ZsaZsa Zaturnnah Ze Moveeh (2006) - full transcript

--== McEphie ==--
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[woman] Neighbors!

[thunder rumbles]

[woman] It's raining again!

[people clamoring]

[thunder rumbles]

♪ Rain, rain, rain! ♪

♪ Rain, rain, raindrops are falling
And the sky is pouring ♪

♪ You can't stop the rain
The heavy rain ♪

♪ Hitting our roofs, drowning the land ♪

♪ Mocking the river
And it looks like it's going to flood ♪



Rain, rain, rain, pouring down again

♪ The rain is pouring ♪

[man] Faster!

Children, faster! Get inside the house!

-[girl] Yes, Mom.
-How will I go out in this weather?

If I can't sell, I can't earn!

Damn this rain, my customers
went home to their wives!

[thunder rumbles]

♪ Rain, rain, raindrops are falling
And the sky is pouring ♪

♪ The rain, rain, rain can't be stopped! ♪

I'll save the water for washing clothes.

That's okay, dudes! Let's drink!

I hope classes will be suspended.

Everyone near the river, evacuate!



♪ Rain, rain, the raindrops are falling ♪

♪ And the sky is pouring ♪

[thunder rumbles]

[woman] I told you
we should've waited till tomorrow!

♪ My chest is heavy and tight ♪

♪ I feel like I can't breathe ♪

♪ Look, even the rain is crying with me ♪

♪ Like it's mocking me ♪

♪ This cruel storm is teasing me ♪

-[thunder rumbles]
-[squeals]

♪ Fate is cruel and unkind to me ♪

♪ When will I know true happiness? ♪

There, that's done.

Your tuition fee, some extra money.
Your allowance for the week.

You have so many experiments this week.

Not here, it's embarrassing.

Ada, I have something to tell you.

We can't see each other anymore.

I'm really sorry,
but I have to obey my mom's orders.

She told me to stop seeing you.

After three years?

Now that you're about to graduate?

She's forbidding you only now?

Is it because I'm gay?

Because I'm not a real woman
who can bear you a child?

No, Ada. It's not that.

I'm just having a hard time.

We have different religions.

[sighs] I'm really sorry.

Lester!

♪ It's always suffering and pain ♪

♪ And heartache ♪

[cries]

♪ Rain, rain, the raindrops are falling
And the sky is pouring ♪

♪ Rain, rain, rain
The rain is pouring down again ♪

♪ The heavy rain is pouring ♪

[thunder rumbles]

♪ I have to leave this place ♪

♪ So many bitter memories ♪

Father was right.

I shouldn't have been… gay. [cries]

Shame on you!

What are you? A boy or a girl?

I'm a girl, Father, a girl!

Now? Try telling me you're a mermaid!

-Boy or girl?
-A boy!

Now you'll learn!

[boy cries]

Yes, a boy.

I'm looking for a boy.

That's what my heart wants.

That won't change. I'm a girl, I'm a girl!

-[gasps]
-Faggot!

How will you give me and your mother
a grandchild, huh?

Is that what you want, Father?
A grandchild?

If you want, I can make someone pregnant.

Moron!

Aruba, go and pack. We're leaving.

Now? Uncle Adrian, it's raining.
It's signal number five.

We're leaving as soon as possible.

Let's leave this horrible house.

We will leave Manila.

I'll forget my love
and the hatred that surrounds me here.

-I want a quiet life.
-Where are we going, Uncle Adrian?

♪ Anywhere else is better than here ♪

♪ Here, I can't escape ♪

♪ From my past ♪

♪ It's hard but it's the only way ♪

♪ It hurts, but I have to do it ♪

♪ What else is new?
I'm used to it ♪

♪ I lost again ♪

♪ My heart is bleeding but I must go ♪

♪ Shelter from the rain ♪

♪ After I gave everything I had ♪

♪ This is where ♪

♪ I ended up ♪

♪ That's why I have ♪

♪ To leave this place ♪

My God!

Please give me peace and quiet!

-[Ada squeals]
-[thunder rumbles]

[roof squeaks]

[rain patters]

[lightning crashes]

♪ Zsazsa! ♪

♪ Zsazsa Zaturnnah! ♪

♪ Zsazsa! ♪

♪ Zsazsa Zaturnnah! ♪

♪ Zsazsa! ♪

♪ Zsazsa Zaturnnah! ♪

[vehicle honking]

[indistinct chatter]

Why? It's early
and you're already playing games.

[man] Oh!

What do you want?

-Can I have some gin?
-It's too early for gin.

Do you still know what water tastes like?

-I'm here. Where are you?
-[bicycle chimes]

[cell phone dings]

[gasps] Oh!

I'm here. Good morning, Poldo. Mwah.

-Thank you.
-The payment?

-Add it to the list.
-List it again?

-Good morning, Poldo.
-Good morning, Arubabes.

-How many pieces of bread today?
-The usual three.

-[Aruba] Love you.
-Love you too.

[giggling]

-Wait a minute.
-Go ahead, go ahead.

-Here, it's still hot.
-Thank you.

-Good morning, Dodong.
-Good morning.

I've got something to tell you.

I dreamt about you last night.

Me, too.

Faggot! Faggot, look at that!

-Mmm.
-[gasps]

[Didi] Every limb is meaty and tasty.

[both squeal]

Delicious.

[both squeal]

Hey!

Is he your boyfriend?

Ouch!

[Britney] Stop it
or you'll get more than that!

-That's enough.
-Do you want to fight?

-[Britney] Sure! Try it. Try it!
-Hey, stop it right now!

[indistinct bickering]

Hi, beautiful Ada.

-Hey.
-[woman] Look at you!

Where were you last night?

[woman] Why do you put up with him?

My grandmother died, I was at her wake.

Oh, my… You?

With all your kin who have died,
you should be an orphan by now.

Ada, it's Dodong, come on.

[Poldo and Aruba giggling]

[squeals]

-[Poldo] So, I'll see you later?
-Sure.

-Creatures of the night.
-[squeals]

Dodong!

Get in. We have lots to do
and you're always going off somewhere.

And to think I pay you a decent salary.

It's too early to be a villainess
like Ethan Discher,

Vernie Varga, Zeny Zabala,
Bella Flores, and Manny Castañeda.

You're bitchier than all of them combined!

-Villain!
-Slut!

[boy] Wait for me!

[soft music playing]

Dodong, how are you? Mwah!

-Do you want me to buy all that?
-Aruba.

[Krystal] So you can rest early.

What?

How many years do I have to wait
for the bread I told you to buy?

Here, Uncle Adrian.

Maddening!

[Krystal] When are we going out?
Answer me.

Mmm. Come on.

Aren't you ashamed of the things you say?

What if his parents curse me
if they think I'm flirting with their son?

You know what? I love you as my friend.

That's why I'm ready to award you

a trophy for stupidity!

[Aruba] [laughs] What is that?

It's okay with Dodong.

You're the only one who's overreacting
and acting like a girl!

You want to see Krystal
end up with Dodong and not you?

-Yuck!
-It's fine, he can be Krystal's.

I won't like him
even if the sky falls on my head.

-[roof clatters]
-[Ada] Ouch.

Aruba, did you hear that?
We should have the roof fixed.

I know. It would be painful
if the sky fell and hit us.

[Ada] Hush! Stop trying to be cute!

-[giggles]
-Jeez!

[chicken cackles]

♪ Friendship is what I want from you ♪

♪ Don't be mad if you don't want me ♪

♪ I'll just say goodbye ♪

♪ I'll accept it ♪

♪ And I will say thank you ♪

[rumbling]

[vocalizing]

[vocalizing continues]

[rumbling intensifies]

-[object clatters]
-[screams]

[sizzling]

What was that?

