Zum zum zum - La canzone che mi passa per la testa (1969) - full transcript
An insurance broker who is very fond of music has two sons. The older is in love with a Sicilian girl whose father is against their love; the younger is a disgrace to his father because, of all things, he got a very low mark in music at school.
I bought a mandolin
and I go out on the balcony.
When the young lady passes by,
I play a chord in F.
Then I sing this little song
which can sadden her.
Fli-ppò, Fli-ppò, Fli-ppò, Fli-ppò.
Spring flower!
The woman has hair on top of her heart.
I wouldn't take her as a wife
even if the doctor orders me to.
My word, my word of honor!
Other times.
The good old days…
Here she is!
I was starting to get worried.
Why did my wife start to sing late today?
She is so good!
She could go on all day.
Lindoro will be mine.
I swore
I'll win.
Parapà parapà.
To be honest,
marriage really held me back.
I was the king of comedy.
I was magnificent.
But then I settled down,
married and had children.
She'll laugh, she'll laugh, she'll laugh.
This is my firstborn singing.
She'll laugh, she'll laugh.
Isn't that the royal march?
He sings, he works
and brings no money home.
What does he buy?
Tailcoats, scarves of every color,
he goes to the hairdresser…
Here comes the parasite of this house,
my brother-in-law Filippo.
He's a jobless vagabond.
He likes to sing too,
but he prefers light opera.
He adores The Merry Widow.
He just walked the dog,
the second parasite of this house.
It's also full of parasites itself!
I feed them all.
See how he takes care of the dog?
He's the only one in this family
who doesn't sing.
My son Carletto, he's six years old.
He doesn't sing
and doesn't want to hear us sing.
Once I saw that he was wearing earplugs.
- Good morning.
- Thank you.
Thank you.
How many coffees do you take?
- One wasn't enough?
- Peppino, it's just a coffee.
You know that my brother needs
three cups of coffee.
Why does he wake up for?
He'd be better off sleeping all day,
this hero of national laziness.
That's enough.
Never mind, Tosca.
He just wants to humiliate me.
- You're something else.
- How many things do I do for free?
- Like?
- I take Carletto to school.
I pick Carletto up from school.
- Then I get the newspaper.
- And never bring the change back.
- They don't give it to me.
- You're either dumb or a liar.
- Now you care about change too?
- Let him talk.
- I have big shoulders.
- He's giving milk to the dog.
- You care about two drops of milk?
- I better leave.
I have to walk 20 kilometers because,
in order to support all of you,
I can't buy a car, not even a used one.
I always have to walk!
Why does your husband hate me?
Uncle Filippo! Let's go, it's late.
I can't even eat.
"Take Carletto to school, pick him up…"
I want to leave.
- Will you leave?
- Yes, but then I'll be back.
Let's go, it's late.
I heard you like guys with a quiff
That you like guys like me
I grew my hair to make you look at me
Now my friends laugh at my hairdo
I don't wear short hair anymore
Because I wanted to surprise you
And have you every day with me
Now, with this hairdo
How many girls would like to date me?
And you pretend not to look at me
And I can't date you
I heard you like guys with a quiff
That you like guys like me
Now you laugh at my hair
And don't want to hang out with me
Now, with this hairdo
How many girls would like to date me?
And you pretend not to look at me
And I can't date you
I heard you like guys with a quiff
That you like guys like me
Now why do you laugh at my hair
And not want to hang out with me?
Mom, I'm going out.
I don't know if I'll be back for lunch.
- Why?
- I have lots of customers.
- They all want me.
- Customers in mini skirts!
Is it my fault
if you made me so beautiful?
Pay attention, miss.
First, second, blinker, stop!
- Is this your love for Rosalia?
- I'm serious with her.
- Bye.
- Bye.
- Is Rosalia home?
- Yes, I'll call her.
Don't keep her too long.
I'm just back from the newspaper.
- She's making me breakfast.
- No, don't worry.
Wait.
Rosalia, behave.
Tony wants to say hi to you.
Behave! Come in, Tony.
- Hi.
- Hi, Tony.
Mr. Caputo, I came to say
we'd like to go to the movies tonight.
I'd like to go too,
but I need to go to the newspaper.
At ten o'clock.
Lia and I could go by ourselves.
We need to understand each other.
I want you to call my daughter
by her full name. Rosalia.
You can go to the movies alone
when you're be married.
Is this crystal clear?
You could come over to watch TV
until Dad leaves for work.
It's the same story.
No, tonight
they're broadcasting a new show.
- Very nice.
- I'm going to work.
- I'm going to sleep.
- Rest well, Mr. Caputo.
Bye, Tony.
You could have let me go to the movies.
- Hands to yourself.
- He's a good guy.
He's a good guy, but he's broke.
He doesn't have a lot of money.
Luigi is also courting you and he's rich.
He has stocks, buildings, shops…
You have to marry him.
Dad, I want to marry for love.
I'd like it was love…
One can die of love
while you could live well with money.
Even Pirandello said so.
Go get me a chamomile tea. I'm nervous.
- Go.
- Yes, Dad.
I must be a mother and a father for her.
And when she gets married,
even a mother-in-law!
- Good morning, Mr. Luigi.
- This is a bad day for me.
- Mom and I are very upset.
- Is something wrong?
Don't be a fool.
Mom said that in this building,
the stairs are always dirty.
I'm sorry, but your mother can't say that.
- I'm always holding a broom.
- Look at what I have to show you.
- Look.
- Do you collect cigarette butts?
Don't be funny!
I got this to show it to you.
Do you want me to follow everyone and say,
"don't throw your cigarette here"?
- Good morning.
- How are you?
- Fine. And you?
- I'm fine, thank you.
- Also my mom is fine.
- I'm glad.
Let me guess. You're going to Forconi.
That is one of our shops.
I go there every month
to collect the rent.
You see, I have my mother's full trust.
You're a golden boy.
It will be a lucky woman who marries you.
You tell me that?
I'd light two candles for Saint Gennaro
if you'd be that lucky girl!
Also Mom agrees!
- Good morning, Sister Agnese.
- Hurry up, kids!
Good morning.
- Good morning.
- Hurry, it's late.
You're all here.
Ferruccio Vincenzi is absent.
He's seriously ill.
I don't think he'll be back this year.
Last lesson we talked about the Earth.
The Earth is?
- You answer.
- The Earth is dirty.
What do you mean?
When I play outside, Mom always says,
"The earth is dirty."
You answer, Marti.
- The Earth is round.
- Now you understand?
Yes, but it's dirty!
Silence, children. Silence.
Today the lesson will be longer than usual
but it will be fun
because today we will sing.
- Do you like to sing?
- Yes!
Silence! Singing should be a subject
in every school.
What's wrong, Carletto?
I'm happy when I come to school
because I'm away from my house,
where everybody sings.
I don't want to sing.
How come you don't like to sing?
Even birds sing.
I want to be a hunter!
- Vittorio.
- Coming.
Did you go validate Bonotti's license?
No, I spent all day with the students.
- Tony?
- Hasn't arrived yet.
That's wonderful!
Decide which one of you should go
because I promised we'd do it.
Who's there?
Should I write the city?
- What city?
- A city must always be Capital.
For example, Rome is always the capital!
- Would you do a chore for me?
- What is it?
Go validate the driving licenses.
You heard Mr. Ignazio…
What?
When we have to wash the cars,
you always say it isn't your job,
and the same about the drawings.
- Today I say this isn't my duty.
- You're an artist, Chamomile.
Call me Enrico, not Chamomile.
Enrico, will you go?
- Hi, Chamomile.
- Stop calling me that.
- I am more awake than you.
- Careful, he bites.
- Here they come.
- These are yours.
As usual. I'm going.
Please, the car is ready.
All monsters to me.
- Are you my friend?
- Why?
- I must tell you a secret.
- What?
When I wake up, I'm already tired.
- It must be a nervous breakdown.
- What does that mean?
Is anyone here?
Later.
- Good morning.
- I'm sorry, I'm late.
- I had an appointment at nine.
- The car is outside. Let's go.
- Mr. Ignazio, I'm going out.
- Miss Antarelli, is it you?
- This is the fourth lesson.
- Yes.
Wait for two other students.
She's in a hurry.
Her boyfriend is coming from Milan.
All right. Wait, Tony.
You're good with the car.
Now let's see with the go-cart.
Is anyone here?
Please, give us two go-carts.
If you want to ride one,
you must wear the uniform.
- Go, your niece will wait here.
- I'll be back.
You have a lovely job.
These little cars are so nice.
If you knew how many sacrifices it took
to make these little cars go.
The other day I was on the highway
at around 120 kilometers per hour,
when this guy starts tailing me.
I speed up a little more. I'm at 170kph.
And he was always behind me.
So I thought he wanted to race.
So I put the pedal to the metal.
180, 190, 200…
So he gets next to me…
And then he starts to fly.
It was an helicopter. I broke the engine.
Hey, you're very tall.
You could be a soldier!
Why do you like him?
- He seems nice.
- Nice? With that quiff!
Do you need a roof for when it rains?
Would you like to come out with me?
We could take a ride in my car.
I could take you
to Latina, Pomezia, Sabaudia.
- And we could lose control of ourselves…
- Paolo!
I'm busy!
Once in Sabaudia
we lose control of ourselves…
Where?
Who are you?
What do you want? Go!
Hidden in your world
You lose another day
Careful, baby, you have become a girl now
Every woman needs a man around her
All night I bang my head
To not think about you
You live in the world of your dreams
Tick-tock, time is ticking
Soon you'll wake up
And tick-tock
One day you'll fall in love
Knock-knock
You'll knock at this heart of mine
And then who knows if I'll still want you
Careful, baby, you have become a girl now
Every woman needs a man around her
If a cat can see at night
I can see in your heart
You're playing too much with love
Tick-tock, time is ticking
Soon you'll wake up
And tick-tock
One day you'll fall in love
Knock-knock
You'll knock at this heart of mine
And then who knows if I'll still want you
Careful, baby, you have become a girl now
Every woman needs a man around her
Tick-tock, time is ticking
Soon you'll wake up
Tick-tock, one day you'll fall in love
Knock-knock
You'll knock at this heart of mine
And then who knows if I'll still want you
Perticaroni brought in a mouse.
- Alive?
- No, dead.
And he put it in Pellegrino's backpack.
- Who is he?
- His sister has acne.
When Pellegrino opened the backpack
and saw the mouse, he started to scream.
Sister Teresa ran over
but when she saw the mouse,
she started to scream as well!
Ferruccio, don't get too excited.
Thank Carletto
for bringing you all these magazines.
Now rest.
Soon you will have to take your medicine.
Say goodbye to your friend.
Bye. Come back soon.
- When will you come to school again?
- I don't know. Bye.
- Thank you for coming.
