Zero 2 (2010) - full transcript
When the under-worlds of crime and show-biz collide, hit-men buddies Max and Sylvester are suddenly thrown in the midst of bizarre events and soap-like drama. Faced with the onslaught of sleazy intrigues and silicon boobs, friends must still complete their task - retrieve a missing shipment of drugs. And then, there's also a kidnapped delivery boy to save, loads of people to kill, dangerous women to love. The trick is not to lose your head. Or your balls. Whichever goes first.
KINO KULTASAND MEED FILMS
PRESENT
Soap opera is a TV format
characterised by over-exaggeration,
pomposity, idealism, and a banal
representation of the world
that surrounds the characters.
Featuring obvious opposition of
good and evil,
with clear boundaries in social
relations, one-sided characters etc.
You are fucking late. Thought
you wouldn't come at all! Hi there!
Hi! You got them?
l got them, l got them...
That's it, fuck off...
Have you got the cash?
Maybe you fucking show
them to us first!
Show?... You show them
and then they take fucking nothing...
Here, new model, with new badges,
everything in order.
Looks like they aren't fucking new!
What's not new?
Take a fucking look, they stink,
fucking smell them yourself.
Who told you they would be new?
So they stink. You fucking clean them,
l'm not a fucking laundry.
Where are the hats?
There is a hat!
Are you fucking me around?
How will l look without a hat?
Maybe you won't loose your
fucking brain without that hat.
l haven't got it,
l didn't fucking get it.
What are these trousers!
What the fuck will l
Iook like in these trousers?
So what? Trousers are trousers.
What's your problem?
There are no fucking buttons!
There is no fucking belt!
And you want me to believe
that they are new!
l'm not sewing these trousers,
for fuck's sake!
l'm not a fucking tailor,
where would l get these buttons from?
Ok, how much do you want?
300 for one.
Are you a moron,
300 for this rag?
And without a hat!
Guys, if you don't like them,
you can sew them yourselves!
You want shitloads of money
for this fucking shit!
lt isn't shit, Sasha.
200.
Sasha, fucking hell,
l ain't gonna back down.
There is one hat, nothing is new,
you are selling shit. 250.
Does this look like a market?
Am l selling fucking sunflower seeds?
Guys, if you don't like it,
give me back the stuff!
l'll sell it to someone else!
Fuck, if you need anything,
l've got various cops' batons,
l've got handcuffs,
winter uniforms
l've got good shoes.
Call me!
VILNIUS - EUROPEAN CAPITAL
OF CULTURE
Directed by
Emilis Velyvis
l don't know anything.
Donce, fuck...
Fuck off...
l can't fucking take it any more...
C'mon, fucking c'mon...
Get up!
Damn it... Where's the car!
l can't stand this...
Get up, Donce, get up.
Fuck... Fucking come here!
Get the fuck out of the car!
We didn't mean it...
C'mon, all of you get out
of the bloody car.
Fucking come here!
Maybe, we can make a deal,
l'm a famous actor.
l don't give a shit who you are,
fucking stand still!
Zenka, give him all you've got!
But...
Give me eveything,
c'mon, let's do this...
Zenka, give him all you've got!
You stupid bitch, you hit a guy,
you fucking ran over
an omcer of the law!
How much have you got?
l haven't got anything now.
Tomorrow in the morning,
20 grand!
l can't find that much so quickly.
l don't give a fuck
whether you find it or not,
all of you chip in,
and if l don't have
the money tomorrow,
l will fucking kill you!
Fuck you...
l will fucking find you, arsehole!
l will fucking find you, arsehole!
PART 1
SYLVESTER, MAXAND 1000 EUROS
MORNING OF THE NEXT DAY
Hello.
Damn it, you've got a nerve...
Haven't heard from you
for ages, Sylvester.
Have you read the morning newspapers?
l don't read newspapers.
Just so you know, they found 2 men
shot in the chest, shot to hell.
So, what do you want from me?
l want to get the chink back,
with the whole package.
l don't deal with this anymore.
l was transferred to another department.
Send your guys and l guarantee
that by dinner time you'll be happy.
l do not rely on people who work
in a building with slanting windows.
l need you, there were cops.
Do you hear me? There were cops there.
l just don't get it.
Why did they have to shoot at my people?
l don't want anything,
l don't need anything,
l want just one thing:
to provide for my retirement.
l won't let you down,
you know me.
- When did he disappear?
- Yesterday.
Drive to Max's,
he will tell you more.
Max is on holidays.
His honeymoon is over,
l was talking to him.
- What? He got married?
- Yes. And collect your toys.
Haven't seen you for ages, Sylvester!
You are not aging, for fuck's sake,
what are you eating?
l was born old, Sylvester,
l'm only eating young women.
- l need two, full.
- l know.
One for you, one for Max.
- Do you see him around here often?
- l saw him a while ago.
- Did you hear that he got married?
-Yeah.
- Do you know who his wife is?
- No.
l never miss an episode with her.
A wonderful woman.
lf she looks the same as she does on TV,
l would eat her with pleasure.
l don't watch soap operas.
So don't watch soap operas, watch her.
Watch and you'll see what l mean.
Ok, l'll watch.
Sylvester, she likes red roses.
This one is also blocked.
Nonsense, it was all OK yesterday.
Unfortunately,
now it's definitely blocked.
How much do l have to pay?
ln total 83.14.
lf l don't take brandy, cigarettes,
how much for fuel?
Count everything, l'll pay.
No, thank you, there is no need, but...
l'll just drive home and come back.
Don't wory, it's not a problem for me.
Please, l'll take these roses too.
- Thanks a lot. Thank you.
- Not at all.
- Thank you.
- You are welcome.
- l'm Caroline.
- Sylvester.
Shall we have some coffee?
l've got some business
to take care of.
10 minutes.
We'll drink some coffee,
so l don't feel like l owe you.
OK.
Don't say anything!
l'll kill that bitch myself.
- Congratulations!
- Who is this for?
l dunno.
Maybe for your wife.
For my wife?
Are you taking the piss, Sylvester?
Fucking look at what l'm wearing!
l can't get into my flat
'cause that bitch wouldn't let me in.
Have you got a cigarette?
Have you been to Bronius?
We have to visit Vova.
Who's Vova?
Vova... Vova is a dead man.
Talk, you piece of shit, because these
are the last words l will hear from you.
Sasha!
Which Sasha?
Sasha, the fat one...
- Do you know him?
- l have no fucking idea who he is.
The address?
- In the lofts by the market...
- Number?
On the second floor, opposite
the restaurant. It's definitely not me...
For fuck's sake!
- Have you got a belly?
- Seems like l've got one.
- Who is this Tom Waits?
- l don't know.
Why the fuck did you buy it
if you don't know who he is?
l didn't buy it, it was given to me.
So, is it your birthday today?
A woman gave it to me for some reason.
- Did you finally find a girl?
- l didn't say that.
Well, there's nothing wrong
with chatting someone up.
l didn't chat anyone up.
l got acquainted with a woman,
we had a coffee, she presented me a CD.
That's how you should have
started the stoy.
Anmay, nobody gives gifts by accident.
There's nothing between us.
l've only seen her once.
So, what, haven't you screwed her yet?
- Max, she is a married woman.
- So what?
What does ''so what'' mean?!
Would you like it if l was banging
your wife without you knowing it?
Don't fucking exaggerate.
We are partners, Sylvester!
Of course, l wouldn't like it.
But l'm talking in general.
lf someone, who l don't know, was
banging my wife and l didn't find out,
l wouldn't give fuck about it,
cause l wouldn't know about it.
lf l didn't know it,
it wouldn't bother me.
There's more to it, Max,
it's a matter of principle.
You want to say that you wouldn't bang
a married woman even if she wanted it?
Because of some shitty principle?
This principle is far from shitty.
l divorced with my wife, because
someone was banging her for half a year.
When l found out,
l didn't feel so great.
lt's a shitty business. Shitty!
l don'twant to be a shithead,
that is what this principle is about!
But you fancied her, Sylvester?
l did, so what?
- But if you didn't have long to live?
- So, what?
Well, if you knew that you were going
to die, your principles wouldn't change?
lf, if, if...
l bet a thousand euros that a man's
principles would change in that situation.
l don't think so.