Who threw that?

[whimpers] Uncivilized animals!

I was just singing
and you throw things at me?

[cries]

You animals!

Ignorant!

I was just singing,
and you're throwing stuff?

You can say "Please stop singing,"

and I'll stop!

I'm easy to talk to!

But don't throw stuff at me!

Animals!

Animals!

It's unfair!

Za… turn… nah.

It's your fault, singing even if nature
didn't gift you with singing talent!

Uncle Adrian, just admit you like Dodong.

I don't want to die yet.

Zaturnnah. Zaturnnah.
Zaturnnah. Zaturnnah.

[Ada] Zaturnnah.

Zaturnnah.

What does this mean?

That could be a scrub
and that's the brand.

But from above?
It even destroyed our roof.

What? It came from above?

You mean to say
this came from the heavens?

-Oh, my, Ada!
-What is it?

I've read stuff like this in comics!

It comes with powers! This is when--

-Put it in your mouth, Ada.
-Go, do it!

It's got powers, trust me!

-Go.
-But how?

And why?

First, we don't know
where it came from. Second…

[gasps]

…it's too big!

How will I put it in my mouth?

Hypocrite! Oh, I forgot.

You have such a small mouth.

-Well…
-Oh, yeah, not a mouth. A pie hole.

Go ahead, just try.

Go ahead.

Slowly.

Go, "Aaa…"

[Aruba and Didi] Aaa…

[laughs]

You're such an ugly girl!

Go ahead and swallow it. You're crazy.

Why should I swallow it?

Wait a minute.

You sang, you got hit,
you should swallow it.

Swallow it, go ahead. Swallow it.

Don't force it.
You know how much pain he's suffered.

Aruba, you forget you have school.

Get dressed. Poldo's waiting for you.

[Aruba] Okay.

[suspenseful music playing]

[gags]

[Ada whimpers]

[Didi exclaiming]

You're a winner!

Miss Talent!

No problems?

None.

[giggles]

Sister, it's like water.

-[Didi] Huh?
-Water that got into my throat.

And it tastes like…

Peppermint?

[Ada whimpers]

Strawberry.

[both laugh]

Now shout,
so we'll know what your powers are!

Fool! You're making fun of me.

What do you do when you swallow something?
Don't you shout?

It's hard to shout

when there's a new object in your mouth.

Where's the rock?

-What the…
-Oh!

Just pour your craziness on Dodong, okay?

What will I shout?

Zaturnnah.

What do you think it should be?
Wonder Woman? You're not an American.

[Ada scoffs]

[man] What happened to your trip?

[Ada] Zaturnnah!

[explosion]

-[Britney] What's happening?
-[woman 2] Come here, come here!

Ada, Ada, what's happening?

[screams]

[coughs]

We tried the Christmas lights.
But they short-circuited.

That's it?

That's it. Bye!

[grunts]

[Aruba coughs] What's happening?

[gasps]

Aruba! Didi!

It's effective! I'm a woman! [squeals]

Wait, wait, wait. Who are you?

What did you do to my Uncle Adrian?
And how did you get in here?

Ouch.

I am your Uncle Adrian.

Wait. Are you really Ada?

-Have mercy, don't be obscene!
-Have a look.

♪ Hey, fag! ♪

♪ Didi, take a look
I'm a woman ♪

♪ These breasts grew out of nowhere ♪

-♪ Here in my chest ♪
-[both scream]

♪ Pinch me ♪

♪ Is this real? ♪

♪ Don't contradict me ♪

♪ Just look at me, I'm a woman! ♪

♪ Take a look ♪

-♪ Hey, sister ♪
-[Didi] Oh!

♪ Didi, look at me, I'm a woman ♪

♪ I don't have a dickie
That dangles between my legs ♪

♪ I don't have a mustache
That needs to be shaved ♪

♪ Don't contradict me
Just look at me, I'm a woman ♪

♪ Yes, you are
But so what? ♪

♪ You're a woman
But you act like a fag! ♪

♪ Your beauty is just average ♪

♪ You're prettier than me just by a bit ♪

♪ Don't get too excited
You might get sick ♪

♪ So if you please, shut up ♪

-♪ He's envious ♪
-♪ Huh? ♪

-♪ The gay is jealous ♪
-♪ Who, me? ♪

♪ He envies me because he's still gay ♪

♪ Look at my fingers, they're not rough ♪

♪ Look at my neck, no more Adam's apple ♪

♪ No more evidence of my being a gossip ♪

♪ Take a look, I'm a woman ♪

♪ I'm a woman! I'm a woman! ♪

♪ One fine babe, I'm a woman ♪

♪ I'm a woman! I'm a woman! ♪

♪ From the eyebrows to my nails
I'm a woman! ♪

♪ I'm such a winner
I deserve a crown ♪

♪ Look at me, I'm a woman! ♪

♪ I'm such a winner ♪

♪ I deserve a crown ♪

♪ Look at me! ♪

♪ I'm a woman! ♪

Wait.

Aside from being obscene,
what else can you do? Hmm?

Why are we here?

Hey, Didi are you listening?
What are we doing here?

You're just my assistant.

You now what? Even in comic books,
the assistant follows the boss.

Since your hair became red,
you've become more talkative than ever.

You're worse than a fag.

It's your karma.
You made me swallow the rock.

Not all gays are talkative.

There are also those
with poise and breeding.

There are those like me who are educated,
and the gutter trash, like you!

Come here.

You see this tree?

-Yeah?
-Pull it.

[birds chirping]

[sighs]

Are you okay, Didi?
That's too big for me to pull.

[Didi] Mm-hmm.

Don't tell me I have to swallow that, too?

Don't abuse me, Didi.

So many complaints,
just pull the damn thing!

Okay, I will!

[both shriek]

You really pulled the tree out!

You're now a certified superhero!

You're in the league of Wonder Woman,
Darna, Krystala, and Electra!

[Didi laughs]

[both screaming]

[both sigh]

Good thing you missed.

I have superpowers.

Basin, ladle, the utensils
are all yours. You're correct!

Hands on your chest, let's play.
Let's see what other powers you have!

[Didi laughs]

-You see this lake?
-Yes.

From here up to the other side, jump.

[Didi giggles]

-Can I do that?
-Yeah.

In high school,
I wasn't an athlete. What more now?

What's wrong with you?

How will we know what you can
and can't do if we don't test your powers?

You've got a point.

[Didi] Hmm?

I'll just try, okay?

[Ada grunts]

[majestic music plays]

[Didi exclaims] That's great!

Huh? Huh?

[Didi gasps]

[Didi exclaims]

[Didi laughs]

-[squeals]
-That's so fabulous!

You're better than all the fags!

From now on,
you are the Star for all Seasons.

The Diamond Star, Megastar,
Superstar, Bold Star! [laughs]

I'm not a bold star.

I am Zaturnnah.

Zsazsa Zaturnnah.

-What the…
-Ouch.

Wait. There's still one thing
you haven't done yet.

-Hmm.
-What's that?

Hmm? Fly.

If you can jump,

I believe you can fly.

Let's go. Come, come, come!

[both squealing and laughing]

[Didi] Go, go now! Go, go fly!

[Didi exclaims]

[Didi] Fly! Fly! Fly!

Fly like a butterfly!

[shrieks]

[screams]

[Ada groans]

Oh, my! I'm sorry, Ada!

Ada! Ada! Oh, dear! Ada! Ada!

Oh! Ouch! Oh!