- What did the doctor say?
The only doctor
who could help my son is far away.
- He is in Cape Town.
- Why so far?
He works there.
You need an airplane to go there.
You need more than half a million.
You don't have it?
No, we don't.
Thank you for coming. Come back soon.
- Bye, Carletto. Goodbye.
- Goodbye. Let's go.
Mom!
You're getting my car dirty!
- It's new!
- Is it yours?
- So we can get it wet.
- Only when it rains.
- Good morning.
- Good morning, Mr. Bertozzini.
My car is the eighth wonder of the world!
- It's brand new! Was it expensive?
- It cost an arm and a leg.
I used all my savings
but today is Saint Rosalia's Day.
- I bought her a gift.
- It'll be two years until I get a license.
You can come to my workplace by bus
and then I'll take you home in the car.
Would you like
to get some insurance on it?
- Careful!
- It's not made of paper!
I'd say two million for the passenger
and five for civil liability.
- Fifteen million for disasters.
- What? No disasters…
With the insurance that I offer you,
you can get insurance that would cover
the death of a minister or an actor.
With the insurance
that I'm proposing to you,
if you hit Marlon Brando
you wouldn't pay one cent.
Marlon Brando is there
and you can spit on him.
- How much would it be?
- 100,000 lira a year.
Marlon Brando can live happily, then,
because I'm not getting insurance.
Mr. Caputo, it's important
to be insured against theft.
- That's right.
- I've got an alarm.
We'll talk about it
at the end of the year.
- Wait until I get my bonus.
- What if they steal it before then?
What are you doing?
Are you jinxing me?
- Good morning, Mr. Caputo.
- Hello.
I just rang your bell and no one answered.
The porter told me that you were here.
I looked at the calendar.
Today is Saint Rosalia's Day.
Therefore I decided, together with my mom,
to give Rosalia this humble gift.
- Thank you.
- Your kindness moves us. Thank you!
Please thank your honorable mother,
Mrs. Laura.
Are you done? Are you going to think
about getting insurance?
- I have to think about it?
- You should think about it.
It would be a shame
if such a nice car got wrecked.
You're being superstitious,
but thieves do steal.
- The hand?
- Later.
If you want to come upstairs,
we'll offer you something.
Thank you.
If I can reciprocate your courtesy…
Tomorrow evening
there will be a party at the newspaper.
- You can bring your mother as well.
- Will Miss Rosalia be there?
- Sure.
- What about the Bertozzinis?
Yes, they are always invited.
They are our neighbors!
Tosca!
My slippers!
- The worker arrives! Where have you been?
- With a sick friend of mine.
Kiss your father. Go, go. I knew it…
That is a monument to the loyal dog!
- I don't want lice.
- You have lice?
- Not me, him!
- Marcoffio?
Have some patience.
Don't harass him all the time.
Don't worry.
- I don't care.
- You just care about food.
When my customers come here,
they leave full of lice.
- Someone complained!
- It's Bonetti.
He came wearing white and left all black.
Damn you!
No, I didn't mean you.
I was cursing
because I banged my knee
on the foot of… the table.
Yes, tomorrow you will get all the papers.
Yes, tomorrow at noon.
Thank you, and excuse me for what I said.
Thank you. Listen, this is what I say.
This house is full of ashtrays.
There's one everywhere you look.
And you make me burn my foot!
- Some people burn themselves alive.
- Am I one of them?
Can you please stop? You, go away.
- I'm leaving.
- Just go.
He even sings!
Can you give me my slippers?
Here they are.
Now we can't even sing in here.
You get bothered even if we sing.
That is so rude!
- If only I could have kept singing.
- "Marriage held me back."
"Not even Callas sang Norma like I did."
- Isn't that right?
- Marriage held me back as well.
Let's speak frankly. When I got married,
I had a contract as first male voice
for a famous theater show.
Me in front and all the boys behind me.
- Split, lifting leg, tip toe…
- Give me a break.
Of course you wanted to settle down
and start a family.
- Didn't we have children?
- Yes, three.
- Two.
- Three. One is an adult with a dog.
What did that poor man do to you?
Let him talk. One day he'll have
to repent for what he did to me.
- Listen, damn you.
- Calm down!
Leave me alone!
- Mom!
- That wine is generous.
- Can we eat? I'm hungry.
- What are you looking for?
- For the school insurance.
- You think about that.
- Time passed and you forgot.
- About what?
Today is Saint Rosalia's Day.
- Saint Rosalia?
- The stars were shining.
I have to think about everything.
Don't worry.
Luigi Monticelli took care of everything.
He got a nice gift for your girlfriend.
Peppino! Filippo!
He got her a nice gift, huh?
Hello?
This is the florist.
Good morning, Luigino. How are you?
Mom told me to prepare 12 red roses.
- Actually, let's do 24.
- All right.
Those with a long stem.
- Baccarat.
- Exactly, baccarat roses.
A friend of mine
will come to pick them up.
Put them on Mom's tab.
She'll come to pay tomorrow.
Don't worry.
We do a quick and wonderful job.
Thank you.
- What time is it?
- Midnight.
- Already?
- I don't understand a Swiss watch.
I don't understand you!
Tony, what took you so long?
Let's hurry. If the movie has
already started, I can't understand it.
- I'm not going to the movies.
- Tickets are cheaper today.
- Today is Saint Rosalia's Day.
- And yesterday was Saint Clelia's Day.
- Rosalia is my girlfriend.
- You'll go with her.
- I must give her a floral gift.
- What does that mean?
I'll tell you later. Please, go…
- Vittorio, go to the florist.
- What for?
To pick up the roses
that Miss Monticelli ordered.
- What did you do?
- Nothing, just go.
- I'll go then.
- What should I do?
You must wake up.
Dominique with his simplicity
Works in poverty
He goes everywhere to talk about the Lord
To talk about the Lord
He goes through seas and mountains
To preach
To preach about doing good
Dominique with his simplicity
Works in poverty
He goes everywhere to talk about the Lord
To talk about the Lord
In the morning he goes to pray
He starts to walk at dawn
Dominique with his simplicity
Works in poverty
He goes everywhere to talk about the Lord
To talk about the Lord
Walking in bare feet
To pay homage to humility
Before sunrise he goes to the city
Dominique with his simplicity
Works in poverty
He goes everywhere to talk about the Lord
To talk about the Lord
In front of his people
He raises his hands to the sky
And he prays to the Lord
With all his heart
Dominique with his simplicity
Works in poverty
He goes everywhere to talk about the Lord
To talk about the Lord
Those who listen to him
Fall down on their feet
They cry, they convert themselves
To saintly charity
Dominique with his simplicity
Works in poverty
He goes everywhere to talk about the Lord
To talk about the Lord
Thank you,
but now I'd like to applaud you.
Now it's your turn to sing.
- Let's start with the choir.
- I won't sing.
- You can sing in the choir.
- No.
Let's sing a beautiful song all together.
Please, don't make me sing.
I don't want to.
- I will not sing.
- Why you don't want to sing?
Family reasons.
Your report card will reflect that.
Rosalia, behave yourself. Come in, Tony.
- Tony!
- Happy name day!
Thank you, they are gorgeous. How many?
- Just 24.
- I'm twice as happy.
Someone said you'd forget about it.
Me?
I've been thinking about it for a week.
Sit down, Tony. Tonight we must have fun.
They are showing The Two Orphans tonight.
I want to see it all.
- What fun!
- Right!
Tonight we can stay longer,
because I can drive to work.
Did you buy a car?
I'm happy!
You didn't see it downstairs?
It's brand new.
- It's all blue.
- Nice!
Excuse me.
I want to look at the jewelry shop. Come.
- Come, Luigi.
- Yes, Mom.
- Did you like the roses I sent to you?
- What roses?
Those that Luigi ordered.
- Are you crazy? I didn't do it.
- Explain yourself.
Yesterday Mr. Luigi ordered
24 roses with long stems.
- The best that I had!
- He dreamt about it!
- How much?
- 5,000 lira each, so 120,000 lira.
- I know nothing about this.
- Come or I'll slap you!
You got an F in singing.
This is crazy!
A Bertozzini gets an F in singing!
No, this is insane.
I'll throw myself out the window!
- Don't say that!
- Let him do it.
Once I'm dead,
what will you and Marcoffio eat?
I meant that you're right
for yelling at the kid.
Why does no one ever understand me here?
- Excuse me, then, you and Marcoffio.
- Nonsense!
A poor man works day and night
and this is what he gets in return.
- Why this bad grade?
- I didn't sing.
If it was playing soccer,
you would have accepted.
Yes, Dad.
When I grow up I want to play soccer.
Two, four, six, eight,
meet me at the golden gate.
If I'm late, don't wait,
two, four, six, eight!
Can we play soccer?
Now we're going to sing a song. Come.
Don't run.
Do you know Zum Zum Zum?
Who wrote bad things about me?
Sure. Do you mind?
Miss Rosalia…
Tell me, what do you think about it?
- About?
- I've been telling you all evening.
You don't listen to me.
That song that you bought
and you want to sing for me?
I didn't buy it, I wrote it for you.
It's called "Miss Rosalia." that's you.
It's an homage to your beauty.
But this place is full of people.
They won't let you sing here.
Do you think so? See who's there?
My mom came as well.
You don't know this,
but she is one of the main shareholders
of this newspaper.
Wait.
- Mom, can I sing a song?
- Yes, I'll take care of it.
- My son would like to sing a song.
- He's the boss here.
- That jerk would like to sing.
- Yes, right away.
- Excuse me.
- See?
Ladies and gentlemen,
and now a pleasant break.
Luigi Monticelli will sing a song
that he wrote
called "Miss Rosalia."
Miss Rosalia, I'm not lying
You are my whole life
Miss Rosalia, if you won't be mine
I'll do something crazy
Miss Rosalia, you're music and poetry
Sugar and a pastry
Only you can give me happiness
And my mother agrees as well
I talked to your father
And explained my feelings…
Do you see him? He's serenading you.
I'll take you home and we'll have a party
Only you can give me happiness
And my mother agrees as well
And my mother agrees as well
Actually, I'm done.
Well done!
Your son sings very well.
He's so cute!
- Did you like my serenade?
- You were banging!
- What?
- You were a bomb!
Please allow me a dance with Miss Rosalia.
It's an honor. Go dance.
And behave yourself.
Rome is wonderful but I prefer Venice.
Have you ever been there?
It's a wonderful city.
Maybe a little melancholic.
- What do you mean?
- Decadent.
It is so dear to me,
it gives me goosebumps.
Yes, I had that too! The mumps!
- Do you work here?
- Kind of.
- You're kind of cute!
- I work in the ads department.
You mean the: AAA.
I'm short but handsome,
broke but I have an apartment.
- When can we see each other?