- A thousand euros!
- OK.
A thousand euros?!
Ask Vova if he has a jack?
- Vova, haveyou got a jack?
- No.
Cut that shit out, bitch.
Where are the keys?
ln the car, in the car, fuck...
Wow, wow, wow, so fucking far,
so fucking good.
- Sylvester, our Vova knows more.
- What's that?
lt's better to see it rather than tell.
Yeah, haven't seen
something like this for a while.
Guys, you know, l swear,
you know, it's not me.
l don't care who it is anymore.
Get inside.
- But, guys, listen...
- Lie down, for fuck's sake.
- Would you screw a married woman?
- What?
ln the arse, for fuck's sake.
l'm asking if you were ever
screwing somebody's woman?
- What?
-Am l not making myself clear?
l don't understand the question.
Are you fucking deaf?
l'm asking you if you ever
fucked a married woman.
Guys, you know,
l wasn't screwing around.
You've definitely got something
mixed up, l don't know anything.
What the fuck does
''l don't know'' mean?
- Is the question too dificult?
- No.
So, answer me then!
There's a thousand euros at stake.
- Guys, get me, l...
-Answer the question!
Guys, l don't know, you know,
probably no, l wouldn't.
l don't know. No, guys, no, no...
l don't know. No, guys, no, no...
For fuck's sake, a thousand euros...
PART 2
THE DEATH OF THE SILVERCRANE
THREE HOURS EARLIER
Here... Three...
Fucking 3? l said 20!
l can't find anymore,
there's nothing at home.
So, search somewhere else, you faggot!
Give me the cards.
l've cleaned eveything out,
there is nothing left.
You better fucking search faster, 'cause
if l don't get the cash by this evening,
l'll turn you into the cops.
lf l turn you in, then all you fuckers
will go to jail for a longtime!
You get me?
So do you love me?
What are you saying?
l love you! l'm happy!
Naughty boy, how could you,
l'm still your wife!
Cut!
Here's that brandy you asked for.
l don't need brandy, l need a doctor.
Look at my leg!
- Does it hurt a lot?
- No, shit... it feels great.
Kiesha, what the fuck are you
talking about?
lt was always OK,
but now l'm not suitable?
l don't get it.
There's nothing to get here.
Television needs tits,
you don't have them.
lf you want the lead role,
you get tits.
How will l get them?
Simple, like eveyone else,
go to a fucking surgeon.
You fucking nuts? l can't even imagine
how my husband will react to that.
Monika, l don't give a fuck about
your husband's reaction.
l've got plenty of my own problems,
and you are bothering me with yours.
Television need tits.
lf you want the lead role,you get tits,
and if you don't want any problems,
you take the roles that l offer you.
That's it.
Say what we wrote,
otherwise l won't be able to edit it.
Wow, buongiorno! Wait, wait...
What are you staring at?
Why didn't you lock the door?
Me? You came here first,
you could've locked it.
- What happened to her?
- Fuck...Let's go to her place.
l can't really,
l have to finish the casting.
What do you mean you fucking can't,
l will shove your casting up your arse!
Go, hold her!
He's thinking about casting...
Vita, Vita, stop, wait!
What?
An entire human hand, covered in blood,
caught on the front wheel!
Oh, wow, how the fuck did it get there?
C'mon, sort it out, l have to go.
Kiesha, l won't sort it out.
Are you stupid?
l have to go to Vita's.
l can't, l will be sick.
Zenka, if l don't catch Vita,
we will go to jail for a very long time.
Andwhen we get tothejail
you can vomit.
Sojust sort eveything out
and give me your car.
Waiting forAdolfas....
What is this?
l need a bag,
something to keep this in.
- l'm asking you what is here!
- Better don't look!
Zenka, are you mad?
Where did you get this hand from?
Just don't ask,
it was under the car.
Under which car?
Under which? Under which?
Under that car!
Zenka, l can definitely tell you now,
that we are going to jail.
Why the fuck did you
bring this hand here?
- Where was l supposed to put it?
-Where? Where? Throw it away!
Where to throw it away?
In the street?
l dunno, in a forest,
in a river, anywhere.
Normally l wouldn't ask you,
but l badly need some advance payment.
After all l've seen?
Vita, Vita, Vita...
We had an agreement.
The agreement is cancelled!
All the actors are approved,
l agreed eveything with TV station,
the only thing missing
is your sponsorship.
Are you a fucking idiot
or are you deaf?
l just said that l won't
participate any longer!
For fuck's sake, Vita!
Vita, what do l have to do
to get at least part of that money?
This mineral water has to be
in the hands of every actor,
and must be seen in every shot!
Are we agreed on that?
Yes, but l need money
in advance...
Here is what we agreed.
l will walk...
For fuck's sake... Get out, dickhead!
And you too, bitch!
- Who is this idiot?
- Fuck, that's my husband.
l'll fucking show you...
Get out, dickhead!
Fucking idiot! Get away from the car!
Leave the car alone!
Stop... You stupid fucking dickhead,
you're fucked now...
- Hello.
- Where are you?
Fucking where?
l'm fucking catching hands in the river!
Ok, l got the money,
get yourself here.
- No,you fucking come here.
- l can't, your car's broken.
How is it broken?
lt's completely fucked up!
Understand? Just come here.
Fucking hell...
PART 3
A 7500 LITAS SOAP OPERA
Right... and what about me?
Really, he said so?
Listen, it wasn't like that,
he was hitting on me.
What? No... listen,
l can't talk right now.
Call me after about 20 minutes,
'cause l'm seeing him this evening.
Ok, bye.
- Hi!
- Hi!
- l ordered you a coffee.
-Thanks.
- So...
- What?
So, tell me, what's up?
l need tits.
At last, l've been telling you this
the whole time.
Tell me how.
There's nothing to tell -
you go to the surgeon,
choose the size of the implant
and that's it.
And which size is yours?
C. But you can choose any- D or F.
The bigger the boobs
the more obvious they're fake, though.
Did it hurt?
Thanks.
And how much did it cost?
Ten grand,
including eveything, you know.
- Ten thousand?
- That's the price.
You can look for something cheaper
but then you'll risk the quality.
Where will l get the money?
From your husband.
Ok,then you can do it my way.
By taking a loan.
Of course, it will take longer, all the
paperwork, but it's better than nothing.
So here's the clinic's card.
Go there, they will give you a discount.
l must go to work.
- Bye.
- l'm so glad you've made the decision.
Right now we have reduced prices
for breast aumentation.
The operation will cost 8000,
but with your discount it will be 7500.
So what size are you interested in?
Does it affect the price?
No, all sizes costthe same.
Please, take this.
lt'll help you to understand
the services that our company provides.
l think it will make your choice easier.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
Monica.
What's the matter?
Monica, give me the damn towel,
l don't have anything to clean up with...
Here you go.
- Where were you?
- At work, we were shooting.
- And how was it?
- Ok.
- l think l'm gonna get one more role.
- Cool.
Are you going somewhere?
Yeah, l have something to do,
l'll be back in the evening.
l need to talk to you.
Ok, we can talk in the evening.
lt's really really important for me.
Get dressed, l'll wait.
So?
Max, l need some money.
How much?
What?
l need it badly, l could pay you back
little by little every month.
Why the hell do you need so much?
l don't want any arguments,
l just want you to like me more.
l like you the way you are.
l don't feel good,
l don't like the way l look
so l've decided to get breast implants.
Are you stupid?
Don't...
Why do you need a bigger fucking chest?
Well, because l have a small chest.
Your chest is fine.
No, it isn't, Max, it isn't.
And that's why l need money
for the operation.
Seriously? Over my dead body.
My career and my whole
life depends on it.
l want to act,
l want to get back on stage.
So get the fuck back
on the bloody stage.
Why the fuck do you need
big tits for that?
You don't want me to look prettier?
You look pretty to me, otherwise
why the fuck would l have married you?
l want to be happy.
Yeah right, you'd be happy
with some plastic instead of tits?
lt's not plastic, it's silicon.
lt makes no fucking difference!
And you have to pay 7 and a half
grand for that shit!
That's fucking crazy!
lf you don't give me the money
l'll take a loan and pay for it myself.
- Take what?
- A loan. l'll take a loan from a bank.
