Zero (2018) - full transcript

For God's sake, let me go!

Where to, princess?

- Let me go.
- Scream if you want.

Let the toughest man in Meerut
save you from my clutches.

- Anyone there?
- Ashok!

May the good Lord forgive us!

Can't you speak French?

Ashok, didn't I hit you yesterday?

So what?

So what!

Times have changed, boy.



Your father is a boy!
They call me Bauua Singh.

Bauua!

Oh, no! That same dream.

Did you save my honor again
in your dream?

Yes.

Your friends are here.

Your father is calling you
for breakfast.

Bring me tea. Wash your hands first.

- Bauua.
- Who's that?

- Bauua!
- Bauua!

Your Majesty! Good morning.

Good morning, guys. What's up?

Look! The new iPhone.

Wow!



Sire, this jewel in rags

has brought great news for you.

Your heart will melt.
You'll sing devotional songs.

- The most delightful news ever.
- Read it out!

Okay.

Babita Kumari's heart
has been broken again.

- Wow!
- At director Imtiaz Ali's party

the spat between Babita Kumari
and her boyfriend intensified.

They were cast in Anurag Kashyap's
next film

but Babita has refused
to work with her guy.

- Tea.
- Her close friend disclosed why.

He's with another actress.

Has it happened again?

Has Babita Kumari's heart been
broken by another flirt?

Your bride has missed the wedding bus.

Well done!
Guddu, that's terrific news.

Today is Eid. Give these guys
a 500-rupee bundle.

It'll make their day.

- Wait!
- Just be quiet.

- Is he up yet?
- No.

He'll only get up when my dead body
leaves this house.

Have your breakfast. Stop nagging him.
He's just a kid.

- By height. Eats like a full-grown man!
- Stop it.

I slave away while the mister wants
fresh orange juice.

I am not his father

but a money printing machine to him.

Keep them coming.

Hey! Enjoy biryani in my bride
Babita's name.

Hey, you!

Stop!

The whole neighborhood's shown up.

You incompetent idiots!

Snatch the cash from him.

- Have your breakfast.
- I won't spare him today.

- It's morning!
- What?

Squandering my money.

- He's a kid.
- A kid, my foot!

You're an angel of death.

Don't talk nonsense, Ashok.

Your bad habits made me short.

So what if I spend your money?

My bad habits?

Is my height my fault?

All that tobacco-chewing
stunted your genes.

- My genes?
- It's stunted. I've read about it.

Kusum, either I kill him or you kill me.

- Say that when a cop's bashing you.
- Bauua!

- Go on. Hit me.
- Go downstairs for my sake.

- I'll stop your merrymaking.
- Go!

- I'm taking your car.
- Be my guest!

Move away!

Even your belt's too soft.

Bauua, why are you after him?

Look at my height. He owes me, Mom.

Son, it's God's will
that you're a dwarf.

Your God has had His way.
Now it's my turn.

Go. Get me my suit
and the Dhoom 3 bowler hat.

I'm going to watch my bride's new movie.

Mom, I've told you so many times

don't you cry.

- Found your perfect wife?
- Pandey is looking for a girl.

- How are you! - Nigar Cinema.
- How many passengers?

Just me, the small kid.
And my father.

Why are you joking, sir?
You're a grown man.

So why ask? Shall I?

- I charge 20 rupees.
- It's 10 for Nigar Cinema.

Pay me five and pull
the rickshaw yourself.

10 rupees per passenger.
No matter how many.

- Can you pull us all?
- Yes.

Give me five! Again!

I'm taking you to watch
my bride's movie!

Come! We're off to see
my bride's movie.

Come and enjoy Babita's latest!

Two item numbers in this one.

He can pull us all.

Guddu, should I call Junaid?

Forget it! He prefers the star Deepika
and Hollywood movies.

Come with us.
There's tons of room here.

"The night is young,
full of lustful promises."

"The weather is in our favor."

The screen is that way!

"You always fail at love.
I burn in love."

"Our names are notorious."

"I could use you."

"Don't think too much."

"I'll leave the world behind for you.
Why worry?"

"The beauty conquers your heart."

"The beauty conquers your heart.
Don't worry, sweetheart."

"Beauty conquers.."

Celebrate? Celebrate what?

Are you drunk?
I'll be there tomorrow.

- What is it?
- Nothing. Come on.

"Bang like a drum, work my body.
Tonight I'm in charge, so dance to my beat."

"Do it slowly."

"One night only."

"Because I'm feeling hot,
Tequila no chase."

"Oh, on, your lips, you like my style."

Bring the three Khans with you.
Here I am, sweetheart.

Why did Pandey call you so early?

I have a bad feeling.

Mr. Singh

when's the wedding?

What rubbish, Pandey!

Don't stick gum on my shoe
for your commission.

You've introduced me to many girls
for months.

I didn't like any.

What's so special about her?

I didn't care for active girls

why would an inactive girl
interest me?

- Inactive?
- Yes!

I told him to find me another bride.
Didn't I tell you?

- Yes.
- He's right.

I know what you were up to.

You should've told me before
hugging and kissing.

My God, what have you done?

What's wrong with her?

She's pretty and educated.

Comes from a good family.
Has a great job.

But

- a few mechanical problems.
- Like what?

Technical hiccups.

He's not exactly a catch!

When he sits, his feet can't touch
the ground and he wants a beauty.

- True.
- You were having

a love affair.

No.

Will you betray her?
Turn your back on love?

Love?
What's going on?

You didn't tell me. God, forgive us.

No!

What do you mean, no?

It started five months ago,
on 27th January

you were looking at photos
of prospective brides

and I entered through that door.

It was a miserable day.

You came all the way from Meerut
in this terrible storm?

Bachelors at 38

aren't scared of storms.

You've seen so many photos.

No girl in Asia is worthy of you.

Shut up!

You lied to me. You hid this diamond
in a coal mine.

This one?

- Where did you find this?
- In your desk drawer.

She's unavailable. So I hid it.

I've paid you so much,
you should be available to me too.

- What are you saying?
- What's wrong?

Mr. Singh, she's not for you.

I think she is.

My friend, she shakes a lot.

So I'll shake along with her.

Introduce us.

Don't take this road.

But I will.

Mr. Singh

even people who love in secret
end up married.

Aafia Yusufzai Bhinder?
What kind of name is that?

Some people have the oddest names.
So does she.

Half Afghani, half Punjabi.

Blast! Then? What did you do?

Then, I landed up at her address.

Amity Global School is proud
to present our very own student

from the batch of 2001.
Apart from finding water fossils in Mars

her latest achievement is creating
a zero gravity simulator on earth.

Students, please welcome our senior
scientist, Ms. Aafia Yusufzai Bhinder.

Good heavens!

The photo was deceptive.

Good morning, students.

- Only girls here. Scoot!
- Fine!

Stop!

- Where are you going?
- Nowhere!

- Why are you in a fancy dress?
- It's my birthday.

- And those doves?
- Which ones?

- Give them to me.
- Stop!

They cost 5,000 for the pair, idiot.

Insulting me? What class are you in?

If I had married in time,
I'd have brats like you by now.

Don't pull my ear.

No pulling..

Let go. I'll bite you.

Don't pull my organs!

Did Pandey send you?

- Bauua Singh?
- Singh..

Singh..

I didn't know my name had
a whistle in it. Say it again.

What's wrong? You're leaving?

Listen to me!

I brought a pair of doves for you

but those brats let them escape.
Please take this.

Like doves, thorns do not fear dying.

Isn't that a Dilip Kumar line?

You're no Madhubala either.
It's a compliment.