Ada! Ada!

-Ada!
-It hurts.

-I'm sorry, Ada. At least, we tried.
-Oh, it hurts.

[cries]

So, your powers are limited.

At least we know now,

you can't fly.

-Hmm?
-[whimpers]

-I'm sorry. Does it hurt?
-My hips are aching.

I'm so sorry, my friend. Let's go.

[Ada groans, cries]

You're shameless!

You made me do silly things all day.

I'm filthy and my hips ache.

At least, we saw
all your superpower abilities.

Right?

Tomorrow, you should have a costume.

Hmm. You have a small waistline.

Who can I get a costume from?

I don't want a costume.

What do you mean?

Don't tell me you'll wear
a night gown when you fight?

But you know what I'm excited about?
Who you'll fight first.

You mean to say this gig comes
with a costume and fight sequences?

You really have no idea
about superhero movies, do you?

Of course, if there's a superhero,
there's a villain.

-[robber] Give it now!
-[man] I don't have money!

There! Go!

Who is that?

Poor guy.

-It's Dodong!
-You're right!

Hey! Let go of him!

Go to her.

-[gasps]
-[Didi] Dodong!

-They're coming! Oh!
-[robber 1] Meddler!

[robber 1] We'll see how tough you are.

[Didi cries]

[laughs]

-You want to be the first?
-She's fine.

You're rude!

[robbers gasp]

[Ada and Didi exclaim]

Wait a minute, she's mine.

[grunting]

You're a good ballroom dancer.

-[robber 1 grunts]
-[robber 2 gasps]

Dodong, what happened to you?

-Dodong? Wake up!
-[robber 3] You've got some nerve, woman!

[robber 3] Let's see what you can do!

[grunting]

Huh?

[groans]

[Didi] Serves you right!

[robber 2] You bitch!

Dodong, wake up!
Watch Zsazsa, she's fabulous!

[grunting]

-[bones crack]
-[groans]

[whimpers, cries]

Yes! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!

[robbers grunting]

[Didi] Go! Yeah! What now, huh?

What happened? Is that bullet time?

Wait a minute, Dong, okay?

Hmm? Hmm.

Hmm? Hmm?

[robbers grunt]

[Didi gasps]

Hey! What are you doing there?

Hey! We're not done yet!

[Didi and Ada scream]

[Didi and Ada crying]

[shrieks]

[screams]

[gasp]

-[robbers shrieking]
-[bullets clanging]

Boom shakalak.

[gasp]

Amazing, voovam!

[Ada chuckles]

-It's Dodong. Dodong!
-Dodong! Dodong!

-Dodong, wake up. Wake up.
-Dodong, wake up.

What happened?

-You were robbed.
-Yeah.

-Yeah.
-Where are they?

They're gone.

Didi.

Who is she?

She's so beautiful,
with her flaming red hair.

She's Zaturnnah.

[Didi] Zsazsa.

Zsazsa Zaturnnah.

She's my cousin. She saved you.

Thank you, Zsazsa, for saving my life.

It was nothing.

-[Didi] Oh!
-[shrieks]

You fag! I think you killed him!

-Dodong, wake up!
-I think he fell into a coma again.

Dodong! Dodong!

-[Didi] Here, have some coffee.
-It hurts.

Rest a bit.

You'll get used to it.

We have to work.

But how?

I know.

Why don't we have a show?

Don't worry, I won't ask you to sing.
No telling what will hit you on the head.

What you'll do is lift a barbell
while you're showering in fire.

Or you could eat glass shards
while sliding on blades.

Or we could put metal in your hand

and you'll play a church bell
like a hunchback.

-Mmm.
-Hmm?

If you want a raise, just say so.

Don't think of ways to kill me.

-Crazy fag!
-Hey, Aruba, here's your coffee!

Yes? Thank you.

-Good morning, Arubabes.
-Good morning, Polvoron.

No time for coffee, we're off to school.

Your allowance.

Thank you.

Your lips.

-Bye.
-Okay, we'll go.

-[Aruba] Good morning, Dodong.
-Good morning.

The parlor's still closed.

Oh, I just wanted to thank Zsazsa.

-Thank you.
-She's dead.

What?

She doesn't live here anymore.

[groans silently]

Okay, I just want to bring some bread.

I can buy bread.

[groans silently]

Pardon Ada. She had tamarind soup.
That's why she's bitter and sour.

Sorry, Dodong, let Ada be.
She's having her period.

[Didi humming]

Hi.

Here you go.

Where'd you steal that from?

I took it from Gwyneth.

She used it last year
at the Miss Gay All Saints Day pageant.

I adjusted it to contain your melons.

[gasps]

-Hmm?
-What the…

You… Zaturnnah appears

and you notice her boobs?

What'll I do with your boobs?

If I color them red, we can
donate them to a basketball team.

Go wear it,
so I'll see if it fits you or what.

-Hey!
-What?

This is too daring, I can't wear it.

That's how superhero outfits are.
No superhero wears a gown.

-Wear it!
-Do you see this?

Why will I bother wearing a panty?

We'll just see if it's beautiful.
There's more in there. Hurry!

You…

-Isn't it a bit daring?
-No, it's nice. Trust me.

-Didi, you're too much!
-Will I give you something that isn't?

What's taking so long?
Such small pieces of cloth!

[Ada] Didi, it's too small.
I can't wear it!

You're too picky!
Why are you taking forever? Miss Portugal!

[Ada] It's so vulgar!

Hurry, let's see it! Come out!

[Didi] See, it's perfect!

It's beautiful, girl!

I'm embarrassed.

-See? I told you!
-[Ada] I told you, I can't wear it.

[Ada] It's too sexy.

You're fetching in fuchsia! Ouch!

You're beautiful, turn around!

[laughs] I told you!

-I'll hit you.
-You're the best in swimsuit!

-I'm ashamed…
-[laughs] Ashamed? Of what?

You're a winner, girl! [laughs]

-Winner!
-Really?

Faster. Oops. I can see your pecker.

-It's a scene stealer!
-I'll hit you.

-[laughs] Hurry!
-Stop teasing! Is it okay?

It'll be nicer
when you swallow the rock. Hurry!

-So we can see the full effect.
-Let's try it?

-Go, sister! Hurry!
-Okay.

I'm telling you it'll be great.

You sure I look okay?

When have I been wrong?

-I'll slap you, promise!
-Go ahead, stop talking.

[Ada breathes deeply]

[gags]

[swallows]

Zaturnnah!

[explosion]

[majestic music plays]

[coughs]

[exclaims] Oh, my gosh!

-Beautiful!
-I look like I'm going to Japan!

You're perfect in a push-up.

-[laughs]
-Mwah! Mwah!

Ada's beautiful! Ada's so beautiful!

I don't understand it.

When I'm Zaturnnah,

I lose my ability to cut hair.

Oh, Ada dear.

It only means
Zaturnnah can do things that you can't.

And you, you can do things
that Zaturnnah can't.

But Zaturnnah's a girl.

We're different.

You're being dramatic again.

Stop all the melodrama, Ada.

Remember this.
Zsazsa Zaturnnah and Ada are one.

One pink rock is all
that separates you two.

[Britney] Ada! Ada!

-[shrieks]
-[gasps]

-Miss Britney!
-We don't buy dead hair to make wires.

I came here for a hot oil,
not for insults.

Miss Britney, you're just in time.

I don't have casserole scrubs.

-Shhh! Come in.
-Stop that. You're too much.

Okay, time for me to exit for now.

-[Ada] Sit down.
-[Didi hums]

Make me beautiful.

I have a date later.