- You're going too fast!
Come, Carletto. Don't move.
- Why so late?
- You know how it is.
Mom changed eight times,
and he fed the dog.
- Shall we dance?
- Yes.
I was dancing with Rosalia,
I turn and she is gone.
Dumb!
Eat as much as you can.
That way you won't eat at home
and Peppino won't get upset.
Let's feed the dog as well. You eat too.
I'm going to see Mr. Caputo.
- Mrs. Bertozzini.
- Mr. Caputo.
- Your husband promised to come.
- He's in the twilight.
He told me that he had so much work to do.
But the truth is
that he doesn't care to dance anymore.
If I can have the honor…
- Why not?
- Can I?
It's the age.
Are you having fun?
I was having fun before,
when I was dancing with Miss Rosalia.
But she prefers to dance with Tony.
Do you know
that Luigino sang a song for me?
- He sang a song for you?
- Yes.
- I'll take care of that.
- Tony, never mind!
Do you know "Queen of Spades"?
Get in with the chorus.
I sinned, I know
I'll never do it again
I won't make anyone suffer anymore
I feel guilty
But the sin of keep on loving you
I know I'll keep on doing it
My conscience can't repent
Because I want you so
-I want you all the time
-Every night
-This sin of mine
-It's hell
-I know it will take me
-To hell
But this life of mine
Is hell without you
-I miss you so much
-At night
-I die of jealousy
-Every night
This poor heart of mine
A crone read my future
Every card would cry for me
There was always the Queen of Spades
She looks like you
But the sin of keep on loving you
I know I'll keep on doing it
My conscience can't repent
Because I want you so
-I want you all the time
-Every night
I want you all the time
-This sin of mine
-It's hell
-I know it will take me
-To hell
But this life of mine
Is hell without you
-I miss you so much
-At night
-I die of jealousy
-Every night
This poor heart of mine
Poor heart of mine
A crone read my future
Every card would cry for me
There was always the Queen of Spades
She looks like you
A crone read my future
Every card would cry for me
There was always the Queen of Spades
She looks like you
A crone read my future
What would it cost you?
My honesty. That's what it would cost me.
What if I signed the paper yesterday?
You should have signed it yesterday.
- There's no more time now.
- Blood of Judas!
Please, you'll wake up the child.
- I sacrificed so much to get that car.
- Really?
- Let's talk about this.
- What were we doing until now?
- We were upset.
- You, not me.
- Can I sign it now?
- Do you understand?
He's so smart!
He wants to sign it now and pretend
that we signed it this morning,
so the insurance will pay
for his stolen car.
- Could you do it?
- I could agree to this trick.
I could do it.
But I won't.
- Why?
- It's a question of conscience.
- Really?
- What do you have to say about it?
Over some stupid concern,
you put our friendship under your feet.
Don't worry.
My concerns aren't stupid, silly or dumb.
They are honest concerns!
- No!
- Very good.
At the police station, they said
that 100 cars were stolen today.
What were they supposed to do?
They were supposed
to send all cars out to find mine?
- Enough with this stamp!
- I'm doing my job!
It was brand new!
The policemen told me
that they'll find it in a couple of days.
- Maybe without the tires.
- Can you do me this favor?
- Help this poor man.
- He's no poor man. He's a rascal.
You'll repent those words!
I swear to God that you'll pay for this!
- Don't do this.
- Let him leave.
If I see you around my daughter,
I'll cut your head open!
He's Sicilian!
- What do you have to say about it?
- Just that you're Sicilian.
- Mr. Caputo…
- He's a Sicilian rascal!
- You made him upset.
- You got another coat.
And I keep on stamping!
Stop crying!
We invited Luigi to lunch,
not to a funeral.
What's Tony got to do with it?
You argued with his father.
What? They are a terrible family.
That's Luigi.
Get Tony out of your head
and think about him.
Behave.
- Dear Luigi.
- Dear Mr. Caputo.
Come in.
- Miss Rosalia…
- Good evening.
Let me offer you some good wine.
- I bought it.
- I'm so glad!
- It costs 1,000 lira a liter.
- I'll drink just a drop.
Drink, there's plenty. A liter.
How wonderful!
How nice of you to invite me for lunch.
We made you a Sicilian meal.
Spaghetti with anchovies.
I can smell it! Sit down. Here it comes.
A little more.
Hand me your plate.
A little bit for you as well.
If you don't mind, I'll eat here.
- Where?
- Here.
- Of course.
- Is it good?
Delicious!
- You're not eating?
- I don't want to.
I understand you.
I mean, when they stole my mom's car,
she didn't eat for six months!
When I hear talk about cars,
I can't eat anymore.
- Why?
- What?
- I don't know.
- I can't eat anymore.
I will not love anymore
You leave when you know that I still
Love you
Even though in the world
Lots of people are suffering like me
I know that my sorrow is bigger
Because I'm losing you
Tears are falling on my face
My hands are trying to reach you
But you're going away
Is it my fault
If I don't have all the things
That you want?
Maybe you'll have them from someone
That will never be worth something
To you
You will never find someone
That will love you more than I do
One day you'll have nothing but silence
Tears are falling down my face
Like a tree loses the greenest leaves
I'm losing you
Tears
I can do nothing else but cry
And it's all my fault
Because I can't give you more than I do
You will smile
Even without me
Even without me
Even without me
Let's go. The Baby Singer Contest.
How much is 50 golden coins?
- It's almost half a million.
- I'd like to participate.
You can't sing.
You can't enter the Baby Singer Contest.
You need 5,000 lira
to get into the contest.
I have the change
that I never gave back to your father.
We can use that. I'll talk to Pippo Baudo.
I know him well.
I see him every Sunday on TV!
Let's go and enroll
in the Baby Singer Contest!
Is your father sleeping?
I must talk to you.
- Did Tony send you here?
- No, my son is stupid.
Why?
How can it be that I had the idea
and you didn't?
Blue eyes, pretty nose,
this is your permit.
- Can I drive with this?
- Never alone.
- OK.
- Hemingway.
Where are you going without me?
Mr. Ignazio, everything is fine.
Tomorrow some students
are taking their exams.
- Will you take care of them?
- I have to go to the DMV.
- I will send Tony. Where is he?
- He will arrive soon.
- He's always late. Here, read.
- Thank you.
Thank you.
- Who's that?
- Hey, Caravaggio!
- I'm studying the candle.
- I saw it already.
- Where?
- On your grandpa's grave!
- Enrico, Vittorio.
- What are you doing here?
- Where's Tony?
- He'll be here soon.
- Let's hope he won't be late.
- Why? What happened?
I need you all to do something.
DRIVING SCHOOL
- Rosalia…
- I must talk to you.
- Tell Mr. Ignazio…
- We are coming too.
- Too.
- Don't copy me.
Tony, take me home.
We don't have time to spare.
- Come on.
- Let's go.
Aren't you coming?
- You said I shouldn't copy you.
- Move!
What time is it?
- Midday.
- Cuckoo.
- Then I was right.
- No, you're cuckoo! It's almost time.
Do we have to drag her into the car?
What if she screams?
Of course she will scream!
She will kick you and slap you.
- I'll punch her.
- Good.
She's about to come out.
You know what to do.
- Crouch.
- What?
Crouch! Do that!
I will start the car,
and slowly come closer.
You will get the girl, throw her in
and I will drive away with her.
- Hurry, people are coming out.
- Where should I go?
- To hell!
- I don't want to!
- It won't start! Did you fill it up?
- What for?
- To go.
- Where?
- To hell!
- I don't want to!
- Why are you stopping?
- No, I'm not stopping at all.
- I thought you stopped.
- Let's go.
- We should go that way.
- No, this way is better.
- Should I push?
- No, just go.
Take her!
- Hurry!
- Here they are.
- Let's take these two for us.
- You got the ugliest ones!
- Get Rosalia!
- I'll kidnap her and come back.
Come back with Rosalia.
Not him! Her…
- What do you want?
- Come on, let's go.
- She's beating me up!
- Get her and let's go!
- I don't understand…
- Let go of me!
This guy is trying to kidnap my sister!
That umbrella is a gift from my mom!
- Beat him up!
- Beat him up!
I know who you are! I'll send you to jail!
I swear on my honor that I will kill you!
- Have mercy!
- Let him do it.
- You're so rude!
- A dog that barks doesn't bite.
Don't kill anyone in our building.
My mom would get upset about it.
Wait a second.
Are you sure that it was my son?
I didn't see Tony
but I saw the guy who took her
and he was a friend of Tony.
He kidnapped her!
I will kill everyone!
What do you want? Be patient.
Kidnapping for marriage
is normal in Sicily.
- Funerals as well!
- What do you know?
He is a rascal and is also stubborn!
You don't know how to reason.
I'll go to the police station to declare
that a minor was kidnapped.
I'm going to report
a breaking and entering.
Report a homicide as well! Let go of me!
- Good evening.
- Good evening.
I would like…
A room… Two rooms.
Two rooms.
Would you like them to be adjoining?
- What?
- Adjoining.
- No.
- Yes.
- Two rooms.
- Close to each other.
- No.
- Yes.
- What about luggage?
- What?
You didn't bring any suitcases.
We are staying just one night.
Just one night. I see.
You know nothing. Do you have two rooms?
I do. Do you have your ID?
- What?
- Your ID.
- I have it, but my sister forgot hers.
- Your sister…
Your sister forgot her ID.
What a coincidence!
How old?
- Twenty-two.
- Sixteen.
Bingo! I think she's 16. Young man…
I see. I have been around.
Go away.
Thank God that I'm not calling the police.
Come on. Let's go.
A detective story.
A Grave for the Spy. I read it.
A good ending.
- Don't tell me, please.
- No, I'm not going to tell you…
What are you doing? You're a rascal!
- I'm out of gas.
- You should have thought about that.
I had gas. But we drove all around town!
- Where can we go now?
- We can only sleep in the car.
No, we have to spend the night
under the same roof.
Where should I take you, then?
You kidnapped me.
You have to think about it.
- Let's go to Enrico's.
- Chamomile?
Yes. That's the bus stop. Let's go.
The wall. I'm coming!
Well…
How cold! One moment.
I'm coming. Who is it?
- Wake up, it's me.
- What do you want?
Two beds to sleep.
They are all taken.
Enrico, what happened?
Oh, my God! My father woke up.
- And also the kids.
- I'll go talk to your father.
Go.
Careful not to wake up the boys.
They'll beat you up!
Who are they?
Did this family get bigger?
Mr. Moricone, this is an emergency.
Can you host us for tonight?
Where could I put you?
There are a lot of us.
- Busy!
- Grandpa sleeps in the bathroom.
In the kitchen…
Dad sleeps in the kitchen.
- Mom sleeps in there with the kids.
- How many of you are there?
- Many.
- More!