The canteen here has great snacks.

Want some?

You want her autograph?
Queue up.

Aren't kids nasty?

What made you think you could
ever marry me?

Me? Marry?
Who pays for looking?

I was just window-shopping.

- Do you know who I am?
- Yes.

You found water on Mars or something?

You should look for water in Meerut.
It's cut off for days there.

Looks like your brain's even smaller
than you are.

The way you're guzzling down
those pakoras

dipping them in chutney

I bet you haven't passed
the seventh grade.

- Tenth grade, actually.
- Tenth grade?

Students!

What should we do with this man?

Kill him!

Watch it!

Don't you dare!
Don't touch me. I'll hit you.

Be polite and see
this elderly man to the door.

What? I'm only 38.

You brats!

- Then?
- Then what?

Chill, bro. I went home.

- Look! What is this?
- Shall I explain?

What are you..

- Excuse me.
- Yes.

What is this?

A dance contest.

The winner will attend
a party with Babita Kumari.

- Really?
- Yes.

Add my name then. I can dance.

Hey! Shall I make you dance?

So, what happened next?

You're playing innocent.
Just tell the truth!

I first roasted
those cursed doves.

- This chicken is tiny.
- It's a dwarf.

God, forgive us!

As usual, my father kept saying
I was a good-for-nothing.

Exhausted, he fell asleep.

Ten, nine, eight, seven,
six, five, four three, two, one, zero!

I couldn't sleep.

That mean girl,
that Shahid Kapoor lookalike.

5,000 angels of death swooped
past me.

I was so angry, I shot down 200 stars
that night.

But Ashok stopped me.

Don't empty the sky.

You should sell tickets
for your magic show.

Lend me 500 rupees.

Shall I take my belt off?

What belt? Are you going to hit me
with your drawstring?

It was pointless living
without taking revenge.

I wanted sweet revenge.
Revenge!

- We have decided to..
- Hello, hello, my loose cannon.

You may have found water on Mars
or tomatoes elsewhere, so what?

Did it help you?

Don't laugh too much!

You humiliated me in front of
5,000 people yesterday. My turn now.

Ladies and gentlemen

sure, I could've been taller!
But she's no lanky Amitabh Bachchan.

I'm small in stature,
but my limbs work.

All she can do is shake.

Give me that pen.
I'll show you something.

If this pen falls

I can pick it up.
But she can't.

Bauua Singh may be uneducated
and live off his father

but I can stand on my own two feet.

Let's see her pick up the pen.

Keep watching her.
Look where you're going, mister.

The kid-faced Devil

Nasty dwarf

She did manage to lift the pen,
and she touched my heart.

I'm used to my father's insults,
so that wasn't a problem.

The problem was,
she didn't even stare at me.

I'm a dwarf! People pay money
to see dwarves in a circus.

It would've cost her nothing.
But she didn't look twice.

For me, it was quits or all in.

No more doves.
Time for a bouquet.

Long live the Goddess!

- Great, yes.
- True.

Don't take me for a stone.
Don't turn away, my rose.

Like dew, I only caressed your cheeks.

That line isn't Dilip Kumar's.
It's mine. I wrote it for you.

Aafia, till 3:30 last night,
I despised you.

At 3:45, I was in love with you.

Really?

Straight to love?

Yes.

I thought you were crushed.

Right word?

Yes! Crushed is the right word.

God has had His will.
No one on earth can help me now.

I came to apologize.

It's customary to bring flowers.

May I?

Never mind, it's okay.

Size does not matter to dreams.

- This small man has dreamed of you.
- Thanks.

- Forgive me, Aafia.
- Sorry about that.

Well, shall I go?

The whereabouts?

Stop me from walking away.

Goddess, will You crush me again?
Blast you, Pandey.

Nice girls for everyone.
And you find her for me?

She humiliated me again
in front of everyone.

Don't take me for a stone.
Don't turn away, my rose.

Like dew, I only caressed
your cheeks.

That's my line not Dilip Kumar's.

Until 3:30 last night, I despised you.

At 3:45, I was in love with you.

God has had His will.
No one on earth can help me now.

Size does not matter to dreams.
This small man has dreamed of you.

I came to apologize.

This time I've brought you a plant.

Please accept it.

I'm off. I'm going.

I'm leaving. Promise.

Have some shame!

Stop me this time!

Get rid of your dimple.
Don't act over-smart.

Then I might talk to you.

I didn't buy my dimples.

I was born with them.
God's gift, ma'am.

What?
What do you want?

I've come from so far to meet you.

You could offer me tea, coffee,
a soft-drink or wine.

Here. Drink up.

If I had to drink alone

a Meerut bar would do.

Have one.

Go on!

Cheers! To your smile.

Aafia, if you're unlucky,
we'll meet again.

Won't you ask me
to pick up a pen today?

You'll take my life, Aafia.
What's a pen?

Can I be cheeky and request you
to dance with me?

I can't dance.

I used to think I could never love.

Give yourself a chance, my sweet lady.

- DJ!
- Yes, sir?

Play a Shammi Kapoor song.

Don't have any.

- A Rishi Kapoor song?
- Well..

- Play a song by any one of the Kapoors.
- Okay.

A Shashi Kapoor number?

Play it!

"Oh, my God!"

"This crazy heart of mine
has weaved such magic"

"that you have"

"fallen in love with me."

"I have"

"fallen in love with you."

"Oh, my God!"

"My heart tells me."

"It's God's truth."

"My heart tells me."

"It's God's truth."

"The world does not believe it."

"The world does not believe it"

"but I'm crazy about you."

"I'm not a garden, not a star."

"I'm not a dark cloud,
I'm only a shadow."

"You have"

"fallen in love with me."

"Oh, my God!"

See!

Another drink?

The rover that went to Mars,
what's it called?

Goodness! I'm so drunk!

Yes, Sunil?

No.

- It's called..
- Velocity.

I knew that.
I know.

Who asked NSAR to send
a rover to Mars?

Velocity was sent by whom?

- Who sent it?
- I did.

Is that so?

Who told NSAR that Velocity
should dig

more than travel?

Who did?

I did.

Amazing.

Who told them

we should send a man to Mars now?

It's time.

- Who did?
- I did.

Who said

we should find cheaper ways
of doing this from India?

- That's why I'm here.
- Who?

Me. In India.

I came.

If you're here in India,
it must be you.

- Amazing. You came here..
- Excuse me.

Can you give me one more drink,
please?

Sorry, ma'am, the bar's closed.

She found water on Mars,
and you refuse her a drink?

Look at her!

Okay. Don't look.
Aafia, shall I hit him?

The toilet is shaking.
Give me a sip.

Try some lemon.

So, who said..

Enough, my friend.
Is NSAR all we can talk about?

Do I brag about saving Satish's shop
when the council came to destroy it?

- Who saved it?
- I did.

They came with bulldozers
to raze it to the ground.

Do I brag? I did this, I did that.
Doesn't sound good.

Are you making fun of me?
Rascal!

Acting over-smart again?

But no dimples this time!
It still worked, right?

Shut up! I need to take a leak.

Where's the leak?

Duffer! I need to use the toilet, to pee.

Oh, no!

What must I do?

You? I'm the one who has to do it.

I'll wait outside.
Call me when you're done.

Outside? You're my friend.

Stay put. Just turn around.

We're in the ladies toilet.
There may be some ladies around.

I'll deal with them.
Don't be mistaken.

I'm not your friend.

If I said I was your friend,
would you have let me stay?

- Oh, my God!
- Come in, ma'am. I'm only a kid.

I found water on Mars
and the rascal won't give me a drink.