Wow! You're beautiful.

Who is it? [whispers] How much is he?

Is it my fault I'm still yummy at my age?

Be thankful that you haven't been
caught by your boyfriend.

How come you didn't have
a boyfriend up to now?

Oh, dear.

I'm not too keen on one now.

I'm taking a vacation from love.

Why don't you try marrying a woman?

Who knows? You might not be gay.

Maybe you just think you are.

[Ada chuckles]

That's a long time for me to think.

But, okay.

I'll marry a woman…

if a giant frog attacks the town.

[people screaming]

[giant frog croaks]

[man] Hurry! Run!

[Didi] Hey, what's that?

What's all the commotion?

What's happening?

There's a giant frog! Many houses
have been destroyed, many are dead!

Ada! Hey!

[screams] There's a giant frog
near the river!

[both] Really?

Where did the frog come from?

I don't know,
leave Britney and call Zsazsa!

Let's go and call Zsazsa.

Wait. How will Zsazsa change in here?

Just go find a big fly.

Ada, wait! There are lots of boys.

-So what?
-Ada.

Krystal's flirting with your Dodong!

I don't care.

Come on, Ada, let's go.

Stop this act. [chuckles]

[people clamoring]

[giant frog croaking]

-It's the end of the world!
-Let's get married!

-[Poldo] Faster. Faster, Didi.
-[people clamoring]

[screaming]

-Wait, Didi!
-Gosh! There it is! Frog!

Didi, Didi, who's that girl?

Why is she dressed that way?
It's chaos now!

Hey!

Zsazsa! Let's go, the frog's here!

Dodong, leave us for now. Later.

-Didi, where did it come from?
-There. The magic volcano.

Magical volcano? We have one here?

Never mind the questions, just kill it!

How? I can't kill tiny cockroaches,
what more that giant?

[croaking]

Did I tell you to step on it?

-My point is--
-Stop talking! Just kill it!

[Zsazsa] Kill it? What? Didi…

-There's the frog, there's the frog!
-It's huge!

[pounding]

-[whimpers]
-Use your power!

[screams]

[pounds, croaks]

[screams]

It's coming!

[croaks]

[coughs]

[whimpers]

-[croaks]
-[screams]

Hey! Get out! Zsazsa!

Oh, gosh! You can do it! It's coming!

[all clamoring]

[grunts]

Zsazsa.

[grunts]

[all gasp]

[loud thud]

[croaking]

Zsazsa! The tongue!

Tongue?

[giggles]

No! The frog's tongue!

[Dodong] Zsazsa!

[screams]

[gasp]

Beaten after one fight?
What kind of a superhero is that?

What if I feed you to the frog?
Go away, you termite!

Zsazsa was eaten by the frog!

My poor cousin. [sobs]

-My poor cousin!
-Zsazsa!

[Zsazsa grunting]

[grunts]

So this is the inside of a frog.

What's this?

[gasps] Gold coins?

So this is the frog that eats gold coins?

And there are guards. Amazing.

Hey, wake up! [gasps]

[Zsazsa grunts]

[Zsazsa grunts]

[croaking]

[Zsazsa grunts]

[groans]

[all gasping]

[majestic music plays]

♪ Her name is Zsazsa ♪

Clap, you simple people!

♪ Zsazsa Zaturnnah! ♪

♪ Victory! Winner! Triumph! ♪

[suspenseful music plays]

[laughs, claps]

Very commendable.

Who would have thought
that a mighty warrior like her

would choose to live
in that kind of place?

It seems that even the local male forms
applaud her triumph.

[inaudible]

The mic and audio feeds reveal,
they call her…

Zaturnnah.

Zaturnnah?

It's so ironic.

She's oblivious
to the deception of the enemy.

Can we get her
so you can meet her, my queen?

Not just yet.

For now, she's still enjoying
the applause of the men.

So we're not yet sure of her character,

whether she is a friend or an enemy.

We would give her another test
to gauge her worth.

My queen.

Hmm?

The ball of fire?

No.

That would be too easy for her.

Hmm.

Something more lingering.

How about the Fear Factor?

Yes! And if she fails,

we would be the ones
to fulfill our directive for her.

[scoffs]

The extinction of the male species
in their world.

[inaudible]

[all laugh]

[menacing laugh]

-[gasps]
-[Dodong] Ada.

What are you doing here?

I was looking for you
but I couldn't find you.

[slow music plays]

I'm not a rubbernecker.

Excuse me.

Too bad, you should have seen
how great Zsazsa was.

The whole town was worried
because the frog was huge.

All of us were in danger.

Everybody was so amazed with Zsazsa
when she suddenly showed up.

You should have asked for her autograph.

Uh…

I won't bother you anymore.
You probably have a lot to do.

I just wanted to make sure
that you were okay.

[indistinct chatter]

[giggles]

I thought you didn't want to come?

Aruba wanted to go, I just went with her.

What? And use me?
You just want to apologize to Dodong.

Poldo texted me,
he said Dodong is very sad.

-It's your fault, you embarrassed him.
-You didn't!

That's why I'm here, to apologize.

[Poldo] Hi, Arubabes!

-[Poldo] Hi.
-[Aruba] Hi, Poldo!

-Where's your brother?
-Over there.

-Let's go.
-Bye.

[festive music plays]

-[Dodong] Go, drink it.
-Mmm.

So sweet and delicious.

Go to him. Go and kneel.

There, there. Your turn.

No, I won't.

Malicious bitch!
Go kneel and ask for forgiveness.

Just one kiss, please?

I can't let you kiss me. I don't want to.

I'll give you 50 pesos. Kiss me now!

Mmm.

Wait. Are you crazy?
You'll let Krystal bewitch Dodong?

Go and throw that girl out of our galaxy!

Dodong will thank you for it.

-Please.
-[Ada] I'd rather just go to bed.

I only fight frogs.

Not barracudas.

[Dodong] I don't want you.

Mmm.

Is that what a barracuda looks like?

I thought she was a piranha.

[birds chirping]

♪ His arms alone are so meaty ♪

♪ Give me a fork and a spoon ♪

♪ That hunk makes my ovaries spin ♪

♪ He makes my libido go haywire ♪

♪ And he gives me a fever ♪

♪ He's the man I'd like to marry ♪

♪ Big, soft and meaty ♪

♪ If he hugged me in his arms ♪

♪ I wouldn't dream of anything else ♪

♪ Just my smile would make him
Fall in love with me ♪

♪ His heart would burn
From the flames of passion ♪

♪ There'd be a tsunami
Earthquake and typhoon ♪

♪ In his manly chest ♪

♪ He'll give his whole heart
And undying love to me ♪

♪ I'm the kind of wife
He desires and needs ♪

♪ Loving, attentive and sweet ♪

♪ He won't be ashamed of me ♪

♪ And he'll fight for me ♪

♪ He won't leave m or make fun of me ♪

♪ He's my dream boy and no one else's ♪

♪ Only him ♪

♪ He's the only one in my heart
Cut me open ♪

♪ Only him ♪

♪ I've no other dream boy but him ♪

♪ Thinking about her makes me smile ♪

♪ My dream girl, fine and sweet ♪

♪ Quiet and sometimes brave ♪

♪ I don't want a weak damsel ♪

♪ I'll give her all of me
From head to toe ♪

[shrieking]

♪ I want a one of a kind wife ♪

♪ Whoever she may be ♪

♪ She'll believe in my dreams ♪

♪ In the darkness, she's my light ♪

♪ Only him ♪

♪ My dream girl, and nobody else's ♪

♪ Only him ♪

♪ The only one in my heart
Cut me open ♪

♪ Only her ♪

♪ My dream, nobody else's ♪

♪ Only him ♪

♪ My dream, nobody else's ♪

♪ Only him ♪

♪ The only one in my heart
Cut it open ♪

♪ Only him ♪

♪ My dream, nobody else's ♪

♪ My dream, nobody else's
Only him ♪

Where'd he go?