You take that loan, l'll stuff that loan
up your arse and fuck you hard.
OK, fuck me,
but give me the money first.
- Where's my lighter?
- l don't know where your lighter is.
-You could take out the trash.
- Take out the trash yourself.
The fucking bankis gonna
buy her tits... damn.
Monica, open the door, open
the fucking door, l need to get changed.
l won't open the door unless you promise
to lend me the money.
C'mon, open the fucking door
and we'll have a talk.
First you have to promise.
l'll promise you fuck all.
l'm standing in my dressing gown
like some kind of queer,
so open the fucking door.
Max, l want the tits.
l'll buy you those fucking tits,
just open the goddamn door.
Max, l want the tits and l want you
to buy them for me.
Monica, l paid for our wedding,
for all of your fucking dresses,
for the honeymoon,
for all the goddamn trips
and now you're talking
to me like this.
Max, you only see yourself.
You only see yourself and when l need
some help you don't help me.
You will miss the money or what?
Yes, l will miss those fucking 7500
which you will tuck in your breasts
and wear for the rest of your life.
Open the door you cunt,
or l'll fucking kick it down.
No, l won't open it, Max.
l want those tits, l need those tits.
Buy me the tits, l want those tits,
l want those tits...
You know, l need those tits, those
damn tits, are you short on money?
How much do they cost, you moron,
can't you support me, huh?
Should l borrow the money myself?
You made me hysterical
about the damn tits...
ls somebody calling for me?
l don't know, maybe...
Monica, open the damn door...
let me in.
l won't unless you promise me.
Answer the call, for fuck's sake.
- It's Sylvester.
- Who?
A guy called Sylvester.
Ok, bitch, now listen to me carefully.
l have to leave right away,
l have some urgent things to do
and l can't come in
because you won't open the damn door...
l can't come into my fucking home...
l swear, l'll think about the money
and those plastic things
you want to put inside your body.
But baby, l beg you,
open the door... please... please...
No, Max, thinking is not enough.
Open the door, you fucking cunt...
Open the fucking door...
No!
Fucking hell, l'll kill you.
This is totally out of order...
Don't say a word,
l'll kill the cunt myself...
PART 4
JACKIE CHAN, RICE AND SILICON
Ok, so the truck comes in
the chink comes out,
you take him and then l come by.
Why the fuck do we need the chink?
We're here for the stuff,
not a fucking chink...
Take it easy, no panic, understood?
- Ok, staycool, man.
- l'm cool.
All right now...
you're taking the stuff...
Then you get into the carand leave.
The stuff, the car, leave...
And if the chink is a fucking
karate man?
Like fucking Jackie Chan?
Who's fucking Jackie Chan?
Don't you know Jackie Chan?
Don't you watch any fucking movies?
Maybe they brought some
fucking Japanese retard?
You're the fucking retard, man.
Jackie Chan is Chinese, not Japanese.
How should l fucking know that?
Chinese, Japanese...
All the chinks look the same.
Look, we've got it...
Ok now, don't fucking panic.
Easy, hands behind your head...
hands behind your head.
Donce, take the case.
- Fucking hell.
- What?
-The case is cuffed.
- To what?
The case is cuffed to his hand.
So take the chink too.
Guys, l have the keys...
Hey, dead man...
Did l ask you anything?
Put your hands behind your head.
Higher.
What the fuck is going on?
Vova, fucking hell...
l got hit in the leg...
What the fuck is going on?
- That fucking bastard hit me in the leg...
- Give it to me...
Vova, l'm gonna die...
l will take care of you,
easy, motherfucker...
Easy?! My fucking leg was hit!
C'mon, l'll take you to the hospital...
Are you fucking crazy?
Do you have the money?
l'm cool, all l'm saying
is that we had a different deal.
l did my job, l get the cash
and l go on vacation right away.
l'm cool!
And bring him something to eat,
'cause l didn't give him anything.
'Cause l haven't eaten myself.
Ok, ok, right. l'll bring the food
and you are coming here, right?
Ok. l'm cool...
l write scripts.
What scripts?
You heard it, dumbass.
Movie scripts.
- What movies?
- Movies for TV...
l told some guy a couple of stories
and he liked them.
Then he asked
if l could write some more.
- What stories?
- About life.
Do l also appear in those stories?
- More or less.
- More or less?
Are you fucking retarded?
The names and surnames are changed.
Only a part of the stoy is left.
That's all.
That's all? Have you ever asked me if
l want you telling my story to some guy?
Damn it, Lika! The stories are just
soap opera and that's it.
Millions of people all over the world
watch those stories every day
and nobody cares
if they're fucking real or not.
So why the fuck are you telling them
if nobody fucking cares
if they're real or not?
l don't know.
They seemed interesting for me.
- You know what?
- What?
Fuck you!
Damn it, Lika. l told you
l hate it with eggs.
Go fuck yourself
if you don't like it.
How many times have l told you
that eggs are no good forme.
Drink it yourself if you want it
and make me one without any eggs.
Can you make a drink
without any fucking eggs for once?
Give it to the chink.
Well, Jackie Chan?
Will you have a drink?
Wanna eat?
Lika, buy him some rice, l have no idea
what else they eat there. You hear me?
Buy it yourself,
l have fuck all to do with it.
Lika, you get dressed and get the fuck
out of here to buy some fucking rice.
Do you hear me?
Fuck you and your rice!
Watch your language, bitch,
and remember who's wearing
the trousers in this house.
A trouser-wearing fucking poet, go and
write some lines about the chink!
l won't say this again - go get dressed
and go buy the fucking rice.
Fuck you!
Fuck off.
Are you sure it's here?
l don't know. Vova told me
that it's somewhere around the lofts.
- Are you hungy?
- Huh?
- l'm asking, are you hungy?
- Nope.
Mate, could you buy me lunch?
Remember, you owe me
a thousand euros.
Yeah, l know that, so what?
lf l knew this was going to happen
l would have brought my fucking wallet.
Ok, l'll give you some cash,
but l ain't going anywhere.
You want me to go? Look at me,
l'm not dressed properly.
l can't go there.
l'm vey interested, why?
Think what you like, but l don't go
to cafes or restaurants or bars.
l don't get it. Do you have something
against Asians?
l like Asians.
l just don't go to public
eating houses on principle.
You're fucking crazy, man.
How many damn principles
do you have?
On principle...
- Good afternoon.
- Hi.
Take a seat.
l'd like to make an order to go.
Chicken with mushrooms
and sea cabbage.
Ok, 18.50.
Keep the change.
Thanks. Take a seat,
it'll take a while.
- Thanks, but l'll stand.
- OK.
- Good afternoon.
- Good afternoon.
l'd like rice for two to go.
- Just rice?
- Just rice.
6.2O
- Take a seat, it'll take a while.
- l'll wait. What the fuck...
Something's wrong?
No, everything's fine.
lt's just that l've never seen a gay guy
in a Chinese restaurant wearing a robe.
Let's eat.
Lika, what is this?
lt's what you asked for.
But it's just rice. Where's the meat
and vegetables and stuff?
You didn't ask for that.
Lika, can you do anything right
just once in your life?
ls it so hard to understand
what l mean?
l asked you to bring food, and you don't
understand that rice won't be enough?
You should ask the chink,
he understands you very well.
l don't know if you're married
but l guess it's a woman... eat!
l guess you have a woman and if you do
you understand me completely.
l know that you see
and understand everything.
You're a fucking whacko.
Sasha, he doesn't understand a word
you're tellin' him.
Well, maybe he doesn't
understand my words,
but he understands my feelings
perfectly- it's universal.
Ooh, fucking poety.
Listen to us, we're getting smarter
every fucking hour.
You'll never understand this.
Open the door.
Do it yourself.
It's for you anyways.
Can't you see that l'm feeding
the chink?
l don't give a fuck,
that ain't my problem.
Lika, you're asking for it.
Oh, fuck!
Why did you shoot you that bitch?
l made it even between us.
Shut the fuck up! You wanna go too,
like your lady just did?
Motherfucker...
Wow, did you get your bitch
those plastic tits?
What?
l asked, did you get your bitch
those silicone tits?
Yeah.
Well, how much?
l dunno.
Don't gimme that shit.
You got your bitch a pair
of silicone tits
and you don't know
how much they cost?