Now I'll look for alcohol on Mars.

You didn't answer me.

If I said I was your friend,
could I have stayed?

- You missed your chance.
- No way.

If I went for this chance,
I might lose other chances.

God forbid I ever become your friend!

- Shut up!
- Okay.

- And goodnight.
- Okay. I'm gone.

Aafia, did anyone tell you

how pretty sweat looks
on your face?

Yes. Mom did.

You'll look even prettier with color
on you. It's Holi tomorrow!

Play Holi with me.

Money back if you don't have fun.

Don't forget your place, Bauua Singh.

I'm way out of your league.

That's really kind of you, Aafia.

I can find dozens like you.

Why like me?

- I like uneducated types.
- I can be the intellectual gent.

I've seen many English films.

Look, it's goodnight from me.

Stand there if you
want to waste your time.

Bauua!

Bauua!

Are you there?

So your head was against the door.
Like this?

How romantic! Standing at her door.
Then?

The usual.

What? Romance?

No, fool! A song.

Guddu, the orchestra cost 250,000.
150,000 for their costumes.

50,000 bribe for the
Imperial Hotel's manager.

80,000 to hire the nasty kids.
20,000 for color sprays.

Plus my suit at 150,000.

I didn't want to, but ended up
spending 600,000 of dad's money.

Thanks to the Goddess,
at last the girl looked at this dwarf.

"A color has no color"

"if it does not match the color
of your lips."

"A fragrance has no fragrance"

"if it does not match the fragrance
of your dark hair."

"The world pales next to you."

"You can only be mine."

"Everyone can see it.
I say this out loud."

"As long as there's light in the world"

"you'll belong to me."

"As long as I live in this world"

"you'll belong to me."

"As long as there's light in the world"

"you'll belong to me."

"As long as I live in this world,
you'll belong to me."

"I am your confusion.
I am your solution."

"I'm a little stubborn."

"A little crazy too."

"How false are the clouds
and spring showers!"

"How false is offering
a gift of flowers!"

"Only you are real.
Only I am real."

"My heart speaks the only truth."

"Etch your name on my heart
with your lovely hands."

"Open your eyes to my love.
Do I ask too much of you?"

"I say this out loud."

"As long as there's light
in the world"

"you'll belong to me."

"As long as I live in this world"

"you'll belong to me."

"As long as there's light
in the world"

"you'll belong to me."

"As long as I live in this world,
you'll belong to me."

"Forever you will sway
in my loving arms."

"Like the earth sways
in the arms of the sun."

"You will never be apart from me."

"Forever you will be a part of me."

"Shatter all my dreams if you wish."

"The shards of my dreams
will still dream of you."

"You are my inspiration."

"I say this out loud."

My good sir!

Your romancing will get my family
thrown out on the street.

I'll be fired.

Shut up! She's coming round.

I should shut up?
Pass me the agreement.

Where does it say
you'll ruin this place?

We agreed you'd spray colors,
there'd be some musicians

that's all.

Bauua.

Bauua, give me 100 rupees
and I'll tell you something.

Your father wants you home.

I paid you to hear this?

Rascal! What's this?

Lost your tongue?

You sang to her.

Now you're in love. What else?
Why deny it?

She fell in love with me.
And I started loving myself.

- Then?
- The usual.

Another song? You just sang.

No!

Intimacy!

God, forgive us!

Do you know

why the moon is sometimes
a half moon?

Yes.

Because the other half sits
on the Imperial Hotel balcony.

- Trying to be smooth?
- Trying?

Showing me your dimple,
making a fool of me.

I know your ways.

Well

let me try another technique.

Look!

Ten, nine, eight, seven, six,
five, four, three, two, one, zero.

Do it

again.

Ten, nine, eight, seven, six,
five, four, three, two, one.

Zero.

How did you do it?

Would you make the moon fall too?

Ten, nine, eight, seven, six,
five, four, three, two, one..

Never mind!

There's only one moon.

So

if we get intimate now

your job's done, right?

It's all you wanted?

That's what I thought, but..

But?

But

it's hard for me to say this.

It's insulting for me

but

I'm in love with you.

Wait. What are you doing?

Don't go. I'll be back.

What a scandal! Then?

It's a month since that night.
Haven't seen her since.

I've got a new SIM card
and a new number.

Don't fly too high!
Clever crows can end up eating trash too.

I've had my share of trash.
I'll just be the clever crow now.

- And fly high.
- Listen.

You wronged her.

- God will take His revenge.
- What more revenge can He take?

Remember when my father used to pay
tax in advance? I've paid too.

And if God asks me,
why this, why that..

You know, we cover our faces.

Don't believe her.

Blast you, Pandey.

- What is it?
- Can you eat sweets?

- What happened, Bauua?
- Sunita.

- He's back.
- Hold on a minute.

- Come here.
- Hear me out. Listen.

What's going on?

Look at me.

Are you duping her?

Bauua!

Scoundrel.

You talk nonstop.
Cat got your tongue now?

That's our Bauua.

Yes, I know.

You don't get it?
He's always going to look small.

I won't look different
25 years from now either.

True.

You're lucky.

You found a girl who'll marry you.

Even boys would say no to you.

Playing games with her?

Idiot.

Listen, Kusum.

They're both ready.
Fix the wedding date.

An auspicious day. Hurry.

He's getting married at last!

Congratulations!

I won't get married! I'll kill myself!
- How can he kill himself?

Where's everybody?
Ma'am?

- Guddu, let's celebrate.
- Celebrate?

How can you all eat?

He'll commit suicide.

- Who?
- Bauua, who else?

That's just typical of him.

He shouts his head off.
No one can say a word to him.

Before anyone calls him a dwarf

he stuffs money in their face
or pelts stones.

His strutting is a sham.

I'll buy you a shop
if he commits suicide.

God! What kind of mother are you?

The real mother.

Yes, I need 75 boxes of sweets.

Not 80, 75. Yes.

Move aside. Fine!

Bauua, you're getting marinated here

while the boys are jumping of joy.

Shut those women up.
My head's splitting.

Babita's coming to PVS Mall tonight.

Babita, who?

Babita, who?

Babita Kumari!

Your bride.

Your wife.

The one who'll enter this house
with bridal bells on her feet.

The one who'll feed your children.

The one who'll have henna
painted on her hands. Bauua Singh!

The irony of love!

Before I die,
she has come to meet me in person.

God is great!

Don't rub any more inches off me.

Get the scooter out, Guddu.

"Fill my brow with stars!"

"My beloved is here."

- Babita!
- Jitu! Fast!

I called you two hours ago.
Babita, costume and everything is ready.

Now you have.. Oh, no!

Did you bet?

I'll bet 500.

Call him.

He won't pick up.

I know his father too.

All cons.

Best of three.

The number you're trying to reach
is currently busy.

How about the best of five, ma'am?

The number you're trying to reach..

Shall I call back?

Okay. Let's try.

The number you're trying to reach
is currently busy.

Can I come in?

Yes. No one's bathing.

Madam, shall we leave?

It's a three-hour drive to Meerut.

Okay.
How much did I lose?

25,000. But you can pay 15,000.

Here. Go, get my bag.
I'll pay the rest later.

It's already in the car.
You please get ready.

- Shall we go?
- Hello! Costume, make-up and hair.

Clothes done.

Hair done.

I'm so pretty. Don't need make-up.

"Your love isn't true, beloved."

"Now I know how selfish you are."

"You change girlfriends every day."

"Your betrayal got to me."

Hey, Babita! Turn around!

She's a heroine!

Look at me!

"Now I know how selfish you are."

