Zum zum zum n° 2 (1969) - full transcript
Tony, who is engaged to Rosalia, falls in love with the spectacular Valeria and problems ensue.
Alitalia announces
the arrival of flight 410
from Cape Town, Nairobi, Cairo.
Gate number 6.
- Hi!
- Welcome!
Welcome back, Ferruccio!
Welcome!
Hi!
- Hi!
- Welcome back!
- Do you feel alright, Ferruccio?
- Was the operation painful?
- No, I didn't feel anything.
- Did you get a new heart?
Don't shake him.
His heart is still breaking in.
They haven't changed
all of it yet, just a valve.
- Like a TV set.
- Yes, a four inch one.
- Welcome back.
- Thanks again, Sister Teresa.
- Good morning.
- Thank you, Carletto!
May I, sister?
I am Massimo Ferri from ANSA.
Is this little Ferruccio Vincenzi
who was operated on in Cape City?
And this is the schoolmate who donated
his winnings from the singing contest
so Ferruccio could be cured?
Yes, Carletto Bertozzini.
I'd like to take some photos.
Let's put the two friends in the center.
Sister, you stay with Ferruccio's mother.
Children, gather round. I'll take it now.
I think it wants to land, but can't.
It's forbidden to land here in Fiumicino
with those tourist planes.
It's having problems.
- What happened?
- Nothing. I ran out of fuel.
And you land at
Fiumicino international airport?
Excuse me, she didn't have fuel.
Where was she supposed to land?
In Corso Vittorio Emanuele?
- Who are you?
- I am the president's son.
What's this thing about the fuel?
I didn't fill it up before taking off
from the Urbe airport.
- I am very distracted.
- And also very cute.
Well, Miss Distracted and Cute,
please follow me to my office.
Why? Is there some formality
to be taken care of?
You are very funny,
but you've committed a serious offense.
- You must pay a big fine.
- Then I'll go back in a taxi.
No, I've a car. I will accompany you.
Thanks, that's very kind of you.
- I'll wait for you out front.
- Follow me.
Are you really the president's son?
The president of the Roma team.
Where is Carletto's brother? Weren't
you supposed to go back with him?
He should return with his friends,
he'll have more fun.
- Right, Carletto?
- Sure, we'll both have more fun.
Bye!
- Nando, wake up!
- Where is your brother?
He's coming back with the children's bus.
While I was waiting for you,
a girl two meters tall came by.
Beautiful and well-proportioned!
- She wanted a ride to Rome.
- What did you say?
I am a true friend,
and didn't want to ditch you here.
- Well, I will.
- Meaning?
I met a girl,
and must accompany her to Rome.
- I need the car.
- What'll I do?
A marathon.
In these situations,
you have to follow the updraft.
Tail down a little, a slip of the wing,
and you would have arrived
at Urbe airport.
You are very competent.
I have a pilot's license.
I was in the Air Force.
If you'd done as I said,
you would've avoided the fine.
- You like to fly.
- Yes, flying is like love.
Conquering the air is like
conquering a beautiful girl.
Instead of being
a driving school instructor,
why not be a flying instructor?
I'd like to, but I don't know anyone.
My cousin is the director of the Aeroclub.
They are looking for personnel,
and the pay is very good.
- Do you often go to the Aeroclub?
- Almost every day.
You'll see me there often.
This is it.
This public housing is depressing.
- Want to come in for a drink?
- I'd love to.
- Really?
- Yes.
Not bad! Where are the goldfish?
I sent them on vacation to the Bahamas.
- Are you crazy?
- Why?
Yesterday was a sunny day
But today, the weather is ugly
Look how strange your face is!
It changes expression every day
While it's normal if the weather changes
I don't think it's the same thing
when you change
But you've got a screw loose
If you said yes to me yesterday
And today you say no,
and tomorrow you'll say yes
And then again no or yes,
you've got a screw loose
If it's cold, if it's raining or windy
The sun comes out
and everything is normal
But if you change every day
That is not natural
So if the weather changes, it's normal
I don't think it's the same thing
when you change
But you've got a screw loose
If yesterday you said yes to me
And today you say no,
and tomorrow you'll say yes
And then again no or yes,
you've got a screw loose
And today you say no
and tomorrow you'll say yes
And then again no or yes
you're missing a few screws
You've got a screw loose!
Peppino! Does this seem
like the moment to play?
We must leave. The Caputos are ready.
- I must do my lip.
- You want to put makeup on?
No! I must do my lip exercises,
for the instrument.
The Pinetina a Mare band is already there.
They told me to hurry.
Engineer Ferretti called,
the piccolo teacher.
- He's already done his lip.
- Yes, I remember.
Now help me close the suitcase.
I can't do it.
You put half the house inside.
Not at all, they were
the last indispensable things.
Here.
It won't close!
- What is it?
- My finger was caught.
- Sorry.
- It's my valve finger.
How will I play a B-flat now?
You should have been more careful.
Mom, you're not putting
my little book inside?
- "Little Lord Fauntleroy".
- This is all we needed!
You call him "little",
but he's a big lord.
- We're ready.
- Here he is! Mazzoli!
Don't start tormenting this poor creature.
His is my brother, your brother-in-law.
- He's part of the family.
- Let him talk.
"A donkey's bray doesn't reach the sky."
Scoundrel. How dare you?
- I quoted a proverb.
- You called me a donkey.
No, it's just the proverb.
No comparison was intended.
- Yes, of course.
- Actually, you are right.
He is right in saying I'm a donkey.
Only a donkey can carry the weight
of supporting his whole family
on vacation at Pinetina a Mare.
Then I was right. Why are you complaining?
Tosca, have him go away.
I'll kill him with the trombone.
You never could stand him!
- Never!
- Right. I never could stand him.
And to avoid seeing him,
because I don't want to see him…
I know he is there,
but I don't want to see him.
He'll stay in Rome,
taking care of the apartment.
In Rome? I already packed my bags.
Marcoffia's vanity case, too.
- I don't want to look. Is he there?
- Yes.
I can't support a whole family
on the modest salary
of an insurance agent,
especially that parasite farm
over there. Is he still there?
This poor animal needs sand baths.
- I can smell the stench.
- I wash her every day.
You're not grateful.
Now you call her a parasite farm?
Remember what happened on the 24th of
May?
Yes! "The army was marching
to reach the border".
He means May 24th of last year.
Thieves came and Marcoffia started
barking, waking up the household.
You didn't understand a thing.
He was the thief.
Him! And Marcoffia, the dog,
didn't recognize him
because she is stupid.
- What is this?
- It's the thing…
It's the trombone's coat.
Dad, let him come.
You said this year the house is bigger.
Yes, but listen.
I got a home together with Caputo.
We barely fit. We're as tight as sardines.
One extra sardine…
He is not a sardine.
He's a piranha.
A piranha is a bit much.
Know what a piranha is?
A very voracious fish.
In 11 minutes, it can eat an elephant.
Put an elephant in water.
Look at your watch,
and in 11 minutes the elephant is gone.
All that is left is the carcass,
the feet, and the piranha swimming off.
Peppino, I think you are exaggerating.
Let him talk!
Saying anything to him
is like washing a donkey's head.
Again?
- It's just a proverb.
- A proverb.
- I'll give you a proverb…
- What a lovely welcome!
If you don't want to take me
to Pinetina a Mare,
you don't have to throw things in my face.
Mr. Caputo, it wasn't meant for you,
but for my brother.
The eternal clash between brothers-in-law.
I have my trunk at the front door.
How many suitcases do you have?
The minimum necessary.
We have five, Filippo's two
and a few packages,
and my husband's trombone.
Do you think my 850 is a truck?
We have our suitcases, too.
How much baggage can you have
with your empty home,
on that petty salary?
- Two trunks, three suitcases, dinghy.
- A dinghy?
I'll stay in Rome, then,
if you're taking all that stuff
and there's no room for me.
We need the raft.
Why are you taking the trombone?
The trombone is mine.
Let's start taking the bags down.
Mr. Caputo, please help Peppino.
- Come on. Take that.
- This one?
This one.
- Take this one, too.
- How?
With your hands.
- There. Anything else?
- Yes, of course.
Come on. Here.
You've got another free arm.
Here. This one with your index finger.
- Under your arm.
- Here. Give it to me.
- The boy's boat!
- We can't forget the boat.
What else is there? Oh, this!
We'll put it here.
- Hold it with your jaw.
- Let's go.
Mr. Bertozzini,
if you want, my mouth is free.
No, you stutter.
You'd open your mouth
and the stuff would fall.
What did you put in these suitcases?
My gosh, you are so delicate!
You are a man. You have the build
of a man. Look at me!
I'll take the heaviest.
It's light as a feather.
- The suitcase is broken.
- It's broken?
You broke it.
You think this suitcase is a closet,
but it isn't.
Get closer.
Will you promise not to stutter anymore?
- I promise.
- Not to talk without a reason?
- Yes.
- Open your mouth.
Go on.
And don't talk. Think.
Think. Thoughts!
- Wait, the trombone!
- No!
The trombone! Come here.
Open your legs.
We'll put it between your knees.
- Are we ready to leave?
- Rosalia, thank heavens!
Sort this out. I'll get another suitcase.
- Hi, Lia.
- What is it, Tony? What happened?
The Aeroclub accepted my application
for a flight instruction course.
Aren't you glad?
Yes, but I either give up the course
or the vacation.
I waited so long
for summer to come to be with you,
and now I have the chance
to earn lots of money.
We could get married soon.
What do we care?
We have a long time ahead of us.
I'll tell the Aeroclub that if
they want me, they'll have to wait.
- You think they'll wait for you?
- I don't.
I'll buy the house in 20 years.
In 20 years?
You can't give up such an important job.
But I can't be away from you.
- I'll call.
- No. I'll stay in Rome too.
You can't give up the sea.
I must do this sacrifice.
I'll stay in Rome alone,
and build our future in this home.
But you must go. I'll think of you.
I'll call you and come to see you
every time I can.
Yes, Tony. That is what we must do.
Go down, dear. I'll join you right away.
Remember, we must be strong.
Did you tie it down properly?
Yes, I did.
- Where is the trombone?
- We'll put it on the rack.
Just a moment. Easy!
It's delicate. On the suitcase rack?
If we go under a bridge,
the trombone will fall off.
- Who will give it back to me?
- And the suitcases?
My luggage is well insured,
and if we lose the others, who cares?
They'll pay for the trombone, too.
Caputo, let's talk openly.
You often speak too carelessly
about the trombone.
Do you know what a trombone is?
You make that gesture?
Do you know who played it?
- Who played it?
- Girardengo. And be quiet!
Wasn't Girardengo a cyclist?
- That's what they say.
- Where will we put the trombone?
I've thought of everything. Pick it up.
Like a baby. Like this.
- Now keep it there.
- I'll drive holding the trombone?
Put it here. I'll make one thing clear.
I will never get in a car driven by you.
You stutter even when you drive.
Jumps and leaps…
I remember when we went to Rocca di Papa.
You gave me butterflies in my stomach.
It was so swollen.
A swollen stomach!
How will we get everything
to fit in the car?
I've got it. I'll drive, next to me
will be my wife and Carletto,
while the rest of the family and you…
- What is this called?
- The roof rack.
You'll hang on to it
and hold the trombone.
- Tony isn't coming.
- What?
Rosalia convinced me to accept
the new job at the Aeroclub.
A new job?
I never heard anything about a new job.
You have now. Tony works.
He's a flight instructor.
- It's dangerous!
- No.
- He's an instructor. He instructs.
- Yes.
Does he know how to do it? Alright.
This way, they'll be able to marry sooner.
If Tony isn't coming
then there's an extra bed.
No. You'll sleep on the terrace.
It's decided.
- But I have rheumatism!
- You'll have to keep it.
- Shall we go on this vacation?
- Let's.
- I'm leaving. Bye, Dad.
- Bye.
Remember what I said to you.
- Close the door, water, gas…
- Yes.
- And cut your hair.
- Bye, Rosalia.
- Bye.
- Goodbye.
- Let's go.
- You'll send him a telegram.
In the car!
Come on. Let's hurry, it's hot.
Come on!
This animal…
- Just a moment!
- What is it?
The trombone!
Here.
Be careful!
