Zupa nic (2021) - full transcript

A film by Kinga Dębska

BACK THEN

Poland has not yet perished...

Now it's a quiet zone,
my ladies.

Let's go.

Stop laughing.

No cheating behind my back!

What's this?

Come on, up you go!

You like getting Ds?

Then hold them up.



Get back in position.

Fifteen seconds.

Legs up.

Ten...

Nine...

Eight...

- Come on, did you kiss him?
- No.

You're stupid.

- Maybe more than that?
- Leave me alone.

Get off my back, you silly cows!

Look at me.

What? Everybody knew.

It's not true.

He's handsome. My type.



I'd like to speak American.

What for?

Turn off this American shit.

It's all phony. Who lives like that?

They sure do!

Who?

Zenek and family.

By the way,
we're invited this Saturday.

Son of a bitch.

Mom!

Get off my half.

- Mine is smaller.
- But I'm bigger. Out!

Yuck!

Grandma, she keeps sausage
under the pillow. It stinks!

Is this true?

- No.
- I really hate her.

- Do you really need to go there?
- Yeah. It's cool.

- I'll kiss Uncle from you.
- Tell him to kiss my ass.

Where's your comb?

Holy moly...

Who's first?

- She.
- No!

You sit first.

It hurts!

Remember, don't touch anything.

We're empty-handed, as usual.

Not even a bottle.

What could I possibly get him
to be up to his league?

- Don't get drunk.
- No booze, like I promised.

Come on, girls! Quickly!

Hi!

- Looking good!
- My, have you grown!

Come on in.

Shoes are okay.

Don't take them off.

Just the coats.

- Hi, Auntie.
- A kiss!

And one for the uncle!

You scratch.

- Do I scratch, darling?
- Oh, shut up!

We have a parcel for you.

From Chicago. Uncle
didn't have your address.

Fancy that, he remembers us!

Where are the girls?

At a party. They'll be back late.

- Can we play in their room?
- Sure. But don't touch anything.

Please come along.

Nothing's changed here.

No roof leaks, no trouble.

Come on!

- Oh my, the work you put into it!
- Just a quick fix, really.

- That's a whole lot of goodies!
- It's nothing much.

Some brandy? From Bulgaria.

His show-off trick.

For you, girls, brandy
or the blue stuff?

What's that?

Liqueur. Very sweet, but the taste
is intriguing. Try it.

Just a drop for
me, I'm not drinking.

- How long since we last met?
- Long time.

Here's to us then.

- Not too bad.
- Like I said.

- Tastes of Bulgarian sun.
- Maybe some more?

Two refills then.

Cheers!

Carnations are selling well.
Plus some business trips abroad.

- I'm buying a new car.
- Japanese.

See?

Learn.

What's that?

This? You don't know shrimp?

Try. It's delicious.

And an aphrodisiac.

Hey, you don't eat shrimp tails!

Not to my taste, to be frank.

Come on, help yourselves.

- Some anchovies perhaps?
- I'm good, thank you.

- These are anchovies?
- Yep. Have some.

There's caviar. Whatever you like.

Good! He took the stick out!

Nice. I like it.

Yeah.

It's different, that's why.

But you need to wash it down.

Right. We're all thirsty.

Anchovies do that.

My, I didn't mean
straight vodka!

All right?

It's really good.

What are up to, huh?

What did I say not to do?

Marta, take this off.

I'm really
disappointed with you.

Here's your
sandwiches and towels.

They won't be back tonight,
so the room is yours.

Excuse me?

- I mean it's a pity.
- So it is.

I need something stronger.
Too much of the sweet thing.

Sure, here you go.

How's Mom?

You could relieve us,
with your space.

She's in one
bedroom with the girls.

She's no problem, though.

You know I'd take her in
any time, but she won't come.

You sold her apartment. I was
entitled to it just as well.

- She put it in my name!
- You're kidding me!

Now, cut that out!

You gave up your right.

Because I have my pride!

Please stop this fight.

These look like...

Oops!

Kasia!

- What's this? A small washbasin?
- I'm trying to figure out.

No. Wait...

No good. Mom's better at it.

Always with the tide, bro.
But what about decency?

Come on, show me your party I.D.

Want to see it? Very well.