She said she got them
for ten grand.
Get outta here.
Ten grand for a pair of
fucking silicone tits.
You heard that, Sylvester?
l don't know much about tit prices.
There's nothing to know.
My bitch is asking for them too.
Seven and a halfgrand.
This dickhead here paid ten.
You're fucking nuts?
You don't like big breasts?
l like tits. l really do,
l simply don't like silicone ones.
What's the difference?
It's inside, you can't see a thing.
Of course you can't see them,
but you can feel them.
There is a difference,
a rather significant difference.
You don't see it,
but you know
that there's some shit
inside your bitch's tits.
Some fucking plastic.
You touch them, you stroke them
and you fucking keep thinking that
there's some fucking silicone inside.
Would you fucking pretend
there's nothing inside?
l don't know,
l've never thought about it.
Sylvester, have you ever seen silicone?
What do you mean?
Have you ever seen silicone
in its purest form?
l have not.
lt would be a sin
to miss an opportunity
to see the silicone for ten grand,
wouldn't it?
You're sick, you're fucking sick,
you know that?
l've never seen anyone cut
into a girl's tits.
Why in the world would you need
that silicone anyway?
l'll take it back to my bitch, so she
can fucking see it with her own eyes.
You're sick, Max!
You're sick!
l'm sick?
Well is it not a sick thing to pay
ten grand for this shit?
That is vanity, Max, and the bigger it
is the more expensive it gets.
But what you just did here
is sick, sick!
l don't give a fuck.
You tell your bitch about your vanity.
l bet you'd spend a week
on the street after that.
ls this fucker OK?
You put that shit inside
your wife for ten grand.
Was it worth it?
Was it fucking worth it?
She wasn't my wife.
- What's that supposed to mean?
- The fucking obvious.
She's wearing a ring.
She was married.
You telling me that your bitch
was somebody's wife?
Yes.
You're fucking nuts? Do you know
where you're going?
Where did you fuckin come from?
Hey! You're OK?
l'm not totally OK...
l can see that, sicko. Motherfucker,
you're lucky we didn't kill you.
- Sasha, stop!
- Get in the car.
Good morning, arseboy.
- You're fucked up.
- l'm fucked up?
- Yeah, you're fucked up!
- We'll see who's fucked up.
You'll be buying your bitch a dildo.
She won't have anything to fuck soon.
- You just try that motherfucker.
- Try? Try l will...
l'll tear you apart motherfucker.
l'll kill you motherfucker.
PART 5
SYLVESTERS GUN, PRINCIPLES AND 1000 EUROS
They're for your wife?
Come again?
The flowers.
Oh, no, they're for my colleague.
He just got married.
Would you like some?
No, l'm on duty.
That gun, must be your duty?
l'm an omcer, but l don't
carry it all the time.
Perhaps when you're alone,
naked and in bed.
l have another gun when l'm naked.
What caliber?
lf this one is 9,
the other is around 18.
You're a married woman.
You didn't ask if l'm
a happily married woman.
That's not my business.
Don't hide it, Sylvester,
l attract you sexually.
We've just got acquainted.
We didn't even have a coffee yet
and you're already telling me
that l like you.
Do you often pay women's gas bills?
l paid for your bill because
l don't usually meet women
whose credit cards get blocked.
You're one of those men
who show that they like women.
l'll take that.
When was the last time
you danced, Sylvester?
Excuse me?
l'd like to dance with you.
- Where?
- Here.
We're in a gas station.
So what. l've never
danced in a gas station.
l don't dance.
Listen, l've already told you-
you're a married woman.
l don't want any trouble.
Sylvester, l'm not asking you
to sleep with me in a gas station,
l just want to thank you.
lt was so close.
He nearly cut my balls off!
You're a lucky man.
ls that a joke?
He's real crazy. l told you.
- Get out.
- What's up with you, Sylvester.
What's wrong, Sylvester.
What are you looking for, man?
My police gun, l put it under
the papers. It's not here.
Look under the seat, maybe it's...
l've looked under the goddamn seat,
it's not there.
Get out, get out, sit down.
lt's her, it's her.
Sylvester, l wasn't
expecting to see you.
Where's my gun?
Let me go, you're hurting me!
l'll hurt you even more.
C'mon, show me.
- Where?
- There on the table.
Three bullets are missing.
Could you move out of the way,
l can't get through.
l can't.
l said l can't get through,
could you move the car aside?
Don't you understand asshole?
l can't.
Faggot in a gay robe.
- Who is he?
- My husband.
For fuck's sake, Caroline, you fucked up
your man with my police gun.
l wanted to scare him.
With three bullets?
What did he do to you?
Why did you do it?
What did he do to me?
Look what he did to me.
l got money, here, Sylvester, please,
help me, l don't have anything else...
What are you doing, Sylvester?
Sit down.
Max, what are you doing there?
- Who is he?
- How should l know?
- Where's your bathroom?
- There.
Who is he?
Fuck.
Tell me what's going on.
lsn't it obvious?
This stupid bitch fucked up her man
with my service gun.
Where are his things?
- Which things?
- All the things.
He went away on a holiday,
a very long holiday.
Where did he go?
What's the fucking difference?
l'll have to say something,
l'm still his wife.
To Rhodes.
Where is Rhodes?
ln Greece.
He wasn't fond of Greece.
For fuck's sake, Caroline, l don't care
about his likes and dislikes,
you tell me where he went.
Listen, Sylvester, it seems rather weird
that a man went on holiday
to a place which he hates.
l don't give a shit who he was.
That's your problem
and your responsibility.
Max don't just stand there,
give me a hand.
Hang on. l don't get it.
How did she get your gun?
lt's a fucking long stoy, l don't have
time for that. Give me a hand.
Wait a second.
Here lies the body of some dumbfuck,
who was shot with your gun.
Right next to him sits this dumbfuck's
bitch, who somehow stole your gun.
l don't understand a fucking thing.
Alright, Max, we'll deal with this.
We? l'm not involved in this and
l don't want to get involved.
We're colleagues.
We're colleagues at work,
but this is your personal life.
When you cut that slut's tits
l fucking didn't do a thing.
That slut's tits weren't
your fucking business.
l saved your fucking balls.
Without me you'd be carying
your balls in you hand.
Alright.
But first, l have to win
my thousand euros back.
- From who?
- From her.
What if you lose?
l'll owe you fucking
two thousand euros.
Would you fuck a married man?
- Sylvester, what's going on?
- Answer the question.
lt's not a fucking swinger party.
l won't ask you three times, bitch,
answer- would you fuck a married man?
l don't give a shit
if a man is married or not.
Zero zero.
We're even, Sylvester.
Where's the case?
lt's alright. See for yourself.
Who's he?
He's handcuffed to the case.
l don't need an Asian.
Listen, we had a deal for a case only.
lf you don't get along with him,
you can set him free. Cash, cash!
Here's part of it.
What part?
We had a deal that you pay all of it.
The deal went wrong.
What do you mean?
l mean that l didn't ask
for a fucking chink. Get it?
Damn it, Caroline, what the fuck?
Where's my money? Where's my money?
Listen, l'll take him now and
bring you the money tomorrow.
You're fucking crazy,
the bitch is taking him.
You'll take him when l receive
all of my cash. Get it, bitch?
- Alright.
- What's alright?
l'll bring you the money tomorrow.
You fucking hurry, l ain't waiting
for you any longer.
Max, is that your wedding suit?
Congratulations!
Give my best wishes to your wife.
l will.
Sylvester, long time no see...
ls eveything alright
or did l miss something?
Eveything's fine.
You're too fucking nice today.
Where's that guy?
ln the trunk.
- Oh, that's Sasha.
- You know him?
Do l know him?
This fucker was screwing with my wife.
With who?
With my wife, Lika.
You're telling me his bitch
was your wife?
What do you mean "was"?
She's still my wife, we just don't live
together, but we're not divorced.
l got that bitch a pair of tits
for ten grand.
You seen her?
No, we haven't.
- Hi, honey.
- Hi.
What are you doing here?
l'm making you a milkshake.
l'm wondering whether l should
put an egg in it or not.
Don't.
That's what l thought... Especially
when you hear that l'm pregnant.
What?
Yes and the child is yours. Promise me
that you'll never leave me.