Start off slowly,
the clutch releases quickly.
I've had a license since 1933!
What is going on?
My gosh!
- What a disaster!
- My gosh!
- You said you'd tied them down.
- You didn't start smoothly enough.
Be quiet! Pick them up!
Look!
- Who lost their underwear?
- That is the kitchen tablecloth.
I made underpants for Peppino with it.
Sure, let's tell everyone
that these are my underpants!
They are Dad's underpants.
If you want to resign, just tell him.
And the severance pay? If he fires me,
he must give me 300,000 lira.
Let's pretend to argue. I'll throw you
the ice-cream, you duck…
- And the ice-cream hits Ignazio.
- Let's go.
- Good morning, Mr. Ignazio.
- Good morning.
You show up at this hour?
Do I pay you to eat ice-cream?
You're right, this imbecile is to blame.
- He fell asleep.
- Who did you say imbecile to?
If you make me angry, I'll bust your face.
Whose face will you bust,
you tufted idiot?
Stop arguing! Calm down.
You should have waited
for me to bend over. Take this!
Excuse me, Mr. Ignazio!
- I'm sorry!
- What are you doing?
I'm sorry, my foot! You're fired!
- Go away!
- I'm entitled to severance pay.
Yes, but get out!
- What will I do?
- Go to work.
Prepare the car.
The clients are about to arrive.
If Nando is fired, I'll leave too.
Go away. Both of you, go away!
You won't get one lira
of severance pay. Go away!
And turn on the light right now!
Bear right.
Don't go the other way.
Re-select yourselves.
My gosh!
Carry things properly.
You walk like sheep.
- Where will I put the trombone?
- In the music room.
- Where is it?
- Go! So many questions!
What are you doing?
- I am parking.
- What?
This is a red zone.
Get out of here with that animal.
Don't mistreat her.
Listen, you friend of animals.
If she bites me, both of you
will end up in the gas chamber.
Let's go, Marcoffia.
We are being politically persecuted.
- What is the prefix for Rome?
- 06.
Occupied.
Hurry up. Brief sessions, please.
Are you talking?
Yes, love.
Yes, Tony.
- Yes, dear.
- Yes. That one, that one.
Excuse me. Hello? Tony, it's me.
With this long distance…
Who will pay the phone bills?
Be brief, brief sessions!
My gosh. They opened the window.
There's a draft.
No, I went out.
Let's make one thing clear:
we need to respect shifts.
I'm there from eight to nine.
It's what I'm used to.
Then, from nine to ten, there's my wife.
From ten to 11, there's my son.
Then your daughter, then the guests…
- When is it my turn?
- You can burst.
You'll go with your animal
to a public bathroom.
Weren't you going to pee?
Darn!
Wait for me here,
I'll go prepare the plane.
- Alright.
- Hi, Granddad!
- Hi, tufty.
- Hurry.
He caught another one. Darn him!
What are you looking at, pretty lady?
Are you looking at planes?
What are you doing with these
little airplanes? They're worms!
These days, man goes to the moon.
You want to go to the moon?
- What are you saying?
- What am I saying?
I say you're a pretty lady,
and I can take you to the moon.
- Do you have a rocket?
- I'll get one. I have connections.
You are lovely. Give me a kiss!
Hold still or I'll call my boyfriend!
That one? That guy with the tuft?
You can dust coffee cups with that tuft.
Look at me.
Look at me! I am not to be thrown away.
Look into my eyes.
- What do you feel?
- I don't feel anything.
It's not possible, look at me again.
- What do you feel?
- Nothing!
You don't feel anything? Well, I do.
When I am next to a lovely girl,
I feel like another person.
I feel that I can do anything.
I feel like Julius Caesar
when he crossed the Rubicon.
I feel like Garibaldi at Calatafimi.
I feel like Napoleon.
I feel like Chichester, the solo sailor.
I feel like an astronaut
who is conquering space.
I feel… I feel…
I feel…
I feel, I feel…
I feel terrible. Who are you?
What do you want? Are you persecuting me?
Go away!
Only for you, only for you
Will I sing my song
Only for you, only for you
I want a life that's worth something
Always the same life
No, it won't ever change
I count every day
and they all seem the same
I am looking for a new woman
who can give me everything
What I never had from her
Love is dying, only you can save it
Fill the emptiness in my heart
Only for you, only for you
Would I want to change
this life that is dying
Always the same life
no, it will never change
I count every day
and they all seem the same
I am looking for a new woman
Who can give me everything
What I never had from her
Love is dying
Only you can save it
Fill the emptiness in my heart
Only for you, only for you
Do I want a life that is worth something
Only for you, only for you…
It really is marvelous!
With this plane, I could travel
the world. With you, naturally.
Wouldn't it be boring
to take such a long trip?
With the help of an auto-pilot,
I know what I'd do.
Tony!
Excuse me, I'll join you right away.
- Hi, Nando.
- Some friend you are.
- Why?
- You disappeared.
You could have made a phone call.
When the employee asked
what my profession is, I replied,
"Daddy's boy, unemployed."
Hi, pilot!
I left my Boeing outside the gate.
Would you mind parking it?
The keys are inside.
I'm sorry, but the pickup truck
already took it away.
Pilot, are you offended? You are touchy.
In life, you are either touchy or stupid.
I don't think you are touchy.
Calm down. He didn't say you were
stupid, he left you a choice.
- Let's go, Valeria.
- The two of us must talk.
If Lindbergh here says
that you must go, go ahead.
- Alright, Tony. Let's go.
- Uncle gave you permission.
- Thank you, Uncle.
- Yes…
See you!
Will you lend me the net?
What are you saying?
I asked you for the net.
Go play with the other children.
I don't understand them,
they're from Bergamo.
- Lower Bergamo?
- Dunno.
I want to go to summer camp
with my friends and Sister Teresa.
We're starting on summer camp now?
We just arrived,
and Dad spent a lot of money.
Mom, this Pinetina sand
has a lot of iron in it.
It will be good for your rheumatism.
But we have our villa in Fano.
The Tyrrhenian sand is better.
This contains iron. During the war,
they used it to make cannons.
Did you take me here
to be close to Rosalia?
How can you think something like that?
She is engaged to Bertozzini's son.
But engagements can be broken.
So that's why you did it.
If I wasn't in this state, I'd slap you.
Mr. Filippo, all dogs in the world
can swim except yours.
She's afraid of the water,
she's had a diving trauma
since my brother-in-law
threw her in the Tiber.
It's not true.
You know it was an accident.
No, I saw when he gave her a little kick.
You are a visionary.
Me?
Rosalia!
The second vision!
Rosalia, where are you going?
- I'll put on my bathing suit.
- You dissolute!
You must remain dressed.
- How will I go swimming?
- With a diving suit.
- Behave.
- How boring…
Boring to your father?
This young generation!
Look at that!
Miss Rosalia!
You're here too!
Weren't you to go to Fano?
The proverb says,
"Slow and steady goes to Fano",
"he who seeks something sublime
goes to Pinetina".
Mr. Luigino, you know I am engaged.
I know, and I also know
you're very jealous.
Speaking of jealousy,
I wrote a song for you.
- "Jealousy Tango".
- They've already written it.
Then I'll write "Rosalia Tango".
Shall I play it?
It was the year 1968
I was at the balcony
while you passed by below
I found that you were
absolutely beautiful
in contrast with Mom's opinion
I started to court you insistently
I even sung a serenade for you
My impassioned heart is tired
With you it is destined
to be disappointed
Rosalia, Rosalia, Rosalia,
I don't want bread, but love and dreams
Only you are my darling
I am almost allergic to other women
Rosalia, Rosalia, Rosalia,
I'd do any acrobatic act for you
I admire your anatomy
Rosalia, Rosalia, Rosalia…
Bring your children
to breathe air full of iodine!
One hundred lira per person!
Come on board!
Come up here.
Come up here.
Come up!
- Who is it?
- Up?
She's soiling my chair.
Take this ugly animal away.
Don't worry.
- Your throne would be ruined!
- I'll make this dog a meatball.
I'll make it with poison!
Let him speak.
The dog that barks doesn't bite.
Now I'm a dog, too! I used to be a donkey.
No, that is a proverb.
There is no comparison.
Just go away!
- Come. We're disturbing the emperor.
- Is it full of fleas?
See? This is how they hunt elephants.
Don't they shoot them
when they're on safaris?
No, this way you can capture
the elephant alive
when he is needed for…
a zoo.
An elephant walks,
and doesn't notice the danger.
The hunter moves away from the trap
without losing sight of the elephant.
Like this.
Of course, a big cage is needed
with a big shutter type door.
When the elephant falls
in the hole, he lets out a bellow.
Help! Let me out!
Darn children, darn jokes, darn vacation!
Dad, what are you doing in there?
The trap is for the elephant.
I made it for the children.
You want to play?
You dig holes in the sand!
Give me your hand and help me.
Wait. Easy…
He's bellowing.
- Did you already go for a swim?
- What do you care?
Peppino, you didn't recognize me.
I'm Tosca.
What did you do? You look like a clown.
I am going home, getting undressed,
then getting dressed.
I'll get undressed again
and close myself up in the closet.
What is it? You've become
as touchy as a monkey.
Monkey, bear, dog, cat, pig…
I am a walking zoo.
- What is the number of our cabin?
- Nine.
Darn vacation!
Darn the sea, the beach, the kids!
- Pass the ball!
- Throw the ball!
Go!
How dare you? How rude!
You entered my cabin.
I will see if something
is missing, and be quiet!
I had 1,700 liras, a coral horn,
a golden chain and my wedding band.
- Lifeguard! Lifeguard!
- Peppino, what is going on?
- What is it, Mrs. Cordognazzi?
- This rascal entered my cabin!
Please. He is my husband.
- He's a pig!
- Great. We've completed Noah's ark.
You wanted to enter
Mrs. Cordognazzi's cabin.
No. Mrs. Tognazzi entered…
- My cabin.
- Peppino, it's not our cabin.
This is cabana number 19.
No, this is number nine.
No, I'm sorry. Number one
fell on the ground, here it is.
See? This is number 19.
There's nothing yours here! Nada!
Understand, Peppino? Nada!
Call Gigliola Cinquetti then! Darn it!
Darn it to heck!
Darn it!
Tea with milk and a strawberry ice cream.
No more strawberry ice cream,
the last one is at that table.
You want chocolate, vanilla…
- No, I want strawberry.
- Paoletta, no whims.
We're out of strawberry ice cream.
Here, Paoletta. I'll give you mine.
Then just one tea with milk.
- You don't mind?
- No, he is a good boy.
He's very generous.
Maybe I'll lick it first.
He took after his uncle. I am his uncle.
- May I? Thank you.
- Come, Paoletta.
I have uncle's ice-cream.
- Is that little girl your daughter?
- No, I am the governess.
- You're not married?
- I haven't found my soul mate.
German men don't have eyes
if they never noticed you.
It's true that an old hen
makes a good broth, but…
No! It's a proverb.
There is no comparison intended.
- What does your father do?
- He has a refrigerator factory.
- My uncle makes brushes.
- My father is an insurance agent.
My uncle doesn't do anything.
We are here until the end of August.
What about you?
I'd like to go to summer camp
with my friends.
But today, I am happier to be here.
I talked to Sister Teresa on the phone.
You can go to summer camp tomorrow.
- Can't I stay a bit longer?
- Come on, Carletto!
I already talked to Sister Teresa,
she is waiting for you.
Filippo!
Fraulein, this is my sister, Tosca.
My pleasure!
Good evening, Luigino.
Miss, may I offer you something?
Mom gave me 1,000 lira.
- No, thanks. Nothing for me.
- You are alone.
A girl like you, all by herself!
- I'm not alone. I'm engaged.
- Sure.
But maybe your fiancé
is having fun with some girl now.
- Why are you so cruel?
- I'm not cruel.
I know the world. My mother taught me.
I am sure Tony is faithful.
A faithful man is yet to be born.
Only I have a different heart.
Faithful throughout the centuries!
But you refused me.
Don't say such things any longer!
Alright. Tomorrow I'm going to Rome,
I must buy things for Mom.
When I return, I'm bringing the camera,
and if you allow it,
I'll take some photos.
Well, good evening.
