È pericoloso sporgersi (1993) - full transcript
It is late in the Ceausescu era in Romania, and Cristina is having a difficult time with her boyfriend. He wants her to have sex with him before he goes off to do his obligatory stint in the army. She wants him to marry her first. She also gets involved with a slightly rebellious actor, a would-be ladies' man. He has some vague plans to defect - could those be the reason he is receiving mysterious phone calls? Or are they the work of his anonymous admirer?
MAKE-UP
SOUND
EDITING
COSTUMES
SET DESIGN
PRODUCTION MANAGER
MUSIC
DIRECTOR OF PHOTOGRAPHY
PRODUCTION EXECUTIVE
WRITTEN AND DIRECTED BY
THE HIGH SCHOOL GIRL
Wow, what a piece of ass!
Nice pair of drumsticks!
With a hot dish like that,
you gotta deliver.
An excitation-derivation motor...
What kind of motor?
...excitation-derivation.
The intensity of the induced current
is 48.4 amp.
Find out the motor's nominal horse power
and the rheostat's resistance
so that the torque load...
Where did this rubbish come from?
I want to know who had the nerve
to bring these to school.
It's Vizante, ma'am!
- It wasn't me, ma'am!
- Sit down.
If in five seconds
the guilty party doesn't confess,
I'll call the principal and...
we’ll do an investigation you won't forget!
They're not mine, ma'am!
It's mine, ma'am.
How dare you bring
contraceptives to school?
I thought they were eye vitamins.
My grandma
brought them from Hungary.
What if I made you swallow them
in front of the whole class?
What is the demographic policy
of our Party and our State?
Our Party and our State encourage...
What do they encourage?
...reproduction!
They encourage natality, Minzatu!
Natality, not reproduction!
No one's asking you
to reproduce yourself!
One copy of you is plenty!
Well?
I didn't have time to study.
I'm preparing
my college entrance exam.
Of course! With these pills
you prepare your exams!
No...
When I think of your parents
who bleed themselves white for you!
See you next week.
The "eye vitamins" stay with me.
I hope they're expired
and you wind up with triplets!
At 200 a pack, palm them off
on your grandma instead!
Leave me alone!
How's your secret love affair?
Fine.
Made up your minds yet?
To what?
To "do it".
Drop it, will you?
It's your business, but the longer
you wait, the harder it comes.
Anyhow, I have a room for you,
- Leave her in peace, you jerk!
- What's up. Got a problem?
- No, no problem.
- The little creeps make me sick.
- You curious?
- I’m familiar with that subject!
Then there's no problem.
- Why should there be?
- I thought you had a problem.
I have no problem. Maybe you do?
No. I have no problem either.
Then we have no problem.
Perfect!
Hope it stays that way.
Theatre tickets!
Who wants theatre tickets?
Anyway, it's mandatory.
Who's the treasurer?
What company's playing, please?
You being difficult?
How should I know?
They're staying a week.
It'd be a disgrace not to go.
I'm exempt from gym.
Does it apply to theatre?
We can exempt you
from school altogether!
Come on. 10 Lei per person...
Make it snappy!
The Municipal Theatre presents...
Yes. Sure, dad.
Listen, the potatoes will burn.
Sure I should think of my future.
Sure, that's all I think about.
I can't get Radio Free Europe.
Who fiddled with the knob?
Right now,
my future is burning potatoes.
Must we talk about all this
over the phone?
Do you have a faucet open?
We're being flooded!
Tell him someone messed around
with my radio.
It's not coming from us.
Come see for yourselves.
Good evening.
Good evening.
Bunch of stoolies!
You're to call back
about your private lessons.
Tuesday's no good.
Hey, this thing is busted!
I can't get Free Europe!
You'll be gone a week?
Don't worry,
my future can wait for a week.
Look, our ceiling's damp, too.
It's coming from upstairs.
Take care.
Yes. I'll get to work.
From the audition repertory I chose
"The Actors", a poem by Marin Sorescu.
"Always at ease, these actors!"
"Sleeves rolled up.
How casually they live our lives
"I have never seen a more perfect kiss"
"than the Actor's kiss, when Act Three"
"unleashes finer feelings."
Who's that?
The artists!
The TV?
You kidding?
Look at those slouches!
Christ, they're so limp!
They sent us senior citizens!
Look at those fossils!
Christi, don't knock yourself out.
They're all clods.
- Can I buy you a brandy?
- With what? You're broke!
No. I pawned the theatre tickets off
on two suckers.
Look at that one: he's the cutest.
Staroste?
Don't you know him?
Where from, military prep?
He played in that series,
"Arms for the People".
He did all the Krauts.
How much could these guys make
in a month?
Don't look.
Quick, give him a drink!
I'm in pain!
What's wrong with him?
No time for explanations, Miss.
What, giving him water?!
What, then?
- Vodka!
- There isn't any.
Whiskey!
We only have Romanian brandy
and Fruti-ade.
- And what?
- Fruti-ade.
Send for the boss.
Trying to kill me, you viper?
Our love's gone?
You used to let me have it all
I didn't even have to ask.
Wrong girl, comrade.
If that's the way you take it...
And when your mother caught us
in the wardrobe,
toots, remember that?
Better go see a doctor!
- Don't be vulgar.
- It's a mistake!
What about us last night,
breaking the bed in glorious ecstasy,
was that a mistake, too?
Comrade. I’ve never seen you before,
so don't give me that crap.
A vodka or I'll spill the beans!
You saw that?
You'd never pull a stunt
like that on me, eh, sweetie?
Kiss those 3-orgasms-a-night goodbye!
Cut the bullshit, you bunch of morons,
or I'll call in the militia!
Remember this, tart:
this guy really cared for you!
Soldiers, it's your turn:
the lady's all free.
Come on, boys...
Snap it up.
Want to see the game on TV or not?
No shit?
Why would I kid you?
She told me so this morning:
she’s nuts about you.
Christina?
Everybody knows it.
She's been pining for you for months.
Make the first step, pisshead.
Break the ice. She's shy!
How should I...
You're clearly not at home
with chicks.
You take her hand...
Not like that! Gently.
And rub her palm
with your middle finger.
Not too hard, or it'll bleed!
That's how you ask her
to go out with you.
Then, she'll answer with her thumb.
Like this.
And then, you ask her over tonight
to listen to your records.
Absolutely!
I have none!
Who cares? Girls understand.
Besides. I heard she's going out
with a soldier.
See what you've reduced her to!
What an asshole!
Hurry up. she's alone.
Be a man, will you?
Remember!
Your middle finger in her palm!
Want me to read your palm?
Know how?
Of course!
I should go wash my hands.
Don't bother.
The lines show up better that way.
I can see the arrival of a person
who will change your life.
Really? Where?
You will soon have
an important encounter
with a person who is, you know...
very close to you.
Want to come over tonight
listen to my records?
Sorry, tonight I have private lessons.
Train 651! Already 7 p.m.
I'm late for my lesson.
Smoking again, you dopes?
Don't tell I took off.
Sure, if you have a lesson...
Say!
It's them you take private lessons with?
Hi!
I ran away, went AWOL.
Can you imagine?
- I'm a deserter.
- You crazy?
I barely avoided a patrol.
- I don't believe you.
- I did!
I have to get back by 8:30 p.m.
for roll call.
By 8:30 I have to be back!
You really went AWOL?
Can you believe it?
A week before discharge!
I also have a surprise for you.
I'll tell you later.
You stink the booze.
Down to work!
I have to prepare all these for Thursday,
otherwise I'm in trouble.
Just a second...
You have to be back by 8:30,
don't you?
Know I'm getting out by next week?
You've already told me. Get to work!
Can you believe
next week I'm out of the army?
And I have a surprise, too...
- What?
- I'll tell you later.
What? Tell me now!
"Integral from 3 to infinity..."
Tell me
or I'll bust your head open!
Stop! That's enough!
- A little more...
- Why, what do you want?
I want our friendship
to turn to deeper feelings...
We're trying to get smart, aren't we?
Living months on end in the barracks,
getting barked at day in, day out...!
That justifies jumping on people
and tearing off their clothes?
Every night in the dorms,
tolerating those swine and their smut...
Thinking of someone
who doesn't give a damn!
I think after 3 weeks
a guy can start undoing some buttons!
- Says who?
- But if there's no trust...
That's not the point.
I told you,
for me it's very important:
doing it before marriage
is out of the question.
Engagement, at least...
That can be arranged.
Next week we'll have
the farewell night in the barracks.
The boys will arrange our engagement.
Was that the surprise?
What do you say?
Whose idea was this?
Theirs. They want to meet you.
What do you mean, meet me?
I told them we were together and...
What do you mean, you told them?
Why, wasn't I supposed to?
Why talk about it?
What am I? A military secret
passed around from lip to lip?
It was a joke.
Exactly!
I wanted to see your reaction.
I sure had you going!
- It wasn't a joke.
- You got it wrong.
No, you got it wrong!
- What?
- That we were together!
I bet you were all eager
to have me listen to your records!
It's the dawn of a new world, my dear.
I can already feel its morning breeze.
You young folks must live a different life.
No shit!
Yes, grandma.
What's Stephan doing?
I have a bad feeling...
Stephan. I was worried!
Turn on the radio!
Haven't you heard the news?
Please stay tuned...
Soon, we will read an announcement
of the utmost importance for the country.
Now I can tell you:
I'm a member of the Communist Party.
Try to understand that my profession
is people's lives.
Yours, his, hers...
And what are you asking me?!
Endanger a patient's life?!
For what?!
A job in the capital?!
What court would acquit me
of such a crime?!
Are you serious?
You really think your measly existence
can influence life and death?
You are wrong, Maria.
The existence of each one of us
influences other lives and deaths!
You're under arrest, both of you!
It was you, wasn't it?
History avenges traitors!
- To the police headquarters!
- One moment!
- God, it's freezing!
- 3 hours in an ice-box!
Had to wait for 30 minutes
in the cold!
Yes, it's tough.
Tomorrow it will be over.
I'm a civilian again.
Congratulations!