-Dodong.
-Dodong.

-Dodong.
-Dodong.

-Dodong!
-He's mine.

-What do you mean, he's yours? He's mine!
-He's mine! He's mine!

[Krystal screams]

[both laugh]

-Damn you. You're shameless!
-Who's shameless?

-[screams]
-He's mine!

[Zsazsa] Dodong is mine!

-[Didi] Ada!
-[groans]

Ada! Ada! Ada!

Oh, gosh! Get up! Ada! Ada!

Ada, wake up! Ada, wake up!

-Fire? Where's the fire?
-No, Ada, there's no fire.

Ada!

We're being attacked again.

Give the watch men something to do!

Ada, this can't wait! They're here!

What?

What's attacking us now?

Giant grasshoppers?

No.

-Zombies!
-[gasps]

-[Didi cries]
-No.

I'm scared.

[people screaming]

[ominous music plays]

Didi! Didi! Didi!

Where's Zsazsa?

I haven't seen her yet.
Maybe she's there already.

Let's go!

Didi!

[whimpers]

[screams]

Please, don't.

[grunting]

[explodes]

-[explodes]
-Gosh!

They're so cheap. They burst on impact?

That's why they smell bad.

[sniffs]

And I thought I was the one
with body odor.

[grunts]

[whimpers]

[Dodong] Didi, help me!

Didi they're clawing at me!

[whimpers] I don't have the strength.

[Dodong screams]

Didi, they took my clothes off!
They stripped me!

Huh? What?

Shame on you! You can't do that to him!
Only one person can do that!

And it's not you!

Shameless!

Dreamer! Leave!

Man-hungry zombies!

[scoffs]

Dodong, you're really quite handsome.

The zombies are dying to have you.

[grunting]

[explodes]

Another one? Don't you creeps learn?

Come here so you can taste my 1-2-3.

Come!

Wait a minute.

I can't believe it.

It's unbelievable!

It's you.

Father!

Who are you?

I don't have a daughter.

I am Adrian, don't you recognize me?

Adrian? The fag?

Yes, Father, it's me.

You dunked me in a drum full of water

every time you caught me wearing a dress.

I have a beauty parlor now.

I'm taking care of Aruba.

I don't have a boyfriend.

Father.

Whatever was in our past, let's forget it.

I still love you up to now.

Father.

♪ That was a long time ago, Father ♪

♪ Why can't you forget it? ♪

♪ What I've become ♪

♪ Isn't bad ♪

♪ Despite everything ♪

♪ I've become someone ♪

♪ Even if it's not ♪

♪ Who you wanted me to be ♪

♪ You couldn't expect me ♪

♪ To just obey you blindly ♪

♪ To do everything you said ♪

♪ Because I was afraid of you ♪

♪ You stopped my heart from loving ♪

♪ Only to prolong my suffering ♪

♪ Is that what'll make you happy? ♪

♪ Please open up ♪

♪ Open your heart to me ♪

♪ Even if it's just a small opening ♪

♪ Let me shine through it ♪

♪ Your only child ♪

♪ Who loves you so much ♪

♪ Today is the day ♪

♪ I've been praying for so long ♪

♪ Let's please both forget ♪

♪ The ghosts of the past
Let's forget ♪

You.

I don't have a child who's a fag!

A pest in the life of me and my wife!

Because of that goddamned fag,

our lives were miserable!

He couldn't even give me a grandchild!

It's better

if I just kill myself!

-Father, no!
-Did you hear me?

-Yes.
-He's a pest!

-No.
-He's a pest!

He's a pest! He's a pest!

♪ Even if I cry tears of blood ♪

♪ Nothing will change ♪

♪ He still won't accept ♪

♪ That I'm a beautiful person ♪

♪ What was I thinking? ♪

♪ I thought there was hope ♪

[sobs]

♪ Because even when he was alive ♪

♪ His heart ♪

♪ Was already cold ♪

[cries]

The zombies are here!

[grunts]

[Dodong] Watch out.

[explodes]

Zsazsa, the zombies, over there!

Dodong's naked.

What are we gonna do with the zombies?

I'll take care of them.

Go to the parlor.
Get all the water spritzers.

Call all the townspeople.
I'll see you all in the church.

-Game!
-How about you?

She's a big girl already, come on!
So many zombies!

[whimpers]

[grunts]

What are we going to do with these?

What? We'll have a hair styling seminar.

-There you go. Come on.
-Seriously?

You ask so many questions.
I don't have the answers!

Get dressed. Faster!

So the zombies will get turned off!

You dress so slowly! Faster!

Come on, faster!

-Oh my!
-Where's Ada?

[Didi] She might be in the chapel already.

[people clamoring]

[Didi] Get inside! Get inside!

Come on, get in!

Where's Ada?
She's not here. I can't see her.

I'm already worried.

Don't worry, she's just around.

We gays have special powers
mere mortals don't possess.

Poldo and Aruba are already here.

-There are so many zombies outside.
-Yes, there are a lot.

[Didi] We're like cats.

No matter what pain and tragedies
life throws at us, we'll survive them.

Just like cockroaches?

If you weren't handsome,
I'd have pulled out your liver myself.

Let's pray.

Please help us, merciful God.

Have mercy.

Please help us
and save us from the zombies.

[ominous music plays]

[Zsazsa grunts]

[woman] It's Zsazsa!

[crowd clapping, cheering]

[heroic music plays]

Excuse me, Father,
but we're running out of time.

Fellow villagers!

Let's put an end to this craziness!

Think about your children's future!

We can do anything if we just unite!

Let's not allow the demons to succeed!

Right! Zaturnnah is right!

Long live us all!

[crowd cheers]

[Dodong] We need her!

All of you, join me outside

and we'll show them what we're made of!

What's she talking about?

What can we do?

I don't want to. Not me.

[indistinct chatter]

Wrong!

You thick-faced girl!

You'll only get us into trouble.

You'll feed us to the zombies.

You're a fake!

Yeah, right!

Why?

-Look at Didi!
-What?

Fellowmen, Didi is a fag!

[man] Didi? A fag?

Cool, huh? It's not obvious!

[all laughing]

Hey!

Gay!

Did you really have to announce that?

But she'll whole-heartedly face
the monsters without hatred in her heart

for all of you!

What?

Her courage and self-sacrifice

should serve as an example to all of us!

[Aruba] Mm-hmm.

Who's coming with Didi?

[all muttering]

[man] Me. I'll go with Didi.

I'll go with the fag!

[Britney] Me!

I'll also join the gay!

I'll join the fag!

[crowd muttering]

Yes! Me!

[indistinct chatter]

Come and join us.

[breathes heavily]

[crowd cheers]

Father, we need holy water.
To fight the monsters!

Follow me, we have lots inside.

[crowd] Let's go!

[explodes]

[townspeople chattering]

-Attack!
-[crowd] Attack!

Attack!

[grunts]

[explodes]

[grunts]

[grunts]

[zombie snarls]

[zombie explodes]

[Didi] Get out of there!

The zombies took your clothes off again?
They really like you, huh?

[yells]

[explodes]

[Didi] There are too many of them!
Where did they come from?

[Didi] There's a lot of them! [shrieks]

What are we going to do?

Zsazsa, what are we going to do?

There are too many of them.