I understand. Let's go.
Dad…
At least we'll stay warm.
Try to sleep. Tomorrow we'll go home.
I'm happy until tomorrow morning.
Guys, this isn't a dormitory.
- This is the waiting room.
- The station is closing up.
- What are the hours?
- It closes at 1:00.
- We can't stay here?
- Not after 1:00.
Careful, baby
Sorry.
- Look who's here.
- Hi, Grandpa.
Hi.
This is another one.
- This is my girlfriend.
- You had that tall girl, no?
- She's a student at the school.
- A student?
What a rascal!
I like this one better.
The other one was too tall.
I don't like tall girls.
This one is cute. She looks like a doll.
Paolo, the phone.
Careful, baby Careful, baby
Paolo!
Can you leave me alone?
You are always calling me!
Good evening.
Careful, baby Careful, baby
What do you want? Are you following me?
I'll call the police. Scram!
- What a scare! Two drinks.
- One?
- Two.
- All right.
Where did Canfora go?
Canfora!
Even here?
- What will we do now?
- I don't know. We tried everything.
- What an idea you had.
- Now you're getting upset.
Of course! I'm going to get in trouble.
- Tony…
- Don't cry. You make me nervous.
- Tony…
- Let's pretend that it was just a joke.
- Let's go home.
- I'm not going home.
I will.
Tony!
Tonight I repent with all my heart
For the mistake of leaving you
Instead of all that I have lost
All I have is just regret
Love blooms one time and never again
Those who are in love
Share whatever they have
One day you cried all alone
For me this is the day
And I feel cold all around me
That only the fire of love can warm up
Tonight I repent with all my heart
Please, come back to me
Like a small drop
Consumes the hardest rock
Tonight my tears are consuming my heart
And also for me today is the day
And I feel cold all around me
That only the fire of love can warm up
Tonight I repent with all my heart
Please, come back to me
Like a small drop
Consumes the hardest rock
Tonight my tears are consuming my heart
Tonight I repent
With all my heart
In Sicily, when they do this,
where do they take girls?
- I don't know.
- This was your idea.
- No, it was your mother's.
- My mother?
My mother will have to help us. Come.
My mom would like an update.
I would have called the police.
It's a kidnapping.
My mom thinks
that they spent the night together.
Who will marry that girl now?
If they spent the night together,
Tony will marry her.
- And I will not let him marry her.
- What?
Marriage would nullify the crime.
And I want to see that rascal in jail
for 15 years!
- My son isn't a rascal.
- Don't touch me.
He was forced to run away
by that little witch!
- Don't touch me.
- She was my fiancée.
I don't think that my mom would want me
to marry her anymore.
Bertozzini, worry about yourself.
I'm not killing you because I want
to see your son in jail for 20 years!
- You said 15.
- I want five more years!
This is the end!
We have news. And what news!
This card was left by a man
who did not want to say
who gave it to him.
They want to jump in the river!
They are crazy!
Crazy! In the Tiber!
Let's go to the police.
Good heavens! This is really absurd!
To jump in the river in this cold?
My mom would have never approved.
- Let's go to Lungotevere.
- What bridge? There are so many.
Couldn't we make an announcement
on the TV or the radio?
We could make it on the radio.
Something like,
"Tony, Rosalia. Come back home."
I will say…
That would take too long.
We need something quick.
"Come back home.
Your parents will forgive you."
Are you in favor of the marriage
that would nullify the crime?
- Of course.
- He must say it.
- He will not agree.
- Of course I forgive you. Come back.
Come back, dear. Come back to your father.
I will sing a lullaby for you again.
They will let us say that.
If my dad will not let us get married,
I will jump in the river.
Don't worry.
My mother will fix everything.
If they only knew
that we are in the attic…
Tony!
Do you care for me?
This is an absolute win!
Did you do it?
- A win!
- Really?
Not even Napoleon at Waterloo…
No… He lost there.
- Not even Napoleon when he won!
- What did my father say?
He has become like a sheep.
- He's ready to hug you.
- Mom, you're the best!
- Dad…
- Don't ever do such things again.
Where have you been all this time?
- In the attic.
- Just the two of you?
- We didn't suspect anything.
- I watched them strictly.
You planned all this.
I should have known!
Miss Rosalia didn't spend the night
with him alone?
Tony is a good man.
- Then I can…
- You can go. Say hi to your mom for me.
You did well, Mr. Engineer.
You will get the insurance
before this evening.
I'm already insured,
in case something happened.
You can set the world on fire! Goodbye.
This is Rosalia, the daughter of Caputo.
This is his car!
Here it is.
It's her! My true love!
- You found her!
- Still brand new.
- How did you recognize it?
- From Rosalia's picture.
They took it to do a heist
and then abandoned it.
- It's all new!
- Beautiful.
What? Half of it is missing!
- It's nothing.
- It crashed against a tank.
- A chariot.
- And you didn't see it?
This is why you need insurance.
If you don't want to worry,
you must get insurance.
Don't do this or you will break it.
Let's go upstairs to sign it.
You can say that I signed it a day before.
- Again?
- Go away!
You must sign it today.
I will sign it today!
- Don't break it. Let's go.
- All right.
BABY SINGER CONTEST
- Laura, you were so good!
- Thank you!
- Congratulations!
- Can I give you a kiss?
Of course. What else would you like?
- Can I meet the showgirl?
- Daniela, come here.
Shake hands. Goodbye, Laura.
- Who's next?
- Last participant. Carlo Bertozzini.
Let him come in.
- Good evening, Mr. Pippo Baudo.
- Good evening.
- What are you doing here?
- I'm here for the contest.
- But you're not the right age.
- I know the song!
I'm not the age to love you
You are too old for this contest.
It's only for children.
- Mr. Pippo Baudo…
- Tell me.
- You're so tall…
- Go ahead.
When I was young I used to sing.
You can't participate in this contest.
Let me participate in another contest.
- You?
- Tell me the tunes, I answer…
- We can make an agreement…
- Please…
- Are you alone or with the dog?
- With the dog. He knows every tune.
On Sunday morning,
when you perform those tunes,
he guesses them all with his tail.
Marcoffio is a great fan of yours.
He has a picture of you in his doghouse.
He looks at it and falls asleep.
- Give him a kiss!
- Please!
What are you doing here?
- I escorted someone.
- Finally!
Do I have play the piano accompaniment?
- You came here with a child?
- Yes, I brought my nephew, Carletto.
Make sure that he wins
because his father wants him to.
If he is good, he will win.
He must win because his father is crazy
and said that if he doesn't win,
he'll come here and kill everybody.
- Who?
- You.
- Are you crazy?
- I'm willing to give you…
The audience is watching us.
Put down your hand, please.
Please, Mr. Marcoffio.
- Leave. Goodbye.
- My nephew must win.
Filiberto, can I be less formal?
It's an honor for me.
No, you keep being formal with me.
The insurance agent and the customer
should be formal.
This insurance includes
theft, fire, civil liability…
Whatever happens to you,
with this insurance you're covered.
- How much is this?
- 54,800 lira.
- No less.
- Can it be…
Sighing… Breathing…
- What?
- Installments.
- Speak properly.
- I do.
Between you and the TV,
I can't understand anything!
Of course he has to blame the TV.
I'm always his victim.
Filippo took Carletto to the movies.
Rosalia and Tony went skiing.
And I slave all day
and I can't even watch some TV!
Enjoy yourself. You don't bother us.
Come in here.
It's the Baby Singer Contest.
That's nice!
Your head is always around me,
full of hair, mustache and teeth!
- What are you going to sing?
- "Zum Zum Zum."
- That child looks like Carletto!
- Really.
He looks like him.
That's your child!
He got an F in singing!
- And he's entered a singing contest!
- It runs in his blood!
The song I have in my mind
I don't know what it is
Or where I heard it
But I'm sure it goes…
He has my voice.
I sang it this morning
As soon as I woke up
And I was thinking that it isn't bad
Especially the part that goes
Zum Zum Zum
If it carries on like this
It will end up that this song
Will become such an obsession
That when I talk sometimes I'll go
The song I have in my mind
I don't know what it is
Or where I heard it
But I'm sure that it goes
Zum Zum Zum
The more I think about it
The more I think it was a choir
A choir of kids
That were singing in a schoolyard
And they kept on repeating
Zum Zum Zum
Not bad!
Shut up, I want to hear who wins.
- Hi.
- Hello.
- The yeti has arrived!
- Do you know who's on TV?
- The match?
- No, Carletto.
- Your brother.
- He's singing on TV.
- Really?
- He never liked singing.
Silence!
They are announcing the winner.
- Good evening.
- Good evening.
Here is the winner
of the Baby Singer Contest.
The winner by majority
is Carletto Bertozzini!
You win 50 golden coins
that Daniela will give you now.
Who taught you to sing like that?
- My teacher, Sister Teresa.
- Good.
- Can I give a kiss?
- To me?
- No, to Daniela!
- Sure.
Say hello to Marcoffio, your uncle,
and Sister Teresa for me!
Ladies and gentlemen,
this contest is over.
Goodnight from Pippo Baudo.
- These are for Ferruccio.
- He brought you magazines.
- Come on.
- For you…
- For you…
- Give it to her.
I have something else
so you can take Ferruccio
to that far away place
where that doctor can cure him.
That can cure him.
Take them. It's the coins he won
at the singing contest.
The first toast is to the lucky couple.
No more fake kidnappings
and fake suicides!
And the second toast
for our little singer!
We need a double toast for him.
Because he won the contest
and did a good deed.
Why I don't get to drink?
You will toast with the orange juice!
Ferruccio left some days ago.
When will he get the surgery?
- This morning at eight.
- It was three here.
- Let's hope everything went well.
- I'll go.
- What time is it?
- It's 12:30.
- He already had the surgery.
- A telegram from abroad.
This is a telegram for Carlo.
- This is for you.
- You read it, Dad.
No, you read it. You're a grown up now.
"The surgery went well.
I'll be back in school soon."
"Next to you! Thank you.
Your friend, Ferruccio Vincenzi."
My sweet Carletto!
What a brother I have!
Ferruccio is fine!
Carletto!
- See that the Lord helped us?
- Are you crying?
- We must be happy.
- Let's have a toast.
Uncle Filippo and Marcoffio are missing.
He's never here when you need him!
- What?
- Marcoffio is a female dog!
Puppies!
Now I have an even bigger family.
I will have to support them all.
- Give them to us.
- Yes!
It must have happened to you too
To have a song stuck in your head
To listen to some kind of orchestra
That keeps on playing
Zum Zum Zum
The song that I have in my mind
I don't know what it is
Or where I heard it
But I'm sure it goes
I sang it this morning
As soon as I woke up
And I was thinking that it isn't so bad
Especially in the part that goes
Zum Zum Zum
If it carries on like this
It will end up that this song
Will become such an obsession
That when I talk sometimes I'll go
The song I have in my mind
THE END
and I go out on the balcony.