You thought it over?
Thought what over?
I, for one, have thought it over.
And you reached any conclusions?
Don't want to see me anymore?
I have a busy week.
I'm behind with my homework.
I can't stay, the Lieutenant's here.
I'll wait for you
at the wagon anyway, around 7.
Anghel!
Back to your seat!
Charity, boyar. God repays a hundredfold
souls who have pity on the poor.
Did I hear well?
A hundred for one?
That exceeds any usury!
Boyar, give what you can spare.
Such signs...
Such pious signs of the cross,
such crucified face.
Obeisance of such grandeur...
The mystery is solved at last!
Speaking to me?
Delighted.
My friends call me Dino.
Like in "The Flintstones"?
And you, besides signing "admirer" notes,
have you got a name?
What notes?
Right, one-zero for you! Well?
Christina Bachela-Burlacu.
You go for bachelors, Christina?
Sort of.
More than married men, anyway.
Two-zero for you.
Should we have coffee together?
Never coffee.
True. Here it's Fruti-ade or nothing!
That makes two to one!
May I have an autograph?
I saw you in a movie.
Congratulations!
Thank you.
Wait for two seconds while
I go remove my make-up, will you?
"We swore, our hands
firmly grasping the flag..."
"Always at ease, these actors!"
"Sleeves rolled up.
how casually they live our lives!
"I have never seen a more perfect kiss
than the Actor's kiss."
"when Act Three unleashes finer feelings."
"Whereas we, stuck with our one life..."
One life!
Not several. Not dozens of roles.
"Even that life.
we're not living it right."
"Inarticulate as we are,
tiresome and ugly..."
Disgust: "Tiresome, ugly"
"...not knowing what the hell
to do with our hands."
That was lousy.
Then how was it?
It was fresh.
It was lousy. What time is it?
- It's early.
- That means?
Have an appointment?
What's the time?
- Eleven o'clock.
- Show me.
Taste that wine, it’s from my aunt's.
Shouldn't miss it.
Show me your watch.
What a mule! It's eleven-thirty.
Let me see!
I won't let you play with my watch!
Ten past midnight.
Believe me. Why should I lie?
I believe you.
It's late. I must go home.
Wait a second! What's the rush?
At least finish your glass!
Let's toast: good luck on your audition!
Okay.
But tell me, why'd you pick
this line of work?
It was lousy. I knew it.
On the contrary.
If it had been, I'd encourage you.
That's how I deal with competition.
I want to become an actress,
so I can live inside different characters.
Do you have the ostrich's stomach?
Beg your pardon?
Can you swallow anything?
Dry bread, nights on the train,
lousy roles in plays that make you throw up,
freezing small-town theatres, all that?
Yes. Anything to be there on stage.
For my people to say:
"She's from our town!"
I can't. I used to.
But I've had enough.
It's useless. In this country,
no one gives a shit about talent!
It all comes down to having fun,
drinking, and laying pretty girls.
That's what I do.
I go on stage only to get my pay.
It's a rotten job,
believe me!
You think "outside" it's the same?
How do you know?
Have you travelled there?
No, but a buddy of mine defected.
Why not follow him?
He became a taxi driver.
So you don't want to leave?
Maybe I do.
You want to leave?
None of your business.
Okay, so he's a taxi driver.
Everyone knows
it's hard at the beginning.
You have to believe in yourself
as an actor.
"...Not knowing what the hell to do
with our hands."
No one makes it right off.
Why are you resigning?
Why do you give up so easily?
You have to insist!
I'll insist!
You have to fight!
I will fight!
You can't let time slip by like that!
If I were in your shoes...
You're right.
I won't waste any more... time.
I'll learn the language.
I can be very ambitious.
Wait, let me tell you!
I'll make it out there, understand?
Here, they screwed me over.
But I'll make them...
You listening?
I'll make them green with envy!
Listen!
They'll say, "That guy who makes
half a million dollars a year"
"was from here, from Romania"
I will...
Leaving me,
after all that's gone on between us?
Don't tug on my jacket!
The buttons will pop!
Hands off my suitcase.
If you really don't want me anymore,
I'll set you free.
Just say, “Nicoletta.
I don't want you anymore!”
Leaving?
I must. In the morning I have school.
School?
Shit, a school girl!
Yes. I'm off.
Can you lend me some cash
so I can take a taxi home?
In my pants.
I'm sorry, I mean...
about last night.
Don't apologize.
It was a lack of concentration.
Mental blockage, see?
Couldn't get my mind off that business,
about having failed...
I mean as an actor.
Put it back, please.
Who's this?
There's even a dedication:
"Watch your step. Carmen."
I didn't know you were married!
It's my mother, in her prime.
Wise guy!
Must be her, trying to reach you.
Who's there?
Hello? Who’s speaking?
Ciao. I'm off.
Goodnight, pussycat.
Erotic feeling in Cosbuc's poetry...
I’m listening, Christina.
Cosbuc is a solar poet...
In his world, love is simple...
happy...
in a nakedness...
Sorry.
They left at noon.
You should've come earlier.
And they left... for good?
Took the bus!
They were all excited.
Said they're off to play in Bucharest.
Say, the maid who did up the room
found a broken glass.
Leave some 50 lei,
otherwise I'll get yelled at.
Bucharest. One-way.
THE ACTOR
One, two, three, four.
Some data on the urban area
that will host us...
Got something to eat?
A picturesque town close to
the Danube and to the border with...
Aus-tra-li-a!
Yugoslavia, assholes!
And don't let that give you any ideas!
80000 inhabitants,
3 main restaurants.
one of which open till 10 p.m.
Stop it!
- Crackers?
- That's life!
A lovely park, a library...
A textile mill with female staff...
A co-ed high school!
Something wrong with your private life?
No more homemade pies and cakes?
Did you break up?
You on the moon? Yesterday
was our 3rd appearance in court.
No joke! Getting divorced?
And nothing at all
for us, women?
…and two regiments with an army club
where they give balls for the officers.
- Mr. Dino, you owe me 300 lei.
- Since when? I don't remember.
Back in 1929, during the Depression...
Lucia, did you hear the latest news?
This fella's getting divorced!
Really? Congratulations!
Look at the gorgeous dame he's dropping!
All men carry a picture when they divorce
for other chicks to see how they regret it.
- And all this started from…
- Love.
No, I mean for the divorce!
She's crazy. Green with jealousy.
She sees me as a kind of Casanova.
Outrageous!
Look. I'm watched over enough as it is.
Censorship in the theatre, militia
in the street. I don't need KGB in bed!
She spies on my every move.
Sometimes I watch the sunset
through my window...
To her I'm eyeing some girl
in the opposite building.
The dentist you told me about,
chasing you around, drill in hand?
No, that one lived elsewhere.
Anyway, I've had it.
At home she's Othello. I'm Desdemona.
And Iago? Who does Iago?
It's hopeless, that thing is stuck.
You lend me this tart for tonight?
Help yourself, I know her inside out.
- How about a vodka?
- It's a must! Where?
Straight ahead!
Where're you taking me, you beast?
You see what I see?
Fresh meat!
I like it here, there's tourist material!
Modest, but tidy!
Poor little things,
they're drinking us in.
I call this thirst for culture!
How about our old number?
Quick, give him a drink!
Come on, let's get started!
Wait till they finish this game.
Double fours.
- The audience?
- Lukewarm.
Okay, let's get started!
I've nothing to hit the gong with.
- A ball-pen will do?
- Don't bother, hit it with your head!
Very funny!
Come on, use your head,
that's what it's meant for!
You all give me the creeps.
Watch it!
- Mr. Staroste?
- Himself.
There's a note for you at the stage door.
For me?
- Bad news?
- I'd say quite the contrary.
I come pick it up at intermission.
Tracts must be handed out
all around the city's key points.
Contact the Party cells in prisons!
Six and four.
I block, you're out!
I spoke to comrade Stere:
time is running out!
Two... and two. Your turn.
Comrades, I brought the manifesto.
I worked on it all night long.
Unroll it, let's see.
Yes, it's exactly what we hoped for.
The comrades will be satisfied.
Comrade Stephan!
Did you hear?
The police raided our place.
They confiscated everything.
5 comrades were arrested.
I know. If it's of any comfort to you,
we nabbed the traitors.
Where are those dirty rats?
In Securitate.
We'll deal with them in due time.
- You gave me a jolt.
- Why?
See, I'm not against gags on stage,
but there are limits.
Funny thing the officials didn't stop
the performance, but there are limits.
The poster stunt bug you?
Who gives a shit about the poster?
- What you said on stage?
- When?
- After "Where are those dirty rats?"
- "In security."
Didn't say "in security".
Said "in Securitate"!
Not the same thing.
'Where are those dirty rats?
In Securitate."
Relax, nobody picked it up.
- Congratulations!
- What for?
The one with the Securitate.
Excellent!
"I'm 18, and I want you more
than anything in the world."
"We never met,
but I follow you like a shadow."
"An admirer."
Whose handwriting is that?
Mine.
For the person didn't come in person.
She dictated it over the phone.
You don't say!
Mr. Actor...
In here, the play
comes over the speaker.
You had them nailed,
the rats from the Securitate!
Super!
So we get nothing to fuck tonight?
Dino, know what your problem is?
No, tell me.
You spend your life with your fly open!
I'm tied down hand and foot,
I hit with what's left.
As you wish. Just don't saw off
the branch under yourself.
Don't overdo it.
Meaning?
Cool down with the allusions
to the Securitate.
I didn't even realize.
Don't expose yourself.
The company veterans are stoolies.
You never know
the reports come from.
This is just kid stuff.
- Ask me where the rats are.
- Where are the rats?
- In security.
- Correct.
"It's getting harder and harder for me"
"to live without feeling
your body close to mine.
"Alas. I'm in the audience
while you're on stage."
So what? That's normal!
"An admirer."
Wonderful thoughts!
What a strange handwriting though!
Handwriting's mine.
Over the phone again?
This chick's got class:
she's dictating by phone!
Lets go, this is giving me headaches.
Double sixes, you're up the creek!