"You change girlfriends every day.
Your betrayal got to me."

Babita!

"You better go tell God"

"that I'm going to dupe people today."

"And you're to be blamed for it.
You better get this straight."

To heck with you!

Heard what she said!

She proposed to you.

- I love you!
- Give me a kiss!

"Your love was fake."

Babita, my sweetheart!
Look at me!

Bauua, faster.

- You want me to fly it like a helicopter?
- Step on it.

Move away!

Bauua, stay in your limits!

- Are you following your mother?
- No, your sister.

- Your daughter.
- No, my sister-in-law.

I'll teach you a lesson.

We'll get you.

Give him one.

- Don't flash your torch. Kick him.
- Hold on.

- I can't see them.
- They're behind us.

You blinded me in one eye
when we were kids. Remember?

- I can't see.
- Kick now!

I paid for your mother's surgery.

Why follow my bride? You selfish man!

- Is that Acchan?
- Yes.

Here. Pay your father's bail.

Grab it. Get your sister married.

Go grab it!

Guddu, there are still some jokers
around.

Push them under the bus.

Guddu, hold on tight.

Pull the banner.

Where are you going!

Stop the car.

- Pull over.
- Babita, what are you doing?

What happened?
What's going on?

Babita Kumari's car has stopped.

Her car?

She's coming out.

- Really?
- Yes.

Guddu, she's calling me.

- God! But why?
- How would I know why?

Go!

Do you love me?

Do you love me?

Love you too.

I also loved him.

But I guess all you men
just have that

- cheating gene in your DNA.
- No..

I like you in shorts,
I like you in jeans too.

Same, same.

- I want to kill all you men.
- No kill, Babita.

Already dead, dead.

Now go back to your pathetic life

in your pathetic town
and spend the rest of your life

telling everyone
that Babita Kumari kissed you.

No one will ever believe you.

No one will ever believe you.

In fact, no one will ever believe me
that I loved him so much.

So much that I'm crying
for that pathetic man.

I'm crying for that..

I hate myself.

Babita, come.

- Bauua!
- Easy, easy.

Why have you left me alone?

Where's Bauua?
Has she taken him away?

Guddu.

Babita Kumari kissed me, Guddu.

Your mother never kissed your father.
Why would Babita Kumari kiss you?

I swear!

She kissed me passionately.
The kiss lasted three seconds.

O' people of the world!

You have never respected me.

Look, there goes the dwarf!
Here comes the dwarf.

Today Babita Kumari kissed the dwarf.

- I'm going to sing a song.
- Hey, Bauua.

- I'm going to sing a song.
- God, forgive us.

Don't say such crazy things,
Your Majesty.

You're marrying tomorrow.

Maybe it's given you
a brain hemorrhage.

It happens before a wedding.
Let's go.

Let me sing first.

Yes, we're on our way.
The boy looks nice in his photo.

He has cute dimples.
What does he do?

His father owns a big business.

But, Dad

he's a little short.

So what?

Your granddad was only 5'6".

But what a gem!

- Is he tall enough to reach you?
- Yes, he is.

"Come, my beloved,
let us meet in the moonlight."

"Seeing you, the wilderness will turn
to spring."

"In this rain-soaked night.."

I'll walk this road! My foot.

Guddu, I don't want to get married.

I'm not ready.

Enough, Ashok!

Is this a joke?

You said he was short,
but this short?

You call this short?

Pritpal, do you call this short?

- He's a dwarf.
- A dwarf!

You're a top scientist,
and you want to marry him?

A dwarf?

I'm hardly a Cinderella, Dad.

What can I do if I'm in love with a dwarf?

You've fallen for a school dropout?

Should I have checked
his school certificate first?

I don't have to send him to Mars, Mom.

Dad.

This is the first time
I've met someone

who sees me, not my wheelchair.

He talks to me like a human being.

He doesn't think

about how one must talk
to a disabled girl.

He treats me like a normal girl.

- He doesn't pity me, Dad.
- Pity!

A dwarf pitying you?

That's enough, please!
Are you marrying him? Or am I?

Dad!

Okay. Now I want to see everyone
having a good time here.

- DJ!
- Yes?

Let's have a Pashto song.

What's Pashto?

- Then play an English song.
- Don't have any English songs.

Play a song in any language.

An Afghani song then?

Go on, play!

Oh, Dad, remember this song?

Duffer!

Let me ward off the evil eye

- or you might die.
- Get lost.

Your family duped you.

The post office played a trick too.

What's this?

Remember you enrolled for the Babita
dance contest? You're in.

This..

Come on!

"I'll say a prayer in your name."

"Day and night.."

It's nice and cool outside.
- Bauua, come inside.

- Bauua.
- What!

Congratulations!

These notes aren't fake.
Give them to me later.

I think you should take him to America.

- What is it?
- Well.. Sir..

Go on. You can talk to him.

Sir, where's the toilet?

Do it anywhere.

Go ahead.

He pees in small amounts.

Take him to the US.
Charge people to see him.

- Hey, girl, come here.
- Come on!

Come, let's go.

Hello! Excuse me!

Ma'am! Yes, you.

- How are you related?
- Her aunt.

You can stay.

- And you?
- Her father's sister's..

Out. Anyone who doesn't know
how they're related must go.

Her father's so-and-so,
etcetera, won't do. All out!

Kids, go outside.

What are you doing, Bauua?

What I'm about to say,
and what you're about to hear

only your close relatives

will be of help to you.

In romance, there come 10 seconds
when a man says, let's marry.

You and my father didn't give me
those 10 seconds.

You visited our house.
Two days later, it's done.

The musical ceremony in three days.
All of Meerut at my wedding in four.

Now I stand before you,
a bridegroom.

Are you proposing now?

Proposing? I'm talking
about opposing, Aafia.

I'm like the cuckoo.

I can't build my own nest.

I lay eggs in the nests of other birds.

All this, this wedding..

My hands are tied.

I really can't.

You're an American.
Why did you agree to marry me?

I took you for a modern girl.
You drink and all.

How come you suddenly became
the traditional wife?

You'll look odd fasting
for the health of your husband.

Come here.

How old are you, Bauua?

38!

- Meaning?
- 39.

In all these years

have you found anyone besides me

whom you could look in the eye
and talk to?

Everyone towers over you.

How long will you crane your neck?

You look at me straight in the eye.
I look at you straight in the eye.

We're made for each other.

Why be a cuckoo at your age, Bauua?

Build your own nest.

Don't, Aafia. Don't.

My heart can hear you.

But my heart does not hear you.

Control both your hearts.

Have a drink if you need to.

Go and sit in the groom's chair. Go.

Don't be scared.

The operation will be over
before you know it.

But if there's something else,
tell me.

What is this?

I've been selected
for a dance contest.

The winner meets Babita Kumari.

So?

You've hardly been selected
for UPSC.

Babita Kumari kissed me last night.

Look at your height, Bauua.

If Babita kissed you

then I'm carrying
Leonardo DiCaprio's child.

You've ruined my make-up.
Go!

You see

I was born a cuckoo

and I'll die as one.

Don't be sad.

I'll run away.

I'll run away.

You'll run away!

Go, wait outside.

Go, wait outside.

Little chap, sit down!

No, sir.

I'm not staying. No.

- Shall I show you a magic trick?
- What trick?

- Can you count?
- Yes.

- So count one..
- One..

- Two..
- Two..

- Three..
- Three..

Where are you going?

Stop!

Darn you, people of Meerut!
Get lost!

Where to, mister?
Ticket?

A man is basically 4'6".

Anything above that is arrogance

Babita made me arrogant
by kissing me.