We'll run out of holy water!

Let's go to Plan B!

Positions!

[Didi] Positions! Hurry! Hurry!

Faster!

[explodes]

[explodes]

[all cheer]

Thank you, Zsazsa.

Yes!

Thank you.

Zsazsa, you're great.

Thank you. Go home. Rest. Bye.

Excuse my cousin,
she has an exam tomorrow.

-An exam?
-She's in college.

Zsazsa wait for me!

Zsazsa!

[all gasp]

[creatures cheering]

Stop!

Creatures from other planet,

you have no right to react!

Go!

I am impressed.

I am amazed by what this Zaturnnah can do.

She is dealing
with the challenges admirably

considering that she dwells
with simple-minded people.

And it seems like she can tame the males

and make them do her bidding.

Hmm.

I wonder.

Sharon C.

Yes? My queen.

Prepare for our descent tomorrow morning
to meet our sister-in-arms.

Tomorrow it will be.

Hmm.

-Hey, you're too much!
-[Ada] Hmm?

Whenever you're Ada, you ignore Dodong.

When you're Zaturnnah,
you still ignore him.

-Hey.
-Jeez.

I ignore him as Ada

because we're not suited for each other.

I ignore him as Zaturnnah,

because the one he loves isn't real.

Zaturnnah comes out
when I swallow the rock.

If the rock's not mine anymore,

Zaturnnah is gone, too.

Uncle Adrian, it's simple.

Why don't you swallow the rock?
End of story.

So you'll be Zaturnnah forever.

Aruba.

Deception is responsible
for so many of our world's ills.

That's why I don't want to lie to people.

I am Ada who becomes Zaturnnah.

And not Zaturnnah who becomes Ada.

Oh my!

Sister Ada preaches again.

What were you again?
A Carmelite nun? Or a Pink Sister?

Shh. Go to sleep.

You know what, you just didn't get it.

I got it!

-Go to sleep.
-[Aruba] Good night!

[news program jingle plays]

After the new superhero
appeared in this town,

a giant frog attacked.

They were also attacked by the zombies.

What or who will strike next?

Let's wait and see.

[Didi] Poldo's here!

-[Didi] What a handsome boy.
-What's that?

[Poldo chuckles]

-Don't mind me.
-Bitch?

-Uncle Adrian…
-No.

Poldo and I will just go
to the hill, please?

Let them. That's how it is
when one is in love.

[sighs]

-Here.
-Wow.

For you to buy poison.

-Come on.
-Let's go.

You know what?

Dodong was looking for you last night.

I said you were with Father Bernard.

I think he got jealous. [giggles]

You know what?

Do you want to try the Botox
in your mouth?

So your mouth muscles will relax.

That's enough chat,
just make me beautiful.

[both chuckle]

[sighs]

[sighs in exasperation]

Wow.

Beautiful.

You're beautiful.

You're sexy.

You feel sexy, huh?

The dress is from Bangkok
but I bought it in Greenhills.

The payment?

Later, when I get back. Tomorrow?

Okay.

-Enjoy.
-Bye.

[Ada] Bye!

Hi, miss.

Uh, have you seen Britney? My wife?

Nope. Ask him.

-[Ada] Bye.
-[Britney] See you.

-Poldo, I don't want to.
-Why not?

-You're so fussy.
-Don't push me.

-Just one.
-Poldo, stop it.

Morbid.

Another form of male oppression.

-I don't want to. Stop.
-Come on, just one.

-[Aruba] Huh?
-What's wrong?

Who are you?

What is it?

[Poldo gasps]

-What's this?
-Poldo, what happened to you?

-I don't know.
-Huh?

-I don't know. Aruba.
-Poldo, we're both girls.

You're a girl! We're like lesbians.

Hey, faster!

-Ta-da!
-[yelps]

How do you like it? Huh?

If the hero has a costume,
so does the sidekick

for the next adventure.

[Ada] Sister.

Have you heard of the terms…

"suits her…"

"shame…"

"ape"?

Ada, you're envious again.

Why? Are you the only creature
of God? Hmm?

You can't accept that I'm also talented.

Look. See? [screams]

Didi, you hurt your pecker again.

-Ouch, ouch, ouch!
-Why are you always hurting it?

-[woman moans]
-[man grunts]

-Monster! Monster!
-No. Hey, stop!

No, it's me. My hair just got messed up.

-[man] Hey! Hey!
-Come back here, let's continue this!

-[Britney] Come back!
-Hey! Hey!

-Oh, no! Oh, gosh!
-You! You!

-[man] I should've known!
-[Britney] That's was not me!

I'll kill you!

-[Britney screams]
-[gasps]

[in high-pitched voice]
What's this? What are these?

Britney! [screams] Britney!

-Uncle Adrian!
-What happened?

-Something happened to Poldo.
-[Ada] What?

What a beautiful girl!

Is there a Miss Gay pageant?

Why wasn't I informed? I'm so ready!

Thank God and the truth is out.

It's your fault.

You picked the wrong gender.

Now what?

Zsazsa, let's go! Faster!

[indistinct chatter]

-Why? What's happening here?
-[Zsazsa] Don't worry!

I'll take care of you. Trust me!

-What are we going to do?
-Don't worry. Don't worry.

-Zsazsa.
-[Didi] Father, what happened?

Their costumes are fabulous!

Is there a fair?

They don't look like second-hand clothes.

Maybe she's the new Miss Gay
and they're the runners-up

Ah.

Greetings!

Oh! Mighty female warrior.

I am Queen Femina Suarestellar Baroux.

-Who?
-And we Amazonistas

are from Planet XXX.

We have traversed the very fabric

of the great cosmos

to spread the gift of freedom

-from the male form Avanus.
-What is she saying?

And I chose your planet
to be the newest Planet XXX.

Oh, no!

To give strength to all females.

With your impressive abilities,

you have earned the rightful place
among the mighty Amazonistas.

Hmm? Come.

Join us!

They're foreigners!

I'll take care of them.

[scoffs] Go.

You go home and plant sweet potatoes…

[Zsazsa speaking gibberish]

[crowd gasping]

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

[cheering]

Is that cool?

Amazing! Hard-core!

[indistinct chatter]

Stop this nonsense and go back
to the fair you escaped from!

You will not aid and abet us?

Did you hear that? She said you have AIDS.

And she said I'm a mistress!

Then if you're not with us,

you are against us!

Watch and be amazed by what we can do!

[Didi and Zsazsa exclaiming]

[whirring]

[priest] Don't be afraid.

[laughs]

Sister, did you see that?
It's more powerful than your rock!

-What now?
-You can't do that!

Would you rather I kill them instead?

[Zsazsa grunts]

[crowd exclaiming]

Clap, all of you!

[crowd cheers]

[Queen Femina] How dare you!

You'll pay for this!

Amazonistas!

Prepare!

Are they for real?

[evil laugh]

What's that?

How did that happen?

♪ Lo and behold
The technological advancement ♪

♪ Genetic manipulation
And nano technology… ♪

What are they doing?

They even changed the sets.

This is what I was afraid of.

They're gathering strength
by mounting a special production number.

♪ To destroy and to kill ♪

♪ My powers are unique ♪

♪ My power knows no bounds ♪

♪ We're as fast as bullets ♪

♪ We're faster than the speed of sound ♪

-[gasps]
-Impressive.

♪ Pray all you want, Zaturnnah ♪

♪ Prepare to meet your doom… ♪

It's a combination of Maribeth Bichara
and Geleen Eugenio's choreography.

Correct.

[Queen Femina laughs]

Amazonistas!

Come, come, come, come.