Take that, cocksucker!
Double sixes, too!
Lucky ass!
Pow! Another pair of sixes!
Jesus, double sixes!
Looks like we're hot!
No, looks like
we're being taken for a ride!
This guy won't die in his bed!
You won't give in the conspirators?
Don't worry,
we'll teach you how to talk!
Smash his teeth out!
Yeah, beat him to a pulp,
that motherfucker who loaded our dice!
You'll get nothing out of me.
Talk!
Spit it out!
Cough it up!
Stop it...
Stop it...
I said stop it!
"I would like to see us entwined..."
"naked under a fountain of champagne."
"Our encounter
is becoming inevitable. An admirer."
She's got it bad!
"Naked under a fountain of champagne..."
What could a girl
who writes such things look like?
A cunt!
That's why you don't make it in life.
No imagination!
What if she was a real fox?
Sweet dreams, Dino.
I guess we don't get laid tonight either...
Yes, grandma.
Stephan, I was worried.
Turn on the radio!
Haven't you heard the news?
"Please stay tuned..."
This is Radio Free Europe.
Good morning, dear listeners.
Now I can tell you:
I'm a member of the Communist Party.
If that's the way some of us
understand theatre, we'll take measures!
This is no longer funny!
This is called sabotage!
Tomorrow it'll make waves
all the way up.
Why look at me? I told you:
Tonight, I'm clean.
Don't pull my leg! You're the only one
here who plays pranks on stage!
And who loaded our dice?
I'd like to know!
Fuck your dice, we're talking
serious business here.
Just curious: how dare anyone
rummage through my tapes?
You see, comrade Staroste,
I advise you to confess
and spare us a collective blame.
Listen, old witch,
don't give me that militia crap!
How dare you talk like this to my wife?
If I slug you, they'll collect
your teeth from the balcony!
Hold me, boys!
Hold me or I'll kill him!
Calm down!
That's not the way to settle this.
It wouldn't be worth it.
Can I dismantle?
Yes. Everybody is going to bed!
The main thing is
to go on with our work.
We'll take up this discussion
after the tour.
- You think it over.
- Okay, dismantle!
You'd love to pass me the bill
for this!
But what about evidence?
Don't worry, it'll blow over.
Here. The weather report...
With the doorkeeper's compliments.
You can keep it.
You nuts? Know what she says?
"At the right time and place.
I'll come out in the open."
"Meanwhile, I'm dreaming
of sweet swoons in your arms..."
The circle is tightening!
God, it's freezing!
Three hours in an ice-box.
We won't survive!
The audience is in shirt-sleeves!
The cold comes from behind the stage,
the auditorium's heated.
Wait till the curtain rises,
they'll rush to their coats.
- Shall we play?
- Play, my ass! With what?
What do you mean, not play?
Mind your beeswax,
no one asked you. Got any dice?
Hit the gong!
Charity, boyar, God repays a hundredfold
souls who have pity on the poor.
The mystery is solved at last.
Speaking to me?
Delighted.
My friends call me Dino.
Like in "The Flintstones"?
And you. besides signing "Admirer"
notes, have you got a name?
What notes?
Company, repeat!
"Proud fatherland, place of heaven..."
Working hard, huh?
Mr. Actor, another note!
Well, everything's set.
Give it anyway.
- Was that her?
- Yes.
Her looks are better than her writing, eh?
What do they all see in you?
It's a matter of bio-currents!
I'll explain it to you sometime.
- She's waiting outside?
- Yes.
- And the last note arrives at last.
- You can have it.
- Did you read this?
- What for?
- "If you want my body..."
- Yeah?
"...be on the train platform tonight at.
Your admirer."
Then... she's not the same one!
Right. Where do some people get
all these bio-currents from?
- What should I do?
- With your physique. I'd try theatre.
Old-timer, when did the girl call?
While you were talking
to that doll around the corner.
"Moscow's eye!" You miss nothing!
Old age, son!
So there are two subjects:
one who writes notes
but hasn't shown herself yet,
and another who's waiting outside.
I hope she's still waiting.
- "A bird in the bush..."
- "A bird in hand!"
Wherever.
Here's what we'll do: I'll take
this one and see how I make out.
You go to the hotel.
Wait there until 7:30.
If I don't show up, you go
to the station in my place.
Try your best, figure it out,
you're a big boy.
If I get it right.
I can have your leftovers?
I'm offering you an honest deal:
I leave you the "admirer"...
Really?
...you don't show up in the room
until morning.
Just so?
And where will I sleep?
There's even a dedication:
"Watch your step. Carmen."
I didn't know you were married.
It's my mother in her prime.
Wise guy!
Must be her, trying to reach you.
Dumitru Staroste?
A word of advice:
cool it with that girl.
Don't try to see her again.
It's for your own good.
Who's there?
Hello? Who are you?
Hello, Bamboo? Give me Maybug.
5-3-1, answer 5-3-1, this is Bamboo,
can you hear me?
Ciao. I'm off.
Seems like there's been
some action in here!
Happy?
It's a way to put it.
You went?
And?
A chick!
How was it for you?
You know me.
When I aim, I score.
Forget me.
How about the other weirdo?
Tall, skinny, glasses...
The egghead type.
Nothing for you there.
I said you were sorry you couldn't come,
you had something to read.
Then what?
We chatted.
You sick?
What could you
and an egghead girl chat about?
Schopenhauer... reincarnation...
Indian philosophy...
What do I know?
Listen, I have something to tell you.
I think the "boys" are watching me.
Like they're out to get me.
He's nowhere to be found.
Shall we go?
This is what shortens my life:
unreliable people.
I said we were all to be on time!
Let's wait for another I5 minutes.
Maybe he shows up.
Let the jerk take the train!
His bags are still in his room.
He couldn't have vanished.
Too late. It's every man
for himself. Let's go.
And next time, and next time.
We'll make it even bigger...
Sir... Sir...
I'll show you the passage, Sir.
200 lei. I show you the passage.
THE SOLDIER
All here?
Come on. Who's starting?
Non-coms first.
OK, Rexona, show your talents!
Me next!
We'll see how Rexona lathers.
What?
Who's there?
Come closer and see for yourself.
Stand! What're you supposed
to do after lights-out?
I had no special order, Sir.
Duck!
After lights-out, the soldier
follows the sleeping program.
- What were you doing outside?
- I was just...
You know the lights-out call?
Let's hear you sing it.
Easy, you'll wake up
the whole regiment.
Duck!
Crawl!
Belt and laces.
I’m crazy about Geta.
Lieutenant..
Had a good sleep, Your Excellency?
I may just...
Explain? Explain what?
That you drive me crazy?
One minute I let you out of my sight
and it's a disaster!
Look at yourself!
Fall off the Christmas tree!
At shooting session, you break
your glasses with the rifle stock.
I show up, and you're in the slammer.
What happened?
You knocked a buddy's teeth out?
Put someone in the infirmary?
A visitor at the gate
for Private Anghel.
Dismissed.
Wonderful!
The minute you smell trouble, bingo!
Mum and Dad show up!
Go ahead, they'll blow your nose.
But I'm coming too. I want to be there
when they see you, no belt, no laces,
fresh out of the slammer.
Horatiu, go tell my boy I'm here.
It's already half an hour I sent for him.
Please Sir, give my son a pass...
Hi!
One second..
- Who's that one?
- His chick?
A doll like her for that jerk!
- It's his sister, calm down.
- No such luck!
Stay in line. Non-coms first.
I'm sick of cheating
on my private lessons.
Come have a look at Horatiu's sister!
Which one?
The legs down there?
No bullshit!
Where are your shoelaces?
They're broken.
All kinds of morons
playing jokes at night...
Really?
No laces, no belt either!
Coming from the slammer?
Who told you?
We've been naughty, haven't we?
- She's not his sister!
- Shit!
She's his chick! Help!
Has Miss Burlacu come here before
to visit my men?
Excuse me...
There!
Miss Burlacu!
The commander's daughter.
What a lovely daughter
comrade Colonel has!
Make yourself useful,
clean Horatiu's gun.
Sure, while he lolls in the slammer.
- How long did he get?
-Two days.
And his chick visits him!
What a great piece of ass for that jerk
while we bang that slut Rexona!
Cool it, it was his sister.
Change the fucking subject for once!
You've been harping on that for hours.
Speak of the devil!
The return of the Pink Panther!
Take it and clean it.
What, the lieutenant here?
That's it, stupid, call him!
Cards down, dickhead!
Who's the doll?
Somebody.
- He's asking for it.
- Thinks he's funny.
We noticed she's some body!
Joking aside,
is she an old school mate, or what?
Cool it, you bunch of shitheads!
She's his girlfriend!
Horatiu…
No joke, is she your girl
from Bucharest?
What's it to you?
It's...
I might use the address
when I get to the capital.
She's a local.
I met her while on short leave.
Just ran across her in the street?
You relied on the prestige
of the uniform?
I can't help you.
While you always crowd
into your trains like cattle
I prefer wandering around town.
My ass! You don't go home
because you're a lousy shot
and broke your glasses with your rifle.
And it'll be the same this week
since you were in the can.
No bullshit: did you hump her?
Ashamed... talking to your pals?
- Did you score or didn't you?
- Him? With his pencil, maybe!
- You obsessed? We've discussed it.
- You "discussed it"?
Then it's in the bag.
They "discussed it".
She won't before engagement.
- Getting engaged? When?
- Soon, don't worry.
- Bring her here, we'll get you engaged.
- Thanks, we'll manage.
I see! She's his piano teacher!
She's making you
exercise your fingers?
She's his nanny, brings his laundry.
He thinks we're dumb!
You really want me
to bring her here?
I would, if were you.
You don't think I can, do you?!
Sure you can, buddy.
I’m all on your side.
- But there're some of us who doubt it.
- Who doubts it?
Now who believes him?
See, there's a problem.
Here's what I suggest: the night of
our farewell party, you bring your chick.
I'll show you how to get her inside,
and we’ll get you engaged.
You kill two birds with one stone:
solve the girl's problem
and win your comrades' trust.