What you're talking about?
l love you. l'm happy.
Bastard, how could you.
l'm still your wife.
What are you doing, Leokadia?
l'll shoot both of you!
No...
No, no, Leokadia!
Don't say anything!
l'll kill that bitch myself.
PRESENT
Soap opera is a TV format
characterised by over-exaggeration,
pomposity, idealism, and a banal
representation of the world
that surrounds the characters.
Featuring obvious opposition of
good and evil,
with clear boundaries in social
relations, one-sided characters etc.
You are fucking late. Thought
you wouldn't come at all! Hi there!
Hi! You got them?
l got them, l got them...
That's it, fuck off...
Have you got the cash?
Maybe you fucking show
them to us first!
Show?... You show them
and then they take fucking nothing...
Here, new model, with new badges,
everything in order.
Looks like they aren't fucking new!
What's not new?
Take a fucking look, they stink,
fucking smell them yourself.
Who told you they would be new?
So they stink. You fucking clean them,
l'm not a fucking laundry.
Where are the hats?
There is a hat!
Are you fucking me around?
How will l look without a hat?
Maybe you won't loose your
fucking brain without that hat.
l haven't got it,
l didn't fucking get it.
What are these trousers!
What the fuck will l
Iook like in these trousers?
So what? Trousers are trousers.
What's your problem?
There are no fucking buttons!
There is no fucking belt!
And you want me to believe
that they are new!
l'm not sewing these trousers,
for fuck's sake!
l'm not a fucking tailor,
where would l get these buttons from?
Ok, how much do you want?
300 for one.
Are you a moron,
300 for this rag?
And without a hat!
Guys, if you don't like them,
you can sew them yourselves!
You want shitloads of money
for this fucking shit!
lt isn't shit, Sasha.
200.
Sasha, fucking hell,
l ain't gonna back down.
There is one hat, nothing is new,
you are selling shit. 250.
Does this look like a market?
Am l selling fucking sunflower seeds?
Guys, if you don't like it,
give me back the stuff!
l'll sell it to someone else!
Fuck, if you need anything,
l've got various cops' batons,
l've got handcuffs,
winter uniforms
l've got good shoes.
Call me!
VILNIUS - EUROPEAN CAPITAL
OF CULTURE
Directed by
Emilis Velyvis
l don't know anything.
Donce, fuck...
Fuck off...
l can't fucking take it any more...
C'mon, fucking c'mon...
Get up!
Damn it... Where's the car!
l can't stand this...
Get up, Donce, get up.
Fuck... Fucking come here!
Get the fuck out of the car!
We didn't mean it...
C'mon, all of you get out
of the bloody car.
Fucking come here!
Maybe, we can make a deal,
l'm a famous actor.
l don't give a shit who you are,
fucking stand still!
Zenka, give him all you've got!
But...
Give me eveything,
c'mon, let's do this...
Zenka, give him all you've got!
You stupid bitch, you hit a guy,
you fucking ran over
an omcer of the law!
How much have you got?
l haven't got anything now.
Tomorrow in the morning,
20 grand!
l can't find that much so quickly.
l don't give a fuck
whether you find it or not,
all of you chip in,
and if l don't have
the money tomorrow,
l will fucking kill you!
Fuck you...
l will fucking find you, arsehole!
l will fucking find you, arsehole!
PART 1
SYLVESTER, MAXAND 1000 EUROS
MORNING OF THE NEXT DAY
Hello.
Damn it, you've got a nerve...
Haven't heard from you
for ages, Sylvester.
Have you read the morning newspapers?
l don't read newspapers.
Just so you know, they found 2 men
shot in the chest, shot to hell.
So, what do you want from me?
l want to get the chink back,
with the whole package.
l don't deal with this anymore.
l was transferred to another department.
Send your guys and l guarantee
that by dinner time you'll be happy.
l do not rely on people who work
in a building with slanting windows.
l need you, there were cops.
Do you hear me? There were cops there.
l just don't get it.
Why did they have to shoot at my people?
l don't want anything,
l don't need anything,
l want just one thing:
to provide for my retirement.
l won't let you down,
you know me.
- When did he disappear?
- Yesterday.
Drive to Max's,
he will tell you more.
Max is on holidays.
His honeymoon is over,
l was talking to him.
- What? He got married?
- Yes. And collect your toys.
Haven't seen you for ages, Sylvester!
You are not aging, for fuck's sake,
what are you eating?
l was born old, Sylvester,
l'm only eating young women.
- l need two, full.
- l know.
One for you, one for Max.
- Do you see him around here often?
- l saw him a while ago.
- Did you hear that he got married?
-Yeah.
- Do you know who his wife is?
- No.
l never miss an episode with her.
A wonderful woman.
lf she looks the same as she does on TV,
l would eat her with pleasure.
l don't watch soap operas.
So don't watch soap operas, watch her.
Watch and you'll see what l mean.
Ok, l'll watch.
Sylvester, she likes red roses.
This one is also blocked.
Nonsense, it was all OK yesterday.
Unfortunately,
now it's definitely blocked.
How much do l have to pay?
ln total 83.14.
lf l don't take brandy, cigarettes,
how much for fuel?
Count everything, l'll pay.
No, thank you, there is no need, but...
l'll just drive home and come back.
Don't wory, it's not a problem for me.
Please, l'll take these roses too.
- Thanks a lot. Thank you.
- Not at all.
- Thank you.
- You are welcome.
- l'm Caroline.
- Sylvester.
Shall we have some coffee?
l've got some business
to take care of.
10 minutes.
We'll drink some coffee,
so l don't feel like l owe you.
OK.
Don't say anything!
l'll kill that bitch myself.
- Congratulations!
- Who is this for?
l dunno.
Maybe for your wife.
For my wife?
Are you taking the piss, Sylvester?
Fucking look at what l'm wearing!
l can't get into my flat
'cause that bitch wouldn't let me in.
Have you got a cigarette?
Have you been to Bronius?
We have to visit Vova.
Who's Vova?
Vova... Vova is a dead man.
Talk, you piece of shit, because these
are the last words l will hear from you.
Sasha!
Which Sasha?
Sasha, the fat one...
- Do you know him?
- l have no fucking idea who he is.
The address?
- In the lofts by the market...
- Number?
On the second floor, opposite
the restaurant. It's definitely not me...
For fuck's sake!
- Have you got a belly?
- Seems like l've got one.
- Who is this Tom Waits?
- l don't know.
Why the fuck did you buy it
if you don't know who he is?
l didn't buy it, it was given to me.
So, is it your birthday today?
A woman gave it to me for some reason.
- Did you finally find a girl?
- l didn't say that.
Well, there's nothing wrong
with chatting someone up.
l didn't chat anyone up.
l got acquainted with a woman,
we had a coffee, she presented me a CD.
That's how you should have
started the stoy.
Anmay, nobody gives gifts by accident.
There's nothing between us.
l've only seen her once.
So, what, haven't you screwed her yet?
- Max, she is a married woman.
- So what?
What does ''so what'' mean?!
Would you like it if l was banging
your wife without you knowing it?
Don't fucking exaggerate.
We are partners, Sylvester!
Of course, l wouldn't like it.
But l'm talking in general.
lf someone, who l don't know, was
banging my wife and l didn't find out,
l wouldn't give fuck about it,
cause l wouldn't know about it.
lf l didn't know it,
it wouldn't bother me.
There's more to it, Max,
it's a matter of principle.
You want to say that you wouldn't bang
a married woman even if she wanted it?
Because of some shitty principle?
This principle is far from shitty.
l divorced with my wife, because
someone was banging her for half a year.
When l found out,
l didn't feel so great.
lt's a shitty business. Shitty!
l don'twant to be a shithead,
that is what this principle is about!
But you fancied her, Sylvester?
l did, so what?
- But if you didn't have long to live?
- So, what?
Well, if you knew that you were going
to die, your principles wouldn't change?
lf, if, if...
l bet a thousand euros that a man's
principles would change in that situation.
l don't think so.
- A thousand euros!
- OK.
A thousand euros?!
Ask Vova if he has a jack?
- Vova, haveyou got a jack?
- No.
Cut that shit out, bitch.
Where are the keys?
ln the car, in the car, fuck...