You fucking opportunist!

- I'm proud of my party membership!
- Opportunist!

Leave me alone!

Here's my I.D.

Hey, cool it!

Fuck!

Stick with the opposition,
if you're so gutsy.

- Do I forbid you?
- You're a coward.

- Without remedy!
- Back to cold war then?

- He's a commie and you don't mind?
- Commie? Come on!

Rubber Spine, that's what Mom
calls him and she's right!

- Let's go, Tadek.
- Yeah, sure.

- And your parcel?
- I don't give a shit.

Hey!

- Zenek!
- Let's go, Tadek!

Your parcel.

She's one hell of a woman.

Leave this and let's go!

Fucking prick!

- This is ham, my children.
- Please be careful.

No smell.

It smells... foreign.

- We could open it...
- No. Not now.

Bubble gum.

Coffee. For you, Mom.

What's that?

Dollars.

Forever my favorite brother.

You take a run...
Rebound...

And land. Stick it.
Here you go.

Laughing? We'll see who'll laugh
at the end of school.

Bonus points for staying balanced.
Come on.

Stick it, I said. It's a B.

Next one!

Fine, but you rushed off too fast.
That's a B+.

Makowski! Go ahead.

I'm scared.

What's the problem? You run,
jump and land. Come on!

You're damn hopeless.

It's a D.

Get off, you're in the way.

To this side.

Let's go on.

Will you come with me?

- Dad would kill me. Well... okay.
- Does he beat you?

It's worst when he's drunk.

Mine goes to bed when that happens.

- Where does your dad work?
- The ZOMO.

- What's that?
- Something like the army.

- My dad is building Warsaw.
- As a construction worker?

No. He designs buildings.

Marta! Come back home!

- What are you doing here?
- Grandma sent me.

- You're following me!
- I'm not. Come on!

Just don't blab out.

- I'll do what I like.
- Tell Grandma I'll be late.

- I'm to bring you back.
- But you won't.

You're here, in the basement,
like some rats?

- Like you're homeless.
- I need to make purple bubbles.

How was your school?

I got a D in gymnastics.
Failed my vaulting horse test.

- And you got a D for that?
- He said I was hopeless.

What?

Tell me where he lives. I'll go and
smash all his windows.

And I'll stick the
horse up his ass.

- Dad!
- Up his ass, that's what I'll do.

- Pass me the acid.
- Wait.

- What's this?
- I found it.

Pretty,

Dad! Marta has a boyfriend.

I don't, you silly cow!

Marta will tell us if she chooses to.

I don't have a boyfriend.

Move over.

I'll use it for my cherry liqueur.

- What are you doing?
- Those bubbles.

There you go.

Wow, cool!

Holy cow!

Dishwashing liquid -
bring your own container.

- At last we have pets.
- They're beautiful.

Are you going to be here
all day long?

We're feeding them.

Our beautiful fishes.

Anyways, the end is near.

Grandma!

- You can't kill Zenek and Gucio!
- They are carp.

- No!
- Be quiet.

Grandma, no!

Don't!

Leave them alone!

Let him go! He doesn't want it.

- Ask him.
- No!

Grandma!

Quiet!

Grandma, no!

Still alive, this one.

And...

Chop! O Lord...

- It hurts him.
- Perhaps.

This is his destiny.
Such was God's plan.

Oranges hit the stores.

Don't touch, they're for Christmas.

Where have you been so long?

Grandma killed Zenek and Gucio.

- Who?
- Zenek and Gucio.

Gosh, my hair's such a mess...

- Is that dishwashing liquid?
- Yeah. I got hold of some.

It's damn slippery.

Christ, this kitchen looks like
a slaughter house!

Better clean it up before it gives
someone a heart attack.

- Have you done Kasia's homework?
- She hasn't.

- Can't she do it herself?
- It'll take her forever.

I've got something for you.

What?

- Here you go!
- I want it!

Me too!

Banana shampoo. American.
From a friend.

Can I smell it?

- Me too!
- Wait! Just a moment.

Here.

- Oh, my God...
- Smells great.

- Show me what you've got, dummy.
- Math and Polish.

You really can't write about your
favorite season?

You better do it.

Look at that!

Your father is back.