Now I'm a six-footer.

I've left behind my family, friends
and Aafia.

But Bauua Singh would never
leave behind his courage.

Bauua Singh has won
five dance rounds

by defeating his rivals
and winning their hearts.

He's through the semi-finals

and now Bauua Singh comes
for the grand finale of the show.

He will now have to dance
against two professionals.

Ladies and gentlemen

please welcome Ganesh Acharya

and Remo D'Souza.

Whether Bauua Singh wins or loses
will be decided by

yes, my friends,
I present to you

the glory of Dabangg,
the life of Tiger

Salman Khan!

"I'm done for."

"I'm in trouble."

"I drank the nectar of love"

"and lost all sense of reason."

"I am the great lover."

"Let no one come in my way."

"The look in her eyes
makes my head spin."

"Since she became mine"

"the world seems full of lovers."

"I swear."

"By God."

"My heart has been taken over by love."

"My heart has been taken over"

"by love."

"How would you know"

"where the bird of love
flies in the sky?"

"My love is like a shadow"

"falling wherever it pleases."

"Love pierces your heart
with the sharpest dagger."

"When the pain increases"

"living life is more pleasurable."

"Our meeting is so unique."

"Our meeting is so unique."

"She's a wave, I am water."

"You are the river. I am the shore.
The waves roll my way."

"My heart has been taken over"

"by love."

"I love her deeply."

"She loves me deeply."

"I can't live without her."

"She's incomplete without me."

"I'll make her turn away from you."

"You may be her yes-man,
but she won't listen to you."

"She has so many admirers,
how could she care for you?"

"You're not tall enough
to have big dreams."

"You've become too big
for your boots."

"You're a crazy Indian,
she's a foreign fairy."

"For me, only love counts."

"That's why I'm an Indian lad,
and she's a foreign lass."

"You've won my heart
with your words."

"Let's be friends,
let's shake hands."

"Let's be friends."

"Let's shake hands."

Bauua! Bauua!

Bauua! Bauua!

Aafia!

Babita!

Babita!

Okay, listen, I've reached.

Call you later. Okay. Bye.

Mind your strap, babe!

Sweetheart, that's why
they come to see me.

Babita Kumari can't control herself
or her clothes.

Wardrobe malfunction
at her own film's success party!

Let them enjoy!

Your eyes are full of pain.

Excuse me?

Did he say that to you?

I have a complaint.

Why didn't we meet before?

Did he tell you?

Tell me.

Did he ask you to sit on his lap?

- What are you doing, babes?
- Let go!

- Stop that.
- Vinod, get me a drink.

Let's go.

One fine day, he just got bald.

But he looks so funny bald!

- Hi, ma'am.
- Hi. How are you?

"May your life be enlightened."

Hurry, Bauua.
Madam is on her way.

- What is this?
- Hurry up.

- Keep moving.
- Let me finish eating.

There she is.

Bring her here.

Another tacky party.

You must meet him.

- What is it? Who must I meet?
- The winner of the dance contest.

Don't worry.

You look fine.

Hi. Babita Kumari.

Bauua Singh from Meerut,
Uttar Pradesh.

Have we met before?
You look familiar.

I've known you for 15 years.

Yes, we've met. In Meerut.

Don't remember.

Anyway, congratulations on winning
the dance competition.

Keep watching my films.

Was I drunk in Meerut?

Not that drunk.

Did I kiss you?

No way! Meerut guys aren't that lucky.

I do crazy things when I'm drunk.

Good.

It's all good.

Ladies and gentlemen!

You're all such important people.

You have travelled the world
and seen so much.

But it's the first time you'll see

a dwarf plucking stars
from the sky.

- Mr. Tiwari.
- Yes.

This boy's not on my team.

- If he messes up, don't cut my share.
- Okay.

I just play the music.

Okay. Start!

Come on.

Come, madam,
let me show you magic.

Ladies, gather around.
The show is for you.

Come, ladies.

I've always encouraged new talent.

Show us your star-plucking.

You recognize talent.
Talent knows talent.

I'll show you some magic.

- Let's see your magic. Show us.
- Hi.

- Oh, hi!
- Wait for us.

Oh!

Hello! You look wonderful.

Some guy here is promising
to pluck stars like you!

Bye.

You're a newly-wed. I have to show you.

My gift to you.
Watch the stars fall.

Ready.

Long live the Goddess!

Ten, nine, eight, seven, six,
five, four, three, two, one, zero.

Ten, nine, eight, seven, six,
five, four, three, two, one, zero.

Ten, nine, eight, seven, six,
five, four, three, two, one, zero.

This is..

Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five,
four, three, two, one, zero.

Come on! What's going on?

Ten, nine, eight, seven, six,
five, four, three, two, one, zero.

It'll happen. It takes time.

It's okay. Take your time.

I..

Ten, nine, eight, seven, six,
five, four, three, two, one, zero.

Ten, nine, eight, seven, six,
five, four, three, two, one, zero.

Come on!

This is a new city,
that's why.

Don't worry.

Maybe they've fallen in Meerut.

Forget Meerut.
I can do it here.

Just watch. Ten, nine, eight, seven, six,
five, four, three, two, one, zero.

Ten, nine, eight, seven, six,
five, four, three, two, one, zero.

Ten, nine, eight, seven, six,
five, four, three, two, one, zero.

Let it be.

You're not that talented.

Madam, give me another minute.

- Maybe next time.
- Please wait.

- Bye.
- Please stay.

You haven't taken a selfie.
Take one.

What do you mean?

- Bye.
- You're laughing?

It's fine. Next time.

I'm going tomorrow.

- The moon.
- The moon?

- Tried the moon?
- Only the stars.

What's the hurry?

Someone..

Ten, nine, eight, seven, six,
five, four, three, two, one..

What's wrong?

First time you've been humiliated
in public?

Is that why you're sad?

Bauua Singh from Meerut, UP.

The stars used to listen to me, Ms. Babita.

I don't know what's wrong.

- They are..
- Of course they listen.

Whose heart did you break, shorty?

Yours, or hers

or all the hearts in Meerut?

Correct?

They're only stars, shorty.

That man used to say,
if I just looked at him

the ground would slip away.

Rubbish!

I can't even put down
this wine glass.

It's been two months
and it's still glued to my hand.

Shorty, when a heart breaks

even a wretched dog doesn't hear it.

At least your stars have dignity.

Now that's a good line!

Wow! Careful! Shall I walk you out?

Is someone like you going
to walk out on me too?

I've left the world for you.

Just say the word.
I'll stay glued to you forever.

Move away! Say something new.

That's a line from my old film.

You're broken-hearted.

Keep me by your side,
I'll amuse you.

I'll make you laugh
at least 25 times a day. I promise.

- I don't want to. It's not important.
- Okay, fine.

I can advise you on what to wear,
with matching lipstick.

I already pay ten people to do that.

If you're that smart,
why is your heart broken so often?

Babita, you understand
the world, but not people.

- And you do?
- Well..

I can tell the annual budget just
by looking at the Finance Minister!

My specialty!

That's useful.

Let me decide if I want you glued to me.

Come to the shoot tomorrow.

- And this director?
- An idiot.

- That one?
- Shrewd, a sharpie.

Hi.

Is she a friend or foe?

Neither.

She couldn't care less
if you lived or died.

The gangsters are circling
the heroine.

And him?

Why does he take my breath away?

Because he's a pillow girls love
smothering their faces in.

He pretends to be a poet.
Misunderstood by the world.

- But he's a..
- That's enough.

Ma'am, shot's ready.

- What?
- The shot's ready.