I greatly believe in the influence
of the stars, and you?
Yes, so do I.
- I am Gemini. And you?
- I was born on February 2nd.
Aquarius, perfect!
Gemini and Aquarius get along.
- Did you know that?
- No.
- I know everything about the stars.
- I see, you know everything.
Yes, everything.
The plane I left in Fiumicino
was rammed into by a jeep yesterday.
Weren't we talking about zodiac signs?
I changed the subject.
It's funny, don't you think?
A plane that crashes into a car.
That doesn't happen every day.
It's more common that an Aquarius
crashes into a Gemini.
My insurance will pay for the jeep.
And how should I behave with an Aquarius?
- Good night, Rosalia.
- Good night, Uncle Filippo.
Hello? Tony, is that you?
Nothing! What could have happened to me?
I wanted to hear your voice.
No, it's not jealousy.
But it's my passion…
You didn't come Sunday, either.
We haven't seen each other in ten days.
Do you still love me?
The tears I shed for you
Are tears of love for you
I love you, I love you
and will love you
I will hopelessly love you
Rosalia, did you fall asleep on the phone?
He is singing a song for me.
My gosh, a song on the phone!
A cut-price Saint Gennaro!
You sing very well, dear.
Repeat the refrain.
Why aren't you going out? It's raining?
Good night, my love.
Enough!
I'm hungry! I'm hungry!
I'm coming. Spaghetti, Nando-style!
It took you two hours to make it!
It was cooked over a slow fire.
Look at that.
Look at the spaghetti. It's alive!
It speaksfor itself.
Go ahead and taste it.
Slowly. Don't mistreat it.
- Lovely!
- Where are the posters?
- Why?
- This is glue.
How can you say that? You didn't taste it.
It's standing up straight!
I get up an hour earlier to wake you up.
I come here, make breakfast,
make lunch,
clean the house and shine shoes.
- Am I a part time maid?
- What is the second course?
- Spaghetti.
- Again?
With sauce! There is nothing else anyway.
- Do you have money?
- Yes.
- Let's go eat at the tavern.
- I knew it would end like this.
The water ruined it.
Children, get out of the water. Come on!
Let's go, kids!
Every road in this world
will lead to the sky
Even the vagabond wind
pushes up towards the sun
And everything here speaks of love
Joy is here in our heart
And everything here speaks of love
Everything speaks of you, my Lord
Every corner of the world
is scattered with goodness
Every man looks for charity
in his brother
And everything here speaks of love,
joy is here in our heart
And everything here speaks of love
Everything speaks of you, my Lord
Every trail on mountains,
each street in the city
Among joy and sorrow
is a school of kindness
And everything here speaks of love,
joy is here in our heart
And everything here speaks of love
Everything speaks of you, my Lord
Every street in life
only asks for loyalty
Who opens the heart to our Lord
In the Lord will rise again
And everything here speaks of love
Joy is here in our heart
And everything here speaks of love,
Everything speaks of you, my Lord…
Taxi!
- Follow that white car!
- It's a Lotus!
Follow it! We can't lose sight of it!
Alright.
I'll accompany Carletto this afternoon.
- No later than 6 p.m.
- Goodbye.
I must return at 5,
there's the soccer game.
Carletto, I have a nice surprise for you.
You know who I invited for lunch?
Paoletta. Are you happy?
The surprise is for you, too.
You take Paoletta, I'll take the nanny.
But tell Dad that you invited them.
Understand?
I see, I'll put out a sign
on the door saying,
"The food is good at Peppino's".
At least I'll earn something.
Carletto invited his friend Paoletta,
and the governess had to come, too.
You are so naive!
Your parasite brother did it.
- Me?
- You wanted to be a Latin lover!
- What?
- I know, I know.
He brought the German here,
involving the boy in his plan.
Peppino, what goes on in your brain?
Are you Rommel, the desert fox?
The fox! I'd like to know
what other animal I must become.
Alright. I am a Latin lover.
You should be happy,
I'll marry and leave this house,
where I continuously
have to swallow bitter pills.
These are Parmigiano pills.
Don't be a villain, we must all eat it.
You have a piranha fangs. How ugly!
You're right, Filippo, get married.
We can't stand it any more.
- Then you'll leave.
- Alright.
- But he must get my dowry.
- I'll do it between your horns.
God and the Virgin Mary have forgotten
him, why should I get him a dowry?
How will I marry with no money?
- No one will marry you.
- He's right, try to collect something.
I'll get you a dowry,
but you must marry Marcoffia.
- The dog?
- The dog.
With a veil, a wreath,
and her tail outside the veil.
I should marry a dog? Yes, alright…
- Are you kidding?
- What is it?
- So little for me?
- From six portions, I made eight.
Alright.
- He got paralyzed.
- Excuse me!
Excuse me. Something smells good!
I took the liberty of inviting
Laura Monticelli.
You know…
- She was alone.
- I'm not entitled to this either.
I'll say I am ill. Sit down and eat!
- Let's sit down.
- I'll look at you.
Sit down.
- My pleasure.
- Really lovely!
Here.
Eat and I'll watch,
check everything, look.
We are here!
- Hi, Nando.
- Hello.
- So she's Loretta?
- I am a good friend.
Did you see what a lovely girl?
My pleasure.
Tony, shall we have this party
at your home or not?
Yes, tonight.
Some friends are coming
and bringing instruments.
Yes, great dancing, a buffet, champagne!
Champagne? Beer and soda.
- Let's go eat. I'm hungry.
- Me too.
Where did you get her?
- Why?
- She's a lot.
My compliments.
You prepared a delicious meal.
Oh, please! It was improvised.
We didn't know you'd honor us like this.
- It was unexpected.
- Thank you.
You didn't eat anything.
My liver hurts.
- Who wants some cheese?
- Yes.
Thank you.
It's good.
Some bread and water.
-You like grapes?
No.
Thank goodness!
These seaside places would be
lovely without mosquitoes.
Instead of eating
in that dreary boarding house,
why don't you come to eat here every day?
What is it?
A mosquito.
Mosquitoes.
- Mosquitoes…
- What is going on?
- You're full of mosquitoes.
- All on my head?
Exactly.
Don't be upset, the difference
in height is not an obstacle
to stand between a couple.
It's what you say.
Remember what that kid
said to me yesterday?
"Will you give me a piece of her?
It's too much for you."
What do you care about
what they say? Be superior.
Loretta, you're dancing by yourself?
- You're walking the dachshund!
- Did you hear that?
- What are you doing?
- Now he'll know better!
Welcome… to my place.
"Rosalia to Tony."
There's a Rosalia, too.
What's my place in the ranking?
Rosalia is a girlfriend
I had some time ago.
I think she's marrying
the son of the building's landlord.
-A marriage of love
-Right.
He is sort of a dunce,
but his mother has lots of money.
Their penthouse is above here.
He convinced his mother to go
on vacation where Rosalia goes.
He's a fool, and in love.
He left the apartment unattended.
- I'll go up now and steal everything.
- To make Rosalia angry!
What do I care about Rosalia?
I have you.
Come, let's dance.
Guys, what is this dreariness?
Tony, sing a song for us.
- You want me to sing?
- Yes.
Alright. Everyone sit down!
Nice hit, guys
It's a big party for me tonight
I've finally found love
She's the prettiest girl
in the world for me
My heart seems to have gone mad,
beating for her
Nice hit, guys
An orchestra was playing for us
It's never been so fantastic
Sweet music like her kisses for me
My heart seems to have gone mad,
beating for her
I had thought that loving someone
Was impossible
But it's not true, a smile was enough
And everything for me changed
Nice hit, guys
Tonight I am celebrating
I know that tomorrow
I'll see her eyes again
My life is already no longer the same,
I know that
My heart seems to have gone mad,
beating for her
I had thought that loving someone
Was impossible
But it's not true, a smile was enough
And everything changed for me
Nice hit, guys
Tonight I am celebrating
I know that tomorrow
I'll see her eyes again
Already my life is no longer
the same, I know
My heart seems to have gone mad,
beating for her
My heart seems to have gone mad,
beating for her
My heart seems to have gone mad,
beating for her
Bravo!
I'm a bit tired tonight.
Goodbye! Bye everyone!
Bye!
- Miss Rosalia, my respects.
- Good evening.
I just came from Rome.
I'm sorry about what I said about Tony.
He is a good boy and only thinks of you.
Forgive me.
- A loving heart was speaking.
- It's very kind of you.
- You have a noble heart.
- Thank you.
No! You must not see.
- Give me that photo.
- This is Tony with another girl.
I didn't want you to see this photo.
I photographed a panorama
with my Polaroid,
and I innocently didn't notice…
You were right in showing it to me.
You are a good boy.
Darn it! I got a flat tire!
Mom will get furious.
He who plots and rats out
is the biggest coward of all.
I don't deal with gambling rooms.
Is that clear?
Turn to another chief.
Mr. Monticelli, don't touch.
You found out about the robbery
this morning?
Yes, I returned from the Pinetina
to get a fan and noticed…
- A break-in.
- No, nobody was in.
Mr. Monticelli, a break-in!
- The door was broken?
- No.
- The lock was broken?
- No, they came through the window.
- There's still the broken glass.
- Do you suspect anyone?
Suspect? I am sure!
- Only one person could've done it.
- Who?
Don't blow in my ears.
I understand.
Hello? Flying Squad.
Casatschok!
Casatschok.
Casatschok!
If you want to go in the steppe
You must look for Casatschok
That's the name of a small Cossack
And he'll teach his dance to everyone
Run, run to the little Cossack
Dance, dance with Casatschok
Casatschok is the dance of the steppe
Dance, dance
and it will no longer be cold
Casatschok, the winter goes by quickly
As vodka does,
it will inflame your nights
One, two, three!
Casatschok!
Casatschok!
One, two, three!
You won't have anyone's love
If you can't dance the Casatschok
While you dance
in the heart of the steppe
Your heart beats quickly
An orchestra of 1,000 balalaikas
Will accompany you in the night
Casatschok is the dance of the steppe
Dance, dance
and it will no longer be cold
Casatschok, the winter goes by quickly
As vodka does,
it will inflame your nights
Casatschok is the dance of the steppe
Dance, dance
and it will no longer be cold
Casatschok, the winter goes by quickly
As vodka does,
it will inflame your nights
Casatschok!
General Popoff, 14 plus one reporting.
Children, everyone to bed!
Let's go!
I didn't do anything, I want to leave.
Calm down, boy. Don't get so excited.
You are not under arrest,
you are just being detained.
You are being detained!
Hold still! You're making me dizzy.
- Want to take a sip?
- No way.
My parents will be in shock
when they find out.
- I understand.
- Have you been in prison long?
I'm just passing by, I don't live here.
I have a cell by the sea in Porto Azzurro,
it's top-notch.
Another 25 years of mortgage payments,
and then it's mine.
- You want to get a prison mortgage?
- I want to get out. I am innocent!
It's useless to get excited, kid.
Sit down here, tell me what happened.
We had a party,
and someone stole from the floor above.
Ring-a-ring-a-rosies
a pocket full of posies
A-tishoo, a-tishoo, we all fall down!
The king has sent his daughter
to fetch a pail of water…
- What are you doing here, kids?
- We are hunting butterflies.
You'll be hunting slaps in the face
if you don't leave right away!
You are being a bully
because you're so big.
But touch these children with just
one finger, and you'll deal with me.
Who are you?
Someone who doesn't back down
in front of bullies.
With you…
- Help!
- Sister Teresa!
- Sister Teresa!
- Carletto, what is going on?
He wanted to hit Ferruccio,
Mario and Bruno.
This is an archeological area,
and it's forbidden to enter.
Then you should kindly inform
whoever trespasses.
But you and good manners
don't have much in common.
- Let's go, children.
- There you go!
You rascal!
- Good morning, Fraulein.
- Hi, Carletto.
- Hi, Paoletta.
- Hi.
- This is a medieval city.
- Why is it all broken?
They ransacked it looking for treasures,
but they didn't find any.
- Let's look for them.
- Right!
The search will begin at 6 p.m.
Come!
I know!
The thief is the blond guy, Gianni.
- Why?
- Listen.
- You said he never danced.
- Yes.
- He left before the others.
- Yes.