Will he make it?
Come and see your daddy.

- Where's your paycheck?
- Here you are.

Christmas Eve is in two days, you'd
better help, do some shopping

rather than getting
bombed as usual!

Coupons!

Ta-dah!

Give me the coupons!

I lost them.

What?

Great.

Only an idiot can lose coupons
right before Christmas.

I swear I'll divorce you.

Where did you booze it up?

Just a celebration with friends,
nothing much.

- Hello, Tadek.
- Hi, Mom.

- What a beautiful tree you got!
- Last one.

Pathetic.

How will we even decorate it?

She always has to
put her two cents in.

I'm sorry, darling. So very sorry.

Don't touch me, stinker.
Keep off!

- I'm sorry.
- I'll divorce you. Yes, I will.

Go away, don't breathe on me!

I'm sorry.

Oh, dear!

One sheep...

Two sheep...

- Four sheep...
- You missed three, Grandma.

- Six sheep...
- I have to pee.

Pee in your chamber pot.

- But it may be poop.
- Liar! You're going to their bed.

People travel, go places.

You can't even get
us a car coupon.

I'm not a crook and I won't be one.

Turn it off.

- You here, sweetie?
- Looking at our Christmas tree.

- Go back to bed.
- It's so small.

I think I have a fever.

Come closer.

Fit as a fiddle! Go back to bed.

- Not here, baby!
- No, honey!

- Shit!
- Yeah, push me out...

Mom... Since what age can you
get pregnant?

What a silly question!

We'll talk when you get your period.

Hung over, huh?

Guess what, honey. I feel like
scrambled eggs with bacon.

You don't say!

In that case I'll have my
breakfast in the office.

I hope you won't
marry such an idiot.

With a full basement...

Hi. Sorry to be late.

Hi, Tadek.

- It seems you overdid it last night!
- Boy oh boy...

- What's the matter?
- Don't ask.

Sweetie,
would you fix me a coffee?

- Oh, just that?
- Maybe a sandwich.

- What can I get in exchange?
- Oh, come on...

- We have old scores to settle.
- Oh, please!

The living area...

Guess what happened yesterday.

- I lost my coupons.
- Jesus Christ!

Everything: vodka, sugar, meat...

- Right before Christmas...
- Yeah. Tough luck.

Gee, it's horrible.

- How's our HR lady today?
- Sour, as usual.

Come in!

Good morning.

Wow, you look gorgeous today!

Last night, I'll be frank with you,
we had a glass too many.

That happens.

While under the influence,
I lost my coupons.

Am I to believe it?

I swear it's true. At home
all hell broke loose.

I'm cornered by women: wife,
mother-in-law and two daughters.

All of them carnivorous.

- Carnivorous?
- Yes.

We'll be building a house shortly.

How did you pull that off?

My wife's employer offered staffers
plots of land.

- Where?
- Don't know yet.

- Cool.
- Yep.

Tadek is an architect
and what of it?

What about your hospital?
Are you still a Solidarity activist?

Yeah.

I'm even the chief.

So you're a big shot!
Isn't it too risky?

You should join in.
We've got to fight.

Even if it's risky.

- Hi, Tadek.
- Hi.

Stairwell conference?

Just chatting.

- Come along.
- In a moment.

I am scared sometimes.

Come on.

See you, Mietek.

I'll sleep on it!

What do you think you're doing?

Undressed, making out with
him when I'm not here?

What are you talking about?

Half-naked, tits out, people
watching through peepholes.

- That's better than a sitcom!
- You're insane.

Perhaps.

- Mom was right warning me against you.
- You and your mommy...

Always in opposition to me.
My life is hell!

Here, the coupons.
Meat, sugar... Be my guest!

Enjoy!

- Where's my dinner?
- Up your ass.

Hear what I'm saying? My dinner!

Yeah, sure. An offended queen.

Why are you crying?

Why? Huh?

I'm sorry.

- Sorry, I flew off the handle.
- Asshole.

What did I do to deserve this?

Leave it.

- Leave my pillow.
- Let me put it down.

Thank you.

Asshole.

I hate you.

Let's say our prayer.

We fly to your patronage,
O holy Mother of God,

despise not our petitions
in our necessities,

but deliver us always
from all dangers,

O glorious and blessed Virgin.