When the young lady passes by,
I play a chord in F.
Then I sing this little song
which can sadden her.
Fli-ppò, Fli-ppò, Fli-ppò, Fli-ppò.
Spring flower!
The woman has hair on top of her heart.
I wouldn't take her as a wife
even if the doctor orders me to.
My word, my word of honor!
Other times.
The good old days…
Here she is!
I was starting to get worried.
Why did my wife start to sing late today?
She is so good!
She could go on all day.
Lindoro will be mine.
I swore
I'll win.
Parapà parapà.
To be honest,
marriage really held me back.
I was the king of comedy.
I was magnificent.
But then I settled down,
married and had children.
She'll laugh, she'll laugh, she'll laugh.
This is my firstborn singing.
She'll laugh, she'll laugh.
Isn't that the royal march?
He sings, he works
and brings no money home.
What does he buy?
Tailcoats, scarves of every color,
he goes to the hairdresser…
Here comes the parasite of this house,
my brother-in-law Filippo.
He's a jobless vagabond.
He likes to sing too,
but he prefers light opera.
He adores The Merry Widow.
He just walked the dog,
the second parasite of this house.
It's also full of parasites itself!
I feed them all.
See how he takes care of the dog?
He's the only one in this family
who doesn't sing.
My son Carletto, he's six years old.
He doesn't sing
and doesn't want to hear us sing.
Once I saw that he was wearing earplugs.
- Good morning.
- Thank you.
Thank you.
How many coffees do you take?
- One wasn't enough?
- Peppino, it's just a coffee.
You know that my brother needs
three cups of coffee.
Why does he wake up for?
He'd be better off sleeping all day,
this hero of national laziness.
That's enough.
Never mind, Tosca.
He just wants to humiliate me.
- You're something else.
- How many things do I do for free?
- Like?
- I take Carletto to school.
I pick Carletto up from school.
- Then I get the newspaper.
- And never bring the change back.
- They don't give it to me.
- You're either dumb or a liar.
- Now you care about change too?
- Let him talk.
- I have big shoulders.
- He's giving milk to the dog.
- You care about two drops of milk?
- I better leave.
I have to walk 20 kilometers because,
in order to support all of you,
I can't buy a car, not even a used one.
I always have to walk!
Why does your husband hate me?
Uncle Filippo! Let's go, it's late.
I can't even eat.
"Take Carletto to school, pick him up…"
I want to leave.
- Will you leave?
- Yes, but then I'll be back.
Let's go, it's late.
I heard you like guys with a quiff
That you like guys like me
I grew my hair to make you look at me
Now my friends laugh at my hairdo
I don't wear short hair anymore
Because I wanted to surprise you
And have you every day with me
Now, with this hairdo
How many girls would like to date me?
And you pretend not to look at me
And I can't date you
I heard you like guys with a quiff
That you like guys like me
Now you laugh at my hair
And don't want to hang out with me
Now, with this hairdo
How many girls would like to date me?
And you pretend not to look at me
And I can't date you
I heard you like guys with a quiff
That you like guys like me
Now why do you laugh at my hair
And not want to hang out with me?
Mom, I'm going out.
I don't know if I'll be back for lunch.
- Why?
- I have lots of customers.
- They all want me.
- Customers in mini skirts!
Is it my fault
if you made me so beautiful?
Pay attention, miss.
First, second, blinker, stop!
- Is this your love for Rosalia?
- I'm serious with her.
- Bye.
- Bye.
- Is Rosalia home?
- Yes, I'll call her.
Don't keep her too long.
I'm just back from the newspaper.
- She's making me breakfast.
- No, don't worry.
Wait.
Rosalia, behave.
Tony wants to say hi to you.
Behave! Come in, Tony.
- Hi.
- Hi, Tony.
Mr. Caputo, I came to say
we'd like to go to the movies tonight.
I'd like to go too,
but I need to go to the newspaper.
At ten o'clock.
Lia and I could go by ourselves.
We need to understand each other.
I want you to call my daughter
by her full name. Rosalia.
You can go to the movies alone
when you're be married.
Is this crystal clear?
You could come over to watch TV
until Dad leaves for work.
It's the same story.
No, tonight
they're broadcasting a new show.
- Very nice.
- I'm going to work.
- I'm going to sleep.
- Rest well, Mr. Caputo.
Bye, Tony.
You could have let me go to the movies.
- Hands to yourself.
- He's a good guy.
He's a good guy, but he's broke.
He doesn't have a lot of money.
Luigi is also courting you and he's rich.
He has stocks, buildings, shops…
You have to marry him.
Dad, I want to marry for love.
I'd like it was love…
One can die of love
while you could live well with money.
Even Pirandello said so.
Go get me a chamomile tea. I'm nervous.
- Go.
- Yes, Dad.
I must be a mother and a father for her.
And when she gets married,
even a mother-in-law!
- Good morning, Mr. Luigi.
- This is a bad day for me.
- Mom and I are very upset.
- Is something wrong?
Don't be a fool.
Mom said that in this building,
the stairs are always dirty.
I'm sorry, but your mother can't say that.
- I'm always holding a broom.
- Look at what I have to show you.
- Look.
- Do you collect cigarette butts?
Don't be funny!
I got this to show it to you.
Do you want me to follow everyone and say,
"don't throw your cigarette here"?
- Good morning.
- How are you?
- Fine. And you?
- I'm fine, thank you.
- Also my mom is fine.
- I'm glad.
Let me guess. You're going to Forconi.
That is one of our shops.
I go there every month
to collect the rent.
You see, I have my mother's full trust.
You're a golden boy.
It will be a lucky woman who marries you.
You tell me that?
I'd light two candles for Saint Gennaro
if you'd be that lucky girl!
Also Mom agrees!
- Good morning, Sister Agnese.
- Hurry up, kids!
Good morning.
- Good morning.
- Hurry, it's late.
You're all here.
Ferruccio Vincenzi is absent.
He's seriously ill.
I don't think he'll be back this year.
Last lesson we talked about the Earth.
The Earth is?
- You answer.
- The Earth is dirty.
What do you mean?
When I play outside, Mom always says,
"The earth is dirty."
You answer, Marti.
- The Earth is round.
- Now you understand?
Yes, but it's dirty!
Silence, children. Silence.
Today the lesson will be longer than usual
but it will be fun
because today we will sing.
- Do you like to sing?
- Yes!
Silence! Singing should be a subject
in every school.
What's wrong, Carletto?
I'm happy when I come to school
because I'm away from my house,
where everybody sings.
I don't want to sing.
How come you don't like to sing?
Even birds sing.
I want to be a hunter!
- Vittorio.
- Coming.
Did you go validate Bonotti's license?
No, I spent all day with the students.
- Tony?
- Hasn't arrived yet.
That's wonderful!
Decide which one of you should go
because I promised we'd do it.
Who's there?
Should I write the city?
- What city?
- A city must always be Capital.
For example, Rome is always the capital!
- Would you do a chore for me?
- What is it?
Go validate the driving licenses.
You heard Mr. Ignazio…
What?
When we have to wash the cars,
you always say it isn't your job,
and the same about the drawings.
- Today I say this isn't my duty.
- You're an artist, Chamomile.
Call me Enrico, not Chamomile.
Enrico, will you go?
- Hi, Chamomile.
- Stop calling me that.
- I am more awake than you.
- Careful, he bites.
- Here they come.
- These are yours.
As usual. I'm going.
Please, the car is ready.
All monsters to me.
- Are you my friend?
- Why?
- I must tell you a secret.
- What?
When I wake up, I'm already tired.
- It must be a nervous breakdown.
- What does that mean?
Is anyone here?
Later.
- Good morning.
- I'm sorry, I'm late.
- I had an appointment at nine.
- The car is outside. Let's go.
- Mr. Ignazio, I'm going out.
- Miss Antarelli, is it you?
- This is the fourth lesson.
- Yes.
Wait for two other students.
She's in a hurry.
Her boyfriend is coming from Milan.
All right. Wait, Tony.
You're good with the car.
Now let's see with the go-cart.
Is anyone here?
Please, give us two go-carts.
If you want to ride one,
you must wear the uniform.
- Go, your niece will wait here.
- I'll be back.
You have a lovely job.
These little cars are so nice.
If you knew how many sacrifices it took
to make these little cars go.
The other day I was on the highway
at around 120 kilometers per hour,
when this guy starts tailing me.
I speed up a little more. I'm at 170kph.
And he was always behind me.
So I thought he wanted to race.
So I put the pedal to the metal.
180, 190, 200…
So he gets next to me…
And then he starts to fly.
It was an helicopter. I broke the engine.
Hey, you're very tall.
You could be a soldier!
Why do you like him?
- He seems nice.
- Nice? With that quiff!
Do you need a roof for when it rains?
Would you like to come out with me?
We could take a ride in my car.
I could take you
to Latina, Pomezia, Sabaudia.
- And we could lose control of ourselves…
- Paolo!
I'm busy!
Once in Sabaudia
we lose control of ourselves…
Where?
Who are you?
What do you want? Go!
Hidden in your world
You lose another day
Careful, baby, you have become a girl now
Every woman needs a man around her
All night I bang my head
To not think about you
You live in the world of your dreams
Tick-tock, time is ticking
Soon you'll wake up
And tick-tock
One day you'll fall in love
Knock-knock
You'll knock at this heart of mine
And then who knows if I'll still want you
Careful, baby, you have become a girl now
Every woman needs a man around her
If a cat can see at night
I can see in your heart
You're playing too much with love
Tick-tock, time is ticking
Soon you'll wake up
And tick-tock
One day you'll fall in love
Knock-knock
You'll knock at this heart of mine
And then who knows if I'll still want you
Careful, baby, you have become a girl now
Every woman needs a man around her
Tick-tock, time is ticking
Soon you'll wake up
Tick-tock, one day you'll fall in love
Knock-knock
You'll knock at this heart of mine
And then who knows if I'll still want you
Perticaroni brought in a mouse.
- Alive?
- No, dead.
And he put it in Pellegrino's backpack.
- Who is he?
- His sister has acne.
When Pellegrino opened the backpack
and saw the mouse, he started to scream.
Sister Teresa ran over
but when she saw the mouse,
she started to scream as well!
Ferruccio, don't get too excited.
Thank Carletto
for bringing you all these magazines.
Now rest.
Soon you will have to take your medicine.
Say goodbye to your friend.
Bye. Come back soon.
- When will you come to school again?
- I don't know. Bye.
- Thank you for coming.
- What did the doctor say?
The only doctor
who could help my son is far away.
- He is in Cape Town.
- Why so far?
He works there.
