm.
But that's enough for now.

Was there something?

Fuck the cops!

For... Peggy. What next?

Sue. S, U, E.
Yes.

She's only 13, but she's

such a die-hard fan, you know?

How old do you say?
Thirteen.

Sorry, but...

I only do autographs from the age of 18.

Diggers.
Hehe.

Which one of you
is Ralf Kroll now?

That's your man.
You looser.

Hey, stop.

Ah, you pigs, you stupid...

Mr. Kroll, you are
under arrest for rape.

Now let me do it.
You are men too!

Now... I swear I
didn't do anything!

I have not done anything.

Mr Kroll.
Stay nice.

They all said yes, everyone.

Do you think Dr. Sharp and
Dr. Whatnot left us

'cause we're so awful?

I'm no more terrible
than anyone else.

You maybe?

I'm still virgin.

No fun now.

What?

Yes, I know it's awesome.

But that's the way it is.
I can't change that either.

Yeah, don't worry, huh?

You'll find someone
to uncork you. Here.

You know Julian...

I think you are and
always will be an asshole.

Asshole.

Hey. Everything went
really well, Dr. Dings... bang.

Hey, we have some cash.

And we have some expensive watches.

Yes. And a dead therapist.

Mmm. Yes.

That way now.
I'm telling you, that's a long way. Hop!

It can't be that difficult.

Why are you rowing wrong?

Did she move?

Nope.

New York, Rio, Tokyo.