Our Lady, our Patroness,

our Mediatrix, our Joy!

Reconcile us to your Son,
commend us to your Son...

Grandma, what's this?

- How did you get it?
- It was on Dad's book shelf.

These are...

Balloons for adults.

Ask Dad, I'm not sure.

- Balloons...
- Uh-huh.

Let me see.

What's this?

This is... well...

Lemonade powder.

For adults?

Yeah. That's what it is.

I puncture it,
but nothing comes out.

- Puncture?
- Yes.

How?

With a needle.

Did you hear what Mom
and Dad were doing?

Are we going to have
a brother like Artek?

- I'd hate that!
- Me too.

We'd have to share everything.

Actually, how are babies made?

I've read that it has
to be an intercourse.

- What's that?
- They kiss and pet.

It's obnoxious.

I'm not quite sure, though.

Unless it's interrupted.

- How interrupted?
- Interrupted.

- Want some?
- Yeah.

Just a moment.

Will you be my girlfriend?

Only if we have a church wedding.

Church? Whatever for?

Do you believe in God? I do.

We don't go to church.

- No holidays then?
- Why, yes. It's a tradition.

How many kids do you want?

One.

I want two.

How would you name a girl?
I like Dorota. And Krzys for a boy.

Can I kiss you?

Not here. Someone might see.

Why don't you take him upstairs?
You like it here, with rats?

He's just about to leave.

What's your name?

- Maciek.
- Nice.

Next time visit us at home.

Not in the basement.

Only this much bread is left?
What about the rest?

In that case...

I'll make you some
potato pancakes.

I forgot about my Polish assignment.

Don't count on me, bigmouth.
And moron.

You're a moron.

Why are you always fighting?

- Mom, she won't do my Polish!
- Why do I have to do her work?

What else are you busy doing?
Chasing boys?

We sleep on that?

- What's written here?
- You don't need to know.

Jaruzelski has to go.

- I'm going on strike.
- Don't go!

You'll get into trouble.

They'll lock you up and
kiss Mom goodbye, girls.

You've no idea what's going on.

I know for a fact there
will be another war.

- War?
- Like before?

Even worse. Nuclear.

- Mom, what's ZOMO?
- Why?

I'm curious.

- Police who beat strikers with batons.
- Police?

Today they won't get a chance.

- What is it about this time?
- Remembering killed Przemyk.

She's always been like that.
A born fighter.

Solidarity!

Down with communism!

Come here, let's clean it.

Who did it to you, Mom?

Who...

- I apologize, Mom.
- Whatever for, sweetie?

- I'm waiting!
- All right, Mom.

I know it's hurting.

And stinging.

Don't cry on my account.

Marta!

- How long are you going to despair?
- I'll never fall in love again.

- I'm sure you will. More than once.
- No.

Sweetie...

Baby...

You'll see.

Don't take it so much to heart.

How about the movies?
I'll buy you a ticket.

Hi, Marta.

Come here, Maciek.

- What's the matter?
- Come on.

- We can't go on dating.
- Why not?

ZOMO men beat my mom.

- Your dad may be one of them.
- You can't blame me.

Marta!

Marta!

- What will you have?
- This and this.

For me this and that.

Happy?

- They're cool.
- The girls will envy you.

- They don't like me.
- What makes you think so?

Mom,
how'd you know it's true love?

You miss him a lot...

You have butterflies in your stomach...

You can't eat and sleep...

Are you in love?

It's over.
But he's still on my mind.

We were lucky.

I love Marta

- My, oh my, so it's serious!
- Mom, please.

- All right, no questions.
- We stopped dating.

- Because his dad's with the ZOMO.
- What?

That's very much you. The elevator
is out of order.

- Your grades have dropped.
- I'm top of my class.

Your mind is elsewhere.
Son of a ZOMO thug, picture that!

- What about him?
- Scribbles on walls he loves her.

I hate you both!
What did I do to deserve this?

Here you go!

That's what we're up against.

Eat, or it'll get cold.

Hi, Marta.

Good afternoon.

- Let's switch. I'm sitting on the plug.
- Shut up.

Come on, hop out! This water has
to last for Grandma, Dad and myself.