- He's got no balls for it.
- Want to bet?
50 lei each?
50 lei each.
Anghel! In my office!
- And you don't know who she is?
- What do you mean?
It never occurred to you
that you were dating the daughter
of comrade Col. Burlacu?
The regiment commander!
Now you're playing dumb?
Haven't I taught you
a soldier must be vigilant?
That he must be wary
of who approaches him
and report anyone suspect?
Why don’t you apply?
As a soldier,
you can't consort with just anyone.
In wartime, where would you stand
if a female double agent turned your head?
Just what the enemy's waiting for:
a weak spot!
Can you imagine the mess if
the comrade colonel finds out about this?
Yes.
I don't think you imagine.
The girl's a high school senior.
Her father wants her to go to college.
He pays her private lessons.
And what does she do?
Fools around with my soldiers!
Whose head the shit is going to hit,
in your opinion?
Mine.
Wrong!
Mine, soldier!
I'm the one
they’ll be eating for dinner!
For if, instead of weekend passes,
I'd given you toilet chores,
I'd have avoided trouble
and had cleaner barracks
So until discharge, you'd better
stop asking for passes!
Pick up your cap.
Put it on.
Insignia in front.
Say, Anghel,
you're a real danger!
I'll have to keep my wife
locked inside, from now on.
Beat it!
I bet you were all eager
to have me listen to your records!
So you're picking on our girls, huh?
Do we know each other?
I hope we don't get to!
I won't say more.
Want something from me?
- Yeah, let that girl alone, she's mine.
- What girl?
You know very well:
the one who just left.
- I see you like spying.
- No, but I know she was here.
If we let you
do your service in our town,
does that mean
you can pick on our women?
For the moment,
you're picking on me.
Watch out,
I had 3 years of junior boxing!
Get me sore
and I'll fix your make-up!
Careful, you're speaking
to a soldier in uniform!
You might get in trouble!
I warned you nicely,
from man to man.
Perhaps you want to face a patrol?
Perhaps I call my brother who
does karate? There'll be bloodshed.
Perhaps you want a fight?
- I told you nicely!
- You want a fight?
Watch out!
Fight?
If you hit, I'll bust your glasses,
you motherfucker!
Who are you to talk about my mother?
- And who are you to play smart?
- You'll see who I am.
- Why did you hit, huh? Why?
- Who, me?
You tried to hit me.
Why did you hit, huh?
Imagine I get angry...
Fuck the sonofbitches Bucharest shit!
Stop it!
Sherpeanu, talked in ranks,
you're on the list.
We don't chatter here, we implement
the newspaper-reading program.
Is she coming?
Zamphir? Talked? Written down.
Comrade Corporal, soldier
on report: I smell booze.
Bugiu? Talking out of order.
You're on the list.
I only wanted..
If you'd rather
remain in the barracks when
the others leave, fine with me.
- It's set? She's coming?
- I'll ask her again tomorrow.
Anghel? You're on the note-pad.
- Comrade Corporal...
- Silence, soldier! Sit down!
- Why write me down?
- You talked.
You talked, too.
No insolence,
or I'll write you twice!
I don't care, it's unfair.
I can't even read the paper.
you're talking all the time.
I'm writing you down, too.
You what?
"Corporal Puscasu...
talked throughout the program."
I’m crazy about Geta.
So, what's the story?
I think she's a little angry.
We're supposed to meet at the theatre.
Really?
Horatiu's meeting the chick
at the theatre.
Quiet in the ranks!
Left, right...
Start the tune!
"Proud fatherland, place of heaven..."
Company, repeat!
"Proud fatherland, place of heaven..."
Singing, march!
Shit, it's her! He wasn't lying.
Hold me tight. I'm shaking.
If they kiss. I shoot myself.
I'll wait for you
at the wagon anyway, around 7.
- How can he afford a fox like that?
- With the dough he makes on our bets.
Anghel!
Back to your seat!
He forgot his text?
He's lost. Hey, dick face,
what are you staring at?
He forgot his line.
Cue him, idiots!
He sure took his cue.
Go smash his prothesis,
she'll be impressed.
That's how one loses
both the girl and the bread.
"Dumitru Staroste."
- What's that?
- That's his name.
Dress the line!
Start the tune!
Company, repeat!
Singing, march!
"Proud fatherland, place of heaven..."
"Let us emigrate to America..."
"If you only knew
how cold it is in Moscow
This park’s real nice.
- Is this a compliment for me?
- No, I meant...
I accept it as a compliment.
The school worked a full month on it.
Really? Nice job, anyway.
I hate it. Too many settle-downs.
Settle-downs. People who were born
here, work here, make kids here,
and wait to die here.
So, what place do you like?
- The railway station.
- Me. too.
It reminds me that soon,
it's goodbye army, hello, freedom!
- I'm sick and tired of this uniform.
- So am I.
- So you’re sick of my uniform?
- You're not the only one in uniform.
If I could just leave this place,
and go see the world!
You are leaving.
For Bucharest, for your audition.
I said "see the world"!
What's your dearest wish?
I knew it!
All you can think about is vicious.
Satisfied?
- You know what I have in mind.
- You swine! Not before engagement.
- It's my decision.
- Are we getting engaged?
I was speaking in general.
Stop it! It's serious!
You want to make something
out of your life?
I don't know...
Perhaps to make a great discovery...
Something like Gauss's bell.
What's that, a buried bell?
Gauss's bell is a diagram,
a mathematical curve.
Not interesting!
I think I'd settle for your first wish.
Carmen, what a surprise!
- Didn’t Dino come?
- No, why? Was he supposed to?
- Waiting for someone?
- Me? I had a performance.
A girl gave them to me at curtain call
and I've been holding them since.
Such a romantic setting, right?
Why all this act, Carmen?
I wanted to be sure.
- Of what?
- Of being two-timed.
That's plain stupid. Sorry.
Really?
That's how I am, dumb.
not brilliant, like you.
But I'm fed up!
I'm through
with jerks, artists, conjurors.
I only wanted to see him one last time
and make him swallow
his lies one by one.
10 minutes.
the time the train stops by.
I'm leaving, see?
A guy's waiting for me
in Bucharest with the papers.
It's not about love, sugar,
it's about Canada.
So it's farewell party!
Not worth it, believe me.
At least somebody loves you here.
- Some love!
- I didn't mean him.
What are you doing?
Screw Canada! Are you crazy?
What do you need Canada for?
I'll arrange to take you with me
for 10 days to a festival in Bratislava.
Stop it! Stop!
Know how long I've waited
for you to be free?
Don't touch me!
Hands off, I said!
He's cheating on you, you know.
At this very moment.
Let me go or I'll kill you!
- I'll kill you, miserable bastard!
- Tell me I still got a chance.
- That's all!
- Stay down!
Stay fucking down!
I know you want it. Don't be afraid.
We'll love each other madly!
Naked under a fountain
of champagne!
Wait. I've something to tell you!
Open up, so I can return your shoe.
Your husband
makes political jokes on stage
and you associate
with foreign citizens.
I'll report on both of you!
Where were you?
Come have a drink with us.
We're going home!
He's completely stoned...
Hey guys. Horatio's been drinking!
Is he upset?
Because he lost his dough
That's dumb.
- No one made him bet.
- What, you sulking?
It's because his chick didn't come.
Your heart bleeding?
That's women for you.
If you don't beat the guts out of them
they never understand life.
I had one before, I caught her
with a restaurant clarinet player.
I sure made that one sing,
believe me.
Come on, don't be an asshole.
Tomorrow we are going home.
Stop it, you morons, he's asleep.
He must have had a skinful.
Wake up, your chick's here.
We'll solve your problem tonight.
Old buddy, here's the story.
Pass him the brandy.
We saw you were in the dumps,
and it's your last night, after all.
We put up with you for 18 months,
means you're one of us.
So we took the dough you lost
and invested it to help you.
You said she's here?
Before you see what we did for you.
I want to tell you something
on behalf of us all.
What I want to tell you is:
women are all alike.
- Right!
- And how!
What's important for you is
a place you'll find sooner or later.
The rest is like machine-guns:
only the serial numbers change.
What matters hitting the bull's-eye.
I wonder if you read me.
Take off his glasses.
Is that him?
Hi!
I’m Rexona.
Nervous?
You know, it's my first time, too.
Getting engaged, I mean.
The guys picked me to talk
because I flunked theology.
I engage the servant of God Rexona...
to the servant of God Horatiu.
There were some more words,
but I forgot them.
Now we will be off
to the washroom so they can...
You read me.
Can you hear anything?
- What? You argued?
- Right after engagement?
Have you got anything
in your pants or not?
You just lost another bet.
I can't, it makes no sense.
Say pal...
Do you know the saying,
"The smart ones give in first"?
Not true. Only jerks give in.
5-3-1, put me through to the city.
Mr. Staroste's room, please.
Dumitru Staroste? A word of advice:
cool it with that girl.
Don't try to see her again.
It’s for your own good.
Hello, Bamboo? Give me Maybug.
5-3-1, answer me.
5-3-1, this is Bamboo.
Can you hear me?
You are going home.
You’re back in civilian clothes.
But as long as you're
in the regimental area,
you remain soldiers
and I advise you to behave as such.
But even outside the barracks gate
in this town,
people know you as soldiers,
so you'd better behave like soldiers.
You shall take the train.
I don't want to hear about
drinking or scandals during the trip.
People must realize you're not
coming out of some low dive.
Behave as if you were still wearing
the army uniform.
Even when you get home,
remember one thing:
before you recover your ID cards,
your service record
is all the ID you have.
Means that in front of the law.
you are still soldiers
And even after having
officially passed in Reserve
and started your own personal lives,
never forget you've done
your military service.
For people will judge you.
And they must say,
"Indeed, this is a young man
who has done his stint."
"We can rely on him
to defend us against the Americans."
I'll finish by telling you this:
you were born civilians,
but you'll remain all your life
soldiers of the Romanian Army Reserve!
Congratulations!
We serve the Fatherland!
Company, attention!
Pick up suitcases.
Quarter turn, right!