And he said he didn't have money
to pay for the car installment.
- You're right!
- He is an amateur thief.
He's a lost cause, incapable of crime.
He's the worse type of scoundrel
because he doesn't have a record,
so they didn't get him.
- Did you get that?
- No, and so?
- Then go get him by yourself.
- How do I get out of here?
Pasquale is here, listen to me.
Now ask to go to the bathroom.
They'll let you go because you are new.
Meanwhile, I'll have a seizure.
- What seizure?
- Astronautic epilepsy.
Understand?
When they come to me,
you take advantage of the confusion
and run away.
- I see! You're a friend.
- Modestly speaking…
- Bye.
- Where are you going? Calm down.
Warden!
Warden!
This boy must go to the bathroom.
It's his first time,
he got a bit emotional.
DOWN WIV SKOOL
Children, silence! To your places!
We'll have a math lesson now.
Those who want to play ball can stay here.
The others will come for a nice walk.
Who wrote those words on the blackboard?
I am always willing to forgive you.
Whoever wrote it, come here immediately.
Alright, since the culprit doesn't
have the courage to come forward,
I will punish all of you.
You will stay in this room without playing
until I find out who wrote those words,
and who doesn't know his grammar.
- Did you write it?
- No.
- Torquato, did you write it?
- No.
Who did it? I've a date with a girl.
- Did you do it, Provolino?
- No, I don't know how to write.
Son, you say you don't know Gianni.
- Are you sure you don't know him?
- I'm sorry, Father.
You remind me of Little Tony.
You were saying?
Someone needs to urgently find Gianni,
but you don't want to help.
I'm sorry, Father.
We must always help our brothers.
Your word could save
a friend in a lot of trouble.
I won't do it again, Father. I'm sorry.
I am very sorry.
I have the hiccups, Father.
I'll be more careful next time.
I am really sorry, I'm sorry.
I am mortified.
Darn hiccups!
My gosh!
My hiccups went away, my mom was right.
If you get scared,
your hiccups will go away.
Who are you? What do you want?
Go away. Are you following me?
What does this hat mean?
Are you Madame Butterfly?
it's better if I don't see you.
I'll put on blinders like horses.
I think she's in love with me.
The hiccups again!
Stop. I must look at you again.
It went away. Bye.
What are you doing? I'm Tony.
- Have you become a monk?
- As if!
- You're kneeling?
- I'm confessing to you.
I escaped from prison,
the priest lent me his tunic.
- I know, I read it in the papers.
- Me too.
- How many times?
- What?
- You're looking for Valeria, huh?
- Yes, I am.
Valeria could help me find Gianni,
the blond guy.
Good idea, Gianni is smart.
He would tell you how to hide
the loot and run away to Beirut.
Gianni is the culprit!
He robbed the house.
- That son of a… Sorry, Father.
- What father? Stop it.
I must hurry! If they catch me,
they'll put me back in prison.
I didn't see him here.
- Where could he be?
- I don't know.
Listen…
- The test races are today.
- I think so.
Let's go, there's no time to lose.
There he is. Let's go.
- Come here. We caught you!
- Who are you?
- Come to the police with us.
- Why? I don't know you.
You don't? We'll talk with the chief.
Alright, I'll come,
but I didn't do anything.
- He's running away!
- We must get him.
Come on, Nando!
Get on!
What are you doing? Taking off?
Go slowly, Tony!
Ouch!
Oh, God!
You criminals!
Let me off! I want to get off!
- There's a stop sign!
- Be quiet!
- He's getting away!
- I have to pee!
I have a mother waiting for me.
What are you doing? Are you mad?
RESTAURANT - CAFÉ
Gosh!
Hoodlum! What are you doing?
Go call the police!
The police? Yes!
Police? Officer!
- I must go inside.
- You can't without a card.
- We must stop him.
- I'll take care of it.
What are you doing? Go away!
- You're so ugly!
- Hi, Nando.
Everyone freeze! Police!
- You! Come with us.
- What did I do?
Is it forbidden to play the drum?
They even broke it. What is this?
Hi, Valeria.
Did you get out?
Shouldn't you be in prison?
Blondie got in there.
- Handsome Gianni!
- Gianni who?
Your friend, that funny one.
The car racer, the thief.
The thief? What are you saying?
The other evening, he emptied out
the apartment above my home
and I got in trouble for it.
If I hadn't escaped from prison
and gone to get him at Vallelunga,
I'd still be inside.
Alright, but don't say he is my friend.
- Why not?
- You accuse, you allude to…
I don't want to get involved.
- It's over now.
- Maybe, but I want to keep out of it.
Isn't it enough
to know that Gianni confessed?
Listen, dear Tony, I don't give a darn.
It bothered me enough
that you looked for me yesterday.
You said you weren't home yesterday.
- That's right.
- Valeria, want to swim with me?
Yeah, I'll have you two go for a swim.
Listen to the music
and say goodbye to your friends!
Nobody is here.
Only me.
Everyone went out.
No, not Rosalia. You didn't see her?
Why did she come to Rome?
What did she want?
What do you say? What photograph?
That photo doesn't mean anything.
I acted a little stupid.
Yes, a little stupid!
Rosalia came to Rome
with ugly ideas in her head.
If she finds the girl in the picture,
she'll hit her.
I don't care about
the girl in the picture.
She's an idiot, I only saw her twice.
Rosalia knows she's my girlfriend,
the only one I care about.
I am engaged to her.
- Rosalia!
- Hi.
- Why are you here?
- You don't know?
- I can explain everything.
- What do you want to explain?
The sun will rise
To say hello to the day
A sad man will sing
To say goodbye to you
Who are leaving
You're leaving me alone
What did I do to you?
The night brings advice
and you can think it over tonight
It never rains under your roof
You have all the time to do so
If I were you, I couldn't sleep
As for me,
I am not able to close my eyes
I feel the ceiling caving in
and the walls are colder
I am a prisoner here
and can't do anything
Love, I swear I don't deserve it
Tonight or maybe never
The heart can decide
But if you leave me
Don't tell me that
It is my fault
You are leaving me alone
What did I do to you?
The night brings advice
and you can think it over tonight
It never rains under your roof
You've all the time to do so
If I were you, I couldn't sleep
As for me,
I am not able to close my eyes
I feel the ceiling caving in
and the walls are colder
I am a prisoner here
and can't do anything
Love, I swear I don't deserve it
You are leaving me alone
What did I do to you?
The night brings advice
and you can think it over tonight
It never rains under your roof
You've all the time to do so.
If I were you,
I wouldn't sleep over it.
As for me,
I am not able to close my eyes.
I feel the ceiling caving in
and the walls are colder
I am a prisoner here…
Carletto,
why aren't you eating the ice-cream?
You like it. It's strawberry.
- I don't feel like it.
- Eat it!
Don't force him, Tosca.
You really don't want it?
Then I'll eat it.
There! What's wrong with you?
I made a terrible impression on a lady.
- I didn't go to an appointment.
- It's not serious.
It is! She'll think I'm not a "gentleboy".
- Fraulein!
- Paoletta's gone. She was kidnapped!
- Kidnapped?
- We don't know if she was kidnapped.
But she certainly can't be found.
We are searching for her.
It takes patience.
Paoletta?
Don't be afraid, Marcoffia. I am here.
Look for Paoletta!
Your granddad was a police dog.
Marcoffia, don't leave me!
I'm afraid! Help, Marcoffia!
Paoletta!
Where are you?
Answer me!
- Answer me!
- Carletto, I'm here!
- Where?
- I don't know. It's dark!
I'll come get you!
I'm afraid.
Don't be…
Don't be afraid!
I'll sing you a song
so you won't be afraid.
Good evening, good evening
How happy I am
To meet you again
Can't you see that tonight
Is an evening that I want
To spend with you?
And if you slowly want to play at my game
Something will happen
Turn around, turn around,
let it go, let it go
Turn around, turn around,
let it go, let it go
Turn around, turn around,
let it go, let it go
Turn around, turn around,
let it go, let it go
Good evening, good evening
Saying hi to you is the most
wonderful thing that exists
I can see it in your face
that you agree with me
And you want to stay with me
Carletto!
And if you slowly get closer to me
Something will happen
Turn around, turn around,
let it go, let it go
Turn around, turn around,
let it go, let it go
Turn around, turn around,
let it go, let it go
Turn around, turn around,
let it go, let it go
Good evening, good evening
How happy I am to meet you again
Can't you see that tonight
Is an evening that I want
to spend with you?
Carletto, I'm here!
Play the game and something will happen
Turn around, turn around,
let it go, let it go
Turn around, turn around,
let it go, let it go
Turn around, turn around,
let it go, let it go
Turn around, turn around,
let it go, let it go
Children are disappearing here.
Now even Carletto!
- And Marcoffia too!
- Filippo! You think about Marcoffia!
- Let's do something.
- Don't worry.
- The search has already begun.
- Yes, the research…
- Marcoffia!
- My Carletto!
My Paoletta!
- He found her.
- Thanks, Carletto.
My nephew is a hero, he took after me.
Tomorrow at the Fish Feast,
you'll be celebrated.
Our Pippo Baudo!
- I know Pippo Baudo.
- Really?
He is my friend. Hi, Pippo!
- Our Pippo Baudo!
- Good evening.
Mine, all mine!
- Thank you.
- He's so handsome!
- I'd like to ask you a favor.
- What is it?
I'll take advantage
of your presence here…
Look at what an audience
has gathered for you.
- More applause!
- No, please.
What is it?
I'd like to take advantage,
between one joke and another…
- Is it possible to publicize…
- That is why I came.
- You already know?
- I know everything.
- Perfect! I won't say anything.
- Alright.
Ladies and gentlemen, good evening.
Thank you for your kind applause.
I am happy to be here at Pinetina a Mare,
and I want to reassure you…
With the Jonica insurance company.
- Via Tagliamento…
- What are you making me say?
- Don't interrupt me.
- Second floor.
I want to invite you
to taste a very fresh fish dish,
which is the reason for this evening.
- But firstly, insure yourselves…
- Right! Insure yourselves!
With the Jonica Insurance company,
against all risks!
Please, don't interrupt.
Let me continue.
The audience wants to hear.
- I am an insurance agent.
- Yes, I realized that.
- I am Bertozzini.
- Alright, but be quiet now.
Make sure that the famous wine
of this area is at your table.
And whoever among you owns a car…
Must get insured
by the Jonica insurance company
against all risks, damages
to oneself or third parties, hurricanes,
tempests, storms,
massacres of innocent people!
- Massacres of innocent people?
- It can happen.
- Please, Mr… What is your name?
- Bertozzini.
Hold the mic.
You talk and leave me alone.
- Not this.
- You hold it.
- No…
- Don't move it. It'll break.
- Shall we insure it?
- Insure it?
You came here and started
talking about insurance!
Who are you? Go away!
You are no longer mine.
Unbelievable… He's so unpleasant.
- Only because he's tall…
- I was saying, ladies and gentlemen…
That whoever owns a car,
can participate in the treasure hunt.
The regulations will be delivered
in a closed envelope.
But first, let's begin the fish festival!
Get in line, please!
- There's enough for everyone.
- Mom, I brought fish.
You idiot!
Watch out for hazards.
- The Germans?
- I mean the bones.
Are you a jinx?
No, it's dangerous.
You think about your Germans,
and I'll think of mine.
The war ended 26 years ago,
and he still hates the Germans.
Did you see the little fish?
Do you like it?
- It must be good.
- Who is it?
- Attendant.
- Marshal.
- Stefania's father.
- Who is Stefania?
- The little girl.
- Shall we go?
- Will you come see me in Germany?
- Sure, by a car.
- You have a car?
- No. I meant hitch-hiking.
I found out who wrote
"down wiv skool" on the blackboard.
Perticaroli did it!
- The best revenge is forgiveness.
- Yes.
- But if I find him…
- Didn't you hear your uncle?
Uncle forgives, I don't.
What's the matter? You seem sad.
I am not happy about what happened.
It won't happen again.
Already too many times
Your eyes have cried
You cry and don't know
That I could never leave you
You cry and you say
That it is just raining on you
You cry and you don't know
That I could never leave you
You cry and you say
That it is just raining on you…
- What are you doing?
- It's marine iodine.