- I don't want to take my bath with her.
- We're not going to waste water.

I want to be alone!

Armpits clean?

- Feet clean?
- Everything.

- Here and there?
- Yes.

Okay.

Marta!

We're open!

Excuse me.

I have the list, wait!

Come on!

Please respect the line.

- What lounge suites do you offer?
- Edyta and Bosporus.

Dad, we already have one.

This will be a surprise.

- I'll take Edyta. How much?
- 22 thousand.

Order!

22 thousand.

Please don't push.

- What's your last name?
- Makowski.

Check if it's there.

Over here.

Respect my time!

Step over, please.

- Edyta, please!
- Sold out.

No more Edytas! Good-bye.

There are two armchairs,
brown and green.

Brown for me!

Pretty set, isn't it?

- Like in that TV series.
- Mom will love it.

What a wonderful deal!

- Let's celebrate. Ice-cream?
- Yes!

- Excuse me...
- Yes?

I bought a lounge suite and need
it delivered.

- Where to?
- 20 Grenadierów.

You'll handle it inside?

I'll arrange for some extra
muscle and we'll manage.

- How about tonight?
- Fine with me.

- How much do you charge?
- We'll work it out.

Thanks a lot, bud.

See you tonight then.

No ice-cream yet?

Uncle Zenek will help.
We might use Mietek, too.

Excuse me.

- What about our order?
- I can't be everywhere!

Halina?

Tadek? Fancy that!

Long time no see.
How have you been?

Well, nothing special,
what can I say...

I hear you're with the City
Development Bureau. Way to go!

I ended up here, as you see.

You look so pretty.
Haven't changed a bit.

- How are things with you?
- I'm single. That's how.

Let's go home, Mom's waiting.

I must get back to work, too.

- What a coincidence.
- Amazing.

Dad!

- Remember the excursion?
- How could I ever forget!

- We must get together sometime.
- Amazing coincidence.

You know where to find me.

By the way,
we bought a lounge suite today.

Where? I've been hunting
for one for months.

Seriously? Amazing.

What was that?

Marta!

I'm sorry. Teenage rebellion.

Excuse me.

- Why are you staring like this?
- I'm not.

- I bumped into a friend.
- Did I say something?

Absolutely.

You don't need to tell Mom.
She might get upset.

She will, no matter what.

- Why are you like this?
- Like what?

Difficult.

Mom is a hundred times prettier.

Come on, guys, come on!

The elevator is out of order.

What?

Impossible.

How come... Shit!

We have to take it apart.

How? And how do we put it
together again?

Four floors - that's peanuts.

All right.
Let's push this aside.

Okay? Up we go!

All right, wait a sec.

I got it!

Slowly, the whole weight is on us.

I'm on the landing.

Watch the armchairs, Marta.

Push up!

Hold on...

Watch out! Careful with the back!

Another turn.

Watch the back!

- What's that?
- One of just a few up for grabs.

- Yes, he is a moron.
- We have a lounge suite, moron!

Hi, Mom.

Will you ignore me for the
rest of your life, Mom?

Over my dead body will you
put this in the apartment!

What do we do? Back down?

What an insane idea!

There's no room to squeeze it in!

We need kitchen cabinets!

Where will you put these?!

We can sell it.

People fight to
have one like this.

Sell it? With your knack for business
you'll sooner give it away!

- It was to be a nice surprise.
- Very nice, thanks!

Couldn't you stop Father?

This line freak would buy a tank
if people were lining up for it.

- That woman you met was interested.
- What woman?

Just an acquaintance.

- Who? Where did you meet her?
- In a café.

- I took Marta for ice-cream.
- I see.

And who was your date there?

No date, for God's sake. I ran
into a friend from college.

Halina?

Yeah, picture that! Halina.

An architect,

but no luck, she's alone!

Let's get divorced.

Take the lounge
suite and start over!

Come on!

You can use it.

See what you've done?

No go. It's hopeless.

Just perfect.

- It's hard to fit it in.
- Fix me some beef stew.

What? Get lost.

Look now. No go?

Everything fits in!

Edyta.

There's your reading corner.

Here you can have a chat.

Or a meal.

Extremely uncomfortable.

There's room for everything.
We can dance here, eat there.