Not ready, dear. It's a wrap.

Get lost.

It's a wrap!

Bauua, want a drink?

What's today? Wednesday?

Okay, I'll drink.

Come. Close the door.

I'm plain unlucky.
Falling in love with a..

Enough! Let's throw up together.

It's coming.
There it goes!

Babita, in Uttar Pradesh,
people think you're an angel.

That you sprout wings
behind closed doors.

Your name may not matter to you here,
but keep your honor in my town.

Get over that man.

He's a cheap guava

and you're a pricey Kashmiri apple.

There's no match.

- You're right.
- I know.

A pricey

Kashmiri apple.

With wings!

Come here.

Do you have a large family?

All of Meerut belongs to me!

At home, there's mom, dad,
my younger brother, his wife and..

- And?
- And Aafia.

Aafia? Who's Aafia?

This fantastic girl.

Good thing the Goddess
put her in a wheelchair

or she'd be flying in the air.

She's as honest as I'm dishonest.

She was the only one, apart from
my mother, who loved me.

I ran away, leaving her in tears.

Why? Did a mad dog bite you?

Not a dog.
My dishonesty bit me.

Then one night, India's queen kissed me.

Want a slap? Move your foot!

You've got long legs, please.

So you forgot Aafia?

Don't you miss her?
Why are you here?

Because of you.

I do miss her

but I scold myself and say,
I don't miss her.

How long will you keep
scolding yourself?

Do you know why I've kept you?

Because I'm cute.
All the girls fall for me.

They love my dimples.

Cute! It took a thousand rascals
to make you.

- Really?
- Think I don't know that? - So, why?

Because my parents were dwarves.

Dwarves?

They looked fine in the pictures.
You're kidding.

They aren't my real parents.

I met them outside a temple.

My parents were dwarves.

They worked in a circus in Kolkata.

My mother was bought
from a Russian circus.

And my father was a Punjabi.
Both dwarves.

Amazing.

Dad was a lion tamer

- and mom was a trapeze artist.
- Then?

They fell deeply in love with each other.
They got married.

When my mother was pregnant

the circus-owner's daughter
fell in love with dad.

- Was she a dwarf?
- No, she was normal.

She seduced dad, so he dumped
my mother and they eloped.

- Then?
- They say she took him to Belarus.

They were together for a while,
then she dumped dad.

I heard she fell in love
with a Prince from Madagascar.

- Then?
- She sold dad in an Egyptian market.

Good heavens. Then?

He worked in a circus in Egypt
for 10 years.

Then he ran away to Yemen

and worked in an oil well.

People who knew him said

he loved my mother till the end.

When he died, he had a smile on his lips
and my mother's name.

- Alina.
- He loved her! Utter rubbish!

Why didn't he go back to your mother?

She was dead by then.

When did she die?

By the time he returned to Kolkata,
20 years later

she was already dead.

Why didn't he go back to her sooner?
To Alina?

My mother had remarried by then.

To a dwarf?

No, he was normal.

Must they all marry normal people?

- When did she remarry?
- Six years after dad had left, I guess.

Why didn't he return to Alina
in all those years?

If he loved her,
surely he should have gone back.

He should have.

Why didn't he?

You tell me.

When people love each other,
why don't they stay together?

Tell me.

Stop the car. I have to pee.

I must pee.

Sorry, madam. But your mother lives
on 12th Road in Bandra.

But he doesn't know that!

I was narrating the story of my next film.
How is it?

It's a horror film, madam,
but very good.

Today we're filming
the most important scene.

She's made us wait two hours.
Bauua, persuade her to come.

I'll go and check.

Okay.

I'll call you this evening.

Hey, buddy.

He begged me to forgive him.
He said he'd never do it again.

He loves me.
Everyone makes mistake.

How does this work?

Hello?

"Happy birthday to you!"

"Happy birthday to you!"

"Happy birthday, dear Babita!"

"Happy birthday to you!"

Let me through.

He's a cheat.

I saw him kissing that girl.

What the heck!
He's lying, Babita.

Me? Lying?

Admit it! Weren't you kissing him
in the kitchen?

That was my boyfriend.
I wasn't kissing Aditya.

Same thing.
Everyone is kissing someone.

He kissed her, she kissed him.

She kissed me, I kissed her.

These two guys kissed that girl
and she kissed someone else.

I didn't expect this from you, Babita.

I swear by God!

Bauua Singh ran away for love.

Honestly.

If he's come back, it's not for love.
He's conning you.

Babita, how do you bear this guy?

- For the past ten months, he's..
- Shut up!

What did you bring for Babita?

This silly ring? How much was it?

A million rupees? Two million?

Let me show you
what I've brought her.

Look!

Only for Babita.
Diamonds.

A locket.

A chain.
A chocolate.

A birthday card.
A ribbon.

A hair clip.

An Aadhar ID card.
Why are you laughing?

What did you bring?
You've brought her a stupid ring.

A nasty little ring.
A stupid ring.

- Enough!
- Your nasty ring. Let go of me!

- Get out of here!
- Your nasty ring!

Lover boy! Listen to me.

Just arrived?
The party's over.

You lot come here all dolled up,
looking for fun.

- Stop it!
- You'll drink, you'll blow air kisses.

You love to party.

While I love spoiling them.

Get out! What did you think?

If I bothered to talk to you,
you'd become special for me?

I spoil you rotten
and you exploit me?

- Get out!
- Don't let me go! Humiliate me some more.

Or else I'll never leave.
Humiliate me some more.

- You're a zero, Bauua Singh!
- Humiliate me more!

You're nothing. You have zero status.
Your wheelchair girl is zero.

- You'll achieve nothing.
- Good going.

Be with her, but you'll still be zero.

- Don't hold back, Babita.
- Go home, Bauua.

This time tell the people of Meerut

that Babita Kumari kicked you
out of her house.

Your wheelchair girl
didn't believe I kissed you

but she'll believe I threw you out.

- You're nearly there. A little more.
- I'm done with you.

Want to be disgraced some more?
Go jump in the lake. Out!

Done.

Thank you, Babita.

Here you are.

Thank you, fans.

Hello, everyone. Party's over.

DJ! Stop the music!

Put all the plates, glasses and bottles

in the kitchen.

Ma'am! Wake up.

Very good.

What are you waiting for?

Mr. Kapoor

- did you drive here?
- Yes, why?

You better leave.

Leave your glass in the sink.

Take her with you.

I guess, baby wants to party some more.

What are you up to?

I'm asking you to get out.
Politely.

Should I say it some other way?

You know another way?

Who do you think you are?

An angel!

I sprout wings behind closed doors.

I can't break every heart in this country
for your sake.

- Hello.
- Guddu, where are you?

As far as I remember, you ran off
a year ago. I'm still here.

- Want to go to America?
- Muslims get visas? Take me then.

Done. Bring my passport with you
and meet me in Mumbai.

Okay.

- Listen.
- Yes?

Dude

my bride is actually the previous girl.

Okay.

Aafia!

- Bablu, what's that dye?
- Henna.

Forget the henna. Make me blonde.

Full blonde!

- Bauua Singh?
- Present.

They want to take my photo.

Look here, please.

Whoever we send to Mars
will travel in a comatose state.

In fact, it is really so simple

that we can train
a monkey to do it.

And that is precisely what I have done.

I'm sure, you don't believe me.

Ladies and gentlemen, let me present

Indya.

Indya has an experience
of over 200 hours

working underwater

on a module
of an international space station.

He can take 0-G pressure,
just like our astronauts.

He's fully trained to drive

- on the Martian surface.
- come, sit?