- The valve is clogged.
- The iodine clogged you up.
Come on.
THE END
the arrival of flight 410
from Cape Town, Nairobi, Cairo.
Gate number 6.
- Hi!
- Welcome!
Welcome back, Ferruccio!
Welcome!
Hi!
- Hi!
- Welcome back!
- Do you feel alright, Ferruccio?
- Was the operation painful?
- No, I didn't feel anything.
- Did you get a new heart?
Don't shake him.
His heart is still breaking in.
They haven't changed
all of it yet, just a valve.
- Like a TV set.
- Yes, a four inch one.
- Welcome back.
- Thanks again, Sister Teresa.
- Good morning.
- Thank you, Carletto!
May I, sister?
I am Massimo Ferri from ANSA.
Is this little Ferruccio Vincenzi
who was operated on in Cape City?
And this is the schoolmate who donated
his winnings from the singing contest
so Ferruccio could be cured?
Yes, Carletto Bertozzini.
I'd like to take some photos.
Let's put the two friends in the center.
Sister, you stay with Ferruccio's mother.
Children, gather round. I'll take it now.
I think it wants to land, but can't.
It's forbidden to land here in Fiumicino
with those tourist planes.
It's having problems.
- What happened?
- Nothing. I ran out of fuel.
And you land at
Fiumicino international airport?
Excuse me, she didn't have fuel.
Where was she supposed to land?
In Corso Vittorio Emanuele?
- Who are you?
- I am the president's son.
What's this thing about the fuel?
I didn't fill it up before taking off
from the Urbe airport.
- I am very distracted.
- And also very cute.
Well, Miss Distracted and Cute,
please follow me to my office.
Why? Is there some formality
to be taken care of?
You are very funny,
but you've committed a serious offense.
- You must pay a big fine.
- Then I'll go back in a taxi.
No, I've a car. I will accompany you.
Thanks, that's very kind of you.
- I'll wait for you out front.
- Follow me.
Are you really the president's son?
The president of the Roma team.
Where is Carletto's brother? Weren't
you supposed to go back with him?
He should return with his friends,
he'll have more fun.
- Right, Carletto?
- Sure, we'll both have more fun.
Bye!
- Nando, wake up!
- Where is your brother?
He's coming back with the children's bus.
While I was waiting for you,
a girl two meters tall came by.
Beautiful and well-proportioned!
- She wanted a ride to Rome.
- What did you say?
I am a true friend,
and didn't want to ditch you here.
- Well, I will.
- Meaning?
I met a girl,
and must accompany her to Rome.
- I need the car.
- What'll I do?
A marathon.
In these situations,
you have to follow the updraft.
Tail down a little, a slip of the wing,
and you would have arrived
at Urbe airport.
You are very competent.
I have a pilot's license.
I was in the Air Force.
If you'd done as I said,
you would've avoided the fine.
- You like to fly.
- Yes, flying is like love.
Conquering the air is like
conquering a beautiful girl.
Instead of being
a driving school instructor,
why not be a flying instructor?
I'd like to, but I don't know anyone.
My cousin is the director of the Aeroclub.
They are looking for personnel,
and the pay is very good.
- Do you often go to the Aeroclub?
- Almost every day.
You'll see me there often.
This is it.
This public housing is depressing.
- Want to come in for a drink?
- I'd love to.
- Really?
- Yes.
Not bad! Where are the goldfish?
I sent them on vacation to the Bahamas.
- Are you crazy?
- Why?
Yesterday was a sunny day
But today, the weather is ugly
Look how strange your face is!
It changes expression every day
While it's normal if the weather changes
I don't think it's the same thing
when you change
But you've got a screw loose
If you said yes to me yesterday
And today you say no,
and tomorrow you'll say yes
And then again no or yes,
you've got a screw loose
If it's cold, if it's raining or windy
The sun comes out
and everything is normal
But if you change every day
That is not natural
So if the weather changes, it's normal
I don't think it's the same thing
when you change
But you've got a screw loose
If yesterday you said yes to me
And today you say no,
and tomorrow you'll say yes
And then again no or yes,
you've got a screw loose
And today you say no
and tomorrow you'll say yes
And then again no or yes
you're missing a few screws
You've got a screw loose!
Peppino! Does this seem
like the moment to play?
We must leave. The Caputos are ready.
- I must do my lip.
- You want to put makeup on?
No! I must do my lip exercises,
for the instrument.
The Pinetina a Mare band is already there.
They told me to hurry.
Engineer Ferretti called,
the piccolo teacher.
- He's already done his lip.
- Yes, I remember.
Now help me close the suitcase.
I can't do it.
You put half the house inside.
Not at all, they were
the last indispensable things.
Here.
It won't close!
- What is it?
- My finger was caught.
- Sorry.
- It's my valve finger.
How will I play a B-flat now?
You should have been more careful.
Mom, you're not putting
my little book inside?
- "Little Lord Fauntleroy".
- This is all we needed!
You call him "little",
but he's a big lord.
- We're ready.
- Here he is! Mazzoli!
Don't start tormenting this poor creature.
His is my brother, your brother-in-law.
- He's part of the family.
- Let him talk.
"A donkey's bray doesn't reach the sky."
Scoundrel. How dare you?
- I quoted a proverb.
- You called me a donkey.
No, it's just the proverb.
No comparison was intended.
- Yes, of course.
- Actually, you are right.
He is right in saying I'm a donkey.
Only a donkey can carry the weight
of supporting his whole family
on vacation at Pinetina a Mare.
Then I was right. Why are you complaining?
Tosca, have him go away.
I'll kill him with the trombone.
You never could stand him!
- Never!
- Right. I never could stand him.
And to avoid seeing him,
because I don't want to see him…
I know he is there,
but I don't want to see him.
He'll stay in Rome,
taking care of the apartment.
In Rome? I already packed my bags.
Marcoffia's vanity case, too.
- I don't want to look. Is he there?
- Yes.
I can't support a whole family
on the modest salary
of an insurance agent,
especially that parasite farm
over there. Is he still there?
This poor animal needs sand baths.
- I can smell the stench.
- I wash her every day.
You're not grateful.
Now you call her a parasite farm?
Remember what happened on the 24th of
May?
Yes! "The army was marching
to reach the border".
He means May 24th of last year.
Thieves came and Marcoffia started
barking, waking up the household.
You didn't understand a thing.
He was the thief.
Him! And Marcoffia, the dog,
didn't recognize him
because she is stupid.
- What is this?
- It's the thing…
It's the trombone's coat.
Dad, let him come.
You said this year the house is bigger.
Yes, but listen.
I got a home together with Caputo.
We barely fit. We're as tight as sardines.
One extra sardine…
He is not a sardine.
He's a piranha.
A piranha is a bit much.
Know what a piranha is?
A very voracious fish.
In 11 minutes, it can eat an elephant.
Put an elephant in water.
Look at your watch,
and in 11 minutes the elephant is gone.
All that is left is the carcass,
the feet, and the piranha swimming off.
Peppino, I think you are exaggerating.
Let him talk!
Saying anything to him
is like washing a donkey's head.
Again?
- It's just a proverb.
- A proverb.
- I'll give you a proverb…
- What a lovely welcome!
If you don't want to take me
to Pinetina a Mare,
you don't have to throw things in my face.
Mr. Caputo, it wasn't meant for you,
but for my brother.
The eternal clash between brothers-in-law.
I have my trunk at the front door.
How many suitcases do you have?
The minimum necessary.
We have five, Filippo's two
and a few packages,
and my husband's trombone.
Do you think my 850 is a truck?
We have our suitcases, too.
How much baggage can you have
with your empty home,
on that petty salary?
- Two trunks, three suitcases, dinghy.
- A dinghy?
I'll stay in Rome, then,
if you're taking all that stuff
and there's no room for me.
We need the raft.
Why are you taking the trombone?
The trombone is mine.
Let's start taking the bags down.
Mr. Caputo, please help Peppino.
- Come on. Take that.
- This one?
This one.
- Take this one, too.
- How?
With your hands.
- There. Anything else?
- Yes, of course.
Come on. Here.
You've got another free arm.
Here. This one with your index finger.
- Under your arm.
- Here. Give it to me.
- The boy's boat!
- We can't forget the boat.
What else is there? Oh, this!
We'll put it here.
- Hold it with your jaw.
- Let's go.
Mr. Bertozzini,
if you want, my mouth is free.
No, you stutter.
You'd open your mouth
and the stuff would fall.
What did you put in these suitcases?
My gosh, you are so delicate!
You are a man. You have the build
of a man. Look at me!
I'll take the heaviest.
It's light as a feather.
- The suitcase is broken.
- It's broken?
You broke it.
You think this suitcase is a closet,
but it isn't.
Get closer.
Will you promise not to stutter anymore?
- I promise.
- Not to talk without a reason?
- Yes.
- Open your mouth.
Go on.
And don't talk. Think.
Think. Thoughts!
- Wait, the trombone!
- No!
The trombone! Come here.
Open your legs.
We'll put it between your knees.
- Are we ready to leave?
- Rosalia, thank heavens!
Sort this out. I'll get another suitcase.
- Hi, Lia.
- What is it, Tony? What happened?
The Aeroclub accepted my application
for a flight instruction course.
Aren't you glad?
Yes, but I either give up the course
or the vacation.
I waited so long
for summer to come to be with you,
and now I have the chance
to earn lots of money.
We could get married soon.
What do we care?
We have a long time ahead of us.
I'll tell the Aeroclub that if
they want me, they'll have to wait.
- You think they'll wait for you?
- I don't.
I'll buy the house in 20 years.
In 20 years?
You can't give up such an important job.
But I can't be away from you.
- I'll call.
- No. I'll stay in Rome too.
You can't give up the sea.
I must do this sacrifice.
I'll stay in Rome alone,
and build our future in this home.
But you must go. I'll think of you.
I'll call you and come to see you
every time I can.
Yes, Tony. That is what we must do.
Go down, dear. I'll join you right away.
Remember, we must be strong.
Did you tie it down properly?
Yes, I did.
- Where is the trombone?
- We'll put it on the rack.
Just a moment. Easy!
It's delicate. On the suitcase rack?
If we go under a bridge,
the trombone will fall off.
- Who will give it back to me?
- And the suitcases?
My luggage is well insured,
and if we lose the others, who cares?
They'll pay for the trombone, too.
Caputo, let's talk openly.
You often speak too carelessly
about the trombone.
Do you know what a trombone is?
You make that gesture?
Do you know who played it?
- Who played it?
- Girardengo. And be quiet!
Wasn't Girardengo a cyclist?
- That's what they say.
- Where will we put the trombone?
I've thought of everything. Pick it up.
Like a baby. Like this.
- Now keep it there.
- I'll drive holding the trombone?
Put it here. I'll make one thing clear.
I will never get in a car driven by you.
You stutter even when you drive.
Jumps and leaps…
I remember when we went to Rocca di Papa.
You gave me butterflies in my stomach.
It was so swollen.
A swollen stomach!
How will we get everything
to fit in the car?
I've got it. I'll drive, next to me
will be my wife and Carletto,
while the rest of the family and you…
- What is this called?
- The roof rack.
You'll hang on to it
and hold the trombone.
- Tony isn't coming.
- What?
Rosalia convinced me to accept
the new job at the Aeroclub.
A new job?
I never heard anything about a new job.
You have now. Tony works.
He's a flight instructor.
- It's dangerous!
- No.
- He's an instructor. He instructs.
- Yes.
Does he know how to do it? Alright.
This way, they'll be able to marry sooner.
If Tony isn't coming
then there's an extra bed.
No. You'll sleep on the terrace.
It's decided.
- But I have rheumatism!
- You'll have to keep it.
- Shall we go on this vacation?
- Let's.
- I'm leaving. Bye, Dad.
- Bye.
Remember what I said to you.
- Close the door, water, gas…
- Yes.
- And cut your hair.
- Bye, Rosalia.
- Bye.
- Goodbye.
- Let's go.
- You'll send him a telegram.
In the car!
Come on. Let's hurry, it's hot.
Come on!
This animal…
- Just a moment!
- What is it?
The trombone!
Here.
Be careful!
Start off slowly,
the clutch releases quickly.
I've had a license since 1933!