To watch TV you just pull back
the armchairs.

All right?

- Zenek is invited as well.
- So be it.

- Mom! That was on the floor!
- Only for a short while.

- Dump it.
- No way! It's even healthier now.

- In my home you don't do this.
- Your home? I'm in your home?

- For all I've been doing for you...
- So don't! Nobody's asking you to.

Thanks a lot! How appreciative...
Do this yourself!

And Zenek into the bargain!

Hey, come here!

Coming.

- What about Zenek?
- They'll be late.

Let's sing.

Happy birthday to you...

Come with me.

Tadek!

Just a second!

- But please...
- All right, let them in.

How are you!

Hi.

Looking great, Ela!

You shouldn't have...

- Surprise.
- What's this?

- Hope you like it. From Egypt.
- It's a sphinx.

Your coats...

- Need slippers?
- We're good.

- Hello.
- Come on, vodka's getting cold!

Come on in.

Hi.

Long time no see.

Look what I got!

Hi.

- So this is the suite?
- They only had two in stock.

Gosh, my stew!

- I'm a big jelly fan.
- Jelly is good!

Here's to Ela!

Cheers!

The stew is delicious!
You made it or Mom?

I did. Tadek insisted.

- Honey, don't eat so much.
- I'll eat as much as I want.

Let her enjoy it.

May I have this dance?

Where's your son?

Sleeping with our girls.

In one bed?

Who'd object?

- You're looking great.
- Really?

- You've lost weight.
- No kidding!

Really.

Let's switch partners!

- Where is Mom?
- She's sleeping with the girls.

Keep your hands off.

I'm just lying.

Move away. I'll tell Grandma
you're pawing me.

Stop pushing.

Move over.

Move!

Grandma!
He's pulling at my pants!

- Artek, come to my bed.
- I'm fine here.

Some idea, putting a boy to bed
with girls. Come here!

I don't want to.
I'm scared of you.

You're welcome.

Come on.

- You still travel with goods?
- Sure.

- It's foxtails now.
- What?

Foxtails.
Two paws and a tail in between.

They love them in Hungary.
Wear them as scarves.

You sell them where?
At markets? Bazaars?

They approach you at the station.
And inquire in Hungarian.

How?

Before you know it, it's all gone.

Get up, son, we're leaving.

Sorry, I thought he was
sleeping with the girls.

Didn't work.
He had dirty thoughts.

Come on, let's go.

- Get up, naughty boy.
- On tiptoe. The girls are asleep.

How was your binge?

I had to sleep with that
fat holy terror in my bed.

Who'll clean up this mess?

I'm in no mood to fight, Mom.

- What are you up to now?
- We're off to the market.

- They'll show us what sells abroad.
- As if you had a knack for that.

Hot potato dumplings!

Gee, plenty of everything!

- You lead the way.
- Come on, follow me.

Umbrellas.

- Look, rabbit fur...
- Garbage.

Hi, how are you doing?

Would you have more of
what I took last week?

- Went like hot cakes in Bucarest.
- Come back tomorrow.

Hello!

- How's everything?
- Good to see you.

Foxtail queen!

Good morning.

They go in no time at all.

You could consider a coat,
but it's a heavy load.

My advice: get foxtails and lots of
earrings, they love them in Hungary.

- How much is a tail?
- Take fifty and we'll negotiate.

- Fifty?
- Come on, you can't possibly lose.

- We sold ours in 3 hours.
- So smooth to the touch.

Get your wallet out.

We'll take the earrings, too.
All of them.

Look at me, Tadek.

Maybe that white fox as well.

And the red one.

Got it counted?

You may not get a
passport for Solidarity.

I've applied and I'm waiting.

Hey!

- Wait a moment.
- Ela...

You denied my leave request!

Hi, how are you?

I already have plane tickets.

If I was free to decide...

I've saved your ass more than
once. Don't you remember?

Did you have to protest?

And show off your
black eye like remorse?

C'mon, fire me!

I'll go with the girls then.

- Will you get by without me?
- You mean we all should stay?

I joined the uprising
wearing sandals.

Hands up... Good.

Dad, it's itchy.

Yeah.

Turn around.

It's okay.