You need an airplane to go there.
You need more than half a million.
You don't have it?
No, we don't.
Thank you for coming. Come back soon.
- Bye, Carletto. Goodbye.
- Goodbye. Let's go.
Mom!
You're getting my car dirty!
- It's new!
- Is it yours?
- So we can get it wet.
- Only when it rains.
- Good morning.
- Good morning, Mr. Bertozzini.
My car is the eighth wonder of the world!
- It's brand new! Was it expensive?
- It cost an arm and a leg.
I used all my savings
but today is Saint Rosalia's Day.
- I bought her a gift.
- It'll be two years until I get a license.
You can come to my workplace by bus
and then I'll take you home in the car.
Would you like
to get some insurance on it?
- Careful!
- It's not made of paper!
I'd say two million for the passenger
and five for civil liability.
- Fifteen million for disasters.
- What? No disasters…
With the insurance that I offer you,
you can get insurance that would cover
the death of a minister or an actor.
With the insurance
that I'm proposing to you,
if you hit Marlon Brando
you wouldn't pay one cent.
Marlon Brando is there
and you can spit on him.
- How much would it be?
- 100,000 lira a year.
Marlon Brando can live happily, then,
because I'm not getting insurance.
Mr. Caputo, it's important
to be insured against theft.
- That's right.
- I've got an alarm.
We'll talk about it
at the end of the year.
- Wait until I get my bonus.
- What if they steal it before then?
What are you doing?
Are you jinxing me?
- Good morning, Mr. Caputo.
- Hello.
I just rang your bell and no one answered.
The porter told me that you were here.
I looked at the calendar.
Today is Saint Rosalia's Day.
Therefore I decided, together with my mom,
to give Rosalia this humble gift.
- Thank you.
- Your kindness moves us. Thank you!
Please thank your honorable mother,
Mrs. Laura.
Are you done? Are you going to think
about getting insurance?
- I have to think about it?
- You should think about it.
It would be a shame
if such a nice car got wrecked.
You're being superstitious,
but thieves do steal.
- The hand?
- Later.
If you want to come upstairs,
we'll offer you something.
Thank you.
If I can reciprocate your courtesy…
Tomorrow evening
there will be a party at the newspaper.
- You can bring your mother as well.
- Will Miss Rosalia be there?
- Sure.
- What about the Bertozzinis?
Yes, they are always invited.
They are our neighbors!
Tosca!
My slippers!
- The worker arrives! Where have you been?
- With a sick friend of mine.
Kiss your father. Go, go. I knew it…
That is a monument to the loyal dog!
- I don't want lice.
- You have lice?
- Not me, him!
- Marcoffio?
Have some patience.
Don't harass him all the time.
Don't worry.
- I don't care.
- You just care about food.
When my customers come here,
they leave full of lice.
- Someone complained!
- It's Bonetti.
He came wearing white and left all black.
Damn you!
No, I didn't mean you.
I was cursing
because I banged my knee
on the foot of… the table.
Yes, tomorrow you will get all the papers.
Yes, tomorrow at noon.
Thank you, and excuse me for what I said.
Thank you. Listen, this is what I say.
This house is full of ashtrays.
There's one everywhere you look.
And you make me burn my foot!
- Some people burn themselves alive.
- Am I one of them?
Can you please stop? You, go away.
- I'm leaving.
- Just go.
He even sings!
Can you give me my slippers?
Here they are.
Now we can't even sing in here.
You get bothered even if we sing.
That is so rude!
- If only I could have kept singing.
- "Marriage held me back."
"Not even Callas sang Norma like I did."
- Isn't that right?
- Marriage held me back as well.
Let's speak frankly. When I got married,
I had a contract as first male voice
for a famous theater show.
Me in front and all the boys behind me.
- Split, lifting leg, tip toe…
- Give me a break.
Of course you wanted to settle down
and start a family.
- Didn't we have children?
- Yes, three.
- Two.
- Three. One is an adult with a dog.
What did that poor man do to you?
Let him talk. One day he'll have
to repent for what he did to me.
- Listen, damn you.
- Calm down!
Leave me alone!
- Mom!
- That wine is generous.
- Can we eat? I'm hungry.
- What are you looking for?
- For the school insurance.
- You think about that.
- Time passed and you forgot.
- About what?
Today is Saint Rosalia's Day.
- Saint Rosalia?
- The stars were shining.
I have to think about everything.
Don't worry.
Luigi Monticelli took care of everything.
He got a nice gift for your girlfriend.
Peppino! Filippo!
He got her a nice gift, huh?
Hello?
This is the florist.
Good morning, Luigino. How are you?
Mom told me to prepare 12 red roses.
- Actually, let's do 24.
- All right.
Those with a long stem.
- Baccarat.
- Exactly, baccarat roses.
A friend of mine
will come to pick them up.
Put them on Mom's tab.
She'll come to pay tomorrow.
Don't worry.
We do a quick and wonderful job.
Thank you.
- What time is it?
- Midnight.
- Already?
- I don't understand a Swiss watch.
I don't understand you!
Tony, what took you so long?
Let's hurry. If the movie has
already started, I can't understand it.
- I'm not going to the movies.
- Tickets are cheaper today.
- Today is Saint Rosalia's Day.
- And yesterday was Saint Clelia's Day.
- Rosalia is my girlfriend.
- You'll go with her.
- I must give her a floral gift.
- What does that mean?
I'll tell you later. Please, go…
- Vittorio, go to the florist.
- What for?
To pick up the roses
that Miss Monticelli ordered.
- What did you do?
- Nothing, just go.
- I'll go then.
- What should I do?
You must wake up.
Dominique with his simplicity
Works in poverty
He goes everywhere to talk about the Lord
To talk about the Lord
He goes through seas and mountains
To preach
To preach about doing good
Dominique with his simplicity
Works in poverty
He goes everywhere to talk about the Lord
To talk about the Lord
In the morning he goes to pray
He starts to walk at dawn
Dominique with his simplicity
Works in poverty
He goes everywhere to talk about the Lord
To talk about the Lord
Walking in bare feet
To pay homage to humility
Before sunrise he goes to the city
Dominique with his simplicity
Works in poverty
He goes everywhere to talk about the Lord
To talk about the Lord
In front of his people
He raises his hands to the sky
And he prays to the Lord
With all his heart
Dominique with his simplicity
Works in poverty
He goes everywhere to talk about the Lord
To talk about the Lord
Those who listen to him
Fall down on their feet
They cry, they convert themselves
To saintly charity
Dominique with his simplicity
Works in poverty
He goes everywhere to talk about the Lord
To talk about the Lord
Thank you,
but now I'd like to applaud you.
Now it's your turn to sing.
- Let's start with the choir.
- I won't sing.
- You can sing in the choir.
- No.
Let's sing a beautiful song all together.
Please, don't make me sing.
I don't want to.
- I will not sing.
- Why you don't want to sing?
Family reasons.
Your report card will reflect that.
Rosalia, behave yourself. Come in, Tony.
- Tony!
- Happy name day!
Thank you, they are gorgeous. How many?
- Just 24.
- I'm twice as happy.
Someone said you'd forget about it.
Me?
I've been thinking about it for a week.
Sit down, Tony. Tonight we must have fun.
They are showing The Two Orphans tonight.
I want to see it all.
- What fun!
- Right!
Tonight we can stay longer,
because I can drive to work.
Did you buy a car?
I'm happy!
You didn't see it downstairs?
It's brand new.
- It's all blue.
- Nice!
Excuse me.
I want to look at the jewelry shop. Come.
- Come, Luigi.
- Yes, Mom.
- Did you like the roses I sent to you?
- What roses?
Those that Luigi ordered.
- Are you crazy? I didn't do it.
- Explain yourself.
Yesterday Mr. Luigi ordered
24 roses with long stems.
- The best that I had!
- He dreamt about it!
- How much?
- 5,000 lira each, so 120,000 lira.
- I know nothing about this.
- Come or I'll slap you!
You got an F in singing.
This is crazy!
A Bertozzini gets an F in singing!
No, this is insane.
I'll throw myself out the window!
- Don't say that!
- Let him do it.
Once I'm dead,
what will you and Marcoffio eat?
I meant that you're right
for yelling at the kid.
Why does no one ever understand me here?
- Excuse me, then, you and Marcoffio.
- Nonsense!
A poor man works day and night
and this is what he gets in return.
- Why this bad grade?
- I didn't sing.
If it was playing soccer,
you would have accepted.
Yes, Dad.
When I grow up I want to play soccer.
Two, four, six, eight,
meet me at the golden gate.
If I'm late, don't wait,
two, four, six, eight!
Can we play soccer?
Now we're going to sing a song. Come.
Don't run.
Do you know Zum Zum Zum?
Who wrote bad things about me?
Sure. Do you mind?
Miss Rosalia…
Tell me, what do you think about it?
- About?
- I've been telling you all evening.
You don't listen to me.
That song that you bought
and you want to sing for me?
I didn't buy it, I wrote it for you.
It's called "Miss Rosalia." that's you.
It's an homage to your beauty.
But this place is full of people.
They won't let you sing here.
Do you think so? See who's there?
My mom came as well.
You don't know this,
but she is one of the main shareholders
of this newspaper.
Wait.
- Mom, can I sing a song?
- Yes, I'll take care of it.
- My son would like to sing a song.
- He's the boss here.
- That jerk would like to sing.
- Yes, right away.
- Excuse me.
- See?
Ladies and gentlemen,
and now a pleasant break.
Luigi Monticelli will sing a song
that he wrote
called "Miss Rosalia."
Miss Rosalia, I'm not lying
You are my whole life
Miss Rosalia, if you won't be mine
I'll do something crazy
Miss Rosalia, you're music and poetry
Sugar and a pastry
Only you can give me happiness
And my mother agrees as well
I talked to your father
And explained my feelings…
Do you see him? He's serenading you.
I'll take you home and we'll have a party
Only you can give me happiness
And my mother agrees as well
And my mother agrees as well
Actually, I'm done.
Well done!
Your son sings very well.
He's so cute!
- Did you like my serenade?
- You were banging!
- What?
- You were a bomb!
Please allow me a dance with Miss Rosalia.
It's an honor. Go dance.
And behave yourself.
Rome is wonderful but I prefer Venice.
Have you ever been there?
It's a wonderful city.
Maybe a little melancholic.
- What do you mean?
- Decadent.
It is so dear to me,
it gives me goosebumps.
Yes, I had that too! The mumps!
- Do you work here?
- Kind of.
- You're kind of cute!
- I work in the ads department.
You mean the: AAA.
I'm short but handsome,
broke but I have an apartment.
- When can we see each other?
- You're going too fast!
Come, Carletto. Don't move.
- Why so late?
- You know how it is.
Mom changed eight times,
and he fed the dog.