What is going on?
My gosh!
- What a disaster!
- My gosh!
- You said you'd tied them down.
- You didn't start smoothly enough.
Be quiet! Pick them up!
Look!
- Who lost their underwear?
- That is the kitchen tablecloth.
I made underpants for Peppino with it.
Sure, let's tell everyone
that these are my underpants!
They are Dad's underpants.
If you want to resign, just tell him.
And the severance pay? If he fires me,
he must give me 300,000 lira.
Let's pretend to argue. I'll throw you
the ice-cream, you duck…
- And the ice-cream hits Ignazio.
- Let's go.
- Good morning, Mr. Ignazio.
- Good morning.
You show up at this hour?
Do I pay you to eat ice-cream?
You're right, this imbecile is to blame.
- He fell asleep.
- Who did you say imbecile to?
If you make me angry, I'll bust your face.
Whose face will you bust,
you tufted idiot?
Stop arguing! Calm down.
You should have waited
for me to bend over. Take this!
Excuse me, Mr. Ignazio!
- I'm sorry!
- What are you doing?
I'm sorry, my foot! You're fired!
- Go away!
- I'm entitled to severance pay.
Yes, but get out!
- What will I do?
- Go to work.
Prepare the car.
The clients are about to arrive.
If Nando is fired, I'll leave too.
Go away. Both of you, go away!
You won't get one lira
of severance pay. Go away!
And turn on the light right now!
Bear right.
Don't go the other way.
Re-select yourselves.
My gosh!
Carry things properly.
You walk like sheep.
- Where will I put the trombone?
- In the music room.
- Where is it?
- Go! So many questions!
What are you doing?
- I am parking.
- What?
This is a red zone.
Get out of here with that animal.
Don't mistreat her.
Listen, you friend of animals.
If she bites me, both of you
will end up in the gas chamber.
Let's go, Marcoffia.
We are being politically persecuted.
- What is the prefix for Rome?
- 06.
Occupied.
Hurry up. Brief sessions, please.
Are you talking?
Yes, love.
Yes, Tony.
- Yes, dear.
- Yes. That one, that one.
Excuse me. Hello? Tony, it's me.
With this long distance…
Who will pay the phone bills?
Be brief, brief sessions!
My gosh. They opened the window.
There's a draft.
No, I went out.
Let's make one thing clear:
we need to respect shifts.
I'm there from eight to nine.
It's what I'm used to.
Then, from nine to ten, there's my wife.
From ten to 11, there's my son.
Then your daughter, then the guests…
- When is it my turn?
- You can burst.
You'll go with your animal
to a public bathroom.
Weren't you going to pee?
Darn!
Wait for me here,
I'll go prepare the plane.
- Alright.
- Hi, Granddad!
- Hi, tufty.
- Hurry.
He caught another one. Darn him!
What are you looking at, pretty lady?
Are you looking at planes?
What are you doing with these
little airplanes? They're worms!
These days, man goes to the moon.
You want to go to the moon?
- What are you saying?
- What am I saying?
I say you're a pretty lady,
and I can take you to the moon.
- Do you have a rocket?
- I'll get one. I have connections.
You are lovely. Give me a kiss!
Hold still or I'll call my boyfriend!
That one? That guy with the tuft?
You can dust coffee cups with that tuft.
Look at me.
Look at me! I am not to be thrown away.
Look into my eyes.
- What do you feel?
- I don't feel anything.
It's not possible, look at me again.
- What do you feel?
- Nothing!
You don't feel anything? Well, I do.
When I am next to a lovely girl,
I feel like another person.
I feel that I can do anything.
I feel like Julius Caesar
when he crossed the Rubicon.
I feel like Garibaldi at Calatafimi.
I feel like Napoleon.
I feel like Chichester, the solo sailor.
I feel like an astronaut
who is conquering space.
I feel… I feel…
I feel…
I feel, I feel…
I feel terrible. Who are you?
What do you want? Are you persecuting me?
Go away!
Only for you, only for you
Will I sing my song
Only for you, only for you
I want a life that's worth something
Always the same life
No, it won't ever change
I count every day
and they all seem the same
I am looking for a new woman
who can give me everything
What I never had from her
Love is dying, only you can save it
Fill the emptiness in my heart
Only for you, only for you
Would I want to change
this life that is dying
Always the same life
no, it will never change
I count every day
and they all seem the same
I am looking for a new woman
Who can give me everything
What I never had from her
Love is dying
Only you can save it
Fill the emptiness in my heart
Only for you, only for you
Do I want a life that is worth something
Only for you, only for you…
It really is marvelous!
With this plane, I could travel
the world. With you, naturally.
Wouldn't it be boring
to take such a long trip?
With the help of an auto-pilot,
I know what I'd do.
Tony!
Excuse me, I'll join you right away.
- Hi, Nando.
- Some friend you are.
- Why?
- You disappeared.
You could have made a phone call.
When the employee asked
what my profession is, I replied,
"Daddy's boy, unemployed."
Hi, pilot!
I left my Boeing outside the gate.
Would you mind parking it?
The keys are inside.
I'm sorry, but the pickup truck
already took it away.
Pilot, are you offended? You are touchy.
In life, you are either touchy or stupid.
I don't think you are touchy.
Calm down. He didn't say you were
stupid, he left you a choice.
- Let's go, Valeria.
- The two of us must talk.
If Lindbergh here says
that you must go, go ahead.
- Alright, Tony. Let's go.
- Uncle gave you permission.
- Thank you, Uncle.
- Yes…
See you!
Will you lend me the net?
What are you saying?
I asked you for the net.
Go play with the other children.
I don't understand them,
they're from Bergamo.
- Lower Bergamo?
- Dunno.
I want to go to summer camp
with my friends and Sister Teresa.
We're starting on summer camp now?
We just arrived,
and Dad spent a lot of money.
Mom, this Pinetina sand
has a lot of iron in it.
It will be good for your rheumatism.
But we have our villa in Fano.
The Tyrrhenian sand is better.
This contains iron. During the war,
they used it to make cannons.
Did you take me here
to be close to Rosalia?
How can you think something like that?
She is engaged to Bertozzini's son.
But engagements can be broken.
So that's why you did it.
If I wasn't in this state, I'd slap you.
Mr. Filippo, all dogs in the world
can swim except yours.
She's afraid of the water,
she's had a diving trauma
since my brother-in-law
threw her in the Tiber.
It's not true.
You know it was an accident.
No, I saw when he gave her a little kick.
You are a visionary.
Me?
Rosalia!
The second vision!
Rosalia, where are you going?
- I'll put on my bathing suit.
- You dissolute!
You must remain dressed.
- How will I go swimming?
- With a diving suit.
- Behave.
- How boring…
Boring to your father?
This young generation!
Look at that!
Miss Rosalia!
You're here too!
Weren't you to go to Fano?
The proverb says,
"Slow and steady goes to Fano",
"he who seeks something sublime
goes to Pinetina".
Mr. Luigino, you know I am engaged.
I know, and I also know
you're very jealous.
Speaking of jealousy,
I wrote a song for you.
- "Jealousy Tango".
- They've already written it.
Then I'll write "Rosalia Tango".
Shall I play it?
It was the year 1968
I was at the balcony
while you passed by below
I found that you were
absolutely beautiful
in contrast with Mom's opinion
I started to court you insistently
I even sung a serenade for you
My impassioned heart is tired
With you it is destined
to be disappointed
Rosalia, Rosalia, Rosalia,
I don't want bread, but love and dreams
Only you are my darling
I am almost allergic to other women
Rosalia, Rosalia, Rosalia,
I'd do any acrobatic act for you
I admire your anatomy
Rosalia, Rosalia, Rosalia…
Bring your children
to breathe air full of iodine!
One hundred lira per person!
Come on board!
Come up here.
Come up here.
Come up!
- Who is it?
- Up?
She's soiling my chair.
Take this ugly animal away.
Don't worry.
- Your throne would be ruined!
- I'll make this dog a meatball.
I'll make it with poison!
Let him speak.
The dog that barks doesn't bite.
Now I'm a dog, too! I used to be a donkey.
No, that is a proverb.
There is no comparison.
Just go away!
- Come. We're disturbing the emperor.
- Is it full of fleas?
See? This is how they hunt elephants.
Don't they shoot them
when they're on safaris?
No, this way you can capture
the elephant alive
when he is needed for…
a zoo.
An elephant walks,
and doesn't notice the danger.
The hunter moves away from the trap
without losing sight of the elephant.
Like this.
Of course, a big cage is needed
with a big shutter type door.
When the elephant falls
in the hole, he lets out a bellow.
Help! Let me out!
Darn children, darn jokes, darn vacation!
Dad, what are you doing in there?
The trap is for the elephant.
I made it for the children.
You want to play?
You dig holes in the sand!
Give me your hand and help me.
Wait. Easy…
He's bellowing.
- Did you already go for a swim?
- What do you care?
Peppino, you didn't recognize me.
I'm Tosca.
What did you do? You look like a clown.
I am going home, getting undressed,
then getting dressed.
I'll get undressed again
and close myself up in the closet.
What is it? You've become
as touchy as a monkey.
Monkey, bear, dog, cat, pig…
I am a walking zoo.
- What is the number of our cabin?
- Nine.
Darn vacation!
Darn the sea, the beach, the kids!
- Pass the ball!
- Throw the ball!
Go!
How dare you? How rude!
You entered my cabin.
I will see if something
is missing, and be quiet!
I had 1,700 liras, a coral horn,
a golden chain and my wedding band.
- Lifeguard! Lifeguard!
- Peppino, what is going on?
- What is it, Mrs. Cordognazzi?
- This rascal entered my cabin!
Please. He is my husband.
- He's a pig!
- Great. We've completed Noah's ark.
You wanted to enter
Mrs. Cordognazzi's cabin.
No. Mrs. Tognazzi entered…
- My cabin.
- Peppino, it's not our cabin.
This is cabana number 19.
No, this is number nine.
No, I'm sorry. Number one
fell on the ground, here it is.
See? This is number 19.
There's nothing yours here! Nada!
Understand, Peppino? Nada!
Call Gigliola Cinquetti then! Darn it!
Darn it to heck!
Darn it!
Tea with milk and a strawberry ice cream.
No more strawberry ice cream,
the last one is at that table.
You want chocolate, vanilla…
- No, I want strawberry.
- Paoletta, no whims.
We're out of strawberry ice cream.
Here, Paoletta. I'll give you mine.
Then just one tea with milk.
- You don't mind?
- No, he is a good boy.
He's very generous.
Maybe I'll lick it first.
He took after his uncle. I am his uncle.
- May I? Thank you.
- Come, Paoletta.
I have uncle's ice-cream.
- Is that little girl your daughter?
- No, I am the governess.
- You're not married?
- I haven't found my soul mate.
German men don't have eyes
if they never noticed you.
It's true that an old hen
makes a good broth, but…
No! It's a proverb.
There is no comparison intended.
- What does your father do?
- He has a refrigerator factory.
- My uncle makes brushes.
- My father is an insurance agent.
My uncle doesn't do anything.
We are here until the end of August.
What about you?
I'd like to go to summer camp
with my friends.
But today, I am happier to be here.
I talked to Sister Teresa on the phone.
You can go to summer camp tomorrow.
- Can't I stay a bit longer?
- Come on, Carletto!
I already talked to Sister Teresa,
she is waiting for you.
Filippo!
Fraulein, this is my sister, Tosca.
My pleasure!
Good evening, Luigino.
Miss, may I offer you something?
Mom gave me 1,000 lira.
- No, thanks. Nothing for me.
- You are alone.
A girl like you, all by herself!
- I'm not alone. I'm engaged.
- Sure.
But maybe your fiancé
is having fun with some girl now.
- Why are you so cruel?
- I'm not cruel.
I know the world. My mother taught me.
I am sure Tony is faithful.
A faithful man is yet to be born.
Only I have a different heart.
Faithful throughout the centuries!
But you refused me.
Don't say such things any longer!
Alright. Tomorrow I'm going to Rome,
I must buy things for Mom.
When I return, I'm bringing the camera,
and if you allow it,
I'll take some photos.
Well, good evening.
I greatly believe in the influence
of the stars, and you?
Yes, so do I.