If you're good and we pass
the border,

- I'll get you a Hungarian gift.
- One for me, one for her?

Yes.

- It's too tight.
- It's okay. Be patient.

- It's itchy.
- Pants will come over it.

- It slipped down.
- Never mind.

- Bring their pants.
- All right.

Well done, have a look.

We won't be able to walk.

Right across the border
Dad will rid you of this.

Please keep an eye on him.

She's asking if you'll have
beer, water or Coke.

Beer.

And Coke for them.

Thank you.

Your first time?

To Budapest - yes.
I often fly elsewhere.

Dad!

- It's prickly and itchy.
- Yes. And I have to poop.

- We can't go right now.
- I want to take this off.

- The construction will fall apart.
- I can't hold it!

- Honey...
- Dad!

We're landing.

We're landing.

Exactly.

- Dad...
- What's this?

Shh... It's all right.

Hail Mary, full of grace...

- Button up.
- I can't hold it, please!

I'll go with her.

I'll help her out of this thing
or she'll shit her pants.

All right, be quick.
And don't lose your way!

I'm waiting here!

My daughters are
in the restroom.

I'm waiting for my kids.

Excuse me... My girls...

A fucking friendly country.

Where is he?

- What if he left us?
- He didn't.

- Or he was kidnapped?
- He wasn't.

Girls!

There, there...

You got scared, didn't you?

Come on.

Sit here.

Where were you?

I talked to those gentlemen.

You know what?

- We're going back to Warsaw.
- Why?

We have no knack for business.

What did they do to you?

Nothing. Nothing at all.

Okay.
We'll do our shopping here.

But first let's go to the restroom
to take off this fox stuff.

Come on.

A special dessert for our hero.

Near the end we hit
turbulence and Dad puked up.

On our way back he didn't.

Attaboy!

I'm glad you're back.

I feared for you.

You did? Seriously?

What happens to our stuff?

We need to go together.

It's not my cup of tea, Ela.

- Your destination?
- Hungary.

- For how long?
- Just a vacation.

- These are your bags?
- Personal belongings.

Please open this one.

Personal stuff.

Foxtails.

My, you spent a fortune!

- How reckless. Your first time?
- Yes.

You can get on the bus

and you come with me. Take
your bags. Come on!

Thank you.

Don't say anything.

Nurse, take out the dead organs.

First we need to put the patient
to sleep. 1,2,3 - outed is she.

She's out, you mean?

Grandma,
have you ever been crazy in love?

Sure. Long ago. I was barely
older than you today.

He died in the uprising.

Ela!

What's up? Why holler?

Look.

I got a coupon for a Fiat.

We'll have a car!

I need to use the bathroom.

At last!

We'll go abroad! Take the girls
to the Balaton.

- What color?
- Who cares? Whatever.

Gorgeous!

Nice set of wheels, huh?

Will hit 60 mph, if you step on it.

24 horsepower.

No knocking, bud, okay?

Aren't you lucky, Tadek?

My boss got that coupon,
but he wasn't interested.

- Why orange?
- That's all they had, but I love it.

It's the best.

Small, but quite roomy.

And those mustard seats...
I need to cover them with a blanket.

- Can I have a ride?
- Mom's in a joking mood.

- Let's celebrate tonight.
- If Ela doesn't mind.

Let me try it out.

Mom!

Stop her!

Tadek!

Mom!

Hit the brakes!

Stop the car!

There...

- It was fun, wasn't it?
- Cool!

- You can drive, Mom?
- Sure. I did it in the uprising.

- Beautiful, isn't it?
- Yep.

I love you, Dad.

I love you, too. A lot.

Go! Go on!

- I'm sick of it!
- Ela, please...

My whole life's like this!

- Screw you!
- Why yell like that?

- I'm fed up. Enough!
- Ela...

You push!

Holy shit!

Please, honey...

Stop honking, go ahead!

Push it aside.

Jesus Christ, stolen!

Stolen.

- That will crush Dad.
- I won't tell him.

But to steal wheels?! Like it's
war or worse... You tell him!

No!

This isn't fucking happening! No!!!

Dad already knows.

What on earth made me get this car?

I'll fucking get rid of it!

Can't even have a drink.
Screw the old clunker!

Tadek, come upstairs!