To the gate, forward, march!
I'll look for her at school
so she sees me in civies,
I’ll give her one more chance.
Start the tune!
"Proud fatherland, place of heaven..."
Company, repeat!
Company, repeat!
Company!
SOUND
EDITING
COSTUMES
SET DESIGN
PRODUCTION MANAGER
MUSIC
DIRECTOR OF PHOTOGRAPHY
PRODUCTION EXECUTIVE
WRITTEN AND DIRECTED BY
THE HIGH SCHOOL GIRL
Wow, what a piece of ass!
Nice pair of drumsticks!
With a hot dish like that,
you gotta deliver.
An excitation-derivation motor...
What kind of motor?
...excitation-derivation.
The intensity of the induced current
is 48.4 amp.
Find out the motor's nominal horse power
and the rheostat's resistance
so that the torque load...
Where did this rubbish come from?
I want to know who had the nerve
to bring these to school.
It's Vizante, ma'am!
- It wasn't me, ma'am!
- Sit down.
If in five seconds
the guilty party doesn't confess,
I'll call the principal and...
we’ll do an investigation you won't forget!
They're not mine, ma'am!
It's mine, ma'am.
How dare you bring
contraceptives to school?
I thought they were eye vitamins.
My grandma
brought them from Hungary.
What if I made you swallow them
in front of the whole class?
What is the demographic policy
of our Party and our State?
Our Party and our State encourage...
What do they encourage?
...reproduction!
They encourage natality, Minzatu!
Natality, not reproduction!
No one's asking you
to reproduce yourself!
One copy of you is plenty!
Well?
I didn't have time to study.
I'm preparing
my college entrance exam.
Of course! With these pills
you prepare your exams!
No...
When I think of your parents
who bleed themselves white for you!
See you next week.
The "eye vitamins" stay with me.
I hope they're expired
and you wind up with triplets!
At 200 a pack, palm them off
on your grandma instead!
Leave me alone!
How's your secret love affair?
Fine.
Made up your minds yet?
To what?
To "do it".
Drop it, will you?
It's your business, but the longer
you wait, the harder it comes.
Anyhow, I have a room for you,
- Leave her in peace, you jerk!
- What's up. Got a problem?
- No, no problem.
- The little creeps make me sick.
- You curious?
- I’m familiar with that subject!
Then there's no problem.
- Why should there be?
- I thought you had a problem.
I have no problem. Maybe you do?
No. I have no problem either.
Then we have no problem.
Perfect!
Hope it stays that way.
Theatre tickets!
Who wants theatre tickets?
Anyway, it's mandatory.
Who's the treasurer?
What company's playing, please?
You being difficult?
How should I know?
They're staying a week.
It'd be a disgrace not to go.
I'm exempt from gym.
Does it apply to theatre?
We can exempt you
from school altogether!
Come on. 10 Lei per person...
Make it snappy!
The Municipal Theatre presents...
Yes. Sure, dad.
Listen, the potatoes will burn.
Sure I should think of my future.
Sure, that's all I think about.
I can't get Radio Free Europe.
Who fiddled with the knob?
Right now,
my future is burning potatoes.
Must we talk about all this
over the phone?
Do you have a faucet open?
We're being flooded!
Tell him someone messed around
with my radio.
It's not coming from us.
Come see for yourselves.
Good evening.
Good evening.
Bunch of stoolies!
You're to call back
about your private lessons.
Tuesday's no good.
Hey, this thing is busted!
I can't get Free Europe!
You'll be gone a week?
Don't worry,
my future can wait for a week.
Look, our ceiling's damp, too.
It's coming from upstairs.
Take care.
Yes. I'll get to work.
From the audition repertory I chose
"The Actors", a poem by Marin Sorescu.
"Always at ease, these actors!"
"Sleeves rolled up.
How casually they live our lives
"I have never seen a more perfect kiss"
"than the Actor's kiss, when Act Three"
"unleashes finer feelings."
Who's that?
The artists!
The TV?
You kidding?
Look at those slouches!
Christ, they're so limp!
They sent us senior citizens!
Look at those fossils!
Christi, don't knock yourself out.
They're all clods.
- Can I buy you a brandy?
- With what? You're broke!
No. I pawned the theatre tickets off
on two suckers.
Look at that one: he's the cutest.
Staroste?
Don't you know him?
Where from, military prep?
He played in that series,
"Arms for the People".
He did all the Krauts.
How much could these guys make
in a month?
Don't look.
Quick, give him a drink!
I'm in pain!
What's wrong with him?
No time for explanations, Miss.
What, giving him water?!
What, then?
- Vodka!
- There isn't any.
Whiskey!
We only have Romanian brandy
and Fruti-ade.
- And what?
- Fruti-ade.
Send for the boss.
Trying to kill me, you viper?
Our love's gone?
You used to let me have it all
I didn't even have to ask.
Wrong girl, comrade.
If that's the way you take it...
And when your mother caught us
in the wardrobe,
toots, remember that?
Better go see a doctor!
- Don't be vulgar.
- It's a mistake!
What about us last night,
breaking the bed in glorious ecstasy,
was that a mistake, too?
Comrade. I’ve never seen you before,
so don't give me that crap.
A vodka or I'll spill the beans!
You saw that?
You'd never pull a stunt
like that on me, eh, sweetie?
Kiss those 3-orgasms-a-night goodbye!
Cut the bullshit, you bunch of morons,
or I'll call in the militia!
Remember this, tart:
this guy really cared for you!
Soldiers, it's your turn:
the lady's all free.
Come on, boys...
Snap it up.
Want to see the game on TV or not?
No shit?
Why would I kid you?
She told me so this morning:
she’s nuts about you.
Christina?
Everybody knows it.
She's been pining for you for months.
Make the first step, pisshead.
Break the ice. She's shy!
How should I...
You're clearly not at home
with chicks.
You take her hand...
Not like that! Gently.
And rub her palm
with your middle finger.
Not too hard, or it'll bleed!
That's how you ask her
to go out with you.
Then, she'll answer with her thumb.
Like this.
And then, you ask her over tonight
to listen to your records.
Absolutely!
I have none!
Who cares? Girls understand.
Besides. I heard she's going out
with a soldier.
See what you've reduced her to!
What an asshole!
Hurry up. she's alone.
Be a man, will you?
Remember!
Your middle finger in her palm!
Want me to read your palm?
Know how?
Of course!
I should go wash my hands.
Don't bother.
The lines show up better that way.
I can see the arrival of a person
who will change your life.
Really? Where?
You will soon have
an important encounter
with a person who is, you know...
very close to you.
Want to come over tonight
listen to my records?
Sorry, tonight I have private lessons.
Train 651! Already 7 p.m.
I'm late for my lesson.
Smoking again, you dopes?
Don't tell I took off.
Sure, if you have a lesson...
Say!
It's them you take private lessons with?
Hi!
I ran away, went AWOL.
Can you imagine?
- I'm a deserter.
- You crazy?
I barely avoided a patrol.
- I don't believe you.
- I did!
I have to get back by 8:30 p.m.
for roll call.
By 8:30 I have to be back!
You really went AWOL?
Can you believe it?
A week before discharge!
I also have a surprise for you.
I'll tell you later.
You stink the booze.
Down to work!
I have to prepare all these for Thursday,
otherwise I'm in trouble.
Just a second...
You have to be back by 8:30,
don't you?
Know I'm getting out by next week?
You've already told me. Get to work!
Can you believe
next week I'm out of the army?
And I have a surprise, too...
- What?
- I'll tell you later.
What? Tell me now!
"Integral from 3 to infinity..."
Tell me
or I'll bust your head open!
Stop! That's enough!
- A little more...
- Why, what do you want?
I want our friendship
to turn to deeper feelings...
We're trying to get smart, aren't we?
Living months on end in the barracks,
getting barked at day in, day out...!
That justifies jumping on people
and tearing off their clothes?
Every night in the dorms,
tolerating those swine and their smut...
Thinking of someone
who doesn't give a damn!
I think after 3 weeks
a guy can start undoing some buttons!
- Says who?
- But if there's no trust...
That's not the point.
I told you,
for me it's very important:
doing it before marriage
is out of the question.
Engagement, at least...
That can be arranged.
Next week we'll have
the farewell night in the barracks.
The boys will arrange our engagement.
Was that the surprise?
What do you say?
Whose idea was this?
Theirs. They want to meet you.
What do you mean, meet me?
I told them we were together and...
What do you mean, you told them?
Why, wasn't I supposed to?
Why talk about it?
What am I? A military secret
passed around from lip to lip?
It was a joke.
Exactly!
I wanted to see your reaction.
I sure had you going!
- It wasn't a joke.
- You got it wrong.
No, you got it wrong!
- What?
- That we were together!
I bet you were all eager
to have me listen to your records!
It's the dawn of a new world, my dear.
I can already feel its morning breeze.
You young folks must live a different life.
No shit!
Yes, grandma.
What's Stephan doing?
I have a bad feeling...
Stephan. I was worried!
Turn on the radio!
Haven't you heard the news?
Please stay tuned...
Soon, we will read an announcement
of the utmost importance for the country.
Now I can tell you:
I'm a member of the Communist Party.
Try to understand that my profession
is people's lives.
Yours, his, hers...
And what are you asking me?!
Endanger a patient's life?!
For what?!
A job in the capital?!
What court would acquit me
of such a crime?!
Are you serious?
You really think your measly existence
can influence life and death?
You are wrong, Maria.
The existence of each one of us
influences other lives and deaths!
You're under arrest, both of you!
It was you, wasn't it?
History avenges traitors!
- To the police headquarters!
- One moment!
- God, it's freezing!
- 3 hours in an ice-box!
Had to wait for 30 minutes
in the cold!
Yes, it's tough.
Tomorrow it will be over.
I'm a civilian again.
Congratulations!
You thought it over?
Thought what over?
I, for one, have thought it over.
And you reached any conclusions?
Don't want to see me anymore?
I have a busy week.
I'm behind with my homework.
I can't stay, the Lieutenant's here.