- I am Gemini. And you?
- I was born on February 2nd.
Aquarius, perfect!
Gemini and Aquarius get along.
- Did you know that?
- No.
- I know everything about the stars.
- I see, you know everything.
Yes, everything.
The plane I left in Fiumicino
was rammed into by a jeep yesterday.
Weren't we talking about zodiac signs?
I changed the subject.
It's funny, don't you think?
A plane that crashes into a car.
That doesn't happen every day.
It's more common that an Aquarius
crashes into a Gemini.
My insurance will pay for the jeep.
And how should I behave with an Aquarius?
- Good night, Rosalia.
- Good night, Uncle Filippo.
Hello? Tony, is that you?
Nothing! What could have happened to me?
I wanted to hear your voice.
No, it's not jealousy.
But it's my passion…
You didn't come Sunday, either.
We haven't seen each other in ten days.
Do you still love me?
The tears I shed for you
Are tears of love for you
I love you, I love you
and will love you
I will hopelessly love you
Rosalia, did you fall asleep on the phone?
He is singing a song for me.
My gosh, a song on the phone!
A cut-price Saint Gennaro!
You sing very well, dear.
Repeat the refrain.
Why aren't you going out? It's raining?
Good night, my love.
Enough!
I'm hungry! I'm hungry!
I'm coming. Spaghetti, Nando-style!
It took you two hours to make it!
It was cooked over a slow fire.
Look at that.
Look at the spaghetti. It's alive!
It speaksfor itself.
Go ahead and taste it.
Slowly. Don't mistreat it.
- Lovely!
- Where are the posters?
- Why?
- This is glue.
How can you say that? You didn't taste it.
It's standing up straight!
I get up an hour earlier to wake you up.
I come here, make breakfast,
make lunch,
clean the house and shine shoes.
- Am I a part time maid?
- What is the second course?
- Spaghetti.
- Again?
With sauce! There is nothing else anyway.
- Do you have money?
- Yes.
- Let's go eat at the tavern.
- I knew it would end like this.
The water ruined it.
Children, get out of the water. Come on!
Let's go, kids!
Every road in this world
will lead to the sky
Even the vagabond wind
pushes up towards the sun
And everything here speaks of love
Joy is here in our heart
And everything here speaks of love
Everything speaks of you, my Lord
Every corner of the world
is scattered with goodness
Every man looks for charity
in his brother
And everything here speaks of love,
joy is here in our heart
And everything here speaks of love
Everything speaks of you, my Lord
Every trail on mountains,
each street in the city
Among joy and sorrow
is a school of kindness
And everything here speaks of love,
joy is here in our heart
And everything here speaks of love
Everything speaks of you, my Lord
Every street in life
only asks for loyalty
Who opens the heart to our Lord
In the Lord will rise again
And everything here speaks of love
Joy is here in our heart
And everything here speaks of love,
Everything speaks of you, my Lord…
Taxi!
- Follow that white car!
- It's a Lotus!
Follow it! We can't lose sight of it!
Alright.
I'll accompany Carletto this afternoon.
- No later than 6 p.m.
- Goodbye.
I must return at 5,
there's the soccer game.
Carletto, I have a nice surprise for you.
You know who I invited for lunch?
Paoletta. Are you happy?
The surprise is for you, too.
You take Paoletta, I'll take the nanny.
But tell Dad that you invited them.
Understand?
I see, I'll put out a sign
on the door saying,
"The food is good at Peppino's".
At least I'll earn something.
Carletto invited his friend Paoletta,
and the governess had to come, too.
You are so naive!
Your parasite brother did it.
- Me?
- You wanted to be a Latin lover!
- What?
- I know, I know.
He brought the German here,
involving the boy in his plan.
Peppino, what goes on in your brain?
Are you Rommel, the desert fox?
The fox! I'd like to know
what other animal I must become.
Alright. I am a Latin lover.
You should be happy,
I'll marry and leave this house,
where I continuously
have to swallow bitter pills.
These are Parmigiano pills.
Don't be a villain, we must all eat it.
You have a piranha fangs. How ugly!
You're right, Filippo, get married.
We can't stand it any more.
- Then you'll leave.
- Alright.
- But he must get my dowry.
- I'll do it between your horns.
God and the Virgin Mary have forgotten
him, why should I get him a dowry?
How will I marry with no money?
- No one will marry you.
- He's right, try to collect something.
I'll get you a dowry,
but you must marry Marcoffia.
- The dog?
- The dog.
With a veil, a wreath,
and her tail outside the veil.
I should marry a dog? Yes, alright…
- Are you kidding?
- What is it?
- So little for me?
- From six portions, I made eight.
Alright.
- He got paralyzed.
- Excuse me!
Excuse me. Something smells good!
I took the liberty of inviting
Laura Monticelli.
You know…
- She was alone.
- I'm not entitled to this either.
I'll say I am ill. Sit down and eat!
- Let's sit down.
- I'll look at you.
Sit down.
- My pleasure.
- Really lovely!
Here.
Eat and I'll watch,
check everything, look.
We are here!
- Hi, Nando.
- Hello.
- So she's Loretta?
- I am a good friend.
Did you see what a lovely girl?
My pleasure.
Tony, shall we have this party
at your home or not?
Yes, tonight.
Some friends are coming
and bringing instruments.
Yes, great dancing, a buffet, champagne!
Champagne? Beer and soda.
- Let's go eat. I'm hungry.
- Me too.
Where did you get her?
- Why?
- She's a lot.
My compliments.
You prepared a delicious meal.
Oh, please! It was improvised.
We didn't know you'd honor us like this.
- It was unexpected.
- Thank you.
You didn't eat anything.
My liver hurts.
- Who wants some cheese?
- Yes.
Thank you.
It's good.
Some bread and water.
-You like grapes?
No.
Thank goodness!
These seaside places would be
lovely without mosquitoes.
Instead of eating
in that dreary boarding house,
why don't you come to eat here every day?
What is it?
A mosquito.
Mosquitoes.
- Mosquitoes…
- What is going on?
- You're full of mosquitoes.
- All on my head?
Exactly.
Don't be upset, the difference
in height is not an obstacle
to stand between a couple.
It's what you say.
Remember what that kid
said to me yesterday?
"Will you give me a piece of her?
It's too much for you."
What do you care about
what they say? Be superior.
Loretta, you're dancing by yourself?
- You're walking the dachshund!
- Did you hear that?
- What are you doing?
- Now he'll know better!
Welcome… to my place.
"Rosalia to Tony."
There's a Rosalia, too.
What's my place in the ranking?
Rosalia is a girlfriend
I had some time ago.
I think she's marrying
the son of the building's landlord.
-A marriage of love
-Right.
He is sort of a dunce,
but his mother has lots of money.
Their penthouse is above here.
He convinced his mother to go
on vacation where Rosalia goes.
He's a fool, and in love.
He left the apartment unattended.
- I'll go up now and steal everything.
- To make Rosalia angry!
What do I care about Rosalia?
I have you.
Come, let's dance.
Guys, what is this dreariness?
Tony, sing a song for us.
- You want me to sing?
- Yes.
Alright. Everyone sit down!
Nice hit, guys
It's a big party for me tonight
I've finally found love
She's the prettiest girl
in the world for me
My heart seems to have gone mad,
beating for her
Nice hit, guys
An orchestra was playing for us
It's never been so fantastic
Sweet music like her kisses for me
My heart seems to have gone mad,
beating for her
I had thought that loving someone
Was impossible
But it's not true, a smile was enough
And everything for me changed
Nice hit, guys
Tonight I am celebrating
I know that tomorrow
I'll see her eyes again
My life is already no longer the same,
I know that
My heart seems to have gone mad,
beating for her
I had thought that loving someone
Was impossible
But it's not true, a smile was enough
And everything changed for me
Nice hit, guys
Tonight I am celebrating
I know that tomorrow
I'll see her eyes again
Already my life is no longer
the same, I know
My heart seems to have gone mad,
beating for her
My heart seems to have gone mad,
beating for her
My heart seems to have gone mad,
beating for her
Bravo!
I'm a bit tired tonight.
Goodbye! Bye everyone!
Bye!
- Miss Rosalia, my respects.
- Good evening.
I just came from Rome.
I'm sorry about what I said about Tony.
He is a good boy and only thinks of you.
Forgive me.
- A loving heart was speaking.
- It's very kind of you.
- You have a noble heart.
- Thank you.
No! You must not see.
- Give me that photo.
- This is Tony with another girl.
I didn't want you to see this photo.
I photographed a panorama
with my Polaroid,
and I innocently didn't notice…
You were right in showing it to me.
You are a good boy.
Darn it! I got a flat tire!
Mom will get furious.
He who plots and rats out
is the biggest coward of all.
I don't deal with gambling rooms.
Is that clear?
Turn to another chief.
Mr. Monticelli, don't touch.
You found out about the robbery
this morning?
Yes, I returned from the Pinetina
to get a fan and noticed…
- A break-in.
- No, nobody was in.
Mr. Monticelli, a break-in!
- The door was broken?
- No.
- The lock was broken?
- No, they came through the window.
- There's still the broken glass.
- Do you suspect anyone?
Suspect? I am sure!
- Only one person could've done it.
- Who?
Don't blow in my ears.
I understand.
Hello? Flying Squad.
Casatschok!
Casatschok.
Casatschok!
If you want to go in the steppe
You must look for Casatschok
That's the name of a small Cossack
And he'll teach his dance to everyone
Run, run to the little Cossack
Dance, dance with Casatschok
Casatschok is the dance of the steppe
Dance, dance
and it will no longer be cold
Casatschok, the winter goes by quickly
As vodka does,
it will inflame your nights
One, two, three!
Casatschok!
Casatschok!
One, two, three!
You won't have anyone's love
If you can't dance the Casatschok
While you dance
in the heart of the steppe
Your heart beats quickly
An orchestra of 1,000 balalaikas
Will accompany you in the night
Casatschok is the dance of the steppe
Dance, dance
and it will no longer be cold
Casatschok, the winter goes by quickly
As vodka does,
it will inflame your nights
Casatschok is the dance of the steppe
Dance, dance
and it will no longer be cold
Casatschok, the winter goes by quickly
As vodka does,
it will inflame your nights
Casatschok!
General Popoff, 14 plus one reporting.
Children, everyone to bed!
Let's go!
I didn't do anything, I want to leave.
Calm down, boy. Don't get so excited.
You are not under arrest,
you are just being detained.
You are being detained!
Hold still! You're making me dizzy.
- Want to take a sip?
- No way.
My parents will be in shock
when they find out.
- I understand.
- Have you been in prison long?
I'm just passing by, I don't live here.
I have a cell by the sea in Porto Azzurro,
it's top-notch.
Another 25 years of mortgage payments,
and then it's mine.
- You want to get a prison mortgage?
- I want to get out. I am innocent!
It's useless to get excited, kid.
Sit down here, tell me what happened.
We had a party,
and someone stole from the floor above.
Ring-a-ring-a-rosies
a pocket full of posies
A-tishoo, a-tishoo, we all fall down!
The king has sent his daughter
to fetch a pail of water…
- What are you doing here, kids?
- We are hunting butterflies.
You'll be hunting slaps in the face
if you don't leave right away!
You are being a bully
because you're so big.
But touch these children with just
one finger, and you'll deal with me.
Who are you?
Someone who doesn't back down
in front of bullies.
With you…
- Help!
- Sister Teresa!
- Sister Teresa!
- Carletto, what is going on?
He wanted to hit Ferruccio,
Mario and Bruno.
This is an archeological area,
and it's forbidden to enter.
Then you should kindly inform
whoever trespasses.
But you and good manners
don't have much in common.
- Let's go, children.
- There you go!
You rascal!
- Good morning, Fraulein.
- Hi, Carletto.
- Hi, Paoletta.
- Hi.
- This is a medieval city.
- Why is it all broken?
They ransacked it looking for treasures,
but they didn't find any.
- Let's look for them.
- Right!
The search will begin at 6 p.m.
Come!
I know!
The thief is the blond guy, Gianni.
- Why?
- Listen.
- You said he never danced.
- Yes.
- He left before the others.
- Yes.
And he said he didn't have money
to pay for the car installment.
- You're right!
- He is an amateur thief.