And most importantly
Indya loves sleeping.

What is she saying?

- Something about Mars.
- Is she an astrologer?

A monkey is a better idea

than getting extinct and starting
from a chimp again!

Indya, no.

- What's going on?
- The monkey's gone crazy.

Indya, no!

Indya, stop!

Indya!

Indya, no!

"If you promise to stay by my side"

"I will sing lovely songs to you."

"If you look at me and smile"

"I will look at you and.."

- What was that?
- A gunshot.

- Who fired?
- Aafia.

- How?
- She has a gun.

- She's just scaring me.
- Scaring you?

Her hands shake.
That's why you're alive.

We mustn't be scared.
We must be brave.

We? You must.

I paid Business Class for you to sightsee?
Get up! Come on!

Careful. She has five bullets left.

- You blind bat! I know how to count.
- Get up!

Here goes..

"I saw you"

"and my eyes refused to turn away."

How you've changed, Aafia!

Want a slap?

How dare you come here!
Get out! Out!

I don't need permission
to meet my wife, Father-in-law.

Father-in-law?

Ismail, throw this fellow out.

Don't touch me.

Stop! I am holding a baby.

Get back, Ismail.
Let me talk to her.

Let me talk to her.

Aafia, I made a mistake. Forgive me.

I'm not a cuckoo. I'm a crow.

Forgive me.

I will caw around you all my life.

But you didn't stop me at our wedding.
You laughed at me.

- Shall I..
- Wait.

This kid's life is in my hands.

See at that baby.

- It's look at that baby.
- Look at that baby, rascal.

She's your baby.

Aafia's daughter.

Is she like Aafia?

Or me?

So how can she be ours?

- Hey, stop!
- Bauua!

Let him go.

"A perfect half-dream"

"once came to me."

"Like a tear of happiness"

"falling from my eyes."

"Oh, God, have mercy on me."

"My shadow seems cross with me."

"Knowingly, unknowingly"

"I find myself alone again and again."

"Loneliness has no bounds."

"I find myself alone again and again."

"Loneliness has no bounds."

"My eyes do not moisten
with drops of dew."

"I could not belong to myself.
How could I belong to anyone?"

"The depths of my heart"

"seek the truth."

"Knowingly, unknowingly"

"I find myself alone again and again."

"Loneliness has no bounds."

"I will win her, make her mine"

"or sacrifice my life."

"I will win her, make her mine"

"or sacrifice my life."

"My bad name foreshadows me."

"Knowingly, unknowingly"

"I call out to my beloved."

"I want to stay forever with you."

"I call out to my beloved."

"I want to stay forever with you."

"Being unfaithful did nothing for me."

"Let us see if faithfulness
will befriend me."

"Life turned its back and walked away."

"Let us see if it returns
to smile on me again."

"Losing everything is easy for me."

"Now I know how to regain what is lost."

Just come, Guddu.

- Listen, Bauua..
- It's my fault.

I'll beg for her forgiveness.
Oh, the doors are closed.

Mister! You, with the specs!

- Where are you going?
- Yes? Can I help you?

- The wheelchair girl who gave a speech..
- Aafia?

Yes, Aafia. Has she left?

She's gone. I got here late.

Do you know her?

Yes, I'm her fiance.

- Fancy?
- Must be her cousin.

- Can you tell me where I can find her?
- Yes.

Here's her card.

- Her card?
- All the best, gentlemen. Goodnight.

Fancy!

- Guddu, he doesn't look like her cousin.
- You're right.

NSAR.

Guddu, our visa will expire
while we're standing in line here.

Let's sneak in.

This isn't the Delhi-Meerut tollbooth.
You can't sneak through.

Anyway, they think Muslims come here
to plant bombs. We'll get whacked.

- What shall we do?
- Ask this lady.

- Shall I?
- Go.

- Side, please.
- My space.

- Ma'am.
- Blind man coming.

We're middle-class Indians.

- Are you Indian?
- No, lower middle-class British.

- Quit India!
- The Kohinoor?

We'll tax you double.

What do you want?
I speak Hindi. So talk in Hindi.

She knows! Oh! Why this crowd?

Sir, NSAR selects seven people
every three years

for their space program.

They want to see if a human can survive
in space.

- Understand space?
- You mean pace?

- Beyond the sky. Up there.
- Oh, that space!

- Can a man survive there?
- Okay.

There's six months of tests.

Today's the first selection round.
You get paid too!

- You're in the right place.
- We've come to see Ms. Aafia.

She works here.

She approves the candidates.
References don't work.

But shortcuts will!

- Who is Bauua Singh?
- Present! See!

- Here you go, sir.
- Blind man coming.

- Blind man?
- That way?

- You've got the pass?
- Do you see this?

- We've got the pass.
- Aafia knows us.

What's wrong?

What's this?

Where is Aafia?
I want to see her, please!

- I want to see her.
- What's wrong?

- You need to leave the premises.
- Let me go, please.

- Please don't hit me. Let me go.
- One minute.

Aafia is getting married.

- Let him in.
- Sir, we're sending you inside.

- Yes, yes.
- Let us go. We won't come back.

Hey, come on. Let's go.

Aafia, I've only come to apologize.

I swear by the Goddess.
I knew nothing about the child.

What's this invite?

Why are you marrying someone else
when you love me?

You may not love me anymore,
but I still love you.

Aafia, you were right when you said
we were made for each other.

We're a match made..

Stop barking and listen to me.

Now we're truly equals, Bauua.

We could talk eye to eye, that's all.
I've stooped to your level.

Your arrogant ways, your status,
your class.

I didn't know about the child, Aafia.
Do you think I knew?

When I came to your house

I came to tell you
not to be nervous, Bauua.

If I liked you, it was my problem.

You wanted to change
your phone number, fine!

But your father wanted
to fix the wedding date!

Go away, Bauua.

There's nothing left of Aafia.

Did you think

I came all this way looking for you

only to leave again?

So, you're trying it on?

You may be brave

but you have no feelings.

Hey, middle-class Indian!

Why are you looking miserable?

Well? Your shortcut didn't work?

Want my help?

- How old are you?
- What's age? I'm 38. 39.

- And you?
- Ill-fated!

"We did have a fight."

"It is an empty quarrel."

"All lovers argue, so you're mad at me"

"for a fleeting moment."

- The smell of gas reminds me of Meerut.
- Yes.

"I'm all around you"

"so how can we never speak?"

"Though you look at me differently"

"my feelings are unchanged."

"I'll never let you go."

"Come what may,
I'll never let you go."

"I'll belong to you alone."

"You can never get mad at me."

"It is an empty quarrel."

"All lovers argue, so you're mad at me
for a fleeting moment."

"I'll smile to lessen my sadness"

"though my smiles seem false to me."

"Every day I'm filled with fear"

"that you may break my heart by mistake."

"No matter how you treat me"

"it will feel like love to me."

"Not knowing my boundaries
has always been my way."

"Being alone is not easy."

"Loneliness is hard to endure."

"My name so longs"

"to be united with yours."

"I'll never let you go."

"You can never get mad at me."

"The quarrel between you and me"

"is an empty quarrel."

"All lovers argue,
so you're mad at me."

"for a fleeting moment."

- I like this Bauua Singh. Shorty is good.

He's small, but very resilient.

He's only passed his 10th grade, Srini.

Sorry, I forgot your chimpanzee
graduated from MIT.

We don't need an astronaut.

He has to sleep all the way
to Mars and back.

We just need a right-sized subject
who'll take the risk.

Aafia, I haven't figured out
if you love or hate this shorty.

Okay?