- Shall we dance?
- Yes.
I was dancing with Rosalia,
I turn and she is gone.
Dumb!
Eat as much as you can.
That way you won't eat at home
and Peppino won't get upset.
Let's feed the dog as well. You eat too.
I'm going to see Mr. Caputo.
- Mrs. Bertozzini.
- Mr. Caputo.
- Your husband promised to come.
- He's in the twilight.
He told me that he had so much work to do.
But the truth is
that he doesn't care to dance anymore.
If I can have the honor…
- Why not?
- Can I?
It's the age.
Are you having fun?
I was having fun before,
when I was dancing with Miss Rosalia.
But she prefers to dance with Tony.
Do you know
that Luigino sang a song for me?
- He sang a song for you?
- Yes.
- I'll take care of that.
- Tony, never mind!
Do you know "Queen of Spades"?
Get in with the chorus.
I sinned, I know
I'll never do it again
I won't make anyone suffer anymore
I feel guilty
But the sin of keep on loving you
I know I'll keep on doing it
My conscience can't repent
Because I want you so
-I want you all the time
-Every night
-This sin of mine
-It's hell
-I know it will take me
-To hell
But this life of mine
Is hell without you
-I miss you so much
-At night
-I die of jealousy
-Every night
This poor heart of mine
A crone read my future
Every card would cry for me
There was always the Queen of Spades
She looks like you
But the sin of keep on loving you
I know I'll keep on doing it
My conscience can't repent
Because I want you so
-I want you all the time
-Every night
I want you all the time
-This sin of mine
-It's hell
-I know it will take me
-To hell
But this life of mine
Is hell without you
-I miss you so much
-At night
-I die of jealousy
-Every night
This poor heart of mine
Poor heart of mine
A crone read my future
Every card would cry for me
There was always the Queen of Spades
She looks like you
A crone read my future
Every card would cry for me
There was always the Queen of Spades
She looks like you
A crone read my future
What would it cost you?
My honesty. That's what it would cost me.
What if I signed the paper yesterday?
You should have signed it yesterday.
- There's no more time now.
- Blood of Judas!
Please, you'll wake up the child.
- I sacrificed so much to get that car.
- Really?
- Let's talk about this.
- What were we doing until now?
- We were upset.
- You, not me.
- Can I sign it now?
- Do you understand?
He's so smart!
He wants to sign it now and pretend
that we signed it this morning,
so the insurance will pay
for his stolen car.
- Could you do it?
- I could agree to this trick.
I could do it.
But I won't.
- Why?
- It's a question of conscience.
- Really?
- What do you have to say about it?
Over some stupid concern,
you put our friendship under your feet.
Don't worry.
My concerns aren't stupid, silly or dumb.
They are honest concerns!
- No!
- Very good.
At the police station, they said
that 100 cars were stolen today.
What were they supposed to do?
They were supposed
to send all cars out to find mine?
- Enough with this stamp!
- I'm doing my job!
It was brand new!
The policemen told me
that they'll find it in a couple of days.
- Maybe without the tires.
- Can you do me this favor?
- Help this poor man.
- He's no poor man. He's a rascal.
You'll repent those words!
I swear to God that you'll pay for this!
- Don't do this.
- Let him leave.
If I see you around my daughter,
I'll cut your head open!
He's Sicilian!
- What do you have to say about it?
- Just that you're Sicilian.
- Mr. Caputo…
- He's a Sicilian rascal!
- You made him upset.
- You got another coat.
And I keep on stamping!
Stop crying!
We invited Luigi to lunch,
not to a funeral.
What's Tony got to do with it?
You argued with his father.
What? They are a terrible family.
That's Luigi.
Get Tony out of your head
and think about him.
Behave.
- Dear Luigi.
- Dear Mr. Caputo.
Come in.
- Miss Rosalia…
- Good evening.
Let me offer you some good wine.
- I bought it.
- I'm so glad!
- It costs 1,000 lira a liter.
- I'll drink just a drop.
Drink, there's plenty. A liter.
How wonderful!
How nice of you to invite me for lunch.
We made you a Sicilian meal.
Spaghetti with anchovies.
I can smell it! Sit down. Here it comes.
A little more.
Hand me your plate.
A little bit for you as well.
If you don't mind, I'll eat here.
- Where?
- Here.
- Of course.
- Is it good?
Delicious!
- You're not eating?
- I don't want to.
I understand you.
I mean, when they stole my mom's car,
she didn't eat for six months!
When I hear talk about cars,
I can't eat anymore.
- Why?
- What?
- I don't know.
- I can't eat anymore.
I will not love anymore
You leave when you know that I still
Love you
Even though in the world
Lots of people are suffering like me
I know that my sorrow is bigger
Because I'm losing you
Tears are falling on my face
My hands are trying to reach you
But you're going away
Is it my fault
If I don't have all the things
That you want?
Maybe you'll have them from someone
That will never be worth something
To you
You will never find someone
That will love you more than I do
One day you'll have nothing but silence
Tears are falling down my face
Like a tree loses the greenest leaves
I'm losing you
Tears
I can do nothing else but cry
And it's all my fault
Because I can't give you more than I do
You will smile
Even without me
Even without me
Even without me
Let's go. The Baby Singer Contest.
How much is 50 golden coins?
- It's almost half a million.
- I'd like to participate.
You can't sing.
You can't enter the Baby Singer Contest.
You need 5,000 lira
to get into the contest.
I have the change
that I never gave back to your father.
We can use that. I'll talk to Pippo Baudo.
I know him well.
I see him every Sunday on TV!
Let's go and enroll
in the Baby Singer Contest!
Is your father sleeping?
I must talk to you.
- Did Tony send you here?
- No, my son is stupid.
Why?
How can it be that I had the idea
and you didn't?
Blue eyes, pretty nose,
this is your permit.
- Can I drive with this?
- Never alone.
- OK.
- Hemingway.
Where are you going without me?
Mr. Ignazio, everything is fine.
Tomorrow some students
are taking their exams.
- Will you take care of them?
- I have to go to the DMV.
- I will send Tony. Where is he?
- He will arrive soon.
- He's always late. Here, read.
- Thank you.
Thank you.
- Who's that?
- Hey, Caravaggio!
- I'm studying the candle.
- I saw it already.
- Where?
- On your grandpa's grave!
- Enrico, Vittorio.
- What are you doing here?
- Where's Tony?
- He'll be here soon.
- Let's hope he won't be late.
- Why? What happened?
I need you all to do something.
DRIVING SCHOOL
- Rosalia…
- I must talk to you.
- Tell Mr. Ignazio…
- We are coming too.
- Too.
- Don't copy me.
Tony, take me home.
We don't have time to spare.
- Come on.
- Let's go.
Aren't you coming?
- You said I shouldn't copy you.
- Move!
What time is it?
- Midday.
- Cuckoo.
- Then I was right.
- No, you're cuckoo! It's almost time.
Do we have to drag her into the car?
What if she screams?
Of course she will scream!
She will kick you and slap you.
- I'll punch her.
- Good.
She's about to come out.
You know what to do.
- Crouch.
- What?
Crouch! Do that!
I will start the car,
and slowly come closer.
You will get the girl, throw her in
and I will drive away with her.
- Hurry, people are coming out.
- Where should I go?
- To hell!
- I don't want to!
- It won't start! Did you fill it up?
- What for?
- To go.
- Where?
- To hell!
- I don't want to!
- Why are you stopping?
- No, I'm not stopping at all.
- I thought you stopped.
- Let's go.
- We should go that way.
- No, this way is better.
- Should I push?
- No, just go.
Take her!
- Hurry!
- Here they are.
- Let's take these two for us.
- You got the ugliest ones!
- Get Rosalia!
- I'll kidnap her and come back.
Come back with Rosalia.
Not him! Her…
- What do you want?
- Come on, let's go.
- She's beating me up!
- Get her and let's go!
- I don't understand…
- Let go of me!
This guy is trying to kidnap my sister!
That umbrella is a gift from my mom!
- Beat him up!
- Beat him up!
I know who you are! I'll send you to jail!
I swear on my honor that I will kill you!
- Have mercy!
- Let him do it.
- You're so rude!
- A dog that barks doesn't bite.
Don't kill anyone in our building.
My mom would get upset about it.
Wait a second.
Are you sure that it was my son?
I didn't see Tony
but I saw the guy who took her
and he was a friend of Tony.
He kidnapped her!
I will kill everyone!
What do you want? Be patient.
Kidnapping for marriage
is normal in Sicily.
- Funerals as well!
- What do you know?
He is a rascal and is also stubborn!
You don't know how to reason.
I'll go to the police station to declare
that a minor was kidnapped.
I'm going to report
a breaking and entering.
Report a homicide as well! Let go of me!
- Good evening.
- Good evening.
I would like…
A room… Two rooms.
Two rooms.
Would you like them to be adjoining?
- What?
- Adjoining.
- No.
- Yes.
- Two rooms.
- Close to each other.
- No.
- Yes.
- What about luggage?
- What?
You didn't bring any suitcases.
We are staying just one night.
Just one night. I see.
You know nothing. Do you have two rooms?
I do. Do you have your ID?
- What?
- Your ID.
- I have it, but my sister forgot hers.
- Your sister…
Your sister forgot her ID.
What a coincidence!
How old?
- Twenty-two.
- Sixteen.
Bingo! I think she's 16. Young man…
I see. I have been around.
Go away.
Thank God that I'm not calling the police.
Come on. Let's go.
A detective story.
A Grave for the Spy. I read it.
A good ending.
- Don't tell me, please.
- No, I'm not going to tell you…
What are you doing? You're a rascal!
- I'm out of gas.
- You should have thought about that.
I had gas. But we drove all around town!
- Where can we go now?
- We can only sleep in the car.
No, we have to spend the night
under the same roof.
Where should I take you, then?
You kidnapped me.
You have to think about it.
- Let's go to Enrico's.
- Chamomile?
Yes. That's the bus stop. Let's go.
The wall. I'm coming!
Well…
How cold! One moment.
I'm coming. Who is it?
- Wake up, it's me.
- What do you want?
Two beds to sleep.
They are all taken.
Enrico, what happened?
Oh, my God! My father woke up.
- And also the kids.
- I'll go talk to your father.
Go.
Careful not to wake up the boys.
They'll beat you up!
Who are they?
Did this family get bigger?
Mr. Moricone, this is an emergency.
Can you host us for tonight?
Where could I put you?
There are a lot of us.
- Busy!
- Grandpa sleeps in the bathroom.
In the kitchen…
Dad sleeps in the kitchen.
- Mom sleeps in there with the kids.
- How many of you are there?
- Many.
- More!
I understand. Let's go.
Dad…
At least we'll stay warm.
Try to sleep. Tomorrow we'll go home.