I'll wait for you
at the wagon anyway, around 7.
Anghel!
Back to your seat!
Charity, boyar. God repays a hundredfold
souls who have pity on the poor.
Did I hear well?
A hundred for one?
That exceeds any usury!
Boyar, give what you can spare.
Such signs...
Such pious signs of the cross,
such crucified face.
Obeisance of such grandeur...
The mystery is solved at last!
Speaking to me?
Delighted.
My friends call me Dino.
Like in "The Flintstones"?
And you, besides signing "admirer" notes,
have you got a name?
What notes?
Right, one-zero for you! Well?
Christina Bachela-Burlacu.
You go for bachelors, Christina?
Sort of.
More than married men, anyway.
Two-zero for you.
Should we have coffee together?
Never coffee.
True. Here it's Fruti-ade or nothing!
That makes two to one!
May I have an autograph?
I saw you in a movie.
Congratulations!
Thank you.
Wait for two seconds while
I go remove my make-up, will you?
"We swore, our hands
firmly grasping the flag..."
"Always at ease, these actors!"
"Sleeves rolled up.
how casually they live our lives!
"I have never seen a more perfect kiss
than the Actor's kiss."
"when Act Three unleashes finer feelings."
"Whereas we, stuck with our one life..."
One life!
Not several. Not dozens of roles.
"Even that life.
we're not living it right."
"Inarticulate as we are,
tiresome and ugly..."
Disgust: "Tiresome, ugly"
"...not knowing what the hell
to do with our hands."
That was lousy.
Then how was it?
It was fresh.
It was lousy. What time is it?
- It's early.
- That means?
Have an appointment?
What's the time?
- Eleven o'clock.
- Show me.
Taste that wine, it’s from my aunt's.
Shouldn't miss it.
Show me your watch.
What a mule! It's eleven-thirty.
Let me see!
I won't let you play with my watch!
Ten past midnight.
Believe me. Why should I lie?
I believe you.
It's late. I must go home.
Wait a second! What's the rush?
At least finish your glass!
Let's toast: good luck on your audition!
Okay.
But tell me, why'd you pick
this line of work?
It was lousy. I knew it.
On the contrary.
If it had been, I'd encourage you.
That's how I deal with competition.
I want to become an actress,
so I can live inside different characters.
Do you have the ostrich's stomach?
Beg your pardon?
Can you swallow anything?
Dry bread, nights on the train,
lousy roles in plays that make you throw up,
freezing small-town theatres, all that?
Yes. Anything to be there on stage.
For my people to say:
"She's from our town!"
I can't. I used to.
But I've had enough.
It's useless. In this country,
no one gives a shit about talent!
It all comes down to having fun,
drinking, and laying pretty girls.
That's what I do.
I go on stage only to get my pay.
It's a rotten job,
believe me!
You think "outside" it's the same?
How do you know?
Have you travelled there?
No, but a buddy of mine defected.
Why not follow him?
He became a taxi driver.
So you don't want to leave?
Maybe I do.
You want to leave?
None of your business.
Okay, so he's a taxi driver.
Everyone knows
it's hard at the beginning.
You have to believe in yourself
as an actor.
"...Not knowing what the hell to do
with our hands."
No one makes it right off.
Why are you resigning?
Why do you give up so easily?
You have to insist!
I'll insist!
You have to fight!
I will fight!
You can't let time slip by like that!
If I were in your shoes...
You're right.
I won't waste any more... time.
I'll learn the language.
I can be very ambitious.
Wait, let me tell you!
I'll make it out there, understand?
Here, they screwed me over.
But I'll make them...
You listening?
I'll make them green with envy!
Listen!
They'll say, "That guy who makes
half a million dollars a year"
"was from here, from Romania"
I will...
Leaving me,
after all that's gone on between us?
Don't tug on my jacket!
The buttons will pop!
Hands off my suitcase.
If you really don't want me anymore,
I'll set you free.
Just say, “Nicoletta.
I don't want you anymore!”
Leaving?
I must. In the morning I have school.
School?
Shit, a school girl!
Yes. I'm off.
Can you lend me some cash
so I can take a taxi home?
In my pants.
I'm sorry, I mean...
about last night.
Don't apologize.
It was a lack of concentration.
Mental blockage, see?
Couldn't get my mind off that business,
about having failed...
I mean as an actor.
Put it back, please.
Who's this?
There's even a dedication:
"Watch your step. Carmen."
I didn't know you were married!
It's my mother, in her prime.
Wise guy!
Must be her, trying to reach you.
Who's there?
Hello? Who’s speaking?
Ciao. I'm off.
Goodnight, pussycat.
Erotic feeling in Cosbuc's poetry...
I’m listening, Christina.
Cosbuc is a solar poet...
In his world, love is simple...
happy...
in a nakedness...
Sorry.
They left at noon.
You should've come earlier.
And they left... for good?
Took the bus!
They were all excited.
Said they're off to play in Bucharest.
Say, the maid who did up the room
found a broken glass.
Leave some 50 lei,
otherwise I'll get yelled at.
Bucharest. One-way.
THE ACTOR
One, two, three, four.
Some data on the urban area
that will host us...
Got something to eat?
A picturesque town close to
the Danube and to the border with...
Aus-tra-li-a!
Yugoslavia, assholes!
And don't let that give you any ideas!
80000 inhabitants,
3 main restaurants.
one of which open till 10 p.m.
Stop it!
- Crackers?
- That's life!
A lovely park, a library...
A textile mill with female staff...
A co-ed high school!
Something wrong with your private life?
No more homemade pies and cakes?
Did you break up?
You on the moon? Yesterday
was our 3rd appearance in court.
No joke! Getting divorced?
And nothing at all
for us, women?
…and two regiments with an army club
where they give balls for the officers.
- Mr. Dino, you owe me 300 lei.
- Since when? I don't remember.
Back in 1929, during the Depression...
Lucia, did you hear the latest news?
This fella's getting divorced!
Really? Congratulations!
Look at the gorgeous dame he's dropping!
All men carry a picture when they divorce
for other chicks to see how they regret it.
- And all this started from…
- Love.
No, I mean for the divorce!
She's crazy. Green with jealousy.
She sees me as a kind of Casanova.
Outrageous!
Look. I'm watched over enough as it is.
Censorship in the theatre, militia
in the street. I don't need KGB in bed!
She spies on my every move.
Sometimes I watch the sunset
through my window...
To her I'm eyeing some girl
in the opposite building.
The dentist you told me about,
chasing you around, drill in hand?
No, that one lived elsewhere.
Anyway, I've had it.
At home she's Othello. I'm Desdemona.
And Iago? Who does Iago?
It's hopeless, that thing is stuck.
You lend me this tart for tonight?
Help yourself, I know her inside out.
- How about a vodka?
- It's a must! Where?
Straight ahead!
Where're you taking me, you beast?
You see what I see?
Fresh meat!
I like it here, there's tourist material!
Modest, but tidy!
Poor little things,
they're drinking us in.
I call this thirst for culture!
How about our old number?
Quick, give him a drink!
Come on, let's get started!
Wait till they finish this game.
Double fours.
- The audience?
- Lukewarm.
Okay, let's get started!
I've nothing to hit the gong with.
- A ball-pen will do?
- Don't bother, hit it with your head!
Very funny!
Come on, use your head,
that's what it's meant for!
You all give me the creeps.
Watch it!
- Mr. Staroste?
- Himself.
There's a note for you at the stage door.
For me?
- Bad news?
- I'd say quite the contrary.
I come pick it up at intermission.
Tracts must be handed out
all around the city's key points.
Contact the Party cells in prisons!
Six and four.
I block, you're out!
I spoke to comrade Stere:
time is running out!
Two... and two. Your turn.
Comrades, I brought the manifesto.
I worked on it all night long.
Unroll it, let's see.
Yes, it's exactly what we hoped for.
The comrades will be satisfied.
Comrade Stephan!
Did you hear?
The police raided our place.
They confiscated everything.
5 comrades were arrested.
I know. If it's of any comfort to you,
we nabbed the traitors.
Where are those dirty rats?
In Securitate.
We'll deal with them in due time.
- You gave me a jolt.
- Why?
See, I'm not against gags on stage,
but there are limits.
Funny thing the officials didn't stop
the performance, but there are limits.
The poster stunt bug you?
Who gives a shit about the poster?
- What you said on stage?
- When?
- After "Where are those dirty rats?"
- "In security."
Didn't say "in security".
Said "in Securitate"!
Not the same thing.
'Where are those dirty rats?
In Securitate."
Relax, nobody picked it up.
- Congratulations!
- What for?
The one with the Securitate.
Excellent!
"I'm 18, and I want you more
than anything in the world."
"We never met,
but I follow you like a shadow."
"An admirer."
Whose handwriting is that?
Mine.
For the person didn't come in person.
She dictated it over the phone.
You don't say!
Mr. Actor...
In here, the play
comes over the speaker.
You had them nailed,
the rats from the Securitate!
Super!
So we get nothing to fuck tonight?
Dino, know what your problem is?
No, tell me.
You spend your life with your fly open!
I'm tied down hand and foot,
I hit with what's left.
As you wish. Just don't saw off
the branch under yourself.
Don't overdo it.
Meaning?
Cool down with the allusions
to the Securitate.
I didn't even realize.
Don't expose yourself.
The company veterans are stoolies.
You never know
the reports come from.
This is just kid stuff.
- Ask me where the rats are.
- Where are the rats?
- In security.
- Correct.
"It's getting harder and harder for me"
"to live without feeling
your body close to mine.
"Alas. I'm in the audience
while you're on stage."
So what? That's normal!
"An admirer."
Wonderful thoughts!
What a strange handwriting though!
Handwriting's mine.
Over the phone again?
This chick's got class:
she's dictating by phone!
Lets go, this is giving me headaches.
Double sixes, you're up the creek!
Take that, cocksucker!
Double sixes, too!
Lucky ass!
Pow! Another pair of sixes!
Jesus, double sixes!
Looks like we're hot!
No, looks like
we're being taken for a ride!
This guy won't die in his bed!