The wheels won't grow back.

There she goes again.
Fucking shit!

Stop worrying.
Use your head!

Where will I get new wheels?
Do I have that kind of money?

I'll ask around, maybe
someone has a set to spare.

- Fat chance.
- Try the flea market.

Sure, to find my own wheels!

Get new wheels.

Where's this from?

My emergency savings.
Wars happen.

How much did you pay?

Don't ask.

- I just hope they're not stolen.
- You bet they are.

How are you today?

Would you drop me off
at the post office?

Sure thing. Please get in.

What's this?

St. Christopher. For protection.

Come on, start it up!

I'm trying to, but it won't go.

Shit!
Don't flood your carb.

No go. It needs a push start.
You at the wheel, Mom.

All right, come on!

Good!

First gear!
Come on!

No dice.

Perhaps it's defective.

That's the way they are.
Each has a different personality.

- It's the valves.
- What?

Got some heat and went kaput.

I'll walk then.
It's safer and even faster.

Mom!

Thank you for the money.

They need some work.

Okay then, back to pushing.

All right!

- Near my car.
- Okay.

You steer.

Good.

Easy does it!

Don't scratch it!

Watch out, the windshield!

Turn it around.

This is perfect.

Mind this, it's jars.

Wait a moment...

One toy, I said!

I want to have my own!
You'll share it, end of discussion!

Give them to me.

I'll take care of them.

- All right, get in.
- I can't get through.

There's not enough room.

Girls!

Stop it or you stay!

- Dad, I'm thirsty.
- I have to pee.

No soda, no pee, I'm not
pulling over.

I'm in need, too. And they're
just kids, our own.

Can't you for once keep from
drinking and peeing?

Every hour we stop and drink.
Is this normal?

What's the matter?

- Huh?
- Where are our passports?

- You're asking me?
- You put them in my purse.

I don't know.

Check here, maybe with my docs.

- Not in your vanity bag?
- I don't know where.

- Gee... I almost got a heart attack.
- God forbid a strip search.

Have a look. You know right
away those cows are Czech.

So clean.

Pretty.

A stray bull among them.

Straighten up and smile.

Why?

Smile, okay?

Smile, I said.

- Our Father who art in Heaven...
- Shh...

- Me?
- He beckoned to you.

On Earth as it is in Heaven,
Give us this day our daily bread...

St. Christopher,
anything but a strip search.

And lead us not into temptation...

We can go on now?

Go!

Go.

Go.

Thank you!

It won't start.

I'll push it through.

Go.

Thanks!

Oh, my God, do you see them?

Oh, Jesus...

Go!

Gee...

Yummy!

Here you go.

- Marta.
- Peti.

He's taking the small
or the large one?

- Go bring the kids.
- In a moment.

Right now.
They're playing around.

It's 180 forints.

Thank you.

- Got it?
- Yes. Pick up the kids!

Keep the souvenirs.

Kasia!

Marta!

Isn't it pretty?

The souvenirs, remember!

I will. Go!

Marta!

Kasia!

Dad...

Gee, look at you... Come on,
let's go to the beach.

- You're done with the business?
- Yes, come on.

- Dad...
- What?

- I'd like to stay here.
- Come on, let's go.

Marta! Get moving!

Delicious.

- Who's that boy?
- Peti.

- Hungarian?
- Yep.

- We're going to dinner, okay?
- Okay.

We sold almost everything.

- Delicious, these peaches.
- Yeah.

What's that?

A beverage.

Order goulash or I'll go nuts.

We want crepes!

And... Beer.

- There were rabbits, so cute!
- Black.

And white. With red eyes.

How come you speak English?

- Grandma paid for our classes.
- But I don't understand anything.

Oh, my gosh!

How much will they charge us?

You only live once.

Here you go!

A hat for you.

A kiss, please.

Wow! Great! Do it again.

Well done!

Look who's here!

Let's go,
I'll show you how to swim.

- Will you teach me?
- Sure.

Let's go.

Take care, don't drown!

I'm here for you.

Good.

- I won't drown?
- No. I'm here with you.

Easy...

- I'll manage.
- You sure will.

Go ahead!

Yes!

Mom, Dad, I'm swimming!

She's swimming! All by herself!