Battle formation.

♪ Transmorphication, execution ♪

Nora A.

♪ Transmorphication, execution ♪

[Queen Femina] Sharon C.

♪ Transmorphication, execution ♪

[Queen Femina] Dina B.

And Vilma S!

[futuristic music plays]

Weapon re-enhancement,
sub-routine enabled.

[shrieks] She's naked!

[indistinct chatter]

They have the advantage now.

-They'll win the Bikini Open contest.
-[scoffs]

Girls, pictorial!

[camera shutter clicks]

[all] May I see?

-I'm so gorgeous!
-So beautiful!

Transmorphication complete.

We have to fight one-on-one.

I like that. Let's have a showdown then.

But I have to move away.
The townsfolk might get hurt.

[Didi] Zsazsa, I'm coming with you!

I shall follow her.

You take care of the townspeople.

[grunts]

[scoffs]

[Zsazsa grunts]

[Didi] Zsazsa, fight!

-[Didi] Oh! Oh!
-[grunts]

[groans]

[Didi] Don't let her win, fight!

There, there, there!

-[metal clanks]
-[Didi] Go, go!

Go, throw it! You can do it!

Go, go!

-[Zsazsa grunts]
-[gasps]

[thuds]

Yes! Nice!

[grunts]

[grunts]

Zsazsa! Go! You can handle that bitch!

Go, hit her!

Still fighting, huh? Go! Zsazsa!

Go, hit her! There, right there! Hit her!

[grunts]

[Didi] Go, Zsazsa!

No! Zsazsa, why did you run? Zsazsa!

Oh!

There, there, there! Zsazsa!

[both grunting]

[Didi] Go! Hit her! Yes!

You can do it! Go!

Go, hit her!

Go, Zsazsa! [laughs]

You can slay that slut!

Now what? You lost? [mocking]

[screams]

Didi!

Didi! Didi!

Animal! You animal!

[people screaming]

[Amazonistas] All of you, over there!
Hurry! Inside! All of you!

Shut up all of you! Stay there!

Gather them up!

-Shut up!
-Kneel!

[evil laugh]

Didi, say something!

Didi, don't leave me!

Didi!

Don't scream.

You're screeching like a hag.

[sobs]

Didi, don't leave me.

Ada, I won't die.

A beauty like mine never dies.

Long live us fags.

Huh? Didi, Didi!

-Didi!
-[snoring]

She's asleep?

My award-worthy acting was for nothing.

-Oh.
-Zaturnnah! Zaturnnah!

Go fight the enemies.
I'll take care of her.

But not here.

Many might get hurt.
Go to the abandoned warehouse.

For sure, the enemies
will follow you there.

Right.

-Thank you and…
-And?

Please take care.
They might turn you into a girl.

I'll go now.

Zsazsa, Zsazsa.

Zsazsa, take care!

[indistinct chatter]

Silence!

Amazonistas! Our enemy has escaped!

Let's go, girls!

Where are they? It's been 48 years!

This is a hard job, huh?

I'm talking to myself.

[crashing]

[grunts]

[metal clanging]

-[Queen Femina] Zaturnnah!
-[Zsazsa scoffs]

Why don't you join in our plan
to slay all the men on this planet?

What's your problem with men? Huh?

Listen and learn, woman.

Our actions are defined by our history,

not by some childish need
for preoccupation.

Your affections towards the males
of your species will be your downfall.

[Zsazsa] Hmm.

If only you had been there

when the women of our home planet

stood at the brink of total annihilation
many moons ago.

There are many moons on your planet?

No one can ever forget that fateful day

when our world's male forms voted
to subjugate the women race.

Many, many years ago,
we waged a war against our male forms.

It was the most violet conflagration
ever felt on Planet X.

We're not cruel, we're just getting even

for the cruelty and sufferings
which the men inflicted upon us.

♪ Fueled by greed and envy
They resorted to brutal violence ♪

♪ And that violence led
To the near extinction ♪

♪ Of the female race ♪

♪ Only a few women were left alive ♪

♪ They were turned into baby-makers ♪

♪ Still alive, but maybe better off dead ♪

♪ These women suffered in silence ♪

♪ Bereft of the right to speak ♪

♪ They suffered for 100 years ♪

♪ My mother's and my mother's mother
Were among those kept alive ♪

♪ They lived like animals ♪

♪ And died like animals ♪

♪ One day I decided
I won't have it anymore ♪

♪ I couldn't take it anymore
I made a ruckus ♪

♪ We rebelled and defeated them ♪

♪ And when we were strong enough ♪

♪ We women escaped ♪

With cunning, stealth, grace, and beauty,

we battled with the male forms
and triumphed,

without never to be conquered again.

Until now that remains true.

And I became their leader,

Queen Femina Suarestellar Baroux.

And one of my very first decrees

is the subjugation
of all male forms of the universe!

Idiot!

Civilization can't exist
if there are no males!

Civilization is rooted
in love and compassion.

But those are alien concept
to the male form minds.

Anathema to male form minds.

♪ They don't see us as equals
You know that, Zaturnnah ♪

♪ How many times have they left you? ♪

♪ How many times has a man hurt you? ♪

♪ I know how to forget ♪

♪ My heart can still forgive ♪

♪ Men may have wronged us ♪

♪ But your reasoning is wrong, too ♪

♪ Your curved logic is so wrong! ♪

♪ Their sins are unforgivable! ♪

♪ We know that, you and I ♪

♪ Their souls beyond redemption ♪

♪ These men deserve to die ♪

♪ Your heart's full of hatred
Anger and angst ♪

♪ You're creating doom and gloom ♪

♪ Wrecking and infesting the universe ♪

♪ Prepare to meet your doom ♪

♪ You can't defeat Zaturnnah ♪

♪ My moonless little sister ♪

♪ I've defeated so many ♪

♪ Kiss your dear Prince Charming goodbye ♪

♪ I am Zsazsa Zaturnnah! ♪

♪ You'll win over my dead body ♪

♪ Prepare to meet your doom, Zaturnnah ♪

♪ I'll defeat you even if I must die ♪

♪ There can only be one victor! ♪

♪ Dig your tomb ♪

♪ Your end is near! ♪

Your whole threats are useless.

Shut up! Enough talk!

How primitive an insult!

You still have lots of rice to eat.

[gasps] Hmm.

Amazonistas! Educate her!

[battle cry]

[metal clattering]

[grunts]

[grunts]

[explodes]

[yelling]

[Queen Femina yelling]

[Zsazsa groans]

My back! Bitches.

Attack!

[yelling]

[grunting]

Fire!

[grunting]

[battle cry]

[whirring]

[grunting]

[buzzing]

[screams]

[groans]

[laughing]

[Zsazsa coughs]

[Queen Femina] This is the end, Zaturnnah.

Your only choice is to join us.

[Zsazsa] Bitch. Over my dead body.

[screams]

[groans]

[crashes]

[Queen Femina]
Amazonistas! Regenerate yourselves!

Ha! Zaturnnah.

You have been a dutiful angel
to your people.

But angel wings break, too.

As I've said…

it was the male forms
that taught us the art of violence.

If we have to act like men

to triumph over all,

then that's what we'll do.

You hypocrite.

So you just wanted to act
and behave like men after all?

Then be envious
of what I'm about to show you.

[retches]

[explodes]

[all gasp]

[all exclaiming]

-[Nora A] Oh, my gosh!
-Ada and Zaturnnah are one?

-Ew!
-Male form? Not a woman?

Shocking! Confounding!

Bewildered, befuddled.

Help us, my queen.

It… it must be some form
of cloaking device.