You won't give in the conspirators?
Don't worry,
we'll teach you how to talk!
Smash his teeth out!
Yeah, beat him to a pulp,
that motherfucker who loaded our dice!
You'll get nothing out of me.
Talk!
Spit it out!
Cough it up!
Stop it...
Stop it...
I said stop it!
"I would like to see us entwined..."
"naked under a fountain of champagne."
"Our encounter
is becoming inevitable. An admirer."
She's got it bad!
"Naked under a fountain of champagne..."
What could a girl
who writes such things look like?
A cunt!
That's why you don't make it in life.
No imagination!
What if she was a real fox?
Sweet dreams, Dino.
I guess we don't get laid tonight either...
Yes, grandma.
Stephan, I was worried.
Turn on the radio!
Haven't you heard the news?
"Please stay tuned..."
This is Radio Free Europe.
Good morning, dear listeners.
Now I can tell you:
I'm a member of the Communist Party.
If that's the way some of us
understand theatre, we'll take measures!
This is no longer funny!
This is called sabotage!
Tomorrow it'll make waves
all the way up.
Why look at me? I told you:
Tonight, I'm clean.
Don't pull my leg! You're the only one
here who plays pranks on stage!
And who loaded our dice?
I'd like to know!
Fuck your dice, we're talking
serious business here.
Just curious: how dare anyone
rummage through my tapes?
You see, comrade Staroste,
I advise you to confess
and spare us a collective blame.
Listen, old witch,
don't give me that militia crap!
How dare you talk like this to my wife?
If I slug you, they'll collect
your teeth from the balcony!
Hold me, boys!
Hold me or I'll kill him!
Calm down!
That's not the way to settle this.
It wouldn't be worth it.
Can I dismantle?
Yes. Everybody is going to bed!
The main thing is
to go on with our work.
We'll take up this discussion
after the tour.
- You think it over.
- Okay, dismantle!
You'd love to pass me the bill
for this!
But what about evidence?
Don't worry, it'll blow over.
Here. The weather report...
With the doorkeeper's compliments.
You can keep it.
You nuts? Know what she says?
"At the right time and place.
I'll come out in the open."
"Meanwhile, I'm dreaming
of sweet swoons in your arms..."
The circle is tightening!
God, it's freezing!
Three hours in an ice-box.
We won't survive!
The audience is in shirt-sleeves!
The cold comes from behind the stage,
the auditorium's heated.
Wait till the curtain rises,
they'll rush to their coats.
- Shall we play?
- Play, my ass! With what?
What do you mean, not play?
Mind your beeswax,
no one asked you. Got any dice?
Hit the gong!
Charity, boyar, God repays a hundredfold
souls who have pity on the poor.
The mystery is solved at last.
Speaking to me?
Delighted.
My friends call me Dino.
Like in "The Flintstones"?
And you. besides signing "Admirer"
notes, have you got a name?
What notes?
Company, repeat!
"Proud fatherland, place of heaven..."
Working hard, huh?
Mr. Actor, another note!
Well, everything's set.
Give it anyway.
- Was that her?
- Yes.
Her looks are better than her writing, eh?
What do they all see in you?
It's a matter of bio-currents!
I'll explain it to you sometime.
- She's waiting outside?
- Yes.
- And the last note arrives at last.
- You can have it.
- Did you read this?
- What for?
- "If you want my body..."
- Yeah?
"...be on the train platform tonight at.
Your admirer."
Then... she's not the same one!
Right. Where do some people get
all these bio-currents from?
- What should I do?
- With your physique. I'd try theatre.
Old-timer, when did the girl call?
While you were talking
to that doll around the corner.
"Moscow's eye!" You miss nothing!
Old age, son!
So there are two subjects:
one who writes notes
but hasn't shown herself yet,
and another who's waiting outside.
I hope she's still waiting.
- "A bird in the bush..."
- "A bird in hand!"
Wherever.
Here's what we'll do: I'll take
this one and see how I make out.
You go to the hotel.
Wait there until 7:30.
If I don't show up, you go
to the station in my place.
Try your best, figure it out,
you're a big boy.
If I get it right.
I can have your leftovers?
I'm offering you an honest deal:
I leave you the "admirer"...
Really?
...you don't show up in the room
until morning.
Just so?
And where will I sleep?
There's even a dedication:
"Watch your step. Carmen."
I didn't know you were married.
It's my mother in her prime.
Wise guy!
Must be her, trying to reach you.
Dumitru Staroste?
A word of advice:
cool it with that girl.
Don't try to see her again.
It's for your own good.
Who's there?
Hello? Who are you?
Hello, Bamboo? Give me Maybug.
5-3-1, answer 5-3-1, this is Bamboo,
can you hear me?
Ciao. I'm off.
Seems like there's been
some action in here!
Happy?
It's a way to put it.
You went?
And?
A chick!
How was it for you?
You know me.
When I aim, I score.
Forget me.
How about the other weirdo?
Tall, skinny, glasses...
The egghead type.
Nothing for you there.
I said you were sorry you couldn't come,
you had something to read.
Then what?
We chatted.
You sick?
What could you
and an egghead girl chat about?
Schopenhauer... reincarnation...
Indian philosophy...
What do I know?
Listen, I have something to tell you.
I think the "boys" are watching me.
Like they're out to get me.
He's nowhere to be found.
Shall we go?
This is what shortens my life:
unreliable people.
I said we were all to be on time!
Let's wait for another I5 minutes.
Maybe he shows up.
Let the jerk take the train!
His bags are still in his room.
He couldn't have vanished.
Too late. It's every man
for himself. Let's go.
And next time, and next time.
We'll make it even bigger...
Sir... Sir...
I'll show you the passage, Sir.
200 lei. I show you the passage.
THE SOLDIER
All here?
Come on. Who's starting?
Non-coms first.
OK, Rexona, show your talents!
Me next!
We'll see how Rexona lathers.
What?
Who's there?
Come closer and see for yourself.
Stand! What're you supposed
to do after lights-out?
I had no special order, Sir.
Duck!
After lights-out, the soldier
follows the sleeping program.
- What were you doing outside?
- I was just...
You know the lights-out call?
Let's hear you sing it.
Easy, you'll wake up
the whole regiment.
Duck!
Crawl!
Belt and laces.
I’m crazy about Geta.
Lieutenant..
Had a good sleep, Your Excellency?
I may just...
Explain? Explain what?
That you drive me crazy?
One minute I let you out of my sight
and it's a disaster!
Look at yourself!
Fall off the Christmas tree!
At shooting session, you break
your glasses with the rifle stock.
I show up, and you're in the slammer.
What happened?
You knocked a buddy's teeth out?
Put someone in the infirmary?
A visitor at the gate
for Private Anghel.
Dismissed.
Wonderful!
The minute you smell trouble, bingo!
Mum and Dad show up!
Go ahead, they'll blow your nose.
But I'm coming too. I want to be there
when they see you, no belt, no laces,
fresh out of the slammer.
Horatiu, go tell my boy I'm here.
It's already half an hour I sent for him.
Please Sir, give my son a pass...
Hi!
One second..
- Who's that one?
- His chick?
A doll like her for that jerk!
- It's his sister, calm down.
- No such luck!
Stay in line. Non-coms first.
I'm sick of cheating
on my private lessons.
Come have a look at Horatiu's sister!
Which one?
The legs down there?
No bullshit!
Where are your shoelaces?
They're broken.
All kinds of morons
playing jokes at night...
Really?
No laces, no belt either!
Coming from the slammer?
Who told you?
We've been naughty, haven't we?
- She's not his sister!
- Shit!
She's his chick! Help!
Has Miss Burlacu come here before
to visit my men?
Excuse me...
There!
Miss Burlacu!
The commander's daughter.
What a lovely daughter
comrade Colonel has!
Make yourself useful,
clean Horatiu's gun.
Sure, while he lolls in the slammer.
- How long did he get?
-Two days.
And his chick visits him!
What a great piece of ass for that jerk
while we bang that slut Rexona!
Cool it, it was his sister.
Change the fucking subject for once!
You've been harping on that for hours.
Speak of the devil!
The return of the Pink Panther!
Take it and clean it.
What, the lieutenant here?
That's it, stupid, call him!
Cards down, dickhead!
Who's the doll?
Somebody.
- He's asking for it.
- Thinks he's funny.
We noticed she's some body!
Joking aside,
is she an old school mate, or what?
Cool it, you bunch of shitheads!
She's his girlfriend!
Horatiu…
No joke, is she your girl
from Bucharest?
What's it to you?
It's...
I might use the address
when I get to the capital.
She's a local.
I met her while on short leave.
Just ran across her in the street?
You relied on the prestige
of the uniform?
I can't help you.
While you always crowd
into your trains like cattle
I prefer wandering around town.
My ass! You don't go home
because you're a lousy shot
and broke your glasses with your rifle.
And it'll be the same this week
since you were in the can.
No bullshit: did you hump her?
Ashamed... talking to your pals?
- Did you score or didn't you?
- Him? With his pencil, maybe!
- You obsessed? We've discussed it.
- You "discussed it"?
Then it's in the bag.
They "discussed it".
She won't before engagement.
- Getting engaged? When?
- Soon, don't worry.
- Bring her here, we'll get you engaged.
- Thanks, we'll manage.
I see! She's his piano teacher!
She's making you
exercise your fingers?
She's his nanny, brings his laundry.
He thinks we're dumb!
You really want me
to bring her here?
I would, if were you.
You don't think I can, do you?!
Sure you can, buddy.
I’m all on your side.
- But there're some of us who doubt it.
- Who doubts it?
Now who believes him?
See, there's a problem.
Here's what I suggest: the night of
our farewell party, you bring your chick.
I'll show you how to get her inside,
and we’ll get you engaged.
You kill two birds with one stone:
solve the girl's problem
and win your comrades' trust.
- He's got no balls for it.
- Want to bet?
50 lei each?
50 lei each.
Anghel! In my office!
- And you don't know who she is?
- What do you mean?
It never occurred to you
that you were dating the daughter
of comrade Col. Burlacu?