He's a lost cause, incapable of crime.
He's the worse type of scoundrel
because he doesn't have a record,
so they didn't get him.
- Did you get that?
- No, and so?
- Then go get him by yourself.
- How do I get out of here?
Pasquale is here, listen to me.
Now ask to go to the bathroom.
They'll let you go because you are new.
Meanwhile, I'll have a seizure.
- What seizure?
- Astronautic epilepsy.
Understand?
When they come to me,
you take advantage of the confusion
and run away.
- I see! You're a friend.
- Modestly speaking…
- Bye.
- Where are you going? Calm down.
Warden!
Warden!
This boy must go to the bathroom.
It's his first time,
he got a bit emotional.
DOWN WIV SKOOL
Children, silence! To your places!
We'll have a math lesson now.
Those who want to play ball can stay here.
The others will come for a nice walk.
Who wrote those words on the blackboard?
I am always willing to forgive you.
Whoever wrote it, come here immediately.
Alright, since the culprit doesn't
have the courage to come forward,
I will punish all of you.
You will stay in this room without playing
until I find out who wrote those words,
and who doesn't know his grammar.
- Did you write it?
- No.
- Torquato, did you write it?
- No.
Who did it? I've a date with a girl.
- Did you do it, Provolino?
- No, I don't know how to write.
Son, you say you don't know Gianni.
- Are you sure you don't know him?
- I'm sorry, Father.
You remind me of Little Tony.
You were saying?
Someone needs to urgently find Gianni,
but you don't want to help.
I'm sorry, Father.
We must always help our brothers.
Your word could save
a friend in a lot of trouble.
I won't do it again, Father. I'm sorry.
I am very sorry.
I have the hiccups, Father.
I'll be more careful next time.
I am really sorry, I'm sorry.
I am mortified.
Darn hiccups!
My gosh!
My hiccups went away, my mom was right.
If you get scared,
your hiccups will go away.
Who are you? What do you want?
Go away. Are you following me?
What does this hat mean?
Are you Madame Butterfly?
it's better if I don't see you.
I'll put on blinders like horses.
I think she's in love with me.
The hiccups again!
Stop. I must look at you again.
It went away. Bye.
What are you doing? I'm Tony.
- Have you become a monk?
- As if!
- You're kneeling?
- I'm confessing to you.
I escaped from prison,
the priest lent me his tunic.
- I know, I read it in the papers.
- Me too.
- How many times?
- What?
- You're looking for Valeria, huh?
- Yes, I am.
Valeria could help me find Gianni,
the blond guy.
Good idea, Gianni is smart.
He would tell you how to hide
the loot and run away to Beirut.
Gianni is the culprit!
He robbed the house.
- That son of a… Sorry, Father.
- What father? Stop it.
I must hurry! If they catch me,
they'll put me back in prison.
I didn't see him here.
- Where could he be?
- I don't know.
Listen…
- The test races are today.
- I think so.
Let's go, there's no time to lose.
There he is. Let's go.
- Come here. We caught you!
- Who are you?
- Come to the police with us.
- Why? I don't know you.
You don't? We'll talk with the chief.
Alright, I'll come,
but I didn't do anything.
- He's running away!
- We must get him.
Come on, Nando!
Get on!
What are you doing? Taking off?
Go slowly, Tony!
Ouch!
Oh, God!
You criminals!
Let me off! I want to get off!
- There's a stop sign!
- Be quiet!
- He's getting away!
- I have to pee!
I have a mother waiting for me.
What are you doing? Are you mad?
RESTAURANT - CAFÉ
Gosh!
Hoodlum! What are you doing?
Go call the police!
The police? Yes!
Police? Officer!
- I must go inside.
- You can't without a card.
- We must stop him.
- I'll take care of it.
What are you doing? Go away!
- You're so ugly!
- Hi, Nando.
Everyone freeze! Police!
- You! Come with us.
- What did I do?
Is it forbidden to play the drum?
They even broke it. What is this?
Hi, Valeria.
Did you get out?
Shouldn't you be in prison?
Blondie got in there.
- Handsome Gianni!
- Gianni who?
Your friend, that funny one.
The car racer, the thief.
The thief? What are you saying?
The other evening, he emptied out
the apartment above my home
and I got in trouble for it.
If I hadn't escaped from prison
and gone to get him at Vallelunga,
I'd still be inside.
Alright, but don't say he is my friend.
- Why not?
- You accuse, you allude to…
I don't want to get involved.
- It's over now.
- Maybe, but I want to keep out of it.
Isn't it enough
to know that Gianni confessed?
Listen, dear Tony, I don't give a darn.
It bothered me enough
that you looked for me yesterday.
You said you weren't home yesterday.
- That's right.
- Valeria, want to swim with me?
Yeah, I'll have you two go for a swim.
Listen to the music
and say goodbye to your friends!
Nobody is here.
Only me.
Everyone went out.
No, not Rosalia. You didn't see her?
Why did she come to Rome?
What did she want?
What do you say? What photograph?
That photo doesn't mean anything.
I acted a little stupid.
Yes, a little stupid!
Rosalia came to Rome
with ugly ideas in her head.
If she finds the girl in the picture,
she'll hit her.
I don't care about
the girl in the picture.
She's an idiot, I only saw her twice.
Rosalia knows she's my girlfriend,
the only one I care about.
I am engaged to her.
- Rosalia!
- Hi.
- Why are you here?
- You don't know?
- I can explain everything.
- What do you want to explain?
The sun will rise
To say hello to the day
A sad man will sing
To say goodbye to you
Who are leaving
You're leaving me alone
What did I do to you?
The night brings advice
and you can think it over tonight
It never rains under your roof
You have all the time to do so
If I were you, I couldn't sleep
As for me,
I am not able to close my eyes
I feel the ceiling caving in
and the walls are colder
I am a prisoner here
and can't do anything
Love, I swear I don't deserve it
Tonight or maybe never
The heart can decide
But if you leave me
Don't tell me that
It is my fault
You are leaving me alone
What did I do to you?
The night brings advice
and you can think it over tonight
It never rains under your roof
You've all the time to do so
If I were you, I couldn't sleep
As for me,
I am not able to close my eyes
I feel the ceiling caving in
and the walls are colder
I am a prisoner here
and can't do anything
Love, I swear I don't deserve it
You are leaving me alone
What did I do to you?
The night brings advice
and you can think it over tonight
It never rains under your roof
You've all the time to do so.
If I were you,
I wouldn't sleep over it.
As for me,
I am not able to close my eyes.
I feel the ceiling caving in
and the walls are colder
I am a prisoner here…
Carletto,
why aren't you eating the ice-cream?
You like it. It's strawberry.
- I don't feel like it.
- Eat it!
Don't force him, Tosca.
You really don't want it?
Then I'll eat it.
There! What's wrong with you?
I made a terrible impression on a lady.
- I didn't go to an appointment.
- It's not serious.
It is! She'll think I'm not a "gentleboy".
- Fraulein!
- Paoletta's gone. She was kidnapped!
- Kidnapped?
- We don't know if she was kidnapped.
But she certainly can't be found.
We are searching for her.
It takes patience.
Paoletta?
Don't be afraid, Marcoffia. I am here.
Look for Paoletta!
Your granddad was a police dog.
Marcoffia, don't leave me!
I'm afraid! Help, Marcoffia!
Paoletta!
Where are you?
Answer me!
- Answer me!
- Carletto, I'm here!
- Where?
- I don't know. It's dark!
I'll come get you!
I'm afraid.
Don't be…
Don't be afraid!
I'll sing you a song
so you won't be afraid.
Good evening, good evening
How happy I am
To meet you again
Can't you see that tonight
Is an evening that I want
To spend with you?
And if you slowly want to play at my game
Something will happen
Turn around, turn around,
let it go, let it go
Turn around, turn around,
let it go, let it go
Turn around, turn around,
let it go, let it go
Turn around, turn around,
let it go, let it go
Good evening, good evening
Saying hi to you is the most
wonderful thing that exists
I can see it in your face
that you agree with me
And you want to stay with me
Carletto!
And if you slowly get closer to me
Something will happen
Turn around, turn around,
let it go, let it go
Turn around, turn around,
let it go, let it go
Turn around, turn around,
let it go, let it go
Turn around, turn around,
let it go, let it go
Good evening, good evening
How happy I am to meet you again
Can't you see that tonight
Is an evening that I want
to spend with you?
Carletto, I'm here!
Play the game and something will happen
Turn around, turn around,
let it go, let it go
Turn around, turn around,
let it go, let it go
Turn around, turn around,
let it go, let it go
Turn around, turn around,
let it go, let it go
Children are disappearing here.
Now even Carletto!
- And Marcoffia too!
- Filippo! You think about Marcoffia!
- Let's do something.
- Don't worry.
- The search has already begun.
- Yes, the research…
- Marcoffia!
- My Carletto!
My Paoletta!
- He found her.
- Thanks, Carletto.
My nephew is a hero, he took after me.
Tomorrow at the Fish Feast,
you'll be celebrated.
Our Pippo Baudo!
- I know Pippo Baudo.
- Really?
He is my friend. Hi, Pippo!
- Our Pippo Baudo!
- Good evening.
Mine, all mine!
- Thank you.
- He's so handsome!
- I'd like to ask you a favor.
- What is it?
I'll take advantage
of your presence here…
Look at what an audience
has gathered for you.
- More applause!
- No, please.
What is it?
I'd like to take advantage,
between one joke and another…
- Is it possible to publicize…
- That is why I came.
- You already know?
- I know everything.
- Perfect! I won't say anything.
- Alright.
Ladies and gentlemen, good evening.
Thank you for your kind applause.
I am happy to be here at Pinetina a Mare,
and I want to reassure you…
With the Jonica insurance company.
- Via Tagliamento…
- What are you making me say?
- Don't interrupt me.
- Second floor.
I want to invite you
to taste a very fresh fish dish,
which is the reason for this evening.
- But firstly, insure yourselves…
- Right! Insure yourselves!
With the Jonica Insurance company,
against all risks!
Please, don't interrupt.
Let me continue.
The audience wants to hear.
- I am an insurance agent.
- Yes, I realized that.
- I am Bertozzini.
- Alright, but be quiet now.
Make sure that the famous wine
of this area is at your table.
And whoever among you owns a car…
Must get insured
by the Jonica insurance company
against all risks, damages
to oneself or third parties, hurricanes,
tempests, storms,
massacres of innocent people!
- Massacres of innocent people?
- It can happen.
- Please, Mr… What is your name?
- Bertozzini.
Hold the mic.
You talk and leave me alone.
- Not this.
- You hold it.
- No…
- Don't move it. It'll break.
- Shall we insure it?
- Insure it?
You came here and started
talking about insurance!
Who are you? Go away!
You are no longer mine.
Unbelievable… He's so unpleasant.
- Only because he's tall…
- I was saying, ladies and gentlemen…
That whoever owns a car,
can participate in the treasure hunt.
The regulations will be delivered
in a closed envelope.
But first, let's begin the fish festival!
Get in line, please!
- There's enough for everyone.
- Mom, I brought fish.
You idiot!
Watch out for hazards.
- The Germans?
- I mean the bones.
Are you a jinx?
No, it's dangerous.
You think about your Germans,
and I'll think of mine.
The war ended 26 years ago,
and he still hates the Germans.
Did you see the little fish?
Do you like it?
- It must be good.
- Who is it?
- Attendant.
- Marshal.
- Stefania's father.
- Who is Stefania?
- The little girl.
- Shall we go?
- Will you come see me in Germany?
- Sure, by a car.
- You have a car?
- No. I meant hitch-hiking.
I found out who wrote
"down wiv skool" on the blackboard.
Perticaroli did it!
- The best revenge is forgiveness.
- Yes.
- But if I find him…
- Didn't you hear your uncle?
Uncle forgives, I don't.
What's the matter? You seem sad.
I am not happy about what happened.
It won't happen again.
Already too many times
Your eyes have cried
You cry and don't know
That I could never leave you
You cry and you say
That it is just raining on you
You cry and you don't know
That I could never leave you
You cry and you say
That it is just raining on you…
- What are you doing?
- It's marine iodine.
- The valve is clogged.
- The iodine clogged you up.
Come on.
THE END