Wow, wow, wow, so fucking far,
so fucking good.
- Sylvester, our Vova knows more.
- What's that?
lt's better to see it rather than tell.
Yeah, haven't seen
something like this for a while.
Guys, you know, l swear,
you know, it's not me.
l don't care who it is anymore.
Get inside.
- But, guys, listen...
- Lie down, for fuck's sake.
- Would you screw a married woman?
- What?
ln the arse, for fuck's sake.
l'm asking if you were ever
screwing somebody's woman?
- What?
-Am l not making myself clear?
l don't understand the question.
Are you fucking deaf?
l'm asking you if you ever
fucked a married woman.
Guys, you know,
l wasn't screwing around.
You've definitely got something
mixed up, l don't know anything.
What the fuck does
''l don't know'' mean?
- Is the question too dificult?
- No.
So, answer me then!
There's a thousand euros at stake.
- Guys, get me, l...
-Answer the question!
Guys, l don't know, you know,
probably no, l wouldn't.
l don't know. No, guys, no, no...
l don't know. No, guys, no, no...
For fuck's sake, a thousand euros...
PART 2
THE DEATH OF THE SILVERCRANE
THREE HOURS EARLIER
Here... Three...
Fucking 3? l said 20!
l can't find anymore,
there's nothing at home.
So, search somewhere else, you faggot!
Give me the cards.
l've cleaned eveything out,
there is nothing left.
You better fucking search faster, 'cause
if l don't get the cash by this evening,
l'll turn you into the cops.
lf l turn you in, then all you fuckers
will go to jail for a longtime!
You get me?
So do you love me?
What are you saying?
l love you! l'm happy!
Naughty boy, how could you,
l'm still your wife!
Cut!
Here's that brandy you asked for.
l don't need brandy, l need a doctor.
Look at my leg!
- Does it hurt a lot?
- No, shit... it feels great.
Kiesha, what the fuck are you
talking about?
lt was always OK,
but now l'm not suitable?
l don't get it.
There's nothing to get here.
Television needs tits,
you don't have them.
lf you want the lead role,
you get tits.
How will l get them?
Simple, like eveyone else,
go to a fucking surgeon.
You fucking nuts? l can't even imagine
how my husband will react to that.
Monika, l don't give a fuck about
your husband's reaction.
l've got plenty of my own problems,
and you are bothering me with yours.
Television need tits.
lf you want the lead role,you get tits,
and if you don't want any problems,
you take the roles that l offer you.
That's it.
Say what we wrote,
otherwise l won't be able to edit it.
Wow, buongiorno! Wait, wait...
What are you staring at?
Why didn't you lock the door?
Me? You came here first,
you could've locked it.
- What happened to her?
- Fuck...Let's go to her place.
l can't really,
l have to finish the casting.
What do you mean you fucking can't,
l will shove your casting up your arse!
Go, hold her!
He's thinking about casting...
Vita, Vita, stop, wait!
What?
An entire human hand, covered in blood,
caught on the front wheel!
Oh, wow, how the fuck did it get there?
C'mon, sort it out, l have to go.
Kiesha, l won't sort it out.
Are you stupid?
l have to go to Vita's.
l can't, l will be sick.
Zenka, if l don't catch Vita,
we will go to jail for a very long time.
Andwhen we get tothejail
you can vomit.
Sojust sort eveything out
and give me your car.
Waiting forAdolfas....
What is this?
l need a bag,
something to keep this in.
- l'm asking you what is here!
- Better don't look!
Zenka, are you mad?
Where did you get this hand from?
Just don't ask,
it was under the car.
Under which car?
Under which? Under which?
Under that car!
Zenka, l can definitely tell you now,
that we are going to jail.
Why the fuck did you
bring this hand here?
- Where was l supposed to put it?
-Where? Where? Throw it away!
Where to throw it away?
In the street?
l dunno, in a forest,
in a river, anywhere.
Normally l wouldn't ask you,
but l badly need some advance payment.
After all l've seen?
Vita, Vita, Vita...
We had an agreement.
The agreement is cancelled!
All the actors are approved,
l agreed eveything with TV station,
the only thing missing
is your sponsorship.
Are you a fucking idiot
or are you deaf?
l just said that l won't
participate any longer!
For fuck's sake, Vita!
Vita, what do l have to do
to get at least part of that money?
This mineral water has to be
in the hands of every actor,
and must be seen in every shot!
Are we agreed on that?
Yes, but l need money
in advance...
Here is what we agreed.
l will walk...
For fuck's sake... Get out, dickhead!
And you too, bitch!
- Who is this idiot?
- Fuck, that's my husband.
l'll fucking show you...
Get out, dickhead!
Fucking idiot! Get away from the car!
Leave the car alone!
Stop... You stupid fucking dickhead,
you're fucked now...
- Hello.
- Where are you?
Fucking where?
l'm fucking catching hands in the river!
Ok, l got the money,
get yourself here.
- No,you fucking come here.
- l can't, your car's broken.
How is it broken?
lt's completely fucked up!
Understand? Just come here.
Fucking hell...
PART 3
A 7500 LITAS SOAP OPERA
Right... and what about me?
Really, he said so?
Listen, it wasn't like that,
he was hitting on me.
What? No... listen,
l can't talk right now.
Call me after about 20 minutes,
'cause l'm seeing him this evening.
Ok, bye.
- Hi!
- Hi!
- l ordered you a coffee.
-Thanks.
- So...
- What?
So, tell me, what's up?
l need tits.
At last, l've been telling you this
the whole time.
Tell me how.
There's nothing to tell -
you go to the surgeon,
choose the size of the implant
and that's it.
And which size is yours?
C. But you can choose any- D or F.
The bigger the boobs
the more obvious they're fake, though.
Did it hurt?
Thanks.
And how much did it cost?
Ten grand,
including eveything, you know.
- Ten thousand?
- That's the price.
You can look for something cheaper
but then you'll risk the quality.
Where will l get the money?
From your husband.
Ok,then you can do it my way.
By taking a loan.
Of course, it will take longer, all the
paperwork, but it's better than nothing.
So here's the clinic's card.
Go there, they will give you a discount.
l must go to work.
- Bye.
- l'm so glad you've made the decision.
Right now we have reduced prices
for breast aumentation.
The operation will cost 8000,
but with your discount it will be 7500.
So what size are you interested in?
Does it affect the price?
No, all sizes costthe same.
Please, take this.
lt'll help you to understand
the services that our company provides.
l think it will make your choice easier.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
Monica.
What's the matter?
Monica, give me the damn towel,
l don't have anything to clean up with...
Here you go.
- Where were you?
- At work, we were shooting.
- And how was it?
- Ok.
- l think l'm gonna get one more role.
- Cool.
Are you going somewhere?
Yeah, l have something to do,
l'll be back in the evening.
l need to talk to you.
Ok, we can talk in the evening.
lt's really really important for me.
Get dressed, l'll wait.
So?
Max, l need some money.
How much?
What?
l need it badly, l could pay you back
little by little every month.
Why the hell do you need so much?
l don't want any arguments,
l just want you to like me more.
l like you the way you are.
l don't feel good,
l don't like the way l look
so l've decided to get breast implants.
Are you stupid?
Don't...
Why do you need a bigger fucking chest?
Well, because l have a small chest.
Your chest is fine.
No, it isn't, Max, it isn't.
And that's why l need money
for the operation.
Seriously? Over my dead body.
My career and my whole
life depends on it.
l want to act,
l want to get back on stage.
So get the fuck back
on the bloody stage.
Why the fuck do you need
big tits for that?
You don't want me to look prettier?
You look pretty to me, otherwise
why the fuck would l have married you?
l want to be happy.
Yeah right, you'd be happy
with some plastic instead of tits?
lt's not plastic, it's silicon.
lt makes no fucking difference!
And you have to pay 7 and a half
grand for that shit!
That's fucking crazy!
lf you don't give me the money
l'll take a loan and pay for it myself.
- Take what?
- A loan. l'll take a loan from a bank.
You take that loan, l'll stuff that loan
up your arse and fuck you hard.
OK, fuck me,
but give me the money first.
- Where's my lighter?
- l don't know where your lighter is.
-You could take out the trash.
- Take out the trash yourself.
The fucking bankis gonna
buy her tits... damn.