[Queen Femina] Listen! Do not be deceived!

It's just a gimmick! [laughs]

[laughs mockingly]

We await your advisory, my queen.

What are you trying to say?

Do you want us to guess?

How many words? Three syllables?

[gagging]

Die, Zaturnnah!

[explodes]

[screaming]

Disgusting!

It's a vile male form from Planet XXX.

Our neo-genetic programming dictates…

That in the presence of a vile
male form from Planet XXX…

Our abilities will be better tenfold!

Engage!

Fellas!

I'm your queen!

[Vilma S] You're just
another vile male form!

[Nora A] Yes, Vilma S!

[Vilma S] Lift us up now!

[whooshing]

[all exclaiming]

[all laughing]

Ada!

Ada! Ada!

You know?

Yes. But don't worry, I won't tell anyone.

What's important now is for me
to get you home so you can rest.

Dodong, the rock is gone.

The Amazonistas might come back.

I don't care about the rock.
What's important is that you're safe.

Let's go.

[grunts]

A giant frog! A huge frog…

So many monsters, it was scary!

The Amazonistas were fought
by Uncle Adri--

Zaturnnah fought the Amazonistas.

Zaturnnah is amazing!
She's a great leaper.

Zsazsa defeated them.

She defeated them all! She's so strong.

All of us fought, it was really scary.

They even turned us into girls.

I thought Arubabes and I
wouldn't end up together.

I'm now in love with Zaturnnah.

[birds chirping]

♪ How do you measure your masculinity? ♪

♪ Is it the deepness of your voice? ♪

♪ Or the strength of your posture? ♪

♪ Can masculinity be measured ♪

♪ By the number of people
You vowed to love? ♪

♪ Counting all the people I've met ♪

♪ You're the one I admired ♪

♪ In the courage and tenderness
In your heart ♪

♪ And the safety of all you love ♪

♪ You hold in your hands ♪

♪ You ♪

♪ Are the superhero of my life ♪

♪ You ♪

♪ You may not know how to fly ♪

♪ But you have gone a long way ♪

♪ I want to be with you ♪

♪ Wherever you go ♪

♪ Let me go with you ♪

♪ Let's see the world together ♪

♪ You ♪

♪ You are the superhero of my life ♪

♪ You ♪

You're going back to Manila, Arubabes?

You're going to leave me.

We can text each other.

There's unlimited texting.
Have you registered?

We should have gotten married
when we were both girls.

Poldo, if you really love me,
you'll wait for me.

Till when, Arubabes?

We're just 15 years old.

Didi, leave the trophy. That's just trash.

I don't want to.
It's my only Miss Gay title.

Even though only two of us joined.

I thought you said Manila is chaotic.
Why are you going back there?

[Aruba] Bye, Poldo.

That's enough. It's time to go.

-I'll carry this.
-Thank you.

-I'm not thinking straight.
-[Didi groans]

Maybe that's where I'm meant to be.

Slowly, I'm beginning to realize

that there's no room for me here.

Promise me, okay?

-I promise.
-Wait a minute.

Where's Dodong? You won't even say
goodbye properly to him?

You're the one I love.

Text me, okay?

-I'll miss you.
-Dodong saw Zaturnnah become Ada.

Are you sure you're okay?

I guess that's Zaturnnah's
farewell to Dodong.

That's also my farewell to him.

-You'll write to me, okay?
-Sure.

-I'll give you our address there.
-[Poldo] Mm-hmm.

Let's go. Hey, we're leaving. Bye.

[Ada] Bye, Poldo.

[priest and woman] Ada.

Father.

Can't we convince you to stay?

No, you can't. Thank you.

Ada, Krystal said she's sorry.

She went to the audition for Japan.

-[Britney] Hi, Father. Ada.
-[Justin] Father. Cassandra.

[Britney and Ada] Mmm-mmm.

No one's going to make me
beautiful anymore.

-You're already beautiful.
-That's right.

-Bye, Justin.
-Bye.

[Britney] Mmm.

-God bless you.
-You take care.

-Bye-bye.
-Bye.

Ada, take care, bye-bye.

[Ada] Bye! Bye!

Ada!

Ada! Stop the jeep!

Ada!

-Stop the jeep.
-[Dodong] Ada!

Bye!

It's Dodong.

Be quick, Dodong!

What are you doing?

Are you leaving already?

Why? Do we still have unpaid debts?

Hey, look. [giggles]

I'm coming with you.

-Why? Where?
-To Manila.

If you'll let me.

-What will you do there?
-I just want to be with you.

I won't be a burden.

I could be a carpenter, a waterboy.

A debt collector or race runner.

But why?

Don't ask why.

I like you, Ada.

Come on, Dodong.

I told you the rock isn't with me anymore.

I have no hope of being a girl.

I don't need the rock to like you, Ada.

♪ You showed me there is more to life ♪

♪ Than the peace and quiet I was used to ♪

Aw…

♪ Like you, I started dreaming ♪

♪ You brought life to my tiny world ♪

♪ You ♪

♪ You're the superhero of my life ♪

♪ You ♪

♪ Though you can't fly ♪

♪ You took my heart up to the heavens ♪

♪ Come with me ♪

♪ Stay beside me ♪

♪ I'll take you where you belong ♪

♪ Here in my arms ♪

♪ You'll sleep soundly ♪

I realized last night,

I can't let you leave me.

Can I court you?

[gasps]

[Ada] ♪ Forgive me ♪

♪ If I don't believe you ♪

♪ My heart's been burned many times ♪

♪ I wasn't expecting this ♪

♪ But I've been dreaming of it
For such a long time ♪

♪ You ♪

♪ You are the superhero of my life ♪

-♪ You ♪
-♪ You ♪

♪ My love and my romance ♪

♪ A love that recognizes
Neither color nor name ♪

♪ I want to learn how to love ♪

♪ Someone like you ♪

♪ Teach me how ♪

♪ Teach me now ♪

[sighs]

♪ You are the superhero of my life ♪

♪ You are my Krystala ♪

♪ And my Darna ♪

♪ My Sugo and my Mulawin ♪

♪ My Lastikman and my Gagamboy ♪

♪ My Volta and my Captain Barbell ♪

♪ You are my superhero ♪

♪ You are the superhero ♪

♪ Of my life ♪

♪ Zsazsa Zaturnnah ♪

♪ Victorious! ♪

♪ A winner! Triumphant! ♪

[cheering]

[Didi] I'm jealous of these two!

[train horn honks]

[keypad beeps]

Hello? My Poldo? I miss you.

We just got here.

Get off, I'm going to sing.

Yes. [laughs]

♪ I saw a blinding light ♪

[Aruba] You miss me already?

♪ I need to… ♪

-Ouch!
-Sourpuss.

I'll go there one of these days.

It's almost Christmas, I'll miss you more.

You didn't even say goodbye to your folks.

Poldo will take care of it.

What's important

is that we're together.

[Didi] ♪ I hope you'll never forget me ♪

Ada. Next song, it's your turn.

-Ada, it's your song, come on.
-Wait a second.

Come here.

♪ Friendship is all I wanted ♪

♪ From you ♪

[both giggle]

♪ Don't be mad if you don't want me ♪

♪ I'll just say goodbye ♪

♪ If you accept me ♪

♪ I super-duper ♪

♪ Thank you ♪

♪ Aaah… ♪

-[object clangs]
-[Didi] What was that?

[gasps]

[sizzling]

Did you bring your costume?

Part two?

[Didi] Hmm.

["Victoria! Winner! Tagumpay!" plays]

["Babae Na Ako" plays]

[song ends]