But trust me, a man at my age,
I couldn't care less.

I don't have anything in my life beside
this project and your brains, Aafia.

I don't know about you.

Yes, fine.

Whatever you say.

Srini

I feel angry all of a sudden.

And I feel like crying too.

I am going to go now.
I'll see you at the office.

- Are you okay?
- Yes, I'm fine. I'll see you.

Are you angry with me?

You're the one who's angry.
I'm trying to make it up to you.

Do you love me?

What do you think?

You love me a lot.

Do you love me?

Will you do something for me?

Anything.

Go away.

Let me attend your wedding first.

Then I'll go.

Run away, Bauua.

You're so good at running.

Break my heart then.
Like you've been doing.

You'll die, you idiot!

Then watch me die.

I'll watch.

The Mission Mars team is impressed

by your performance, Bauua.

Your reports are amazing.

So is your endurance.

You have a high pain threshold.
You're sharp.

Applied intelligence is excellent.

The team says, ideally

they would need a man like you
for the mission, not a monkey.

I agree with them.

But you'd be risking your life.

It wouldn't matter to you
because you love me.

That poor monkey
is so attached to his family.

While the very thought of your family

makes you uncomfortable.

The rocket's very safe, Bauua.

But I'll pray it crashes on re-entry.

Oh, I see.

Is that how you'll get rid of me?

Scare me away.

You can't bear marrying
anyone else when I'm around.

Admit it!

Go on.

Okay, I'll do it for you.

Who knows where you're sending me
or what you're asking!

But on the day it happens

make sure you get married.

Bauua Singh isn't running this time.

The words you just said,
you'll forget them all

when you're in the shuttle travelling
at 30,000 kilometers per hour.

The second you hear the noise it makes

you'll make a run for it.

When they count

ten, nine, eight

- seven, six..
- Hello!

When I was even shorter,
I could count backwards.

Five, four, three, two, one, zero.

Launch me in your rocket!

Did a star shoot?

At last!

God bless the stars!

Let anyone try to stop Bauua Singh now.

Bauua, what's going on?
The whites are applauding.

We're from Meerut, Bauua!
We dunk biscuits in our tea.

What do we care about rockets?
Or Mars?

Isn't Mars a faraway planet?
It's not a place to go sightseeing.

Wake up! Mars is not Saharanpur
from where you can sprint.

It's Mars!

She won't let me go.

I've seen the look in her eyes.

She can't do it.
The girl will stop me.

We are on the verge
of a very big mission.

And tomorrow we decide when this
decade-long dream becomes a reality.

We sign off on the take-off date.

The next 48 hours are really crucial.

Once it reaches Mars,
the gravity of Mars will slow it down

and finally we'll enter in orbit
around Mars

but the orbit will be elliptical.

NSAR is the world's most
reputed institution.

They have surprised everyone
by sending Bauua Singh to Mars

instead of a chimpanzee.

Bauua Singh is from Meerut in India.

The amazing thing is, Bauua Singh is not
very educated

nor does he speak English.

This launch is a huge opportunity

to learn about

the potential of life beyond our planet

with the ultimate aim of becoming

a multi-planet species.

Srini.

- You can't stay here for the launch.
- Why not?

Because we'll be getting married.

Are your calculations right?

100 percent.

Are you crying?

- What?
- You're crying.

- You're crazy.
- You're crying.

- Don't talk nonsense.
- You're crying.

Oh.

Hello? Yes, go ahead.
Doesn't matter.

Okay. Copy that. Thank you.

We're heading towards propulsion.

How long does it take
to travel 1.25 miles at 5.8 miles per hour?

12.9 minutes.

It's only right I say goodbye.

Very good.

Could I talk to him for a minute, please?

All systems ready.

Standing by.

You didn't run, Bauua.

If I didn't win you

let me bring glory to my country.

What do you care about the country?

You're dying for the sake of love.

If you were near me

I'd kiss you.

I'd do the same.

I'll wait for you, Bauua.

What if I don't come back?

I'll find someone your height.

T-minus two minutes mark, and counting.

Yes.

If I had asked you to,
would you have stayed?

Flight controllers, give me a go,
no-go for launch.

Booster.
- Go for launch.

- Surge in.
- We are a go.

- Network.
- Go.

- Guidance?
- Go.

- Recovery.
- Go for launch.

- Capcom.
- We are go for launch.

Flight control, we are go for launch.

Bye, Bauua.

Six, five, four, three

two, one, zero.

I kissed him.

There were so many amazing things
about my story.

It was like a dream.

It wasn't amazing that

so many tears and smiles,
so much love

amount only to a trail of smoke
in the sky.

The amazing thing is that we know this,
yet we fall in love.

It was not a surprise that I cried
when Bauua left.

The amazing thing was that he didn't run.
The joy of that fact dried my tears.

It wasn't amazing that an unknown
4'6" man from Meerut

was sent in a rocket to a planet
so very far away.

The amazing thing was that
he convinced over a billion people

that he could do it.

It was not a surprise that Srini and I
did not get married.

The amazing thing was, after so much
loathing, I loved Bauua again.

The amazing thing wasn't
that Bauua reached Mars.

The amazing thing was
that he did not run away.

The amazing thing wasn't that,
on re-entry, the shuttle

silently went missing.

The amazing thing was that
I kept waiting for Bauua to return.

The amazing thing wasn't that

Bauua, rejected by the world,
was even spat out by the sky.

One day,
the Chinese Space Centre got a call.

He was returning.

The amazing thing was, it took
15 years for that phone to ring.

The amazing thing wasn't that
Bauua Singh's shuttle

was re-entering towards
the Arabian Sea

at a speed of 20,000 kilometers
per hour.

The amazing thing was

15 years had wrinkled
many faces, honey

but the dimples on my face
remained forever young. Right?

Long live

the Goddess!

"A color has no color"

"if it does not match the color
of your lips."

"A fragrance has no fragrance"

"if it does not match the fragrance
of your dark hair."

"The world pales next to you."

"You can only be mine."

"Everyone can see it.
I say this out loud."

"As long as there's light in the world"

"you'll belong to me."

"As long as I live in this world"

"you'll belong to me."

"As long as there's light in the world"

"you'll belong to me."

"As long as I live in this world"

"you'll belong to me."

"I am your confusion."

"I am your solution."

"I'm a little stubborn."

"A little crazy too."

"How false are the clouds
and spring showers!"

"How false is offering
a gift of flowers!"

"Only you are real.
Only I am real."

"My heart speaks the only truth."

"Etch your name on my heart
with your lovely hands."

"Open your eyes to my love."

"Do I ask too much of you?
I say this out loud."

"As long as there's light in the world"

"you'll belong to me."

"As long as I live in this world"

"you'll belong to me."

"As long as there's light in the world"

"you'll belong to me."

"As long as I live in this world"

"you'll belong to me."

"Forever you will sway
in my loving arms."

"Like the earth sways
in the arms of the sun."

"You will never be apart from me."

"Forever you will be a part of me."

"Shatter all my dreams if you wish."

"The shards of my dreams
will still dream of you."

"You are my inspiration."

"I say this out loud."

"Beloved, your love is fake.
I know you are selfish."

"You are unfaithful.
I'm not able to get over your betrayal."

"Beloved, your love is fake.
I know you are selfish."

"You are unfaithful.
I'm not able to get over your betrayal."

"Go and proclaim before God"

"that I'm going to dupe everyone."

"You are responsible for this,
let me tell you."

"Heer has been defamed"

"for falling in love with you."

"Heer has been defamed"

"for falling in love with you."

"Heer has been defamed"

"for falling in love with you."