Monica, open the door, open
the fucking door, l need to get changed.
l won't open the door unless you promise
to lend me the money.
C'mon, open the fucking door
and we'll have a talk.
First you have to promise.
l'll promise you fuck all.
l'm standing in my dressing gown
like some kind of queer,
so open the fucking door.
Max, l want the tits.
l'll buy you those fucking tits,
just open the goddamn door.
Max, l want the tits and l want you
to buy them for me.
Monica, l paid for our wedding,
for all of your fucking dresses,
for the honeymoon,
for all the goddamn trips
and now you're talking
to me like this.
Max, you only see yourself.
You only see yourself and when l need
some help you don't help me.
You will miss the money or what?
Yes, l will miss those fucking 7500
which you will tuck in your breasts
and wear for the rest of your life.
Open the door you cunt,
or l'll fucking kick it down.
No, l won't open it, Max.
l want those tits, l need those tits.
Buy me the tits, l want those tits,
l want those tits...
You know, l need those tits, those
damn tits, are you short on money?
How much do they cost, you moron,
can't you support me, huh?
Should l borrow the money myself?
You made me hysterical
about the damn tits...
ls somebody calling for me?
l don't know, maybe...
Monica, open the damn door...
let me in.
l won't unless you promise me.
Answer the call, for fuck's sake.
- It's Sylvester.
- Who?
A guy called Sylvester.
Ok, bitch, now listen to me carefully.
l have to leave right away,
l have some urgent things to do
and l can't come in
because you won't open the damn door...
l can't come into my fucking home...
l swear, l'll think about the money
and those plastic things
you want to put inside your body.
But baby, l beg you,
open the door... please... please...
No, Max, thinking is not enough.
Open the door, you fucking cunt...
Open the fucking door...
No!
Fucking hell, l'll kill you.
This is totally out of order...
Don't say a word,
l'll kill the cunt myself...
PART 4
JACKIE CHAN, RICE AND SILICON
Ok, so the truck comes in
the chink comes out,
you take him and then l come by.
Why the fuck do we need the chink?
We're here for the stuff,
not a fucking chink...
Take it easy, no panic, understood?
- Ok, staycool, man.
- l'm cool.
All right now...
you're taking the stuff...
Then you get into the carand leave.
The stuff, the car, leave...
And if the chink is a fucking
karate man?
Like fucking Jackie Chan?
Who's fucking Jackie Chan?
Don't you know Jackie Chan?
Don't you watch any fucking movies?
Maybe they brought some
fucking Japanese retard?
You're the fucking retard, man.
Jackie Chan is Chinese, not Japanese.
How should l fucking know that?
Chinese, Japanese...
All the chinks look the same.
Look, we've got it...
Ok now, don't fucking panic.
Easy, hands behind your head...
hands behind your head.
Donce, take the case.
- Fucking hell.
- What?
-The case is cuffed.
- To what?
The case is cuffed to his hand.
So take the chink too.
Guys, l have the keys...
Hey, dead man...
Did l ask you anything?
Put your hands behind your head.
Higher.
What the fuck is going on?
Vova, fucking hell...
l got hit in the leg...
What the fuck is going on?
- That fucking bastard hit me in the leg...
- Give it to me...
Vova, l'm gonna die...
l will take care of you,
easy, motherfucker...
Easy?! My fucking leg was hit!
C'mon, l'll take you to the hospital...
Are you fucking crazy?
Do you have the money?
l'm cool, all l'm saying
is that we had a different deal.
l did my job, l get the cash
and l go on vacation right away.
l'm cool!
And bring him something to eat,
'cause l didn't give him anything.
'Cause l haven't eaten myself.
Ok, ok, right. l'll bring the food
and you are coming here, right?
Ok. l'm cool...
l write scripts.
What scripts?
You heard it, dumbass.
Movie scripts.
- What movies?
- Movies for TV...
l told some guy a couple of stories
and he liked them.
Then he asked
if l could write some more.
- What stories?
- About life.
Do l also appear in those stories?
- More or less.
- More or less?
Are you fucking retarded?
The names and surnames are changed.
Only a part of the stoy is left.
That's all.
That's all? Have you ever asked me if
l want you telling my story to some guy?
Damn it, Lika! The stories are just
soap opera and that's it.
Millions of people all over the world
watch those stories every day
and nobody cares
if they're fucking real or not.
So why the fuck are you telling them
if nobody fucking cares
if they're real or not?
l don't know.
They seemed interesting for me.
- You know what?
- What?
Fuck you!
Damn it, Lika. l told you
l hate it with eggs.
Go fuck yourself
if you don't like it.
How many times have l told you
that eggs are no good forme.
Drink it yourself if you want it
and make me one without any eggs.
Can you make a drink
without any fucking eggs for once?
Give it to the chink.
Well, Jackie Chan?
Will you have a drink?
Wanna eat?
Lika, buy him some rice, l have no idea
what else they eat there. You hear me?
Buy it yourself,
l have fuck all to do with it.
Lika, you get dressed and get the fuck
out of here to buy some fucking rice.
Do you hear me?
Fuck you and your rice!
Watch your language, bitch,
and remember who's wearing
the trousers in this house.
A trouser-wearing fucking poet, go and
write some lines about the chink!
l won't say this again - go get dressed
and go buy the fucking rice.
Fuck you!
Fuck off.
Are you sure it's here?
l don't know. Vova told me
that it's somewhere around the lofts.
- Are you hungy?
- Huh?
- l'm asking, are you hungy?
- Nope.
Mate, could you buy me lunch?
Remember, you owe me
a thousand euros.
Yeah, l know that, so what?
lf l knew this was going to happen
l would have brought my fucking wallet.
Ok, l'll give you some cash,
but l ain't going anywhere.
You want me to go? Look at me,
l'm not dressed properly.
l can't go there.
l'm vey interested, why?
Think what you like, but l don't go
to cafes or restaurants or bars.
l don't get it. Do you have something
against Asians?
l like Asians.
l just don't go to public
eating houses on principle.
You're fucking crazy, man.
How many damn principles
do you have?
On principle...
- Good afternoon.
- Hi.
Take a seat.
l'd like to make an order to go.
Chicken with mushrooms
and sea cabbage.
Ok, 18.50.
Keep the change.
Thanks. Take a seat,
it'll take a while.
- Thanks, but l'll stand.
- OK.
- Good afternoon.
- Good afternoon.
l'd like rice for two to go.
- Just rice?
- Just rice.
6.2O
- Take a seat, it'll take a while.
- l'll wait. What the fuck...
Something's wrong?
No, everything's fine.
lt's just that l've never seen a gay guy
in a Chinese restaurant wearing a robe.
Let's eat.
Lika, what is this?
lt's what you asked for.
But it's just rice. Where's the meat
and vegetables and stuff?
You didn't ask for that.
Lika, can you do anything right
just once in your life?
ls it so hard to understand
what l mean?
l asked you to bring food, and you don't
understand that rice won't be enough?
You should ask the chink,
he understands you very well.
l don't know if you're married
but l guess it's a woman... eat!
l guess you have a woman and if you do
you understand me completely.
l know that you see
and understand everything.
You're a fucking whacko.
Sasha, he doesn't understand a word
you're tellin' him.
Well, maybe he doesn't
understand my words,
but he understands my feelings
perfectly- it's universal.
Ooh, fucking poety.
Listen to us, we're getting smarter
every fucking hour.
You'll never understand this.
Open the door.
Do it yourself.
It's for you anyways.
Can't you see that l'm feeding
the chink?
l don't give a fuck,
that ain't my problem.
Lika, you're asking for it.
Oh, fuck!
Why did you shoot you that bitch?
l made it even between us.
Shut the fuck up! You wanna go too,
like your lady just did?
Motherfucker...
Wow, did you get your bitch
those plastic tits?
What?
l asked, did you get your bitch
those silicone tits?
Yeah.
Well, how much?
l dunno.
Don't gimme that shit.
You got your bitch a pair
of silicone tits
and you don't know
how much they cost?
She said she got them
for ten grand.
Get outta here.
Ten grand for a pair of
fucking silicone tits.
You heard that, Sylvester?
l don't know much about tit prices.
There's nothing to know.
My bitch is asking for them too.
Seven and a halfgrand.