I'm happy until tomorrow morning.
Guys, this isn't a dormitory.
- This is the waiting room.
- The station is closing up.
- What are the hours?
- It closes at 1:00.
- We can't stay here?
- Not after 1:00.
Careful, baby
Sorry.
- Look who's here.
- Hi, Grandpa.
Hi.
This is another one.
- This is my girlfriend.
- You had that tall girl, no?
- She's a student at the school.
- A student?
What a rascal!
I like this one better.
The other one was too tall.
I don't like tall girls.
This one is cute. She looks like a doll.
Paolo, the phone.
Careful, baby Careful, baby
Paolo!
Can you leave me alone?
You are always calling me!
Good evening.
Careful, baby Careful, baby
What do you want? Are you following me?
I'll call the police. Scram!
- What a scare! Two drinks.
- One?
- Two.
- All right.
Where did Canfora go?
Canfora!
Even here?
- What will we do now?
- I don't know. We tried everything.
- What an idea you had.
- Now you're getting upset.
Of course! I'm going to get in trouble.
- Tony…
- Don't cry. You make me nervous.
- Tony…
- Let's pretend that it was just a joke.
- Let's go home.
- I'm not going home.
I will.
Tony!
Tonight I repent with all my heart
For the mistake of leaving you
Instead of all that I have lost
All I have is just regret
Love blooms one time and never again
Those who are in love
Share whatever they have
One day you cried all alone
For me this is the day
And I feel cold all around me
That only the fire of love can warm up
Tonight I repent with all my heart
Please, come back to me
Like a small drop
Consumes the hardest rock
Tonight my tears are consuming my heart
And also for me today is the day
And I feel cold all around me
That only the fire of love can warm up
Tonight I repent with all my heart
Please, come back to me
Like a small drop
Consumes the hardest rock
Tonight my tears are consuming my heart
Tonight I repent
With all my heart
In Sicily, when they do this,
where do they take girls?
- I don't know.
- This was your idea.
- No, it was your mother's.
- My mother?
My mother will have to help us. Come.
My mom would like an update.
I would have called the police.
It's a kidnapping.
My mom thinks
that they spent the night together.
Who will marry that girl now?
If they spent the night together,
Tony will marry her.
- And I will not let him marry her.
- What?
Marriage would nullify the crime.
And I want to see that rascal in jail
for 15 years!
- My son isn't a rascal.
- Don't touch me.
He was forced to run away
by that little witch!
- Don't touch me.
- She was my fiancée.
I don't think that my mom would want me
to marry her anymore.
Bertozzini, worry about yourself.
I'm not killing you because I want
to see your son in jail for 20 years!
- You said 15.
- I want five more years!
This is the end!
We have news. And what news!
This card was left by a man
who did not want to say
who gave it to him.
They want to jump in the river!
They are crazy!
Crazy! In the Tiber!
Let's go to the police.
Good heavens! This is really absurd!
To jump in the river in this cold?
My mom would have never approved.
- Let's go to Lungotevere.
- What bridge? There are so many.
Couldn't we make an announcement
on the TV or the radio?
We could make it on the radio.
Something like,
"Tony, Rosalia. Come back home."
I will say…
That would take too long.
We need something quick.
"Come back home.
Your parents will forgive you."
Are you in favor of the marriage
that would nullify the crime?
- Of course.
- He must say it.
- He will not agree.
- Of course I forgive you. Come back.
Come back, dear. Come back to your father.
I will sing a lullaby for you again.
They will let us say that.
If my dad will not let us get married,
I will jump in the river.
Don't worry.
My mother will fix everything.
If they only knew
that we are in the attic…
Tony!
Do you care for me?
This is an absolute win!
Did you do it?
- A win!
- Really?
Not even Napoleon at Waterloo…
No… He lost there.
- Not even Napoleon when he won!
- What did my father say?
He has become like a sheep.
- He's ready to hug you.
- Mom, you're the best!
- Dad…
- Don't ever do such things again.
Where have you been all this time?
- In the attic.
- Just the two of you?
- We didn't suspect anything.
- I watched them strictly.
You planned all this.
I should have known!
Miss Rosalia didn't spend the night
with him alone?
Tony is a good man.
- Then I can…
- You can go. Say hi to your mom for me.
You did well, Mr. Engineer.
You will get the insurance
before this evening.
I'm already insured,
in case something happened.
You can set the world on fire! Goodbye.
This is Rosalia, the daughter of Caputo.
This is his car!
Here it is.
It's her! My true love!
- You found her!
- Still brand new.
- How did you recognize it?
- From Rosalia's picture.
They took it to do a heist
and then abandoned it.
- It's all new!
- Beautiful.
What? Half of it is missing!
- It's nothing.
- It crashed against a tank.
- A chariot.
- And you didn't see it?
This is why you need insurance.
If you don't want to worry,
you must get insurance.
Don't do this or you will break it.
Let's go upstairs to sign it.
You can say that I signed it a day before.
- Again?
- Go away!
You must sign it today.
I will sign it today!
- Don't break it. Let's go.
- All right.
BABY SINGER CONTEST
- Laura, you were so good!
- Thank you!
- Congratulations!
- Can I give you a kiss?
Of course. What else would you like?
- Can I meet the showgirl?
- Daniela, come here.
Shake hands. Goodbye, Laura.
- Who's next?
- Last participant. Carlo Bertozzini.
Let him come in.
- Good evening, Mr. Pippo Baudo.
- Good evening.
- What are you doing here?
- I'm here for the contest.
- But you're not the right age.
- I know the song!
I'm not the age to love you
You are too old for this contest.
It's only for children.
- Mr. Pippo Baudo…
- Tell me.
- You're so tall…
- Go ahead.
When I was young I used to sing.
You can't participate in this contest.
Let me participate in another contest.
- You?
- Tell me the tunes, I answer…
- We can make an agreement…
- Please…
- Are you alone or with the dog?
- With the dog. He knows every tune.
On Sunday morning,
when you perform those tunes,
he guesses them all with his tail.
Marcoffio is a great fan of yours.
He has a picture of you in his doghouse.
He looks at it and falls asleep.
- Give him a kiss!
- Please!
What are you doing here?
- I escorted someone.
- Finally!
Do I have play the piano accompaniment?
- You came here with a child?
- Yes, I brought my nephew, Carletto.
Make sure that he wins
because his father wants him to.
If he is good, he will win.
He must win because his father is crazy
and said that if he doesn't win,
he'll come here and kill everybody.
- Who?
- You.
- Are you crazy?
- I'm willing to give you…
The audience is watching us.
Put down your hand, please.
Please, Mr. Marcoffio.
- Leave. Goodbye.
- My nephew must win.
Filiberto, can I be less formal?
It's an honor for me.
No, you keep being formal with me.
The insurance agent and the customer
should be formal.
This insurance includes
theft, fire, civil liability…
Whatever happens to you,
with this insurance you're covered.
- How much is this?
- 54,800 lira.
- No less.
- Can it be…
Sighing… Breathing…
- What?
- Installments.
- Speak properly.
- I do.
Between you and the TV,
I can't understand anything!
Of course he has to blame the TV.
I'm always his victim.
Filippo took Carletto to the movies.
Rosalia and Tony went skiing.
And I slave all day
and I can't even watch some TV!
Enjoy yourself. You don't bother us.
Come in here.
It's the Baby Singer Contest.
That's nice!
Your head is always around me,
full of hair, mustache and teeth!
- What are you going to sing?
- "Zum Zum Zum."
- That child looks like Carletto!
- Really.
He looks like him.
That's your child!
He got an F in singing!
- And he's entered a singing contest!
- It runs in his blood!
The song I have in my mind
I don't know what it is
Or where I heard it
But I'm sure it goes…
He has my voice.
I sang it this morning
As soon as I woke up
And I was thinking that it isn't bad
Especially the part that goes
Zum Zum Zum
If it carries on like this
It will end up that this song
Will become such an obsession
That when I talk sometimes I'll go
The song I have in my mind
I don't know what it is
Or where I heard it
But I'm sure that it goes
Zum Zum Zum
The more I think about it
The more I think it was a choir
A choir of kids
That were singing in a schoolyard
And they kept on repeating
Zum Zum Zum
Not bad!
Shut up, I want to hear who wins.
- Hi.
- Hello.
- The yeti has arrived!
- Do you know who's on TV?
- The match?
- No, Carletto.
- Your brother.
- He's singing on TV.
- Really?
- He never liked singing.
Silence!
They are announcing the winner.
- Good evening.
- Good evening.
Here is the winner
of the Baby Singer Contest.
The winner by majority
is Carletto Bertozzini!
You win 50 golden coins
that Daniela will give you now.
Who taught you to sing like that?
- My teacher, Sister Teresa.
- Good.
- Can I give a kiss?
- To me?
- No, to Daniela!
- Sure.
Say hello to Marcoffio, your uncle,
and Sister Teresa for me!
Ladies and gentlemen,
this contest is over.
Goodnight from Pippo Baudo.
- These are for Ferruccio.
- He brought you magazines.
- Come on.
- For you…
- For you…
- Give it to her.
I have something else
so you can take Ferruccio
to that far away place
where that doctor can cure him.
That can cure him.
Take them. It's the coins he won
at the singing contest.
The first toast is to the lucky couple.
No more fake kidnappings
and fake suicides!
And the second toast
for our little singer!
We need a double toast for him.
Because he won the contest
and did a good deed.
Why I don't get to drink?
You will toast with the orange juice!
Ferruccio left some days ago.
When will he get the surgery?
- This morning at eight.
- It was three here.
- Let's hope everything went well.
- I'll go.
- What time is it?
- It's 12:30.
- He already had the surgery.
- A telegram from abroad.
This is a telegram for Carlo.
- This is for you.
- You read it, Dad.
No, you read it. You're a grown up now.
"The surgery went well.
I'll be back in school soon."
"Next to you! Thank you.
Your friend, Ferruccio Vincenzi."
My sweet Carletto!
What a brother I have!
Ferruccio is fine!
Carletto!
- See that the Lord helped us?
- Are you crying?
- We must be happy.
- Let's have a toast.
Uncle Filippo and Marcoffio are missing.
He's never here when you need him!
- What?
- Marcoffio is a female dog!
Puppies!
Now I have an even bigger family.
I will have to support them all.
- Give them to us.
- Yes!
It must have happened to you too
To have a song stuck in your head
To listen to some kind of orchestra
That keeps on playing
Zum Zum Zum
The song that I have in my mind
I don't know what it is
Or where I heard it
But I'm sure it goes
I sang it this morning
As soon as I woke up
And I was thinking that it isn't so bad
Especially in the part that goes
Zum Zum Zum
If it carries on like this
It will end up that this song
Will become such an obsession
That when I talk sometimes I'll go
The song I have in my mind
THE END