The regiment commander!
Now you're playing dumb?
Haven't I taught you
a soldier must be vigilant?
That he must be wary
of who approaches him
and report anyone suspect?
Why don’t you apply?
As a soldier,
you can't consort with just anyone.
In wartime, where would you stand
if a female double agent turned your head?
Just what the enemy's waiting for:
a weak spot!
Can you imagine the mess if
the comrade colonel finds out about this?
Yes.
I don't think you imagine.
The girl's a high school senior.
Her father wants her to go to college.
He pays her private lessons.
And what does she do?
Fools around with my soldiers!
Whose head the shit is going to hit,
in your opinion?
Mine.
Wrong!
Mine, soldier!
I'm the one
they’ll be eating for dinner!
For if, instead of weekend passes,
I'd given you toilet chores,
I'd have avoided trouble
and had cleaner barracks
So until discharge, you'd better
stop asking for passes!
Pick up your cap.
Put it on.
Insignia in front.
Say, Anghel,
you're a real danger!
I'll have to keep my wife
locked inside, from now on.
Beat it!
I bet you were all eager
to have me listen to your records!
So you're picking on our girls, huh?
Do we know each other?
I hope we don't get to!
I won't say more.
Want something from me?
- Yeah, let that girl alone, she's mine.
- What girl?
You know very well:
the one who just left.
- I see you like spying.
- No, but I know she was here.
If we let you
do your service in our town,
does that mean
you can pick on our women?
For the moment,
you're picking on me.
Watch out,
I had 3 years of junior boxing!
Get me sore
and I'll fix your make-up!
Careful, you're speaking
to a soldier in uniform!
You might get in trouble!
I warned you nicely,
from man to man.
Perhaps you want to face a patrol?
Perhaps I call my brother who
does karate? There'll be bloodshed.
Perhaps you want a fight?
- I told you nicely!
- You want a fight?
Watch out!
Fight?
If you hit, I'll bust your glasses,
you motherfucker!
Who are you to talk about my mother?
- And who are you to play smart?
- You'll see who I am.
- Why did you hit, huh? Why?
- Who, me?
You tried to hit me.
Why did you hit, huh?
Imagine I get angry...
Fuck the sonofbitches Bucharest shit!
Stop it!
Sherpeanu, talked in ranks,
you're on the list.
We don't chatter here, we implement
the newspaper-reading program.
Is she coming?
Zamphir? Talked? Written down.
Comrade Corporal, soldier
on report: I smell booze.
Bugiu? Talking out of order.
You're on the list.
I only wanted..
If you'd rather
remain in the barracks when
the others leave, fine with me.
- It's set? She's coming?
- I'll ask her again tomorrow.
Anghel? You're on the note-pad.
- Comrade Corporal...
- Silence, soldier! Sit down!
- Why write me down?
- You talked.
You talked, too.
No insolence,
or I'll write you twice!
I don't care, it's unfair.
I can't even read the paper.
you're talking all the time.
I'm writing you down, too.
You what?
"Corporal Puscasu...
talked throughout the program."
I’m crazy about Geta.
So, what's the story?
I think she's a little angry.
We're supposed to meet at the theatre.
Really?
Horatiu's meeting the chick
at the theatre.
Quiet in the ranks!
Left, right...
Start the tune!
"Proud fatherland, place of heaven..."
Company, repeat!
"Proud fatherland, place of heaven..."
Singing, march!
Shit, it's her! He wasn't lying.
Hold me tight. I'm shaking.
If they kiss. I shoot myself.
I'll wait for you
at the wagon anyway, around 7.
- How can he afford a fox like that?
- With the dough he makes on our bets.
Anghel!
Back to your seat!
He forgot his text?
He's lost. Hey, dick face,
what are you staring at?
He forgot his line.
Cue him, idiots!
He sure took his cue.
Go smash his prothesis,
she'll be impressed.
That's how one loses
both the girl and the bread.
"Dumitru Staroste."
- What's that?
- That's his name.
Dress the line!
Start the tune!
Company, repeat!
Singing, march!
"Proud fatherland, place of heaven..."
"Let us emigrate to America..."
"If you only knew
how cold it is in Moscow
This park’s real nice.
- Is this a compliment for me?
- No, I meant...
I accept it as a compliment.
The school worked a full month on it.
Really? Nice job, anyway.
I hate it. Too many settle-downs.
Settle-downs. People who were born
here, work here, make kids here,
and wait to die here.
So, what place do you like?
- The railway station.
- Me. too.
It reminds me that soon,
it's goodbye army, hello, freedom!
- I'm sick and tired of this uniform.
- So am I.
- So you’re sick of my uniform?
- You're not the only one in uniform.
If I could just leave this place,
and go see the world!
You are leaving.
For Bucharest, for your audition.
I said "see the world"!
What's your dearest wish?
I knew it!
All you can think about is vicious.
Satisfied?
- You know what I have in mind.
- You swine! Not before engagement.
- It's my decision.
- Are we getting engaged?
I was speaking in general.
Stop it! It's serious!
You want to make something
out of your life?
I don't know...
Perhaps to make a great discovery...
Something like Gauss's bell.
What's that, a buried bell?
Gauss's bell is a diagram,
a mathematical curve.
Not interesting!
I think I'd settle for your first wish.
Carmen, what a surprise!
- Didn’t Dino come?
- No, why? Was he supposed to?
- Waiting for someone?
- Me? I had a performance.
A girl gave them to me at curtain call
and I've been holding them since.
Such a romantic setting, right?
Why all this act, Carmen?
I wanted to be sure.
- Of what?
- Of being two-timed.
That's plain stupid. Sorry.
Really?
That's how I am, dumb.
not brilliant, like you.
But I'm fed up!
I'm through
with jerks, artists, conjurors.
I only wanted to see him one last time
and make him swallow
his lies one by one.
10 minutes.
the time the train stops by.
I'm leaving, see?
A guy's waiting for me
in Bucharest with the papers.
It's not about love, sugar,
it's about Canada.
So it's farewell party!
Not worth it, believe me.
At least somebody loves you here.
- Some love!
- I didn't mean him.
What are you doing?
Screw Canada! Are you crazy?
What do you need Canada for?
I'll arrange to take you with me
for 10 days to a festival in Bratislava.
Stop it! Stop!
Know how long I've waited
for you to be free?
Don't touch me!
Hands off, I said!
He's cheating on you, you know.
At this very moment.
Let me go or I'll kill you!
- I'll kill you, miserable bastard!
- Tell me I still got a chance.
- That's all!
- Stay down!
Stay fucking down!
I know you want it. Don't be afraid.
We'll love each other madly!
Naked under a fountain
of champagne!
Wait. I've something to tell you!
Open up, so I can return your shoe.
Your husband
makes political jokes on stage
and you associate
with foreign citizens.
I'll report on both of you!
Where were you?
Come have a drink with us.
We're going home!
He's completely stoned...
Hey guys. Horatio's been drinking!
Is he upset?
Because he lost his dough
That's dumb.
- No one made him bet.
- What, you sulking?
It's because his chick didn't come.
Your heart bleeding?
That's women for you.
If you don't beat the guts out of them
they never understand life.
I had one before, I caught her
with a restaurant clarinet player.
I sure made that one sing,
believe me.
Come on, don't be an asshole.
Tomorrow we are going home.
Stop it, you morons, he's asleep.
He must have had a skinful.
Wake up, your chick's here.
We'll solve your problem tonight.
Old buddy, here's the story.
Pass him the brandy.
We saw you were in the dumps,
and it's your last night, after all.
We put up with you for 18 months,
means you're one of us.
So we took the dough you lost
and invested it to help you.
You said she's here?
Before you see what we did for you.
I want to tell you something
on behalf of us all.
What I want to tell you is:
women are all alike.
- Right!
- And how!
What's important for you is
a place you'll find sooner or later.
The rest is like machine-guns:
only the serial numbers change.
What matters hitting the bull's-eye.
I wonder if you read me.
Take off his glasses.
Is that him?
Hi!
I’m Rexona.
Nervous?
You know, it's my first time, too.
Getting engaged, I mean.
The guys picked me to talk
because I flunked theology.
I engage the servant of God Rexona...
to the servant of God Horatiu.
There were some more words,
but I forgot them.
Now we will be off
to the washroom so they can...
You read me.
Can you hear anything?
- What? You argued?
- Right after engagement?
Have you got anything
in your pants or not?
You just lost another bet.
I can't, it makes no sense.
Say pal...
Do you know the saying,
"The smart ones give in first"?
Not true. Only jerks give in.
5-3-1, put me through to the city.
Mr. Staroste's room, please.
Dumitru Staroste? A word of advice:
cool it with that girl.
Don't try to see her again.
It’s for your own good.
Hello, Bamboo? Give me Maybug.
5-3-1, answer me.
5-3-1, this is Bamboo.
Can you hear me?
You are going home.
You’re back in civilian clothes.
But as long as you're
in the regimental area,
you remain soldiers
and I advise you to behave as such.
But even outside the barracks gate
in this town,
people know you as soldiers,
so you'd better behave like soldiers.
You shall take the train.
I don't want to hear about
drinking or scandals during the trip.
People must realize you're not
coming out of some low dive.
Behave as if you were still wearing
the army uniform.
Even when you get home,
remember one thing:
before you recover your ID cards,
your service record
is all the ID you have.
Means that in front of the law.
you are still soldiers
And even after having
officially passed in Reserve
and started your own personal lives,
never forget you've done
your military service.
For people will judge you.
And they must say,
"Indeed, this is a young man
who has done his stint."
"We can rely on him
to defend us against the Americans."
I'll finish by telling you this:
you were born civilians,
but you'll remain all your life
soldiers of the Romanian Army Reserve!
Congratulations!
We serve the Fatherland!
Company, attention!
Pick up suitcases.
Quarter turn, right!
To the gate, forward, march!
I'll look for her at school
so she sees me in civies,
I’ll give her one more chance.
Start the tune!
"Proud fatherland, place of heaven..."
Company, repeat!
Company, repeat!
Company!