This dickhead here paid ten.
You're fucking nuts?
You don't like big breasts?
l like tits. l really do,
l simply don't like silicone ones.
What's the difference?
It's inside, you can't see a thing.
Of course you can't see them,
but you can feel them.
There is a difference,
a rather significant difference.
You don't see it,
but you know
that there's some shit
inside your bitch's tits.
Some fucking plastic.
You touch them, you stroke them
and you fucking keep thinking that
there's some fucking silicone inside.
Would you fucking pretend
there's nothing inside?
l don't know,
l've never thought about it.
Sylvester, have you ever seen silicone?
What do you mean?
Have you ever seen silicone
in its purest form?
l have not.
lt would be a sin
to miss an opportunity
to see the silicone for ten grand,
wouldn't it?
You're sick, you're fucking sick,
you know that?
l've never seen anyone cut
into a girl's tits.
Why in the world would you need
that silicone anyway?
l'll take it back to my bitch, so she
can fucking see it with her own eyes.
You're sick, Max!
You're sick!
l'm sick?
Well is it not a sick thing to pay
ten grand for this shit?
That is vanity, Max, and the bigger it
is the more expensive it gets.
But what you just did here
is sick, sick!
l don't give a fuck.
You tell your bitch about your vanity.
l bet you'd spend a week
on the street after that.
ls this fucker OK?
You put that shit inside
your wife for ten grand.
Was it worth it?
Was it fucking worth it?
She wasn't my wife.
- What's that supposed to mean?
- The fucking obvious.
She's wearing a ring.
She was married.
You telling me that your bitch
was somebody's wife?
Yes.
You're fucking nuts? Do you know
where you're going?
Where did you fuckin come from?
Hey! You're OK?
l'm not totally OK...
l can see that, sicko. Motherfucker,
you're lucky we didn't kill you.
- Sasha, stop!
- Get in the car.
Good morning, arseboy.
- You're fucked up.
- l'm fucked up?
- Yeah, you're fucked up!
- We'll see who's fucked up.
You'll be buying your bitch a dildo.
She won't have anything to fuck soon.
- You just try that motherfucker.
- Try? Try l will...
l'll tear you apart motherfucker.
l'll kill you motherfucker.
PART 5
SYLVESTERS GUN, PRINCIPLES AND 1000 EUROS
They're for your wife?
Come again?
The flowers.
Oh, no, they're for my colleague.
He just got married.
Would you like some?
No, l'm on duty.
That gun, must be your duty?
l'm an omcer, but l don't
carry it all the time.
Perhaps when you're alone,
naked and in bed.
l have another gun when l'm naked.
What caliber?
lf this one is 9,
the other is around 18.
You're a married woman.
You didn't ask if l'm
a happily married woman.
That's not my business.
Don't hide it, Sylvester,
l attract you sexually.
We've just got acquainted.
We didn't even have a coffee yet
and you're already telling me
that l like you.
Do you often pay women's gas bills?
l paid for your bill because
l don't usually meet women
whose credit cards get blocked.
You're one of those men
who show that they like women.
l'll take that.
When was the last time
you danced, Sylvester?
Excuse me?
l'd like to dance with you.
- Where?
- Here.
We're in a gas station.
So what. l've never
danced in a gas station.
l don't dance.
Listen, l've already told you-
you're a married woman.
l don't want any trouble.
Sylvester, l'm not asking you
to sleep with me in a gas station,
l just want to thank you.
lt was so close.
He nearly cut my balls off!
You're a lucky man.
ls that a joke?
He's real crazy. l told you.
- Get out.
- What's up with you, Sylvester.
What's wrong, Sylvester.
What are you looking for, man?
My police gun, l put it under
the papers. It's not here.
Look under the seat, maybe it's...
l've looked under the goddamn seat,
it's not there.
Get out, get out, sit down.
lt's her, it's her.
Sylvester, l wasn't
expecting to see you.
Where's my gun?
Let me go, you're hurting me!
l'll hurt you even more.
C'mon, show me.
- Where?
- There on the table.
Three bullets are missing.
Could you move out of the way,
l can't get through.
l can't.
l said l can't get through,
could you move the car aside?
Don't you understand asshole?
l can't.
Faggot in a gay robe.
- Who is he?
- My husband.
For fuck's sake, Caroline, you fucked up
your man with my police gun.
l wanted to scare him.
With three bullets?
What did he do to you?
Why did you do it?
What did he do to me?
Look what he did to me.
l got money, here, Sylvester, please,
help me, l don't have anything else...
What are you doing, Sylvester?
Sit down.
Max, what are you doing there?
- Who is he?
- How should l know?
- Where's your bathroom?
- There.
Who is he?
Fuck.
Tell me what's going on.
lsn't it obvious?
This stupid bitch fucked up her man
with my service gun.
Where are his things?
- Which things?
- All the things.
He went away on a holiday,
a very long holiday.
Where did he go?
What's the fucking difference?
l'll have to say something,
l'm still his wife.
To Rhodes.
Where is Rhodes?
ln Greece.
He wasn't fond of Greece.
For fuck's sake, Caroline, l don't care
about his likes and dislikes,
you tell me where he went.
Listen, Sylvester, it seems rather weird
that a man went on holiday
to a place which he hates.
l don't give a shit who he was.
That's your problem
and your responsibility.
Max don't just stand there,
give me a hand.
Hang on. l don't get it.
How did she get your gun?
lt's a fucking long stoy, l don't have
time for that. Give me a hand.
Wait a second.
Here lies the body of some dumbfuck,
who was shot with your gun.
Right next to him sits this dumbfuck's
bitch, who somehow stole your gun.
l don't understand a fucking thing.
Alright, Max, we'll deal with this.
We? l'm not involved in this and
l don't want to get involved.
We're colleagues.
We're colleagues at work,
but this is your personal life.
When you cut that slut's tits
l fucking didn't do a thing.
That slut's tits weren't
your fucking business.
l saved your fucking balls.
Without me you'd be carying
your balls in you hand.
Alright.
But first, l have to win
my thousand euros back.
- From who?
- From her.
What if you lose?
l'll owe you fucking
two thousand euros.
Would you fuck a married man?
- Sylvester, what's going on?
- Answer the question.
lt's not a fucking swinger party.
l won't ask you three times, bitch,
answer- would you fuck a married man?
l don't give a shit
if a man is married or not.
Zero zero.
We're even, Sylvester.
Where's the case?
lt's alright. See for yourself.
Who's he?
He's handcuffed to the case.
l don't need an Asian.
Listen, we had a deal for a case only.
lf you don't get along with him,
you can set him free. Cash, cash!
Here's part of it.
What part?
We had a deal that you pay all of it.
The deal went wrong.
What do you mean?
l mean that l didn't ask
for a fucking chink. Get it?
Damn it, Caroline, what the fuck?
Where's my money? Where's my money?
Listen, l'll take him now and
bring you the money tomorrow.
You're fucking crazy,
the bitch is taking him.
You'll take him when l receive
all of my cash. Get it, bitch?
- Alright.
- What's alright?
l'll bring you the money tomorrow.
You fucking hurry, l ain't waiting
for you any longer.
Max, is that your wedding suit?
Congratulations!
Give my best wishes to your wife.
l will.
Sylvester, long time no see...
ls eveything alright
or did l miss something?
Eveything's fine.
You're too fucking nice today.
Where's that guy?
ln the trunk.
- Oh, that's Sasha.
- You know him?
Do l know him?
This fucker was screwing with my wife.
With who?
With my wife, Lika.
You're telling me his bitch
was your wife?
What do you mean "was"?
She's still my wife, we just don't live
together, but we're not divorced.
l got that bitch a pair of tits
for ten grand.
You seen her?
No, we haven't.
- Hi, honey.
- Hi.
What are you doing here?
l'm making you a milkshake.
l'm wondering whether l should
put an egg in it or not.
Don't.
That's what l thought... Especially
when you hear that l'm pregnant.
What?
Yes and the child is yours. Promise me
that you'll never leave me.
What you're talking about?
l love you. l'm happy.
Bastard, how could you.
l'm still your wife.
What are you doing, Leokadia?
l'll shoot both of you!
No...
No, no, Leokadia!
Don't say anything!
l'll kill that bitch myself.